The Power Of A Praying Wife

I Don’t Even Like Him—How Can I Pray for Him?

Photo by David Castillo Dominici, courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Photo: David Castillo Dominici, FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Have you ever been so mad at your husband that the last thing you wanted to do was pray for him? So have I. It’s hard to pray for someone when you’re angry or he’s hurt you. But that’s exactly what God wants us to do. If He asks us to pray for our enemies, how much more should we be praying for the person with whom we have become one and are supposed to love? But how do we get past the unforgiveness and critical attitude?

The first thing to do is be completely honest with God. In order to break down the walls in our hearts and smash the barriers that stop communication, we have to be totally up front with the Lord about our feelings. We don’t have to “pretty it up” for Him. He already knows the truth. He just wants to see if we’re willing to admit it and confess it as disobedience to His ways. If so, He then has a heart with which He can work.

If you’re angry at your husband, tell God. Don’t let it become a cancer that grows with each passing day. Don’t say, “I’m going to live my life and let him live his.” There’s a price to pay when we act entirely independently of one another. “Neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:11).

Instead say:

“Lord, nothing in me wants to pray for this man. I confess my anger, hurt, unforgiveness, disappointment, resentment, and hardness of heart toward him. Forgive me and create in me a clean heart and right spirit before You. Give me a new, positive, joyful, loving, forgiving attitude toward him. Where he has erred, reveal it to him and convict his heart about it. Lead him through the paths of repentance and deliverance. Help me not to hold myself apart from him emotionally, mentally, or physically because of unforgiveness. Where either of us needs to ask forgiveness of the other, help us to do so.

If there is something I’m not seeing that’s adding to this problem, reveal it to me and help me to understand it. Remove any wedge of confusion that has created misunderstanding or miscommunication. Where there is behavior that needs to change in either of us, I pray You would enable that change to happen. As much as I want to hang on to my anger toward him because I feel it’s justified, I want to do what You want. I release all those feelings to You. Give me a renewed sense of love for him and words to heal this situation.”

If you feel you’re able, try this little experiment and see what happens. Pray for your husband every day for a month using each one of the 30 areas of prayer I’ve included in this book. Pray a chapter a day. Ask God to pour out His blessings on him and fill you both with His love. See if your heart doesn’t soften toward him. Notice if his attitude toward you doesn’t change as well. Observe whether your relationship isn’t running more smoothly.

If you have trouble making that kind of prayer commitment, think of it from the Lord’s perspective. Seeing your husband through God’s eyes—not just as your husband, but as God’s child, a son whom the Lord loves —can be a great revelation. If someone called and asked you to pray for his or her son, you would do it, wouldn’t you? Well, God is asking.

There is a time for everything, it says in the Bible and it’s never more true than in marriage, especially when it comes to the words we say. There is a time to speak and a time not to speak, and happy is the man whose wife can discern between the two.

Anyone who has been married for any length of time realizes that there are things that are better left unsaid. A wife has the ability to hurt her husband more deeply than anyone else can, and he can do the same to her. No matter how much apology, the words can not be erased. They can only be forgiven and that’s not always easy. Sometimes anything we say will only hinder the flow of what God wants to do, so it’s best to, well, shut up and pray.

This is an excerpt from, The Power of a Praying® Wife, written by Stormie Omartian, published by Harvest House. This is one of my (Cindy’s) favorite books! As Stormie said it so well: “I can think of no better way to truly love your husband than by lifting him up in prayer on a consistent basis. It is a priceless gift that helps him experience God’s blessings and grace.” With real-life illustrations, Stormie includes sample prayers and “power tools” —verses that inspire and encourage —to help wives rest assured in God’s promises of restoration, renewal, and growth in marriage.

— TO HELP YOUR FURTHER —

The following is are two links to articles to read, which may inspire you to pray for your husband in a different ways than you might have otherwise thought:

10 Things Praying for Your Husband Does for You (the Wife)

31 Days of Praying for Your Husband

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Comments

597 responses to “The Power Of A Praying Wife

  1. Please pray for me. I am in an abusive marriage. My husband beats me to the point of seeing him as a beast. I have been praying to God to save my marriage.

    1. In Jesus Name your marriage will be restored, your husband will realize the error of his ways and repent to God. Amen.

  2. Hi, I’ve been married for 34 yrs and I can count on one hand how many times my wife and I have been intimate. As a child she was sexually abused and she’s been to counseling; we both have, but it doesn’t seem to help. How long can a man feel lonely and not needed by his wife? I guess I’m just so tired I try every way to ask her, hold her, kiss her, but I feel like a bump on the road. I don’t know what to do. I do pray for us a lot that my Lord put a fire in her heart for me. Wouldn’t that be something! I’m also praying to God for others who need help. Please my Lord, help them, I ask. Please say a prayer for us. Thank you 😊

    1. Hi, I do not usually reply to comments but I felt the need to reply to yours. I do not know your wife nor your situation or hers with Christ. I was molested as a child and have been in therapy myself. Therapy, though, did not help me. It is terribly difficult to give yourself fully to someone when you have gone through so much as a child. Being sexual with someone is the easy part, but being intimate with someone is a whole other level for a woman who has been through what she has been through.

      It’s not so easy to want to be touched all of the time when you are going through so much in your mind and body. Until she is fully healed of all of the unclean feelings that she probably has, it will be hard for her to be that way with you. It isn’t your fault and it isn’t her fault either. You have to remember to be there for her no matter how she is feeling. I had fire for my husband but I also had PTSD so when we would come together I would have flashbacks. It is not easy to deal with.

      I eventually wrote everything out that happened. Literally every detail and I gave it to my husband to read. After that and a LONG talk with God I was fully healed of my issues. It takes time though. It took me many years to overcome those feelings. Your wife has gone through something that is not easy and sometimes is so embarrassing to explain to people because the feelings are not something often spoken of. I had a person who loved me (in his own way) and was never mean to me, never physically hit me and always showed me affection. Others have the total opposite happen to them. But when it’s the first it is hard to talk about because you get embarrassed at how you feel.

      I hope that this helps and I hope that your wife can come to peace with her past. It isn’t easy but with GOD it can be done. Just remember that your married for better or for worse. And the worse parts are what makes us stronger as couples when we can overcome them.

  3. Needing prayer warriors to stand and pray with me for my husband’s salvation and restoration for my 20 yr marriage. My husband gave up on God and his family. He did have an affair, which I forgave him for. I have so much love and compassion for him as I see his hurt and anger for so many things he has not let go of all the way from his childhood. Would love to see my husband a changed man who loves God and bring him home. I know who the true enemy is and want my husband back.

    1. I pray for the others above. Bonnie, I pray for you too because I’m in your shoes in which my husband also had an affair and contemplating whether or not to stay in our marriage because he feels empty, lost sight of God, lost passion for his job, overwhelmed with our finances, and lost feelings for me. Despite this, I want to save our marriage too. I’m praying for your husband and my husband to return and that God will restore pureness and love in their hearts.

  4. Being together almost half century coming February, I found out he’s been approaching someone from HCM. He just got back from holidays with his friend. I have peace since I know the Lord. But I wonder now is history going to repeat? The Holy Spirit tells me to be patient, 1 Corinthians 13 love is kind. Would like to ask your advice. Should I see his app or keep silent and continue praying to the Lord. I choose to be happy, things know less, hurts less. Thanks. please keep me in prayers. God bless!

  5. How really do I do this? my husband has had countless, I mean, it has been woman after woman for 16 years, sometimes several women at once. He has never been faithful ever since I met him and all these years/times I would forgive him thinking things will get better but it has just gotten worse. He sleeps with basically everybody, his friend’ wives, my friends, my sister and I just found out he has been having an affair with a girl that is exactly his daughter’s age. I’ve tried living by God’s commands, praying, fasting and now I’m at a dead end. I honeslty do not know what to do from here because he also doesn’t want to seek help and he doesn’t want a relationship with God. We have four young kids and I’m just torn apart I don’t know what to do

  6. Hi, my name is Christian and my husband’s name is Richard. He is in jail at the moment; he missed his court dates – not meaning to, it just happened that way. We went to see his mother in New York and while we were there her mother and brother put her in a mental hospital and abandoned her. She has brain injuries from a car accident in 2010 but she not mental. I found out which hospital she was in and would visit. Well, after she was there a week the Dr. saw she’s not mentally ill.

    I was called to the hospital to speak with Dr. They asked me where she was gonna go since her mother wasn’t safe and I said she could come with us. So that’s why he missed court because our visit turned into bigger things. We are back home now and she is also with us. My husband turned himself in to do the right thing but the court’s are really wanting to give him prison time. I really need lots of prayer for my family. Thanks, in Jesus name.

  7. Hi my name is Anisa. Please pray for me. My husband emotionally abuses me everyday. Now he says he wants to leave and all those nasty things. He also has affairs. Please, I am desperate. I have a little boy who loves his dad and I love my husband as well. I don’t want to lose him.

  8. Hi my name is Rosie, please pray for me and my husband Brandon. We are at a crucial point in our marriage. We have only been married for 1 and 1/2 years He is controlling, has fallen out of fellowship with God, has a lot of unresolved issues from his childhood and it’s taking a toll on our family. I don’t want to consider divorce, but the emotional and mental abuse in the relationship is too much. Everyday it gets worse. I have a 15 year old son who has become his punching bag, please pray for us.

  9. My name is Krystle and my husband and I have been married for almost 7 yrs. We are currently separated and he lives with another woman, but I believe God has the final say and is the only person that can end our marriage for good… I’m asking that you all stand in prayer for us that God ressurects, restores and repairs our marriage.

  10. Please pray for me and my husband. He has really changed with me and I suspect that he’s having an affair. He is secretive, defensive, protective of his cell phone, stays out more than normal and have distanced himself from me. I am bitter, hurt, angry, sad, and wondering what I’ve done to deserve this. I’ve started to read “The Power of A Praying Wife and I’ve been encouraged and uplifted. I’ve begun to pray for my marriage, my husband and myself. I know I have a long journey ahead. Please prayer warrior stand with me in prayer. I want my husband back, the man that God gave to me. The enemy WILL NOT destroy us,