The Power Of A Praying Wife

I Don’t Even Like Him—How Can I Pray for Him?

praying wife Dollar PhotoHave you ever been so mad at your husband that the last thing you wanted to do was pray for him? So have I. It’s hard to pray for someone when you’re angry or he’s hurt you.

But that’s exactly what God wants us to do. If He asks us to pray for our enemies, how much more should we be praying for the person with whom we have become one and are supposed to love? But how do we get past the unforgiveness and critical attitude?

Honest with God

The first thing to do is be completely honest with God. In order to break down the walls in our hearts and smash the barriers that stop communication, we have to be totally up front with the Lord about our feelings. We don’t have to “pretty it up” for Him. He already knows the truth. He just wants to see if we’re willing to admit it and confess it as disobedience to His ways. If so, He then has a heart with which He can work.

Power of Praying Wife

If you’re angry at your husband, tell God. Don’t let it become a cancer that grows with each passing day. Don’t say, “I’m going to live my life and let him live his.” There’s a price to pay when we act entirely independently of one another. “Neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:11).

Instead say:

“Lord, nothing in me wants to pray for this man. I confess my anger, hurt, unforgiveness, disappointment, resentment, and hardness of heart toward him. Forgive me and create in me a clean heart and right spirit before You. Give me a new, positive, joyful, loving, forgiving attitude toward him. Where he has erred, reveal it to him and convict his heart about it. Lead him through the paths of repentance and deliverance. Help me not to hold myself apart from him emotionally, mentally, or physically because of unforgiveness. Where either of us needs to ask forgiveness of the other, help us to do so.

If there is something I’m not seeing that’s adding to this problem, reveal it to me and help me to understand it. Remove any wedge of confusion that has created misunderstanding or miscommunication. Where there is behavior that needs to change in either of us, I pray You would enable that change to happen. As much as I want to hang on to my anger toward him because I feel it’s justified, I want to do what You want. I release all those feelings to You. Give me a renewed sense of love for him and words to heal this situation.”

A Challenge

If you feel you’re able, try this little experiment and see what happens. Pray for your husband every day for a month using each one of the 30 areas of prayer I’ve included in this book. Pray a chapter a day. Ask God to pour out His blessings on him and fill you both with His love. See if your heart doesn’t soften toward him. Notice if his attitude toward you doesn’t change as well. Observe whether your relationship isn’t running more smoothly.

If you have trouble making that kind of prayer commitment, think of it from the Lord’s perspective. Seeing your husband through God’s eyes—not just as your husband, but as God’s child, a son whom the Lord loves —can be a great revelation. If someone called and asked you to pray for his or her son, you would do it, wouldn’t you? Well, God is asking.

There is a time for everything, as it says in the Bible. That’s never more true than in marriage, especially when it comes to the words we say. There is a time to speak and a time not to speak, and happy is the man whose wife can discern between the two.

Pray Rather Than Say

Anyone who has been married for any length of time realizes that there are things that are better left unsaid. A wife has the ability to hurt her husband more deeply than anyone else can, and he can do the same to her. No matter how much apology, the words cannot be erased. They can only be forgiven and that’s not always easy. Sometimes anything we say will only hinder the flow of what God wants to do, so it’s best to, well, shut up and pray.

This is an excerpt from, The Power of a Praying® Wife, written by Stormie Omartian, published by Harvest House. This is one of my (Cindy’s) favorite books! As Stormie said, “I can think of no better way to truly love your husband than by lifting him up in prayer on a consistent basis. It is a priceless gift that helps him experience God’s blessings and grace.” With real-life illustrations, Stormie includes sample prayers, and scriptures that inspire and encourage —to help wives rest assured in God’s promises of restoration, renewal, and growth in marriage.


Below are linked articles to read to guide you to pray for your husband in different ways than you might have otherwise thought:

10 Things Praying for Your Husband Does for You (the Wife)

31 Days of Praying for Your Husband


Filed under: For Married Women Spiritual Matters

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614 responses to “The Power Of A Praying Wife

  1. Needing prayer warriors to stand and pray with me for my husband’s salvation and restoration for my 20 yr marriage. My husband gave up on God and his family. He did have an affair, which I forgave him for. I have so much love and compassion for him as I see his hurt and anger for so many things he has not let go of all the way from his childhood. Would love to see my husband a changed man who loves God and bring him home. I know who the true enemy is and want my husband back.

    1. I pray for the others above. Bonnie, I pray for you too because I’m in your shoes in which my husband also had an affair and contemplating whether or not to stay in our marriage because he feels empty, lost sight of God, lost passion for his job, overwhelmed with our finances, and lost feelings for me. Despite this, I want to save our marriage too. I’m praying for your husband and my husband to return and that God will restore pureness and love in their hearts.

    2. Everything you have gone through, I have too, but after my husband’s affair 17 years ago, he got cancer twice, I was right there, but as the years have gone by my husband has not forgiven himself. These 16 years has kept me on my knees, our family has been split. Our oldest son and my husband are in a split relationship. My husband had a heart attack and kidney failure last March, 2015. Was in coma 7 days, doctors said he would not make it. Well, I never received it, I went in and prayed and God heard me, 7 days later he woke up. They said he would be on dialyses, but no God healed him. I feel God is still working on my husband with the un-forgiveness issues. Oh did I say he was a Pastor. I love my husband, we have been together 46 years, God has truly blessed me today reading this article. I want my husband to feel the true love of God. He had a terrible young life, but I know God has brought my husband this far, by Grace and Mercy. He will also be 82, he had a cat scan this week for signs of dementia, but God can heal that too. See we serve an awesome God, so please never give up on God or your husband, God hasn’t.

  2. Being together almost half century coming February, I found out he’s been approaching someone from HCM. He just got back from holidays with his friend. I have peace since I know the Lord. But I wonder now is history going to repeat? The Holy Spirit tells me to be patient, 1 Corinthians 13 love is kind. Would like to ask your advice. Should I see his app or keep silent and continue praying to the Lord. I choose to be happy, things know less, hurts less. Thanks. please keep me in prayers. God bless!

  3. How really do I do this? my husband has had countless, I mean, it has been woman after woman for 16 years, sometimes several women at once. He has never been faithful ever since I met him and all these years/times I would forgive him thinking things will get better but it has just gotten worse. He sleeps with basically everybody, his friend’ wives, my friends, my sister and I just found out he has been having an affair with a girl that is exactly his daughter’s age. I’ve tried living by God’s commands, praying, fasting and now I’m at a dead end. I honeslty do not know what to do from here because he also doesn’t want to seek help and he doesn’t want a relationship with God. We have four young kids and I’m just torn apart I don’t know what to do

    1. Please trust God, have You considered a Christian counselor. Keep praying for your husband, God see’s your pain.

    2. My husband is having an affair with a married woman but also having an affair on her with another married woman. He doesn’t know that I’m aware of this and has told me that both women are just friends and that he needs to be separated to get closer to God, that’s not what I know. I’ve been praying for him and I will not give up because God will answer my prayers in his way and at his time. I know you are hurting and have gone thru a lot of pain but give your burdens to God and he will help you with your request. It may not be what you want at this time but it will be what is best for you and your children. I will pray for you and your family that you have God’s Armor surround you and your family. God Bless you.

    3. Hi hun, keep seeking god. God will answer your prayer trust in the Lord and get a good christian councillor to help you. Don’t give up

  4. Hi, my name is Christian and my husband’s name is Richard. He is in jail at the moment; he missed his court dates – not meaning to, it just happened that way. We went to see his mother in New York and while we were there her mother and brother put her in a mental hospital and abandoned her. She has brain injuries from a car accident in 2010 but she not mental. I found out which hospital she was in and would visit. Well, after she was there a week the Dr. saw she’s not mentally ill.

    I was called to the hospital to speak with Dr. They asked me where she was gonna go since her mother wasn’t safe and I said she could come with us. So that’s why he missed court because our visit turned into bigger things. We are back home now and she is also with us. My husband turned himself in to do the right thing but the court’s are really wanting to give him prison time. I really need lots of prayer for my family. Thanks, in Jesus name.

  5. Hi my name is Anisa. Please pray for me. My husband emotionally abuses me everyday. Now he says he wants to leave and all those nasty things. He also has affairs. Please, I am desperate. I have a little boy who loves his dad and I love my husband as well. I don’t want to lose him.

  6. Hi my name is Rosie, please pray for me and my husband Brandon. We are at a crucial point in our marriage. We have only been married for 1 and 1/2 years He is controlling, has fallen out of fellowship with God, has a lot of unresolved issues from his childhood and it’s taking a toll on our family. I don’t want to consider divorce, but the emotional and mental abuse in the relationship is too much. Everyday it gets worse. I have a 15 year old son who has become his punching bag, please pray for us.

  7. My name is Krystle and my husband and I have been married for almost 7 yrs. We are currently separated and he lives with another woman, but I believe God has the final say and is the only person that can end our marriage for good… I’m asking that you all stand in prayer for us that God ressurects, restores and repairs our marriage.

  8. Please pray for me and my husband. He has really changed with me and I suspect that he’s having an affair. He is secretive, defensive, protective of his cell phone, stays out more than normal and have distanced himself from me. I am bitter, hurt, angry, sad, and wondering what I’ve done to deserve this. I’ve started to read “The Power of A Praying Wife and I’ve been encouraged and uplifted. I’ve begun to pray for my marriage, my husband and myself. I know I have a long journey ahead. Please prayer warrior stand with me in prayer. I want my husband back, the man that God gave to me. The enemy WILL NOT destroy us,

      1. I’m praying for ALL! Creator of the universe please heal the land…your people are crying out to you. Asking you to give them the desires of their ❤. We have the victory! Amen.

  9. Please pray for my marriage of two and a half years. My husband packed up and left without a reason but I know it’s another woman. I truly don’t believe God put me in a marriage for a divorce. I love my husband and I’m praying God intervenes and helps us reconcile. My husband’s heart is so hardend towards me and I’m so afraid I’m losing him. I need all the prayer warriors to intercede on behalf of my marrage.

  10. I need God to please give me grace to pray for my husband because he has placed me in a situation that makes me feel very bitter about him. He has hurt me so many times and continued to hurt me me.

  11. We married for almost 14 yrs and have two kids 6 yrs and 3 yr olds. All these years, my husband hides his marriage to his family abroad; holds me as well not to tell, saying his mom is a heart patient (which turned out not true) and assured he will take care everything on time. With that his mom did engagement of him to another woman with his consent; later when the other family came to know about his marriage and kids they cancelled the engagement. But this woman was already in the country where we are now, so she came and see me and kids.

    In the last 3 yrs my husband told he doesn’t have any relationship with her; and he said his mom doesn’t like me as his wife, so walked out from our life. But on and off he lived with me almost 1.5 yrs in the last 3 yrs. But last month I came to know that he’s is living with that woman in another province almost 2500km away (but still claim they are not in any relationship). Her family also wasn’t aware of this, and now they came to know about their living together and tried every means to convince her, but she is not listening or answering them. My husband never calls or sees our kids whenever he goes and live with that woman. He never pays a penny to our kids or me in the last 3yrs. Both of them made a lot of lie-story and badmouth about me to her and his families. Her family only told me everything, that’s when I realized his true colors.

    That woman knows he’s still married to me and has two kids, but yes it is their decision I know; but not sure why they hide and told my husband is living and working in another place which is closer to my town and he not see or visit own kids. Every day every single second I remember his lies and think how emotionally I was broken and cried every time he said (lies) about his living, food, stay, heath and travel issues and all. Whenever I see my kids faces it is very hard to control my cries. We both do not have any friends or family in this country. So, its very hard to go through or get any help at all. Now I know that I was trapped in for his and his family’s financial betterment as he has taken a lot lot money from my working all these yrs and put me in a high credit card debt as well.

    He shows care whenever he see the kids, but if he really loves them then he cannot live without see or talk to them, he talked to kids 4 times in 10months. I still love him I know, but now I know who he really is too. For my kids personal development at this younger age I want him back in their life, but not sure it will happen at least in their life. Please pray for us, Thanks.

  12. Please pray for my marriage. My husband and I have been unfaithful and we are trying to build our family again. I keep bringing up the past (even though it’s one word or what I think is a simple question) and it gets him really angry at me. Please pray for me to forgive him totally because I need the forgiveness, as well. Pray that I will forgive how rude and disrespectful the woman was to me and that I’ll leave it in the hands of God for justice. We want to be happy and not fighting. Thank you.

  13. Prayer request for my marriage. We have been separated for almost 4 years but have been in communication through all this time despite our separation he went to Central America approx 1 1/2 year ago. He stated he was going to see his kids and that he wanted us to get back together. Yet the time frame of a few months has extended to over 1 1/2 yrs. He was to come back on 3/29 and gave me a strange excuse and that he should be back if all goes well in 4-12 months. I feel as if I’m being strung on. I simply don’t want to be in communication with him anymore. I’m hurt and disgusted by him and realize I have not worked out my anger towards him. All that is floating in my head is divorce. Please pray the Lord’s will be done in my life and that I can let go of the brokenness of pain in my heart and bless him where ever he is, in Jesus name.

  14. Can you please pray for my marriage? My husband walked away 4 months ago and I still can’t find healing cos I love him so much. No one understands what I’m going through. No one can feel my pain and now I just want GOD to heal me because I can’t see through my tears the plans that GOD has for me. All I want is to see him in the midst of my tears and pain.

  15. Please pray for my spouse to continue to be faithful to me always, thanks. Please pray that Christ helps my husband not to see the European woman and still not sleep with that German girl please. Thanks a lot.

  16. Needing prayer about my husband,for his salvation, his abusing alcohol, not sleeping at home on weekends, just need God to intervene, I cannot take this anymore.

  17. Hi my name is Tina and my husband is Dewayne. After 19 yrs of marriage my husband walked in our bedroom to say he wasn’t in love with me and wanted a divorce. I was floored. I sobbed uncontrolled. I didn’t know what was wrong. Sure we had an argument before, but to leave? We have 4 sons together 15, 13, 17, 21. And on that worse day we found out we were about to be grandparents.

    To my surprise it was another woman who he had been talking to for quite some time. I felt it in my heart; he was being distance with me. Everyone us telling me to give up; let him go; get a divorce. All I can think of is God hates divorce; so do I. I still love him and still want him back home. I have been sickly for quite some time. He says he’s too stressed out and just can’t do it anymore but I just cant let him go.

    1. I was in your shoes, as I speak, and am battling with same issue but I want you to know that God who utterly hated divorce will fight this battle for you. Do not be anxious but on everything by prayer and supplication make your petition known to God and the almighty, all knowing and all doing God will give you peace that is beyond all understanding. Please make use of your kneels. Table it before God and see if that woman will not run away to an unknown destination while you take over your inheritance in Jesus name.

  18. I have been living with an (emotionally) abusive spouse for years. Recently the abuse has risen to a level that I can no longer ignore. I have been told that unless an abusive person admits to their problem and makes a commitment to change there is no hope. As a Christian I know with God there is always hope. I love my wife and I do not want to give up on her. I know God hates divorce and so do I. I also know that as much as I love my wife, God’s love for her is infinitely greater. I ask anyone who reads this to please take a momentmoment and pray with me as I give these problems over God and ask him to fight this battle and heal our marriage.

    1. Prayers for the verbal abuse to stop. It is extremely hard for change when the other person in the relationship does not see (have any insight) the problems with certain behaviors or hurtful words. I have been through similar circumstances this last couple of years. I have been to counseling and both of us together. I pray for God to show your wife how to communicate without the hurtful words. I also believe satan tries to ruin marriage and families. I pray away any demons/negative influences of marriage, for mine, yours, and anyone else in this boat.

      1. My Husband and I had a BAD fight last night. Now, this morning he is gone to work. I just got up and dressed.
        Usually, I at work by 9 am.(with Him). We have owned our own business for over 30 yrs.
        I just, don’t think I can do it anymore. I’m seriously thinking of just getting my clothes and medicine around and take off driving (the other way). I have No more fight left after 32 yrs of marriage.

  19. Hello ladies, I am a disabled wife who has a husband who has been more of a challenge than my health issues. But still God is Almighty. I was disabled when we met, and disabled when we married. I’ve been separated from him off and on due to his hardness of heart and inability to accept God’s ways and commands over the world’s ways. Yet I continue to be his door mat and forgive and be there for him every time the world for sake him. And once he feels he is on his feet again he forsakes me yet again with belittling names etc and being disrespectful and judgemental about my situation he has no clue about. He really takes me for granted and I work hard not to repay as God commands but I have to be honest I am struggling to keep on the right side of the fence.

  20. I need a prayer to bring my husband Varun back to me. We were married in 2013; we didn’t tell anybody for three years. I am waiting to get some answers from his family after years I told his mother we both are married. She said we don’t know now my husband Varun is also not calling me. Please help me.

  21. God bless you today. So many people are facing divorce and the families are being destroyed all due to the demonic attacks of Satan. Satan has been defeated already and we are not to give him recognition at all. When a man or women leaves you yes it hurts so very bad but that is their own free will, but there are consequences to what they are doing. We have to understand that we are victorious if we love God there is nothing that we can’t do.

    Wipe your tears and know that God is with you if your spouse leaves you shame on them just know that rather it takes days months years whatever God’s will is more glorious and he will take care of everything unveil the mask and know everything will be ok. Jesus is love.

  22. This is my second marriage. The first I was both the husband and wife, I battled financially. It seems like it’s happening to me for a second time. I am angry at God for sending two partners who use me. I am angry at myself for not listening to my mum when she did not approve of both marriages. I work and cover most of the bills, I cook and clean and do all the household chores. I am so disappointed in my husband because he lied to me about sharing responsibility. I only live for my daughter because she is completely dependent on me; I wish that as soon as my responsibility towards her is over that God take me away because I am so hurt, stressed, overworked and simply tired of life. When I talk to my husband he does not listen. I feel so alone and miserable. I feel as if I was deceived into this marriage.

  23. I ask myself does God really want us to stay in a marriage with a man who has been on drugs cheated many times, does not hold a job, and complains about every little thing, does not know how to talk to me, also said some pretty harsh words that hurt? I have been in this for 22 years and each time it seems to sting even more. So at this point I want out of this darkness. I mean this guy would break up stuff in the house when he was caught cheating or money for drugs. I just think that enough is enough.

    1. I don’t know the response you want here. You definitely have suffered a lot. But the fact that you said this under the article, “The Power of a Praying Wife” makes me wonder what answer you want. Is what you’ve gone through with your husband fair or good? Absolutely not. And should you allow it to keep going on like it has… I’m not thinking so. Does God want you to reconcile? Yes. But your husband with his free will is making decisions and choices that cannot keep continuing. God also hates abuse.

      If you haven’t already given up… if you haven’t prayed earnestly, and asked God for wisdom on how to communicate with your husband that you won’t live like this forever… I would encourage you to do so. And if/when you talk to your husband about this, it would probably be best to do it at a non-combative time (when neither of you is tired, hungry, or the timing isn’t a good one). Harsh words DO sting, and so do the other things you describe. You may need to draw a line in a sand at some point (soon) and tell him that either he makes better choices or he needs to live away from you until he can choose you instead of the hurtful ways he has been choosing over you.

      I’m so sorry for the ways you have been hurt. Your husband obviously needs to come to the end of himself before your relationship has a chance. He can’t keep hurting you in this way and expect you to keep taking it. Pray, talk, and see where it goes from there. I hope it goes in a better direction than the ways it has in the past. I’ve seen complete turn arounds, so I know it can happen. I just don’t know what choice your husband will make, as you pray for him and talk. I hope it’s a positive one –for both your sakes (the way he is going, he won’t live a long life… it’s too destructive).

  24. Please pray for my husband. He’s always cheating with me. My three children. And my husband. Ignored me and my children. I am too much upset. Life is so difficult. And single mother my husband gives his salary to another female. Please pary for my husband my family. Jesus please save my family. Prevent from divorce. Because I love my husband and children.. But my husband doesn’t love me.

    1. We MUST not lose our faith because of someone’s disobedience; I’ve seen it growing up and now experiencing it. I’ll keep on holding to my Almighty Abba Father and continue to pray for peace that is beyond my understanding. It’s hard but God says “is there anything too hard for me”; I love you all my brothers and sisters going through difficult relationships; I declare God’s peace and love over your lives.

  25. Need prayer for God to bless us with a baby …have two kids from previous marriage. Doctors have been telling me that it is impossible, had 3 miscarriages in the last few years.

  26. I’ve been struggling with this for over 4 years now but my husband is a pastor over a decent sized congregation. He has an amazing heart, and a love towards God. But one thing that he struggles with that I constantly have been hurting over is his addiction to alcohol. I don’t believe alcohol is bad but I believe that it is bad for him because of the struggles he had before he was a Christian.

    Many times, especially after he finishes a really good service and spends time fellowshipping with his congregation, he comes home so late, doesn’t communicate with me and I end up finding out that he comes home drunk as I wait in the middle of the night worried about when he will come home. I’ve been affected by this in the past and he knows how much this hurts me but now he figures that if he does it behind my back, it is okay. All I ask for him is to communicate with me but he continues to do it behind my back but it’s been causing me to not want to trust him or be emotionally connected with him. I feel so hurt and always in pain when this happens.

    I need help to pray for him because I don’t have any energy to do it on my own. It’s so hard. I want to love him and be compassionate on him, I really do, but it’s so hard because I’m also a human and I do have feelings too. I’ve been telling him how I feel but he talks right back to me and tells me to pray for him. He says I’m not really praying for him and if I do it’s out of hurt because if I was I would be more compassionate and be more sensitive to his situation. It’s just so hard. Sometimes it’s so hard to believe because it’s so hard to see if he’s even trying because he never communicated me. I’m trying to be patient but God, I need you to help me.

    1. Joan, I’m so sorry for your heartbreak. This is so very difficult for you no doubt, and difficult in other ways for your husband. As a pastor he has a bullseye painted on his back waiting for the flaming arrows of the enemy to take aim and take him down. If he goes down, so do many others. The enemy of our faith knows that.

      Joan, I don’t want to discredit your hurt, nor ignore it. Your pain is very real, and the enemy wants to take you down too. Please know that you are in a spiritual warfare battle. As a Pastor’s wife you especially have others who will stand with you in prayer, encouraging you in ways that you need it. I recommend that you go to the links part of the topic we provide for Pastors marriages at You will find several linked ministries there that are designed to help you. The web site especially comes to mind. It isn’t just for pastors, but for you too. You need others who can stand in the gap, praying for you, for your husband, and your marriage. Please take advantage of the help that is waiting for you.

      You are dealing with several issues. You are dealing with spiritual warfare that comes in being in the pastorate, warfare coming from just being married, feeling alone in your marriage –dealing with hurt feelings, and you are dealing with substance abuse. You truly need help to sort all of this out, to help you and your husband. He sure does need prayer. But so do you. I pray for you and encourage you to reach out to others who understand what a pastor’s wife goes through –those who are a safe place for you to fall, and pray for you. I hope you will.

      Please know that my heart goes out to you and my prayers go out for you. I pray the Lord helps you, guides you, comforts you, speaks to you, and works in and through you in this situation. I also pray God infuses hope into your heart that you will eventually experience better days –ones that will bring a smile to your heart. “May the Lord direct your heart into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.” (2 Thessalonians 3:5) “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ —to the glory and praise of God.” (Philippians 1:9-11)

  27. Needing prayer warriors to stand and pray with me for my husband’s salvation and restoration for my 10 year marriage. My husband’s name is Mr. Florence… My husband gave up on his family. I have so much love and compassion for him as I see his hurt and anger for so many things he has not let go of all the way from his childhood. Would love to see my husband a changed man who loves God. I pray He brings him home. I am his wife Esther and we have an eight year old daughter Paige. A lot of misunderstandings have been created by him, his mother, and his sister. I know who the true enemy is and want my husband back. He is in the UK and we are India. We have not stayed as a married couple since marriage.