Facebook Quotes – Page 12

This is the 12th page we’ve created with various Facebook quotes, which we posted on the Marriage Missions Facebook page as marriage tips, which can still be used in a variety of ways:

• A church, ministry, counseling organization, or an individual can use them to share on their Facebook site, if desired.

• They can be used as points of discussion in marriage classes, mentoring, counseling, or coaching situations.

• Couples or individuals can use these quotes to discuss or consider the issues raised, allowing the Holy Spirit, our Wonderful Counselor, to speak further to them.

They make great discussion points for those couples who want to use them for conversation starters for a 22 Minute Date. Just make sure, if you use these quotes in a dating situation, you don’t get into heated arguments over them.

The point in sharing these marriage tips is to build marital relationship bridges, not construct walls of contention, causing a breakdown of communication. You can constructively disagree with these tips and with each other, and still learn more about each other and grow closer together, in the process.

It is our sincere hope that the tips below will help marriage. As you read them, please consider:

1. Do you agree or disagree? Why or why not?

2. Do you have further thoughts on the issue to apply personally or as a general rule? (If you’re reading them with someone else, please share.)

3. Do any scriptures come to mind, which apply to the marriage tip given? (If so, please share.)

The following are quotes to note for your use (each paragraph we were able to glean stands on its own —for your knowledge, the original sources are noted afterward in parenthesis):

•  “The more you give, the more you get. The more you love, the less you fret. The more you do unselfishly, the more you live abundantly. The more of everything you share, the more you have to spare. The more you love, the more you’ll find that life is good and friends are kind. For only what we give away, enriches us from day to day. Reflect on what you can give to your marriage today. Enrich your marriage.” –Anonymous

•  The rich rules over the poor and the borrower becomes the lender’s slave” -Prov. 22:7. Discuss your spending tendencies with each other. As a couple, avoid buying things on credit. Create a budget and hold each other accountable for how you manage what God has entrusted to you (see Psalm 24:1). Debt kills marriages. How you manage money as a couple will have an impact on your marriage, your family and your legacy.” (Excerpted from Moments With You by Dennis and Barbara Rainey)

•  “Invite over a couple you admire into your world. Whose marriage do you look up to? Who is a stage of life ahead of you and seem to love each other late in life? God has probably strategically placed a couple in your life that would be honored to be invited into that space. Maybe it’s finances, parenting, business… maybe it’s conflict resolution. You can’t change beyond your own wisdom and experience.” (Justin and Trisha from Refineus.org article, “The One Thing Every Marriage Needs”)

•  “You can have a fantastic marriage! I pray that the Lord will put that truth deep in your heart and give you the faith to seek it. In the Old Testament the Lord likens His relationship with His chosen people to that of a husband and wife. Jesus calls the Church His bride. Paul also speaks of how marriage is an earthy example of what we will have with God. God intends marriages to be better than what we see today.” (Paul Byerly, gleaned from The-generous-husband.com blog, “Without a Vision, The Marriage Perishes”)

•  In your marriage find ways to show that you take delight in honoring your spouse. In Romans 12:10, we’re told to, “Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” Are you doing that? Are you showing genuine affection to your spouse? Do you express in small and large ways that you delight in being married to him or her? Do those around you witness the love and honor you give your spouse?

•  Remember: “If you’re too busy to be kind, you’re too busy.” If kindness needs to be re-introduced into your marital relationship, ask God to show you how to ease up a bit on your busyness and then do what He shows. “Be kind and compassionate to one another…” -Eph. 4:32. Don’t forget why you married —because you loved each other. Nurture and make time to grow that love. “Love is patient, love is kind…” (1 Cor. 13:4)

•  “Become your husband’s dream wife. Ask God to help you help meet your husband’s needs: feeling honored and respected, enjoying sexual intimacy, enjoying friendship by doing fun activities together and receiving caring support. Becomes your wife’s dream husband. Ask God to help you meet your wife’s needs: security (physically, emotionally and financially), affection, open and honest communication, and family leadership.” (Whitney Hopler, from the Crosswalk.com article, “How to Enjoy a Lifelong Love Affair with Your Spouse”)

•  “Valentine’s Day should function as a small reminder of the kind of romance we should cultivate 365 days a year. The reason why Valentine’s Day brings out the best in us —romantically speaking —is because it’s something we mark on a calendar. We plan for it. What if you were that deliberate every time you made plans to romance your spouse? What if you pick some ordinary days to do some out-of-the-ordinary things?” (Excerpted from the book, “Moments With You” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey)

•  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Cor. 13:7) “We don’t need to be blind to reality to live out this scripture. Bad stuff happens. People do and say horrible things. REAL love isn’t blind; it sees more than the natural eye. We can love, knowing that God is big enough to work in and through it all and know that God is working in us so we can love with His kind of love.” (Lori Byerly, from The-generous-wife.com article, “You’re Kidding, Right?”)

•  Don’t contribute to having a marriage lived out like it says in Philippians 2:21 where, “Everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.” Our marriages should so reflect the love of God that when others see how we treat each other they want to know our “secret.” When you tell them it’s because inspiration and power of the Love of God, it very well may spur them on to want to know your God. (Cindy Wright)

•  “Isn’t it interesting that in Genesis 2:18-25, Adam had to be told he had a need? God said, ‘It is not good for man to be alone.‘ And even after that, Adam still had to name a few million creatures before he realized that none of them were what he needed. His need was for someone. He needed her. Don’t wait to be told what you already know is true. You need her. You need him. Say it frequently and specifically.” (Excerpted from Moments With You by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.)

•  “Marriage calls us to a selfless life, and any situation that calls me to confront my selfishness has enormous spiritual value… I believe that couples don’t really fall ‘out of love’…they fall out of repentance. We let little vices like impatience, disrespect, selfishness, pride and anger pollute a once-precious relationship. Instead of letting marriage draw us into holiness, we let it draw us into bitterness.” (Gary Thomas, gleaned from the Ncfliving.org article, “Transforming the Miracle of Marriage”)

•  “Follow a couple of marriage blogs, take a marriage class, read a marriage book, or spend some time at a marriage retreat. BE PROACTIVE. If you want your marriage to grow, start planting seeds so you have something to harvest down the road.” -L. Byerly “Learning is a treasure that follows its owner everywhere” -Chinese proverb. “Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or swerve from them.” -Proverbs 4:5 (Quote from Lori Byerly, from The-generous-wife.com blog, “Plant Some Seeds”)

•  “Know when to drop an issue. Too many couples argue an issue to death. They engage in power struggles when it’s best to simply agree to disagree, or honor the validity of the others position. No one needs to be ‘right’ and certainly no one needs to be proved ‘wrong.’ Let the matter go and learn to live in harmony” -D. Hawkins. “When words are many, sin is not absent; but he who holds his tongue is wise” -Proverbs 10:19. (Dr David B Hawkins, from the Crosswalk.com article, “Beware of the Shift”)

•  “It’s easy when you’re familiar with someone, to interrupt what they’re saying because (you think) you know where they’re going. As a kindness, try letting your [spouse] finish his [her] sentences and listen carefully. Even if they end up saying what you expect, you’ve shown courtesy and kindness.” -L.B. “The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought and attended to my answer.” H.D.T. (First quote from Lori Byerly from The-generous-wife.com blog, “Let Him Finish” —second quote is from Henry David Thoreau)

•  Watch your attitude. “Scripture has a lot to say about contention and quarreling. Solomon said, ‘Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop a matter before a dispute breaks out‘ (Prov. 17:14). Imagine the breaching of a dam—floodwaters rushing out, destroying everything in its path. This is much the same as a contentious spirit. Contention becomes provocative, inciting anger, defensiveness and arguing.” (Dr David B Hawkins, from the Crosswalk.com article, “Beware of the Shift”)

•  “Fundamental Things Apply. If you’re considering marriage, realize that the Bible forbids Christians from uniting with non-believers (2 Corinthians 6:14)… But what if you’re already married to a non-believing spouse? Philippians 4:11 tells you to stay where you are and pray for your spouse. Be the best mate you can be and with God’s grace and power your partner may yet come to faith” (1 Corinthians 7:12-16). (Excerpted from What the Bible Says About Love, Marriage and Sex; The Song of Solomon by David Jeremiah)

•  “Love requires giving. We are to be undistracted when it comes to our marriage. Other than serving God, we have no higher calling than to serve our mate. Our mission field must begin with making sure our marriage is the relationship God intended. Our best energies must be given to him/her.” (Dr David Hawkins) Are you giving your spouse the best energy and effort you possibly can to show your love and commitment? (Quote from Crosswalk.com article, “Low-Grade Marriage Headache”)

•  “Don’t worry that your children never listen to you; worry that they’re always watching you” -Robert Fulgham. “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” -Eph. 5:1-2. ‘”This is how everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” -John 13:35

•  During times of marital strife, “when provocative, we must take responsibility for it and apologize. Much can be remedied if we quickly take note of our attitude and actions and apologize. Likewise, we need to note when our mate is provocative and gently —and this is critical—bring this to their attention. ‘Could you say that a little differently’ can be a gentle nudge in a better direction.” -D. Hawkins (Dr David B Hawkins, from the Crosswalk.com article, “Beware of the Shift”)

•  “The distance between a conflict and resolution is an indicator of the maturity of your marriage. Work on shortening this distance, and you’ll be on the road to growing your marriage in the right direction. How do you do this? By praying 1st and then being willing to humble yourself for the good of your marriage.” -D. Walter ” “May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me…” -John 17:23 (Quote is by Debi Walter of Theromanticvineyard.com)

•  “Romance is the anesthetic that enables two normally very cautious people to cast fate to the wind and commit marriage” -Wayne Coggins. The important thing to keep in mind once we DO commit to marriage is that we don’t throw romance to the wind afterward. We need to keep sowing seeds of love, kindness and romance into our relationship, or eventually our marriage will be “gone with the wind.” Keep romancing your spouse!

•  “Guard your heart and your mind. Watch what you watch. Watch what you read. Leave the past in the past… If you find that what you’re doing (what you’re watching, drinking or participating in) brings out the ‘old man’ in you (your old way of life before Christ changed your way of living), guard there. Don’t go there. Lock the door and throw away the key… Watch how your body language speaks, too.” -Sheila Wray Gregoire (From the Tolovehonorandvacuum.com article, “Divorce Proof Your Marriage”)

•  “Surrender your marriage relationship to God and invite Him to do with it what you could never accomplish on your own. Let go of your own plans and pray for God to use your marriage to fulfill His good purposes. Shift your focus away from your own desires and toward God’s plans and your spouse’s needs. As you focus where God wants you look —beyond yourself —you can rely on the strength He will give to build your marriage.” (Whitney Hopler, from the Crosswalk.com article, “How to Enjoy a Lifelong Love Affair with Your Spouse”)

•  “Smile. You’ve probably heard the saying ‘Happy wife, happy life.’” The same goes for husbands. “When a [spouse] is unhappy, everyone in the household knows. Some days you may not feel like smiling around the house, but go ahead and fake it at 1st. Put that plastic smile on and most likely, your natural beautiful smile will emerge shortly after.” It’s sure worth a try. Your smile could pave the way to a happier marriage. (Arlene Pellicane, Crosswalk.com article, Top Ten Ways to Make Your Husband Happy)

•  “A lot of people want out of a relationship because they no longer ‘love’ their spouse. The truth is, they despise what they themselves have become and want a new start with someone who hasn’t seen them at their worst. But changing partners isn’t the answer—changing ourselves is” -GT. “Love one another. As I have loved you… By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” -John 13:34-35. (Quote from Gary Thomas, from the Ncfliving.org article, “Transforming the Miracle of Marriage”)

•  “Much of the time we believe we’re talking reasonably, when in fact we are accusatory and provocative. There is a bite in our voice. We’re making a complaint without realizing it. We believe we are in a space to talk, when in fact we feel defensive and hurt, ready to defend ourselves or attack our mate” -D. Hawkins. “Rid yourselves of all malice and deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind.” -1 Peter 2:1 (Quote by Dr David B Hawkins, from the Crosswalk.com article, “Beware of the Shift”)

•  “There’s no shortage of perspective about marriage today. From: it doesn’t work, to try it out to see how it works, to marriage is God ordained and is the fabric to every strong society. Yet to every given perspective of marriage —what it really is and what it surely is not —see to it that no one takes you captive by their philosophies and their empty deceit about marriage, that aren’t according to Christ.” See: Col. 2:9 (From the Elevateyourmarriage.com article, “God in Marriage: See to it”)

•  Be careful of what you say to your spouse. Don’t speak in haste. “We should also realize that like dropping a fine piece of china, words can break someone and no matter how well your gluing abilities are the china is now just a broken glued plate. Be careful what you say…think first” -Archie Spangler. “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” -Proverbs 12:18.

•  Keep in mind: “E-mail, Twitter, Facebook, all have their places. But no matter how valuable, they don’t substitute for conversation. The drift from ‘talking to texting’ should be a concern for any married couple. Other technologies—particularly TV—have distracted us from conversation for many years. How can you maintain a strong relationship with your spouse or anyone else if you aren’t talking to each other?” TALK! (Dave Boehi, gleaned from the Familylife.com article, “Are We Replacing Conversation With Connectivity?”)

•  “Patience—the very word can cause us to roll our eyes… because when we think of patience, we think of waiting and we don’t like to wait… Waiting can be painful and difficult —especially when it comes to our need for change in marriage. But God says that waiting is good. That’s because it produces patience in us” “May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.” -2 Thess. 3:5 (Quote from Stormie Omartian)

•  “Behaviors, personality types and other preferences have both up and down sides. Expecting your spouse to remove ‘annoying parts’ while maintaining the part you like is asking for the impossible. The best option is to accept the parts you could do without as part of the whole. Focus on the good and downplay annoyances” “Bear with each other…put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” -Colossians 3:13-14 (Quote gleaned from The-generous-husband.com article, written by Paul Byerly, “My Wife Puts Up With Me”)

•  “I’m not saying sex is everything. If you have a good sexual relationship, it registers about 10 percent on the ‘important scale’ —meaning it makes up about 10 percent of what’s important in the relationship. But if you don’t have a good sexual relationship, it registers about 90 percent on the ‘important scale.’ If your life together is devoid of sex, then the issue becomes a gigantic focus of the relationship.” (Dr Phil McGraw)

•  “What would you miss most about your [spouse] if he or she were in a coma? Her income? His cooking? The gentle touch of a hand on your cheek? The ‘I love you’ every morning? The playfulness when you take yourself too seriously? If you were standing by your mate’s bedside today, speaking and hoping to stir a recovery, what would you say? Why are you waiting for a coma to reveal these precious thoughts?” (Gleaned from Assumelove.com blog, “In Case of Emergency”)

•  “Recognize the gems buried within healthy conflict. Some include: alerting you and your spouse to problems and helping you face issues rather than denying/avoiding them; giving you opportunities to break ineffective patterns; humbling you both and inviting God to pour grace into your lives; giving you each insight into your personal issues; and bringing you closer together as you listen understand, and validate each other.” (Dr Greg Smalley, in the Crosswalk.com article, “How to Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage”)

•  “There are a lot of barriers to romance in your marriage —primarily the hectic pace of your lives. But you married each other to become intimate partners, not traffic controllers. …Don’t let romance slip out of your life. It isn’t dependent on the newness of your marriage but on the freshness of your heart, the tenacious desire not to let the crush of life keep you from having a crush on each other.” (Dennis and Barbara Rainey, excerpted from the book, “Moments With You”)

•  Make sure your spouse is a priority in how you approach each day. “Jesus didn’t mince his words about keeping first things first. He said, ‘Love God first and love your neighbor as yourself’ (Matthew 22:37-39). Simple and clear. So, who’s your closest neighbor? The one who shares your bed and daily bread: your spouse… Choices must say that your spouse is your 1st priority of all the people on earth.” -Linda Dillow

•  Move beyond the small story to the greater story. Recognize that your marriage is about much more than just the small story of you and your spouse sharing your lives together; it’s about a much larger story of the great work God wants to do through both of you in your marriage. Your marriage is a covenantal relationship that can show everyone who knows you what God’s love looks like in action. (Whitney Hopler, from the Crosswalk.com article, “How to Enjoy a Lifelong Love Affair with Your Spouse”)

•  To those considering marriage, please know: “Marriage demands toughness. Toughness proceeds out of commitment. No marriage will ever be stronger than its commitment infrastructure.” (Neil Clark Warren) To those who are married and are weary of the struggle: “May the Lord direct your heart into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.(2 Thessalonians 3:5)

•  Bad marriages don’t cause infidelity; infidelity causes bad marriages. – Frank Pittman

•  “For as long as you’re alive, you’re going to find yourself being surprised by life’s events. When life happens, you must determine to make love happen. While love won’t immediately make everything better, it will provide the strength and grace needed to make it thru tough times. Moreover, it will reorient you with God’s love for you, and the love you pledged to your spouse. When life happens, make love happen.” (Kevin B Bullard, gleaned from Mymarriageworks.org article, “Life Happens. Make Life Happen”)

•  Be intentional in spicing up your marriage relationship. “Kiss every day for five to thirty seconds. …It doesn’t cost a penny and it hardly takes any time. A healthy daily dose of passionate kissing will boost your marriage and keep the pilot light lit between you. Give out plenty of kisses, just like when you were dating.” -Arlene Pellicane “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth.” -Songs 1:2 (Crosswalk.com article, Top Ten Ways to Make Your Husband Happy)

•  “Focus on what’s positive. Ask God to help you change negative thinking about your spouse to positive thinking. Aim to catch your spouse doing something right (not wrong) often. Keep in mind that it’s easier for your spouse to change when he or she is in a supportive environment than it is when facing constant criticism. Rather than assuming the worst, choose to believe the best about each other.” -Whitney Hopler (Gleaned from the Crosswalk.com article, “How to Open Your Hearts in Marriage”)

•  “As a home is built, it will reflect the builder. Most couples fail to consult the Master Architect and His blueprints for building a home. Instead a man and woman marry with 2 sets of blueprints (his and hers). As they begin building, they discover that a home can’t be built from 2 very different sets of blueprints.’ -D. R. Please understand: “Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain…” -Psalm 127:1 (Dennis Rainey, from Familylife.com article, 11 Rules on Marriage You Won’t Learn in School)

•  “The Bible compares faith to running a race, and what is marriage if not a daily act of faith? Like any race, marriage requires perseverance. It demands that we keep running past the point where we’re tired and ready to quit. Some days we have to close our eyes and head straight into the wall we find ourselves up against. Along the way, our Father is there on the sidelines, coaching us, calling us toward the finish line.” (Stephanie Rische, gleaned from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Pop The Balloon”)

•  “If you [or your spouse] feels enslaved by any holiday tradition, have an honest talk together. Don’t make it about good or bad or her family versus your family; talk about what works and what doesn’t and what needs to change to have a holiday season that is sane and fun. Then talk to family as needed. Approach it from the point of “this is what we need to do for us” making it clear it is not a rejection of anyone.” (Paul Byerly, gleaned from the blog, “Are you enslaved by holiday traditions?”)

•  “Together with your spouse examine the things you usually fight about. Will those issues really matter five years from now? Or even six months from now? If they won’t, then they are not worthy fighting about. Determine together that you will stop fighting over insignificant things.” “A wise man’s heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction(Proverbs 16:23). (Richard Exley’s quote, from book, Forever In Love)

•  “’Sexual sin destroys a person like no other, because it’s so intimate, so entangling, corrupting on the deepest level’ –J.M. We agree adultery is wrong. The problem is once you get caught in its grip, you’re so drunk with its intoxication, you start humming the hit, ‘This can’t be wrong, it feels so right.’ ‘Flee fornication.‘ (I Corinthians 6:18) Don’t argue or reason with it and don’t underestimate it. Get away, quick.” (Joe McKeever from Crosswalk.com article, “If it Can Happen to General Petraeus, it Can Happen to You”)

•  When arguing with your spouse, “Put your defensiveness aside. This is easier said than done, but if you don’t turn down the volume on the ‘yes, but…” you can never really hear what your mate is saying. You must acknowledge your defensiveness —the part of you that feels threatened, vulnerable, upset about what your mate is saying. Tell yourself this ‘interference’ stops you from being fully present to your mate.” (Dr David Hawkins from Crosswalk.com article, “Active Listening: Slice it Thinner)

•  Follow God’s example, as dearly loved children. Live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” -Eph. 5:1-2. “When you choose to forgive, you untie the knots put into your relationship by letting go of the offense. The moment you forgive, God unties your own tangles, frees your heart and releases His power of grace to love your spouse as He does.” (Quote is adapted from something Gary Smalley once said)

•  “The secret to building an enduring marriage that lasts is to make GODLY SACRIFICES, by placing ourselves, our very lives in God’s hands. Different from sacrificing for our husband or wife, the real sacrifice is because of and to God. When our spouse is the impetus for our sacrifice it can be tainted with our motives. When our sacrifice is to God, He then brings about the outcome that brings Him glory.” -Edward (From the Elevateyourmarriage.com article, “The #1 Factor for a Long, Healthy Marriage”)

•  Christ leads us in triumphal procession and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved, among those who are perishing” -2 Cor. 2:14-15. “When you focus your marriage on glorifying God, it becomes a vehicle so people can smell the aroma of Christ. It demonstrates the gospel, showing God’s grace, compassion, and forgiveness.” (Dennis Rainey, from the Familylife.com article, 11 Rules on Marriage You Won’t Learn in School)

•  “Marriage may be ‘made in heaven’ in the original. But it’s more like one of those kits, for putting together. It will take gluing here, sanding rough spots there, hammering a bit, filing down scratches on this side, planning on that side, carving a piece, bending this section, varnishing, backing off for a frequent look, dusting, waxing, polishing, until what you have is a thing of beauty and a joy.” -Charlie Shedd

•  “While marrying God’s chosen mate doesn’t guarantee a good marriage, neither does marrying the ‘wrong person’ mean that a miserable marriage is inevitable. Once a couple marries, all thoughts about the rightness or wrongness of their choice should be put out of their minds. If they both commit themselves to God and to the marriage, they can have a fulfilling relationship even if they married the ‘wrong person.’” (Richard Exley, excerpted from book, Forever In Love)

•  “Learn how to respond rather than react to what your spouse says. When you react during a conflict, negative behavior (such as anger, defensiveness, or withdrawing) results. But when you refuse to give in to a knee-jerk reaction and instead take a break from the argument to calm down and pray for the Holy Spirit’s help, you can respond in positive ways that will help you work out a thoughtful solution to the problem.” (Dr Greg Smalley, gleaned from the Crosswalk.com article, “How to Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage”)

•  “Any change in the family system —the birth of a baby, the 1st child going to school, the last child leaving home, turning 40, an aging and sickly parent, the death of a loved one, etc. —challenges even the best of marriages.” Please recognize this truth and do what you can so distancing doesn’t sneak up on you. Instead, unite with intentionality as a supportive team together during challenging times. (Quote by Michele Weiner Davis)

•  “How much attention are you giving to your marriage? Are you focused on good as well as troubled spots? When you see trouble do you ignore it and hope it will go away or are you quick to talk about it? The answers you give are indicators as to the level of devotion you have for your marriage. The good news is we’re only one decision away from making significant changes in regard to devotion.” Be intentionally devoted. (Debi Walter, from Theromanticvineyard.com article, “On Devotion”)

•  Why do so few Christian couples pray together? I think it’s because the enemy of our souls knows how effective prayer is. He’ll do anything to prevent it. And our flesh gets in the way, too. Prayer demands humility. It’s hard to be in the midst of selfish behavior and then pray with your spouse. If there’s one practical action step you can take to divorce-proof your marriage: Begin praying daily with your spouse.” (Dennis Rainey, from the book, “One Home at a Time”)

•  “When a husband and wife share tender feelings for one another, something miraculous happens. Their affirming words become light in a dark place, strength in moments of weakness, music to the soul. And if their words are reinforced with gestures of affection, unexpected kindness, and utter dependability, they experience a loving affirmation that enables them to embrace life in ways they never dared alone.” -Richard Exley

•  “Marriage forces changes upon partners which, no matter how well prepared they thought they were, surprise them and require new SPECIALIZED labor from both. Fact: the woman doesn’t know who her husband is until he’s her husband, nor the man his wife until she’s his wife. Before marriage these people were fiancés, not spouses. Fiancés & spouses are different creatures. There isn’t a spouse until there is a marriage.” (Walter Wangerin, Jr from Richard Exley’s book, “Forever in Love”)

•  This is a wake-up call for those that need it. Don’t let strangers treat your spouse with more courtesy and appreciation than you do. If you do —it might lead to either a “dead” marriage or at best a lethargic, tired one! And that’s not what God calls us to have. Don’t allow yourself to have a marriage lived out like it says in Philippians 2:21, “Everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.

•  “Behind every argument you and your spouse ever have are lies that have entered your minds because of emotional wounds you’ve each suffered. Seek healing by identifying what attitudes you each have that don’t reflect biblical truth. Pray for the wisdom you need to discern what lies you’ve believed, and ask the Holy Spirit to renew your mind, and read and meditate on the Bible to fill your mind with the truth.” (Dr Greg Smalley, in the Crosswalk.com article, “How to Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage”)

•  Familylife.com advice: “No texting or talking about important personal issues over the phone. This should be done face-to-face, unless it’s something that can’t wait. One reader said, ‘There’s a huge gap in a ‘conversation’ when texting because you don’t fully understand what that person means unless you hear the tone in their voice or see their face and a lot can be taken the wrong way, creating bad feelings, etc.’” (Dave Boehi, from the article, “Setting Boundaries for Mobile Technology”)

•  “Spoken words that attach high value to our spouse are powerful. They can enrich almost any marriage. Why not try a project to see how true this can be? For 1 month, praise at least 1 thing you appreciate about your spouse each day. Point out things about his or her character (being kind, thoughtful, punctual, organized, etc), plus what they accomplish. Don’t tell your husband or wife you’re doing this.” Just do it! (John Trent and Gary Smalley, gleaned from Focusonthefamily.com article, “A Spoken Message/ Attaching High Value to a Spouse”)

•  “Pursue agape love —the highest form of love to express to each other. Agape love isn’t a feeling; it’s an action that involves choosing to serve your spouse, no matter what. Agape love reflects the way that God expresses His generous, unconditional, and fully committed love to you every day. It’s dynamic, fearless, and covenantal. Ask God to teach you how to express agape love for your spouse daily.” (Whitney Hopler, from the Crosswalk.com article, “How to Enjoy a Lifelong Love Affair with Your Spouse”)

•  “Be selfless in little things. Sometimes I don’t want to get out of my chair to help Barbara carry in the groceries, sweep the kitchen or clean a toilet bowl. But it’s in everyday moments that we teach our selfish self who is boss. This is part of what the Bible means when it tells us to ‘learn to do good(Isaiah 1:17) —to choose death to self, to choose sacrificial love until it becomes our 1st response.” -D. Rainey (Excerpted from Moments With You by Dennis and Barbara Rainey)

•  Guard your marriage: “Avoid unnecessarily spending time with someone of the opposite sex. For instance, if you’re looking for a trainer at the gym, choose someone of the same sex.” And: “Share carefully. If you find yourself sharing things about yourself or your marriage that you haven’t or wouldn’t share with your spouse, that’s a red flag. Not all affairs are physical—an emotional affair is just as damaging.” (Jill Savage, from Todayschristianwoman.com article, “8 Safeguards Against Getting Too Close”)

•  “Submit your time decisions to the 50-year rule. Stop and evaluate the way the two of you allocate your time each day. The 50-year rule asks, ‘Fifty years from now will we be glad or regret the way we used our time today?’ Will the two of you make wise choices regarding your use of time? Or will you let the tyranny of the urgent drive your schedule? How we spend our time is an indicator of what we value most in life.” (Excerpt from The Marriage Miracle, by Bob and Cheryl Moeller)

•  “Whether you marriage is good, bad, or just plain ugly, there’s always hope to make it great. But great does not come easily. Great marriages take courage. It takes great courage to build relational intimacy, which is the oxygen of a marriage. Running from problems is always easier than solving them… But courage is willing to put on the gloves and say, “Let’s fight for this marriage.” -Mark Gungor (From Laughyourway.com blog, “The Good, the Bad, the Ugly”)

•  In marriage we often fall into the trap of expecting things to be done by our spouse, abandoning common courtesies. Eventually our partner can feel no more appreciated than a piece of functional furniture —which can be problematic. Remember: “even if we have an unbending commitment to our mate, most of us are blind to how we lose our marriages by slow erosion if we don’t keep replenishing the soil.” -William Doherty

•  “If you’re struggling in your marriage, take a look at the people you’ve allowed into your life. Are they the kind of people you want to emulate? Do they have the kind of marriage you want to have? Do they treat each other with love and respect? Do they hold themselves to godly standards of living? Do they influence your relationship for good? The people you hang out with have an impact on the health of your marriage.” (Jimmy Evans, adapted from the book, “Life Long Love Affair”) (Also adapted from the Growthtrac article, “The Power of Community”)

•  Praying about your communication, then doing as God leads can make a positive difference. “Pray that you can just be nice. Many marriages could be saved if the husband and wife would just be nice to one another. The Bible says, ‘Love edifies‘ (1 Cor. 8:1). Love builds up and makes stronger. Love doesn’t speak mean-spirited words that tear down. WHAT we say and HOW we say it can either communicate love or total disregard.” (Stormie Omartian, gleaned from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “If Communication Breaks Down)

•  “There’s going to come a time that your spouse is going to begin telling you something that you’re not particularly interested in hearing. Even if you don’t think what your mate is saying is that important, you should still listen intently because he or she is important. Give your mate your attention, and you’ll find that the trust, intimacy, and conversation between the two of you will begin increasing.” (Kevin B. Bullard from Marriageworks.org blog, “You’re Important!”)

•  “Marriage based on romanticism embraces an idealized lie and then divorces the reality once it presents itself. Marriage based on life in Christ invites us to divorce the lie —an idealized view of our spouse and embrace reality —2 sinful people sharing joys and struggles in lifelong commitment.” -G.T. “The challenge is NOT to keep on loving the person we thought we were marrying, but to love the person we DID marry!” (Gary Thomas, gleaned from the Ncfliving.org article, “Transforming the Miracle of Marriage”)

•  “‘Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.’ How true! The closer you get, the more flaws you see. If you looked at me from an across the room vantage point, you wouldn’t see a scar on my forehead or a nick above my eyebrow. Marriage is like that. The longer you’re together, the more you’ll see. Marriage is the process of 2 selfish people learning to love one another in the midst of their imperfections.” (Gleaned from the book, Moments With You by Dennis and Barbara Rainey)

•  When you say, “‘I’m sorry, but…’ What your spouse hears: ‘I’m not really sorry.’ If your actions merit an apology, then apologize. Period. Don’t follow it with excuses or shift the blame. An unqualified apology can be a balm for a wounded relationship. A qualifying follow-up can rub salt into the wound. ‘I’m sorry. Please forgive me’ can open the door to reconciliation. ‘But’ following an apology may slam that door.” (Anne Russ, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “5 Things Never to Say to Your Spouse”)

•  “What do you and your spouse like to do together? If you can think of something, that’s good. But if you struggle to think of even 1 thing, this is a problem. To have good communication you must have things you enjoy doing together, even if it’s as simple as sitting together watching a sunset, reading books, taking walks or going out to eat. If you work together, you need something to do together outside of work.” (Stormie Omartian, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “If Communication Breaks Down)

•  “Don’t let animosity swell up and flood over your relationship. Dam up arguments with honest communication and loving words. ‘The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts‘ (Prov. 17:14). Ask God to make your heart so filled with his love that your words will be like healing waters of encouragement and restoration instead of an open floodgate producing serious damage.” (Stormie Omartian, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “If Communication Breaks Down)

•  “Matthew 5:13 challenges believers to be salt and light to the world. That’s more difficult when ‘the world’ is your husband or wife. If you’re the only ‘Jesus’ your spouse is going to see you’d better think about how you’re representing him. Dive into Scripture and figure out how God is challenging YOU. Don’t fall into the trap of saying, ‘They aren’t living up to their responsibilities so I don’t have to either.’” (Brad, from the Onefleshmarriage.com article, “Be the Salty Spouse”)

•  In marriage: “Run in such a way as to get the prize” -1 Cor. 9:24. “Challenges to be physically fit and healthy have applications to relationship health and fitness. Marriages suffer and fail for many of the same reasons we suffer and fail to maintain physical health and vitality. We indulge some shortcuts in our relationship, take each other for granted, and before we know it we’re feeling resentful and alone” -Dr Bob Burbee.

•  Here’s a marriage tip that you might not have thought of before that might help you treat your spouse with respect: “Think of God as your heavenly Father-in-Law. Keep in mind that God cares passionately about your spouse’s welfare, and you’ll be in trouble with Him if you mistreat your spouse. Remember that your spouse is the son or daughter of God, and do your best to treat him or her that way.” -Whitney Hopler (From the Crosswalk.com article, “How to Open Your Hearts in Marriage”)

•  LOOK for ways to laugh with your spouse! “A marriage without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs—jolted by every pebble in the road. Humor makes all things tolerable.” (Henry Ward Beecher) “Laugh out loud. It helps flush out the nervous system.” “Laughter is the most beautiful and beneficial therapy God ever granted humanity.” (Chuck Swindoll) Even thru the tough times, infuse humor whenever possible.

•  In your marriage, remember: “For as long as you’re alive, you’re going to find yourself being surprised by life’s events… When life happens, determine to make love happen. While love won’t immediately make everything better, it will certainly provide the strength and grace needed to make it through tough times. Moreover, it will reorient you with God’s love for you, and the love you pledged to your spouse.” (From Mymarriageworks.org blog, “Life Happens, Make Love Happen”)

•  It’s important to “understand what’s wrong with the idea ‘We grew apart.’ Are we plants? No. In marriage, we agree to be gardeners. The plant is love, which, when tended, bears fruit. When we marry, we vow to tend the garden—to love, honor, cherish…remember? To have a healthy, beautiful garden, we must fertilize and water continuously. We must be alert for weeds and eradicate them early, before they choke out love.” (Patricia Hartman, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Don’t Say, ‘We Grew Apart'”)

•  It’s important to “understand what’s wrong with the idea ‘We grew apart.’ Are we plants? No. In marriage, we agree to be gardeners. The plant is love, which, when tended, bears fruit. When we marry, we vow to tend the garden—to love, honor, cherish…remember? To have a healthy, beautiful garden, we must fertilize and water continuously. We must be alert for weeds and eradicate them early, before they choke out love.” (Patricia Hartman, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Don’t Say, ‘We Grew Apart'”)

•  Not enough couples do something, which could help them remember what they promised each other on their wedding day: “Get a copy of your wedding vows and review them together. Talk specifically about what they mean. Reaffirm your commitment to each other and the vows you made.” (Richard Exley) Anniversaries are a great time to do this. Plus, consider obtaining a copy of other’s vows to give them as wedding gifts.

•  “There are many stages of life and marriage. Pray that you and your spouse will grow together through them instead of apart. The proof of love for your spouse is the willingness to make changes as your lives progress together. Ask God to enable you both to always be sensitive to what’s going on in the other in each stage of life, and to make any adjustments necessary in how you communicate. That way you’ll grow together.” (Stormie Omartian, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “If Communication Breaks Down)

•  Do you speak positively TO your spouse & ABOUT your spouse? Keep in mind what God tells us in Eph. 4:29, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Are your words edifying, or do they tear him or her down? If they don’t benefit “those who listen” then as far as giving them voice, “DO NOT.”

•  Children are a blessing but keep in mind: “…Family study experts say that the birth of the first child is a major crisis for couples… Most couples have only a vague idea of what is entailed in the task of parenthood let alone the changes, which occur in the marital relationship. One of the biggest adjustments is how to integrate this new person into the family so all three lives are enhanced.” -H. Norman Wright

•  BE AWARE: “In an emotional affair you invest more emotional energy outside your marriage than in it… When you confide in your friend things you’re reluctant or resistant to share with your spouse (or) when something happens and you think about sharing with your friend before you share with your spouse, that’s an indicator you’ve invited someone to stand between you and your spouse” “Flee temptation.(Gary and Mona Shriver gleaned from Todayschristianwoman.com article, “The Story on Emotional Affairs”)

•  “Feeling entitled weakens your marriage. Stop feeling like your spouse ‘owes’ you something. Instead, go 1st, and be an investor in your marriage instead of a mere taker. When you do this (and your spouse does the same), you’ll have a championship-caliber marriage that you’re both proud to be a part of and model to others. Entitlement weakens your marriage, so chuck that flawed ideology to make your marriage work!” -K.B.B.

•  While arguing: “Keep your defensiveness volume turned down to consider what your mate is saying. While you may want to argue with your mate, don’t. Consider what they’re saying and the truth of it. If you cannot agree with all of what your mate is saying, see if you can agree with a ‘kernel of truth’ in what they’re saying. …Scripture tells us that we should be “quick to listen and slow to speak” -James 1:19. (Dr David Hawkins, from the Crosswalk.com article, “Active Listening: Slice it Thinner”)

•  “Sometimes we think we know what the other person is saying, but God says not to answer too soon before you fully listen. ‘He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him‘ (Prov. 18:13). Listening means not talking while the other talks. If it seems your spouse never listens to you—or is always saying that you don’t listen to him [or her]—ask God to give you both a heart to hear.” (Stormie Omartian, gleaned from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “If Communication Breaks Down)

•  “Good marriages don’t just happen, not even when each individual marries the ‘right person.’ They are the product of the combined efforts of God and two committed people who have chosen to make their marriage a high priority, who have each decided that their spouse’s happiness is more important than their own, and who have determined that nothing will be allowed to undermine their relationship.” -Richard Exley (From book, “Forever In Love”)

•  “Let’s stop and evaluate how we spend our time with those closest to us—starting with our spouse. Once gone, the hours and minutes given to us cannot be regained. We either use them to build cherished memories or leave a blank space in our souls. We use them to connect our hearts for a lifetime or to leave us lonely and separated. We either value them for all eternity or squander them for all time.” (From The Marriage Miracle, by Bob and Cheryl Moeller)

•  “When life hammers us, priorities are smashed. While the notations on our calendars are unique to each of us, in one way we are alike: We each must make a daily choice about what we will prioritize and what must be demoted to a ‘do later’ status. While it’s easy to put our spouse on the back burner, it can be devastating to a marriage.” (Linda Dillow) Make your spouse your “1st priority of all the people on earth.”

•  “WIFM? What’s in it for me? Ever heard someone express that? This idea of not doing something when there doesn’t appear to be a reward for the effort is permeating our culture and our marriages. If this is how we act in our marriages, are we surprised when kids don’t get what it looks like to give & live selflessly? We need to set the example. Our attitude has so much in it for everyone, and that should matter more.” (Alecia, gleaned from the Marriagelifeministries.org article, WIFM?”)

•  Many couples mistakenly: try to mind-read—or expect their partner to do so. This should be obvious and yet again, we all assume our spouse knows we need a hug after a bad day at work or figure he’ll wash the car on his way past the car wash because it’s so obviously dirty. The solution: the principle of transparency. Give your spouse the info he or she needs, rather than expecting him or her to know the unknowable.” (Gleaned from Prevention Magazine’s, “7 marriage mistakes even smart couples make”)

•  “Always keep in mind that the enemy of your soul is also the enemy of your marriage and the enemy of your communication. Disrupting lines of communication between a husband and wife is a common tactic. Ask God to keep you both aware of the enemy’s hand trying to stir up strife and misunderstandings. Don’t allow it to happen. If it already has, declare that because God is for you, no one can be against even the 2 of you.” (Stormie Omartian, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “If Communication Breaks Down)

•  “The thing that my wife and I would never contemplate was divorce. We were stuck with each other. Let the world call that imprisonment; but I say it gave us the time and God the opportunity to make things better between us. If we could have escaped, we would have. Because we couldn’t, we were forced to choose the harder, better road.” (Walter Wangerin) “The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.” -Jay Kessler

•  “Most of us get married and try to put it together without ever consulting the printed instructions (the Bible). Or if we do check the Scriptures, we tend to select only those portions that we want our spouse to follow. And we ignore what the instructions tell us about our responsibility.” Remember: “The one who trusts in himself is a fool, but one who walks in [God’s] wisdom will be safe.(Proverbs 28:26) (Excerpted from Moments With You by Dennis and Barbara Rainey)

•  “Pursue growth both individually and as a couple. Help each other live up to your fullest potential personally and in your marriage. Keep in mind that whenever God truly calls 1 of you to do something, His call includes your spouse and involves the two of you working together. Never try to move forward independently, excluding your spouse from your plans. Instead, figure out how you how can best work together on them.” (Whitney Hopler from the Crosswalk.com article, “How to Open Your Hearts in Marriage”)

•  Familylife.com advice: “Regulate use of devices on vacations. Vacations can be a difficult time to unplug from work when email and messages are just a click away. One reader said, ‘It was hard to get ‘unconnected’ even for a few days. But I’m learning that it’s okay to leave your phone at home and not have to go everywhere with it. Who cares if you don’t reply to every text/email right away?’ Love the one you’re with.” (Dave Boehi, from the article, “Setting Boundaries for Mobile Technology”)

•  “A popular bumper sticker slogan reads, ‘Have you hugged your kids today?’ Another, equally important phrase is: ‘Have You Praised Your Mate Today?’ An everyday dose of praise, whether in the form of a word picture or a statement like ‘Great dinner, Honey’ or a ‘You’re so kind’ or even a ‘You make me so proud the way you handle the children’ can do wonders in a relationship.” Pro-actively bless your spouse! (John Trent and Gary Smalley, gleaned from the Focusonthefamily.com article, “A Spoken Message/ Attaching High Value to a Spouse”)

•  “Couples who frequently pray together are twice as likely as those who pray less often describe their marriages as being highly romantic. Married couples who pray together are 90 percent more likely to report higher satisfaction with their sex lives than couples who don’t pray together.” (Linda Dillow) Obviously praying together DOES help couples to grow closer together in many ways with God and with each other.

•  “We have a generation of children today who desperately need to look into the eyes of Mom and Dad and see 2 people deeply in love with each other, committed to one another for life and honoring God in their relationship. If you have children, make sure your children know and see your love regularly. Make the marriage they see in you the same type of relationship they’ll want one day for themselves.” (Excerpted from Moments With You by Dennis and Barbara Rainey)

•  In your marriage beware of using hurtful humor, where “you inflict intentional pain and then hide behind a phrase such as, ‘I was just kidding. Can’t you take a joke?’ Humor that’s based on ridicule is using joy destructively in your relationship. True joy comes when we laugh with each other, not at each other. Personal shortcomings, areas of tenderness, are not material for jokes or the use of humor.” -Nancy Ortberg (From Todayschristianwoman.com article, “What Joy Isn’t”)

•  “You’ve heard people say, ‘As God is my witness, I’m telling the truth!’ Well, He really is witnessing your life, your marriage, and choices you’re making each day. But your spouse is also your witness. Ask them to tell you honestly what they’ve observed—the good, the bad and the ugly. But pray 1st. Ask God to help you hear it with the right attitude—one that wants to grow for His glory and your growth in godliness.” (Debi Walter, Theromanticvineyard.com article, “I Will Be Your Witness”)

•  Begin to practice random acts of thankfulness. A grateful heart is one that focuses on the good instead of the garbage. When we mine for the “gold” in our spouse, even little “praiseworthy” things we can find, and that which Christ has done and can do in our lives, God’s peace has the opportunity to grow, as we’re told in Philippians 4:8-9. So lets think about whatever is “true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable“… (Cindy Wright)

•  “Keep your schedules under control. Don’t over-schedule. Remember, when you took your vows, you promised to love your spouse even when he or she seems unlovable (for better or worse). God entrusted your spouse to you. That person is your primary mission field. Even the best marriages struggle at times. That’s when we have to reach down deep, make a choice to love, and then beseech God’s help.” (Patricia Hartman, from Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Don’t Say, ‘We Grew Apart'”)

•  “One of the biggest mistakes couples can make is sharing their personal problems with their respective families. If all your parents hear is that your husband won’t clean up behind himself or that your wife likes to party too much, they’ll build a case against your partner. You and your spouse may make up, but your folks may still remember the hurt your spouse caused you. Take it private and keep it private!” (Dr Phil McGraw, from the Drphil.com article, “Keeping the Peace in Your Extended Family”)

•  “Love isn’t a feeling [even though feelings are often tied to it]. Love is commitment. It’s time to replace the ‘D word’ —divorce —with the ‘C word’ —commitment. …You can’t begin a marriage without commitment. You can’t sustain one without it either. A marriage that goes the distance is hard work. If you want something that’s easy and has immediate gratification, then go shopping or play a video game.” (Dennis Rainey, from the Familylife.com article, 11 Rules on Marriage You Won’t Learn in School)

•  “Marriage, from the moment we return from our honeymoon, is about learning to see and savor Christ in all aspects of our relationship.” Left to ourselves this would never happen. Life has a way of encompassing everything in its path unless we purpose to fight the tide and swim upstream. It takes a concerted effort on both spouse’s part —talking on the deepest level where hearts connect and spirits collide.” Do you? (Debi Walter, gleaned from Theromanticvineyard.com article, “Where Hearts Connect and Spirits Collide”)

•  “Be honest about your marital struggles. Our marriages become much more attractive when we understand we’re two broken people who have baggage we brought into the relationship. If you want others to look at your marriage as an example then you need to be real with people. None of us have it all together and the sooner we admit that the sooner we can help each other out in the areas where we need help and can offer help.” (Jay Hafling from the Donotdisturbblog.wordpress.com article, “Curb Appeal: 5 Ways to Make Your Marriage Attractive”)

•  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32) “Has your spouse ever upset you? Was it hard to forgive him or her? Unless you’re married to a perfect man or woman, these feeling are surely familiar ones. But next time you are finding it hard to forgive, think of all the times God has to forgive you. What if he started being unforgiving?” -Mark J (a friend of the ministry)

•  Even though “you and your spouse have common interests, experiences, and priorities, you also have different interests, experiences, and priorities. This means that things that are a big deal to one of you may seem trivial to the other.” Be aware: “Often when someone has an unusually strong reaction to a situation, it’s not just about the situation. The overreaction is likely an indicator that something else is wrong.” (Anne Russ, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “5 Things Never to Say to Your Spouse”)

•  “When you feel hurt, check that your hurt isn’t based on unrealistic expectations (like how you grew up or what your spouse ‘should’ve known’). If your hurt is valid, pray about it and share it with your spouse without accusation. Avoid the word ‘you’ and share how the action made you feel. Use the ‘sandwich method.’ Start your comments with what you love about your spouse, then share, then confirm your love for them.” (Patricia Hartman, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Don’t Say, ‘We Grew Apart'”)

•  “During courtship, opposites attract. After marriage, opposites can repel each other. You married your spouse because he/she is different. Differences are God’s gift to you to create new capacities in your life. Different isn’t wrong, it’s just different.” “The Body is a unit… though all its parts are many, they form one body” -1 Cor. 12:12. “Make every effort to live in peace with all men…” -Heb. 12:14. (Dennis Rainey, from the Familylife.com article, 11 Rules on Marriage You Won’t Learn in School)

•  “Sexual chemistry is that subtle undercurrent of the awareness that this person is attractive to you. Author Gary Chapman calls it the ‘tingles.’ The truth is God created us to be sexually attracted to others—there’s no sin in that occurring. But it’s an indicator we need to limit contact with the person who elicits those tingles—unless we’re married to them.” Otherwise, FLEE! (See 1 Cor. 6:18 and 2 Tim. 2:22). (Gary and Mona Shriver gleaned from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “The Story on Emotional Affairs”)

•  “No matter who it is, we shouldn’t allow anyone to speak negatively to or about our spouse, even if it’s our own family. We have to show others we will not tolerate any disrespect toward our life partner. When a family member speaks ill of our spouse do we step in and speak up for them? Do we combat negatives with positive? Real security arrives in a relationship when we know we have a spouse that has our back.” (Tiya Cunningham-Sumter, gleaned from the article “Do You Protect, Defend, and Honor Your Spouse”)

•  “Marriage isn’t about your happiness, or getting all your needs met through another person. Practicing self-denial and self-sacrifice, patience, understanding, and forgiveness are the fundamentals of a great marriage. If you want to be the center of the universe, then there’s a much better chance of that happening if you stay single” “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, or boast…” -1 Cor 13 (Dennis Rainey, from the Familylife.com article, 11 Rules on Marriage You Won’t Learn in School)

•  “Have you ever considered that God has placed you precisely in the marriage you’re in so that you might learn what it’s like to companion and help a fallen one? He wants us to be conformed to His image —He who was known as the one who ate with ‘tax collectors and sinners.‘ (Matthew 11:19 NKJV). Why not stop now and meditate on this blessed truth?” -Elyse Fitzpatrick (From book: Helper By Design)

•  “There are the days when we need to heed Eph. 4:2: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Be careful not to interrupt. Each person should have the opportunity fully to talk, cry, or even scream. Listening with humility and gentleness will suppress the urge to try to trump your partner. When you’ve both had a bad day, it shouldn’t be a competition. When it does, you both lose.” (Anne Russ, gleaned from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “5 Things Never to Say to Your Spouse”)

•  Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” -Psalm 90:12. “Our marriages all come with an expiration date. We may have only this day to connect our hearts; tomorrow may not come. We need to ask God to give us the wisdom to see our marriage as He sees our marriage. Once we do, we will make it the first and highest priority in our lives after our relationship with Christ.” (Excerpt from The Marriage Miracle, by Bob and Cheryl Moeller)

•  “It’s okay to have one rookie season, but it’s not okay to repeat your rookie season. You will make rookie mistakes in your 1st year of marriage; the key is not to continue making those same mistakes in year 5, year 10, or year 20 of your marriage” -Dennis Rainey. If you do, make it your mission to work on that area of your marriage. “Be imitators of God, and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us…” -Eph. 5:1 (From the Familylife.com article, 11 Rules on Marriage You Won’t Learn in School)

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