What marriage advice would you give someone who is planning to marry?
Please answer this question by leaving a comment
What marriage advice would you give someone who is planning to marry?
Please answer this question by leaving a comment
11 responses to “Question of the Month (October 2007)”
(South Africa) I would say that the couple should first and foremost trust God in everything, make God the centre of their universe, the foundation of their marriage, commit totally and wholly unto God before committing to each other. Comprise and understanding is also very important, listen more than speak. Marriage is not an easy road, it’s the world of two people becoming “one”. It may take time to adjust but once you do, it is beautiful. Respect each other, honour each other’s feelings, be faithful in all that you do, by doing this you are honouring God. And lastly “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you”
(Bulawayo, Zimbabwe) l would tell them to continue dating each other just as they were doing. Have time to listen to what the other is saying; pray together even holding hands; attend couples meeting/parties/church services together; read the word of God together and discuss overall. Do most things together not allowing the other to feel left out/lonely.
From my little experience having been married for 8 years, marriage is a holy institution designed by God. Just as painful and wonderful as it is to deliver a baby, so it is in marriage. Full of love, sense of belonging, its warmth comfort and a season of pain and hurt. Intending to get married? It’s an issue that goes beyond the couple. It involves both families, friends from both sides and the community you live in.
Before you say I DO! the two of you need to agree on how you will handle what comes with the institution; in-laws, work, recreation, budgets, income, different crisis, child bearing and rearing, and generally your expectations from each other and how to handle any breach of this. Firstly, love one another. When you say I DO, get committed and take your already agreed on responsibilities. Where there are misunderstandings, resolve them within the shortest possible time. If the two of you fail, as a couple, agree and identify who can help. With this full package, married should be enjoyed and not endured!
I would tell the person wanting to get married to pray that GOD will help him/her make the decision.
Makesure not to look at outward appearance it may be dececiving ask GOD to help you look at the heart.
Dont worry about what people will say about your decision as they wont leave with the one you choose to marry.
Planing to marry? Take your time! You have to get to know, really know this person… Only time can show you what he/she is made of, believes, values, etc. Rushing into marriage can be the kiss of death.
(Zimbabwe) I would advice that: 1. Communication is important 2. Learn to be humble and accept when you make mistake 3. Do not try to change the other person. But try an accept the other person the way he or she is otherwise you might conclude that your partner is stubborn 4.When your partner is angry, leave him/her to cool down even if you are not the one who is wrong. 5. When you quarrel, try and make up knowing that you take it as a steppingstone to the revival of your relationship 6. Money will never suite and be enough in marriage. Above all prayer makes it all for them and should seek God’s guidance in every situation.
When children arrive don’t forget your husband. Go on the date night, plan sex, and always pray for and with each other. And remember, never talk bad about your mate especially to other family members.
It is very important for couples to get to know each other before they get married. l know some people would say everyday you see something new in your partner but knowing the basics and then making the decision of braving it for better or worse is better. Above all loving the person for what he is would help you to see things with a different eye when you argue.
(USA) A good Godly marriage takes work. Every day, after 24 and 1/2 years of marriage I still remember the profound yet simple advise given us in our premarital counseling session with the Pastor who married us; “Treat your marriage like a garden. You have to pull the weeds everyday, or they’ll become trees. Then you have to bring in a back hoe to uproot them!” Deal with the little miscommunications and grievances while they are yet little. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger. Settle it before you go to sleep. Another good piece of advise or wisdom that I’ve learned is; submission begins where agreement ends. Wives let your husband have the final decision making “o.k.” You may agree to disagree respectfully, but succumb to his headship as unto Christ who is his head. Let Him deal with your husbands decision!
(ZIMBABWE) Invite Jesus into the marriage and listen to all he says like at the Wedding at Canna. Remember he will will give what you are short off. Decision in marriage are made by the two of you. Marriage is not a 50 – 50. In marriage you must be prepared to give 100%. Remember you receive what you give. If you give love you will receive love. Your spouse is a reflection of you.
(USA) Don’t settle. No matter what you love about someone, please please do not ever settle for someone who is kind, smart, good-looking, makes a ton of money, etc. I have come to conclusion that you can make the choice to take your chances and maybe change that one little thing that you don’t like. DON”T DO IT!!!
God has made you for someone, and has made that one special someone for you. Look for them. Search for them. But most important, PRAY FOR THEM. I mean you need to thank God every day for that someone special. You need to thank Him and believe that in His timing He will bring you together. You can go out and meet, greet, and interact; but don’t settle. More of God’s people have made their lives a hell on earth because “I can make him/her quit” or “I can change him/her and then I’ll be happy.” BULL. God has a plan, or He doesn’t. That is the one and only thing you need to settle. Either God is, or God isn’t in charge and has control of our lives to His glory!!!!