Marriage Missions International

100 Ways You Can Love Your Husband HIS Way

“A husband considers romance to be one way and the wife considers it to be another. The wife provides many romantic gestures which go unnoticed by her husband, because it wasn’t romantic to him. The husband can spend precious time doing what he thinks will bless and romance his wife only to discover she didn’t appreciate it at all.

“What is wrong? Are the gestures extended not romantic or thoughtful? No. Are the recipients ungrateful and self-absorbed? No. The spouse is simply not romancing their spouse in a way that is romantic to them!

“This is a great truth that once practiced is sure to produce lasting fruit. Study your spouse. Find out what romance means to them? It may surprise you! But if you do your homework you will become the master of what really turns your spouse on!” (Tom and Debi, from article, “10 Hindrances to Cultivating a Romantic Vineyard”)

Discuss the following list with your husband. Ask him to check the ones most meaningful and then arrange them in order of importance to him. Use this list as a basis for learning his views. Your relationship can be greatly strengthened as you use the suggestions, which work for your marriage —but keep in mind that these are ONLY SUGGESTIONS —not all or any of them have to be used.

(If interested, there’s a list in the “Romantic Ideas” topic which gives husbands 100 ideas, titled, 100 Ways to Show Love to Your Wife HER Way.)

1. Respectfully communicate with him.
2. Let him know he’s important to you.
3. Purposefully try to understand his feelings—even when you disagree with him.
4. Show interest in his friends giving him some time with them if they’re trust-worthy.
5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey)
6. Tell him you both love him AND like him.
7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely. (D Ramsey)
8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9. When confronting him, realize he has feelings also.
10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.
11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion, giving him time to adjust.
12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems—have fun instead.
13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of focusing so often on the negatives.
14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
15. Give him special time with you apart from the children.
16. The first minutes after a spouse comes home often sets the stage for how the rest of the evening will go. Try to make that time a positive experience. (Ease into the negative.)
17. Give him time to unwind after he gets home from work. Your evenings will be much more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey)
18. Don’t allow family members to treat him disrespectfully. Defend him to anyone that dishonors his place as your husband.
19. Compliment him often.
20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
21. Talk with him about having specific family goals for each year to achieve together to feel closer as a marital team.
22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.
24. Find ways to show him you need him.
25. Give him time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect at other times.)
26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.
27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk about him. Love protects (1 Cor. 13:7).
28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.
29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.
30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly (schedule it when necessary).
31. Initiate going out on romantic outings (when he’s not tired).
32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him.
33. Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind that he’d really enjoy.
34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.
35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is (giving him specific reasons).
36. Give advice in a loving way — not in a nagging or belittling way.
37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head at home (without “lording” it over him).
38. Reserve some energy for him so you’re not so tired when he wants you sexually.
39. Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.
40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life.
41. Take special notice for what he has done for you and the family.
42. Brag about him to other people both in front of him and even when he’s not there.
43. Keep conversations brief when he’s tired—so he isn’t “flooded” by too many words.
44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
45. Honor him in front of the children (differ respectfully in private when necessary).
46. “Look straight into the eyes of your husband when he talks to you or if you’re speaking to him. This will make him feel that you are interested in what he wants to say.” (J. Clain)
47. Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to and pray with him (you can go back to bed afterward, if possible —it’s a sacrifice worth making.)
48. Be his “help-mate” in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
49. Participate in shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him (like watching a movie and such) without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk.
50. Be a student of his ways so you show your love in ways he best comprehends it.
51. When your husband is in a bad mood give him time to recover. Don’t crowd him.
52. Help him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education when your see he needs it.
53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: “Handle With Care.”
54. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.
55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don’t make him choose between you.
56. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank him for things he’s done around the house. (It means a lot to men).
58. Don’t expect credit for all you do for him. Do it as “unto the Lord.”
59. Make sure he agrees with everything important that you’re planning to do.
60. Do little things for him—let him sleep in, bring him coffee, etc.
61. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.
62. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.
63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to “work” at home.
64. Get to the point in your discussions. Spare him details unless he wants them.
65. Discover his sexual needs.
66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.
67. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out at a group function.
68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he mis-speaks.
69. Don’t quarrel over words.
70. Be kind and courteous with him. (Don’t be kinder to strangers than to him.)
71. When things go wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better.
72. As a kindness, don’t say, “I told you so.”
73. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.
74. Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.
75. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public.
76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones.
77. Tell him you love him more often.
78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.
79. Sit with him while he’s watching TV—even if the program doesn’t interest you.
80. Don’t expect him to read your mind (despite your thinking he should— extend grace).
81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone.
82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff, when possible.
83. Put effort in to keep yourself in good shape so he’s especially proud to be with you.
84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words. Remember to “speak the truth in LOVE.”
86. Don’t criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity in tact.
87. Visit his childhood home with him.
88. When you’re angry, express it in respectful ways. Don’t give the silent treatment.
89. Pray for him.
90. Make him homemade soup when he’s sick.
91. Look your best—dress to honor him and make him proud to be seen with you when you’re out together.
92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer leader.
93. Don’t disagree with him in front of the children.
94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.
95. Cheer his successes whether in business or in other areas of everyday living.
96. Graciously teach him how to demonstrate his love for you.
97. Give him coupons to redeem—maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub.
98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet.
99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.
100. Thank him for just being himself.

The author is unknown, for the list of “100 Ways.”

— ALSO —

From the ministry of the following is a link you can follow and learn:




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515 Responses to “100 Ways You Can Love Your Husband HIS Way”
  1. Asabe from Nigeria says:

    Going through your write up, it gave me joy for I have about 30 women I am teaching and it was great. It will help me more.

  2. Rita from Ghana says:

    It’s so good.

  3. Bri from United States says:

    I agree with some of these things but a lot of it is not realistic for everyday occurrence. I am the sole provider while attending college. He is a stay at home father. I am not complaining. But I think this list was put together for an ideal marriage that does not apply to us. This seems to apply to a “man works woman stays at home” scenario which does not exist for us. I am not complaining, just stating that a few of these things can be impossible considering how little time I already have. The rest would just not be able to be done daily. I must stay focused to provide for my family.

    • Aimee from United States says:

      Agreed. I work outside of the home and my husband works from home, so a few don’t apply to us, either. And then there’s the fact that I’m the one who would rather be intimate more often than he does. :-(
      Some of them are screaming at me, though, like 68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he mis-speaks.
      69. Don’t quarrel over words.
      71. When things go wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better.

    • Tara from United States says:

      You’re so right.

    • Old man from United States says:

      OK, he is a stay at home father. He still deserves your respect, just as women would if she stayed at home! Everyone in the marriage has to work at it, so it can be an “ideal” marriage! These tips should work for both of you, but both of have to work at it. After finals, show him that you still love him, and I bet that he will do the same!

      • Wendy from United States says:

        I agree with you, and value the opinion of the others. A marriage as in all relationships, needs to be worked on daily. A marriage is a gift from GOD. it cannot, and will not survive and flourish without nourishment, neither will you. The woman has to show her husband that she loves him. Through GOD’s grace you have found each other. Did you pray for him?

        Remember your longing, and sadness as you were alone. Appreciate what you have, roll up your sleeves and get to work. If you’re the one working, and your husband (the father of YOUR children is at home with them) that is a blessing! Appreciate that YOUR GOD given children have the opportunity to spend time with their Father; many do not. You’re also not having to rush about to a childcare center, or take off from work when an illness occurs. Please remember those LESS fortunate, and stop wandering in the wilderness. Eat the manna; love your man. MAKE it work. You will find the strength to do it through prayer to GOD. Source: Married to my soul-mate Terry, father of our 9 children for over 25 years.

  4. Zayle from United States says:

    Was it necessary to write that many? Do you have a list like that to tell husbands how to love wives their way?

    • Cindy Wright from United States says:

      Yes, and yes. Yes, it was necessary to write that many so the husband can have the wife choose her top 5 or 10 or so and he can be more aware of how to show her love in tangible ways that are meaningful to her. And yes, there is also a list for husbands, which you can find in the “Romantic Ideas” of this web site.

  5. Precious from United States says:

    Thank you so much for this list. For the wives that are complaining about how long this list is, the list is definitely for you. Being married is all about serving your spouse, and dying to yourself! I know firsthand that’s easier to say than do! I prayed today that God would show me how I could help my husband and voila I found this site! God bless, and thanks again!

  6. Kanish from India says:

    Amazing tips… this will be useful for the ladies to lead their life in a success and happy manner… salute.

  7. Emma from South Africa says:

    Thank you for such wise words. I have truly learned.

  8. NOMSA from Zimbabwe says:

    Guys, this is just a good way of learning how best we can treat or husbands. I really appreciate this for I have learnt a lot. You tend to even realize most of the things you were failing to do for your husband. If you check closely though, it is meant for us women. It can also be used by our husbands on how best they can treat us. Thanks a lot.

  9. Cat from New Zealand says:

    I read BOTH lists (this one and for the wives) and I realised we have so much work ahead of us! I, too, am the so-called ‘bread winner’ in our marriage (for language reasons) and also a student. I can use many of these suggestions (that I have not been doing) to make things easier for my husband. I will show him this list, encourage discussion then show him and translate the Wives list.

    I hope this will help us grow closer together in Christ, as our mighty Creator of the Universe intended. Please pray for my awesomely wonderful husband and I. YHWH will know who you are praying for. Oh, and thank you for these guidelines and prompts. God bless you.

  10. Sherona from Jamaica says:

    Love your 100 ways to loving your husband. Keep up the good work God bless

  11. Courtney from New Zealand says:

    This is so awesome, I was actually showing my husband ways that he can be a better husband hahahahaha and then I found the list on how to sho. your husband you love him his way… Shux I have a few things I need to work on- lol what I thought was for him has turned out to be for me just as much :-) Awesome tool. Thank You.

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  13. wonder from United States says:

    My husband and I both work so we share everything, whether it be helping with homework or cooking, but after 10 years some of these techniques just don’t work. So we have found a common ground for everything and either make a decision together or support the other while they work their issues out. But the main thing we use is communication and support to get our family through whatever it is that they need help with.

  14. Chrissee from United States says:

    Thank you and may God bless you exceedingly, abundantly above all you may ask or think. This wisdom has blessed me today. Thank you for the light you have shared so that we may continue on a path that reflects the love God has for us.

  15. JS from United States says:

    Read both lists. Men’s says let women spend time with her friends. Women’s says let men spend time with their friends, “if they’re trustworthy”. Really??

    • Cindy Wright from United States says:

      Thank you for pointing that out… we have made the appropriate changes. We appreciate you letting us know.

  16. Losing Battle from United States says:

    #101. Ladies, stop keeping a scorecard of everything your husband has said and done wrong, and stop reminding him of it on a regular basis. God gives us a new day every 24 hours. If He can forgive us and let us start anew every day, then please let your marriages build on the good and positive notes. This goes along with not using the words “always” and “never” when you preface a statement. Husbands are really not that complicated. May His peace be with us all.

  17. JLynne from United States says:

    It’s taken me 22 years to figure these things out. Act on these suggestions and watch your marriage transform! The best part is that your husband will reciprocate. Be patient. It won’t happen overnight, especially if you have a history of approaching your husband with negativity. Unlearning takes time and consistency. May the Lord bless your journey!

  18. Lashnda from United States says:

    I think you have such great information and you will help a lot of people to get closer to the love of their life. Someday I will be married and I will be able to use this website. Be blessed. Still just dating.

  19. Omar from Jordan says:

    All of what you have said is a blessing. Being a husband I feel this is exactly what I need to feel appreciated. I would love it if my wife would give me the feeling of being a God grace to her. Personally I do all it takes to make this happen. Marriage is a challenge and we both should work on it together… With love and respect all is possible. Thanks for the hope you gave to me.

  20. Louis from New Zealand says:

    Number 4. The husband can have time with his own friends If they are trustworthy?
    I would have thought the husband would have already decided about his friends trustworthiness otherwise they wouldn’t be his friend. Or did you mean the husband’s trustworthiness?

    • Cindy Wright from United States says:

      Lois, you would be surprised concerning how many emails we receive, and comments we have posted on this web site where the husband (or wife) have friends that are anything but trustworthy. And yet they still hang around with them, even though they cause problems. Go figure! As a result, these friends have a horrible influence on this spouse. It’s so very sad, and shouldn’t be, but just because they appear to be a “friend” it doesn’t mean that they are a friend to the marriage. So, for that reason, the wife certainly wouldn’t want to encourage her husband to hang out with those types of friends.

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