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REQUEST FOR YOUR MARRIAGE.
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Keep in Mind:
“The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.” (Psalm 145:18)
“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)
“Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!” (1 Chronicles 16:11)
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6)
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“…Pray for each other so that you may be healed.
The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” (James 5:16)
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Please pray for my marriage. I’ve been married for 15 years and my husband had online flirtations, viewed pornography, had an emotional affair and cannot keep any promises he makes to me. We are in Christian counseling. After this last episode of a broken promise, I am contemplating leaving my marriage to get off this roller coaster. My husband has unrealized emotional abuse issues from his parents. I am asking God to lead me out of this darkness and get my husband to see the light.
Please lift my marriage of 25 years up in prayer. My 17 yr old son caught my wife and best friend announcing their feelings for one another. I am completely shattered. I have no friend to talk to now or companion by my side. The last few years I have struggled with deep depression over finances, but never thought our marriage was going to end. She always told me she loved me and we would get through. She blamed me for the emotional infidelity and will not even talk to me about our marriage. She tells me she cannot tell me what I want to hear right now – that she needs time. I spent 3 weeks at home trying to get through the day and night with no sleep and not eating. I have lost 30lbs in that time. I am trying to get out and exercise and get my mind off my situation. I have thrown myself into God’s word and feel so desperate. I could not take the silence anymore and moved out a week ago. I am in a constant state of high anxiety. Please pray for a sound mind and a peace to come over me. I am desperate for relief. I need God’s love to surround me and teach me what He wants for me right now.
Hi Ben, I can only imagine your pain at this time, and my heart goes out to you. Is it really true that you have no friend at all with whom you can talk? No family to whom you can go for advice? No other contacts at all? Then perhaps share your heart here on this site to start with. There are many who have gone through shattering times who have found solace, strength, and counsel through both the founders of this site, and the participants.
The following Bible verses come to mind… write these on cards, or in your mobile phone… pull them out many times each day and ponder them, think on them, absorb them and believe them. Post them in your kitchen, bathroom, study, workbench, car…
Matthew 11:28
John 16:24
Mark 11:24
1 Peter 5:6,7
Philippians 1:6-8
1 John 5:14
Psalm 23
Psalm 34
Psalm 91
Find new friends, seek them out prayerfully, trust God like a little child to lead you in this awful time… Ask Him to come into your heart in a new way, accept His love as real and eternal. Perhaps the following website will speak to you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCAwXb9n7EY
I believe this is how Father God sees His children… and meets them where they are… This is how He sees you at this time. WP (Work in Progress)
WP thanks for your prayers, I truly don’t have anyone to talk too. As an adult I have always felt I only need a few great friends to make me happy and unfortunately she chose my best friend so that is ruined. I am trying to stay positive but feel as though I am hanging on by a thread. I think of suicide many times a day, but am holding on for my son. I called several doctors trying to get in to see about some medication to help, but I am not able to see anyone for a few weeks. I will try your suggestion with these scriptures, I appreciate you reaching out.
WP thanks for your prayers, I truly don’t have anyone to talk too. As an adult I have always felt I only need a few great friends to make me happy and unfortunately she chose my best friend so that is ruined. I am trying to stay positive but feel as though I am hanging on by a thread. I think of suicide many times a day, but am holding on for my son. I called several doctors trying to get in to see about some medication to help, but I am not able to see anyone for a few weeks. I will try your suggestion with these scriptures, I appreciate you reaching out.
Hi Ben, You ARE hanging on by a thread! But you ARE hanging ON!! It’s not good for you to be by yourself though… if at all possible, you need to seek other people out at this time. When you involve yourself in other people’s concerns, your own issues tend to take a back seat, and actually become smaller as less overwhelming. I urge you to give that a try.
DO take the time to write out these scriptures and really think on them, and get them into your head. It will do you a lot of good- the effort is well worth it. “Staying positive” sounds good, but doesn’t work by itself for too long. Nowhere in the Bible are we encouraged to “stay positive.” Rather, to “meditate on His law day and night” (Psalm 1), to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17), to “cast all your anxiety on Him” (1 Peter 5: 7) … and “to set your mind on the things above” (Colossians 3:2) are all things we can be doing to take away such extreme pain.
How old is your son? How is he doing though all this?
I can imagine you think of suicide… I can understand this very well. There was a time in my life when I was in a similar place… was years ago, but something you never forget, as you can well understand. I refer you to the following website on that subject… I found this video clip to be very revealing and very encouraging… see what you think: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGQDkCi-OIY
I hope to hear from you Ben. I will look for a reply from you. Take care, and talk soon, WP (Work in Progress)
WP My son is 17 and he is the one that overheard them professing their love for one another and immediately came to me (that took guts). He is hurting but we are spending a lot of time together and living with his mom in our home, but trying to sell. He is seeing a counselor; he has been very strong, but no kid should have to be subjected to the selfish acts of grownups. I have a church home and am going to a depression support group (non Christian) and Divorce Care at my church. I am spending a lot of time in God’s word.
Today has just been completely overwhelming. I have a work confidant who is a leader in his church and has been listening. He’s in his 70’s so he has seen plenty of what life has to offer. I’ve also been reading several counseling books by Gary Chapman. I want to work on my marriage and get through this. My wife just isn’t able to tell me what she wants right now. I think that is what makes it so unbearable, just the uncertainty of everything. I am staying with my 80 yr old mother right now. She is very supportive and happy that I am with her; my father just passed in April. 2016 has just not been a very good year.
Hello, could you please pray for our marriage? My husband is obsessed with politics and I am sick of hearing it. He just a short time ago ordered me to pray, in my own prayer time, that Donald Trump will be elected president. I support Trump, but really? Trying to control my prayers even? He has said so many crazy things about politics I usually won’t even listen to his rants anymore. I just tune him out. It cannot be good for a marriage, but I don’t know what else to do.
Also, it is typical of him to try and control what I do on a daily basis, and lately he has been worse about this. This is hurting my ability to work with my clients in my home-based marketing business. I struggle to know if it’s God’s will if I give up this financially struggling business and focus on being the full-time helpmate he needs right now, or try to balance his wants with my clients’ needs, in hopes the financial situation improves.
Hi Ellen, I cannot help but ask, “Is your husband working as well? Or is he unemployed? Perhaps prayerful consideration of stepping back from your struggling business as you mention is a good idea? In general, as far as I know, it is more the man’s job to provide for his family. Of course the wife can certainly contribute, and these days her contribution is more and more important as breadwinner’s jobs are so scarce. But it is basically the man’s job to make sure ends are meeting, in my opinion. In any case, I don’t want to go too long… I will pray. Take care Ellen… Hope to hear from you, WP (Work in Progress)
Please pray for my marriage we have only been married for 4 years we have 3 children and my husband already wants to walk out of the marriage because he doesn’t see it working out. He cheated on me numerous times and doesn’t want to go through the process of restoration. My husband is not one to fight for things and is always ready to quit and I just pray that he sees it this time and will refuse to allow the enemy to trick him into thinking that this is the right decision. I have always tried to fight for him but this time I had to leave the house, not because I want to divorce but because I strongly believe that it’s time for him to learn to find the right in him for what’s right instead of me always trying to convince him. Please pray that he cuts off the relationship with the girl he cheated on me with and that he finds his way back to God so that he can honor the promise he made to me before God that for better and for worst until death does us apart!also please pray for me to remain strong and to keep my eyes on Christ and we are going through this extremely tough time.
Hi Strong Woman, Yes, I will pray. It sounds like this time your husband cannot take the path he is used to… to backing away from taking a definite position. It sounds like a good move of yours- to leave the house and give him the space to make up his own mind instead of your trying (again) to convince him. That took courage I am sure!
The following site is very good regarding the handling of affairs… it is very well written:
https://marriagemissions.com/getting-unhooked-from-an-emotional-affair/. Take care Strong Woman… WP (Work in Progress)
Oh wow “Strong Women” your story is so like mine!!! I have been through this for many years now and for the 1st time after so many years I thought of death being the only solution I am facing in my marriage. And unfortunately for me my husband is not a believer and so unforgiving. I am hanging on by a fast-tearing thread and don’t know for how long I can hang on. I am at a point where I cant even pray as I find myself wearing my heart on my sleeve and feel that Satan has used me a lot and I allow that! I am so confused as to what to do. I left him 2 weeks ago and went home with the kids hoping that it would open his eyes as to the seriousness of my unhappiness with him, but I was sooooo wrong; instead he is blaming me and my family for all that is wrong in our marriage! Maybe praying for your situation might assist mine as well! I will pray for you my sister and may the Mighty God be with u and the kids during this time and may u not remove your eyes from the Lord!
Please pray for my husband to stop seeing his baby’s momma secretly. He had an affair during our relationship before we married, 4 year ago. He had denied that he sees the child but I once saw a picture of him with the child. The child was also in hospital and I am definitely sure he was there. He asked me once if he could go to the woman’s house to see the child of which I said we should do it together but he refused saying it was too soon for me and her to be in the same place together and he wants to prevent any negativity. Since then he has never said anything about the child. It is wrong for my husband to meet with the mother and child secretly as if to continue a family arrangement. It is also wrong for him to spend money on the mother when or wherever they meet. It is money that I have worked hard for which he does not see the need to communicate to me how, when and with whom it is being spent. It is wrong of him not to consider my feelings but put first those of the baby mother. Of course he denies the secret visit but God, I pray for this wrongness which is happening in my marriage to stop. Two people who were dishonest cannot be gallivanting in shopping malls as if they are a family.
Hi Wife from S.A. – When I read your text, I cannot help but wonder why you married a nan who had an affair during your relationship beforehand. Why did you marry him, knowing this had happened? You husband needs to know in clear terms that you will not put up with this… otherwise you will very likely see more of the same. You seem like a very loyal person- your husband is fortunate to have you!!
Surround yourself with friends and family and church to help you through this… and yes I will pray. I am sure others who read your text will pray too… I hope to hear from you. Take care Woman from S.A. — WP (Work in Progress)
I ask for prayers for my husband Anthony and I, Diana. Our marriage is rocky and he is ready to call it quits. We have communication issues; he doesn’t want to hear what I have to say and he hasn’t been home for the past 2 days and the kids and I miss him dearly and only want him to be open to therapy together so that we can make this happen. I’m in desperate need of prayers for him to come back home and open his heart for all the evil temptations to be taken around from around him.
I ask for prayers for my husband Anthony and I Diana. Our marriage is rocky and he is ready to call it quits. We have communication issues. He doesn’t want to hear what I have to say. He hasn’t been home for the past 2 days and the kids and I miss him dearly and only want him to be open to therapy together so that we can make this happen. I’m in desperate need of prayer for him to come back home and open his heart for all the evil temptations to be taken around from around him.
Hi Diana, Yes I will pray. Do you have Christian friends who know you well, and who will also pray, and help you though this? In the meantime, you need to take care of YOU. Therapy and prayers will both be of great help for you. Perhaps you can describe your communication issues? It’s hard to know what you mean here. I hope to hear from you… WP (Work in Progress)
Hello, Thank you and God for this site…I truly needed this and after much prayer, I believe God directed me here. I love our God and have followed Him all my life. However, being human, I need Godly (and/or Christian guidance). I have tried to go through my own church, but after many months, have had no response. So again, I thank you. I need prayer for my marriage. We have both been married before. I won’t go into specifics unless you need it, but suffice it to say, our previous spouses left us (different reasons but it seemed to come down to the fact they did not want to stay with either of us).
I was alone 18 years raising my six children. I met my husband through a friend. We were extremely close, and loved God. We married believing this was a beautiful present from God. After a couple of months, I discovered my husband had an emotional attachment (affair) to two neighbor women. I had no knowledge of this prior as well as a few months after our marriage. He explained that he had created this ‘fantasy’ relationship with them for security as his ex-wife had done several things legally against him as well as refused any kind of relationship with him. They had only know each other a couple of weeks when she begged him to marry her. Once they were married, she rejected anything to do with him; hence he developed his fantasies. Now, he feels closer to these other women. He has ignored me for the last four months stating it is my insecurities (I have had abuse from my father and ex-husband) so he uses that against me. I’ve gone to counseling (Christian) and have been told I am not as insecure as my husband tries to imply. He texts this one woman consistently. I’ve just spoken with her. She always thought of him as only a nice neighbor. My husband has stated that he knows she’s not the one for him however he has fallen in love with her in his mind.
He now never calls me or texts me…he almost seems to be repulsed by me. And he has been drinking heavily. Even so, he always tells me how much he loves me, how he knows God brought us together, how beautiful I am (inside and out) and that he knows it’s all in his head about this woman. I want my husband to love only me…as he professed. I am trying hard not to cause problems. I’ve been reading God’s word as to how to be a good, Godly wife. Not to be a nag, or be selfish. But does that mean my husband can continue this? He continually tells me if I would just be patient and go with the flow, that all of his love, security and trust will transfer from her to me. If I let it happen. So, I honestly don’t know what to request. I am just a woman who loves, adores and believes in our God and His word. I guess I was too selfish as I wanted to have a marriage ordained by God, which entails us to love God first, then become ‘one’ according to His Holy word. Perhaps I want too much.
Hi Loriann, I wanted you to know that I just prayed for you and will pray for you and your husband. This Prayer Wall isn’t really a place to obtain advice (see guidelines), but I’ll make an exception in this case. We have other articles that you may find helpful on this web site. You can go into the “Surviving Infidelity” topic to read what we have posted there, with one of them being: https://marriagemissions.com/choosing-spouse-lover-love/, which you may find helpful to read. You can also go into the “Emotional & Physical Affair” topic to find more articles that you may find helpful to read (and possibly leave a comment afterward).
Please know that you are not wanting “too much.” It’s just that your husband is doing what he shouldn’t. He is letting his imagination take him places he should never go with anyone but you. Being “patient” and going with the “flow” is an unreasonable request. That’s not what marriage is about. He is to cleave to God and to you and to no one else. Please pray, read, ask God for wisdom as to what to do about this. Your husband needs a real touch from God. He is in a fantasy world if he thinks this is the way he should lead his life.
Here is something else for you to read and claim: https://marriagemissions.com/i-am-standing-for-the-healing-of-my-marriage/. You may also want to go to the Rejoice Ministries web site. Charlyne is a gem, and you may find additional help there. I hope so and pray so… I pray the Lord helps you, guides you, comforts you, speaks to you, and works in and through you in this situation. I also pray God infuses hope into your heart that you will eventually experience better days-–ones that will bring a smile to your heart.
My wife has been on a difficult journey the past four years (we have been together over a decade as husband/wife and 15 years as a couple). She survived cancer but it has put her in a tailspin. She has checked out on my children and I off and on. Made friends far beyond what is acceptable to our marriage (emotional affair), is being drawn in by parents that don’t want to let her go and live her own life (returning to the womb after major illness) and is now pushing for divorce for reasons that just don’t add up. My kids and I are in a form of HELL. We are hoping to get our mom and wife back before it is too late for our family! Please pray.
Wow….. God does know… and He does care…Do you have friends, a support group, other forms of support? So important… vital really!! God works through people in many ways…I will pray. WP (Work in Progress)
Pray for BC and D.C. They have been married less than three months and she wants a divorce because he has changed. Before they were married he was kind and would do anything for her. Now he always cuts her and her dog down and is very controlling.
Hi K, Aren’t BC and D.C. considering divorce far too quickly? You supply very few details, so it is of course very hard to say…. yes, I will pray as you ask. What steps is the wife taking besides thinking about divorce? WP (Work in Progress)
Hi Ben, Yes… 2016 has certainly been a trying year for you! I am sincerely sorry to hear of your father’s death. It sounds like you are in a good place for now- being there for your mother, spending time with your son; you are part of a depression support group, involved with Divorce Care, and you are reading the Word of God.
I am an American, I am 63 now, married to a Dutch national and living in the Netherlands. We have 2 grown children and 3 grandchildren. In our years together we have seen marriages break up over seemingly rather small issues…and other marriages survive and thrive after unimaginable setbacks and trials. Your wife says she doesn’t know what she wants, perhaps she is trying to say that she knows she is headed down a dangerous path, but feels powerless to change direction. Affairs are powerful things, and very hard to break. I know. I made that mistake myself. (emotional, not physical- just for the record) Thank God that ended many months ago. My wife gave me space to make up my own mind. She trusted me when I told her my correspondence had ended. I am determined to never violate that trust now. Maybe this is what your wife needs…. your trust? Very difficult I know!! Just consider it for now, OK? I will continue to pray. Talk soon Ben,
WP (Work in Progress)
Please pray for our marriage: This is a second marriage with both parties having older children 18, 25, 21, 16. We’re married 2 and half years. We’re both 56. My husband is very moody, shuts off if asked why? He gets defensive and refuses to engage, says he loves me, but is very manipulating and dominating. I am an attorney with my own practice and work full time; he is an agent–been at home for 3 years with a very bitter divorce after a 30 year relationship before he met me.
I cannot continue as we are as my husband calls my sons bad names, is rude to them, is up and down. One minute he likes them, the next he calls my younger son a faggot because he blow-dries his hair. It became very distressing. He always criticizes my own family and does not want me to visit them–is very possessive. I am walking on eggshells at home. Anger is his first reaction for anything and this explodes into a horrible scene. I do not retaliate. I am a peace maker and he sees me this as weak. I hate racism; he is very racist. His family says he has always been angry and bitter. My heart is broken.
I have moved out so that my children can also have peace. Their father recently passed away and the sorrow was deep. We need prayer for God’s wisdom, for my husband to seek the Lord and not be misled by the lying spirit, and for healing for the wounded spirit that has deceived him. He sees no wrong in his behavior at all.
Pamela from South Africa says: October 19, 2016 at 8:21 am
Please pray for our marriage: This is a second marriage with both parties having older children 18, 25, 21, 16. We’re married 2 and half years. We’re both 56. My husband is very moody, shuts off if asked why? He gets defensive and refuses to engage, says he loves me, but is very manipulating and dominating. I am an attorney with my own practice and work full time; he is an agent–been at home for 3 years with a very bitter divorce after a 30 year relationship before he met me.
I cannot continue as we are as my husband calls my sons bad names, is rude to them, is up and down. One minute he likes them, the next he calls my younger son a faggot because he blow-dries his hair. It became very distressing. He always criticizes my own family and does not want me to visit them–is very possessive. I am walking on eggshells at home. Anger is his first reaction for anything and this explodes into a horrible scene. I do not retaliate. I am a peace maker and he sees me this as weak. I hate racism; he is very racist. His family says he has always been angry and bitter. My heart is broken.
I have moved out so that my children can also have peace. Their father recently passed away and the sorrow was deep. We need prayer for God’s wisdom, for my husband to seek the Lord and not be misled by the lying spirit, and for healing for the wounded spirit that has deceived him. He sees no wrong in his behavior at all.
REPLY
Hi Pamela,
As a husband married 37 years, it seems to me your husband is very wounded and likely cannot see past his own hurt. It is very hard for many men to be unable to provide for their families- especially when the wife (as in your situation) holds a well paying job. It is therefore easy for him to believe the lie that he is not needed. Of course this is not an excuse for his behavior, but it could explain it somewhat. This combined with a bitter divorce can be a very bitter pill to swallow. If you can help him feel needed and valued, this cannot help but calm his fears. Sounds easy, but I know it is anything but that. It sounds like you are reacting very well to his outbursts……
You mentioned that his family says that he has always been angry and bitter. Did not not see this in him when you were dating? Did this remark come as a suprise to you? Or did you just “not see” or ignore this red flag?
I will pray. Please let us know how you are doing?
WP (Work in Progress)
Ooh wow “Pamela” its amazing how I read prayer requests and see my situation is some of these. “He always criticizes my own family and does not want me to visit them–is very possessive. I am walking on eggshells at home. Anger is his first reaction for anything and this explodes into a horrible scene. I do not retaliate. I am a peace maker and he sees me this as weak. He sees no wrong in his behavior at all.” Yours is my life exactly, its true God works in mysterious ways! I will pray for you sister and WP, I thank God for you.
Hi SZ, Yes God does work in mysterious ways… we have seen this many times, and there are always surprises waiting around the next corner. So good that you replied, thank you so much! I see many requests and read such tragic stories, and I write what I feel God is saying to me…. and I hope that the replies are read, and that the writers of the requests feel supported and cared for instead of forsaken and alone. Thank you :))
WP (Work in Progress)
We have been married for 25 years and separated for the first time in 20 years for 8 months. There is a lot to tell, but I am just asking for our relationships to God and each other be restored and all evil thoughts and actions be bound. Thank you for your amazing encouragement article of Save Your marriage alone. My husband does not know what he wants and really is not talking to me or seeing me. Our children 25, 20, & 15 are just trying to support us both but are praying for restoration. I just looked down on this page and saw that 5,522 responses to submit requests. I just thought I would share that my unique love relationship verse with God is Galatians 5:22 =) …thanks again Kayla (& Chip)
Hi Kayla, Chip, You seem to be well grounded in the faith Kayla… and it is wonderful to hear that your children pray for you. That is worth more than gold! Is there any chance that your separation will end soon? Are you getting along better now with 8 months behind you? Please advise? WP (Work in Prgress)
Kayla, a prayer for you: Dear Father, I lift up Kayla and her husband Chip to You, for You are the Creator of all and by Your healing touch, their marriage can be restored. I ask You to be at work in their hearts in miraculous ways. I ask You to bring calm to Chip’s heart and clarity to his thoughts so that he will be able to clearly see and desire Kayla in his life as his wife again. Help them both to know You as their Father in a deeper way than they have ever known You before. Create a passion in each of them to read and study Your Word, that it might speak truth to them and provide them with guidance. I also ask You to provide comfort to Kayla, that the prayers for restoration of her marriage to Chip will be answered by You in Your timing. I ask these things in the Name of our Lord and Savior Jesus. Amen!
Beautiful………..
Hi, I would like you to pray for me. I have been lacking sexual desire for a long time now. I don’t have anything against my husband; I love him very much and he has been very good with me. I just don’t have any sexual desire at all. He tries so hard to get me into the mood, and I have sex with him…just to make him happy, but in truth it has become a chore. I don’t want it to be like this. I want to be able to desire my husband, to really enjoy having sex with him, but for some reason I can’t. We have talked about this, and he is really understanding, but I know it hurts him, and that he needs to have a more active sexual life. And the fact that he is so loving and giving me my space, makes me feels worse, because he doesn’t deserve this. I don’t know what else to do…
You can pray, and ask for that desire from God Himself. God designed sex to be shared between husband and wife… It is His wish that husband and wife both enjoy these special times together! Perhaps you have a hormone imbalance? This can happen.. perhaps a very simple idea is for you to be checked by your doctor. Medications you may be taking can have a similar affect. Beyond that, are there events in your life, or influences in your youth, which have contributed to a poor attitude toward sex?
You sound like a very understanding wife and your husband sounds like a very giving man… you both are fortunate in this regard. Perhaps you have trouble “letting go?” It is hard for you to “allow yourself to feel?” This can happen too.
There are many good publications written in a very plain but repsectful manner about this difficult subject. One such book comes to mind- Tim LaHaye, “For Pleasure Only” – I think that is the title. Was written some time ago, very well done I thought.
God hears your heart… and knows where you are… Psalm 34 comes to mind….Don’t give up!! Only believe. Does not God say, “All things are possible for him (or her) who believes?” Mark 9:23 :) I hope these comments help…. WP (Work in Progress)
Thanks WP. We have thought of getting me tested, the problem is that right now, we are very low in income and cannot afford that in our budget. I have not had any trauma in my life, except I consider myself a prude, and my husband is very open sexually speaking, so I have had to learn how to be open in our sexual relationship. I’m very tired all the time, but I got a Physical Exam done, and there was nothing wrong with me, except that I was a little low on Vit D. I’ll keep praying, hoping that God gives me the desire to enjoy what He has made for us to enjoy, and please my husband. Thanks for your comment and your prayers.
Hi M, You are very welcome :) I sense from your comment that you are not happy with your own “admission” that you consider yourself a prude, and I have great respect for you for making this admission on a public forum such as this. And yet you do not know how to change your own feelings about or reactions to sex…is this accurate? I wonder if you have low iron content in your blood; this can certainly make a person chronically tired…as can low blood pressure, both of which are not helpful for promoting active intimacy!!
But I think that as you absorb a biblical viewpoint about sex, and take on God’s design / intention for sex as healthy and appropriate within marriage…needed and very important for a vibrant marriage union…that your outlook can and will change!! Read Song of Solomon. This is a very sensual book you know. By “sensual” I do not mean the “kinky Hollywood” humanistic view of sex…but rather an intense, vibrant, very satisfying activity designed by God Himself specifically for husband and wife.
The only occasions in which God speaks in a negative way about sex is in the connection of sex being practised outside the boundaries intended (within marriage of one ma to one woman) – in other words, adultery and fornication. Ephesians Chapter 5 speaks of how the husbad and the wife should treat each other…I’m sure you know of other Bible passages as well…Do take the time to get hold of quality books on the subject and read them with an open and prayerful mind. Two which come to mind are: Harold R. Eberle, “The Two shall become One” Winepress Publishing Company 1993 and Derek Prince, “The Marriage Covenant” Derek Prince Ministries, 1999. Cheers, WP (Work in Progress)
I did not understand how to respect my husband when I did not feel he had respect for me. I failed to let him know I loved him but he always told me he loved me. Family issues have ripped us apart and he has given up. I did not let him lead because I felt he was being aggressive and mean with my son and the decisions he was trying to force on me were not positive ones. Now everything has fallen apart. Please pray for us.
Hi Nicole, As a husband married now for 37 years, I would say your best response is to respect your husband ANYWAY. Doing things God’s way can ONLY result in a “win” outcome for you. You can respect your husband because God tells you to do that. When you obey in a faithful manner, God has His ways of dealing with your husband in His own time and manner, and He gives you what you need when you need it. I can tell you that, as a man, when I feel that my wife respects me, that this wakes up a feeling of compassion and extreme responsibility in me.
God also tells the husband to “love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25. When you take the first step and do the things a wife is exhorted to do, and trust God to “fill in the gaps,” I can assure you that He will finish what he has started. God can and will get your husband’s attention! It is a walk by faith, this Christian life…. Sometimes the “walk” is uphill, sweaty, tiring and seemingly unending. But somehow, the sun comes out at the right time. The storms always end you know. The clouds clear, the sun comes through, and you look back later and quietly say to yourself, “Wow!”
Surround yourself with Christian friends whom you trust and with whom you can share these things. Pray…allow Him to work…. do the things you know you are supposed to be doing. I have seen this for myself. If I am doing the things I know I am supposed to be doing, God has His manner of working changes in marvelous ways…If I get out of the way and follow His lead, things happen which I could never orchestrate myself. I hope these ideas help…. Give the above a try. You have nothing to lose :)) WP (Work in Progress)