Marriage Missions International

The Power Of A Praying Wife

I Don’t Even Like Him—How Can I Pray for Him?

Have you ever been so mad at your husband that the last thing you wanted to do was pray for him? So have I. It’s hard to pray for someone when you’re angry or he’s hurt you. But that’s exactly what God wants us to do. If He asks us to pray for our enemies, how much more should we be praying for the person with whom we have become one and are supposed to love? But how do we get past the unforgiveness and critical attitude?

The first thing to do is be completely honest with God. In order to break down the walls in our hearts and smash the barriers that stop communication, we have to be totally up front with the Lord about our feelings. We don’t have to “pretty it up” for Him. He already knows the truth. He just wants to see if we’re willing to admit it and confess it as disobedience to His ways. If so, He then has a heart with which He can work.

If you’re angry at your husband, tell God. Don’t let it become a cancer that grows with each passing day. Don’t say, “I’m going to live my life and let him live his.” There’s a price to pay when we act entirely independently of one another. “Neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:11).

Instead say:

“Lord, nothing in me wants to pray for this man. I confess my anger, hurt, unforgiveness, disappointment, resentment, and hardness of heart toward him. Forgive me and create in me a clean heart and right spirit before You. Give me a new, positive, joyful, loving, forgiving attitude toward him. Where he has erred, reveal it to him and convict his heart about it. Lead him through the paths of repentance and deliverance. Help me not to hold myself apart from him emotionally, mentally, or physically because of unforgiveness. Where either of us needs to ask forgiveness of the other, help us to do so.

If there is something I’m not seeing that’s adding to this problem, reveal it to me and help me to understand it. Remove any wedge of confusion that has created misunderstanding or miscommunication. Where there is behavior that needs to change in either of us, I pray You would enable that change to happen. As much as I want to hang on to my anger toward him because I feel it’s justified, I want to do what You want. I release all those feelings to You. Give me a renewed sense of love for him and words to heal this situation.”

If you feel you’re able, try this little experiment and see what happens. Pray for your husband every day for a month using each one of the 30 areas of prayer I’ve included in this book. Pray a chapter a day. Ask God to pour out His blessings on him and fill you both with His love. See if your heart doesn’t soften toward him. Notice if his attitude toward you doesn’t change as well. Observe whether your relationship isn’t running more smoothly.

If you have trouble making that kind of prayer commitment, think of it from the Lord’s perspective. Seeing your husband through God’s eyes—not just as your husband, but as God’s child, a son whom the Lord loves —can be a great revelation. If someone called and asked you to pray for his or her son, you would do it, wouldn’t you? Well, God is asking.

There is a time for everything, it says in the Bible and it’s never more true than in marriage, especially when it comes to the words we say. There is a time to speak and a time not to speak, and happy is the man whose wife can discern between the two.

Anyone who has been married for any length of time realizes that there are things that are better left unsaid. A wife has the ability to hurt her husband more deeply than anyone else can, and he can do the same to her. No matter how much apology, the words can not be erased. They can only be forgiven and that’s not always easy. Sometimes anything we say will only hinder the flow of what God wants to do, so it’s best to, well, shut up and pray.

This is an excerpt from, The Power of a Praying® Wife, written by Stormie Omartian, published by Harvest House. This is one of my (Cindy’s) favorite books! As Stormie said it so well: “I can think of no better way to truly love your husband than by lifting him up in prayer on a consistent basis. It is a priceless gift that helps him experience God’s blessings and grace.” Women who desire a closer relationship with her husband will appreciate looking at the power of prayer in marriage, as discussed in this book. With real-life illustrations, Stormie includes sample prayers and “power tools” —verses that inspire and encourage —to help wives rest assured in God’s promises of restoration, renewal, and growth in marriage.

— TO HELP YOUR FURTHER —

The following is a link to an article to read, which may inspire you to pray for your husband in a different way than you might have otherwise thought:

10 Things Praying for Your Husband Does for You (the Wife)

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Comments

539 Responses to “The Power Of A Praying Wife”
  1. Patricia says:

    (ZAMBIA) I want to know how to love my husband.

  2. Bridgett says:

    (US) Oh how I don’t even want to write this but I feel I need to get this out, I’m so desperate for our lives to get back where they were. My husband has started drinking and coming in late, not answering his phone. We’ve had our own business for 24 years and times are rough but he also just lost his sister and her son… first his sister and then 2 weeks her son.

    He has been more devastated than he shows others and will go along fine and things will be good with us physically and all and then he just stays out late from work and comes home from drinking and gets mad that I’m upset. I don’t know what to do. I teach 10th grade girls at church and work with youth a lot. He is a greeter and people have really been undergirding him but they don’t know this part. I pray for him and I feel so sick each time he does this I feel so stupid.

    I don’t know what to do now. I’m so afraid he is going to destroy all we built to this point along with our reputation and our families. God has blessed us and we don’t deserve it but I fear we are about to lose us and our business.

    • Patti from United States says:

      Bridgette -I have not experienced this situation, so I am not writing this from that vantage point. But the Spirit of God has shown me about what you have written. All of us as wives have been afraid of losing our married lives as we know them, or our husbands to one thing or another. As you pray for him in this situation and it’s according to God’s will, you can know He will answer in the positive, and with that you can know you will not lose what you are fearing, even if at times, it may look that way. That is a lot to guarantee someone, but I am basing it on the truth of Scripture, which is directly from the heart of the only true and faithful one, our God and Father.

      I John 5:14-16- “This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him. If anyone sees his brother committing a sin not leading to death, he shall ask and God will for him give life to those who commit sin not leading to death. There is a sin leading to death; I do not say that he should make request for this.”

      So, if you ask God to help your husband deal with his losses by coming to Him, instead of turning to other forms of help (as he has up until now) and that God would protect him from the power of the enemy, and that He would help you continue to be a yielded wife in his life as he goes through this, God will do all these things, because He said He would, and mainly because HE IS FAITHFUL to that Word. In this way, you will truly be a “daughter of Sarah” who doesn’t give way to fear. In this way, you too will have protection. I Peter 3:1-7, vs. 6 specifically uses this term for woman who are submissive to their husbands and don’t give way to fear.

      Don’t fear, Bridgette, but having prayed for your husband, according to His will, He will go to work on your husband’s behalf, fighting his battle, and He will do what you have prayed for and save you husband and your marriage. Trust Him in this.

  3. LaTerra says:

    (USA) Hi, I am 25 years old and faced with a big problem. I am currently a senior in college about to graduate and move on to a masters. I take care of my children and am involved in other activities in church and taking care of the house. I feel stretched thin and was diagnosed with major depression a month ago. With all that’s going on I have recently had a discussion with my pastor and he have given me advice to get a divorce from my husband. He said that God has been urging him to talk to me and to let me know my worth. My pastor feels that if I divorce my husband that I will have a very successful future and my kids future will be much brighter, as well.

    I have been married since I have been 19 years old (almost 6 years) and we have two beautiful children together. He is my high school sweetheart. For the past three years our marriage have gone south. We have been through domestic violence and continous arguments of little things that blow up to bigger things. He still hangs out with his friends from time to time smoking marijuanna. He has been a good provider for the household, so no worries there.

    However, I am over the physical and mental abuse. My husband feels that my mother and grandmother are too heavyly involved in our marriage and the parenting of our kids. It seems like he always somehow shifts the blame on me to make me feel guilty about what has happened in our marriage. He tells me that before me he never had a problem with abuse. I know he loves me but what I hear constantly is that “A man that loves you would not hit you or hurt you …he will only treat you like a queen”.

    I have been through so many things in my life being abused by my mother and losing a child that I do not know how to cope. I suggested to my husband that we should separate for a while so that we can each know what we want in life and out of our marriage. But now I don’t know if it’s worth the effort or not to try to repair my marriage. I’m truly broken hearted because I want to have a happy and loving family. I don’t want my kids to grow up in abusive home as I did and be in the same situation. I am a woman of faith and believe that God can truly change him. Others that I have come in contact with think other wise. Is it no hope for us? Should I just call it what it is?

    • Pavrone says:

      (USA) God bless you! I would question whether you need to remain under that Pastor’s teaching or not. God says ONLY for the cause of Adultery, does He allow divorce so…

      I wish I had answers for you. I endured my husband cheating and it nearly killed all of us. So much supernatural stuff over this stupid, selfish sin that wasn’t even successful and she says that by his nick name “LD”. She was trying to hang on to a house she couldn’t afford after her husband left her and mine is a lead engineer for his company. “The love of money is the root of all evil.”

      All I can offer is my sincere prayers but stick close to God and His Word and His Word is Jesus made flesh. Love and prayers…

      • LaTerra says:

        (USA) Thank you for your kindness.

        • Nell says:

          (SOUTH AFRICA) Jesus says, “because of the hardness of your hearts, Moses allowed you to divorce, but in the beginning it was not so”. So I would advise you to pray and trust God. I don’t have all the answers, but if there is abuse and it’s hurting you and the children, maybe you may separate and ask God to do His work in both of you. You need to heal, find hope and strength, and for him to change.

  4. Bonnie says:

    (US) He stops for a while, then he starts again. He says he loves God and Jesus, then he just starts drinking again. He says there’s nothing wrong with it. When he’s not drinking, he reads his Bible at work and prays all the time. Now, it’s Easter, and he’s drunk again, and he’s watching “The Robe,” like it’s some magic cure or something?? I’m tired. I’m just so tired. 7 years of prayer, and I’m so old now. I wish I was dead. I know that I can’t do that, but I wish I could just turn life off and die.

    • Star says:

      (CGO) Bonnie, I am so sorry for you! You have to remember you are a child of God and no amount of pain is worth trying to die. You have hope because you have God. Do not focus on what your husband is doing, refocus on Jesus being your guide; he will pull you and your husband through. You can’t change your husband but God can. Release your issues to God and let Him help you. You are a wonderful woman. Be blessed.

  5. KALLA says:

    (MALAYSIA) Ours is an arranged marriage. After engaged, he loves me so much. After 2 months conceived. My husband took good care of me. BUT NOW… IT’S NO MORE. Before marriage he promised: 1. he will always love me. 2. we will move to a new house, which is under his name. 3. salary more than RM 2000 and above. After marriage: 1. love less 2. bring me to his brother’s house. They have 3 rooms, one for his brother’s family, one for his mother and father and the other one is a praying room. So, because I am pregnant I sleep in a single bed in a praying room. My husband sleeps in the hall.

    It continued for one year. His mother always will ask me to do a lot of work and torture me a lot. Then, I delivered and got a baby girl. After 2 months I have problem with him. He sent me to my mother’s house. He said he doesn’t want to live with me. I and my kid stay at my mother’s house. After 12 days, he came to see me, and said, sorry, and bring me to his house. He said it was his house (but name under his second bro name’s). I lived happily without his mother’s torture.

    BUT IT JUST REMAINED FOR 1 MONTH. His mother taught him many bad things. If I cook he doesn’t want to cook. He goes to his mother house to eat. They tell him don’t buy anything for me. Nearly 2 months already he never eats my cooking, never sleeps with me, didn’t pay my car loan, insurance, top up me, ….didn’t do anything for me. Sometimes, he never even buys food for me. He only listens to his evil mother words and ignores me like that. I am struggling now… GOD also didn’t bless me.

  6. Angelique from United States says:

    Hi. So, I am 24 years old and have been married to my husband for almost 5 years. I just came across this website and well I just really need some guidance and prayer. Our marriage has been rough. In the second year of our marriage, my mom passed away and that took a huge toll on me. He blames that situation on our marriage failing… along with 1,000 other reasons.

    Anyway… back story: My husband is a musician, a singer for a Christian rock band. He came back from a three week tour last August and told me that he didn’t love me anymore. After that things got worse, he wouldn’t go to counseling to work things out and tried to sleep with a friend of ours. In September I left for two weeks, to give us space so he could see if he missed me… I got back and he didn’t.

    In October he told me that he was “done” and that he didn’t want to live together anymore. I moved three states away back home. December 5, 2012 he texted me and told me that he wanted a divorce… I received the papers yesterday.

    I don’t want to sign but I think he is so lost in the world and the sin of it that he doesn’t know God anymore… even though he says he still loves Him. I mean when we got married he would pray and worship and read his Bible. But now he doesn’t do any of that. It makes me sad for him. And to top it off… he has a girlfriend now and we aren’t even divorced yet.

    I really just need help, I am hurt and sad for him and our marriage. I don’t want it to end but I don’t see a way for it not to. I see the prior postings and see stories where miracles have happened and it gives me a small bit of hope for a second but I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like the situation is hopeless for our marriage, but I continue to pray for him daily, in hopes that someday he will come back to God. Thank you for listening, Angelique

    • Cindy Wright from United States says:

      Angelique, I just want you to know that I’ve been joining you in praying for your husband and your marriage. First off, let me tell you how sad I am for you that your mom died. You are so young to have lost your mom. My heart goes out to you. Having lost my mom a number of years ago (when she was only 56 –I was 35), I cry for you. It’s a great loss in many ways. It’s not surprising that her passing took it’s toll on you. I pray the Lord comforts your heart and helps you to live each day honoring the Lord and the memory of your mom, to the best of your ability.

      And to think that your husband praises the Lord with his music and yet he doesn’t “love” his bride, as Christ directs husbands to do. This is so very grievous. The fact that he can compartmentalize the two away from each other –loving the Lord, and yet abandoning his bride, shows how far he has fallen away from Truth. He needs A LOT of prayer –especially that his eyes and heart would open to and embrace the Truth of Christ and the mission we take on when we claim we are Christ followers. I pray for added strength for you and wisdom in how to proceed, putting one foot in front of the other –making one wise choice after the other.

      As for signing the papers, I really can’t tell you what to do. But I’m thinking that I wouldn’t sign them unless a court of law says I have to. I would quietly put them to the side –not making a lot of fuss about it, and do a lot of praying. This would not be an “I’ll show you” gesture, but one in which I would try with all my might not to participate in, in ending the marriage (even though you aren’t living as a married couple right now). I wouldn’t be vengeful or mean-spirited, but prayerful, concerned for his spiritual walk, and meek (which is strength under control). I would do what I could to take a quiet, respectful stand (unless and until God shows otherwise) to fight FOR my marriage (not to fight against my husband) in prayer and care. I pray God would show you how that would look, especially since you live three states away.

      If you go into the “Save My Marriage” topic and go into the Testimonies part of it, you will read and view one testimony after another of God helping spouses to resurrect dead marriages. I don’t know if this will inspire you and if it will happen for you or not because your husband has a free will. But the fact that he’s in the environment of Christian music and that he SAYS he loves the Lord… somehow, that gives hope that as you join God in prayer, He will keep pursuing him, as the Hound of Heaven, to speak to his heart. Certainly at this point, I would not give up. You made a vow… I encourage you to persevere in doing what you can to not allow that vow to be broken. EVEN IF your husband makes it so that you have to sign the papers and the divorce goes through, there is still hope. Cling to God and do what you can to walk in way of Philippians 4:8-9… “and the peace of God will be with you” no matter what storm comes your way. I pray that will be so.

  7. FRANKIE from United States says:

    I have been married 49 years, no way out. My body is suffering, just received another cursing tonight. My husband tells lies all the time and says everything is my fault. I have been saved and living for Jesus since 1983. Never stay in an abusive marriage. Run or you will end up like me. Alone, suffering.

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