The following are Web Site Links and Resource descriptions that deal with emotional infidelity issues. We pray you will find them to be helpful.

Affairrecovery.com This web site offers hope, support, and recovery for couples and individuals who have suffered the pain resulting from infidelity, betrayal, or sexual addiction. The Affair Recovery Center is a partnership of counseling professionals dedicated to the restoration of marriages crippled by infidelity. Their community includes couples who have experienced reconciliation and renewal. Some of the services they offer are: individual counseling, affair recovery groups, free resources, seminars, on-line study courses, plus subscription-only services for in-depth resources and ongoing support.

Beyondaffairs.com This is the web site for Beyond Affairs Network and Passionate Life Seminars, which was founded by Anne and Brian Bercht who are authors, Seminar Speakers, and Relationship Coaches. This web site is dedicated to helping couples and individuals heal from the devastating pain of affairs and build even greater lives together. You can also sign up at this web site for a free e-mail newsletter. As they say, “Whether you’re a betrayed spouse, the spouse who had an affair, or a friend, family member, or other professional who wants to help someone who is in the midst of an affair crisis, this newsletter will provide you with resources that can help.” They have a lot of helpful articles and information, which could greatly benefit those who visit their web site.

Hopeandhealing.us Hope & Healing is a Christian based support ministry devoted entirely to helping couples who have experienced the heartache of adultery. It is led by couples who also have experienced this heartache, are still married and are committed to being the husbands and wives God intended them to be. Hope & Healing was founded and designed to support, encourage, offer hope and provide practical strategies for couples willing to grow through this crisis in their marriage.

Marriagebuilders.com This is a great web site, featuring Dr Willard F. Harley, Jr. which has a whole section devoted to the subject of INFIDELITY and many other subjects on marriage. You will also be introduced to some of the best ways to overcome marital conflicts and some of the quickest ways to restore love. Dr. Harley has saved thousands of marriages from the pain of unresolved conflict and the disaster of divorce. His successful approach to building marriages can help you build yours. There’s even a “Discussion Forum” that you can use to ask questions.

Newlifepartners.org This is a Christian online resource and support group for women whose lives have been impacted by husbands or loved ones caught in the web of pornography and/or sexual addiction. On their web site you’ll find sharing, caring, love, hope, and prayer to help you daily walk out the Lord’s plan for your life. They’re not a counseling group. They have no paid counselors —they’re a peer support group. This means that each of the ladies within NLP is going through something similar to what you may be experiencing. The resources available to NLP members include an email discussion forum, online chats, small group forums, Bible or book study groups and an annual retreat.

RESTORE Are you wondering if there’s enough left to save in your relationship? Take the proven path to restoration after infidelity. Restore is a 10-part video series, put together by Dave Carder, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. This online video series is designed to walk you through the process of recovering from sexual betrayal and broken trust in your relationship. Through Restore, you will have the tools, clear direction, and exercises to stabilize your relationship so that you can make wise decisions that are supportive of your children and your possible future together.

 

RESOURCES:

Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome: How to Grow Affair Proof Hedges Around Your Marriage -written by Nancy Anderson, published by Kregel Publications. As some reviewers have said —which we agree, “This is wisdom born of tragic but genuine experience. Because Nancy Anderson nearly ruined her marriage due to infidelity, she truly knows the misery that an affair can cause. Her honesty, vulnerability, and repentance provide marital lessons guaranteed to revitalize and strengthen couples who are susceptible to the lure of an affair. She does a terrific job telling her compelling U-turn story of rebellion, repentance, and restoration. In the second part of the book, she gives helpful suggestions and funny examples that demonstrate how to create a healthy and satisfying marriage. She has a delightful way of teaching without preaching.” This really is a very good book for every Christian couple to read! We highly recommend it. Author Nancy Anderson and her husband, Ron, speak nationally to couples’ groups of all denominations. They share their message of hope and restoration with tenderness and humor.

Because I Said Forever: Embracing Hope in an Imperfect Marriage -written by Deb Kalmbach and Heather Kopp, published by Multnomah Publishers. This book is one of my (Cindy’s) favorite books on the subject of marriage addressed specifically to women. It’s a compilation of true testimonies on various subjects of marriage lived out by different women who have and are living through some really tough situations and yet God has helped them to live victoriously despite the difficulties. The authors have done an excellent job of “applying biblical principles to the challenging issues involved in a difficult marriage.” Women who read this book will “understand how doing things God’s way brings fulfillment and peace, regardless of the circumstances.” Too often divorce becomes the prime option considered when marriage becomes really tough. The great thing about this book is it gives the readers some different biblically based options to consider.

The reflections you read here will affirm your decision to stay in your marriage. But they will also offer you encouragement and help for moving beyond simply enduring a bad marriage. You’ll discover that it is possible to be personally fulfilled even if your marriage is not fulfilling. It is possible to discover joy, to find the support you need, to thrive in your spiritual life and Christian walk, and to turn your challenges into opportunities for personal and spiritual growth.”

• Close Calls: What Adulterers Want You to Know About Protecting Your Marriage -Written by Dave Carder, published by Northfield Publishing. In this book, Dave Carder, counselor, author of the bestselling Torn Asunder, and a sought-after expert on issues of adultery, includes eye-opening stories, clinical insights, and up-to-date data. He reveals what adulterers learned the hard way —and wants the rest of us to know. For example, every spouse has a “Dangerous Partner Profile” of the kind of person who tempts them. Close Calls should be on every church leader’s and marriage counselor’s required reading list.

Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It -written by Jerry Jenkins, published by Moody Press. There’s so much that needs to be said on this subject that Jerry says very well. We can’t emphasize enough the importance of taking this subject seriously. This newer edition (previously published under the title of “Hedges”) also comes complete with a Study Guide, which will make the lessons personal. They’re designed for your own reflection or to talk them over with your spouse to help you to work through the different areas of your life that will need protective hedges put into place. We HIGHLY recommend this book to every married couple!

The Divorce Remedy: The Proven 7-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage -written by Michele Weiner Davis, published by Simon & Schuster. Although this book does not come from a “Christian” perspective, most of the principles presented are very solid. She teaches you how to identify specific marriage-saving goals, move beyond ineffective, hurtful ways of interacting, and become an expert on “doing what works.” Inspirational anecdotes and in-depth case studies show how couples have used these techniques to save their marriages, and how you can use these same techniques to rescue yours. The author also offers solution-oriented strategies for readers to cope with infidelity, and midlife crises. And if you think you partner already has a foot out the door, this proven program is a recipe for change, even if only you participate. (NOTE: While we agree with about 95% of what this book presents, we do disagree with some of Michelle’s advice to couples who face an Internet Pornography problem. But, even so, we recommend this book to couples because the rest of the advice is very helpful.)

Too Close to the Flame -written by Dr Gregg Jantz with Ann McMurray, published by Howard Publishing Company. In this book, Dr. Jantz bases each section on specific case studies and offers guidance in identifying sexual manipulators and climbers, spotting danger signals in friendships about to turn sexual, protecting family members from relatives or acquaintances who are sexual predators, knowing how to avoid sexual traps when advising church members, avoiding sexual pitfalls in professional and pastoral counseling, and more.

Torn Asunder: Recovering From an Extramarital Affair -written by Dave Carder, Moody Publishers. This book is very comprehensive and is a great practical guide for dealing with extramarital affairs. It’s very comprehensive because it carefully sorts out the different kinds of affairs and deals with each kind—giving very practical and insightful information. It doesn’t lump all infidelity together “giving over-simplistic spiritual answers.” It’s practical because “it deals with daily, gut-level issues both partners face.” We highly recommend getting this book! There are a couple of parts that especially stand out and set it apart from other resources. One in particular which is EXCELLENT is titled: “When Your Spouse Doesn’t Want You Back: The 90-Day Experiment.” We were surprised by some of the questions and what can set people up to have an affair. It might help you too. This book is filled with many other great insights also!

Unfaithful: Hope and Healing After Infidelity -written by Gary and Mona Shriver, published by David C Cook. This is an absolutely terrific book! We can’t recommend this book highly enough! It’s written by a couple who have been through this horrible experience themselves. “More than ten years ago, Gary Shriver shocked his wife Mona, with a confession of his three year affair —as well as a one-night stand.” It devastated their marriage! After Gary’s confession they struggled to keep their marriage together with all the strength they could muster and the Lord’s very real help! What we appreciate about this book is how totally honest they are in their writings and how transparent they allow themselves to become as they diary the gut-wrenching struggle —each giving their own perspective during the healing process. This book is a great road map to follow to recovery! We wish every couple that goes through this terrible experience could read this book because it’s packed with so much that could help them.