This week we want to share with you something that was featured on the web site, Theintentionallife.com, written by Dr. Randy Carlson. In this article, there are three principles given that can serve to remind us that sometimes we do need to “fight” for our marriages. Read Dr Randy’s thoughts on this issue and then we’ll add some of our own afterward:
“Peace is not the absence of noise. Have you ever thought of that? It’s particularly true in marriages. Perhaps you believe that if there are no loud words, no heated exchanges essentially, no fighting … everything must be okay. Problem is, if there is no fighting, it can mean there is no ‘anything.’
“There are a lot of marriages dying today in silent apathy. Men in particular, but women as well, can mistake routine for satisfaction. If everything is taken care of —the home is neat, the kids are bathed, the bills are being paid, the food is on the table —they believe everything is fine …when under the surface there are a lot of ongoing and unsolved problems. What can you do to give your marriage a fighting chance?
Here are three suggestions: (more…)
Divorced parents desire assurance that their divorce isn’t negatively affecting their kids. Unfortunately, articles that address the effects of divorce on children tend to combine facts and wishful thinking. Truly minimizing the effect of the split on your offspring requires viewing your divorce’s aftermath realistically. To this end, here are ten ways to realistically minimize the effect of the divorce on your kids.
1. Pray for strength to learn and apply the truth. As you dig deeper into this area you’ll find that the truth hurts sometimes. Pray that God will give you the courage to accept how things are and do what’s best for your kids —and your adult children if you divorced later in life.
2. See the divorce from your child’s perspective. The major oversight in assessing the effect of divorce on kids is we approach the question through an adult lens. However, the majority of us experienced the breakup as kids and saw and felt things very differently. If your parent’s didn’t divorce, take a moment and think about how your childhood and life would be different had they broken up. If your folks did split, reflect on how you felt about the divorce then. (Not how you feel about it now with 20/20 hindsight.)
3. Don’t buy into the divorce myths. One of the most popular misconceptions purports that if you and your ex do everything right (i.e. the good divorce), the kids will have few if any issues. This sounds good, but taking the spin off it reveals some important flaws.
• The kids will always have to choose between time with you and your ex. Children want both simultaneously. (more…)
- Cindy Wright – August 16, 2014
Here is a GREAT quote (from an unknown author) that few people realize —but everyone NEEDS to, if our marriages are going to be a good ones:
THE MARRIAGE BOX
Most people get married believing a myth that marriage is a beautiful box full of things they have longed for; companionship, intimacy, friendship, etc.
The truth is that marriage at the start is an empty box. You must put something in before you can take anything out.
There is no love in marriage. Love is in people. And people put love in marriage. There is no romance in marriage. You have to infuse it into your marriage.
A couple must learn the art and form the habit of giving, loving, serving, praising, of keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty.