Affair Proofing Your Marriage and Protecting the Ministry

Protecting MarriageIt’s almost as if Pastors and their spouses have a bulls-eye invisibly painted upon their marriages! The enemy of our faith appears to target them and their families all the more. This is probably because of the impact they have in poking holes in the spiritual darkness surrounding this world. Their “downfall” has the potential to do so much damage to so many. That is why it is so important to affair proof your marriage, protecting it to the best of your ability.

Also, because of the dynamics of ministering and showing compassion to those who are in emotional pain, pastors can be idealized because of the care they are showing to the one who is hurting. They are then vulnerable to having others attracted to them. Because of the chemistry the situation can bring, a mutual attraction can develop even though neither “thought it would or could happen.”

Protecting Your Marriage

We hear of this scenario happening continually all throughout the world. Not only is this heart-breaking for the families involved, but it must terribly tear against the heart of God!

For this reason, Pastors and their spouses have to be all the more diligent in putting up hedges in protecting their marriages and their family life.

There are many books and magazine articles on this subject (many of which we have posted on our web site) that can help you. Also, the ministry of Focus on the Family, Canada, has a great article written by Dr Simon Sheh, which is posted on their web site in their Clergy Care section that can give you some good insights.

To read this article, please click onto the link provided below:

• How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage and Protect Ministry Relationships

Another article you might find helpful can be found on the Eternal Perspectives Ministries web site. Please click onto the link provided below to read:


— ALSO —

Below is a link to an article written by Karen Blake to help the Pastor’s Wife and the challenges she can encounter concerning this issue. Please click onto the link below to read:


If you have additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.

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Filed under: Pastors and Missionary Marriages

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2 responses to “Affair Proofing Your Marriage and Protecting the Ministry

  1. (SOUTH ARICA)  It’s interesting to know that I’m not alone in this. I really thought that my situation was unique. You find that husband’s can be abusive, cheat, have affairs, are addicted to drugs, alcohol or gabbling, etc, but my husband refuses to stop going to a ‘church’ that I introduced him to. I later found out that many rituals practiced there where unholy. I felt it but he will not leave. All the congregation members have left this ‘church’ even visitor that we would invite would not return.

    My husband swears on his life that he is not having an affair with the ‘Pastor’, but he spends almost every Saturday at this “church” and certainly every Sunday without a doubt. Nothing stops him from going to this ‘church’ every Sunday and he spends the whole day there, just the two of them. I ask what could they be doing that would take the whole day? I have prayed and I am still pray. I will be fasting for 2 days just for God to intervene.

  2. (USA)  Does anyone have actual scripture regarding a Pastor’s marriage when it ends in divorce due to the wife leaving for another man? Reconciliation is and has been sought, but the wife has chosen to leave with no reconciliation and has filed for divorce. Should the Pastor be required to step down from the church? Are there any exact scriptures regarding Pastor’s divorces that are due to a wife’s affair? Thank you!