Recently, we celebrated our anniversary. It was a GREAT day for us. But we also know that anniversaries can be a very painful day for many others who are struggling in their marriages. How our hearts grieve for those who are crying tears to God for their marriages!
We wish, with all our hearts, that we had a solution to “cure” everyone’s marriage that needs help! That is our desire. But unfortunately we can’t. The reality is that we live in a fallen world that is very complicated because of sinful choices. And unfortunately, all of us are affected by the bad choices that are being made.
Sadly, as human beings, we can only do so much. But God…
God can help you in ways that we cannot because our “Wonderful Counselor” — the Holy Spirit. He can guide, and comfort us, and He can also redeem that, which hurts us.
We pointed to this in the previous Marriage Insight. God can bring redemption and help us to Grow Through Our Marital Problems. (If you haven’t read it yet, we encourage you to do so.) But God can also minister to us in other ways, as well.
Crying Tears to God
We assure you that God cares—more than anyone else! You may not understand why He doesn’t answer prayers like you think He should. But that doesn’t mean God doesn’t care. There may be a whole set of circumstances going on that you just won’t see on this side of heaven. But please don’t stop going to Him, praying, believing, and trusting. We serve an amazing God who works miracles in many different ways!
With all of this in mind we want to share with you something we previously featured in a past Marriage Message, that was sent to us by a dear African subscriber. We believe that God has given the author, Millie Plastaras, some great insights to help you as you cry out to God.
Tears, the Liquid Prayer — God Cares
Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy. He who continually goes forth weeping, bearing seed for sowing, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him. (Psalm 126:5-6)
There are many different kinds of tears, and these are actually a sign of what is in the depths of our hearts. The Bible tells us that what we sow in life we reap. We are planting seeds, and when harvest time comes we reap what we sow.
Those wanting spiritual breakthrough for specific needs should really pay heed to this verse. For when we come before God he wants a broken vessel, one that is surrendered and seeking-one that listens for the voice of God, and seeks it with all his heart.
Tears of brokenness are blessed by God, as the word says God values them so much He keeps our tears in a bottle (see: Psalm 56:8). Throughout the Bible we find where men and women cried out to God from the deep anguish and agony of their heart. God heard their prayers and delivered them.
Tears of Faith
Tears spent in prayer will sow a seed of faith that will reap a harvest of results. Read that again, and keep it in your heart. Tears spent in prayer will sow a seed of faith that will reap a harvest of results. God does hear the cry of your heart!
Charles Spurgeon, the great orator and preacher said that the ministry of tears was “liquid prayer.” They are pouring our heart out before God, seeking Him with all our heart, soul and mind. They are a drink offering before the throne of God, poured out before his presence, surrendered unto his will. What a beautiful thing this is in his sight!
• In 2 Kings we learn of tears of sorrow or suffering.
• In Genesis 33:4 we learn that there are tears of joy.
Plus:
• In John 11:35 we learn that there are tears of compassion.
• In Esther 4:1-3 we learn that there are tears of desperation.
And:
• In Isaiah 42:14 we learn there are tears of travail or giving birth.
• In Joel 2:12-13 we learn there are tears of repentance.
Pouring Out Your Sorrow to God
These are indeed a great weapon in spiritual warfare. For this is the warfare of faith, and of brokenness before God.
It’s a final willingness to say, “God, I know you are in charge; I give you all that I have. I pour out my sorrows before you, in expectancy of your deliverance, hope and ultimate openness to the will of God. A broken person has realized their position in God, and seeks His will first.” This results in the blessings of God pouring out upon those who wait for God.
An Answer for Tears Sown in Sorrow
If you’re desperate for answers, if you’re seeking answers that seem impossible, if life has overwhelmed you and you feel anxious, if you desire to see changes in your life, if you feel alone and abandoned, if you’re at the end of your rope, there is a way through anything you face today.
There is one who is always available, full of compassion, full of wisdom, full of well planned things for your life. He has been with you since the beginning of your life. And He will be with you until you enter eternity. He knows everything about you. He has your best interest at heart. And He will never leave nor forsake you. HE is the Great I Am. I am whatever you need.
Cry out to God, and He shall hear and answer your prayers in the way that is best. He is your Father, after all.
Remember:
They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.
They shall mount up with wings as eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
and they shall walk and shall not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)Weeping endures for a night, but joy comes in the morning. (Psalm 30:5)
Wait I say upon the Lord,
and He shall give thee the desires of thy heart. (Psalm 37:4)He who dwells in the secret place of the most High,
shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, He is my Refuge, My Fortress. In HIM will I trust. (Psalm 91:1-2)Remember… Only one life will soon be past
Only what is done for Christ will last.For the Christian Prayer is not an option but an opportunity.
“In prayer; expect setbacks, but refuse retreat.” (Richard Eastman)
Don’t tell the Lord how big the problem is.
Tell the problem how GREAT the Lord is!
We hope this will inspire and help those of you who are crying out to God for help.
In Closing:
Below are two more articles we encourage you to read. We truly believe they will also minister to you as you cry out to God:
• GOD IS AWARE OF EVERY TEAR YOU CRY
As you cry out to God here’s a wonderful prayer to lift up to God:
“Lord, I ask You to take Your big eraser and wipe out all those hurts, those grudges, those disappointments I have been carrying with me. The load is getting too heavy to carry. I have been feeling like dropping by the wayside. I don’t just ask You, Lord, to carry this load for me or to shoulder half of it for me. This is a load I need to get rid of. I need your strength to throw it away once and forever.
“Please Lord, help me to dump it so that I can stand upright ready to press on and reach toward what is ahead. Now, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I cut the bonds that have been tying this load of negatives to me, and I throw them to the winds. I will cast them aside as many times as I need to until they are totally forgotten and gone. I thank you, Lord Jesus, that You have given me Your perfect example to follow. In Your Name I pray. Amen.” (Fred Littauer)
In all of that has been written here, please know that our love and prayers are with you. We don’t say this lightly. We truly do care. And above all, God cares. Look to Him to guide you through this tearful time.
Steve and Cindy Wright
— ADDITIONALLY —
To help you further, we give a lot of personal stories, humor, and more practical tips in our book, 7 ESSENTIALS to Grow Your Marriage. We hope you will pick up a copy for yourself. (It’s available both electronically and in print form.) Plus, it can make a great gift for someone else. It gives you the opportunity to help them grow their marriage. And who doesn’t need that? Just click on the linked title or the picture below:
ALSO:
If you are not a subscriber to the Marriage Insights (emailed out weekly)
and you would like to receive them directly, click onto the following:
Filed under: Spiritual Matters
(SOUTH AFRICA) Oh Lord I have cried buckets of tears. I have given myself to you in prayer. Time is running out as he will be boarding that plane and out of my life forever in one months time. I continue to pray, believe and trust in your love and care. Your timing will be perfect Lord I just know.
(PHILIPPINES) I have been crying out to the Lord constantly for answers to my prayers ever since my husband left me – to restore my marriage, to heal my heart, to heal my husband of the pain I caused him, to draw us close the Lord and draw us to each other, to reveal to me His will… I keep hoping & praying that the Lord will not allow us to be divorced or annulled. But is so hard to wait… to keep hoping… Oftentimes I don’t know what to do or say to God that I just cry out. The pain is so deep I find it hard to breathe. I fear waking up in the morning because of the heaviness of my heart. I find it extremely difficult to focus on my work. It has now suffered and I’m afraid I might lose my job. Please pray for me and my husband. It is my fervent desire to be reconciled to him. I am running out of hope…
(FIJI) Dear Raquel, There is something God has put in my heart to share with you. I am praying for you and your problem coz I guess I am going through a similar situation right now, but recently as I was also getting discouraged and hoping God would do something soon as it was very hard to wait, God revealed to me that God’s Children need not use the word HOPE. He told me that the christian disctionary holds no such word as hope as hope means we are in doubt and are not sure but just assuming that God might help us. God says in his word Hebrews 10:38 THE JUST SHALL LIVE BY FAITH. Christians do not have Hope; all they have in life is Faith coz faith means that we are sure to receive whatever we have asked in prayer.
God’s word says, ask and you shall receive, believe in God that whatever you have asked you have received already and it shall be done… therefore faith means we are laying all our burdens upon the Lord and we know that SURELY God will answer our prayers according to his time.
I have learned the meaning of Faith and have placed everything in Gods hands. I know that God is going to do a miracle in my marriage life coz in the New Testament we read that in many places where Jesus performed a miracle he told the person “Your faith has made you well” he did not say your hope or your aim…
So today, I would like to encourage you to have faith like me. I know that God will do a miracle in your married life just as I am waiting for one to be done in my life through the prayer of Faith. Love and Prayers, RD
(USA) Raquel- My heart cries out for you in this time of need; know that God is in control and we must wait for his plans for us to be revealed. I feel all of the things that you are feeling and know that you are not alone. Trust in the Lord and wait for his answer. During this time, focus on yourself and make yourself a stronger and healthier person. I will be praying for you.
(USA) Raquel, My wife left me on 6/29 and took our son with her. I know your pain. I’m broken. I’ve been brought to my knees by my wife’s actions. I haven’t seen or heard from my son in over 2 weeks. I’ve been abandoned and I love them so much. My heart is ripped in two.
However I have prayed for you and I hope you’ll pray for me because I want to reconcile as well. But she won’t even talk to me. I’m not running out of hope. I do put my faith and trust in Jesus but as each day goes by I’m more and more miserable.
(FIJI) Hello Dear Ron, It is very painful to hear your story. I sympathize with you and pray that God’s comfort and presence protects and guides you. Although I may be too young to give you advice as I am just 21 years, I am also waiting to hear from my husband for over a week now. I do not have any children. I have just been married for 2 and half years and I love my husband so much.
But this separation has brought me so much closer to God that I have learned to accept whatever comes my way because I know that God is in control of every situation we go thru in our lives… In order to attain gold it needs to go through a process of fire that is how it gets it shining quality in it. Maybe God wants to use you mightily for his kingdom and he is testing your faith to see if you can endure like JOB.
He did not have anything left yet he was firm in his faith. Yes, faith is the only key to all locked doors in life and tell you what … IF YOU ARE FAITHFUL TO GOD HE WILL BE FAITHFUL TO YOU. I am sure he is speaking to you right now and healing your wounds. The greater the trial, the more splendid the reward will be for you in times and days to come.
Know that God’s time is limited and he is with you. He knows what is best for you and I strongly believe that it will not be very long when God is going to answer all your prayers. Just hang in there and believe that God is in control and thank him for whatever he has given in your life.
I am waiting for a miracle in my married life which I am sure to receive with my faith in God, and you will too if you will just release everything to him. Forgive anyone who has done you wrong and ask for forgiveness yourself. God’s peace will rule in your heart and you will start to see light filtering some distance away in the dark tunnel of your life. God Bless you. Love and prayers, RD
(CANADA) I also know the pain of separation. I daily surrender everything to God, but so far the pain continues. My wife left me and our kids. She asks me to pray for her, but she continues to be at war between wanting to have her freedom in the world and following what God wants for her in life.
It hurts me to see her in this battle, but it is hard for me to continue to try and live my life and support our children when one day she says one thing and the next day she says somethings else. She is pulled is so many directions and she is relying on me to help her. It is so hard to trust God some days when He seems so far away and does not seem to answer. Please pray for us and I pray that my wife will return to her first love Jesus Christ.
(FIJI) I have something to encourage you guys… you know what?!! This prayer of crying out to God really helps… if you just forget about the formula of praying and breakdown before God, surrender everything to him. He will listen to you. I prayed this kind of prayer, prayer of faith and I cried out my grievances to God. He heard me and my husband has started talking to me. I know God fulfills our hearts desires step by step. For some who are in emergency he reveals his glory straight away but for some he takes time becoz he is testing your faith… You may not see anything happening on the outside but his spirit is changing things on the inside and it will be all of a sudden when he booms a miracle into your life which would be unbelievable.
I waited for 2 weeks. Although we are still separated he has started talking to me. I thank God and pray it will not be long before we start a new life in Christ again and I know he will answer your prayers too.
When the enemy of our faith discourages you, think about the story of Lazarus. When his sisters sent the message to Jesus that their brother was sick he did not come straight away. Instead he waited for 3 days and then came. WHY??? Because his timing is perfect and if he had come straight away Lazarus would not have died and he would not have had the chance to raise him from the dead and to reveal God’s Glory and power to the people.
God wants to Glorify himself thru you. Remember 1 Corinthians 10:13, he would not allow you to suffer anymore than you can bear… Love and Prayers, RD
(USA) Thank you Ranjeshini, I am separated, but I know my Jesus lives. Your post about Lazarus is indeed the Holy Spirit speaking through you, to all of us. I pray that you will experience the love of Jesus. I know that you will be united with your husband.
(SA) My husband has left with another woman. He says that he has found his soulmate. I can’t understand after 15 yrs of marriage how he can feel nothing towards me. I wish I knew what was going on in his mind. The pain is unbearable but I have to look strong for my 13yr old daughter. Please tell me what’s going on in his mind.
(S.AFRICA) Dear Irene, My husband has also left me after 35 years of marriage. He wants a divorce and also says that he has found his soulmate. He shows no concern for me and it is just as if I never existed. Yes the pain is unbearable but slowly as the days go on and I put my future in Gods hands I can feel peace returning to my life little by little. I still have moments of utter despair dont get me wrong.
As to what is going on in your husbands and my husbands mind I can’t really say. What I do know is that they are being deceived by Satan. They have been led astray and given promises by Satan of a better life. They can not see what is happening and how sly and cunning Satan is. Their are always consequences to sin and unfortunately we and our children are suffering for the sin they have committed.
Irene, don’t give up. Keep praying. Put this whole matter in Gods hands. Love and support your daughter. She needs you now more than anything else. If nothing else I have learnt that ONLY GOD can change hearts.
(USA) Although it is now 2013 and I don’t know how these situations have turned out, I wanted to comment that I agree it is Satan deceiving people’s minds in marriages/relationships. There is a real deception going on. I found this article very encouraging to keep praying. This morning I asked two friends to pray with me against a spirit of deception/lying/confusion that I believe is afflicting a dear friend. Satan is stubborn but greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world. Keep praying. It is exhausting but it is the only way we will turn the tide of failed Christian relationships.
(USA) I am asking for a prayer request for reconcilation and restoration in my marriage to Todd. I also would like for God to touch Todd’s heart and soften it and show him the love I his wife, has for him, and also that God help Todd fight the devil. Todd can’t do this alone; he needs help. I love my husband and I have been forgiven of past sins. I want to save our marriage and make a Godly difference in Todd’s life. Pray for God to remove the scales from Todd’s eyes, lift him up, and show him the love his family has for him.
(USA) Tammy, I am praying for you and your husband Todd. I pray that God sends godly people across his path that will encourage him, and lift him up… and show him that God has all the answers. I pray that you continue to protect him by sending prayers on his behalf because you are still in covenant with him as his wife. I pray that angels surround and protect him in each way that he goes, and that he will realize the great support system he has in you, in his family, and ultimately in God. I pray for reconciliation and restoration of your relationship.
(USA) HI TAMMY, I UNDERSTAND YOU AND EVERYONE. I have been married 13 years in a wonderful marriage! My husband started drinking and hanging out with a young couple that do not believed in God. The female has been keeping him away from our marriage and wants him to stay away from me. I pray daily for God to give direction to both of us. I have not seen or heard from my husband now for over a year. He left march 2012. My heart is broken; I cry daily and ask for direction.
We both were older when we got married. We both are now 53. Everyone tells me to divorce him and move on. But, I pray and ask God for an answer. My heart loves him so much. My support is prayer. I pray and ask God to help him and protect him and for him to find forgiveness in his heart. I pray that we can reconcile in our marriage. I will pray for you and everyone else. GOD BLESS!
(USA) Tammy, I have said a prayer for your marriage. The pain I know you are feeling can be unbearable. The Lord will never give you more than you can handle. Lay your burdens at His feet and He will comfort you. Today, my husband left me. I know the despair you are feeling but we must give it all to God so that He can work miracles. We have to have faith that He will heal all wounds and restore our marriages. God bless you and I will keep you in my prayers!
(NEW ZEALAND) First of all I just wanted to let everyone know my heart goes out to you all. May God place peace & love in your lives and may your faith be strong. I pray for angels to watch over you all and for his Spirit to guide you in all your ways, and for his Spirit to touch your loved ones also and to lead them out of darkness. I pray for healing and strength to be with you while you’re on this trail…
I’m 22 years old, and while yet not married, I have been with my fiance for 5 years now. We’re having to endure a long distance relationship (USA from NZ). That alone has been very rewarding but hard. He’s not a believer, but he has always loved me, none the less. We’ve had our trails and are still in some.
Just recently though, in the last year, I’ve risen another level spiritually with God, and he has been putting me thru some tests… After coming back from the USA we’ve had some problems regarding me with my faith. He knows God is first in my life and that’ll never change. But because of it, it has hurt him. He has me in his heart as his everything. He’s said it with tears and feels somehow he’s not getting that in return from me. It’s hard to get thru to him, but he has everything I can give humanly to him. I personally feel like I’m continuously giving to him but I’m not getting anything back. As a result, we’ve distanced, unwillingly, & I turn to God for comfort.
I feel like we don’t know how to be close like we used to be in a time when we need to be closest. It’s like I’m watching him slip away and there’s nothing I can do about it, other than leave it up to God. It has torn me apart watching this slowly, but I sincerely pray that things will turn out for the best for both of us, no matter what happens.
(PHILIPPINES) I just got married a few months ago with my Husband Kim. I’m pregnant & I’m on my 8th month now. I’ve been crying my heart out for my husband isn’t treating me the way we had before. I feel so left out, that he could stand a day not going home or even talking to me. I’ve learned that He’s seeing someone else from his work. It breaks my heart so bad that my baby’s been put at risk last week.
Please help me be encouraged, that my relationship would turn out well. I’ve been talking to God even at my sleep, for strength, patience & my desire to have him back. I could really tell how it helps a lot, that God comforts me each & everytime. I love my husband way too much. I have ignored God & set him aside on my daily life.
(UNITED STATES) I would like prayer to stop divorce preceedings, and bring my husband Marty home. He left on 9/18/2010, went to Indiana with his mother which was living with us because of illness. I didn’t talk to her for 4 days because I felt in my heart she was breaking our marriage up. I told Marty this, and he said he would never let that happen. He did. He is very anger, bitter.
I pray that God would send someone to talk to him; he needs help. He needs God. His mother holds grudges. She also needs God. He says he doesn’t care if he ever sees his step daughter again. She is 19. I love my husband and want to be with him. His mother has bought him a house. She has heart problems. I am sure she bought the house to keep him from coming back to VA. She left me a voice message on my cell phone saying Marty would never come back to me.
So I pray God would take care of her, that she would keep her mouth shut. She knows that I love Marty. I just don’t know which way to turn. I cry all the time to the Lord. I cry everyday. Can’t eat, and can’t sleep. I ask for a sign from God he showed me 3 rainbows, and 2 Convenant Transport Trucks.
(UNITED KINGDOM) I am asking for a prayer request and at times I feel like God is testing how strong I am and how much faith I have in him. I have been married for 3 years, but my husband and I separated 10 months ago. I still love him and I don’t know what has gotten over him. Each time I try to have a positive communication with him it ends up being negative from his end.
He left me when I was ill – the time I needed him the most. He has not even been supporting our baby since he left. I pray for him each night and I still want to make our marriage work, but I feel the devil is working in him. I am hurting each day and I don’t know how to make our marriage work.
(SOUTH AFRICA) My wife left me two months ago after I had an emotional affair. She has told me she doesn’t love me anymore (in the last 2 months) and she wants to separate. She has seen an attorney and is seeing a therapist. She says she will “see how she feels” after some therapy. At this point her words to me are “the thought of coming back to you makes me want to vomit”.
I cry and pray every night for God to give me my wife and 3 beautiful children back. I have changed my ways and have solved many of my problems but nothing I try seems to help and only angers her further. Any advice would be appreciated.
(AUSTRALIA) My husband did this to me, as well. An emotional affair is so much worse then physical -it means your emotional needs were not met hence you looked elsewhere. Meeting emotional needs is harder to fix them meeting physical needs. May God give your wife the courage to forgive and understand you but also give you the courage to understand yourself. I pray especially for the children in these situations -your three and my two -may God walk with us!