My Spouse Is In Love With Someone Else

“Help! My spouse is in love with someone else!”

We’ve heard those horrible words in different forms so many times from those that write and/or talk to us, here at Marriage Missions. And the spouse who is left behind, who is telling us his or her story, is devastated!

And understandably so!

“Infidelity is one of the most thoughtless, dishonest and cruel acts of self-indulgence imaginable.” (Dr Willard Harley Jr.)

We couldn’t agree more with that statement! Just the thought of having a spouse, the person who pledged to love and be faithful to you for the rest of your lives, the person you have given every part of your heart and body to —just to think that this person could throw your love and commitment away and pledge love to someone else, is inconceivably cruel. No one deserves to hear that “news” from his or her spouse.

How we wish we could erase that betrayal from ever happening to another person!

But sadly, we can’t.

What we can do however, is lead you to read an article which God may use to help you deal with this horrible new in some way. We pray it helps with all our hearts.

Please click onto the Marriage link to read what marriage expert, Jo Beam wrote on this subject:


If you have additional tips you can share to help others who are dealing with this dilemma, or you want to share requests for prayer and/or ask others for advice, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.


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Filed under: Emotional & Physical Affair Save My Marriage

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72 responses to “My Spouse Is In Love With Someone Else

  1. My husband travels 6 days a week. Recently I happened upon a text from another woman saying ” hugs.. Sorry I was sleeping”. He spoils our teenage daughter and gives her attention for negative behavior while ignoring intimacy with me. We haven’t had sex in 2 months and when he is out on work traveling, he rarely answers his phone.

    He gives all the attention to my daughter (whom he adopted when we got married) when he is home only since she hit puberty and ignores my requests for any sort of intimacy. In fact, they leave every day 5 minutes before I get home from work and go out to dinner, etc.

    They both tell me I’m crazy because I can’t handle their trash talking me or their neglect after so many years. I just can’t handle it anymore I even tried to give him a massage and he got out of bed and slept on his couch because he cringes when I touch him. Before the last 2 years, he hated her and wouldn’t allow her any priviledges at all. He has alienated me and her from our friends and family. What should I do?

  2. I need prayer for me & my family. I’m working on forgiveness but I’m having a hard time hearing what God is saying even though my husband of 5 yrs is now in a relationship with an ex girlfriend about to have a baby this month. He has given her the upper hand as if me and him were never in love, even though we spent all those years together. We have 5 children, been together for 15, married for 5. He turned his back on us yet again despite him leaving me and then 2 children for the first woman and stayed with her for exactly 29 months.

    We were good for 8 years in which our relationship was good, I thought, until we lost our place due to bills piling up on us. He asked me to move across state to a homeless shelter and starved our relationship to pick up a relationship with an old girlfriend. He’s been in a relationship with her now. It would have been our 8th year married, 18 yrs together. I’m praying clarity into what God is saying about what is GOD’s – JESUS take on our marriage. Is he telling me to wait, stay & pray or don’t talk & walk? I know GOD is not the author of confusion but for the most part I feel like I’ve been attacked, robbed & they want me to get & walk home in a dark alley with mean drunks.

  3. I still love my husband but this has been going on for 10 years and he doesn’t treat me like his lady. Now I think it is time to move on. Because I, for some reason, can’t make up my mind to move on. I really believe because I am a Christian. I am looking at it a shameful. I now realize that I have to stop blaming myself. I think he is just as miserable as I am. I don’t know how to make a decision. I am depending on God’s help.

  4. I’ve been married for three years, but since last year my husband is having an affair with another woman. I had a miscarriage first, then my father died, and my husband is jobless. My husband left me four months ago and is living with that same woman, but there is one hope -and that is God. Never lose hope in our almighty Father. He made a pair in heaven but it was complete on earth by marriage. It’s not a mistake, because God chose our partner for us from heaven. Even though we love someone for 10-15 years and our marriage breaks up, it’s not God’s choice. It’s satan who doesn’t want to see our happy marriage and doesn’t want us to be happy because he always goes against God.

    Our almighty father wants His children to be happy with family. In the Bible, Malachi 2:16 it says “I hate divorce says the Lord God of Israel, I hate it when one of you does such a cruel thing to his wife.” And in 1 Corinthians 7:16, “How can you be sure, Christian wife/husband that you will not save your husband. Our almighty father is not a homebreaker but he is a joiner; he’s not taker but a giver.” So it’s satan who targets His children by separating the relationship; so have in faith in our Father and pray and pray till he comes back and still continue to pray to our almighty Father by praising and giving thanks. Don’t lose faith and don’t give up hope and let satan get the victory. By praying your husband will be back.

  5. Hi… My husband is having an affair with another lady. He loves her so much. Over the last year I have struggled in my relationship, but he can’t. We have have a baby girl so that I can’t do anything. I can’t leave his home. Our relationship was finished…we don’t talk to each other but I still live in his home…and in our cast there is no chance to divorce from him. Please help me. What can I do? I love him a lot. How can I get m hubby back in my life?

  6. My wife told me last week that she is in love with a man she had an affair with 6 years ago. We have been together for fifteen years and mareid for 11, and we have three great daughters. I am trying to spend a lot of time with the kids and also help my wife; she is really sick and has lupus. I’m not mad at her at all, just hurt so I am accepting it. I have gone to church and I have prayed not to get back together but just to hear God, and see if he can help me and lead me through this, but I never feel like he’s talking to me. What should I do? I need his help.

  7. My husband also is in love with someone. Please tell me what can I do to save my married life and my three children.

    1. Shahnaz, I’m not really sure. All I can say is to read and apply the advice given in this and other articles –adapting and using what you believe is important, as you pray. And that is the key. Your husband has gone the route of cheating on you and your children. Some men (and women, if it applies) wake up eventually and go back to their spouse. My dad did. There were 4 of us kids. He eventually saw that my mom was a better woman that the other woman ever would be. But it took time, and prayer, and doing the best that is possible under the circumstances. My mom worked on herself, knowing she would never lose as much if she was a better person, and took the best care of us as she could. I now look back and SO appreciate how tough this was for her, and yet she kept working to do the best she could, with God’s help.

      That’s the best advice I can give you. I know your heart is broken… how could it not be? But I pray God strengthens and mends your heart and helps you to do what is needed to live as a good woman, and a good mother. I hope your husband wakes up and does as God would have him –to restore your marriage and family to be a loving one. I pray for you and your husband and your children.

  8. Please pray that God finds his way into my husband heart. I Betrayed my husband and had a one night stand with another man and he hasn’t forgiven me yet. Instead, he took up with another woman and has been with her for almost 4 months, leaving me and two daughters behind. Divorce has not been filed, but I’m not sure how much longer I can wait and hold onto our marriage.