Marriage Missions International

A Devotional Study For a Married Couple

Showing Mutual Respect

Husbands, in the same way be considerate a you live with your wives, and treat them with respect a the weaker partner. (1 Peter 3:7)

And the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:33)

A man told me recently that he rarely cusses. When he does cuss, it’s only in front of his wife.

A woman speaks with courteous hospitality to her boss when he calls her at home. When she hangs up, however, a fusillade of angry criticisms pours forth for the extra work he wants done.

In marriage we can find the most relaxed relationship on earth. We feel a comfortableness with our spouse like no other—an altogether wonderful state. Unless we guard ourselves, though, we can wound the spirit of our mate. As the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt.” We must strive to show each other respect.

There are two problems for the man who cusses around his wife but no one else. First, the quality of our character is most revealed in little things, not big things. Christianity finds its truest test in traffic, when the car breaks down, when an appointment suddenly cancels at the last moment, and in the confines of marriage. Our spouses will decide if Christianity is true for us based upon how we live when we think they don’t notice.

We may think of ourselves as altogether righteous. We think, If I can’t let off a little steam with my mate, where can I? The problem is the report the other spouse would have to give. How we are behind the tightly drawn curtains of our own private castle is how we really are. By taking his wife for granted, the “cussing husband” has shown a lack of respect for his wife and damaged his Christian testimony with the very person for whom he has the most responsibility.

The second problem for this husband is that there must be nothing in his behavior to make the wife stumble in her faith. Another example will further illustrate. A friend was to play in a golf tournament for his company. The sponsor, however, had hired the scantily clad waitresses from a local bar to act as hostesses. His wife was deeply disturbed and didn’t want him to play. This man cannot simply ignore her concerns and tell her, “I have to play. It’s business.” He must treat her with considerations and respect as the partner God has given him.

In this case, they had a wonderful opportunity to study the Scriptures together to determine their mutual responsibilities and, also, to build more trust into the relationship. To do less is to take each other for granted and fail to show mutual respect. Incidentally, he decided not to play after all.

The husband and wife are to respect each other, not take each other for granted. The respect she renders is like awe or reverence (not, of course, in the same sense as she would revere God). The respect he renders is esteem of the highest degree, dignity, and honor.

Marriage magnifies imperfections. In the intimate space of marriage we must be alert to represent our Lord to each other. Marriage is the most important place to live for Christ. We must do nothing to make each other stumble. We must not assume our spouses understand where we’re coming from when others raise our ire. Don’t take each other for granted.

DISCUSSION: Both answer: Do you act “un-Christ-like” around your spouse? In what ways? Why do you think it happens?

APPLICATION: Talk out the areas in which you take each other for granted. Commit to be more self-aware and to live like Christ before your mate, not just your acquaintances.

PRAYER: Either or both, as applicable:

Lord Jesus, I confess that I have lived an overly casual life before my mate. I have mistakenly thought that behaving in a Christ-like manner wasn’t as important in my marriage as in other places. I can see that I was wrong. Help me to live with integrity before my mate. Amen.


The above devotional thoughts came from the book, Devotions for Couples- Man in the Mirror Edition: For Busy Couples Who Want More Intimacy in Their Relationships -written by Patrick Morley. Patrick Morley is a business leader, speaker, and the best selling author of 12 books, including The Man in the Mirror. He lives in Orlando, Florida. This book was published in by Zondervan Publishing House.

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Comments

22 Responses to “A Devotional Study For a Married Couple”
  1. Linda says:

    (USA)  My husband and I are looking for a good couples devotional and he sent me this link. It looks really great. We are going to order it and do it together. We have been married 29 years and it just keeps getting better. Thanks for giving us a good discussion starter.

  2. Festo says:

    (UGANDA)  Someone once said, “it’s always the small things that matter in a relationship. Not the big ones.”

  3. Ashley says:

    (UNITED STATES)  Kesha… I’m assuming she bought the devotional that this article was taken from: Devotions for Couples- Man in the Mirror Edition: For Busy Couples Who Want More Intimacy in Their Relationships -by Patrick Morley Sounds very good! I think I’m going to purchase it too :)

  4. Michael says:

    (USA)  My wife and I are having marital difficulties. After 2 years of marriage and a baby we find we hate each other. Is there any advice other couples have that may benifit us and help us get back on track?

    • Shellon says:

      (GUYANA)  Hi Michael, First, I would like to say one thing to you: “Love conquers all things!” Second, have you ever heard of the movie ‘Fireproof’? If you haven’t, please go out and buy it and watch it.

      Last, and most important, fall on your knees and cry out to Jesus for help, then listen and be obedient to what He tells you. He -Jesus- is able to do all things for you.. just go to Him.. I promise you, He wouldn’t fail you EVER!!! God loves marriages-united, and satan loves separation-divorce. God bless you Michael!! Peace be with you and your wife.. in Jesus name.

    • Tony says:

      (USA)  My wife and I have had trouble the second year of both of our kids. Just seems like kids take all your strength and energy during that second year. I would suggest sitting together each night for a short devotional.

      I would also suggest a ‘date night’ if you can arrange it. Find family or friends to leave the kid with and spend some time together.

      Lastly, talk to each other. Many times little issues have stack upon each other to seem larger than they are… and many times those issues are actually misinterpreted by the spouse. Sit and open up to each other without accusing and pointing fingers at each other. One way I’ve seen is “I” statements. I feel _______ when you __________.

    • Theresa says:

      (UNITED STATES) I hope that you and your wife have been seeking each others’ counsel and worked things out. If you haven’t, I’m here to talk if you need it. I know how difficult this is. My mate and I went through something similar, and we found that we had simply stopped caring about the intimacy between us, so we stopped caring about each other. We had stopped being 100% blunt about how we felt about little things. It really is the little things that cause damage.

    • Kieran says:

      (AUSTRALIA) Hi mate. If this is still an issue see a good Christian counsellor.

    • Lisa from United States says:

      Well, I think it is extremely important to discuss what are your marital difficulties. Have a plan of action on how the two of you will address them, but I think you should find a good Christian counselor who can help the two of you sort of what is the source(s) of your marital difficulties are coming from. I also think it would be wise to pray to God for guidance before you make any decisions regarding your marriage to one another.

  5. Gloria says:

    (NIGERIA)  Thanks Marriage Missions, your devotional has been a blessing.

  6. Erin says:

    (USA)  My husband and I did “Devotions for Couples” before we were married. It helped our relationship so much! He is currently away for another 2 months, so we are going to get another copy so we can do it all over again over the phone and skype. It is an amazing devotional and highly recommend it.

    • Theresa says:

      (UNITED STATES) We do this as well. We recognize that pre-marriage isn’t too early to start getting into habits that keep us talking to each other about things that matter. The devotional Bibles have saved us. We have the Couples’, the Men’s, and the Women’s.

  7. Sharon says:

    (USA)  My question is in regards to getting the total intimacy back. We’ve been married for 37 years come Nov 27th.

    Its been months since we have had sex, and I truly do not know how to even begin that process again! It’s like we have no physical attraction anymore. I’d appreciate any simple and logical suggestions!

  8. Deborah says:

    (USA)  This website has been a blessing to my marriage, thank you all for the love of Christ that you pour out and into others!!!!

  9. SYBILINE says:

    (BAHAMAS)  My husband an I are having difficulties in our marriage. He’s caught up in adultery. It breaks my heart to know this but he told me he doesn’t love me any more. I love my husband so much. I have never cheated on him. Please pray for me.

    • Lisa from United States says:

      First of all, I am truly sorry for what you are going through at this time in your life. Also, I will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. I would like to share a Bible scripture with you: “Cast your cares upon the Lord and he will sustain you.” Keep the faith in God and put your trust in him who knew you before you were born. God loves you. You are a child of God!

  10. LaBoard says:

    (USA)  Fireproof the movie is a great suggestion to rekindle the relationship/marriage. I always suggest self evaluation before addressing a spouse about a matter that can be seen as being selfish. Always bring a possible solution to the table. Be blessed

  11. T.gangte says:

    (INDIA)  Yes I believe in God.

  12. Solabomi says:

    (NIGERIA) I would love to be part of this.

  13. Joe says:

    (USA) R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Respect for each other yes, but a MUTUAL respect and love for the Lord will serve as a steering wheel for your relationship. Starting the day with a short devotional or even taking each other by the hands and praying for each other is a tremendous launching pad for an awesome day for your marriage. Seeing each other through the eyes of the Lord is a sure remedy to see the value of each other. The results will be a serving spirit that will reap blessings and marital fulfillment.

Marriage Missions International