We don’t know about you, but we love to read a good love story—particularly one that is true. (Love stories are particularly on our minds with Valentine’s Day being featured this month.) And praise God, this love story is both true and inspirational! To us (and we’re sure to God), that’s the best kind!
We read about it in a book that we highly recommend you read (if it’s possible). It came out a few years ago, is written by Joni and Ken Eareckson Tada, and is titled, Joni & Ken: An Untold Love Story
We love how real and vulnerable Joni and Ken are in this book. They are our kind of people! Both of them let you know the beautiful times, as well as the difficult and even stinky times. As Dr James Dobson says,
“This really is a love story. It’s not just a story of a man and a woman who have gone through unbelievable trials and struggles together. It’s a story of your love and commitment and dedication to one another through it all.”
And it is.
We’ve been especially interested in knowing more about Joni and Ken after reading an article titled, In This Thing Together, written by Ken Tada. Joni is quadriplegic and often faces many challenges. But we love how her husband Ken stands by her with all of the trials that come their way, as a result of her paralysis.
In this love story article, Ken wrote the following:
“My wife and I aren’t marriage experts. We aren’t even experts at doing the disability thing. But we know this: suffering can either drive people apart in a marriage, or it can bind them together.
“And just as God reveals tender, intimate things when we patiently hold fast to him through our personal suffering, a marriage is tenderized when a couple patiently holds fast to God —and to each other —through hardships.
“I say this to any husband and wife going through tough times: God always reveals himself to us when we come together, needing him desperately. And when we cling to God out of need, one of the most satisfying fruits of the Holy Spirit —the fruit of patience —can’t help but take root in a marriage.”
Remembering the Inspiration
What an inspiration! We’re always looking for testimonies of those who stick it out in their marriages through the toughest of situations. This is not only to help other marriages, but because of the inspiration we gain. We try to remember them during the tough times in our own marriage.
Steve has been an insulin-dependent diabetic for most of our marriage. As a result, we’ve gone through some really, really difficult times. These types of traumatic experiences break up many marital partnerships. And we understand why because it’s tough to hang on by your fingertips sometimes.
But thanks be unto God that we have and still are “holding fast” to God and to each other. Temptation grabs hold during those times when you just want to “move on” and not deal with the tough stuff that disabilities, diseases, and hardships bring into marriage.
On this issue, we’re sharing a few quotes below that we gleaned from Joni and Ken’s book. We hope they inspire and/or help you.
One thing Joni wrote that we’ve found true is:
“We all dream dreams and know very well that they don’t always work out. Life is particularly hard on high expectations. Things hardly ever fall together the way we would have scripted them. The fact is, if we put our hope in a certain set of circumstances working out in a certain way at certain times, we’re bound to be disappointed because nothing in this life is certain.
“So what’s the solution? To give up on dreams? No, it is to realize that if we belong to God, there are even bigger dreams for our lives than our own. But in order to walk in those bigger dreams, we may face greater obstacles than we ever imagined. And we will find ourselves compelled to rely on a much more powerful and magnificent God than we ever knew before.”
Can you relate? We sure can. How thankful we are that we have learned, and are learning to draw closer to God! We have also learned to draw closer to each other during trying times. Throughout our marriage we have seen that, “Life is hard, but God is good.” You just have to lean into Him and keep leaning. And then as you look back you will be amazed at the ways God cares for us.
Learning Opportunities
Another thing that was written in Ken and Joni’s book is that life, in all its rawness, can teach us many things. We learn even though we may not like the way these learning “opportunities” are presented. Joni writes:
“If there were any lessons to be learned from the years of pain and now cancer; if there were any insights to be learned, it was this: suffering had been —and would continue to be —the thing God would use in their lives to draw them closer to Jesus. It’s to show them His power to sustain. And to shine most brightly through them. Brighter than ever before.”
In this book on the Life of Joni and Ken:
“Ken Tada thought back to the earlier days of their marriage, when ‘all he had to worry about’ was Joni’s paralysis. It reminded him of what the Lord had said to Jeremiah after the prophet had been complaining about some issues of injustice in his country. ‘So Jeremiah, if you’re worn out in this footrace with men, what makes you think you can race against horses? And if you can’t keep your wits during times of calm, what’s going to happen when troubles break loose like the Jordan in flood?‘ (Jeremiah 12:5 MSG)
“Good question! In other words, ‘If you can’t handle a few skirmishes with the enemy today, how are you going to get through all-out war?'”
That IS a good question. It’s one that we can apply to our marriages too. If we can’t handle little arguments that come up between us, if we can’t find a way to build communication bridges through “skirmishes” and minor irritations, how are you going to handle it in your marriage when the big stuff hits? We’re talking about things like the illness or death of a child or loved one. We’re talking about when a serious illness attacks one of you. Or it could be you face unemployment, loss of a home to a storm or a serious financial setback. Life happens. It’s best to work on your marriage through the lesser times so you’re better able to join together through the tough times, as well.
Using Trials that Joni and Ken Encounter
Joni wrote:
“Thirty years have passed since Ken and I began our journey together. And God has used every trial —every hurt and heartache —to entwine us far more intimately than we ever dreamed on the day we married.
“And the more devastating the trials, the more He has wrapped us both around Himself. God has used depression and chronic pain and cancer. He has used it far more than even quadriplegia —to bind us tighter than ever. To each other. To Him.
“That’s the ‘cord of three strands‘ the Bible speaks about (in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). Husband, wife, and the Lord Himself. If the man and woman twine their lives around each other in marriage, that is good; they’ll be stronger for it. But if both of them twine themselves around the living God, that’s best of all. It’s a union that will hold through anything that life —even hell —might throw at them.
“It’s a beautiful picture. But we know it isn’t true for everyone. It’s especially difficult for couples dealing with serious disability. So many of these marriages just don’t survive the test. The fact is, we live in a society that doesn’t know what to do with suffering. We do everything we can think of to escape it: we medicate it, mask it, surgically remove it, entertain or drug it, institutionalize it, divorce it, or even euthanize it —anything but live with it. Suffering, however isn’t about to go away. And marriage only magnifies it.”
She goes on to write:
“It’s trials that really press you into the breast of your Savior. It’s the cord of three strands. Realize that your enemy is not your spouse or even the disability or the bankruptcy or the disagreement or whatever it is that is troubling you. The enemy is Satan himself.
“He hates marriage, and he has hated it since the very first union in a fragrant, misty garden called Eden. This fierce adversary will do everything in his power to suffocate married love. So be alert! Keep casting yourself on Jesus Christ, steadily relying on Him, even when you don’t like it.”
Joni refers in the book to a quote by Dr Robert Mounce:
“Marriage has a way of getting better,” Dr Mounce says. “In a sense, the best life is a life that’s invested in someone else. It’s not a life invested in yourself … love is placing the welfare of another in front of your own.”
In Closing:
Here’s a video I’d love for you to watch because it seems to sum up a lot of what they talk about in the book. In this video Joni and Ken give some meaningful insights on some things they have “learned through”:
They have sure been tested with fire in so many ways. As we said before, they are a real quality couple! FYI: Here’s a link to the book on the Love Story of Joni and Ken (along with added descriptions and reviews):
Joni & Ken: An Untold Love Story
Additionally:
Here’s a link to more inspirational marriages you can read about in the article:
In your marriage:
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit!” (Romans 15:13)
Cindy and Steve Wright
— ADDITIONALLY —
To help you further, we give a lot of personal stories, humor, and more practical tips in our book, 7 ESSENTIALS to Grow Your Marriage. We hope you will pick up a copy for yourself. (It’s available both electronically and in print form.) Plus, it can make a great gift for someone else. It gives you the opportunity to help them grow their marriage. And who doesn’t need that? Just click on the linked title or the picture below:
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