Romantically challenged spouses Pixabay breakfast-in-bed-1158270_1920Are you one of the romantically challenged spouses who needs help finding romantic ideas to use in your marriage? Below you will find a number of testimonies and suggestions we gleaned from those who are married. Hopefully, the following will inspire you within your own marriage:

This will give you an “excuse” to make a date with each other at least once a month:

“We got married on the 6th of June. On the 6th of every month, no matter what day it falls on, I don’t have to cook! We simply go out or get take out and sit back and celebrate our marriage.”

Romantically Challenged Spouses

From a wife who has been married a number of years:

From the very first month after we married we have celebrated our month-a-versary. In the beginning it was filled with gifts and tender moments. Then the children started arriving and the money was used in other areas but we devised a game that has continued through the years. We strive to be the first one to say “Happy Month-a-versary!” This has been a fun and tender way to say, “I am so very happy for the decision made many years ago to be with you forever!”

“…I know from experience that physical getaways are important to marital health. We have found that mental getaways renew bonds of enduring love also and are more readily available.” (J. T.)

One wife said that her husband drives her to work a little earlier in the morning than she needs to get there so they can park and have their daily devotions and prayer time in the car together before they start their day. (She and most wives would find that very endearing.)

Here’s Another Idea:

“My husband and I plan ‘mystery trips’ regularly. They are not necessarily overnight trips—but sometimes include simple dates to the park, golf course, or a special restaurant. The mystery dates make even the most ordinary date seem extra special!”

And for another spin on this same type of idea:

“We have secret getaways but in a smaller version. We take turns planning “mystery dates.” My husband or I will plan everything out and only tell the other one what would be the appropriate dress.”

The following is a different spin on going “out” for dinner, or should we say, “in?”:

“One thing I did a few years ago was plan a special dinner for my husband. I set up a [folding] table in the living room, put candles on it, set the table with nice china and had ‘dinner out’ at home. It was a wonderful evening. Since then, we’ve tried to reserve our Friday nights for ‘home date night.’ We don’t necessarily go out, but we try to reserve Friday night for reconnecting, having a quiet dinner, etc. Usually these are in the dining room, but sometimes I set them up in other parts of the house just to add variety (out on the deck, or a screened porch, or the living room are favorites).” (B. V.)

Additional Ideas for Romantically Challenged Spouses

From a minister’s wife:

“My husband went to a craft store and bought several dozen small red glass hearts. He gives one to me every so often. He may put one on my pillow; slip one into my hand with a love note. He’s had one beside the bathtub when he ran me a hot bubble bath after a long day, or he may hide it somewhere for me to find. When I do get one, I put it someplace where I will see it often. That way, whenever I see my red heart I think of my husband and say a prayer for him. I may call and ask if there’s anything he needs prayer for that day.”

The following are a few additional ideas from several others who are creative in romancing each other.

Ideas to Romance Your Spouse:

“Leave a love note where you know your spouse will find it —in a lunch bag, briefcase, car, refrigerator, etc. Give a hint of another surprise that is coming, i.e., if you plan to surprise your spouse with dinner out, tell him or her to be ready and dressed at a specific time.  Anticipation is an important part of the fun in this idea. Plus, you are adding fun unpredictability to your marriage. I know of one couple where the wife left a note in his car while he was in an evening class telling him that she was looking forward to him coming home that night!  He made a beeline home.”

•  “We keep a notebook in the bedroom and write notes back and forth. Sometimes these notes are short and silly and other times they are long and romantic. I get a smile on my face every time I see that [my husband] has written a new message.”

“Realizing that my wife and I were growing too far apart, I decided to make time for her. I realized that I get up everyday during the week at the same time to go to work, so why couldn’t I just change my schedule and get up an hour early everyday to be with my wife? If work is important enough to get up early for, how much more important is your relationship with your wife? You don’t have to have a plan or an agenda. Sometimes we wake up and just lay there together, holding each other. It’s so refreshing to start the day in the loving arms of my wife.”

Here are More Ideas:

“We have a camp trailer set up as a getaway. That doesn’t mean it leaves the yard; we just set it up for us to use. I will light several candles and will make sure there is a special treat like cheesecake or ice cream in the fridge. I also find the act of washing feet a very special way of showing oneness in our marriage. Sometimes water isn’t available so I use lotions, and as I rub his feet I cover him in special prayer. [And the husband can then do the same.]

“This has become like a date night for us and it doesn’t cost a lot of money. It gives us a chance to pray, talk, have special treats, and have time for a whole evening together. There isn’t any phone, TV, or people. It’s just my husband, me, and God!”

“I surprise my husband once every three months with each a small gift or a short getaway. One time that stands out in particular is that I turned our living room into a beach. I brought several large buckets and in one I placed sand, a small bucket and shovel. In another bucket, I filled it with water and included some toy fish with fishing rods. I laid out beach towels and balls. I had an ocean CD playing. Then in the middle of the beach towels I had a picnic basket filled with all his favorite foods and deserts. It was a very nice evening. My husband said it was one of the most in-house creative things I had done.” (C. J.)

For Romantic Getaways:

From the Family Life Today article, “Reader Responses: Ideas for Romantic Getaway” here’s another tip you may want to consider:

• “If a family is not in a position to stretch and obtain another place to relax, or if finances don’t even allow for a vacation away, then make the vacation at home. Cleanup and declutter the bedroom, light some candles, do whatever it takes to make it an oasis. Straighten up the main areas of the house so they are pleasing to the eye. Then plan an easy yet tasty meal (a crockpot works great) so that it’s bubbling and smelling good come evening time. Begin your ‘Festive Weekend Away Here’ that night. Plan something special for breakfast the next morning and maybe an activity you never would have time to do. Just doing something different is great for the senses.” 

The above suggestions were gleaned from various people we talked to, plus ideas we found in past and present articles posted on the Family Life Today web site The articles, which are no longer posting, were titled, “Simply Romantic Ideas,” “Romantic Ideas for the Romantically Challenged,” “Reader Responses: Ideas for Romantic Getaways,” and “The Readers Respond, Part Two.”

A few articles, which are still posted that contain additional ideas, can be read by going into the following links:

• Romantic Ideas Abound Here


• Reader Responses:
“What’s the Most Romantic Thing Your Spouse Has Done?