In your wedding ceremony, did you use a Unity candle? If you did, then you and your spouse took the flames from two separate candles to light one single candle. This symbolized your two lives uniting as one. You then blew out the flames of the other two candles to symbolize that your single lives were no longer an option. You were joining in partnership as one together.
We’ve been to a lot of weddings where this was ceremonially done. It’s very touching when you see it and everyone more-or-less understands what the meaning is behind this ritual. But a few questions come to mind that Dr Gary Smalley asks in his book, One Flame … How to Weather the Five Winds in Your Marriage:
- “If you lit the flame of unity candle during your wedding, is your flame of oneness still burning brightly? In other words, do you feel a deep sense of oneness in your marriage today?
– “Do you feel safe and satisfied with a deep intimacy that you both enjoy?
– “Are you as happily married as you would like to be?”
Gary goes on to say, (more…)
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. (James 1:19)
Are you having difficulty communicating with your marriage “partner” to the point where you’re not able to bridge your differences? Sometimes learning and using a few simple communication methods may help you to come to a better place of agreement and understanding with each other.
Below you will find several different communication tools that could help you in your marriage so you’re able to hear each other better when you really need to. (Hopefully they will also help you to become slower “to become angry.“)
Just like in a tool box you’ll find that you don’t use every tool every day. You’ll find the same for the communication tools that are listed below. But they sure can be handy when needed.
We encourage you to use whatever you find helpful with the situation you’re dealing with whenever it’s needed: (more…)
-Cindy Wright – September 17, 2014
It is said that getting married is “the most idealistic thing we will ever do.” How true that is!
When we enter marriage we’re filled with so many hopes and dreams, believing them all to be a reality that will come true, because we have found the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with —as two people destined to build a life of love together.
But as we look around us and see so many couples who just don’t seem so excited about their love anymore, and we look at the divorce statistics, we need to take note. Perhaps, just perhaps, these same couples were filled with the same hopes and dreams, thinking they had found the person they could build a great life with —a life filled with love. But something changed along life’s path for them —something, or some things that took them by surprise.
Perhaps, just perhaps, a big part of the reason might be that they didn’t ask as many questions and work through as many hidden, unrealistic expectations as they should have before marrying. It’s very possible that if they had, they would have been more prepared for the real world they would enter into if and when they married.
That’s why books, such as the one that Bill and Pam Farrel wrote titled, The Before-You-Marry Book of Questions published by Harvest House, is a great one to go through together with the one you are dating or engaged to. (more…)