“When you yell at someone there’s a part of the brain that shuts down —it’s the part of the brain that houses how we reason through a situation.”
Did you read that right? Yes! It’s been proven scientifically that when yelling starts there is a part of the brain that goes offline —much like a computer goes offline when its circuits become overloaded.
That proves all the more how true it is when the Bible says, “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control” (Proverbs 29:11). In other words, a fool yells (shutting off all reason) but a wise person stops, listens, and is then able to better reason.
Dr. Dan Siegel, who is an associate clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, and author of the book, The Mindful Brain, talked about this on a Dr Phil television program. He told Dr Phil McGraw that there is a part of the brain called the prefrontal cortex that “allows us to think and pause before we act. …It’s what makes us human. It lets us think, and plan and actually look at other people and think about what’s going on inside of them.” It houses our reasoning centers.
Dr Siegel then points to a diagram of the brain and says:
“This is where the more animalistic brain is centered. In general, our higher human brain controls that, but if we get really upset, if these emotional centers are getting active, it will literally shut that off, and this won’t be functioning. What do you think life would be like if we try to talk to each other, just from an animal brain?”
If you hope to survive parenthood with your marriage intact you must become unified in all you do —lock arms (and hearts) and stand firm together!
Being unified means understanding that this is not a one-person show.
The strength of your union will show in the day-to-day application of the plan you agree on. No matter how much the two of you agree to make your parenting and discipline decisions together, there will be times where one of you is put in a position of having to make an on-the-spot decision.
Although your basic, agreed-upon guidelines will help in making that decision, that is no guarantee that you will end up choosing what your spouse would have chosen. Disagreements are bound to occur. How you handle these situations will tell both you and your children just how united the two of you really are.
The following are some suggestions to help couples to keep up a united front: (more…)
- Cindy Wright – July 22, 2014
Is it important to know if you are compatible sexually before marriage?
I can well understand why couples might wonder because they’re trying to make sure they’re compatible in other ways before marrying, which can be good. But when it comes to opening the gift of marital sexuality before making a marriage vow of commitment to each other, it’s another thing entirely.
The following is something I wrote to a person who asked how it’s possible to know if they are sexually compatible or mismatched before marrying. As they pointed out, it’s difficult to know this if they can’t have sex before marriage.
Here’s a portion what I wrote to this person (and afterward, I’ll give additional links to even more information): (more…)