Because of the celebration of Mother’s Day, we’re concentrating on the influence a wife and mother can bring into her home. She brings either a softening or a hardening touch to most every situation, when it relates to that which involves her children and her husband. As author Melanie Chitwood says,
“Women are the heart of the home, and our attitudes set the emotional temperature in our families. A wife’s positive attitude can permeate our home like the sweet aroma of freshly picked flowers, or negative attitude can pollute her home like stinky garbage.”
The Bible says, “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:10-12). However, “A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand” (Proverbs 27:15-16).
“Better to live in a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife” (Proverbs 25:24). “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife” (Proverbs 21:19). “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down” (Proverbs 14:1).
Do you see what I mean as far as the influence a woman can bring into her home? So, for this Marriage Message, we’d like to give our women readers a number of quotes to read that can affirm, challenge, and help as you participate with God as His colleague, in ministering within your home. (Next month Steve will address the men on Father’s Day, so don’t think this will stay one-sided forever.)
• “Your greatest temptation to sin is when someone first sins against you. But their sin never justifies your sin.’ This is as true for spouses as it is for siblings. Fighting your husband’s irresponsibility with irresponsibility of your own is like pouring gasoline on a fire; it just makes things that much more explosive, that much worse. The Bible recommends a more subversive approach: let love conquer evil; let responsibility shame irresponsibility.”
…”It’s a spiritual fact that kindness kills wickedness far more effectively than nagging, complaining, or disrespect. Remember, God won us with grace when we were his rebellious enemies. He doesn’t ask anything of you that he hasn’t already done himself. God says that we are responsible to love, even in the face of another’s irresponsibility.” (Gary Thomas, “Sacred Influence”) [Read more →]
Marriage Missions Editors Note: At the end of this article you will find several links to other articles on this same subject, that are located in other sections of our web site, in case you’re interested in reading more.
With the advent of so many dual career marriages, the division of domestic responsibilities has become a major source of marital conflict. Changes in our cultural values have contributed greatly to the problem, because there is now almost unanimous agreement that both a husband and wife should share these responsibilities, particularly child care. But change in behavior has not kept pace with the change in values.
Traditionally, wives have assumed most household and child-care responsibilities, while husbands have taken the responsibility of providing income for the family.
While men are changing the diapers, wielding the mop, and tending the stove more often than ever before, it usually isn’t nearly enough. In dual-career marriages, men, on average do less than half as much child care and housework as their working wives.
As most women have figured out by now, men are not very motivated to do housekeeping. Many husbands think that any effort to help with household responsibilities represents a monumental sacrifice. But from the wife’s perspective, he is simply doing a small part of his fair share of the work. In many of these marriages, the husband demands that the wife do most of the work, and the wife demands that the husband do it. Neither feels it is their responsibility.
Domestic responsibilities are a time bomb in many marriages. Marriage usually begins with a willingness of both spouses to share them. Newlyweds commonly wash dishes together, make the bed together, and divide many household tasks. The groom welcomes the help he gets from his wife because, prior to marriage, he’d been doing it all alone as a bachelor. At this point in marriage, neither of them regard domestic responsibilities as an important marital issue. But the time bomb is ticking.
When does it explode? It’s when children arrive! Children create huge needs, both a greater need for income and greater domestic responsibilities. The previous division of labor is not obsolete. Both spouses must take on new responsibilities. Which ones should they take? In most modern marriages, both spouses opt for income, leaving the domestic responsibilities to whoever will volunteer. It’s a recipe for disaster, at least for most working women, because they end up doing most of the housework and child care, resenting their husbands’ lack of support. [Read more →]
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