They talk a lot about using “protection” when you have sexual relations with someone (other than your spouse). But as someone (unknown) once said,
“There is no condom for the brain or the heart. So when you have sex before marriage you’re playing with fire that will most likely burn you at some point in your life… especially in your marriage relationship.”
And tragically a lot of couples are finding this to be true. How do you erase the memories you have of having sex with someone else and stop playing “the comparison game” when you are making love with your spouse? And how do you deal with the guilt when you realize that you have violated God’s standards?
When you confess and ask the Lord for forgiveness, “God is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness,“ but then there’s the matter of forgiving yourself and moving on in life past it. Premarital sex is sin and sin causes problems.
As Brian and Heather Jamison said,
“Premarital sex wounds the sanctity of a heart and, left untreated, can scar a marriage for a lifetime. We speak from experience; our relationship began with a fall. And we have the scars to prove it.”
To gain insight from what Brian and Heather have learned that helped them to deal with this issue, plus the “Four Keys to Reclaiming Intimacy” that the Jamison’s pass along, please read:
“True, you can’t get your virginity back —you’ll never be the person you once were. You can, however, be stronger and wiser than you were before – and more able to resist what you know is wrong.”
The above statement came from Laurel L Cornell, who knows only too well, how a person can be haunted with memories and thoughts after having had sex before marriage. But as she says, you can become wiser than before, and stronger than you probably ever could imagine at this time.
She wrote an article that is posted on the Growthtrac.com web site that addresses those who are married and those who are not yet married —to women who want to feel clean again and not plagued by feelings and images of the past they want to forget. We encourage you to read:
Below is a link to a related article written by Christie Mohamed, posted on her blog web site, Beauty Through Ashes. She is a young gal who gives hope to those who have done things they regret now regret, and insight into a good way to deal with it and experience freedom and forgiveness. Please read:
I know this is a lot to take in, as far as all of the reading I’m recommending you do, but please know that this is a journey you are on —one that is different for everyone who has had to deal with this issue. I’m hoping that as you read you will glean from each article some things that God is speaking to you —that you will gain some “ah hah moments” where you’ll think, “I never thought of that before… that really helps.”
So, on this journey there is another article that Sheila Wray Gregoire wrote that I believe you will find helpful. She brings in some scriptures that you may not have thought of before and how they pertain to your situation. The important thing is that you don’t get stuck in sin —continuing to do that, which you know is wrong. And also that you don’t get stuck in regrets. They will paralyze you in ways that will cause you NOT to grow but go backwards in your spiritual growth.
To learn a bit more on this please read:
For those of you who are not married, here is something written by Dr Greg and Michael Smalley that is posted on the Growthtrac.com web site that you may find helpful to read:
This article is written by Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International.
If you have additional tips you can share to help others in this area of marriage, or you want to share request for prayer and/or ask others for advice, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.