What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Menopause
“Five thousand American women enter it every day. No, it’s not a day spa. Nor is it an outpatient clinic for plastic surgery. And it’s certainly not optional —although many options exist for dealing with it. It’s menopause —often referred to as The Big M. Over the generations it’s been called The Change of Life —for more reasons than one.
“For many women, menopause comes abruptly, far sooner than 51, the average age of the body’s natural cessation of menses—due to the six thousand hysterectomies performed in the U.S. each year. For the rest, this unavoidable rite of passage often sneaks up after a six-month to ten-year hormonal time warp called peri-menopause” (Ronna Synder, from Todayschristianwoman.com article Managing Menopause).
If you’re a husband reading what Ronna wrote, it can be a real slap of reality. One year, one month, one week, one day seems too long to go through this, and yet, many of you know, this is just the beginning of a long season… a very long, long season of difficulties, for your wife and for you!
Sometimes we wish that every marriage could come with a manual on “what to do if…” but unfortunately it doesn’t.
However, we live in a time where we aren’t left entirely alone as far as not having any information available to help us! We are blessed to live in a world where some people have lived through a few things and have learned through a few things, and are willing to pass on to others (such as ourselves) what they have learned.
And that applies to the subject of Menopause. How do you survive this transition of life and help your wife the best way you can? There’s no “one-size-fits-all” answer to that, but author Lois Mowday Rabey wrote an article that might help you in some way with that dilemma.
Below you will find a link to the helpful web site of Family Life Today where they have posted this article for your reading pleasure … or maybe we should say for your “survival.”
As you read through this linked article ask God to show you what information you can apply to your marriage that will best help you and your wife:
The next article we recommend you read is written by a woman named Magnolia, who had a conversation with a man named Andy on the subject of Peri-menopause (which is a type of pre-menopause). Having gone through this herself, Magnolia explains to Andy a lot of things that you may find helpful to know as well.
While this article isn’t approached from a Christian perspective, it’s still very enlightening and worth gleaning through.
To do so, please click onto this Peri-Menopause blog to read:
Plus, below is another link to an article that gives instructions how to give support to your wife during this tim in your lives together. Please click onto the ehow.com link to read:
Also, below is a link to a blog where a husband asks the following question:
Question: My wife is going through menopause and I am feeling kicked out of a relationship that I really want. She doesn’t want physical contact, most of the time. The sex drive is less than off. She thinks that is all I think about. But it has been nearly year and a half. I am 11 years younger and need some advice.
Please click onto the Dailystrength.org link provided below to read more:
And then, below you’ll find something written by Paul Byerly, posted on The-generous-Husband.com web site. I’m thinking that the insights Paul gives will be helpful:
Now, for those of you who truly want to help your wife, the following is an article, written by Ronna Snyder, posted on the Today’s Christian Woman web site that your wife may find insightful (if she will read it). I sure wish I would have had this info when I was going through Menopause. It’s difficult to find info that addresses spiritual issues, as well as physical and emotional ones —and that, which can be inspiring, as well.
Here’s one piece of advice given in this article (just for a sneak preview):
“Get a Meno MAKEOVER: Since I saw a number of my peers wilting at this stage of life, I decided to head full-tilt into it—literally. I followed an older meno-mentor’s example and bought a Harley-Davidson. I got a treadmill and began actually using it. I revamped my wardrobe, makeup, and hairstyle, peeling off a few extra years and infusing myself with confidence. And I wasn’t shy about telling my husband and family what I was going through—which helped them become more supportive.
“I purposely deleted energy-robbing (including some church and Bible study) responsibilities from my calendar. I added naps to my to-do list, and bulked up on complex carbs and low-fat proteins, dropping ten pounds in the process. But most importantly, I sought out friends—both old and new—who had youthful, positive attitudes, yet wise spiritual values that helped me remember I still could make an eternal impact for God’s Kingdom—whether or not I was perimenopausal!”
That’s great advice —something your wife may find inspiring. Just tell your wife that you located the following Today’s Christian Woman web site article after it was recommended to you by someone who has gone through Menopause, and is doing well:
Above all, I hope and pray that you and your wife can both hold on and partner with each other to get yourselves through this season of marriage… and it is a season. It won’t last forever.
Being on the other side of this, I look back and wonder, “What WAS that?” Thank God it didn’t last forever. It seemed like it would (for both of us), but it didn’t.
And thank God that we were able to hold onto each other through some really tough times during that season. Every marriage goes through storms. And this definitely was a stormy time… a long one. But it’s one of those seasons that is important to persevere through, as God can lead you. The Bible talks about the importance of persevering. It’s best for us all to remember that.
I also thank God for the grace that my husband gave me during this time. As I wrote before, we are on the other side of this season, and I appreciate it more than I could ever express that my husband extended grace when I’m sure he wanted to do just the opposite. He hugged me when I wasn’t very huggable, sympathized with me when I needed it, found ways to make me laugh when it was needed, and gave me grace —extending unmerited favor over and over again. Oh how I love that man for doing that for me.
And oh how much more wonderful our marriage is than it ever has been before. We weathered this together (as we’ve weathered other tough issues), and we’re all the more rich for it.
I pray you will get to this place too.
“May the Lord direct your heart into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.” (2 Thessalonians 3:5)
“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ —to the glory and praise of God.” (Philippians 1:9-11)
This blog is written by Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International.
If you have additional tips you can share to help others in this area of marriage, or you want to share requests for prayer and/or ask others for advice, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.