The following are a number of Facebook marriage quotes that Marriage Missions International individually posted on our Facebook site. These are marriage tips, which can still be used in a variety of ways:
• A church, ministry, counseling organization, or an individual can use them to share on their Facebook site, if desired.
• They can be used as points of discussion in marriage classes, mentoring, counseling, or coaching situations.
• Couples or individuals can use these quotes to discuss or consider the issues raised, allowing the Holy Spirit, our Wonderful Counselor, to speak further to them.
They make great discussion points for those couples who want to use them for conversation starters for a 22 Minute Date (the guidelines are posted in the Romantic Idea topic). Just make sure, if you use these quotes in a dating situation, you don’t get into heated arguments over them.
The point in sharing these marriage tips is to build marital relationship bridges, not construct walls of contention, causing a breakdown of communication. You can constructively disagree with these tips and with each other, and still learn more about each other and grow closer together, in the process.
It is our sincere hope that the tips below will help marriage. As you read them, please consider:
1. Do you agree or disagree? Why or why not?
2. Do you have further thoughts on the issue, to apply personally or as a general rule? (If you’re reading them with someone else, please share.)
3. Do any scriptures come to mind, which apply to the marriage tip given? (If possible, please share.)
The following are quotes to note for your use (each paragraph stands on its own —for your knowledge, the original sources are noted afterward in parenthesis):
We get so busy that we often let our marriages slip to the back burner of our lives. If we’re not careful, work and the other relationships will take all our time, energy, and money. Everyday our marriages need attention and can improve through focused attention -Gil Stieglitz (From book, “Marital Intelligence”). For help, go to: 22 Minutes To A Better Marriage
Spouses need to be reconciled to each other and to God on a daily basis. Since we’re always sinners married to sinners, reconciliation isn’t just the right response in moments of failure. It must be the lifestyle of any healthy marriage. -Paul Tripp (from book, What Did You Expect?: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage)
Can you imagine how different our lives could be if we choose to laugh instead of criticize? What would happen in our relationship if we elect to tickle the funny bone instead of feed our anger when accidents happen? Today, let’s choose to bring a GIANT sense of humor into our marriages and watch as it displaces disappointment, unforgiveness and bitterness. –Lynn (from Spiritually Unequal Marriage e-message)
The reason so many people struggle to restore their marriages is because they refuse to love before they FEEL love. But if you wait until you FEEL like loving, you’ll be stuck forever. A marriage that acts like a great marriage can become a great marriage. (Mort Fertel)
Too many of us have yet to mature in our love and our relationships bear the scars. But it’s never too late to grow up. If we want our love to last a lifetime, we can’t keep believing that love is a noun. The feeling of love is short-lived. We have to understand that long-lasting love is really a verb. (Jill Savage)
Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you (Robert Fulgham). And that applies to how you conduct yourself in your marriage.
As we juggle our busy lives, it’s too easy to let our marriages fall into the background. We’d never say our marriages weren’t important, yet we often act as though they’re not. Make your marriage your #1 priority after God. (E Sanna)
Your marriage is important to your kids. It’s important to know what a healthy family looks like to be positive role models and contributing members of society, themselves. So work to make your marriage as healthy as possible. It will help your marriage, and your children, as well. (Cindy Wright)
Genuine Love minds its manners. Embracing this one concept could add fresh air to your marriage. – From the book: The Love Dare You should not just follow your heart. You should lead it. You don’t let your feelings and emotions do the driving. You put them in the back seat and tell them where you’re going… You choose what you treasure – from The Love Dare.
“Why does a relatively good marriage generate so much anger?”” For insight, go to: I’m Angry! – Marriage Message #100
I like not only to be loved, but to be told that I am loved. The silence is large enough beyond the grave. (George Elliot) For more, read: Saying I Love You – Marriage Message #99
I’ve seen a constant formula at work in my life: the less I receive from God, the more I demand from my wife; the more I receive from God, the more I am set free to give to my wife. The best thing you can do for your marriage is to fill your soul with God. (Gary Thomas)
It’s helpful to remember back to when I was dating my wife. Thinking back I realize that everything I did revolved around how I could steal a few minutes with her and how I could make her happy in some way. When I think of all the energy I expended and compare it to the time I now take to please my wife, it’s easy to see that there’s much more I can do to bring life to our relationship. (Roy Hitchman)
When you encounter conflict as husband and wife, it’s important to find ways to attack the problem — not each other. “Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved” (Barbara Johnson)
Once children come on the “scene” it’s difficult not to center our lives around them. After-all, their demands or “needs” seem to cry out so much louder than ours. What can you do to preserve your relationship despite the demands that children bring? Read: A Child Changes the Dynamics of Your Married Life
Capitalize on the tiny moments. It’s important to celebrate those little moments, things like a really good day or a really bad day— those unexpected things that make someone’s day. (Toben and Joanne Heim)
“Most men treat time at home as time off instead of the most important part of the day. But the main reason for work is to provide for the family. Sometimes that idea is lost… The greatest rewards come from a great marriage and an enjoyable family” (from book, Marital Intelligence)… Invest your best at home!
Cute marriage song! “If My Nose Was Running Money” By Aaron Wilburn From Aaron Wilburn’s video “Southern Culture.” TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT AARON, GO TO HIS WEBSITE WWW.AARONWILBURN.COM.
Do you fight fair? Fighting Fair – Marriage Message #97 How you argue—especially how you end an argument—can determine the long-term success or failure of your relationship.
What do you think is the hardest thing to do in a relationship? Hindrances to Communication – Marriage Message #96 Think about it!
In your anger sin not (Ephesians 4:26) If you cannot control your anger, you are as helpless as a city without walls, open to attack. (Proverbs 25:28) An angry heart can never experience true emotional intimacy because the wall of hostility keeps their mate from getting too close. The result is a frustrating, lonely marriage for both partners. (Bob and Cheryl Moeller)
The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character. (Peter DeVries) As you live with each other’s “character,” remember Ephesians 4:2 – “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
If we lined up your actions toward your spouse with what the Bible says a husband or wife should do, would your actions agree with the Bible or your culture? It feels right to do what everyone else is doing, but when we follow the norms, we end up with the same problems. (Gil Stieglitz)
Many Christians are operating toward each other with the same carnal love they had before they were Christians. In many cases, they’re applying God’s love to brothers and sisters in the body and have a ‘burden for the lost’ but are virtually the same in their relationships with their mates. God’s love has to be applied to our marriages too. -Andrew Wommack (in Awmi.net article “God’s Kind of Love in Marriage”) To read more, go to: Filling the Hole in Our Soul – Marriage Message #103
Marriages usually don’t collapse overnight. They become bankrupt gradually because they lack daily deposits of love, communication, and affirmation. Unfortunately, many couples have lost the spark they shared before they married and have replaced it with a humdrum routine. Dating and romancing your spouse can change those patterns -Doug Fields. Want some ideas? Go to: Romantic Ideas for the Romantically Challenged
Have you counted how many if’s there are in your wedding vows? You know, ‘I promise to love you IF you treat me in a way that makes me feel good about myself’ or ‘I promise to love you IF you keep your attractive figure after bearing 3 children.’ Count them. How many ifs did you say in your wedding vows? -Larry McCall (from the book, “Loving Your Wife As Christ Loves the Church”). Consider BEFORE you marry what you’re promising. Be a promise-keeper.
Love convinces a couple that they are the greatest romance that has ever been, that no two people have ever loved as they do, and they will sacrifice absolutely anything in order to be together. And then marriage asks them to prove it – Mike Mason (from book “The Mystery of Marriage.”) Through it all, God asks us to prove HIM. See: John 13:34-35.
Sadly, most Christian marriages represent nothing more than re-packaged psychology and Hollywood nonsense wrapped in a few Bible verses, with a vision so low it’s no wonder half of them end in divorce. How I long for Christ-followers to experience the stunning views of God from the top of the peak of marriage! Unfortunately, most are stuck in the climb, whining and complaining about not getting his or her “needs met,” which is for each of them the highest goal of marriage. (John Thomas, from Boundless.org article “The Sacrifices of Marriage”)
Marriage is to resemble a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated, often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them. (Norm Wright) A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. (Mark 10:7-8)
In taking marriage vows, we are doing what the Lord Himself did with Abraham; making a promise of love to one individual. In keeping this promise, we’re mirroring the Lord’s faithfulness to His people, a faithfulness designed from the beginning to spill over to the whole of mankind. – Mike Mason
Does God occupy the center of your marriage? Many couples fall short on this point because God is pushed to the margin of the relationship. They have a sense of God, but compromise on obedience to His Word. The Apostle Paul describes this as a form of godliness, but lacking its power (2 Tim. 3:5). These power-deficient marriages are mediocre. Are you settling for the mediocre in your marriage? -Dr. Harold L. Arnold (From Focusonthefamily.com article, “Defending Your Marriage Against Mediocrity”)
Let us make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification –Romans 14:19. When your partner is having trouble coping, either with the world or with you –don’t shout, don’t pout, don’t run away. Turn to your mate and lovingly say, “Honey, what do you need from me right now?” (Joe Saltzman)
It is important that a child believes not only that “my parents love me,” but that “my parents love each other.” For when children miss seeing love modeled in the home, they often grow up without really knowing how to give or receive love in future relationships. (Josh McDowell) “Let us love one another, for love comes from God…” (1 John 4:7)
Pertaining to marriage and all relationships: “Scripture teaches that we should observe and evaluate others’ behavior so we can respond and minister to them in appropriate ways, which may even involve loving confrontation (see Matthew 7:1-5; 18:15; Galatians 6:1). We cross the line, however, when we sinfully judge others, which is characterized by a feeling of superiority, condemnation, bitterness, or resentment… When these attitudes are present, our judging has crossed the line and we are playing God.” (From Peacemaker.net article, “Getting to the Heart of Conflict”) To learn more, go to: The Enemy of Marriage – Marriage Message #104 – Found at: http://www.marriagemissions.com/the-enemy-of-marriage-marriage-message-104/#more-138.
“Take one hour on your anniversary each year to dream together …Even one hour increases marital longevity and happiness. Dreaming together deepens the spirit of partnership.” Together, ask God to give you a vision for your marriage. “Where there is no vision, the people cast off restraint” (Proverbs 29:18). …(A recent national radio spot suggested couples take one hour on their anniversary each year to dream together. According to this marriage expert, even one hour increases marital longevity and happiness. Dreaming together deepens the spirit of partnership. -Renee Sanford -from Kyria.com article, “A Team of Two”)
In your marriage: “Learn to love appropriately. …Live a lover’s life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God.” (from The Message by Eugene Peterson paraphrasing Philippians 1:9-11).
It is a trap for a man to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider his vows -Proverbs 20:25. Marriage is not something one tries on for size, and then decides whether to keep; it is rather something one decides with a promise, and then bends every effort to keep. (Leon R Kass)
You get your best definition of love from an event. And that event is the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ. I think the Bible calls us to “cruciform” love. Let me explain that term. “Cruci“ means cross. “Form” means “in the shape of”; love that shapes itself to the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ. This is exactly what John does in 1 John 4. There are two lengthy discussions of love in the New Testament: 1 Corinthians 13 and 1 John 4. In the middle of that passage, John says, “This is love.” (Paul David Tripp – from Family Life Today program aired 7/28/2010)
God uniquely tied marriage to prayer. In 1 Peter 3:7, we learn that a man’s prayer life is hindered if he’s mistreating and dishonoring his wife. Are you bitter with your spouse? Mark 11:25 implies that mountain-moving prayers are blocked by an unwillingness to forgive. And when a couple ties the knot, Scripture reveals that God has joined them together (Matt. 19:4-6). But as a wedding gift, God also gives each spouse a prayer partner for life. -Stephen Kendrick (From Lifeway.com article, “When You Don’t Have a Prayer”)
Avoid late fees by setting up a calendar of due dates for your bills or paying them the day they arrive. If you mail payments, make sure you send them early enough to arrive before the due date. Even payments that are just a few hours late may be assessed late fees. If you send payments electronically, make sure you read the rules. Banks differ on how many days it actually takes for payments to be processed. (Francine L Huff)
Who’s the mature one in your marriage during a time of conflict? If you’re the mature one, then make the move to resolve the thing. Don’t hold back just because you’re tired of being the peacemaker -Emerson Eggerichs. “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18).
A friend of mine recently celebrated her fiftieth wedding anniversary. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned about marriage, it’s to never get so comfortable you cease to cultivate it,” she told me. At first her words amazed me. How much cultivating could a fifty-year marriage need? But I’ve come to realize everything requires constant care to survive. Our house needs a fresh coat of paint, highways need resurfacing. And a marriage needs a fresh coat of love. (Mayo Mathers)
“A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ, that a man should have to seek Him first, to find her.” (Max Lucado) And the same should be said of a man’s heart. May you live and breathe Colossians 3 and Galatians 2:20 in such a way in your marriage, that our Lord Jesus Christ will be seen by all.
God hates divorce. But the same God, who hates divorce, loves the divorced, just as He does all his children. If you’re contemplating divorce, I pray you’ll reconsider reconciliation, if at all possible. If your heart has been broken by divorce, go to Him for healing. If divorce has separated you from God, I pray you’ll find your way back to Him… He’s waiting for you. -Max Lucado
Pray before you spend. When something’s a legitimate need, God will provide. How often do we take matters into our own hands and spend impulsively before asking God to furnish it for us? -Randy Alcorn. “And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus” -Philippians 4:19.
Many marriages consist of two people who have become enemies. Consider this: It’s hard to hate someone you’re praying for. Your heart simply won’t allow it. It’s also hard to sling mud on a person who is praying for you. Does your marriage break out in all-out combat on a consistent basis? Try bombing your battles with prayer instead of anger. It brings amazingly effective peace talks to the conflict. But don’t just pray for your imperfect spouse before or after the battle. Pray with him or her during the battle. It’s hard to launch scud missiles when you’re on your knees praying for each other. (Stephen Kendrick)
Husbands and wives, show your children that your marriage matters: make time for your spouse and express gratitude for their commitment. Remind yourself of the good you have found in marriage. Even difficult marriages may bring personal growth and the blessings of children. If you are in a rocky situation, get marriage counseling. I’m constantly amazed at how much time, work, effort and money people spend on perfecting and enjoying every endeavor under the sun – except their marriages. (Rebecca Hagelin)
Husbands and wives, show your children that your marriage matters: make time for your spouse and express gratitude for their commitment. Remind yourself of the good you have found in marriage; even difficult marriages may bring personal growth and the blessings of children. (Rebecca Hagelin)
“As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly love, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.” -Colossians 3:12-15
If we want to be in love again we must act in love. We must make the choice to speak and behave in loving and caring ways toward each other. We must do the things we once did when we beheld each other strictly through the eyes of affection and tenderness. – R & C Moeller
One way God establishes beauty is by putting things that are different next to each other. Isn’t this what God does in marriage? The moon would not be so striking if it hung in a white sky; in the same way, the beauty of a marriage is when two very different people learn to celebrate and benefit from their differences and to be protected from their weaknesses by being sheltered by the others strength. (Paul Tripp)
God has a plan for your marriage that will bring deep love, happiness, and intimacy; but if you make your happiness your primary priority, you will miss it all. His plan is to use your marriage to reflect His glory and make you whole, and THEN comes happiness. If we look to our marriages to fulfill our own ideas or expectations, we often meet with disappointment or disillusionment. (Pastor Dave Champion)
“The Bible tells us that we all stumble and fall and sin. Before you marry you need to know how the person you are marrying stumbles. You want to know what you’re agreeing to live with and what you have to work with. Marriage isn’t about being young and romantic together; it’s about growing old together (and doing what is right according to God’s ways). (Gary Thomas)
God’s ability to love unlovely people is available to us. If we open our hearts to God’s love and in essence say to Him, “Lord, you know the person with whom I live. You know that I have great difficulty in seeing anything positive about him (or her). But I know that you love my spouse. I want to be your channel for loving him (or her) too. Use my hands, my tongue, and my body to express your love.” (Dr Gary Chapman)
Something to consider: “What if God didn’t design marriage to make us happy, what if God designed marriage to make us holy? What if God’s purpose for marriage goes beyond our fun? What if God wants to use my marriage to reveal my weaknesses, to teach me sides of God I could not see before, to teach me how to love?” -Gary Thomas
A crisis does not have to undermine a marriage. Leaning on each other is so much healthier than bearing the burden alone. Don’t let the heartaches of life pull your marriage apart -Dr Steve Stevens. “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; if one falls down the other can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” -Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
“Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it” -Henry Ford. “Words from a wise man’s mouth are gracious, but a fool is consumed by his own lips. At the beginning his words are folly; at the end they are wicked madness—and the fool multiplies words” -Ecclesiastes 10:12-13. “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense” Proverbs 19:11.
As I grew in spiritual maturity, I discovered the humbling fact that I’m not always right. The truth is, God loves [me AND my husband] and He isn’t necessarily on my side. With reluctance, I accepted this and my prayers changed. Instead of “Help me!” they evolved into “Help us.” And He did. Our arguments became shorter when I stopped focusing on how to win & started focusing on how to serve God and my spouse. (Nancy Moser)
“Take it from the professionals: Jay Leno says, ‘You can’t stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.’ And Bill Cosby says, ‘If you can find humor in anything, you can survive it.’ Researchers agree. Studies reveal that individuals who have a strong sense of humor are less likely to experience burnout and depression and they are more likely to enjoy life in general — including their marriage.” To learn more, go to: http://www.marriagemissions.com/dont-forget-to-laugh-marriage-message-109/#more-143
When a person makes a commitment to something worthy, they don’t automatically “feel like” doing what it requires. In marriage, we have to choose to do the right thing day after day & make every effort to grow & nurture our relationship with our spouse. ‘Act yourself into a new way of feeling! Do right, because it IS right, until it feels right!’ -Collingsworth. (JB & Shugie Collingsworth, from the Lifeway.com article, “Commitment is Tough, But Worth It!”)
Preserve sound judgment & discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life to you… -Prov. 3:21. “Marriage experts insist, whether the 1st marriage or the 4th, couples tend to trip over the same mistakes. Number 1 on the list of errors is unrealistic expectations of marriage.” Go to: http://www.marriagemissions.com/marriage-divorce-remarriage-marriage-message-108/#more-142
If you want to get on my good side, be good to one of my kids. If you want to be on my bad side, be mean to one of my kids. I’m a Dad and I love my kids and want others to treat them kindly. …God is your heavenly Father; your spouse is one of God’s kids. If you want to please God, be good to his kid — your spouse. -Gary Thomas
I’ve never been to a wedding where the bride & groom did not respond, “I do.” But the reality is there’ll be good times & bad times! Sickness & financial setbacks are as much of a possibility as prosperity & good fortune. However, our commitment means we’ll see each other THROUGH these times & as a reward, our love will grow because of stretching & finding solutions TOGETHER. (JB and Shugie Collingsworth, from the Lifeway.com article, “Commitment is Tough, But Worth It!”)
A great example of commitment to marriage: “I married you because you gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults. And the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage… and when our children were growing up, it wasn’t a house that protected them; it wasn’t our love that protected them —it was that promise.” -Thornton Wilder (from the book, “One Marriage Under God” by Norm Wright, page 80)
But I say to you who listen: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you -Luke 6:27-28. The question is, do you treat your spouse in lesser ways than God asks you to treat your enemy? May you never neglect to “love,” “do good,” “bless” despite cursing, & “pray” for your spouse, as God says to do.
If we were to draw a picture of a marriage that functions well, with each person feeling fulfilled, what would the spouses be doing or saying? I think we would see a picture of two spouses working together to allow each other to develop to their full potential, to become all that God intends for each of them to become. Both would work to reflect what they believe from the Scriptures. -Norm Wright
“Marriage places a spotlight on my sins much more than I experienced when I was single” (because your lifestyle isn’t bumped into, to the same extent, when you’re not “cleaved” to another). “We have the amazing ability to be blinded to our own sin.” -Gary Thomas “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death” -Proverbs 14:12. And that can include the death of a marriage relationship.
In marriage, remember: There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action -Goethe. A wise man fears the Lord & shuns evil, but a fool is hotheaded & reckless. A quick-tempered man does foolish things, & a crafty man is hated -Proverbs 14:16-17. If anyone considers himself religious & yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself & his religion is worthless -James 1:26.
It’s a sad state of affairs when we take better care of our cars and houses than we do our marriages. We fill the tank, check the tires, and periodically tune up our cars. We wash windows, paint walls, and re-roof our houses, but what do we do to maintain our marriage? The truth is, more damage is done than repairs are made… Stop saying your marriage is important. Words are cheap. Prove it! -Dr Steve Stephens (from the book, “Experience the Best” page 12)
To be a God-centered spouse, I’m called to love my spouse out of my love for God. Matthew 6:33 says, “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” The question to ask yourself is: How do I bring God’s Kingdom into my house? …Seek first God’s righteousness in your attitude & actions within your marriage & God will surprise you in other ways from behind. -Gary Thomas