100 Ways You Can Love Your Husband HIS Way

“A husband considers romance to be one way and the wife considers it to be another. The wife provides many romantic gestures which go unnoticed by her husband, because it wasn’t romantic to him. The husband can spend precious time doing what he thinks will bless and romance his wife only to discover she didn’t appreciate it at all.

“What is wrong? Are the gestures extended not romantic or thoughtful? No. Are the recipients ungrateful and self-absorbed? No. The spouse is simply not romancing their spouse in a way that is romantic to them!

“This is a great truth that once practiced is sure to produce lasting fruit. Study your spouse. Find out what romance means to them? It may surprise you! But if you do your homework you will become the master of what really turns your spouse on!” (Tom and Debi, from Theromanticvineyard.com article, “10 Hindrances to Cultivating a Romantic Vineyard”)

Discuss the following list with your husband. Ask him to check the ones most meaningful and then arrange them in order of importance to him. Use this list as a basis for learning his views. Your relationship can be greatly strengthened as you use the suggestions, which work for your marriage —but keep in mind that these are ONLY SUGGESTIONS —not all or any of them have to be used.

(If interested, there’s a list in the “Romantic Ideas” topic which gives husbands 100 ideas, titled, 100 Ways to Show Love to Your Wife HER Way.)

1. Respectfully communicate with him.
2. Let him know he’s important to you.
3. Purposefully try to understand his feelings—even when you disagree with him.
4. Show interest in his friends giving him some time with them if they’re trust-worthy.
5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey)
6. Tell him you both love him AND like him.
7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely. (D Ramsey)
8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9. When confronting him, realize he has feelings also.
10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.
11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion, giving him time to adjust.
12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems—have fun instead.
13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of focusing so often on the negatives.
14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
15. Give him special time with you apart from the children.
16. The first minutes after a spouse comes home often sets the stage for how the rest of the evening will go. Try to make that time a positive experience. (Ease into the negative.)
17. Give him time to unwind after he gets home from work. Your evenings will be much more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey)
18. Don’t allow family members to treat him disrespectfully. Defend him to anyone that dishonors his place as your husband.
19. Compliment him often.
20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
21. Talk with him about having specific family goals for each year to achieve together to feel closer as a marital team.
22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.
24. Find ways to show him you need him.
25. Give him time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect at other times.)
26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.
27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk about him. Love protects (1 Cor. 13:7).
28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.
29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.
30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly (schedule it when necessary).
31. Initiate going out on romantic outings (when he’s not tired).
32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him.
33. Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind that he’d really enjoy.
34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.
35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is (giving him specific reasons).
36. Give advice in a loving way — not in a nagging or belittling way.
37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head at home (without “lording” it over him).
38. Reserve some energy for him so you’re not so tired when he wants you sexually.
39. Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.
40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life.
41. Take special notice for what he has done for you and the family.
42. Brag about him to other people both in front of him and even when he’s not there.
43. Keep conversations brief when he’s tired—so he isn’t “flooded” by too many words.
44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
45. Honor him in front of the children (differ respectfully in private when necessary).
46. “Look straight into the eyes of your husband when he talks to you or if you’re speaking to him. This will make him feel that you are interested in what he wants to say.” (J. Clain)
47. Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to and pray with him (you can go back to bed afterward, if possible —it’s a sacrifice worth making.)
48. Be his “help-mate” in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
49. Participate in shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him (like watching a movie and such) without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk.
50. Be a student of his ways so you show your love in ways he best comprehends it.
51. When your husband is in a bad mood give him time to recover. Don’t crowd him.
52. Help him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education when your see he needs it.
53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: “Handle With Care.”
54. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.
55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don’t make him choose between you.
56. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank him for things he’s done around the house. (It means a lot to men).
58. Don’t expect credit for all you do for him. Do it as “unto the Lord.”
59. Make sure he agrees with everything important that you’re planning to do.
60. Do little things for him—let him sleep in, bring him coffee, etc.
61. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.
62. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.
63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to “work” at home.
64. Get to the point in your discussions. Spare him details unless he wants them.
65. Discover his sexual needs.
66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.
67. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out at a group function.
68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he mis-speaks.
69. Don’t quarrel over words.
70. Be kind and courteous with him. (Don’t be kinder to strangers than to him.)
71. When things go wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better.
72. As a kindness, don’t say, “I told you so.”
73. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.
74. Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.
75. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public.
76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones.
77. Tell him you love him more often.
78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.
79. Sit with him while he’s watching TV—even if the program doesn’t interest you.
80. Don’t expect him to read your mind (despite your thinking he should— extend grace).
81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone.
82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff, when possible.
83. Put effort in to keep yourself in good shape so he’s especially proud to be with you.
84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words. Remember to “speak the truth in LOVE.”
86. Don’t criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity in tact.
87. Visit his childhood home with him.
88. When you’re angry, express it in respectful ways. Don’t give the silent treatment.
89. Pray for him.
90. Make him homemade soup when he’s sick.
91. Look your best—dress to honor him and make him proud to be seen with you when you’re out together.
92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer leader.
93. Don’t disagree with him in front of the children.
94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.
95. Cheer his successes whether in business or in other areas of everyday living.
96. Graciously teach him how to demonstrate his love for you.
97. Give him coupons to redeem—maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub.
98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet.
99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.
100. Thank him for just being himself.

The author is unknown, for the list of “100 Ways.”

— ALSO —

From the ministry of FamilyLife.com the following is a link you can follow and learn:




Filed under: Romantic Ideas

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562 responses to “100 Ways You Can Love Your Husband HIS Way

    1. I’m sorry to say that we don’t. But you are welcome to put it into Spanish and pass it onto those who could use it. We hope it will bless :)

  1. It mentions a lot about how he’s had a hard day at work and when he gets home. But I’m the one that works and I’m going to bust my butt and he is home taking care of the children. So I don’t understand how to apply a lot of these.

    1. Keep in mind that these are “suggestions” as mentioned in the article and that not ALL of them are applicable, nor would some of these suggestions make sense for EVERYONE’S marriage. Pray, read, and see what you can use. You can also adapt those that need it for your marriage. Please also look at: http://marriagemissions.com/100-ways-you-can-love-your-wife-her-way/. You will find some overlap and some that are different. But in both cases, these are SUGGESTIONS, not hard and set commandments.

  2. I love this. It makes me feel new and feels like I am gonna make my hubby the happiest man ever! Thank you so much.

  3. My husband is very hurtful, physically and selfish. He is 70 and I am 60. He represents himself to others as an important Christian man. I’ve told them when he did great damage to my body, well only 2 people I told, they are his ‘right hand’ men and the good ole boy system took over. Short of suicide is there any answer at my age? And to not make him angry?

    1. Please call a suicide hot line. Find help with domestic violence counseling. You are a beautiful, strong woman. Find strength to reach for help from God.

      1. I just read “Me from the United States” comment regarding her husband being physically abusive to her. I agree with the initial response/advice that was given. Anyone who portrays themselves to be a “man of God” and physically harms their spouse, as she has stated, is dangerous in a multitude of ways besides the obvious. She needs to leave…and do so in a smart and extremely cautious way.

        “Me” never accept physical abuse and NEVER, EVER contemplate taking your life! You are too precious in the eyes of God for such thoughts. You are here for a reason and it wasn’t to be trampled on by anyone. Be safe and plan well… but, my suggestion is for you to leave… and leave with caution and a secure plan. Pray first and listen to your spirit! God is the Best of Planners! May you be safe always and at peace!

  4. Last year we lost our daughter. My husband and I were deeply depressed. But we decided to start everything from the beginning. I love him. I am grateful for the every single minute being with him.

  5. I try to comply with my husband’s wishes but there is something he wants and I feel it will cause a problem in the marriage and the action will make me fall short of God. He wants a twosome. I considered it at first but now I don’t want to.

    1. Moe, you are a smart woman. Please hold onto your instincts on this. I believe the Holy Spirit is letting you know that this is wrong and you will always, always regret it, from that day forward. Please listen to that prompting. Protect your own moral and spiritual beliefs and protect your marriage, even though your husband isn’t.

      This is adultery, even though you would be there and participating. The fact that you’d participate doesn’t make it any less so, and actually makes it worse. It’s like the Adam and Eve situation in reverse. He is tempted and is putting it out for you to eat of it also. Don’t bite. It didn’t go well with Adam and Eve and it won’t with you. Don’t participate in ANY sex where another person is involved with you and your husband, whether visually, in your thoughts, or physically. It is wrong. Sex with your husband is good; sex with anyone else in any way is NOT.

  6. Interesting. How do you apply some of these when a spouse admits to having a temper, or your spouse has no friends, is retired and doesn’t wish to go out any longer? In other words does not go out of his way to treat his wife like a woman? Treats her more like a coworker?

  7. All good – but you need 101: do oral sex to your husband…why do these lists miss this one which should be in the top three?