Marriage Missions International

I Am Standing For The Healing Of My Marriage!


I will not give up, give in,
give out, nor give over
’til the healing takes place.

I made a vow; I said the words; I gave the pledge.
I gave a ring; I took a ring; I gave myself.

I trusted GOD, and said the words, and meant the words:
in sickness and in health,
in sorrow and in joy,
for better or for worse,
for richer or for poorer,
in good times and in bad…

I will NOT sit down, let down, slow down,
calm down, fall down, look down nor be down

I refuse to put my eyes on outward circumstances,
or listen to prophets of doom.

I will not buy into what is trendy, worldly, popular,
convenient, easy, quick,
thrifty, or advantageous.
Nor will I settle for a cheap imitation of God’s real thing.

I will not seek to lower God’s standard,
twist God’s will, rewrite God’s word,
violate God’s covenant,
or accept what God hates—which is namely… divorce!

In a world of filth, I will stay pure.
Even though surrounded by lies I will speak the truth.
Where hopelessness abounds,
I will hope in GOD.

Where revenge is easier, I will bless instead of curse;
and where the odds are stacked against me,
I will trust in God’s faithfulness.

and I will not acquiesce, compromise, quarrel or quit…
I have made the choice.

I have set my face, entered the race, believed the Word,
and TRUSTED GOD for the outcome.

I will allow neither the reaction of my spouse,
nor the urging of my friends,
the advice of my loved ones,
economic hardship,
nor the prompting of the devil
to make me let up, slow up, blow up, or give up


The above poem is featured on the Home page of the web site This web site, and their entire ministry, is designed to encourage and give hope to those who are standing in the gap believing God for a miracle in their marriages. They supply its reader’s more than 18 pages of testimonies of restored marriages and over 72 pages where you’re able to read individual letters of praise to God for answers to prayer and testimonies of God’s faithfulness through the various difficulties they’ve encountered in their marriages and families.

You can read the testimonies and the stories of restored marriages by clicking into them from the side bar of the Home page of their web site.

To begin that process:


If you have additional tips you can share to help others in this area of marriage, or you want to share requests for prayer and/or ask others for advice, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.


Join the Discussion!

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  • Recommendations for people to divorce will be edited out–that's a decision between them and God, not us.
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97 Responses to “I Am Standing For The Healing Of My Marriage!”
  1. Ken says:

    (USA)  My wife moved out of our home over a month ago, leaving me to care for our 3 daughters ages 4, 5 & 8. Our 9 year marriage has been very cold lately and the trigger that brought the separation was her confession of her attraction to a fellow Church member who happens to be a friend of mine. Our marriage suffered mainly due to my unforgiving spirit and subsequent periods of rejection that she endured in my hand.

    We all miss her, and more so me, having never realized how much I love her. When she confided in me about her attraction, I was furious and threatened to ask the man she supposedly was attracted to. I did eventually contact the guy and wisely grilled him whether he was aware of something between him and my wife, but sure enough, he was clueless about any such feelings from my wife. Now, I have been believing God to enable any kind of dialogue that may open a door for reconciliation but so far-nothing… not even a phone call to the kids! I hate separation.

  2. Jeff says:

    (USA)  I have been separated from my wife for almost 4 weeks now (married 8 1/2 years). She does not feel for me as a husband now and said the only hope that our marriage would be saved was God (we are both Christians). I use both the Stander’s Affirmation and P.U.S.H. as well as places like this website and Rejoice Marriage Ministries to keep me going in my stand. I pray, read scripture, listen to Christian music, and enlist others to pray for me and my wife. No matter what anyone says, I will stand and of course P.U.S.H. until my marriage is saved. God will do the work and move the mountains!

    • Daddy L says:

      (USA)  If your relationship partner says you are not worthy… agree with them and show them the door. What you are about to undertake will completely strip the self worth from you and change your life for the worst. Good luck on it and I wish you the best.

  3. Stephen says:

    (AUSTRALIA)  I am glad I came across this website because I am also standing for the restoration of my marriage and have been looking for ways to help myself and have my wife return to me after leaving me for another married man. At this point in my life I wish to rely on GOD for his assistance and the prayers of others. I loved the prayer “I am standing for the healing of my marriage” and will now use it.

    My wife is a Pacific islander and we lived in her country between 2000 and 2009. She was born there and we have 3 daughters aged 8, 6 and 4 who were born in a neighbouring country. My wife and I married in her country’s registry and then also had our marriage blessed by our church. In 2008 my wife went overseas to study and within 4 months moved in with a man from her country who was married with a wife and 3 kids of his own. The relationship was found out and both my wife and her lover returned to their respective households.

    In April 2009 my wife eloped with this man. As I wanted to save our marriage in August 2009, I left with my children and settled in New Zealand. My wife came back to our family in October 2009 but she left me and the kids again and went back to her home country in January 2010. She involved herself again with this married man and from January 2010 to December 2010 she has been living with him. She sent her wedding rings back to me in June 2010. I understand now she has no intention of coming back and wants our 3 young daughters who have been quite distraught, to accept what she is doing and made the comment that “this is what they will face when they are older.” My kids and I now live in Australia while my wife continues to live in the Pacific with this other married man.

    It took me a long time to realise it but I did have problems which I now face up to. I learned to forgive myself as I knew (having received the Holy Spirit this year) that GOD had forgiven me too and in my heart I have forgiven my wife and this man. Even though they both probably curse me, I bless them. I have made some amazing changes in my life and am still doing so. I have put behind me my own selfish ways and am a truly wonderful and loving father to my 3 children. I am no longer setting poor examples for them. I am a changed man and I wish there was a way my wife could see this. It is difficult because we no longer have contact with each other and she has scales on her eyes.

    I could rave on for hours but I just wanted to find out what other prayers might be out there that I could recite to help my situation. GOD knows my heart and knows I am hurting and I have changed. HE knows my kids are hurting terribly too by the separation. I could easily throw in the towel and things may get worse as my wife may divorce me and marry this other man after he has filed for divorce.

    I believe with GOD everything is possible and ask that those that read this could pray that the scales be removed from my wife’s eyes so she sees the truth about Jesus Christ. Pray that her heart will soften so she can find a way of forgiving me and be willing to come back for the final time to stay and build on the marriage we have, and to raise and guide our children with me in this terrible world that the devil rules. I want to defeat the devil and not listen to those that tell me to move on and find another wife. Perhaps it is GOD’s will that my wife return to her family, but at present it is not my wife’s. Any suggestions? I would appreciate any advice, particularly biblical, as I believe in the power of prayer.

    • David from United States says:

      What an amazing testimony. I am so glad you found forgiveness and embraced the love God has for you and your beautiful children. I am encouraged by your faithfulness and willingness to look at the areas in your own life that you need to take account for. God bless you and thank you for sharing.

  4. Saara says:

    (NAMIBIA)  Thank you so much for the encouraging comments. I am standing for restoration of my marriage and seriously building a hedge of thorns around my husband. It is emotionally toturing but I will stand still for my marriage. My husband is from a neighboring country, 1 days’ drive/2hrs flight. My husband didn’t have a permanent job and was paid very little until we got married. I have a permanent job with satifyging benefits in my country. We agreed that I would still live in my country so that both of us would work hard until he finds a permanent job then my daughter and I would move to live with him.

    We went through hardship and humiliation but we stood together. My husband would broke down but I had been strong for him and he saw me as an angel for him sent by God. No matter how hopeless I felt I wouldn’t allow the devil to convince me with his lies because I wanted to be strong for my husband. I would visit him 2-3 times per year and he would visit me at least once or twice, depends on his work.

    We are both Christians. Whenever we were together we would go to church almost every day for the worship services. Because he doesn’t speak or understand English well, I would teach him the Word which was preached to us by the man of God and we would find courage and have peace. It was an amazing journey as I prayed fervently to God to open doors for my husband to find a permanent, well paid job to be able to mantain us a family sothat we can live in one house as it supposed to be for a married couple.

    For 7 years we have been trying to conceive without success. I have seen 3 different gynaecologists so far, I went through a lot of tests and they all confirmed that they couldn’t detect any problem. My husband is relaxed and feels it is unnecessary for him to see the doctor because the problem is with me since he could make a child while we were trying too. Many times he would mention that maybe my family has witched me, that I shouldn’t compare myself with his children and that he would die next to them. I have never given him a reason to make him say all these things and it really hurts me a lot. I have a 15 years old daughter from a relationship before and my husband has a 13 years old girl and a 5 years old boy (whom I only found out about when he was 3 months old). I was hurt because he has been with this women all along and was living together with her until he got her pregnant. He apologised and begged and I forgave him. Whenever I visited him, I would buy clothes for both children because in his country is very expensive.

    1 year and 3 months ago my husband got a job in the best oil company in his country and he is being paid well with the best benefits. December 2009 I went for holiday to stay until January as usually. I found him being kicked out by the landlord because he has not paid the rent for 4 months since he was not being paid on a probation for 6 months (which was true though). He asked me to go back sothat I would go back in Mei when he start getting his salary. I left after a week and was heartbroken. Since then he has been having excuses that he wanted to organise everything first befor I go there. In October 2010 his mother, who loves me so much told me to pray because the mother of his son went to his place with her belongings and his son, demanding to move in with him. His mother and his sister managed to get her out.

    In November, he got his leave and he came to visit for 3 weeks and he never mentioned it. We agreed I would go in the 2nd week of December which I did. When I got there I found out that when I left in December 2009 he was caught by our housekeeper with a woman in our bed and he fired her. After 7 months he begged his mother to beg her to come work for him again because she is very trust worthy unlike the other one who stole everything, even my clothes.

    I couldn’t trust my husband because he would switch off his phone whenever he was with me. A woman came to look for him when he was at work and he claimed that she was his cousin which is not true. He would go out and promised to come back soon to go out, only to see him 2 o’clock in the morning. I would send him a message to explain how unhappy I was about the way he was treating me because he wouldn’t want to sit and have a conversation with me. He started using my messages an excuse that I am too jealous and he is upset that I don’t trust him.

    I was supposed to come back on 10th January 2011 but on that Saturday 8, in the morning he said he was going to work until 1500. At 1300 he came home and told me that the next morning he would be travelling and he wouldn’t know if he would be back the same day. He told me that it would be better to go back with the busses which were leaving then because he might not be back till Monday. I told him that it wouldn’t be a problem because I could leave even on Tuesday since I will start working only on Thursday. He said he would go buy a ticket.

    Later he phoned and lied that there wouldn’t be a bus on Monday or Tuesday and the only one was leaving within an hour. I felt we had to talk but he was reluctant. When he came to fetch me I asked him if he didn’t want me any more? He became angry and said I should find a man who will give me more attention and whom I will trust since he is not making me happy. I was shocked and cried hysterically but he asked our housekeeper to take my luggages to the car. He took me to the bus and started to apologise and beg me to understand why was it better to leave before he travels. I was hurting because I knew I would cry all the way back to my country.

    The road is tiring with a lot of bumping because of holes. I felt humiliated and embarrassed in front of my housekeeper and neighbours. I couldn’t believe that my husband, my close friend, in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted up his heel against me. My husband, a man my equal, my companion and my familiar friend, we who had sweet fellowship together?

    I prayed all the way that God would do a miracle to cause me to conceive too. When I reached the border the next morning, my periods started flowing with a terrible pain. I’m very dissapointed but I leave everything in the hands of God because I know He will not allow the devil to put me to shame.

    When I arrived he sent me a message to ask if I have arrived safely. I responded and I didn’t say much. I decided I will not speak or complain anymore but will only talk to my faithful God and I know He will speak for me because I am His child. I will not give up on my marriage I will fight a good fight and I surely have the victory in Jesus Christ. Lets keep stand for the restoration of our marriages untill the last day. Remain blessed, my brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus.

  5. Candice says:

    (SOUTH AFRICA)  “I Am Standing For The Healing Of My Marriage!” This is what gets me through each and everyday. This is what motivates me and this is what I use as prayer. For when I feel like my world is tumbling down… I read this and feel renewed!

  6. Patricia114 says:

    (UNITED STATES)  I am working to get my marriage back after 14 years. Little, little, baby steps.
    I wish I had not let Satan take over. My husband is a good and trusting man, and I deceived him. Please help me, and pray that my husband sees the real change in me and will want to come back with me.

  7. Lisa says:

    (USA)  This is an amazing statement. Me and my husband have been married for 7 years tomorrow, been separated THREE different times in those seven years and I refused to give up. There was a point where I had to give it over to God and stop worrying about it every moment… and let me tell you I am a fighter and God rewarded my faith… he saved my husband!!!

    We are now a few months into this spiritual journey together (for the first time) and it is amazing what having God in the heart of your spouse can do! For those out there thinking about divorce, I implore you, do NOT give up!!! Believe that God can and will take care of the situation the way He best sees fit! I am a living testament to it!!!

    • CFD says:

      (SOUTH AFRICA)  Thank you for your reply Lisa…it means a lot to me that NOT giving up is the right way to go… you have inspired me to keep on going… no matter how hard it is. I use this statement as motivation everyday… it’s the only thing that really keeps me going.

  8. Kara says:

    (UNITED STATES)  I have been married to my husband for 15 years and we recently separated July 19th. He has already started dating a woman much younger than him. He tells me to move on but God has convicted me to stand.

    We have separated 3 times before all because of trust issues and infidelity on BOTH parts. I take full responsibility for my actions in the marriage and ask God everyday to forgive me and make me whole again. I also pray for my husband to become the Christian man God intended for him to be. We have 3 children who are also hurting by this separation.

    We are meant to be together, I am convicted by this fact. We love each other. I know he still loves me. He was so angry at me and although he is dating a new woman says he wishes we can be friends someday… I want my husband back. I REALLY want to save my marriage and dedicate our marriage to God to serve him. My husband is a school teacher and has a wonderful gift to teach. I know God could do a great work through us as a reconciled couple. Please pray for us!

  9. Irene says:

    (USA)  I am in love with my husband. He has a disease called alcoholism, and it is trying to pull us apart. He gave in and moved in with someone and thought (said) she would be good for him, but the alcohol and drugs she had/has going on brought him to jail. I love him and I don’t want to give up on my marriage. He said he wants to get sober, and seems to want to try and work on our marriage.

    He is a wonderful person when he was getting sober, and this girl met up with him, and immediately he got drunk, then one thing to another… Within 3 weeks he has ended up in jail. I am praying that God will help us work through this. I love my husband.

  10. Greg says:

    (USA)  I am standing for the restoration of my marriage. My wife, Karen, and I have been married for 4 years and 5 months. We have been separated for 3 months. I am 63, Karen is 57. Please pray that the Lord will, by the power of the Holy Spirit, draw us back together.

    In addition to the other issues that came to light, I have also come to realize that I had become insensitive and inattentive toward my wife. As is probably typical for most of us men, I didn’t realize it at the time.

    Pray that the Lord will draw us back together. Pray that Karen’s heart will once again be soft toward me. Pray that God will bring, restoration, reconciliation, restitution on my part, and healing. I love her and want to be with her and minister to her as best I can.

    I am willing to woo her and date her again, willing to basically start again as if we had never met. As of right now, Karen wants little contact with me.

  11. Billy says:

    (USA)  I love this poem as it exuberates my feelings. I have been dealing with separation of my wife followed by threat of divorce. But thru our Lord Jesus he gives me strength and guidance to fight the good with perseverance and determination till my marriage is healed or he sees fit that I have done all I could. Only he can tell me so.

    To everyone dealing with trouble in their marriage, do not give up and do not stop praying to the Lord as you will be blessed for your trust in him and the fight you put forth for your marriage. Anytime I have felt weak and overcome I have prayed to the Lord and he picks me back up and readies me for whatever may come next. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding (book of Psalms). Sustain your faith in the Lord. I appreciate your prayers and I will always remember all of you in mine.

    • Billy says:

      (USA)  Billy – thank you for your words – they gave me great encouragement. I need to learn to pray for my marriage miracle – 2nd separation in one year – my anger issues – her unhappiness/facebook issues. I am miserable, and yet when I read your words, I was uplifted.

  12. Diana says:

    (USA) I’ve come across this prayer and I believe God can and will heal my marriage. I thought I was out of love with my husband and was done with him. I started seeing another guy but then everything hit me and I realized that I am so in love with my husband and want to try and work things out.

    I quit talking to the other guy and have come back to the Lord. My husband wants a divorce and says he doesn’t love me but I truly believe that he does love me deep down. I have been praying for our marriage and for God to fix me. I wasn’t seeing any results so I became angry with God and became very depressed – but I was holding on my a thread.

    Then all of a sudden my husband, son (22 months old) and me spent the whole day together and we had a blast. It was one of the best days I have had in a long time. I felt like I was flying, and I was so happy that I wanted to cry. I know God is working in him and in me and our marriage is being healed. I would like you to keep me in prayer and my family and marriage. I am standing strong for our marriage and I believe and know my marriage will be healed!..

  13. God's child says:

    (SOUTH AFRICA) Got married Oct 2010 and over a month ago I found out that my husband has been having an affair with his ex, whom he dated before we got married. I also discovered that they have a daughter together, which he never told me about. As you can imagine I was shattered beyond words and initially wanted a D*** but I don’t believe that is the solution or God’s will in this.

    My hubby and I had major issues in our marriage and we both come from broken families and are still hurting about that. My hubby says he has feelings for this lady but he’s not sure if it’s because of the child or because he wants to be with her because when we had the problems in our marriage he wondered if he should have married her instead because all we seemed to do was fight.

    In all of this I discovered how much I really love my husband and I want God to do a new thing in our marriage. I don’t want the old marriage back but I want God to do a new thing in both our lives together. We agreed that he moves out to sort himself out and use this time to find healing. We are both born again Christians, however, my hubby hasn’t been going to church much since the revelation of this as he has taken offense to what my Pastor said when he discovered this (trusting God to soften my husband’s heart even concerning that).

    I’m really trusting God to move on my behalf and fight for me as I believe that nothing is impossible with God. Please stand in agreement with me for God to move in our lives and renew my marriage, humble my husband and remove any desire to be with this other woman. I am totally depending on God because I dont have the strength to fight this battle on my own. Thanks

  14. Graceb says:

    (SOUTH AFRICA) I am standing for my marriage. The marriage standing declaration on this page is what I am standing with in Jesus Name. I know God is changing both of us and we are in a purifying fire no matter what. God is moving in miraculous ways in His time with both of us. We will be a family that will be a light to those battling families out there. To all standers-don’t give up! The enemy will flee when we come against his schemes to devour families. Our God will kill the devourer!

  15. Lisa says:

    (USA) Hi my name is Lisa with Forever Marriage Ministries -I am truly amazed at all the marriage restoration sites available today. I get giddy with excitement in seeing God take back the sanctity of marriage. I give all glory to God for allowing the destruction of my marriage to get my attention and draw me back to Him. It was exactly 22 months from the time we spoke divorce to the day my husband moved home. That was the worst and the best 22 months of my life. God moved in me and made changes only He could make, allowing me to become the wife He created me to be and gave me a new love for my husband that was beyond my wildest dreams. Then God got my husband’s attention and brought him home.

    The marriage we share today is better than I could have ever hoped for. God is true to His word -He heals hurting marriages and brings dead marriages back to life. What He has done for me and my marriage He will surely do for you. Trust Him. The Lord has placed upon my heart the ministry of restoration and I praise Him for each and every opportunity to share His victory in the restoration of my marriage. I want every hurting wife to know she is not alone,that divorce does not have to be the answer -Jesus is. For more on my testimony check out my website Much Love to you all. xoxo

  16. Eva says:

    (IRELAND) Hi, I pray for all of you still standing for your marriages and those that have been restored that they will stay that way and you will continue to walk with God. I am at the beginning of my stand, just 6 weeks. My husband left me on the 18th of July and I am absolutely heartbroken. My husband is being very cold with me when he rarely speaks to me. He says he doesn’t care about me and wants nothing more to do with me. It’s crushing to hear someone you love more than you love yourself say those things to you. But I know that my fight is not with my husband but with the devil and the dark powers so I will bless instead of curse when I am hurt or sad.

    My husband is very angry with me because during the last couple of months of our marriage I neglected him. I must accept responsibility for my part in the breakdown of our marriage. I have turned to God for his help and comfort because I know that when the time is right God will reunite and restore our marriage. I know there will be days ahead where we all will feel like giving up but please know that’s going to happen. It may not be today or tomorrow it may not even be this year, but it will happen. Believe in what you are praying for and it will happen.

    God will not separate what He brought together. He loves you and your prodigal regardless of the circumstances. May God bless you and keep you always and may you keep up your stand. And if you can please pray for me and James as well, I will continue to pray you all. God bless. -Eva x

    • April says:

      (USA) Thank you for your words. I too am standing for to mos. now with what sounds the same with me. God has been at work on him and I, this whole time as I keep praying, and believing in him. I believe in him because his words do not lie. He says he will repair that; this is just a testing in our lives so that we may turn and lean on him. :) So don’t give up… keep praying and let him do his work in you and your marriage. He loves you… keep the faith… God bless you!!!

  17. Michele says:

    (USA) Is it wrong or showing a lack of faith by asking my husband to agree to a controlled separation?

    I am standing and, but it is so painful to visit with my husband during our separation. I have suggested that we don’t speak to or see each other for a time.

    We see one another about once per week and speak almost everyday. My husband won’t speak about anything pertaining to our separation. He totally shuts down if I bring up anything regarding us getting back together or divorce, for that matter. He won’t discuss anything “deep” insisting it causes him to resent the whole situation.

    At the same time I suggested we stop speaking for a time or file for divorce and he is adamant that he doesn’t want that. He will even drop by if I don’t respond to his phone calls.

    Sorry for the length of this question, but it is so very painful to interact with my husband, but not be able to be awkward. The last time we saw one another, I was more relaxed, but some uneasiness was still there. He wants sex and I don’t because I would only be having it to keep his attention. I want to really bad, but I feel peace in my spirit since I decided against sex until we reconcile.

    I was the one to initiate the separation because I didn’t have a better solution at that time (messages on this site prove me wrong -hindsight is 20/20) and I can’t help but feel he is trying to make me see the error of my ways by allowing us to be in a weird limbo.

    Would I be breaking our vows further by not interacting with him for a time? We have been separated 8 months and with no rules or agreement, I just feel horrible. We have never stopped interacting or being sexually intimate (I just stopped the sexual intimacy recently and he is still responsive and probably hopeful that too will pass). I am in pain regarding this, but always hopeful and optimistic about our restoration. I need help. What should I do?

  18. Michele says:

    (USA) I have to remember the below verse regarding the interaction with my husband because I would truly be heart broken if my husband were not caring for me. As I posted, the Lord unctioned me and pointed me to the below scripture.

    Me not wanting to see him (the Lord spoke to my spirit) has to do with control and not pain. I am to wait on the Lord and think on those things that are of good report about our marriage and not focus on our separation. In my case, it would be a lack of faith and commitment to my stand if I were to BEG once again for guidelines.

    God showed me I would be deceptive in asking for guidelines. I would want to hurry HIS process along and being controlling instead of standing. I also wanted permission to control my husband by asking you what I should have already known. I feel much better knowing the truth about my actions. (I think a controlled separation is the best way to go if at all possible and I wish I would have thought of that prior to separating. It’s just not time for us yet.)

    Philippians 4:6-8 Amplified Bible (AMP) Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. And God’s peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].

    • Cindy Wright says:

      Michelle, It seems that as you have sought the Lord, He has given you the wisdom you were seeking. I’m proud of you — this has got to be one of the most difficult things you have ever done –to stand firm in faith on such a tough situation. Now please know however, that because you are standing, your position may be tested. The enemy of our faith has a way of doing that –to try to confuse us and wear us down. But don’t shift around as we’re told in James 1. Stand firm. And while you are doing so, keep seeking God to help you to grow in whatever way you need it while you are in this waiting room of your life. I pray strength and wisdom and help and hope for you. “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ –to the glory and praise of God.” (Philippians 1:9-11)

      • Michele says:

        (USA) Thank you so much for taking the time to encourage and remind me to not be a double minded man unstable in all his ways. Also thank you for the prayer. I will stay in prayer and keep standing. :-)

      • Michele says:

        (USA) When I was fixing my marriage the world’s way, everything was going smooth relatively speaking. Once I posted here and took a stand all hades broke loose and I FEEL more alone, but I know God is doing a work on me and my husband. My relationship with God is closer than ever. I have more peace each day even though my husband and me seem further apart than ever.

        I know to walk by faith and not by sight. I am also learning to be submissive and gentle in this waiting period. I also know that my stand has ignited Satan into action, as 2 Corinthians 2:11 says “Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.” He comes to kill and to steal and to destroy, but praise God, Jesus came that we may have life and have it more abundantely.

        Standing in spite of your circumstances is the hardest thing I have ever done, but praise God I won’t reconcile by strength, by power or by might, but by His Spirit saith the Lord. Michele still standing!

  19. Michele says:

    (USA) Funny thing is when I decided to quietly stand for my marriage the enemy attacks. I am not faint or losing heart, but I have had some days that have almost made me demand a divorce, so I know where the attack is coming from. Even though I feel a bit discouraged, I want to encourage anyone, including myself, to continue to stand.

    Everything was going relatively well until I decided to stand on the Word and simply pray and trust God. It seems my husband’s time for me has diminished, he isn’t attempting to be intimate any longer. He isn’t consistant in calling like he was before I decided to stand. His loving affection toward me has cooled considerably. I will just believe:

    Ephesians 6:12 “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

    2 Corinthians 10:4 “For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds,”

    It hurts, but the Word helps. I will still stand for my marriage in the face of adversity!!! I will be like David and encourage myself in the Lord.

  20. Michele says:

    (USA) Things are going much better – different than before, but better. We actually discuss deep issues as I had been praying for and my husband actually discusses them with me. We have had our moments during my stand, but I have taken the advice given to me stated in James 1.

    I also ran across this prayer for other people standing for their marriage. It has been very encouraging to me in addition to the STAND prayer.

    Heavenly Father, I thank You for Your promises and I know that You are not a man that You should lie nor the son of a man that You need to repent for what you have told me (Numbers 23:19). I pray a double portion of tenacity, determination, patience and strength to wait for all the things that you’ve shown me to come to pass. May my waiting be active and not passive so that I may be doing the things that you require of me to bring this prophecy into fulfillment. Impart to me a spirit of joy so that I can always wait with hope and without grumbling. I know that you are able to do exceedingly abundantly more than I could ever ask, think, imagine, dream or hope for (Ephesians 3:20) and I pray that your grace and peace will guard my heart and mind as I wait for your perfect timing, In Jesus Name. Amen.

    • HDW says:

      (USA) I encourage you to separate from your husband. Women that try to stay in these types of relationships for too long develop major health problems.

      • Michele says:

        (USA) I rebuke that in the name of Jesus. I am already separated and God is working all things together for my good. I stand against health problems, marital problems, prophets of doom and separation!

        I will continue to stand for my marriage. Funny thing is I was feeling kind of down because things are going slower than I would prefer, but you have given me a renewed strength with this comment. I have let go and let God heal me, my husband and my marriage. Sometimes standing means letting go and letting God work in His own way in His own time. I will never give up on my marriage, I am a STANDER.

  21. Lovedoesntrape says:

    (USA) My husband assaulted our child, raped me, blamed his work and me for his actions and claimed my faith was weak because I became frigid following the rapes… I continued to submit because I felt if I did what he wanted and pleased him our marriage would become normal again. Instead he got more and more demanding and controlling. When I didn’t return to honeymoon level libido, he threatened to leave. He said why should he pay for a home, car etc for a family if his needs weren’t being met?

    After the abuse became so bad I was encouraged to separate for the safety of the family. He has become suddenly religious. He says his ring finger burns when his wedding finger is not on it and that he wonders if my emails reminding him to have his mail forwarded by the postal service are actually from the devil. As far as I know he is still working, but makes it clear he is under no obligation to help make a house or car payment, if he does not live here.

    He acts as if any help is a favor and should remove our fear of him. The whole family is doing much better with him out of the home. The sense of dread and tension is almost nonexistent now. It’s disturbing that he thinks he is fine having declared himself healed of having the devil in him, fully expects me to drop the protective order now that he has aligned himself with God or visa versa. He believes anyone or anything opposing him is a devil incarnate. I feel threatened by most of the content of his emails that attribute his crimes to the devil and because he is sorry he feels a good Christian wife is obligated to take him back to prove her faith. He keeps saying he loves me and the kids. I don’t believe what he has is love. I believe he is ill. Thoughts?

  22. Blossom says:

    (SA) Our 32 year marriage was wrecked by lies deceit, infidelity, debt, regrets,resentment, arguments. We both love the Lord and have been involved in missions and ministry. Our adult children and grandchildren are devastated as this was the least expected. Its been a year that we’ve been separated and he would come back then go back to his lover, then back, then we would make up, have an argument and back out again.

    He did not want to go for counselling to help us through the process of healing. Now we are on the brink of a divorce he initiated, and says it’s his opportunity for a better life. I am content, our family’s God is busy working in our lives at this painful time in our lives.

    • Michele says:

      (USA) Blossom, I pray that God returns your husband’s heart to you and that he forsakes anything that would inhibit your relationship. I pray that your children and grandchildren would be healed in Jesus name. I pray that you too have a testimony of the great things God is about to do in your marriage. I pray that the Lord restores, heals and recompenses you for the time you have spent apart from your husband. May the Lord bless you and keep you.

  23. Michele says:

    (USA) I asked the Lord to help me and my husband delved deep into our problems so that we could work our separation out. Be careful what you pray for because you WILL get it. What was once an easy separation on the road to recovery has been made a disaster area. What was once in the dark, has now come to light and that was my prayer.

    Since God in his mercy granted me the answer to a prayer that has seemed to drive us further apart, I will ask him to work ALL things together for our good no matter what things look like in the natural. I will be moving from my parents home and was hoping he would join me. I pray he does. I’m still standing for the total and complete restoration of my marriage no matter how hard things seem right now.

    Before we began to delve deep into our problems during this time of separation we dated, spoke every day and had an intimate relationship. I prayed we would move beyond that stage so we could resolve our problems and not pretend they didn’t exist. Now I have to be a “big girl” and deal with what I asked God for.

    Oh God, if you are listening, please heal the wedge between us and allow us to resolve our issues. Please restore our marriage like you did Job’s life- make it better than it ever was. Allow me grace to stand still and see the salvation of the Lord. Open my eyes to see there are more for me than agaisnst me in Jesus name.

    Merry Christmas -Michele Still Standing

    Next year I will be giving a testimony regarding the healing of my husband, me and my marriage.

  24. Ena says:

    (MEXICO) I will STAND and never give up. I will do God’s will and not man’s… because I love the man Jesus Christ put in my path to be the only father of my children. I refuse to sin against God once more!

  25. Michele says:

    (USA) Praise the Lord me and my husband are getting back together. It has been one year this month that we were separated and glory to God we are now reconciling. It seemed as soon as I began to stand, Satan drove a wedge the size of the Grand Canyon between us, but praise God I kept standing! This is only the beginning as we have to work the ligistics out because we are separated, but God will work it all out just has he did this past year. For everyone standing for their marriage-don’t give up or give in. Fight the good fight of faith and your spouse will return to you. God’s perfect will shall in fact be done. -Michele Still Standing after 1 year Glory to God!!!

  26. Not Sure says:

    (USA) Hi, I’ve been standing for my marriage for 5 months, now going on to 6. :( I’m at a crossroad right now. I knew about Jesus but never really needed Him, until now. Since day one I’ve been praying, going to church, trusting and believing but only to fall. I caused all of this.

    I was hurt as a child and never told anyone. I carried it with me eveyday and now it cause so much hurt to my husband and family. I’ve been hurt so I would hurt my husband with words. Always putting him down. So he left me and our two kids, wounded and broken. It’s been very hard. The roles have changed. He’s mean and bitter now, and I’m working really hard to save my marriage. Throughout the months, I’ve grown in the Lord, I have a good relationship with him. I am stronger now. Everything seems to go good… he comes home but only to leave the next day. Then I fall back down and get hurt all over again.

    I’m at a crossroad about just letting him go. No calling him, texing or anything, and just let God be God. I’ve tried before but every time I do he calls all the time, and takes us out to dinner and we spend a lot of family time together. But only for a few days, only to be hurt all over again. Someone please HELP ME!!! I’ve prayed, looked for answers in the Word but can’t find anything to help me. :(

    • Yass says:

      (US) If you really want your marriage restored, continue to believe and trust God will do it. I understand exactly what you are going through because I went through it already. But God changed it all. Your husband comes and goes because he may be testing the waters. He is watching you to see if there are really any positive changes in you.

      Visit, they have plenty of really good free material that will help you in your stand for your marriage. They have daily devotionals that will motivate you on a daily basis to do wait on God’s perfect timing.

      God restored my marriage after my husband left me. I too drew close to God and I had to let him go. I had to stop texting, calling, chasing, and just prayed day and night. It was God that brought him back, not me.

      Have faith, with Him all things are possible.

      • Unsure says:

        (USA) THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR RESPONDING. Thank you for your words of encouragement. Somedays this is just what I need… :) Thank u again…

  27. Andrew says:

    (US) My wife and I are separated again, the third time now. The first time it happened, God used it to get my attention and bring me to Him. I have been standing ever since. My beautiful wife has been on and off with the Lord. She did give her heart to the Lord once and I believe whole-heartedly that He will bring her back. To God be all the glory, now and when He shows His sovereignty, mercy, love, and grace! I will be praying for all of your marriages and I pray that you will pray for mine as well. God is faithful and we need only to put our faith in Him.

  28. April says:

    (US) I thank GOD for the storm he’s brought me to and is leading out of, right now. I am a stander. I’v learned to trust in the Lord. I’ve also learned that words are powerful. It can break down someone or lift them up. He is true and faithful to his Word. If you speak it and say God this is what you said and you were never a man to lie. Speak it and mean it with all your heart and just sit back and watch God move for you. All he wants is for you to love him with all your heart. God bless everyone who is standing. Don’t give up. Speak life into your spouse and marriage everyday. In Jesus name. There’s power in that name. Use it everyday. It’s free. God has to move if you only believe… God bless you today.

  29. Rachael says:

    (USA) I filed for divorce after I found my husband was still communicating with the other woman. He told her he didn’t love me and was going to move out. This was the third instance where I caught him after he promised no communication. They work for the same company. That was in Jan 2013. Then just before he got served he told me he wanted to work on the marriage and loved me so I put the divorce on hold. I have prayed, and read the bible every day since.

    I found out about the affair over a year ago. I have put up with rude, unaffectionate behavior. He says one thing and does another. I fasted this week 40 hours and then was 20 hours in prayer and he’s being mean and rude. Then I get upset and he doesn’t seem to care. I give him affection. I’m trying to change my behavior. Last night I told him I was thinking of dropping the divorce and he told me to wait cause I don’t seem ready because he was mean to me the might before and I asked him if he wanted me to call the atty.

    I want to stand. I have been married 23 years with much unhappiness. I get so discouraged when I pray and there is so little change. I think the devil is attacking. But my husband is a selfish individual. Will God make him respect me and treat me with love?

    • Hope says:

      (US) Keep, holding on. I know how you’re feeling. I really do. It is the devil attacking you. He knows that you’re standing and that you’re learning and believing in Jesus. So he is using your husband to hurt you so you can have doubt. But don’t give in. Pray and keep asking God every day to change your husband’s heart and behavior.

      My husband was the same way. I’ve been praying and asking God to change him and this week I have seen it. He thanks me for the things I do for him, like dinner last nite, and when he was leaving he gave me the biggest hug since this whole thing started. :) I thank the Lord I serve because it’s only him that can do that for me. I asked and I received. PTL I know it hurts when we are the one working so hard to fix things and change the problem, but I learned to give it all to the Lord, and not pick it back up. It was hard and it didn’t happen over nite. I keep failing because lack of faith. But I now know that God wants me and my attention right now. I now put God first in everything, and now I’m stronger, and have more peace than I every had.

      It’s cool how so many times I read about other standers having a hard day with their stand and ask God to show them if they’re on the right path, and he did or has in some way or another. I was feeling that way today and asked. As I’m encouraging you I know God is talking to me rite now too. I’m slowly believing in his power or I should say trusting in him more now, and taking the time to know him and talk with him every day and now I can see what he is doing in my life. He is real. God uses us to be an example to others.

      Let God use you; surrender to him everything and watch him work on you and you well see more clearly. As so will your husband. Keep reading the word to fight the devil, and let God do all the work for you. What helped me the most was when I read that if you want change in your husband, you need to change first. Whether in faith, prayer, or just believing, we do not fight against flesh and blood but against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12, Put the whole armor of God on everyday. I know it’s hard but submit yourself to God and it will be easier to submit to your husband. God wants to do good to us and not harm.

      It took me a while to understand all this too. He says if we ask and believe it will be given on to us in how much we believe in his power. All he wants us to do is give it all to him to fix because he wants all the glory. All I can tell you is keep searching for him with all your heart. You will find him, declares the Lord, and will bring you back from captivity. I know a lot of this might not make a lot of sense but I’m just so excited. I’m thinking faster than I can type. lol…. I hope and pray that you dont give up. May my God, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob do for you what he has done for them and so many. God bless you!!!

  30. Glenn from Australia says:

    Nothing is impossible to God. I believe in my heart that this declaration I made with my marriage God will move. I pray for my wife’s salvation. I pray that she will care and make the priority of the family over friends and other stuff. I pray that the love will be back. I pray that she will not fall again to the trap of the the enemy and fall to someone else. I pray in the mighty name of Jesus that all the relationships, and the family will be healed. We accept and we believe as there is No Other Name that can restore and free us all, besides the beautiful name of Jesus. There is hope; don’t give up! God is good all the time!

  31. Trinetta from United States says:

    I need urgent prayer for marriage reconciliation. I pray that my husband, Steve, will become deaf, dumb and blind to satan’s lies and that God will place people in his path that will overwhelm him with the truth! I pray Steve’s heart will be softened and he will be down on his knees before he forces me to go sign legal separation papers, probably next week. I pray that he will finally see the truth when he keeps saying that God told him to do this and if he repents and asks forgiveness, as he divorces is family, he’ll be rewarded with a brand new, better life. I declare in Jesus name that this marriage is not over and God will restore it better than before and all of our relationships with Him will be stronger!!! I pray this in Jesus’ strong and precious name! Amen!!

  32. HW from United States says:

    I moved out of my home with my son 4 months ago. My husband and I have been married for 7 and half years. We have had many ups and downs. Recently, since he has come back from Afghanistan, things have gone downhill fast. I thought separating was the right thing to do because of the verbal assaults and nastiness coming from him. I regret this decision immensly. He has fluctuated hot and cold over the separation. Now he is saying he doesn’t want to try anymore and we are to only discuss our son.

    I have just recently been a “stander” and he is resisting me and God whole-heartedly. I believe he is having an affair but he denies it flat out. I am trying desperately to place my entire faith and trust in God tht we will reconcile. It’s really hard some days when he says he doesn’t want to try anymore. This site has been a tremendous encouragement to me. Please please pray for our desperate situation.

  33. Tonya from United States says:

    Please pray that my marriage is restored. We have been married nine and a half years and have two kids (6&8). My husband asked for a seperation saying he was no longer in love with me and he wasn’t happy. We have been living apart for almost three months now. I truly feel he still loves me and that we can be happy as husband and wife again. Please pray that my family is made whole again. Thank you

  34. John from United States says:

    I am standing for my marriage and need God’s help in restoring my covenant with my spouse. My wife of 13 years, Shauna, has moved out of the home and believes divorce is the only solution to our problems. We have had our ups and downs in our marriage but I had not realized it was in such a low place that divorce was an option. I was not the best husband but I loved and cared for my wife deeply. I continue to love, care and have compassion for my wife. I pray that God can help bring us back together. For the sake of our union, kids, and family.

  35. Rebecca from United States says:

    My husband had a long term affair, which probably began as an innocent colleague friendship 5 months after my 3rd brain surgery. Then unknown to me, that blossomed into a long distance emotional affair where they would see each other in person at work conferences around the country. Then the next year it blew into a full physical affair, which he disclosed in March of this year (a year and a few months after the physical part started). Naturally I was TOTALLY crushed and devastated. As a matter of fact I think I may have suffered Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and was training within a few weeks to run a half marathon I had signed up for long before learning all this.

    My last long training run was only 3 weeks after he told me and I was so distraught that I could not think straight and within a few miles serious confusion set in and I blacked out waking up after dark being loaded into an ambulance. It was my first unconscious seizure after being diagnosed over 14 years prior with brain tumors I have had nearly all of my life but did not know about. So I legally lost driving privileges for 6 months as long as I did not have another seizure. So my husband stayed, I would not leave, and we fought often. I got counseling and just as I started mine he quit his. The Christian counselor we found (the 2nd) had a condition that we each needed to have our own counselor before counseling together so he suddenly dropped his and did not pursue another during the following 4 months we were still living together.

    Then the weekend of my birthday without discussing the matter with me, he met with my parents to explain that he’s stressed out and asked for their help by asking if I could come stay (or visit) with them for a while. They said of course but told him that he needs to be honest with me and tell me how long that would be. Well almost a week later he finally tells me this and had written me a letter. He had no definition of a time frame and there were essential medical appointments I needed to attend here and our 13 year old dog I did not want to move from her home in the end of her life. He was angry and put on me “You always ask me what I need and this is something you can do for me.” I really wrestled with this spiritually and logically. I was not even able to drive again yet by a few weeks.

    According to God I felt my leaving was just wrong so I meditated on his Word and prayed a lot about it. I kept getting the message from him to STAY. After I expressed my concerns and feelings about it, my parents, sister, and brother all supported my reasoning to stay and called him telling him that if he feels he needs space and time apart, then HE needs to be the one to leave. My therapist also felt that he needed to leave because it was HIS decision to depart from the marriage and not mine. Yet I did question myself if I was being unfair, unloving, or disrespectful.

    As it turns out I was right to stand my ground. Our dog rapidly went down hill in a matter of days from a very aggressive cancer and we had to put her to sleep exactly one month after he moved out. Oh yeah, before I knew my family called him, I had told him I’d agree to leave if he could wait a few more weeks for me to take care of the important medical appointments, try to find some way to work out my therapy (my parents live 4 hours away in another state), and when I legally got my driving privileges back. He refused to wait and adamantly moved out 5 days later the first week of October.

    At first I was led to believe when I asked for how much time he needed for this “space”, it would be a month. He came a day early as I contacted him our dog was suddenly sick and needed to go to the vet. The next day we had to put her to sleep. He stayed over the next 2 days after her death but showed up very late (after midnight) and insisted upon sleeping on the couch. Then Halloween morning he woke me up sometime between 6-6:30 am to tell me he was leaving. When I asked if he was coming back he said he did not know and it blew up into a conflict saying he was not ready to move back and blaming me for being demanding as I asked for a reasonable and considerate time estimate of when he would be coming back home. He then said to me in anger if I wanted to know that right now then we would get a divorce. So he left but came back 2 more times in the same morning after I had gone back to sleep! He also came back a couple more times to help with things I did not ask him for before I decided to leave town after our dog’s death when my dad had health concerns suddenly appear.

    I found out shortly after I got there that my husband was going to NY on business after visiting his family for Thanksgiving. I was upset that he withheld this information from me which I discovered through my own mother who learned from his mom! When I questioned him about it, he admitted he was going there on business with his partner but was staying an extra day afterward to play tourist in NY! Worse, I find out that his partner was flying back the day before so he planned to spend a day and night in NY alone when it has been a GREAT burden to him to even spend a full day with me. He would complain he did not have the time to take from work. Yet he traveled to Alaska for a week vacation in August to be alone with himself!

    Anyhow, when I learned of this I was really skeptical. I upfront asked him in text messages 3 times if he was still having an affair to which he did not answer. He told me we have some trust issues and would come down to my parents so we could talk about it. Then he suddenly showed up one afternoon 1 week before Thanksgiving and asked if we could go for a walk. While on our walk he tells me what a wonderful wife I am, how good I have been for him, that he loves me and even embraced me several times. When it is time to turn around I asked him if he had spoken to his affair partner since April to which he refused to talk about saying that has nothing to do with us. Then he said “I think our relationship is finished” with no explanation why and when I asked about going to marriage counseling he said he would have to pray about it. He has been very vague, often evading me, and not forthcoming. When we got back to my parents’ house he told me that we have had a wonderful life together but now it is closed and drove directly back another 4 hours at night (so 8 hours of driving in a day to tell me this).

    I still stood firm and on the walk told him that it is not over til God says it is over. So I have continued positive communication with him near daily and send him prayers as well as told him I love him and God Bless him. He chooses when, how often, and what he wants to answer and respond to.

    Today is the day he has all to himself and this evening in NY which unsettles me. He has not answered what time he is flying back tomorrow or if he will even plan to spend at or stop by the house. My parents are coming tomorrow and I wanted to respectfully know if we should expect him coming by. I am also sending the Christmas cards out this week which I write a newsletter to go with and asked him if there is anything he wanted to put in it. Again he has not responded.

    Thank you for this prayer. It really helps! God Bless you! And please pray for us. Pray for God to convict his heart and lead him in the Godly life meant for him and pray for me to be strong, endure, trust God, have peace, and to be content. I has certainly been my most challenging trial in life and I have endured MANY serious trials medically and physically in my life! Thanks!

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