Marriage Missions International

Seeking More





Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.
From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint.
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

(Psalm 61:2)


Perhaps God is tugging on your heart
— trying to help you know that YOU NEED HIM.

Below we provide several links to web sites
that could help you as you reach out to GOD:




COMING HOME: An Invitation to Join God’s Family


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15 Responses to “Seeking More”
  1. Kellie from United States says:

    I’ve had to affairs on my husband within the 6 years of our marriage. I’ve lied to him in embarrassment or to add more details to hurt him at the time. I want to make things right, save my marriage and be the wife of his dreams. I also have done things in my affairs that I haven’t done with him. Please help as I want my marriage to survive

  2. Rose from United States says:

    I realize this is a religious forum and that my situation may be looked down upon. Basically, my boyfriend and I moved in together after dating 4 mos and knowing each for 20 yrs. We have not lived together for 6 mos. His brother is married to my sister. There was no romance between us, just knowing each other through our siblings marriage.

    He was married the past 20 yrs to an incredibly physically and emotionally abusive woman. I have spent the past ten years raising my daughter who is now grown and on her own with two children. For the past decade, I have been living a celibate lifestyle also not dating much just waiting for the right person. I thought he was the right person.

    I am not sure if my expectations of our relationship are reasonable or not. I feel like I come last, after his kids, after his time spent trying to start a business, I feel like an afterthought. We haven’t had sex since Sept 23 and he isn’t interested at all. Says his ‘stuff’ just doesn’t work. I am 45 he is 42. We are both overweight. He is diabetic and has sleep apnea.

    We had goals we talked about when we got together such as taking small trips alone, he was romantic, I felt like I mattered. All romance stopped the month he moved in, I can’t pinpoint why. He says he feels like a half a man since he experiences severe impotence.

    However, with everything else in which I feel last, the lack of sex just makes me feel so unfulfilled as a partner -I feel dead inside. I could easily be single and deal with less heartbreak. As it is now, daily I am overwhelmed with wondering how I can live like this?

    He has MANY good qualities. But, they seem to not be enough. He wants to live separately now, have our money separate, finish raising his 16 year old daughter that demands incessant attention, be able to ‘become a whole person”, finish his divorce, all with me hanging on or just going back to dating. He thinks nothing of this.

    I feel I don’t get much from the relationship. I don’t get any intimacy, I don’t get any financial benefits of being a couple, I don’t get included much in decisions (he just makes them and tells me about them later), I feel I live in the shadow of his ex-wife, I get to be a step mom and cart his daughter around yet… I don’t feel I am part of a couple that has any unified goals. I feel I get all the grunt work of being a couple but none of the rewards.

    My expectations of a relationship are to make decisions together, with the relationship a priority. I feel we have financial goals and things to work towards. He feels I’m too black and white, that I should be ok just sitting on the sidelines. That’s what I consider it. I am so confused, I feel I am in limbo.

    Is it wrong to want shared decision making, an intimate relationship, and to feel like I matter? I don’t know… I’m rambling and so frustrated that I feel I have not set forth any real examples to get any type of reasonable advice. :(

    • Cindy Wright from United States says:

      Rose, I have to say that normally, we don’t post or reply to comments left on this web site, which deal with trying to help those who are living together outside of marriage. We’re called to help marriages, not living together. But as I read your comment, I felt a tug on my heart to reply to you. I feel a warmth of love and compassion for you.

      Between the lines of what you wrote, I perceive that you are a loving, generous person who has turned a very unhealthy corner in her life. I also know that God loves you very much. I sense that so deeply that He has been trying to get your attention, to turn your eyes and heart towards Him. I’m so sad for you that you have taken this path. Even though I understand how it can happen to fall in love with someone you shouldn’t, it doesn’t mean that you should live your life feeding it. This man was never yours to give your love to. Whether his wife has been doing all kinds of things she shouldn’t in their marriage, she has been his wife for all these years. He is married, whether he wants to acknowledge it or not and whether he has regrets in marrying her or not.

      No matter what, we are not to allow ourselves to believe the lie that because we hurt so badly (as he may have felt), solutions to cheat and do that which we should not, are acceptable. They are not. Reacting out in wrong behavior to wrong behavior does not make it right. And even in your compassion for him, by connecting with him as you did only complicates both of your lives all the more, and puts your life path in an unhealthy direction.

      You ask if it is “wrong to want shared decision making, an intimate relationship, and to feel” you matter to this man, who you have given your all to. Those feelings and desires are not wrong within marriage, but outside of marriage, when you are in a live-in situation, they are misplaced. You have no “rights” because both of you never made the sacred vow promising each other in marriage that you would give of yourselves to each other in that way. You couldn’t, because he is already married. He made those vows to his wife. You say that he seems to think you “should be ok just sitting on the sidelines.” Rose, I want to say this as nicely as I can… but when you took on the role of being his sideline partner, that’s the slot you allowed yourself to slip into.

      So, what do you do now? I realize that what I am about to say is easier to write than to live out, but what CAN you do? You really don’t have much of a choice but to pull back, give him space to raise his daughter (as he should –she is a minor) and HOPEFULLY change his priorities to ones that reflect integrity, and good character. I pray for him too, along with you. I have no doubt that this will break your heart and this would be the most difficult thing you could ever do, but it’s also one that will eventually help you to live a life of integrity and honesty, as well. Please be careful to guard your heart in the future. When you give it to someone who doesn’t cherish it and entangle it with someone who isn’t yours to have, the tearing apart is all the more painful. Whether this man has “MANY good qualities” …they are not qualities that are yours to live with.

      I truly am sorry to write this, Rose. I want to write to you something completely different. But I know that what I would want to write ISN’T right. You have walked into a toxic situation and as difficult as it would be to break away because your heart is so entangled, it’s the healthiest thing to do –one that will put you on a better path, for future happiness. I pray the Lord will help you and make Himself very real to you, guiding you to live your life in integrity. I also pray God also shows you that you will eventually experience better days –ones that will bring a smile to your heart.

  3. ANNETJIE from South Africa says:

    I am not commenting on anything but need help to understand the situation I am finding myself in. I am married to a man much younger than me. Our relationship is almost 20 years old. We have been living in flats and finally God has given me a little house that I moved in 3 mnths ago. For a while I had this funny feeling that things were falling apart. Our relationship was ok in the sense of intimacy but lately it is worlds apart. Everything I do in the new place, which was a bit of a trainsmash as the house was neglected and needed a lot of TLC, (money is not freely available) as my husband was off sick on IOD and was booked off about 3 months.

    I don’t know if he is involved with someone else because our intimacy is non existent. He belittles and degrades me in the form of hurtful words. You are useless, I cannot stand you, you can’t do anything. He has no children with me so, therefore I am worthless to him.etc. I am working and earning an ok salary. I am scarred of the thought of being alone and him leaving the marital home. I am now 56 and he is 46. My thoughts are how can I cope on my own.

    My son lives with us, age 33. He’s very supportive to me. My emotions take over my existance of feeling worthless and his understanding does not help. I do not want to burden him with the idea of a mother that cannot support herself and being mentally unable to cope with being on my own. My world falls apart. About three weeks ago he left the house in the night and went and slept in his car at work, which is a way of punishing me as he knows emotionally I cannot cope. I need guidance in being strong. Many women deal with worst situations than me and cope so well and I cannot seem to deal with this situation.

  4. GEORGE from Papua New Guinea says:

    My wife had sex three times with her cousin’s brother 4 years ago. She had sex with her. Shool maye one and got married twice. I’m her third husband. I can’t forgive her for the cousin’s brother. When she is angry she tells me she will have sex elsewhere. Is it possible for her to have sex with someone out of her anger?

    • Cindy Wright from United States says:

      Of course it’s “POSSIBLE for her to have sex with someone out of her anger.” But SHOULD she? No. No… for SO many reasons. When she married you, she made promises… if she has so little character and moral value to keep herself true to you, whether she’s angry or not, then she has some real problems (and now so do you). To try to soothe or solve her anger by resorting to giving her body to someone who is not her husband shows a real lack of integrity, commitment to you, and commitment to the sanctity of marriage. George… you have a real problem. It’s no wonder why you are her third husband. She obviously doesn’t know what commitment is. Why make promises of marriage if you’re not going to stay true to them?

      You both need to do some serious talking. Is she going to work with you over her anger problems or is she going to make a mockery of your marriage when she’s mad? She needs to learn how to handle these problems better (and there ARE ways), otherwise, you will never be able to trust her. This is NOT the way to resolve problems… just to make more. I hope she will and I hope you will both work together to be a marriage team, not as two single people. I pray for you both.

  5. Susan from United States says:

    Asking that you will pray for me and my husband. My marriage has been an emotional separation since 2008. I need God’s help to bring him and my son back home to the U.S.A. Please keep my family in prayer.

  6. Ginda from Namibia says:

    I am a women who was dating a man for 7 years and we married later after 5 years. In marriage, we got a baby boy. The problem started when he was cheating on me with other girls. When my baby was 6 months I got next pregnant. I had a baby girl. When my baby was 4 months, he divorced me. Now it is 5 years as the divorce stands up. Now, he is asking for forgiveness when he is still with his girlfriend. But how, I can’t understand. Please, my heart is open (the Lord said to forgive them 7X70). But how? I talk to him to stop other the relationship. He says no way, first I have to go back home and then everything will be STOP. Is it true, please? Please tell me.

  7. Lisbet from Denmark says:

    Ten months ago, I found out that my husband of 25 years, has been unfaithful to me. Due some curcumstances in life, we are not able to live together. He lives in the USA and I live in Europe -not because we wanted to, but at the moment we do not have other options.

    I am going through all stages of emotions and sometimes I feel very bad about my reactions toward my husband and the affair he had. He says it is over, that he knew he was going the wrong path and that he is relieved, that I found out of it and he could put a stop into it.

    I want to belive him so badly because I still love him,- but it is so hard. Last time we talked, I asked him if he would swear not to let this happen again and his answer was, “I don’t want to swear. I’m human and if some nice lady comes around, you don’t know what can happen. You don’t know what tomorrow might bring”.

    This answer, blew me off the ground and I let him know that, to which he answered, that it was just a way of speaking. I have always taken our marriage very serious. I am nor perfect, my husband has stood by me in dark times of my life and I do believe strongly in “to be with each other in good and bad for the rest of our lives.” But with this last answer of his, I don’t know what to do?

  8. Strongwind from United States says:

    I read a lot of your blogs on betrayal and the sadness that follows. I would have never believed that my husband of 12 years and together for 15, would betray me and leave with the person he betrayed me with.

    It’s been nearly 2 1/2 years and I’m still devastated and shocked. I wake up in the morning and realize that he’s gone and we will not wake up in the same bed again. I’m financially destroyed and my whole life has turned upside down and inside out. Everything has changed.

    I’m so angry and sad that I don’t think I can ever be happy again after this blow because my view on love and life has changed. I question everything and lost trust in my ability to discern. This is the worst pain I’ve ever felt. Being without him feels as if half of me has been ripped me in half.

    What makes it worse is the betrayal. If he were dead I could still could have had fond memories of him and believed in his love for me… That in itself would have been empowering but the betrayal makes everything we had together feel like a big lie and an illusion. I died after his betrayal because I’ll never be the same person I was.

    I pray every day and cry out to God to take this unbearable pain away. Will it ever end… and can I ever find true joy and love again?

  9. Flexxy from Nigeria says:

    In the first year of our marriage, I realized my husband took a trip to spend time with one of his ex girlfriends in another country, which when I found out I was terribly bitter about and confronted him because it should have been our first Valentine’s Day together as a married couple.

    When I confronted him I was in tears because I was deeply pained. He admitted it but didn’t go into detail like I wanted him to. From that moment on, I had a huge form of bitterness deeply locked up in me, which made me overreact to everything. I also got suspicious of his every move. After this time, I realized this attitude would get me nothing but more pain, so I decided to have a talk with him. Afterward he apologized and I noticed positive changes.

    One day I found condoms in his things and realized he had being cheating on me. This got me so mad I decided to turn to pornographic sites. I know this is not right and I need help to get out this please! I ask God to forgive me but I see myself slipping back into it once I am away from home. Please help me!!! Things are better between us now but I still struggle with trusting him. Kindly give counsel on this. Thank you.

  10. Alicia from South Africa says:

    We have been married for three years, we have been fighting ever since. Family -especially parents – are too involved in our marriage. I want us to love one another, protect one another and respect one another.

  11. Clover from United States says:

    My daughter’s been married for 9 years. She is 29 today; her husband is 31 years old. He has had numerous affairs, and got a woman pregnant. The woman keeps calling his phone and sending him pics of her intimate parts. I think my daughter may be going through a depression. I have to get her some help!

  12. Jennifer from United States says:

    My husband confessed prior to our marriage that he had molested his step-sister. He stated that his biological brother had molested him, and in turn molested the biological daughter of his and his brother’s adoptive parents. When I spoke to a therapist I was told he was doing what he was taught and not to be worried about my own daughter.

    Last night my husband confessed that he had had inappropriate thoughts about my daughter but dismissed them. He said that is why he has been so distant with her lately. In addition he confessed that he fantasizes about his sister while we are having sex. My husband is paranoid schizophrenic with confusion tendancies. I am worried that he is going to act on his thoughts with my daughter and do not know what to do.

    • Kelsie from United States says:

      Jennifer, you have to protect your daughter. You have to. Either have him check into some sort of mental rehabilitation clinics. Call your church. Have them come pray. He might not always have the strength to stay away. He told you this, in my opinion he’s screaming for help. He knows he can’t keep away and he needs you to get her away from him…
      What would you do if he did molest your daughter? That could ruin her little life. That would break her.

      I was molested, no one heard my cries. You have to be in her corner. First. Make sure she is safe. Then work on your marriage and help him. But you need to make sure she is in a safe place and only has supervised visitation. If it was me, I would leave with her. He needs help, hun.

      I’m praying for you all. I don’t believe in divorce. But, I do believe that we have to protect our children. I’m sure there are Christian therapist’s out there that can help him.

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