Once in a lifetime, we may be blessed with a love of fairy-tale proportions. Theirs seemed such an extraordinary story with picture-perfect promise — Gracie and Michael, their hands and hearts entwined, pledging that when the dark clouds, deafening thunder, and drenching rains of difficult finally fell, those storms of life would not drown out their hopes and dreams.

Then one day, and long before they had anticipated, dark clouds threatened their marriage. Gracie remembers, “as though it were yesterday,” the day the two of them sat in the wingback chairs in their family room. With a trace of sadness still lingering in her voice, she wonders how two college sweethearts with so much promise for the “perfect” union could end up shipwrecked in a storm of such fury.

“It felt as though we were clinging to separate pieces of driftwood and floating farther apart from each other, each caught in different and very dangerous currents,” Gracie shared in a hushed tone.

“Through the storm, I still loved my husband very much. But disappointment and despair had infiltrated our daily life. For the first time in years, I felt my faith faltering. So much so, I wasn’t sure how or if God could even resurrect our relationship. And heaven knows I had spent nearly every waking moment trying to get this godly man to see the error of his ways.”

Gracie’s heart was broken, her spirit crushed. The wonderful man she had married only seven years before was doing battle with his soul. Though his law firm had grown substantially over the years, he was no longer happy practicing law. His external façade was arrogance, but internally he felt frustrated, frightened, and not sure of where to turn. He knew Gracie had grown accustomed to the lifestyle they had worked hard to attain, and he didn’t want to jeopardize that.

After awhile, he began to shut Gracie out, thinking he was protecting her from his private turmoil. She in turn grew fearful, which only fueled her fear of what she didn’t know. He was at war with his own heart, and Gracie couldn’t help but think the worst.

As they sat there on the bleak January afternoon, each slumped in opposite chairs, Gracie cried out to Michael, “I have tried everything I know to reach you. I have tried talking lovingly to you, only to have you dismiss me with insincere promises that you would change your ways. Then, in my frustration, I have regrettably spoken harshly to you, hoping to change you back into the man you used to be. You, in turn, made matters worse by responding in anger. Your anger has completely crushed me. You are a stranger to me. I don’t know how to reach you, and I feel like our dreams for our marriage have died. I’ve lost the man I love.

“It grieves me to say this, but I give up,” Gracie conceded, as tears splashed down her already-strained face. And in her final moment of exasperation, she cried out, “If you won’t listen to me, maybe you’ll listen to… to… God! Even so, I’m not so sure if God could repair the mess you’ve made of things.”

The moment the words left her mouth, Gracie was startled to sense God whispering to her broken spirit: Yes, I will repair the mess you children have made of things. I’ll take your marriage and transform it into a masterpiece—the way I intended it to be. But are you willing to listen? For your heart was hardened. Will you allow Me to create in you a pure and clean heart? Will you recommit your marriage to Me? And will you see Michael as I do—as a favored son?

Her response, though more out of desperation than dedication, was without hesitation: Yes, Father, yes, yes, yes.

In retrospect, Gracie now knows that dark winter’s day was the birthing of “part two” of their marriage. That was the day she began praying—really praying—for Michael, seeing him as God’s favored son. She realized that in her overzealousness to improve her husband, praying that God would change him, she conveniently “forgot” about her own flaws. Her heart had hardened. She had forgotten to trust God and had been too busy alerting God to her husband’s failures to be in a true state of prayer or communion with Him. She realized that before Michael could reach his full potential as the leader in their home, she first must grow in her fundamental role as a praying wife.

In her book Choices, Mary Farrar talks about giving our husband the best of our self, so that he may become the man God has called him to be. Quoting Corrie Ten Boom she writes, “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”

That’s exactly what Gracie did. She gave her best to God and her husband by recommitting her bankrupt heart and spiritually withered soul to God. Only then was she in a place to ask for God’s best for her husband, His favored son.

The above true story came from the book, What Husbands Need, by Judy Carden, published by Kregel Publications. As the author Judy Carden writes, concerning this book,

 

“As little girls, most of us were captivated by the mystery and magic of romance. It was scripted in our hearts long before we were born. Remember how we dreamed of becoming a bride? We saw the role we were created to play as beautiful, magical, and worthy. And on our wedding day, the future was filled with the promise of bright tomorrows. What we didn’t know is that, with the passing of time and familiarity of daily life, a marriage can lost its magic. Busyness takes over. Too little time together causes stress, which results in a breakdown in communication, which results in dwindling romance. Conflicts creep in. Tenderness fades. The relationship becomes routine and our husband’s needs are a burden.

“An undeniable sadness settles over the marriage and our husband seems distant. Then, from somewhere deep within, we feel a flicker of that nearly forgotten romance and remember there is no miracle greater than the power of love. And we want it back. What Husbands Need is a journey of faith, commitment, and love—one where your tender heart and teachable spirit will greatly affect the rest of your story. Its message is this: if you desire the joy of a truly great marriage, try focusing on the needs of your husband. This book shows us how to live out God’s best—as women and wives—and reap the blessings He wishes to bestow on us!”