Within your heart, you want to believe with every fiber of your being that your spouse will never hurt you again when promises are made that he or she won’t be abusive to you in the future. He or she may truly be sorry and may promise you everything you would ever want to hear, but that doesn’t mean that he or she will be able to keep those promises. Some abusers won’t and some abusers can’t. They may not have the strength within them (at least not yet, or ever) to stop themselves from giving into their impulses to hurt you when they become enraged.
So how do you know if they really will stop the abuse in the future and if they indeed have changed? The truth is that you can never be completely certain, but there are some signs you can look for, that may help you determine this as best as you can.
Before we lead you to the articles we believe will help you with this issue, we want to preface all of this by saying that the information we’ve been able to find is addressed to wives who are in abusive situations. We acknowledge, however, that in many homes it is the wife who is the abuser. We truly get that.
We try to find articles, which will help those who are being abused. But the majority of articles written address women as being the victims. If you are a man who is being abused, please accept our apology that we aren’t able to find many articles to help you. It’s not for lack of trying to find them (and we will continue to keep trying). If this is the case for you, please reverse the “he’s” and “she’s” in the linked articles below to glean from and apply what you can use for your situation.
With that said, below is a link to an article written by Brenda Branson, posted on the BrokenPeople.org web site, which we recommend you read to help you with this very issue. Please click onto the link to read:
And then from Barbara Roberts, from the web site Cryingoutforjustice.com here are some of the traits you should watch for:
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Another article written by Brenda Branson is posted on the Focus Ministries web site, where she discusses whether the abuser is truly repentant or is temporarily regretful. In this article, she gives you insight, which may help you to be able to discern the difference:
And finally, to learn more from an additional article (author unknown) that gives additional points to consider, posted on the Escapeabuse.com web site, please click onto the link below to read:
Filed under: Abuse in Marriage