What Is Not Okay In Bed?


“If both partners agree, is anything taboo?” “What about the use of vibrators?” “Is oral sex okay?” [These are a few questions that Christian women asked about the sexual relationship in marriage from a survey that the authors conducted.] But at the heart of each of these questions were two concerns: What does God prohibit in the sexual relationship between a husband and wife, and what does God permit?

We read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation and compiled a list of every scriptural reference to sex. As we reviewed our list it became apparent that God gives tremendous sexual freedom within the marriage relationship. But God also sets forth some prohibitions that we must honor.

These are the ten things God forbids:

1. Fornication:

Fornication is immoral sex. It comes from the Greek word porneia which means “unclean.” This broad term includes sexual intercourse outside of marriage (1 Corinthians 7:2; 1 Thessalonians 4:3), sleeping with your stepmother (1 Corinthians 5:1), sex with a prostitute (1 Corinthians 6:13; 1 Corinthians 6:15-16), and adultery (Matthew 5:32).

2. Adultery:

Adultery, or sex with someone who is not your spouse, is a sin and was punishable in the Old Testament by death. (See: Leviticus 21:10.) In the New Testament, Jesus expanded adultery to mean not just physical acts, but emotional acts in the mind and heart (Matthew 5:28).

3. Homosexuality:

The Bible is very clear that for a man to have sex with a man or woman to have sex with a woman is detestable to God. (See: Leviticus 18:22; Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:27; 1 Corinthians 6:9.)

4. Impurity:

These are several Greek words which are translated as “impurity.” To become “impure” (in Greek, molvno) can mean to lose one’s virginity (Revelation 14:4). It can also mean to become defiled, due to living out a secular and essentially pagan lifestyle 1 Corinthians 6:9; 2 Corinthians 7:1). The Greek word rupos often refers to moral uncleanness in general (Revelation 22:11).

5. Orgies:

For a married couple to become involved in sex orgies with different couples is an obvious violation of (1), (2), and (4) and needs no discussion.

6. Prostitution:

Prostitution, which is paying for sex, is morally wrong and condemned throughout Scripture. (See: Leviticus 19:29, Deuteronomy 23:17; Proverbs 7:4-27.)

7. Lustful passions:

First, let us tell you what this does not mean. Lustful passion does not refer to the powerful, God-given sexual desire a husband and wife have for one another. Instead, it refers to an unrestrained, indiscriminate sexual desire for men or women other than the person’s marriage partner. (See: Mark 7:21-22; Ephesians 4:19.)

8. Sodomy:

In the Old Testament, sodomy refers to men lying with men. The English word means “Unnatural sexual intercourse, especially of one man with another or of a human being with an animal.” Unfortunately, some Christian teachers have erroneously equated sodomy with oral sex. In the Bible, sodomites refer to male homosexuals or temple prostitutes (both male and female). In contemporary usage, the term sodomy is sometimes used to describe anal intercourse between a man and woman. This is not the meaning of the biblical word.

9. Obscenity and coarse jokes:

In Ephesians 4:29, Paul says, “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth.” The Greek word for unwholesome is very descriptive and literally mans “rotten” or “decaying.” In Ephesians 5:4, the Bible warns us to avoid “silly talk” or, as it is called in some versions, “coarse jesting.” We have all been around people who can see a sexual connotation in some innocent phrase and then begin to snicker or laugh. This is wrong. However, this does not rule out appropriate sexual humor in the privacy of marriage, but rather inappropriate sexual comments in a public setting.

10. Incest:

Incest, or sex with family members or relatives, is specifically forbidden in Scripture (Leviticus 18:7-18; Leviticus 20:11-21).

God leaves much in our sexual relationship with our husbands up to our discretion. In all likelihood, the questions tugging at the back of your mind were not even touched upon. When she read this list, Shelby commented: “It’s helpful to know what God says is wrong, but I still sometimes wonder if what my husband and I are doing is right. We have a great time together in bed, but every now and then, this nagging doubt comes—does God approve?”

To help you and all the Shelby’s, we will get more specific and address the questions we are constantly asked.


Clifford and Joyce Penner, in their excellent book The Gift of Sex, give this definition of oral sex: “Oral sex or oral stimulation is the stimulation of your partner’s genitals with your mouth, lips, and tongue. The man may stimulate the woman’s clitoris and the opening of the vagina with his tongue or the woman many pleasure the man’s penis with her mouth.” This sexual stimulation may or may not lead to orgasm for the husband and wife.

What does Scripture say about this sexual activity? Most theologians say the Scriptures are silent about oral-genital sex. Some believe two verses in the Song of Solomon may contain veiled references to oral sex.

The first is Song of Solomon 2:3:

Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

Throughout the Song of Solomon, the word fruit refers to the male genitals. In biblical literature, fruit is sometimes equated with the male genitals or with semen; so it is possible that we have a faint and delicate reference to an oral genital caress.

The second possible veiled reference is found in Song of Solomon 4:16 (KJV):

Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.

These erotic words spoken by Solomon’s bride are at the culmination of a very sensuous love scene. Shulamith asks her husband to blow on her garden (a poetic reference used throughout the Song for the vagina) and cause its spices to flow out. Of course one cannot be certain, but it is possible Shulamith is inviting her husband to excite her by caressing her with his mouth. She then invites him to enter her and feast on the pleasures waiting in her “garden.”

Dr. Douglas Rosenau believes Scripture is silent on the topic of oral sex. “This does not make it right or wrong,” he says. A key emphasis in the New Testament is Christian liberty. Nothing is unclean in itself, says Paul (Romans 14:14), and this presumably includes sexual variety. Lewis Smedes, professor of theology at Fuller Seminary, amplifies Paul’s statement about nothing being unclean.

He writes:

Christian liberty sets us free from culturally invented “moral” taboos; and since there is no rule from heaven, it is likely that the only restraint is the feeling of the other person. For example, if one partner has guilt feelings about oral sex play, the Christian response of the other will be to honor the partner until they adjust their feelings. On the other hand, if the partner has only aesthetic reservations, and if these are rooted in some fixed idea that sex is little more than a necessary evil anyway, they have an obligation to be taught, tenderly and lovingly, of the joys of sex in the freedom of Christ.

For the Husband and Wife Only

In Intended for Pleasure, Dr. and Mrs. Ed Wheat writes that oral sex is a matter for only the husband and wife involved. If both find it enjoyable and pleasant, then it may properly fit into the couple’s lovemaking practices. One goal of lovemaking is to fill a treasure trove of memories with delightful love experiences that will quicken your responses during your future times together.

One minister’s wife blushes happily as she recalls a memo her husband sent requesting her presence for an urgent “appointment.”

RUN DON’T WALK! YOU WON’T WANT TO MISS THIS EXCITING, DYNAMIC, RIPPING, SLEEP-DEFYING MEETING. Details follow: Would you like to have a meeting in the bathtub? (Loving massage and oral sex are included.) I love you, Your husband

Women Respond Differently

One woman might feel horrified by the above playful interchange between a husband and wife. To her, oral sex is repulsive. Another may think the minister and his wife have a gloriously free, creative, and fun sexual relationship. She sees that oral sex adds a beautiful dimension to this couple’s lovemaking.

Before we go any further, let us clarify our intent. Are we suggesting you incorporate oral sex into your love play? No. We are not making recommendations. Instead, our purpose is to set out for you what Scripture prohibits and to encourage you to seek God’s wisdom concerning His personal recommendations for your marriage.

Each couple is different.

Each husband and wife is unique. Because Scripture is either silent —or veiled —concerning this practice, the only way to discover what God allows for you is for you to ask Him. If you’ve never talked to God about your sexual relationship, now is a good time to start. You will not shock God. Remember, sex was His idea. God is a God of wisdom (Daniel 2:20). He promises that when we lack wisdom, if we ask Him, He will give it to us (James 1:5).

As you seek God’s wisdom, you might find it helpful to ask these three questions about any sexual practice you and your husband are considering.

Three Questions:

Is it prohibited in Scripture? If not, we may assume it is permitted. “Everything is permissible for me” (1 Corinthians 6:12).

Is it beneficial? Does the practice in any way harm the husband or wife or hinder the sexual relationship? If so, it should be rejected. “Everything is permissible for me—but not everything is beneficial” (1 Corinthians 6:12).

Does it involve anyone else? Sexual activity is sanctioned by God for husband and wife only. If a sexual practice involves someone else or becomes public, it is wrong based on Hebrews 13:4, which warns us to keep the marriage bed undefiled.

Let’s see how these questions can help when it comes to making decisions about sexual practices that are not specifically spelled out in Scripture.


Some couples enjoy incorporating the use of sexual aids such as vibrators into their lovemaking. To find out if the use of vibrator is right or wrong, let’s apply the three questions. Is the use of a vibrator prohibited by Scripture? Is a vibrator beneficial in lovemaking? Does the use of a vibrator involve anyone else?

As we look at the list of ten prohibitions, we see that there is no scriptural reference that would prohibit the use of a vibrator. So if a vibrator enhances a couple’s lovemaking and is used exclusively for the couple’s private enjoyment, then it is permitted. Does this mean we are suggesting you run out and buy a vibrator? No. Again, we are not recommending any sexual practice. We are only trying to help you discern what is best in your marriage as you seek the wisdom of God.


Obviously videos did not exist during biblical times, so we will not find “Thou shalt not watch X-rated videos” in Scriptures. (The same is true for vibrators.) But as we read through the list of the ten prohibitions, a red flag is raised. In number two on the list, adultery is defined as “looking on a woman to lust” whether the woman (or man) is on a video, in a picture, or in the living flesh. Secondly, number four on the list describes impurity as “moral uncleanness.” X-rated would qualify as “morally unclean,” thereby making them something God would disdain.

Now let’s apply the questions:

• Are X-rated videos prohibited by Scripture? Yes, based on (2) and (4).

• Are X-rated videos beneficial? Anything that promotes “moral uncleanness” is not beneficial.

• Do X-rated videos involve someone else? Yes. You bring the man or woman on the video into your lovemaking.

Based on these answers, we could conclude that God wants us to stay away from X-rated videos. [PLEASE NOTE: Look for the link to another article below to read on this subject at the end of this one.]

We have considered three “gray areas,” oral sex, vibrators, and X-rated videos. There are many others. We encourage you and your husband to prayerfully seek God’s wisdom, study the list of ten prohibitions, and use the three questions to help you discern what to do in your specific situation.

Seek the Best

As Christians we are simultaneously free and responsible. We are responsible to seek the best of the one we love, to think more highly of him and his desires than our own (Philippians 2:3-4). But we are also free to explore new territories of sexual delight.

According to Dr. Lewis Smedes, “The Christian word on trying out a sexual practice that is not prohibited in Scripture is ‘Try it. If you like it, it is morally good for you. And it may well be that in providing new delight to each other; you will be adventuring into deeper experiences of love.'”

God has given you great freedom in your sexual relationship with your husband. Remember His words to Solomon and Shulamith: “Eat, friends; drink and imbibe deeply, O lovers” (Song of Solomon 5:1).

This article comes from the book, Intimate Issues: Twenty-One Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex, written by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus, published by WaterBrook Press. This is powerful —one of the best “no-holds-barred books on intimate issues that’s available for Christian women (if not THE best)! It addresses 21 questions that Christian women ask about sex and contains so much practicality, healing sensitivity and spiritual wisdom on each subject.

— ALSO —

Below you will find 3 linked articles we encourage you to read. In reading them we believe you will know better what God does and doesn’t allow us to do sexually:





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136 responses to “What Is Not Okay In Bed?

  1. I’ve always been scared to talk these things but we’re children of GOD so we should be able to talk and get feed back from each other. I’ve always had problems with using toys because you have to go in those stores to get them. That makes me feel wrong. I’m glad to see someone that can point out questions a lot of christians have and don’t know how to ask. Sex is from GOD so if someone needs help in that area.

    I’m glad I found this. I pray you ask God for guidance, as well. Like I said this is very hard for me to talk about but as husbands and wives we are to keep each other happy in the bedroom as well. Thank you for your thoughts.

    1. Hi Marie, I totally agree with you. I felt the same way, concerning talking about these types of issues. But eventually, God showed me that we have every right, as married Christians to do what we can to improve our intimate times with our spouses. We shouldn’t be ashamed to have the best sexual relationship possible with our spouse. Why would the Song of Solomon be put into the Bible, if we’re to be all “hush, hush” about it. So I’m glad to see that you’re bringing this issue more to the light. We need to encourage and help each other in this area of marriage.

      As for purchasing toys to help enhance our intimate times with our spouse, I agree with you that going to one of “those stores” can be problematic. Most of them have many other things there that deal with sexuality outside of marriage, as well as pornographic things that invite unhealthy appetites and desires, and visual adultery. It’s one thing to play with “toys” together that will enhance making love to our spouse, it’s another to invite pictures, fantasies, and images of others into our private time together. As author Bob Moeller wrote on this issue, “Sex with the aid of pornography, whether magazines, or videos, transfers that highly intense emotional psychological attachment to someone other than your spouse. It’s as if you’re making love to two different people at the same time. You’ve allowed another lover to enter the bedroom.”

      So, truthfully, I wouldn’t go into a store that sold those types of products. I don’t want to support their business because they promote and sell that, which they shouldn’t. I want you to know though, that we do provide links on this web site to online Christian websites that sell enhancement toys, creams, and such “for those who are married.” They can’t guarantee that all their customers are married, but that is definitely their goal. You can see a few of them listed in the “Sexual Issues” Links section at: http://host.agencysrvr.com/~marriage/about-us-2/sexual-issues-links-and-resource-descriptions/. I have no problem going to their online store to make purchases… they promote fidelity, marriage, and Christian values in enjoying our love life with our spouse. I hope this will help you, as you seek to enjoy and pleasure your husband, as God intends.

  2. I am 76 years old. Age and medical problems make it 99.99% unlikely that I will ejaculate or achieve full erection. Are my wife and I able to perform oral and/or manual fore play on each other hoping that we will reach our desired goal but knowing that it is improbable that we will?

    1. Dear Grumpy, I sure don’t see why you couldn’t. This is between you and your wife in your marital bed, and as long as you both consent, I would say go for it. Even being able to touch each other sensually can bring you closer in your intimacy. Go… enjoy… love each other in the ways you can.

  3. Christians, Think! Is what you are practicing or considering pleasing to God your Savior? The behavior being questioned has been regarded as filthy, depraved and perverted for thousands of years in Christendom and the preceding Israelite economy.
    Ask yourself: Why am I here? Does what I am doing (or thinking about doing) help to build up the kingdom of God? Would I be ashamed for any of the respected older married people in the church to find out?

    The acts being questioned are some of those included in “the abominable and detestable crime against nature, whether with mankind or with beast, not to be named among Christians.” These acts were until recently regarded as so depraved that they were referred to in guarded speech, in euphemisms and broad, general terms. “Not to be named among Christians.” Do not allow the numbing of your sensibilities by the continual barrage of public lewdness to cloud your judgment. Only a few centuries ago, a wicked pastor’s debauching of a virgin bride-to-be was seen as less reprehensible than his act to avoid impregnating her. The rape was judged as disordered but proceeding from natural desires, while the act to avoid conception was in the category of crimes against nature. (He was not put to death because there was only one witness against him: the girl he raped. “One witness is not enough to convict anyone accused of any crime or offense they may have committed. A matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” Deuteronomy 19:15, 2 Corinthians 13:1 (NIV) Her testimony was sufficient for him to be dismissed from his pastorate and to be banished, but not punished.)

    Only a few years ago a man was imprisoned for five years for confessing in open court (in a divorce case) to “oral sodomy.” It hasn’t been so very long since such acts were seen as despicable and perverted, degenerate. What happened? In the span of only a few years we find ourselves living in a “Sodom” or a “Corinth.” My perception is that judicial activism has brought about the change. Legislatures follow the lead of judges rather than judges interpreting the law.

  4. I think that because humans were created by the Lord a person should look at the wonders he has made within you and not think of what is right or wrong within sex. For instance, why do certain sex acts between a willing couple feel good? Who put that ability for it to feel good? The Lord did; we did not create that ability. The Penis, who made it possible for it to orgasm? The anus, why does it feel good if done correctly? Any sex act that does not harm you and makes you feel good has a reason that makes the body react; it was not by our making.

    So to finish, the Lord has given us a body that we can enjoy; use it wisely and embrace the wonder the Lord has created within you. The ability to decide is mental, like whether you like Green instead of Red. With that whether a wife refuses anal sex with her husband or other acts, they are all mental decisions they developed in their heads. It was not the Lord who created the ability for the act, who put that decision in your head but gave the ability to decide. But to deny the ability to orgasm, or feel good in any manner was not because the Lord did not give you the ability, it is because you are making a poor choice in failing to use what the Lord has put within you to use for pleasure.

  5. My wife doesn’t always want to have sex as often as myself. If she is aware that I masturbate “in between our time together.” Is that sinful that I masturbate alone? Also, if I incorporate anal sex alone with masturbation is this sinful? (She is also aware.)

  6. I can’t believe what I am hearing from so called Christians. Being a Christian myself I am aware of what God permits us to do in the bedroom with our husbands and well if it was an abomination to God for two men to practice anal then of course it’s an abomination for a man to do it on his wife. And why? Because our God is clean and holy. The anus is our passage way for the waste in our bodies. It was not created to have a penis in it. The vagina was. Come on fellow Christians. Get with the program.

    1. That is definitely your personal conviction and opinion, and as such, you should follow that. But if you go with that line of thinking, the vagina sure has a lot of waste that comes out of it too. And so does the mouth — there’s a lot of garbage that comes out of it, so maybe we shouldn’t kiss either. :)

      1. Oh come on. You are talking like a person of the world who hangs out on a sex site uses to justify anal. Our God is holy therefore us as children of God are called to be separated from the world and its ungodliness. Be not conformed to this world but be transformed. That is what the word of God says. And if we as Christians do what the world does.. The lost who do not know Christ. Then we are not saved.

        1. And let’s also put it this way. The purpose of sex the way that God intended it for is to number one reproduce. And second of all for a husband and wife to enjoy intimacy and pleasure together. Now excuse me for being blunt but it a man cums in a woman’s anus or her mouth, that is defeating the God given purpose of reproduction. And so is a man master bating. I suggest that you read through the old testament. When God establishing laws for the Israelites. It talks about sex alot. And God is clear on what he regards as unclean. And yes I believe very firmly in what I believe in and that it fits within God’s expectations and nothing would ever make me change my mind. I stand firm on the solid rock of Christ Jesus. Cheers.

        2. And I am perceiving some Pharisaical thinking here. Just because God convicts you a certain way, it doesn’t mean that this is a blanket law for everyone who is married. What you are saying is not written in stone where within the marriage bed it is to be done as you have it convicted in your heart. Even food sacrificed to idols was not off limits for everyone, but for those who felt convicted in their conscience (1 Corinthians 8 and 1 Corinthians 10). There are other examples in the Bible, such as Jesus healing on the Sabbath, and King David eating on the Sabbath, and such where God lets us know that we are not to be so legalistic that we put it up as everyone’s standards because we are convicted that we are not to do so.

          I don’t want to go into a theological debate here, but please don’t pass judgement when a married couple decides together that they can explore each other’s bodies in certain ways. And no, I do not hang “out on sex sites.” And anal sex, while it is not what my husband and I prefer, that doesn’t mean that I would condemn it for another husband and wife, if they are in agreement and exclusive with each other. And lastly, it is not your decision if someone is “saved” –but God’s alone who freely gives it through one’s acceptance of the sacrifice of the blood of Christ, through faith –not of works.

          1. Cindy~ Thanks for your comments and replies, which I believe are supported by the biblical view of freedom in the marriage bed. Our guidelines are not unclear, nor are the few cautions governing preferences within that freedom. Like other theological issues, some folks remain very uncomfortable apart from long lists and legalistic structures. Serious and respected biblical scholars have written extensively on our sexual liberty while an entire book of scripture was given to the church and unintended primarily to be read allegorically. The obvious sexual prohibitions for us provide Godly safeguards without imposing our own biases and judgments that scriptural freedom never intended.

          2. Thanks Barry, I really appreciate it. I always try to line everything up biblically, but of course, there are those that will disagree. Thanks for your kind words.

    2. Anus,Penis are ways of getting rid of what your body rejects. And yet we’re supposed to get our mouth in/on them and it’s ‘standards’ for some? It’s crap. It has nothing to do with religion. It’s simply about hygiene and self respect. What’s next? If we don’t agree that they pee on us, or to drink their pee, or to practice s&m, we’re not normal? Oral and anal sex has nothing to do with love.

  7. Cindy~ you are quite welcome. I was motivated to write following several uncharacteristic remarks addressed to you (on Feb. 8th). (Barry)

  8. Thank you. I’m dealing with a husband who wants me to allow things; of course I’ve tried numerous times out of submission, but feel completely compelled during and/or afterwards. Even still the fact that he has a bag of sexual perversions, to me, makes me want to run for the hills along with our 2 boys ages 9&3, to protect them from these spirits. I was completely unaware of these deep dark desires until about 6 years ago.

    Porn? I knew, I tried, but felt it was a sin, even though he doesn’t. Fornication? I was lost when I met him and had more partners, etc. but I’ve repented and asked forgiveness. Drugs for increased sexual desires and enhancement? He showed me, as I allowed him to. But the crossdressing even though only around me, and me wearing a strap on for him for his pleasure, and him using my medicine for adhd for a night of sexcapade at home in our room, still leaves me feeling like nothing but a sex slave, bound by my husband’s sex addiction.

    1. Sunshine I am so sorry for the ways you are being treated. Your husband is sexually deviant in that he is dressing like a woman (which he clearly is not a woman) and the Bible in Romans chapter 1 says that being effeminate (men acting like women) is wrong. And that he is using drugs meant for something else entirely to “enhance” his sexual experience. He needs Biblical counseling and his behavior is not normal.

      My husband is not a Christian and I wasn’t one when we met and married. But in our bedroom I feel completely and totally loved and desired by him. We sometimes give oral and only occasionally use a toy. But porn of any kind is not and never has been involved in any way. He makes me feel sexy, beautiful and loved with the things he does. If your husband is making you feel degraded, something is very wrong. And that is not God’s will for any marriage. Protect your boys…your husband’s behavior is wrong and is not normal.

    1. If you are asking about marital sex then we have SO much information on our web site to guide you from a Biblical perspective in the Sexual Issues section.

  9. Is it a sin to have sex before being married ? I only had sex with my husband. I didn’t like it and dreaded going to bed. After many years he left with another woman. After a long time I did have sex with a man and found out it is enjoyable. I was shocked that it was so different.

  10. Oral sex is detestable to God, it is an expression of homosexuality. Many husbands and wives will be cast into the lake of fire for indulging in this sin. Please read your bible and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you. Without holiness, no man will see God. Stop teaching others to sin against God by publishing these articles. Sex between a man and his wife is supposed to be a holy union, not indecent and depraved. Read your bible and live what you read, turn from sin. Oral sex opens the doors to torment from demons of Succubus and Incubus. Couples who practice oral sex conceive children who are homosexuals or bisexuals. Repent

    1. You sound like my kind of lady, miss Shelley. :) Far too many women of the modern era, even so called Christians are a bunch of filthy little submissive slaves to their husbands. They are no better than prostitutes. I am not a follower of any organized religion, but I am a follower of Christ himself. While I may be a heretic in the eyes of many Christians, God looks more favorably upon me than some of his so called followers because I follow a code of high morality and the laws of nature.

      Sex should always be between a man and a woman for the simple fact that it is only a man and a woman who can have sex the way God, and or nature intended. It is only in this way that they achieve natural loving union and it is only in this way that they are equal during the sexual act. There should never be a dominant and a submissive role during sex. Oral sex is the most submissive and degrading sexual act, especially when performed on a man as the woman is penetrated unnaturally.

      Those who will defend oral by saying “What about the 69 position? Both partners are joind and nobody is submissive.” The answer to which is simple. Actually, both partners are submissive and 2 wrongs don’t make a right, and they may be joined, but they are not joined naturally. If a woman puts her finger in her husbands nose because to her it’s some sort of strange sexual fetish, is this a natural union also? I dont think so.

    2. if you truly think that couples that practice oril sex produce homosexuals and bisexuals. I would strongly encourage you to find another church. These people are deceived and need our constant prayers. Jesus sought out these people. To minister to them are you or your Church doing this?

  11. I hate oral sex and it has nothing to do with religion. It’s plain disgusting and degrading. No matter how much they try to brainwash us to get us to do it, like it,….it doesn’t work with me. These are parts where pee comes out from. I don’t care how clean I am and my partner is, I simply won’t get my mouth anywhere near these parts. And same with my partner for me. Oral sex destroys any romance of the moment. It’s not about love. When in an intercourse oral sex happens, it’s ruined. And what I read and hear is that some women ‘enjoy” it because they supposely “control’ the pleasure of their partner. And same with men who enjoy watching their partner degrading themselves like that. How many times women get insulted with insinuation of oral sex. ‘Suck my d…” among other stuff? Oral sex has nothing to do with love. It kills the moment.

    1. I have been married for 33 years, have 6 kids, and 2 grandsons. My husband and I have a wonderful sex life. Part of that involves mutual oral sex. We both enjoy giving and receiving that way. This should be between each individual couple, and cannot be generalized to everyone. Oral sex is not forbidden in the Bible. Cindy Wright, some help please?

      1. Hi Pie Lady. I agree with you. I’ve seen the Bible verses that some give as arguments against oral sex and I just don’t see it. I’ve also seen a few in the Song of Solomon that supports it. For a married couple (and I emphasize… ONLY for a married couple) that mutually agrees this is something they enjoy together, I say go for it. Those who are nay-sayers are not the authorities as to what God sanctions to be okay within your marital bed. God is. If they think it is wrong, then they shouldn’t do it. You aren’t trying to drag them or anyone else into this. So just ignore their trying to shame you and have fun together. I believe God’s blessing is upon you as a married couple who are being lovingly intimate with each other.

    2. I have been married over 3 decades and enjoy a satisfying sex life with my husband. Part of that enjoyment is mutually giving and receiving oral sex. Just as this article says, it is not forbidden, and as long as both husband and wife are comfortable with it, oral sex can be a beautiful part of marriage. Thank you for including this article.

    3. Wow Marion!! I am glad that you have found a husband like you. Would you believe that some of these perverts actually have sex with their clothes off, or the lights on. With all of their shameful nakedness exposed. Some even allow their hands to wander to the most private parts, and would carry on the most sensual and out of the way conversations at this time. God help us!

  12. I have question. Does it say anything in the Bible about couples having sex outside? Is it okay for a husband and wife to have sex outside?

    1. I’m not sure if there is something in the Bible about having sex outside as a husband and wife… maybe in the Song of Solomon. I’m sure there had to be some sexual activity outside because they spent a lot of times in tents and out, traveling and such. Perhaps when the children of Israel were walking the dessert for 40 years. I’m thinking there had to be some lovemaking going on outside. It had to be difficult to make it private, but I’m sure they found ways. Also, how about Adam and Eve?

      But whatever… sure. Why couldn’t a husband and wife have sex outside? As long as they’re doing it in private without others watching or participating, I can’t think of there being a problem. The location isn’t the problem… as long as the husband and wife are in agreement and they are alone, I’m sure it’s okay with God. I like doors that close… I’d be inhibited being somewhere that people could stumble upon my husband and me. But if you can keep it private, why not? Go for it as long as your wife is in agreement.