Marriage Missions International

Individual Differences Between Men and Women

I am constantly amazed by how easy it is to overlook one of the more obvious facts about men and women: They’re different!

Feminists and others in the recent past have worked to blur the distinctions between the sexes. But this effort is ultimately doomed because God created us male and female —different.

… All of us know that men and women are separated by more than basic, biological nuances. But just how different are we? After considerable research, an author named Cris Evatt developed a general summary of male and female personality traits.

Of course, these are generalizations that may only apply in degrees to any particular person, and some items on the list probably relate more to social conditioning than real personality differences.

But you will enjoy reviewing and discussing the following list with your spouse:

MEN WOMEN
More self-focused More other-focused
Needs less intimacy Needs more intimacy
Fears engulfment Fears abandonment
Feels less resentful Feels more resentful
Needs less approval Needs more approval
More independent Less independent
Often detached Often emotional
An attention-getter An attention-giver
Highly competitive Less competitive
Strong drive for power/money Less important drive for power/money
Respect very important Respect less important
Often obsessed with sports Sports less important
Talks mostly about “things” Talks mostly about “people”
Less talkative in private Less talkative in public
Takes things literally Looks for hidden meanings
Language more direct Language more indirect
Less Responsive listener More responsive listener
Decisions made quicker Takes more time to decide
Gossips less Gossips more
Engages in put-downs Engages in backbiting
Focuses more on solutions Likes to discuss problems
Less apologetic More apologetic
Tells more jokes/stories Tells fewer jokes/stories
Less willing to seek help Seeks help readily
Boasts about performance Boasts less frequently
Nags less often Nags more often
Often intimidates others Seldom intimidates others
Issues orders Makes suggestions
Often seeks conflict Tends to avoid conflict
Likes to be adored Likes to adore others
Fearful of commitment Eager for commitment
Sexually jealous of mate Emotionally jealous of mate
Accepts others more Tries to change others more
Thrives on receiving Thrives on giving
More polygamous More monogamous
More sadistic More masochistic
More sex-oriented More love-oriented
Has fewer close friends Has many close friends
Likes group activities Prefers intimate encounters
Worries less about others Worries more about others
More sensitive to stress Less sensitive to stress
Less trusting Often too trusting
More aggressive Less agressive
Initiates war Does not make war
Posture leans back more Posture leans forward more
Cooler/seductive sexiness warmer/animated sexiness
Has more testosterone Has more estrogen
Less into dieting More into dieting
Less concerned about health More concerned about health
Worries less about appearance Worries more about appearance
Takes more physical risks Takes fewer physical risks
Shops out of necessity Often shops for enjoyment

Whew! A list like that makes it clear why combining two people with different qualities and approaches to life into a marriage is a challenging task. And to complicate things more, sometimes a quality that attracted you to your mate— “He’s so funny!” —can frustrate you after marriage: “Why can’t he be serious once in a while?” That’s why you should often remind each other, “You are God’s perfect gift for me.” You need to trust Him and His plan.

The above article comes from the book, Starting Your Marriage Right: What You Need to Know in the Early Years to Make It Last a Lifetime, written by Dennis and Barbara Rainey, by Thomas Nelson Publishers. This book contains information on what you need to know and do in the early years to make your marriage last a lifetime. This would be a great book to give as a shower gift, a wedding gift, a gift for newlyweds, or even for yourself if you fit into that category. It offers concrete ways to put important principles into practice to help you build a solid foundation for your marriage.

— ALSO —

Below is a link to the Crosswalk.com web site where they have an article posted that could help you recognize our differences even further. Please click onto the link to read:

•  JUST HOW DIFFERENT ARE MEN AND WOMEN?

If you have additional tips you can share to help others in this area of marriage, or you want to share requests for prayer and/or ask others for advice, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.

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Comments

One Response to “Individual Differences Between Men and Women”
  1. Jaine says:

    (USA)  I remember years ago on the radio, Dr. Dobson said that testosterone does something to the corpus collosum on male newborns which contributes to the fact that male brains and female brains then don’t work the same way. He said or implied then that the female brain would have more connections between brain hemispheres. Where could I get more data on that, research, or more info? Thank you.

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