What Every Husband Should Know About His Wife

We encourage you to read the following article titled, “What Every Husband Should Know About His Wife.” But first we encourage you to watch a You Tube comedy video for you titled, “Things You Don’t Say to Your Wife” written and performed by Tim Hawkins. It’s pretty good advice (and funny too)! Please click onto the link to enjoy:

Here’s another You Tube comedy music video for you, which you might find helpful (as well as funny). This comedy song is written and is performed by Dante:

And then, after reading the article below, we provide a link to an additional article to read, which could further.

And now for the article:

WHAT EVERY HUSBAND SHOULD KNOW ABOUT HIS WIFE:

Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, said, “Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question: What does a woman want?”

Well, Freud, may not have been able to identify the deepest needs of women, but modern research has. A wife’s most basic needs in marriage are: (1) to be cherished, (2) to be known and (3) to be respected.

She Needs to be Cherished

“I can’t understand it, Doc.” Doug was talking before he even sat down in my counseling office. “Lisa has everything she could possibly need. She doesn’t have to work, she buys lots of clothes, we live in a great place, we take wonderful vacations, I’m faithful—but she’s miserable.” Doug shook his head and said, “I just don’t get it.”

We talked a bit more about his seven-year marriage and how he tried to express his love for Lisa. “I’m not the talkative type, Doc,” he said. “I show my love by providing the very best I can for her.” This poor husband didn’t realize that his love-starved wife would have traded all the clothes and vacations in the world for a little tenderness from him.

Without meaning to, a husband can completely miss one of his wife’s most important needs: to be cherished. This need is too often overlooked by husbands because we don’t feel the need for it as deeply as women do. But that doesn’t discount its validity. Your wife needs to be cherished.

She needs to know she is number one in your life. If it came down to an evening with your buddies or a night with your wife, she needs to know you would choose her—not because you have to, but because you want to. What can you do to cherish your wife?

Consider how often you say, “I love you.”

Some men don’t feel the need to say it with words, but every wife has an insatiable need to hear it. Your wife also needs evidence that you are thinking about her during your day. A small gift or a quick phone call to say, “You are on my mind,” can mean the world to her.

As a man, you probably have no idea of the effect you can have on your wife by being gentle and tender, making her feel cared for.

…Does cherishing your wife mean sacrificing golf games, success at work, or nights out with the boys? Believe it or not, the answer is no. When your wife is satisfied in knowing that she takes first place in your life, when she knows she is the most important thing in the world to you, she will encourage you to do the things you enjoy. It is part of the mystery of marriage: When a woman is truly, genuinely cherished, she feels free to encourage her husband’s independence.

Does she feel important?

Before Doug learned to cherish Lisa, she would complain about his fishing trips. In fact, Lisa wanted a separation because “standing by a lake was more important to Doug than I was.” But once Doug genuinely made Lisa number one, once he began to express true tenderness, Lisa pleasantly shocked him: “I’ll cover for you at the meeting next Thursday so you can get an early start on your fishing trip if you want.” Lisa made this offer because she now felt secure in her position of importance.

“To love and to cherish” is more than a phrase from your wedding vows. It is one of the most important needs your wife will ever have. By meeting it, you are sure to build a partnership that brings you both pleasure…

She Needs to be Known

For a woman, being understood means having her feelings validated and accepted. That’s not as easy as it sounds. I’m a psychologist. I often spend my day doing just that with my clients. I know how to empathize with a person’s pain, to feel his feelings and convey understanding. But when it comes to my marriage, something makes me want to solve Leslie’s problems instead of understand them.

She will tell me about something and I will passively listen until I have heard enough and then, as if to say I’m ready to move on to other things, I will offer advice. I’ll lecture instead of listen. To this day, it often takes every ounce of self-control I can muster to bite my tongue and actively listen.

At least I’m not alone.

Consider this fact:

Men say three times as many words in public as they do in private, while women say three times as many words in private as they do in public. Women like to match experiences, to draw one another out, to volley in conversations. But when it comes to talking to their husbands, many women feel like the wife who told me, “Talking to my husband is like playing tennis with no one in the other court.”

To meet your wife’s important need to be known, you need to actively listen to her, reflecting back to her what she is saying and feeling, and genuinely wanting to understand her. This point cannot be overemphasized: Women need to have their feelings validated and accepted. They need to have you see and experience the world the way they do, instead of explaining to them why they shouldn’t see it that way.

 

Men have a tough time realizing that offering a listening ear is all a woman needs at times —or a comforting hug, a loving statement like “You are hurting, aren’t you?” or “You are under a lot of pressure, aren’t you?” Listening to your wife talk without offering quick solutions, is the only way to meet her need to be known.

She Needs to be Respected

Men are usually quite unaware of how much women need to be respected. Why? Because when men are not respected they react very differently. A man who doesn’t feel respected, for example, is apt to become self-righteous and indignant. He feels even more worthy of respect when others don’t respect him. He may even give less until he gets what he feels he deserves.

Women operate differently—when they are not respected they feel insecure and lose their sense of self. That is why it is so vital for you to take special care of your partner’s need for respect.

There are a number of ways to show respect to your wife.

To begin with, do not try to change or manipulate her, but rather, honor her needs, wishes, values, and rights. I know a woman who, because of her upbringing, valued the tradition of having her door opened for her by her husband. She knew the custom was old-fashioned, but it meant a lot to her. For that reason she asked her husband to do it.

Her husband never took her request seriously. “You’re kidding, right?” he’d say. “Nobody does that anymore. That’s the reason why we’ve got power locks on the car.” This husband laughed off his wife’s request, and weakened his opportunity to meet one of his wife’s deepest needs —to be respected.

Respecting your wife also means including her in decisions.

I am always amazed when I find a husband who wields all the power in a marriage. He makes all the decisions, regardless of what his wife thinks. I know of men who make decisions about relocating to a new job in another part of the country without consulting their wives. There isn’t a quicker way to tear down a woman’s sense of self and ruin the possibility of a happy marriage.

Build your wife’s self-esteem and sense of security by asking for her input whenever you can, even on the small things. When you make a decision that might affect her, say: “I’m thinking about. What do you think of that?” or “I’m thinking we should. What would you like?”

Be supportive and accepting

Respect says, “I support you; you are valuable to me. You don’t have to be any different from who you are.” In return for this respect, a woman will be able to relax. She will not have a compulsive need to prove herself as an equal, but will automatically feel and be equal. What a wonderful way to live with a woman!

This article, written by Les Parrott, comes from the book, Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. It is written by Dr. Les Parrott and Dr. Leslie Parrott, published by Zondervan Publishing. As psychologist (Les) and marriage and family therapist (Leslie) counsel hundreds of married couples. They have “learned that living happily ever after is less a mystery than a mastery of certain skills.”

They have also written two workbooks as companions to this book —one for the man and one for the woman. “The twenty-one self-tests in the workbooks will help you and your partner put into action what is taught in this book.” As an additional help, they have provided questions for reflection at the end of each chapter. These questions are suitable as discussion starters for couples or small groups.

— ALSO —

Below is a Crosswalk.com web site link to an article written by a pastoral counselor. Please click onto the following link to read:

FOR MEN ONLY: A HUSBAND’S PERSONAL CHECKLIST

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124 responses to “What Every Husband Should Know About His Wife

  1. Hello, I am 30 and my wife is 24 now. We have been married for 2 years and we have a 9 months old son. We live in a country where sex before marriage is totally not accepted. We met 4.5 years ago and started dating. Like any other couples we flirted, kissed and even had some physical action. Three months later while hiking in the woods we got physical and I accidentally made her lose her virginity with my finger. We never planned this to happen. I was totally scared and didn’t know what to do. She was like “it’s OK; don’t worry, don’t let this affect our relation even if things don’t work out, don’t let it affect your decision if you are not happy with me.” She said this every time I tried to talk to her about what happened and what she wants me to do.

    After that everything was great and we got engaged for a year before marriage. Since we got married we had ups and downs like any other married couple and she always says that I don’t talk much when I come home from work and don’t take care of her so much. And yes, I’m not a talkative person and over simplify things and maybe take her for granted.

    Two weeks ago she came to me crying and told me that she was not happy anymore because she tried to fix things so many times and every time she talks to me I get better and things get great for 2 months and then I go back to the way I was before. She said a friend took care of her and gave her attention more than I did when she needed someone to talk to, when hurt because of my neglect, while I should be the one doing this because I am her husband, and not the other guy.

    she said she pretended to be so strong all the time even when she lost her virginity and she said she only married me for that reason because she was young and afraid if her parents found out and didn’t know what else to do. And she never told me that before because she didn’t want to hurt me but she couldn’t anymore.

    Since we met she always told me that she doesn’t believe in love and she believes in actions and happiness. Things were great and she was so happy to be with me. I treated her right and she even said that in a certain period I made her love me because of the way I treated her and now she doesn’t want to give affection and doesn’t want affection in return anymore. She will keep taking care of the house and me, and cook for me and take care of our son and everything else, just like before, but of course no sexual or emotional life and our son will be her only interest. She wants me not to ask for anything more than that. And she is still my wife only because it was a decision she took.

    I’m so deeply in love with her and would do anything to fix our marriage but she said that I can’t fix anything anymore. She doesn’t want me to fix anything and she will not love me again whatever I would do or change because I’ll go back to the same way we are now and she will get hurt again. Now she stopped talking to me the way we did before unless it is something about our son. She says that she doesn’t want me to get her involved in anything concerning my own life and not to interfere in her own life as well. When I ask her how she’s doing or anything about her she says “don’t worry about me, just take care of yourself”.

    She still decorates the house and buys new stuff for the house, and asks me my opinion before she does. When I come home from work she asks me if I had lunch and if I want to eat. If I say I didn’t have lunch she asks me what I want to eat and if I say I will just prepare any sandwich (considering she’s tired being all day with our son and taking care of the house and daily chores) she gets angry and says “you act like a little child; this is not enough food to give you energy I’ll prepare what I want.”

    Now I understand she is hurt and I changed a lot recently and I know my mistakes. But I just didn’t know better before and now I learned the hard way. I need another chance from her to show her that I really changed and I understand my flaws. I told her that but she said (in sarcasm) “heh yeah, it’s too early to understand.” Please help me with some advice on what I should do to gain her trust again and soften her heart.

    1. I couldn’t agree more. Especially the part about respecting your wife. My husband has no idea that he is not showing respect when he makes decisions without me or without talking to me about it first. It has created a real resentment and rift between us. Unfortunately I am reacting to it angrily and it is creating some serious problems not only in our relationship but in our family. My daughter blames me and sides with her dad. She also no longer comes to me to ask permission for things but consults with him and he makes the decision without me.

      And, to make matters worse sometimes the decision he makes also effects me as well. Recently that happened where he answered yes to something that I would have said no to. He insisted that she asked us both because she asked him right in front of me and that I simply forgot. I remember no such communication and even if it did occur, he fails to see that the matter was not directly discussed with me and that an answer was not given by me, whether she asked in front of me or not. It is possible that I did not hear the question, which is obviously the case here.

      He also feels it is his right to make major decisions in the house since he is the major bread winner in the family, which he has said on many occasions. He doesn’t pick up behind himself and neither does my daughter, although she is better about it than he is. His argument is that he works all day to keep the family going so he shouldn’t have to. I tell him I am not a maid and that plenty of men that are not married do their own laundry and pick up their own homes without expecting someone else to do it. Working all day is not an excuse to expect someone else to clean up after you.

      I’m at a point where I want to escape the situation. I love my daughter dearly and she’s the one person in my life that I would do anything for but I feel he is managing to pull her to his side. I know that I’m reacting angrily and sometimes violently but I can’t seem to make the two of them (especially my husband) realize that his actions are not respectful and not conducive to a good marriage.

  2. I love my husband dearly; we’ve been together over 4 years, married 2 1/2. I’m very nervous about bringing up the subject, but when I cudddle up to him, he just sits there. When the dogs come up to him, he pets and cuddles with them and talks baby talk to them. If I bring up how I’d like more affection he gets upset and says “everything is my fault.” Then I feel this knot in my stomach, and wonder if I should leave. I know he needs counseling; I’ve started going, and he doesnt know. I think if I did tell him he would think it was all his fault, again. I think he would benefit if he went, but I’m sure he would reject that idea, because he says I’m trying to change him. I said, I’m not trying to change you, I’m just telling you what I need.

    He’s a VERY good provider. I have a beautiful home (which is not in my name), a newer car; he’s always buying me new appliances, but I probably get 1 or 2 hugs a week. And he only says “I love you” really really quick if he’s on the phone with me, like he wants to get it over with and end the conversation.

    My therapist says I need to detatch and make myself happy and stop focusing on him so much. I don’t do little things for him any more, like brushing his hair, give back rubs, or cut his toenails. Sometimes I dont cook in the evenings now, because im so tired from work. I think he secretly resents it, because I’ve always done those things. I know he has a bad track record with women, and I as well with men. I just feel so needy and it’s embarrasing! I’ve always been independent to some extent, but I really dont want to leave, because he has a good heart and many other qualities I find to be valuable.

    I do know if I start telling him he’s a good provider, has a loving heart, and that I love him dearly, I feel his heart could come out. But really, the only time he’s affectionate is when he’s been drinking ALOT. But then he goes overboard and gets sloppy and embarrassing. I feel sorry alot of times, because he’s old and worn out from work, and worrying about things. Now I’m planning to go to a womens group 1 night a week, but I’m afraid he’ll think thats his fault too. I just don’t know what else to do short of leaving.

  3. My name is Moses I have a problem with my wife. We got married in 2012. She left me on December 2015 because I lost my job. She just says to me I am going home to refresh my mind and from December and January no call from her, in February I tried to call her to check on her asking how she was coping there with my boy because she left with him. I love her very much and I don’t want to lose her.

    We are in treatment. I love her the way she is. On Valentine’s Day I tried to surprise her by visiting without telling her that I was coming to spend with her the day of Valentine’s. It was bad day for me and I ended up wanting to take my life myself because of cheating of my wife. So I’m writing so I can get advice. Please help. I’m not coping well. We are HIV positive, all off us. We met because of this treatment so that we can take care of ourselves. Advise me please before I take my life. I know this is not the end of the world but do care of that worman.

    1. Dear Moses, I am so sorry, brother for all of the pain you are experiencing in your life. I know it seems like God isn’t listening to your prayers because of everything you are going through. But the fact you wrote on our web site shows you that He is trying to reach out to you to give you some hope. You simply can’t go through ALL of this alone. You need someone to talk with who can guide you and comfort you in an effort to find a solution. There is a ministry in South Africa called Focus On The Family-South Africa. They are located in Durban, but even if you are not close to their offices they can still get help as they do telephone counseling as well as e-mail. Here is their contact information that I want you to use and contact them as soon as possible, okay? — Due to the growing need and the demand for face-to-face counselling it has become necessary for Focus on the Family to establish an on-campus Counselling Centre to meet the needs of Christians and others both local and in the wider Durban area. Should you wish to make an appointment or need further information regarding this facility, kindly contact us.

      Contact Information:
      Monday – Friday 8:30 to 4:00 pm at the following:

      Tel: +27 31 716 3300
      Fax: +27 31 766 1113

      E-mail: correspondence@fotf.co.za
      Private Bag X1023,
      Hillcrest 3650
      KwaZulu Natal.
      …………..
      Moses, I can’t stress enough that suicide is NOT God’s plan for your life. I am convinced that when you reach out to Focus On The Family you will begin to find hope and healing. Blessings, Brother! ~ Steve Wright

  4. I got divorced in 2007 because my ex was emotionally abusing me and I couldnt handle the pain anymore. It got to a stage my heart had hardened and my tears had dried up. Then after 3 months of being divorced I met a man through friends of mine, whom I sm married to today.

    In the beginning he was great; he went the extra mile but he cheated on me once. I forgave him and took him back… My biggest problem is that he doesn’t cherish me. He buys me everything I want, he looks after homeless people, he will treat kids with love and care, no matter whose kids they are, but he has very little to no time for me.

    He worries about his cars all the time. We cannot spend time alone because he is either too tired (sleeps instantly) or he’s busy on his ipad checking for cars/parts. He makes his own decisions and foes not ask my opinion. We were traditionally married but we are not legally married as we have never been registered. Whenever I bring up the topic about getting registered he gets angry.

    All we ever say to each other now is hi and bye… I have approacged him several times and he says sorry, we kiss and make up but a day later it’s back to square one. It’s our 5th wedding anniversary this Friday. And it’s also my granddaughter’s 1st birthday so we decided to put our celebrations on hold for our angel. I dont know what to do. I feel rejected, hurt, unloved. I feel it’s better to get rid of myself.

  5. I live in South Africa. My wife of 4 years makes too many unilateral decisions. She has done this for the past years we have been together and yet even though I sometimes show her I don’t like it she continues with her way. I asked her parents and sisters for advice and help but nothing changed. Seeing that it doesn’t help, I asked her for us to visit a marriage counselor but she always has work excuses and says she doesn’t have time. This decision is making me sad. I sometimes don’t get an erection when I am in bed with her. She made the decision to take her female co workers to an out of country trip for a week without my consent. I just heard of it when I picked her up from a business meeting she attended. I don’t mind if it is a good idea but she didn’t even bother to ask if she can do that or not. This one I say is a ticket to a separation of which I dnt think I will be able to reconcile.

  6. Amazing article – if only my husband would take the time to read it. My husband and I have been married 16 years, but have to say over the years of being married I figured out that he doesn’t do well with hidden message. So I’ve become more straight forward in what I want from him. I still haven’t seen much progress. The only thing I get from him now is like he’s almost forcing himself to show me attention; it’s unnatural and it’s always at the most awkward times. But when I do tell him something or want something or need his attention it goes over his head.

    And as this pattern continues I eventually get so frustrated and call him out on his behavior but he denies any wrongdoing; he gets super angry and defensive and throws it in my face the awkward times when he does give me attention. He also starts accusing me of thinking that he doesn’t love me. This is emotionally draining me and I’m feeling ill and I don’t know how to make it stop, and he is not the type to seek marriage counseling or talk to strangers about our private matters. All I know is this is driving me insane.

    1. I feel the same way…I tell my husband how we came to be, and still he does what he does. I haven’t been consulted on many things – he is a taker – then when I tell him that, he says I want to control him, I don’t forgive, I don’t like social things and finally – if I try to reason – this marriage is _ _ _ _ , you want out of it, I do. So no matter what, I can’t win any debate. These fundamental pieces are so important – they help maintain a balance in the marriage that gives something to the wife, who will give back. It is in my nature to do so, but not without these pieces. How do you tell a husband you’ve lacked in these areas – this is why your wife isn’t the wife you want? That isn’t to place all the blame elsewhere – but to say that he wants a marriage and the benefits of one he has built (using these points). I went through cancer last year, he left, a lot, but said he was there for the chemos. This doesn’t seem to fit in with the above, but how do you tell someone like that, this piece? How do you express it? Please tell me – because I can’t reach him.

  7. We are military. We have been married for 8 years. 2nd marriages for both. He is currently on his 2nd deployment. He left for the 1st deployment a month after we married. We dated 2 years prior to getting married. During the 1st deployment our relationship drastically changed. He grew distant. The harder I tried, the worse it got. That was 8 years ago.

    Things seemed to level out but it never was the same. This deployment has pushed us both to our braking point. Last straw for me was, 2 days after coming home, he is flying us to his hometown in NY. Then suggested we go to a vineyard. It’s the same vineyard he married his 1st wife. I’m devastated! He doesn’t understand. He said I was emotionally abusive. Am I wrong and how can this go up from here? Thank You.

  8. My husband and I have been married for five years. We have had a LOT of ups and downs. I have always told him that he doesn’t meet my needs. He doesn’t kiss me without me asking for it. He doesn’t tell me good morning or that he loves me. He doesn’t do any of the things that I expect of my husband.

    Recently, he moved in another woman into our home. Originally, it was to help her get on her feet; her two children are also here. I was ok with the arrangement, until he cheated on me with her. Since then I’ve been telling my husband that it’s her or me. He refuses to choose and I’m not sure what to do. I’ve been living like this for almost 2 months now and I am beyond fed up, but don’t believe in divorce. I want to save my marriage, but I want to feel chosen, loved, and safe. I promised to love him for better or worse, and that’s what I intend to do. I’m just not sure how to get this woman to leave our lives completely. Oh, and her kids, are not his.

  9. I feel sorry too for you. My husband and I have been married for eight years and we have always had troubles since. When I gave birth to our son he was already having an affair with another woman. I felt so bad that I never told anyone, not even my mother. I got so depressed. Ever since I got into his house he has never really bothered what I wear or what our son wears he only provides school fees and school uniforms and books. I don’t know what to do because I earn so little since I never went to college or university. Life is hard in Kenya for people with little education and I can’t provide for my son alone so am just hanging around because of my son. Our relationship has gone sour; no sex no nothing. If I get another man who will love care and cherish me I will run to his arms, that’s what I feel.

  10. I’ve been married for 2 yrs now…its been a roller coaster… We love each other very much. I feel it’s been a very unhealthy relationship between us; And why I say this is when we argue it gets to the point where we lose each other’s respect. Here’s an example: we had a really good weekend…I’m on vacation for a whole week, my husband has to work. I’ve been stressed and overwhelmed at home and at work and haven’t slept very well..which my husband has known. This morning he woke around 10 am while I was still sleeping which I felt him waking up…he was getting ready. Every morning when he wakes up he holds me and lays with me for a few minutes and we talk. For some reason when he woke up today he didn’t even acknowledge me.. Even after I said I was getting up. We always make the bed together in the morning. So, when I got up I left the room to start making breakfast and his lunch.

    He came downstairs, went into the kitchen and didn’t even say good morning – absolutely nothing. I felt very sad and angry …still ignoring me. That’s when I exploded…then he turns around and says what’s wrong with you? I’m explaining why I’m upset…he started to make all kinds of excuses; I was getting more furious. I said “if you woke up from the wrong side of the bed you should of warned me.”..you don’t have to ignore me like I don’t exist … He says he had no idea why I was getting like this, it doesn’t make sense…I feel, like he’s controlling my emotions and manipulating me. When it escalates he will start calling me crazy, e.t.c. Then he wants to calm me down. I have hard time accepting for the fact this is not the first time he’s done this…so then I’m the always feeling guilty. I feel like he’s never going to change. He calls me pathetic. I’ve spoken to him over and over about this….I’m tired of crying…I’m tired of him saying sorry then it happens again. I’m exhausted! I feel like it’s a game.

    1. I love the article above because it is a very simplistic model for husbands communicating and understanding their wives. I do believe that men are wired differently than women. They tend to require basic instructions how to treat women. It’s not materialistic small things that keeps most wives happy in a marriage but rather feeling cherished and heard and validated. For me it is very frustrating when I share my concerns with my husband of 11 years. He can be very affectionate and often tells me he loves me. But, he has a tendency where he zones out when I am simply discussing a concern I have about something important to me. I’ve decided so as not to become more upset, I need to discuss my concerns with a girlfriend instead.

    2. You might be married to a man that is passive-aggressive. Because it doesn’t sound that what he’s doing is that bad, but if he does stuff like that over an extended period of time (does or doesnt do stuff that he knows will upset you and acts puzzled/shocked when you do get upset) he may have a true issue. Passive aggressive people will make you crazy while appearing completely innocent to those on the outside. It’s complex…. but I think if you look into it you’ll recognize the dynamic that is taking place.

  11. Raised 5 children with a husband who was controlling and threatening and demanded his way or the highway. He was verbally, emotionally, and at times, physically abusive. After moving his parents into our Very small home against my wishes and taking full control of the money, and neglecting the bills I had a emotional breakdown. I left him after our youngest turned 18.

  12. This article is completely wrong about what women want. Women want to find the most physically fit and handsome man they can and have sex and have children with those genes. They also want their children to be highly regarded in society because that is also a survival scheme. So it’s a give and take for them. If they get a really rich good looking guy he won’t stay faithful (he won’t unless he is religious) and if they get a bad looking guy who is rich their kids will be ugly. If you’re poor and ugly as a guy you will never get a woman. Every woman is competing with other women for these men. Which is why they all try to make each other as miserable as possible, yes even best friends and sisters. The only exception is mother daughter. Everything a woman does can be explained with the above rubric. :) It’s true! So if you want to keep your woman – work out, make money, and be great in bed. Otherwise you don’t deserve her, stop whining.

    1. Hugh, I am so sorry this has been your experience and how you view the husband/wife relationship. I’m sure there are plenty of women (and men) who fit this mold in the world. But please don’t typecast ALL women and ALL men in this rubric. Our experience is that there are multiple thousands of men and women who come to this web site every day who have had an entirely different experience in their marriages…much deeper experiences of love, friendship, and lifelong commitment. Your portrayal is what Hollywood shows us every day in shallow, self-centered relationships. But believe me, after 44 years of marriage I can attest that there is an entirely different model that exists than the one you shared. I truly hope some day you’ll find that kind of relationship. Blessings!