Marriage Missions International

Doing Nothing Does Something Sometimes

-Cindy Wright –January 4, 2011

Does that title (which is a statement) make sense? Normally, I would say no, but sometimes, whether it makes sense or not, it works.

I’m not into the “ostrich syndrome” (of sticking one’s head in the sand and ignoring that which needs tending to) very often. I struggle, like many of you, to do something or not, or “to say something or not —because THAT is the important question.”

But I’ve learned that sometimes doing something or saying something actually does more harm than leaving the matter entirely alone —choosing your battles, as it’s recommended.

As we’re beginning a new year, which can be a time for new beginnings, many people have made resolutions to do this or do that, as it pertains to their marriages. But perhaps, just perhaps, some of them/us should step back and consider what we shouldn’t be doing.

The following is a link to an article, written by Michele Weiner Davis, in which she explains this point better than I can (and apparently has some experience with it). Please read what she writes, because there are times, as she emphasizes, that it’s best to “Do Nothing.”

O.K. After reading the points Michele makes, I guess it makes sense. Sometimes, what works doesn’t always make sense, like, “losing your life so you can save it.” (Matthew 10:39) …Like NOT working to gain salvation, which makes no sense to human beings, but it does to God, who after all, IS God (Ephesians 2:8-9). And of course, we are not (even though we can often act like it).

Less profound is Michele’s point, however, sometimes less is more because in the absence of your not doing something to resolve matters, there is a void left in its place. This gives others the opportunity to step up and do what they should be doing, instead. It gives way for the principle of, “they broke it; they should fix it,” to work.

It doesn’t always work, as it should. But we sure can’t discredit the fact that there are times when it does. And when it does, it works out a LOT better than it would have if we interfered.

It also allows the “Duck Principle” to be put into effect. If you “duck” and get out of the way (and instead pray), it gives God direct access to work within your spouse and the issue at hand.

I’ve tried it. It works. Go figure, that I’m not the appointed messenger all the time! And my husband and the world can now say, “Thank you Lord!”

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Comments

One Response to “Doing Nothing Does Something Sometimes”
  1. Quiana says:

    (USA)  This is wonderful advice. We should take heed to Psalm 46:10. Be still and know I am God. I will be exalted. God can be glorified in our stillness when we trust and obey Him. “Be still my soul; the Lord is on thy side.” Is 30:15 says “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.” All throughout the scripture we are being invited to rest to a place of child like faith, for such is the kingdom.

    We all love to serve God as followers of Christ but sometimes we need to do as Mary and sit and sup. She chose the one thing that was needed, the better thing, the thing that won’t be taken way from her. Balance and boundaries helps us walk in discernment and spiritual maturity. Your car will not move with out refills at the gas station. God loves us too much to allow us to think we can continue to move in the things of God, in the name of God, with out a refill of faith in the need for God to do the things. Sometimes the thing to do is nothing.

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