Marriage Missions International

The Power Of A Praying Wife

I Don’t Even Like Him—How Can I Pray for Him?

Photo by David Castillo Dominici, courtesy of

Photo: David Castillo Dominici,

Have you ever been so mad at your husband that the last thing you wanted to do was pray for him? So have I. It’s hard to pray for someone when you’re angry or he’s hurt you. But that’s exactly what God wants us to do. If He asks us to pray for our enemies, how much more should we be praying for the person with whom we have become one and are supposed to love? But how do we get past the unforgiveness and critical attitude?

The first thing to do is be completely honest with God. In order to break down the walls in our hearts and smash the barriers that stop communication, we have to be totally up front with the Lord about our feelings. We don’t have to “pretty it up” for Him. He already knows the truth. He just wants to see if we’re willing to admit it and confess it as disobedience to His ways. If so, He then has a heart with which He can work.

If you’re angry at your husband, tell God. Don’t let it become a cancer that grows with each passing day. Don’t say, “I’m going to live my life and let him live his.” There’s a price to pay when we act entirely independently of one another. “Neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:11).

Instead say:

“Lord, nothing in me wants to pray for this man. I confess my anger, hurt, unforgiveness, disappointment, resentment, and hardness of heart toward him. Forgive me and create in me a clean heart and right spirit before You. Give me a new, positive, joyful, loving, forgiving attitude toward him. Where he has erred, reveal it to him and convict his heart about it. Lead him through the paths of repentance and deliverance. Help me not to hold myself apart from him emotionally, mentally, or physically because of unforgiveness. Where either of us needs to ask forgiveness of the other, help us to do so.

If there is something I’m not seeing that’s adding to this problem, reveal it to me and help me to understand it. Remove any wedge of confusion that has created misunderstanding or miscommunication. Where there is behavior that needs to change in either of us, I pray You would enable that change to happen. As much as I want to hang on to my anger toward him because I feel it’s justified, I want to do what You want. I release all those feelings to You. Give me a renewed sense of love for him and words to heal this situation.”

If you feel you’re able, try this little experiment and see what happens. Pray for your husband every day for a month using each one of the 30 areas of prayer I’ve included in this book. Pray a chapter a day. Ask God to pour out His blessings on him and fill you both with His love. See if your heart doesn’t soften toward him. Notice if his attitude toward you doesn’t change as well. Observe whether your relationship isn’t running more smoothly.

If you have trouble making that kind of prayer commitment, think of it from the Lord’s perspective. Seeing your husband through God’s eyes—not just as your husband, but as God’s child, a son whom the Lord loves —can be a great revelation. If someone called and asked you to pray for his or her son, you would do it, wouldn’t you? Well, God is asking.

There is a time for everything, it says in the Bible and it’s never more true than in marriage, especially when it comes to the words we say. There is a time to speak and a time not to speak, and happy is the man whose wife can discern between the two.

Anyone who has been married for any length of time realizes that there are things that are better left unsaid. A wife has the ability to hurt her husband more deeply than anyone else can, and he can do the same to her. No matter how much apology, the words can not be erased. They can only be forgiven and that’s not always easy. Sometimes anything we say will only hinder the flow of what God wants to do, so it’s best to, well, shut up and pray.

This is an excerpt from, The Power of a Praying® Wife, written by Stormie Omartian, published by Harvest House. This is one of my (Cindy’s) favorite books! As Stormie said it so well: “I can think of no better way to truly love your husband than by lifting him up in prayer on a consistent basis. It is a priceless gift that helps him experience God’s blessings and grace.” With real-life illustrations, Stormie includes sample prayers and “power tools” —verses that inspire and encourage —to help wives rest assured in God’s promises of restoration, renewal, and growth in marriage.


The following is are two links to articles to read, which may inspire you to pray for your husband in a different ways than you might have otherwise thought:

10 Things Praying for Your Husband Does for You (the Wife)

31 Days of Praying for Your Husband


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582 Responses to “The Power Of A Praying Wife”
  1. Patricia says:

    (ZAMBIA) I want to know how to love my husband.

  2. Bridgett says:

    (US) Oh how I don’t even want to write this but I feel I need to get this out, I’m so desperate for our lives to get back where they were. My husband has started drinking and coming in late, not answering his phone. We’ve had our own business for 24 years and times are rough but he also just lost his sister and her son… first his sister and then 2 weeks her son.

    He has been more devastated than he shows others and will go along fine and things will be good with us physically and all and then he just stays out late from work and comes home from drinking and gets mad that I’m upset. I don’t know what to do. I teach 10th grade girls at church and work with youth a lot. He is a greeter and people have really been undergirding him but they don’t know this part. I pray for him and I feel so sick each time he does this I feel so stupid.

    I don’t know what to do now. I’m so afraid he is going to destroy all we built to this point along with our reputation and our families. God has blessed us and we don’t deserve it but I fear we are about to lose us and our business.

    • Patti from United States says:

      Bridgette -I have not experienced this situation, so I am not writing this from that vantage point. But the Spirit of God has shown me about what you have written. All of us as wives have been afraid of losing our married lives as we know them, or our husbands to one thing or another. As you pray for him in this situation and it’s according to God’s will, you can know He will answer in the positive, and with that you can know you will not lose what you are fearing, even if at times, it may look that way. That is a lot to guarantee someone, but I am basing it on the truth of Scripture, which is directly from the heart of the only true and faithful one, our God and Father.

      I John 5:14-16- “This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him. If anyone sees his brother committing a sin not leading to death, he shall ask and God will for him give life to those who commit sin not leading to death. There is a sin leading to death; I do not say that he should make request for this.”

      So, if you ask God to help your husband deal with his losses by coming to Him, instead of turning to other forms of help (as he has up until now) and that God would protect him from the power of the enemy, and that He would help you continue to be a yielded wife in his life as he goes through this, God will do all these things, because He said He would, and mainly because HE IS FAITHFUL to that Word. In this way, you will truly be a “daughter of Sarah” who doesn’t give way to fear. In this way, you too will have protection. I Peter 3:1-7, vs. 6 specifically uses this term for woman who are submissive to their husbands and don’t give way to fear.

      Don’t fear, Bridgette, but having prayed for your husband, according to His will, He will go to work on your husband’s behalf, fighting his battle, and He will do what you have prayed for and save you husband and your marriage. Trust Him in this.

  3. LaTerra says:

    (USA) Hi, I am 25 years old and faced with a big problem. I am currently a senior in college about to graduate and move on to a masters. I take care of my children and am involved in other activities in church and taking care of the house. I feel stretched thin and was diagnosed with major depression a month ago. With all that’s going on I have recently had a discussion with my pastor and he have given me advice to get a divorce from my husband. He said that God has been urging him to talk to me and to let me know my worth. My pastor feels that if I divorce my husband that I will have a very successful future and my kids future will be much brighter, as well.

    I have been married since I have been 19 years old (almost 6 years) and we have two beautiful children together. He is my high school sweetheart. For the past three years our marriage have gone south. We have been through domestic violence and continous arguments of little things that blow up to bigger things. He still hangs out with his friends from time to time smoking marijuanna. He has been a good provider for the household, so no worries there.

    However, I am over the physical and mental abuse. My husband feels that my mother and grandmother are too heavyly involved in our marriage and the parenting of our kids. It seems like he always somehow shifts the blame on me to make me feel guilty about what has happened in our marriage. He tells me that before me he never had a problem with abuse. I know he loves me but what I hear constantly is that “A man that loves you would not hit you or hurt you …he will only treat you like a queen”.

    I have been through so many things in my life being abused by my mother and losing a child that I do not know how to cope. I suggested to my husband that we should separate for a while so that we can each know what we want in life and out of our marriage. But now I don’t know if it’s worth the effort or not to try to repair my marriage. I’m truly broken hearted because I want to have a happy and loving family. I don’t want my kids to grow up in abusive home as I did and be in the same situation. I am a woman of faith and believe that God can truly change him. Others that I have come in contact with think other wise. Is it no hope for us? Should I just call it what it is?

    • Pavrone says:

      (USA) God bless you! I would question whether you need to remain under that Pastor’s teaching or not. God says ONLY for the cause of Adultery, does He allow divorce so…

      I wish I had answers for you. I endured my husband cheating and it nearly killed all of us. So much supernatural stuff over this stupid, selfish sin that wasn’t even successful and she says that by his nick name “LD”. She was trying to hang on to a house she couldn’t afford after her husband left her and mine is a lead engineer for his company. “The love of money is the root of all evil.”

      All I can offer is my sincere prayers but stick close to God and His Word and His Word is Jesus made flesh. Love and prayers…

      • LaTerra says:

        (USA) Thank you for your kindness.

        • Nell says:

          (SOUTH AFRICA) Jesus says, “because of the hardness of your hearts, Moses allowed you to divorce, but in the beginning it was not so”. So I would advise you to pray and trust God. I don’t have all the answers, but if there is abuse and it’s hurting you and the children, maybe you may separate and ask God to do His work in both of you. You need to heal, find hope and strength, and for him to change.

  4. Bonnie says:

    (US) He stops for a while, then he starts again. He says he loves God and Jesus, then he just starts drinking again. He says there’s nothing wrong with it. When he’s not drinking, he reads his Bible at work and prays all the time. Now, it’s Easter, and he’s drunk again, and he’s watching “The Robe,” like it’s some magic cure or something?? I’m tired. I’m just so tired. 7 years of prayer, and I’m so old now. I wish I was dead. I know that I can’t do that, but I wish I could just turn life off and die.

    • Star says:

      (CGO) Bonnie, I am so sorry for you! You have to remember you are a child of God and no amount of pain is worth trying to die. You have hope because you have God. Do not focus on what your husband is doing, refocus on Jesus being your guide; he will pull you and your husband through. You can’t change your husband but God can. Release your issues to God and let Him help you. You are a wonderful woman. Be blessed.

  5. KALLA says:

    (MALAYSIA) Ours is an arranged marriage. After engaged, he loves me so much. After 2 months conceived. My husband took good care of me. BUT NOW… IT’S NO MORE. Before marriage he promised: 1. he will always love me. 2. we will move to a new house, which is under his name. 3. salary more than RM 2000 and above. After marriage: 1. love less 2. bring me to his brother’s house. They have 3 rooms, one for his brother’s family, one for his mother and father and the other one is a praying room. So, because I am pregnant I sleep in a single bed in a praying room. My husband sleeps in the hall.

    It continued for one year. His mother always will ask me to do a lot of work and torture me a lot. Then, I delivered and got a baby girl. After 2 months I have problem with him. He sent me to my mother’s house. He said he doesn’t want to live with me. I and my kid stay at my mother’s house. After 12 days, he came to see me, and said, sorry, and bring me to his house. He said it was his house (but name under his second bro name’s). I lived happily without his mother’s torture.

    BUT IT JUST REMAINED FOR 1 MONTH. His mother taught him many bad things. If I cook he doesn’t want to cook. He goes to his mother house to eat. They tell him don’t buy anything for me. Nearly 2 months already he never eats my cooking, never sleeps with me, didn’t pay my car loan, insurance, top up me, ….didn’t do anything for me. Sometimes, he never even buys food for me. He only listens to his evil mother words and ignores me like that. I am struggling now… GOD also didn’t bless me.

    • Blessid1 from Trinidad and Tobago says:

      Our God is a consuming fire. Let Him have His way in your marriage. He is our Father, and has given us the privilege to come boldly to the throne of Grace and Mercy and cry out to Him. He wants us to be happy. Continue to pray and intercede for your husband, and wait on God with an expected end. I have learned that just as God wants us to prove Him, He is proving us through our faith in Him -as long as we believe, we receive…

  6. Angelique from United States says:

    Hi. So, I am 24 years old and have been married to my husband for almost 5 years. I just came across this website and well I just really need some guidance and prayer. Our marriage has been rough. In the second year of our marriage, my mom passed away and that took a huge toll on me. He blames that situation on our marriage failing… along with 1,000 other reasons.

    Anyway… back story: My husband is a musician, a singer for a Christian rock band. He came back from a three week tour last August and told me that he didn’t love me anymore. After that things got worse, he wouldn’t go to counseling to work things out and tried to sleep with a friend of ours. In September I left for two weeks, to give us space so he could see if he missed me… I got back and he didn’t.

    In October he told me that he was “done” and that he didn’t want to live together anymore. I moved three states away back home. December 5, 2012 he texted me and told me that he wanted a divorce… I received the papers yesterday.

    I don’t want to sign but I think he is so lost in the world and the sin of it that he doesn’t know God anymore… even though he says he still loves Him. I mean when we got married he would pray and worship and read his Bible. But now he doesn’t do any of that. It makes me sad for him. And to top it off… he has a girlfriend now and we aren’t even divorced yet.

    I really just need help, I am hurt and sad for him and our marriage. I don’t want it to end but I don’t see a way for it not to. I see the prior postings and see stories where miracles have happened and it gives me a small bit of hope for a second but I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like the situation is hopeless for our marriage, but I continue to pray for him daily, in hopes that someday he will come back to God. Thank you for listening, Angelique

    • Cindy Wright from United States says:

      Angelique, I just want you to know that I’ve been joining you in praying for your husband and your marriage. First off, let me tell you how sad I am for you that your mom died. You are so young to have lost your mom. My heart goes out to you. Having lost my mom a number of years ago (when she was only 56 –I was 35), I cry for you. It’s a great loss in many ways. It’s not surprising that her passing took it’s toll on you. I pray the Lord comforts your heart and helps you to live each day honoring the Lord and the memory of your mom, to the best of your ability.

      And to think that your husband praises the Lord with his music and yet he doesn’t “love” his bride, as Christ directs husbands to do. This is so very grievous. The fact that he can compartmentalize the two away from each other –loving the Lord, and yet abandoning his bride, shows how far he has fallen away from Truth. He needs A LOT of prayer –especially that his eyes and heart would open to and embrace the Truth of Christ and the mission we take on when we claim we are Christ followers. I pray for added strength for you and wisdom in how to proceed, putting one foot in front of the other –making one wise choice after the other.

      As for signing the papers, I really can’t tell you what to do. But I’m thinking that I wouldn’t sign them unless a court of law says I have to. I would quietly put them to the side –not making a lot of fuss about it, and do a lot of praying. This would not be an “I’ll show you” gesture, but one in which I would try with all my might not to participate in, in ending the marriage (even though you aren’t living as a married couple right now). I wouldn’t be vengeful or mean-spirited, but prayerful, concerned for his spiritual walk, and meek (which is strength under control). I would do what I could to take a quiet, respectful stand (unless and until God shows otherwise) to fight FOR my marriage (not to fight against my husband) in prayer and care. I pray God would show you how that would look, especially since you live three states away.

      If you go into the “Save My Marriage” topic and go into the Testimonies part of it, you will read and view one testimony after another of God helping spouses to resurrect dead marriages. I don’t know if this will inspire you and if it will happen for you or not because your husband has a free will. But the fact that he’s in the environment of Christian music and that he SAYS he loves the Lord… somehow, that gives hope that as you join God in prayer, He will keep pursuing him, as the Hound of Heaven, to speak to his heart. Certainly at this point, I would not give up. You made a vow… I encourage you to persevere in doing what you can to not allow that vow to be broken. EVEN IF your husband makes it so that you have to sign the papers and the divorce goes through, there is still hope. Cling to God and do what you can to walk in way of Philippians 4:8-9… “and the peace of God will be with you” no matter what storm comes your way. I pray that will be so.

      • Heather from United States says:

        Angelique, (what a beautiful name, and I am sure you have a beautiful spirit!) I am in total agreement with Cindy Wright. Wow! What powerful words of wisdom and comfort! Continue to pray for him; ask the Lord to speak to you to reveal what you need to pray for in your marriage to save it. Always keep the fruits of the spirit in mind. Never be bitter or angry when communicating with him, and ask for the love of the Lord to flow through you when you are in communication with your husband. Pray that if there is anything extra marital that is seeding division, that it be removed in Christ’s name. Be patient, as God works in His time.

        I will be joining Cindy in praying for you. Be comforted knowing God has nothing but success for you and plans to protect you and prosper you, in your marriage and in life. God bless you ;)

    • Brittnee from United States says:

      I am going through a similar situation. Did you end up getting a divorce?

  7. FRANKIE from United States says:

    I have been married 49 years, no way out. My body is suffering, just received another cursing tonight. My husband tells lies all the time and says everything is my fault. I have been saved and living for Jesus since 1983. Never stay in an abusive marriage. Run or you will end up like me. Alone, suffering.

    • Heather from United States says:

      Frankie, I am praying tonight for you and your husband, for him to see the love of Christ and our purpose in marriage, and I am praying for Christ to lift you up and give you confidence and courage, and a love for God tg st is contagious. He does provide divine intervention. Even in the worst of worst, find your quiet place and pray. He is there listening. Release your emotions and hurts to Him. He will heal. God bless you and your husband. He loves you.

    • Paulette from Canada says:

      Frankie, I just saw what you wrote. It’s a year and a half later, but it broke my heart, reading that. I agree that abuse is not what God intended for a wife or husband to suffer, and it sounds like you have suffered for a long time. My heart goes out to you and I’m praying for you, wherever you may be in this situation right now. With love from Canada, know that you are not alone.

  8. Christina from United States says:

    What book are you referring to for the 30 days of prayer?

    • Cindy Wright from United States says:

      Christina, the prayers are included in the book that this article came from. Please go into the link provided to look it over. It’s a GREAT book!

  9. Annette from United States says:

    I want to know how to get past all the bad things that have gone on with us but it was before we actually married. We just got married no more than a week ago but I have taken him through so much and he is really a good dude, which I think has turned mean because of all my actions. I relly didn’t think much about when we was dating but now we’re married and I’m so miserable trying to figure out if he still loves me the same. My life has changed over night and I need help from God to stay focused and not get lost again being married to someone that clearly doesn’t care. I might be losing my mind… I don’t know, but I need help bad.

  10. Heather from United States says:

    Help in guiding prayer to change controlling husband: Good evening. I found this blog, and am looking for support to help me to change my marriage. The joy has been stripped from my home, and I would like to restore it. I often wonder if I’m not praying for the right things in my marriage. My husband is constantly in a state of inner rage. He keep his emotions quiet, and is not verbally or physically abusive, but he does know the things to do to send a knife piercing through my heart.

    If he disagrees with something (me talking on the phone, being on the computer, or even being out in the car to fix the XML radio with tech support!), he will give me eye locking piercing glares until I look away and sometimes will even say out loud, “I thought so.” As if trying to verbally or emotionally control me. Up until about a year ago, I would punish myself, wondering “what did I do, why can I not do anything right for him?”

    Something has changed and I feel myself withdrawing from him and feeling bitter, realizing it’s NOT me. I feel cheated! How did I marry this man, and moreover, we have three children I do not want to leave broken hearted over a divorce. He wants to move our family to live near his mother, who often treats me terribly, condescending, and excludes me while trying to “win the affectio of my husband,” and he excludes me and treats me as if I do not exist around his family.

    I have so much unrest inside me, but cannot even cry anymore. He won’t attend counseling. He did once after he had a drug sharing extra marital affair, but will not go back because “it didn’t work, and if we’re going to divorce, we’re going to divorce… it’s God’s will.” He grew up in an abusive household, riddled with drug use and abandonment issues. I need help in saving my marriage. I know God works miracles to change people, and I know marriage can be beautiful and God’s will is not divorce. Please help me to figure out what to do, how to pray, and how to win back my joy. Thank you. In Christ, Heather

  11. Carina from South Africa says:

    Hi there! I heard two months ago… the Holy Spirit revealed it to me… my husband confessed he committed on going adultery five years ago for a while with an ex, and with the same ex a year ago ongoing, as well. Been married for seven years. The Holy Spirit revealed it to me a day before our seventh anniversary 01 May 2014.

    He is still here… living with me in a single garden flat with our dog. I don’t want to feel him in bed; he now sleeps on the floor, can’t sleep on the single bed with two people anyway. I can’t see him naked, and I don’t want him to see me naked. What now? Thank you, Carina

    • Carina from South Africa says:

      He commited adultery with his first wife and two timed dates and common law wifes before he met me. The relationship was abusive… you can’t call it a marriage. I wanted him to move out but he got a job around the corner… he has to stay. But I won’t see him that much and I have more time for God in prayer and in the word to sharpen its edges. What is ideal after adultery… the first time? I don’t know!

      Men are interested in me. I say I’m married but are just friends and will be having the Holy Spirit in me!! I want my husband to court me, date me, send me flowers, spoil me, take me out and flirt with each other and fall in love and renew our wedding vows again. I am open for this now! For romance!!!

      I look differently at sex. I just want Jesus to pick up the broken pieces and make my heart whole again. I want to fall in love and be treated like a lady. I’ve got a five fold ministry gift. I’m a songwriter, and will perform my own songs soon. I am joining the church’s worship team with next enrollment, etc.

      Is it God’s will to give my husband a chance? Is there someone else for me? Why do I feel so uncertain and insecure Thank you, Carina

  12. Stephanie from United States says:

    I was looking for some prayers for my alcoholic husband. I am a Christian and determined to make this marriage work. As I read through the comments some of the advice was disturbing. There should be no encouragement to stay in the same house with a husband that is physically abusive. Please protect yourself and your children. Staying through adultery is a personal choice, but if you want to rescue a physically abusive marriage, please ensure that you have a safe place for you and your children. Pray from a safe place if you are trying to reconcile the marriage.

  13. Noleen from United Kingdom says:

    Hi. I’ve been through a separation since December last year. My husband has run off with another lady. I stil love him and we are still married. There was some evil forces that’s been used on him. I know God will break it. I just want to know if there’s a possibility that he will come back, because he’s not going for the divorce although he commitied adultery. I have 2 girls. Please help me or tell me how to pray as I’m in a situation like this.

  14. shelia from United States says:

    I pray every day for my husband. He calls me his soulmate, and tells everyone that he loves me. A month ago he returned home after us being seperated for almost three months. Everything was going well. On July the 7th he texted to me that he had an one night stand. I told him I had this feeling something had happen while he was away. Even told him I forgave him. We both said we loved one another. About any hour later he texted asking for an divorce. I ask what happen that he had change his love for me and ask how could I be his soulmate if his love for me had changed so fast?

  15. Emma from Philippines says:

    Hi, The past month had been tough for me since circumstances revealed that my husband of 10 years was being partly unfaithful having used the social media and texting and rare meet ups with that special friend and so he claims. My world was never crushed this way as long as I can remember; he was my only boyfriend (in a serious committed relationship) in my lifetime. He is responsible, loving and funny. He also became my bestfriend as I have limited my time with friends since I’ve had children.

    So one can only imagine how devastated I was to find out that my husband is spending some precious, secret, loving time with an attractive former classmate he found on facebook, chatting in the wee hours or while I was asleep, texting to each other, exchanging photos, planning dates, sending messages like how’s your day and exchanging I love yous. That hit me. I will almost lose my husband.

    The following days were chaos, roller coaster of emotions, so much anger, feeling of too much loneliness and fear; all these dawned on both of us. I’ve read and received numerous advice including separating from my husband, confronting or not confronting the other party, demanding from my husband, keeping my pride, going away with the kids and the list could go on and on. But no advice brings me answers or healing or comfort except this: praying for my husband. It made me realize that I’m also part of the reason he may have sinned, had a deeper understanding although not complete acceptance of the circumstances and this brought me utmost peace.

    I have learned to be happy once again, confident that God is watching or whatever may come up, God will pull us through. Prayers and prayers for him calmed the storm, still painful but I’m on the road towards healing and trusting my husband again. Glory to God.

  16. Vandana-londhe from India says:

    I have suffered mental, physical, emotional, cultural, spiritual manipulation and abuse from my husband for twenty years. My son has also faced it with me & I don’t think God would want me to stay in this marriage anymore like a slave as he has said in 1 Corinthians 7:14. I still keep on praying for my husband as he is a child of God and I will be held accountable for his soul. I think he also wants freedom from this relationship. I thank you for such a sweet prayer, which makes me come closer to God and expresses my true feelings. I will continue praying for 30 days.

  17. Tahiyyah from United States says:

    My marriage is failing. My husband and I haven’t spoken. I really don’t think he loves me and it hurts, but I don’t want to give up because I’m so in love with him. I’m desperate for him to stop being so narcissistic. I don’t know what to do.

  18. Sarah from United States says:

    Words really do have power. I pushed my husband away by the words I spoke in anger. He left me after 3 1/2 months of marriage. It was the worst thing I could have done to him. He is now having an affair and doesn’t wish to return home. In fact, he hates me.

  19. Abigail from Canada says:

    Hello, dear brothers and sisters in the Lord, I need your prayers please. I’ve been dealing with a lot of issues in my home, and family. The enemy is a liar. My husband and I have started fighting and above all his abuse I keep praying and trusting God that one day everything will be good but nothing… actually we are going to court on the 22 of April 2015. He was charged with multiples assault and I need to be there that day to witness it. Actually it’s not the first time for me to go and free him. I’m so scared that he will leave after I testify against him. I’m confused because we actually have 3 kids together. Please help me.

  20. Trice from United States says:

    Hello my husband has left his family for another family. We are still married. We have been together for 14 yrs. He has up and moved to TX. Its been real hard for us. How do I pray for him? What can I say to God? I know God is good and has been so real to me and my kids and my husband, but he has done this in the wrong way leaving his family behind. I know he wants to do better in making a good life but why with another family? I am a good, loyal woman who never has cheated on my husband. We’ve had fights but he has real love here with me and his kids. What should I do and pray for?!!!! Thxs

  21. Hurting Pastor's Wife from United States says:

    Hello, I’m reaching out because I am one who is struggling with a husband’s infidelity. I want so badly not to hurt so much but I can’t help it. I feel like I’ve been betrayed beyond words. He doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong and that hurts even more because I feel like I have given him my all. I can honestly say that I think I hate him right now for making me feel this way but I love him so much at the same time. How do I get past this? I don’t want my prayers for him to be in vain. I have always prayed for him, as my husband and as my Pastor. I just don’t know anymore, I feel mute because I’ve got so many things going through my head right now that I can’t even put it into words properly. I’m so lost!!! Please help, I could really use another perspective.

    • Cindy Wright from United States says:

      Dear Hurting Pastor’s Wife, How very sad I am for you that this has happened to you and that your husband doesn’t even realize the damage he has done to your heart, your marriage, your trust relationship, his walk with the Lord (because you CAN’T hurt Christ’s bride this way… ESPECIALLY a minister, and think that this would be okay with Him). He has obviously allowed sin to harden his heart. You ask how to get “past this.” Honestly, I don’t know. It will be a miracle in itself to get to that place. The pain of betrayal is so grievous that it’s difficult, I’m sure, to even think that there could be a time that you could get past it. But it happens. We see it all the time. You will never return to “normal” but you will learn to build a new normal, and hopefully, your smile will eventually return (as it has for others as they lean into God’s healing touch of comfort). But not right now.

      Please go into the “Surviving Infidelity” topic and read the quotes, articles, and testimonies there that the Holy Spirit, our Wonderful Counselor, prompts you to read. Ask God to help you to glean through what you are reading, showing you specific things He wants you to to take in and perhaps, even use in some way. There is even an article posted titled, “How Can I Get Past the Tremendous Sadness” that you may find helpful. We also have a “Bitterness and Forgiveness” topic, which you will most likely need at some point to read through because the enemy of our faith will try to have you grab onto bitterness, and hold it tightly to yourself because when/if you do, you will go through added agony every time you recall to mind the hurt of it all. Releasing it to God will be the only way to break free from that type of bondage.

      I pray that God ministers to your heart through what you read, and pray also that God convicts your husband’s heart to the gravity of what he has done so he can help you, and also turn his life back around in a healthy direction, rather than this sin-denying state he is entrapped in at this time. You both are in my prayers. May God touch you both in the ways you need it.

  22. Eugenie from France says:

    I love my marriage and always want to learn ways to make it a better one.

  23. Jennifer from Canada says:

    What if it is my husband who has the hardened heart and is not fighting for our broken marriage? I love him and pray for him everyday, especially since he has strayed from Christ.

  24. Kelly from United States says:

    I pray for my husband. He has seen 2 hurtful splits in the church he has grown up in and is over what he calls “organized religion”. He still insists that I go and take our children. I’m very glad they have a strong faith but it hurts my heart to see their disappointment in their dad for not going…not to mention the hurt in my heart that the hurt others dished out is more important than being in church with his wife and children.

    I know there’s more than that. He has a high risk/high pressure job and “vents his frustration” through his language & watching less than desirable shows on TV when we’re not around. I keep praying that he’ll become more Godly centered. Sometimes I feel like my prayers are being heard, but sometimes I get very discouraged. I love my husband and love our family. We’re very blessed with what we have. I’m just not sure if I should give up and accept it or keep praying and keep being disappointed each Sunday he doesn’t go to church or each time I see what he’s been watching on TV.

    • Cindy Wright from United States says:

      Keep praying and believing Kelly. I’ve seen miraculous turn-arounds and know that God answered the prayers of the faithful. Never give up… never, never, never give up. “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” -Galatians 6:9. I pray strength for you to NOT give up, and pray that God will draw your husband to Himself, opening his eyes and heart to His love and grace –helping him to be the man God created him to be. May he grab onto the mission to live the life and testimony of our Lord that others should have lived out before him!

  25. God from United States says:

    Malachi 2:16, “I hate divorce!” (says the Lord God)

  26. Jordon from United States says:

    I’ve been praying for my husband for quite sometime now. I’ve been trying to do the right thing, and let the Lord guide our marriage in the right direction. My husband is verbally and has been physically abusive. He belittles me, tells me that being a stay at home mother and doing housework is not a job, when it most certainly is. Even though I don’t get paid for it and he goes to work and makes money he finds the need to throw it in my face. I come from a pentacostal background. I’ve always been a free spirited, humble hearted woman. But now I feel as if he has taken that away from me. My spirit is broken. And yet I still love and pray for him. Am I wrong? Please help.

    • Sara from South Africa says:

      I need help. My husband drinks too much alcohol. I pray that he stops. He is wasting money and comes home in the morning drunk. I am so depressed.

    • beverly from United States says:

      I don’t think you’re wrong; I feel the same. I say trust God ask him to intervene.

  27. Beverly from United States says:

    I have gone through physical, emotional, and verbal abuse. I still love him. Although he cheated I try to say someday he will change. Then I had not noticed until now how he changed me. When I stood up for myself and argued because a part of me got prideful, but the bad kind the one God detests. I’m ashamed of who I had become to the person I love. He left me for another woman and on my anniversary he declared it. I’m very heart broken; can’t eat, can’t sleep, just constantly thinking of him. Despite everything I still want to restore my marriage through Christ – not the marriage that we had but one with God with more than ever. Don’t know if that’s God’s will or my will so I’m very sad.

  28. BeroOo from Germany says:

    This is a beautiful idea. I have a lot of problems with my husband, and I never thought to pray for him. I will do this, in the hope that life gets easier, better and prettier :) Thank you for this beautiful reminder… to pray for him.

  29. Angie.T from United States says:

    We’ve been married for 13 years. We have one son 12 years old. On June 2013 he started on a porn website and has been talking with same woman from the porn website. He has been sending her money since then. In November 2013 he went to Colombia to visit that women for 8 days. He come back home to tell me that he already broke up with that women. So I gave him another change. Since then I have depression, traumatic, stress and anxiety problems. One day when he was still in Colombia I got a panic attack.

    My heart is broken. It’s so hard to trust and believe him again. After 3 months I found out he’s still talking with that women on Skype. He tells me and promises me that that is the last one; he’s not gonna talk to that women again. After that I never had a peace in my heart. I’ve been worrying every single day that he’s still talking with that woman. We’re almost arguing every single day because I have a lot of anger with him because of what he’s done to me.

    Finally time goes on, in July 5, 2015, I took his cell phone and I found out that he has never stopped in 2 years talking to her and sending her money. He tells me if I don’t like it go file the divorce papers. So I have no choice. I went to file divorce papers, because I don’t want to get hurt again, over and over. He already knows that I filed divorce papers. Our file is still in the courts and still waiting for court date.

    I don’t know what I have to do. On one side i still want my family to work out but on another side I’m sick and tired with all h’s been doing to me. I still love him and care so much for him. I really don’t want to divorce. For the last week he’s been going to church with me. Before he never went to go church at all. But that does not mean I can trust and believe him. I’ve been praying every day for God to change him and break up with that women. My husband is 58 years old and I’m 40 years old. The porn women is 26 years old. So please keep my family in your prayers. Thank you & GBU.

  30. Beth from United States says:

    I need help and clarification. My husband is a binge drinker and occasionally gets his guns out. He has shot it once in the house to make me think he killed himself. Another time he was shooting it in the yard, which is dangerous. I’m terrified of him when he’s drunk. He’s verbally abusive and his anger often causes him to destroy things. I can no longer live this way. My psychiatrist and couselor want me to go to a women’s shelter. I’m afraid of doing anything against God’s will. I have no support system.

    Please help me. Do I leave and run? His couselor has confronted him and knows I’m serious about leaving. My sister who is very godly and a recovered alcoholic confronted him. He makes fun of both of them. Please help me!!

    • Cindy Wright from United States says:

      Oh Beth, I’m so sad for you that your husband has put you in this unsafe place. I’m also scared for you. I have to say that I love your heart that you want so badly to NOT do anything “against God’s will” that you’re willing to stay in a dangerous place. But truly, I can’t imagine that God wants you to make this sacrifice. In Malachi 2 He says that he hates “a man covering himself (actually, his wife) with violence.” There are other scriptures concerning living in peace.

      I recommend you read through the “Abuse in Marriage” topic, which we have on this web site. You will see ways that are suggested so you can better protect yourself in godly ways. You really need to get a fuller picture of what violent behavior can do, and how to protect yourself from it as best as you can. I also recommend that you visit Leslie Vernick’s web site at She talks about living in destructive marriages and how to find your voice. It would seem that you need this.

      Personally, I wouldn’t keep subjecting myself to this type of behavior. Either your husband totally stops drinking, or it would be too volatile to keep living with him. Not only do you need to protect yourself, but you need to make sure that you aren’t in a place where HE will be tempted to do violence against you. You’re protecting yourself from him and protecting him from doing something he will regret the rest of HIS life, as well. Getting to a safe place seems to be the next step. What you do beyond getting to a safer place, I can’t tell you. But I DO recommend that you get yourself better educated about violence in marriage. You have to know WHEN to leave, and HOW to leave so your husband isn’t as tempted to follow you when he goes on another binge. Guns and alcohol do NOT mix. You are in a very dangerous place. Please do what you can to best protect yourself. I hope you will and pray for wisdom for you.

  31. Joan from United Kingdom says:

    Thanks for encouragement from the power of a praying wife. I have been married for four years now. I had a quarrel with my husband who reported me to elders in the church. I was called and I explained what transpired. Most of what I said actually exposed him…things like him being selfish in his finances, not paying the rent, not contributing always to feeding us etc. What ignited the quarrel was when he never contributed expenses incurred when I gave birth to our first daughter. He would give all the moral support but when it comes to financial support, because he knows I can afford, he would dodge.

    I explained all of this and everything was eventually settled. However, he makes mention of that incident any time we have a disagreement. He will tell me I have disgraced him to the elders and that he doesn’t really care again if I report him to anyone. There were only two elders and my parents. He will sometimes embarrass me and when I complain; he will remind me of that incident. He bought a piece of land but did not include my name on the land document. I have brought that to the attention of his mother but he has not changed. This attitude makes it difficult for me to pray for him when he hasn’t a job. It us really difficult to pray for a selfish husband.

  32. Regina from India says:

    Please pray that my husband Eric withdraws the divorce case from the court. We have been married for the last 20 years, and now he has been blinded by one of my friends. May God forgives her deeds of action. Please pray. My husband is a nice man and now since last may 2014 he really doesn’t know what he is doing.

  33. lani from Philippines says:

    Please help me pray for my husband Gerard who is having an affair with a young woman from a drug dealing family. He is starting to be kind and considerate and has never left us but is still continuing his affair. She has a family too. My kids are affected already. Please help pray for the healing of my husband, my marriage, family and safety.

  34. lani from Philippines says:

    Please help me pray for my husband Gerard who is having an affair with a young woman from a drug dealing family. He is starting to be kind and considerate and has never left us but is still continuing his affair. She has a family too. My kids are affected already. Please help pray for the healing of my husband, the end of this affair, restoration of our marriage, and a united happy and loving family.

  35. Mary from South Africa says:

    My husband lies to me about the simplest of things and the most important things. My husband of 2 years whom I have a dated for 8 years, including the 2 years we have been married – had a child with another woman in that 8 years. He claims that he is no longer involved with that woman however he does not raise the child with me. The child is 3 years old and I have in those 3 years caught evidence that he had been to see the child without letting me know. He says that the mother of the child does not want me to have access to the child. I pray that he stops lying to me; keeping secretes and having secret plans with the baby-mama. I pray that the baby-mama let go of her vendetta to destroy our marriage and that my husband does not work against our marriage by perpetuating the problem. I pray that my husband is close enough to God such that He uses Godly wisdom in his life. Amen.

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