Marriage Missions International

100 Ways You Can Love Your Husband HIS Way

“A husband considers romance to be one way and the wife considers it to be another. The wife provides many romantic gestures which go unnoticed by her husband, because it wasn’t romantic to him. The husband can spend precious time doing what he thinks will bless and romance his wife only to discover she didn’t appreciate it at all.

“What is wrong? Are the gestures extended not romantic or thoughtful? No. Are the recipients ungrateful and self-absorbed? No. The spouse is simply not romancing their spouse in a way that is romantic to them!

“This is a great truth that once practiced is sure to produce lasting fruit. Study your spouse. Find out what romance means to them? It may surprise you! But if you do your homework you will become the master of what really turns your spouse on!” (Tom and Debi, from Theromanticvineyard.com article, “10 Hindrances to Cultivating a Romantic Vineyard”)

Discuss the following list with your husband. Ask him to check the ones most meaningful and then arrange them in order of importance to him. Use this list as a basis for learning his views. Your relationship can be greatly strengthened as you use the suggestions, which work for your marriage —but keep in mind that these are ONLY SUGGESTIONS —not all or any of them have to be used.

(If interested, there’s a list in the “Romantic Ideas” topic which gives husbands 100 ideas, titled, 100 Ways to Show Love to Your Wife HER Way.)

1. Respectfully communicate with him.
2. Let him know he’s important to you.
3. Purposefully try to understand his feelings—even when you disagree with him.
4. Show interest in his friends giving him some time with them if they’re trust-worthy.
5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey)
6. Tell him you both love him AND like him.
7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely. (D Ramsey)
8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9. When confronting him, realize he has feelings also.
10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.
11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion, giving him time to adjust.
12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems—have fun instead.
13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of focusing so often on the negatives.
14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
15. Give him special time with you apart from the children.
16. The first minutes after a spouse comes home often sets the stage for how the rest of the evening will go. Try to make that time a positive experience. (Ease into the negative.)
17. Give him time to unwind after he gets home from work. Your evenings will be much more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey)
18. Don’t allow family members to treat him disrespectfully. Defend him to anyone that dishonors his place as your husband.
19. Compliment him often.
20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
21. Talk with him about having specific family goals for each year to achieve together to feel closer as a marital team.
22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.
24. Find ways to show him you need him.
25. Give him time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect at other times.)
26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.
27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk about him. Love protects (1 Cor. 13:7).
28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.
29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.
30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly (schedule it when necessary).
31. Initiate going out on romantic outings (when he’s not tired).
32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him.
33. Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind that he’d really enjoy.
34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.
35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is (giving him specific reasons).
36. Give advice in a loving way — not in a nagging or belittling way.
37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head at home (without “lording” it over him).
38. Reserve some energy for him so you’re not so tired when he wants you sexually.
39. Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.
40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life.
41. Take special notice for what he has done for you and the family.
42. Brag about him to other people both in front of him and even when he’s not there.
43. Keep conversations brief when he’s tired—so he isn’t “flooded” by too many words.
44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
45. Honor him in front of the children (differ respectfully in private when necessary).
46. ”Look straight into the eyes of your husband when he talks to you or if you’re speaking to him. This will make him feel that you are interested in what he wants to say.” (J. Clain)
47. Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to and pray with him (you can go back to bed afterward, if possible —it’s a sacrifice worth making.)
48. Be his “help-mate” in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
49. Participate in shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him (like watching a movie and such) without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk.
50. Be a student of his ways so you show your love in ways he best comprehends it.
51. When your husband is in a bad mood give him time to recover. Don’t crowd him.
52. Help him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education when your see he needs it.
53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: “Handle With Care.”
54. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.
55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don’t make him choose between you.
56. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank him for things he’s done around the house. (It means a lot to men).
58. Don’t expect credit for all you do for him. Do it as “unto the Lord.”
59. Make sure he agrees with everything important that you’re planning to do.
60. Do little things for him—let him sleep in, bring him coffee, etc.
61. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.
62. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.
63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to “work” at home.
64. Get to the point in your discussions. Spare him details unless he wants them.
65. Discover his sexual needs.
66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.
67. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out at a group function.
68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he mis-speaks.
69. Don’t quarrel over words.
70. Be kind and courteous with him. (Don’t be kinder to strangers than to him.)
71. When things go wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better.
72. As a kindness, don’t say, “I told you so.”
73. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.
74. Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.
75. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public.
76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones.
77. Tell him you love him more often.
78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.
79. Sit with him while he’s watching TV—even if the program doesn’t interest you.
80. Don’t expect him to read your mind (despite your thinking he should— extend grace).
81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone.
82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff, when possible.
83. Put effort in to keep yourself in good shape so he’s especially proud to be with you.
84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words. Remember to “speak the truth in LOVE.”
86. Don’t criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity in tact.
87. Visit his childhood home with him.
88. When you’re angry, express it in respectful ways. Don’t give the silent treatment.
89. Pray for him.
90. Make him homemade soup when he’s sick.
91. Look your best—dress to honor him and make him proud to be seen with you when you’re out together.
92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer leader.
93. Don’t disagree with him in front of the children.
94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.
95. Cheer his successes whether in business or in other areas of everyday living.
96. Graciously teach him how to demonstrate his love for you.
97. Give him coupons to redeem—maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub.
98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet.
99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.
100. Thank him for just being himself.

The author is unknown, for the list of “100 Ways.”

— ALSO —

From the ministry of FamilyLife.com the following is a link you can follow and learn:

50 IDEAS TO INSPIRE YOUR HUSBAND

50 THINGS TO SAY TO YOUR HUSBAND TO MAKE HIM FEEL GREAT

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Comments

483 Responses to “100 Ways You Can Love Your Husband HIS Way”
  1. Alisha says:

    (NC USA) You so can tell who the women are who don’t listen or want to listen by the comments they make saying that it’s all one sided and some how we lose ourselves if we do this or it’s sexist….thing is until you submit how can you expect him to?

  2. Nthabiseng says:

    (SOUTH AFRICA) I think trying to do everything that’s on the list is going to be extremely difficult but if you read the other topics they help you to put things into perspective. The rules are the woman must submit to her man and the man must love the woman. If you don’t believe this then you are heading for trouble.

  3. Trisha says:

    (UNITED STATES) How embarrassing. I hate being a girl sometimes. I ran across these lists (yes there ARE two of them for those of you who didn’t read the intro before commenting) and said, “Hey fun! I will print these out and we can each highlight the stuff we personally feel is important/ would like to see from each other…” then started reading the comments. How embarrassing. Nearly 450 comments in this section and well OVER half are females whining and nagging and scoffing at the very concept. “Oh, I’M not going to do all of this -it’s SEXIST!” “Well I work, what’s HE gonna do for ME?”

    Newsflash -nobody wants to hear it and I bet there’s a reason you ran across this list to begin with but you’re too good to for this. If you go to the men’s list there are a little over 100 comments. Most are men making simple, one-lined, somewhat positive comments (what a shock, eh?) and a handful of women -no girls -who ran over there to chime in some crappy catty remark. How embarrassing.

    • Cindy Wright says:

      I agree Trisha –embarrassing and sad! They just don’t get it!

    • Tony says:

      (USA) I was going to make a comment similar to Trisha’s today. I noticed a comment, by a wife on the other list about how the list of things men should do for women was so much easier than the list of things women are to do for men. She doesn’t get it.

      Yeah, if men look at this list, they would probably say the same thing. Why? Because the things that meet our emotional needs typically come easy to us, but perhaps not so easy to our spouse and vice versa. If the things came easy, we wouldn’t each need such lists; we would just know.

  4. Sara says:

    (USA) It is amazing to me how many negative comments are posted here! There are suggestions for wives to follow as well as husbands. The truth is some people only care about themselves and only The Most High can change their hearts. These are GREAT suggestions and I appreciate you sharing them…. some of which my husband has expressed to me before :O) THANKS!!

  5. Fatoumatta says:

    (GAMBIA) Wow I really love this because I’m happily married and I’m following this 100 ways just to please my husband because as a muslim women we should respect and be humble to our husband, so thank you.

  6. Chelsie says:

    (UNITED STATES) I appreciated this list very much. I have been married almost 2 months and my husband and I are doing great, but this helped me remember a few things to improve upon. As a newlywed, I have much to learn! I love that such simple things make a great difference in how others feel. One piece of advice we were given when married was to follow “I love you” with “because…..” Telling one another why we particularly love each other has kept us strong. We have also used it for laughter, sexual initiation, and gentle reminders. It is a great way to accomplish many of the tasks on this list.

  7. Jennifer says:

    (AUSTRALIA) I am laughing at 39. “Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.” I agree with the suggested gender specific ways to encourage and love your husband. It’s just that this one just makes me giggle. You see my husband is not ‘gifted in natural capabilities’. I’m not talking about complex carpentery or basic electric skills, you see he can’t even put on a load of washing in, or unpack the dishwasher. Yard work is a complete stretch. No there is nothing wrong with him, no problem with swinging a golf club or going for a run, it’s just that these domestic tasks leave him cold. It has required a high level of patience, and sometimes I am just going to expect “that which is beyond his natural capabilities” and he is just going to have to suck it up.

    But I realize that although he can’t support me in these ways, there are plenty of things he is good at. He plans great holidays, can shop for hours and can cook fabulous meals when entertaining guests. He holds down a great professional career, which has meant no financial stress for our family. We compliment each other and perhaps I need to get out of my comfort zone also.

  8. Queen says:

    (NIGERIA) I think you have to start by loving yourself, and then you can be able to love and cherish your husband. Every man will like a beautiful woman, look good and have good quality . A beautiful lady is one that has the fear of God, and prays for the husband, cares for him, respects him always, and is submissive as the Bible said. The woman should continue in this things irrespective of the husband’s behavior because that is the antitode of marriage problems, in a matter of time the result will show.

  9. Priya says:

    (INDIA) This is nice to study… just study.

  10. K says:

    (USA) I am not sure why the list isn’t realistic? It isn’t like you have to do the entire list? Some of the items fit a persons needs, and some of them don’t. There are some of the things on the list that my husband and I do on a daily basis anyhow, and there are others that I am going to start doing. I want to have the best marriage that I can have. We have a blended family where we raise all of the children together and it can get stressful. I want to keep it as relaxed as possible for us as I can, and if I step up he tends to step up to, so why wouldn’t I do more to make it good situation better? I would never turn my nose up at something that could possibly help. I like this list and I will take some pointers from it. Thanks

  11. liana says:

    (USA) In case you haven’t noticed… the women on this board complaining about how sexist and selfish this list is are the very ones who are unhappy in fact miserable, in their marriages. Why? Because they are selfish still, and do not understand the purpose of marriage. But the women who have decided to love unconditionally, to love especially when someone doesn’t deserve it are the most fulfilled… (sarcastically) maybe Jesus was onto something when he said the true reward comes from loving those who DO NOT love us.

  12. BB says:

    (USA) Then what does he have to do for comments, are one of the top reasons why most people divorce. They want to play house and assign chores. If you want someone to change the way they treat you, then change yourself! It is usually that simple. You want your husband to do those things that this list has, then put yourself out there. It is not over night and might take take longer than a year, if you change your behavior.

    The problem with most, is that they do something for someone, then they are owed. A lot of women today like to martyr themselves with what all they do for the family and hold it over their hubby’s head. Truth is they probably did try and you corrected, demeaned them about it, or just called them wrong instead of letting it go and being happy they tried. Telling them thank you for it and just walk away, if possible. A lot of people on here are screaming me, me, me!

    I don’t need a list because I did do these things, not all just like they said, and it turned around. It’s amazing how it works when you give the other respect and continuously give it, and when he does something you would consider mean and not throw it in his face, how all you have done, he will not notice it either. Eventually he will notice and change. You can NOT take score. A lot of these women who sounded so selfish need to decide if they would prefer to be right or happy? Truly think about that. You can’t always be both!

  13. Manil says:

    (PHILIPPINES) Marriage is holy for me. I am married to my husband for three years now, but he was my boyfriend for almost 7 years before we got married. I agree on this. We should honor our husband and love him through his worst and you will see what magic brings to your relationships. Nobody’s perfect but if you let Jesus be centered in your lives everything will be smooth sailing because like him, he loves us unconditionally and we do the same also. Love your husband in your most amazing ways.

  14. Eula says:

    (PHILIPPINES) I’m having a hard time living with my husband. I’ll try to follow these tips… Hope it can help….

  15. Caitlyn says:

    (USA) My 1 year anniversary is coming up soon, and these 100 Ways were helpful. Infact, these are some great ways to honor my husband.

  16. Epiphany says:

    (CANADA) I really, really hope that this is not suggesting a one way street as many women have mentioned. However I disagree with the “tit for tat” argument others are making. Some of these are lovely ways to show your partner you love him OR her (including same sex ppl), but every relationship should be founded on mutual respect, caring, and value of one another. A man is equally responsible for providing the same considerations and acts of love that a woman provides and “good wife” shouldn’t have to sum up her problems and trials of the dayto five minutes so that her husband can express his unrestricted, she shouldn’t have to make sure the house is clean, she looks beautiful and dinner is made so that she is a “good wife” as the Kenyan woman mentioned.

    I do not know we life or relationship, but on first impressions of this story, of course submissiveness leads to peace when you do not demand equal value. A man is not my embodiment of God and therefore my superior. But if we are talking about Jesus, he would want us to care for one another for no other reason than to share love, kindness, respect and forgiveness regardless of our role in providing or through gender.

    • Hannah says:

      (UNITED STATES) AMEN, I was beginning to think that everyone on this website was brainwashed to believe they were born to serve their husbands and to protect his pride at all times. Relationships are mutual.

  17. Grace says:

    (AUSTRALIA) This is all wonderful but I don’t think it works in all cases. I gave my love to someone 100%. I respected them even when they pushed me down. I gave them the world. I found out they cheated on me and when they found out I knew they burst into tears. Instead of being angry and leaving them on the floor crying their eyes out, I felt so sad and worried for them so I stayed and tried to cheer them up. I stayed with them for 2 more years. Yet I am sad. I am depressed. They still show no effort. They still show no empathy. So I feel useless, and unworthy. Should I keep giving it my all, and hide behind a smile, when deep down I am miserable?

    He doesn’t want me going to church. Which is the only place I am happy. I don’t know what to do.

    • HDW says:

      (USA) Your case is very common. You cannot sustain a marriage through unconditional love. You need your husband to show care for you. Otherwise you end up like Job, becoming a martyr for your marriage.

      I encourage you to read the book His Needs, Her Needs by Dr. Bill Harley. Marriagebuilders.com has worksheets you can download and use to explain to your husband that you need him to meet some of your emotional needs.

  18. Mel says:

    (AUSTRALIA) I’m a woman who married a caring and considerate man 7 years ago, and spent the last 5 years controlling, berating, being in charge, directing our marriage and criticizing my husband. Two years ago, he said Mel, you’re killing us. I loved him and didn’t know how to fix things, I was defensive but said I would try.

    One month ago, he began to spend time with an unhappily married and separated lady at work and two weeks later. He told me he wasn’t sure he wants to continue in our marriage. A week later, he decides he no longer wants to be with me but wants to be with her and has temporarily moved into her place with her and her flatmates until we split our assets and he can find his own place. At first I was angry thinking how could he do this to me. I stood by him after all! I told him to leave, I removed my rings and cried to my friends.

    Then I hit rock bottom. I realised I had just lost the man who really had loved and put up with me for 8 years until he couldn’t take it any more. He only just told me that the way he sees me, I don’t need him so why would he stay? For the first time in years I prayed. I asked God for his help because I realised I really could not do it on my own because I had just lost my true husband. I did not know how to be a wife. I came from a broken family, a violent, abusive father and my grandparents were no better. So I had no proper role model for my marriage. I hate to admit this, but I did the same things in my last relationship, which ended in a similar way.

    I found this list the day after I prayed and it opened my eyes to who I had really been. I felt so sorry. How could I have done this to my husband? I should have been loving him at least how I wanted to be loved.

    Needless to say, I realize he did something very wrong by betraying me with another woman and I forgive him already. I’m not sure but I think it’s too late for me. I just want every wife of a good man out there to know that you need to really cherish your man as the lord of your home, your heart and family and you will receive tenfold in return. Don’t ever take him for granted. Right now, I’m just surviving, resting in God’s hands and trying to hold myself together. It’s all I can do.

  19. Sarah says:

    (USA) I have been married to my wonderful husband for almost a year now and our relationship is amazing! When I read this list, and the one for men, I could come very close to checking off everything on both of them. We respect each other and honor each other exactly the same. I leave him love notes, and then I wake up and he has hidden notes all over our house! We constantly show affection in so many ways. He is my soul mate and he lets me know that he feels the same. It does not ever bother me to do these things for my husband, because he does not treat it like he deserves it, and it is something I should do. I am a working mother and I still make time to do what a stay at home mother does also. He always appreciates me and does the same type of sweet things in return. Not only is he my husband, he is also my best friend. I know we have an everlasting love, and I thank God for him every single day!

  20. Tammy says:

    (USA) To Mrs H. You are a wise lady. I’ve been married going on 27 years. My husband treated me like a second class person for most of our life together. It wan’t til he finally started turning his life over to God that he really started to treat me right. I prayed for all these years to get to this level with him.

    I believe once you get married you stay together and make it work. No matter how long it takes. I think I had the most difficult husband on the planet. Now he is listening to me. And learning from me. I wish he wouldn’t have taken so long to know what he had though. I am almost all gray from the waiting. Waiting for respect. Waiting for attention. Waiting to feel loved and appreciated and valued. Our kids have been damaged. We have a lot of work to do spiritually with them. I’m still glad I stayed in the relationship. We were two damaged people from broken homes and mean moms. We are blessed even with everything from our past. I just had to keep giving my problems to God. God came through for me. I love my God and I am so greatfull.

  21. Sera says:

    (KENYA) I had a God fearing man in my life. He knew the recipe for a successful marriage and relationship but I was so stuck on what the world says is right that what the word of God teaches that I lost him, I now know that if only I had been humble and not kept arguing with him all the time we’d probably still be together. I have learnt my lesson that submission is not defeat neither is it stupidity… It is saying I love you and I care enough to trust you. You are the head and I’m the neck. I have learnt a lesson for my future.

    • Jupo says:

      (USA) My GOD, how transparent are you to share this!!! It takes a lot for someone to admit they messed up what GOD may have ordained. A lot of women grow up not knowing how to be submissive to their husbands. They want to be, but they do not understand how to be and have not been taught. That is why I love this website, because when you read it with your heart and spirit open, it convicts you quickly. Me at least.

      I had to be taught by my pastor how to be a great husband coupled with this website, although my father is in my life. He was never really taught either. When we learn from and share our mistakes, they become testimonies for those who need us. I heard this quote, “mentorship cuts the cost of time.” When we listened to those who counsel us, we spend less time messing up. Great post, Sera.

  22. Tim says:

    (UNITED STATES) I have found this article to be completely disrespectful of women. We were not born on this earth simply to serve and please our men. A marriage should be an equal relationship and this article spells out a recipe for disaster if your spouse is anything less than a perfectly angelic and thus, inhuman husband. A husband is not God -a husband is a human being that you should possess human-like relationships with and he should not be waited on hand and foot to the point that the wife becomes belittled to the “loyal servant” figure in order to appease her husband at all times.

    Ladies, we are not here to SERVE our husbands, we should seek marriage such that we can exist as independent women and simultaneously expect to both receive and provide support to and from our husbands. While there are a few good points and tips in this article, I shouldn’t be asked to ignore the “negatives” of my husband’s behavior simply to protect his poor pride. If this article asks humility of women I hope it also asks humility of men. A man should be humble to HIS mistakes and a women should not be embarrassed to call him out if something is wrong or if she feels disrespected. As I said before and I will reiterate again… a husband is not God and he should not be treated as such. He is not always right.

    • Cindy Wright says:

      Tim, you miss the point of this. A wife isn’t expected to do ALL of this –she doesn’t even have to do SOME of it –ESPECIALLY if she has an abusive husband. These are light-hearted SUGGESTIONS IF and only IF a wife wants some suggestions. It’s the same for husbands (with the “100 Ways to Love Your Wife” article). These are tips, not laws. These are possibilities, not “you have to’s” …They aren’t mandatory. Please lighten up!

    • Jupo says:

      (USA) Obviously, this has to be the only article you have ever read on this website. You do know that there is one of these lists to love thier wives 100 ways? You know who speaks like this, people who are not led by the spirit. Be careful in what you speak around this place, because like everyone else on this board, you will be held accountable. When we are led according to the flesh, we can only fathom what human reasoning tells us. We do not hear GOD like we say we do. Remember this, as long as I am fleshly led, I will only yield fleshly results. Great article by the way, Cindy!!

  23. Cathy says:

    (UK) I like this list. I feel happier now doing things for husband without EXPECTING anything in return. It’s so much better than doing something and expecting. We have been married 4 months and have problems already, but I’ve missed on the things he has done for me, despite a hurdle in our marriage just a month ago. Practicing forgiveness and just doing things out of love like unto the lord is opening my heart and soul to see things clearer and be stronger. Slowly and surely I hope to show my love better just as he has done by “coping” with the amount of times I’ve pushed him to the corner over a hurtful thing. He still says he wants to be with me so that’s enough to know that love is with us. I’m very thankful for prayer, the Lord’s love & wisdom, and a complete strangers help.

  24. Fatme says:

    (FL) Hi, I need to learn more about marriage.

  25. Sam says:

    (UNITED STATES) I have been married for 4 years this year. I’m ashamed because I have let things in my marriage hurt me. In the beginning I would be able to let things go and be humble. When we became ministers it seems like we have been bumping our heads a lot about little things. I have been praying and asking God to help me to become the woman of God he has called me to be as a wife and a minister.

  26. Rachel says:

    (USA) Today was my wedding anniversary and he asked for the day off to be with me. Later on he got mad for an opinion I made then he canceled all the plans because of my attitude. After all, he decide to take me out anyways. We didn’t talk that much all day and it was not that special like I wished. I made him a picture with a letter that took me at least an hour to do. He never responded to it or acted like he even cared. At end of the day he got me so mad that I started saying means to hurt him even though I was stlll mad, I said I’m sorry for everything. He never said anything or just decided to not be with me just because he say it .. I don’t know what to do or think any more any opinions to help me with this.

  27. Steph says:

    (USA) I think we can all agree to disagree. Not all men deserve this treatment. I for one know it is hard to respect and wait on a man hand and foot, raise 3 kids plus do all chores and be a full time student… then have the so called man talk to other women and be physically AND verbally abusive. Those of you who have great guys, congrats. Those who lack a great guy, well I am right there with you.

    • Robert says:

      (PHILIPPINES) Well, sorry for that, I have also my wife which so opposite to mine. Just try to work for it.

    • Jean from United States says:

      That’s why it is important for women to spread the word to other women and let them know that wives are not the ones at fault for the problems in the marriage. Wives ARE NOT the problem. The problem can be either spouse, but when a man is cold, distant, cheating, rude, non affectionate, and so on, ignoring his wife’s awesome responsibilities that hang at her feet, then this is NOT her fault. She is not the one to do a list of 100 items. THEY BOTH ARE!!

      This is the husband who is allowing Satan to control him. Don’t blame a wife because a man wants to be spoiled and have his ego stroked. When in the name of rat’s fart, does a woman have the time to stroke a man’s ego when she is breast feeding a 9 month old and is 4 months pregnant with a 5year old at her knee, and a teen age child needing to be driven to piano practice and all the while she is trying to cook dinner?? Now tell me again who should be doing a list of 100 items.

      And what makes the wife blame so much worse, is that people keep scolding and blaming th wives and guess what? Wives are so easily decieved and gullible, and weak, that they fall for this and accept the blame from some so called marriage counselors on the internet.

      I know that God is love. I know that he loves wives too. If one spouse is being selfish, cold, unloving, and not helping and supporting the other, then that spouse is wrong. Don’t you women in the reading audience, see that something is terribly wrong with the techniques that counselors tell you all. Think for a minute or two wives, before you blame yourselves.

  28. Robert says:

    (PILIPPINES) I read this 100 ways and praying that my wife will do this to me, because I am frustrated at this time, I feel like I’m not loved much by my wife, I feel cheated.. the 100 ways is great stuff, I hope she can search this site…

    • Jean from United States says:

      Do we men apply those 100 ways to our wives? You will frustrate and cause harm to our wives’ hearts. It makes women rebellious when writers and counselors always tell them to do the marriage work. Why are we
      always putting this on them? This is not of God. Everything is not about the husband, but about God. God wants us to do these to each other.

  29. Memuna from Sierra Leone says:

    I agree to that comment and I love my husband too much. My husband is 28 years older than me and he is giving me a lot of problem. I am 22 and am really tired of the nagging. I really want to get a divorce. What can I do to change him?

    • Asiah from Egypt says:

      You should remains calm and be strong. Nothing is going to get better by divorce. Do things that you love to do, except for cheating. There is no excuse for cheating.

  30. Memuna from Sierra Leone says:

    I agree to you Jean. The bible says do unto others as you will like others to do unto you. Love is treating good to each other.

  31. Evie from United States says:

    Well, I’m an atheist and I’m amazed by all the Christian women in these comments who seem to hate their husbands. Aside from the religious stuff I see nothing wrong with this list: why wouldn’t you want to treat your husband with love and kindness? Why did you marry him in the first place if you don’t trust or respect him?

    • Tony from United States says:

      As a Christian, I’ve always seen the wisdom in C.S. Lewis’ view that the biggest impediment to the spread of Christianity is Christians. That’s a paraphrase of course, but I believe it fits here.

      Not saying that we Christian men are any better. It’s an equal opportunity flaw that doesn’t favor one gender or the other.

  32. Lauren from United States says:

    The part about “giving him time” to hang out with friends “if they are trustworthy” is a little crazy. If you trust him it doesn’t matter what you think of his friends. If you don’t trust him, you shouldn’t be with him.

    • Cindy Wright from United States says:

      Lauren, Yes, if you don’t trust his friends, this WOULD seem crazy. But again, just as the beginning paragraph tells you, these are SUGGESTIONS, not mandates where you have to follow everything that is written here, or any of it. Use your brain, pray, and see what is possible to use if you want to show your husband love his way. Throw away that which doesn’t apply.

  33. Peter from China says:

    Hi, I have the most loving wife in the world. I know she has never read these list nevertheles I did not expect her to be different from what she is. It wasn’t easy to accept some of her stuff but I cherish every moment I can spend with Her. She gave her life to me and that is my biggest responsibility in my life. I will never be able to pay her back for her decision to be my wife. We have 3 children so she has a lot to do BUT she has always made me feel that I’m first and I hope that she feels the same way.

    I have one suggestion to all woman: Find out really who you are and what you are! When you start working towards it things will fall in place. People say men and women are different but I think we would not believe how much we are same.

  34. Judah from India says:

    I went through all the comments and noticed a pattern with the people who respond negatively in comparison to the people who respond positively to such an article. The people who respond negatively automatically have a sense of anger behind their words, and the people who respond positively have a sense of peace to their words. The negative people also never read properly through the article because it mentions the list for men to follow. There are also a couple of statements in the list that imply that we should love unconditionally. YES, there are women who have abusive husbands I’m sure and women forget that men have feelings too and it shows in a variety of ways. There are countless men that can also blame women for their bad behavior, but how is this blaming game going to make any improvements in this world.

    It is about time we see more articles that focus on strengthening marriages like this one. SURELY people… every person who says their vows and gets married does NOT have the intention of getting a divorce later in the marriage. We ALL want a happy marriage! One of the greatest tests for one’s character is marriage. It exposes your own weaknesses, which can later turn your head to face in the right direction… and you know what… THAT is a blessing. I appreciate this article because it is the start of a step forward. Lastly in light of this article, Ephesians 5 talks about wives and husbands roles, and says about submitting to the husband for God. It is important to know that when you do this you actually are bringing Jesus into your home and into your husband. So whatever his or your mistake/problem is… Jesus will speak to BOTH of you.

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