Facebook Quotes – Page 17

Pixabay computer-419961_640Below are a few of the quotes we’ve posted on the Marriage Missions Facebook Page. This is the 17th page we’ve created with quotes from many different “marriage experts” giving marriage tips, which can still be used in a variety of ways:

  • A church, ministry, counseling organization, or an individual can use them to share on their Facebook site, if desired.
  • They can be used as points of discussion in marriage classes, mentoring, counseling, or coaching situations.
  • Couples or individuals can use these quotes to discuss or consider the issues raised, allowing the Holy Spirit, our Wonderful Counselor, to speak further to them.

They make great discussion points for those couples who want to use them for conversation starters for a 22 Minute Date. Just make sure, if you use these quotes in a dating situation, you don’t get into heated arguments over them.

The point in sharing these marriage tips is to build marital relationship bridges, not construct walls of contention, causing a breakdown of communication. You can constructively disagree with these tips and with each other, and still learn more about each other and grow closer together, in the process.

It is our sincere hope that the tips below will help marriage. As you read them, please consider:

  1. Do you agree or disagree? Why or why not?
  1. Do you have further thoughts on the issue to apply personally or as a general rule? (If you’re reading them with someone else, please share.)
  1. Do any scriptures come to mind, which apply to the marriage tip given? (If so, please share.)

The following are quotes to note for your use (each paragraph we were able to glean stands on its own —for your knowledge, the original sources are noted afterward in parenthesis):

•  “Learn to talk TO your husband [or your wife] not AT him [or her]. You’ll get so much further in conversations and discussions when you figure this one thing out. Although some behaviors may mimic that of a child at times, he [she] is not your child nor should he [she] be spoken to as such. Humility and respect go a long way.” -Christine St. Vil (From the Happywivesclub.com article, “8 Crucial Things I Would Tell My Younger Self About Marriage)

•  “Just because you said ‘I do’ doesn’t mean you’ve said ‘I’m done’. Your pursuit of them after marriage is more important than your pursuit before. Before you were trying to get them to love you ‘for as long as you both shall live.’ But after you’re married is when the real fun can begin. Nights don’t have to end with a good night kiss at the door. You can complete your heart’s desire as often as you like.” (Debi Walter, from theromanticvineyard.com blog, “4 Ways We Should Never Settle in Marriage”)

•  You’ve probably heard the saying, “love makes the world go round. But “love doesn’t make the world go ‘round.’ Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” (Franklin P. Jones) It’s good to keep in mind the following, in how you treat your spouse: “If I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.” –1 Corinthians 13:2

•  Try to exceed your spouse’s expectations. But 1st: know what they are. You’d be amazed how many people are disappointed by their spouses every day. The sad part is most of these disappointments could be avoided if their spouse knew their expectations (preferably, before they failed to meet them). You can’t exceed your spouse’s expectations if you don’t know what they are. The wisest people ask the most questions.” (Fawn Weaver, from the Happy Wives Club blog, “6 Easy Ways to Exceed Your Spouse’s Expectations”)

•  “Marriage is not a magic wand. It won’t solve unresolved issues you had prior to getting married. The little things that get on your nerves before marriage that you never say anything about, will only escalate. They don’t magically disappear. So start expressing yourself openly and honestly, but most importantly, lovingly. The issues you have can be resolved with love and communication, so use them simultaneously.” (Christine St. Vil, gleaned from the Happywivesclub.com article, “8 Crucial Things I Would Tell My Younger Self About Marriage)

•  Before you marry: “If all you’ve thought about is the wedding and not the marriage, then you might need to [and SHOULD] think again.” (Renae Willis) “Your marriage vows are not to be thrown away like yesterday’s newspaper. Hold string to your promises.” (Renae Willis) Please know: “It is a trap for a man [or a woman] to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider his [or her] vows.(Proverbs 20:25)

•  “Strive for WOW…but don’t forget about the now. I don’t know if you’re guilty of this but sometimes when I’m working on surprising my spouse with a ‘Wow,’ I forget the little things I should be doing now just to meet his expectations. Remember it’s consistency in the little things that will matter most. The ABC’s of Marriage: Always Be Consistent.” -Fawn Weaver (From the Happy Wives Club blog, “6 Easy Ways to Exceed Your Spouse’s Expectations”)

•  “I’ve heard the advice ‘Make sure you get to the door before your dog when greeting your husband!’ We had a dog and that’s hard to do. But I like the point of it. Dogs are always happy to see their owners come home and we love being greeted by them. How much more important is it for us to [lovingly] greet our husbands and wives! When you hear the doorknob turn, stop what you’re doing and go hug the love of your life.” (Erin Baxter, gleaned from the Mystery32.com article, “Little Things, BIG Difference: Door Greeting)

•  “All marriages were not created equal. It is not a one-size fits all kind of deal. Take marriage advice from those who are wiser and more experienced (and especially those who are happy). But don’t try to mirror everything you see, exactly as you see it. Take the great advice and examples, and adjust them to fit your unique marriage.” -Christine St. Vil (Gleaned from the Happywivesclub.com article, “8 Crucial Things I Would Tell My Younger Self About Marriage)

•  “Nothing is so strong as gentleness; nothing so gentle as real strength.”(Francis de sales) “The Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone… patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil…(2 Tim. 2:24-26)

•  “Let there be spaces in your togetherness.” (Kalil Gibran) “Don’t smother each other. No one can grow in the shade.” (Leo Buscaglia) But remember that a healthy amount of togetherness is a good thing. God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” You didn’t marry each other so that either of you would be lonely. Balance your times of being apart with great times of loving togetherness.

•  “Be tolerant of the human race. Your family belongs to it—and some of your spouse’s family does too.” (Author Unknown) “Families are like fudge…mostly sweet with a few nuts.” (Author Unknown) “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.(John 13:34-35)

•  “Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.” (Author Unknown) “Warmth, kindness, and a gentle touch are stronger than force and fury.” (Renae Willis) “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1). A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered (Proverbs 17:27). This same advice applies to women/wives in their use of words.

•  Make special effort to notice and generously express thanks for “what you value about your spouse (See: Rom 12:10). The word ‘appreciation’ means to add value to. When you appreciate something you are putting extra value into it. The more you ‘appreciate’ something the more valuable it becomes to you. Appreciation is more about noticing what you value about your spouse (i.e., character traits, personality).” -Smalley (Quote from the Smalleymarriage.com web site)

•  “There will be seasons of marriage in which you don’t feel close to your spouse. You don’t want to go on a date, laugh together, or have fun. Do it anyway. Research overwhelming indicates that our feelings follow our actions, not the other way around. When you make the effort to have fun with your spouse, feelings will follow. Choose to be friends with your spouse—not based on feelings, but based on your priorities.” (Dr. Juli Slattery, gleaned from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Marriage BFFs?”)

•  “Not every day will be full of fireworks, but every day can be full of love.” (Renae Willis) Jesus said, “Love one another as I have loved you…” (John 13:34) CHOOSE to show love, even if it needs to be “tough love” to your spouse today, as Christ would have you… reveal and reflect the love of Christ within your marriage and to everyone you encounter.

•  “We often hear pastors contemplate the fatherhood of God, a wonderful and true doctrine. But if you want to change your marriage, extend this analogy and spend some time thinking about God as your Father-in-Law. Because when you marry a believer, that’s who He is!” (Gary Thomas)

•  “Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.” (Barbara De Angelis) It’s important to realize that “marriage is NOT 50/50…it is 100/100.” (David J. Stewart) Keep in mind though, that you aren’t responsible for your spouse’s part —just your own. Ask yourself, “What would Jesus do” as you face difficult issues in your marriage.

•  With your spouse: “Build a bucket list. Managing a household and family together can get boring. A big part of keeping friendship alive is dreaming together.” So dream and DO things together that you put on this list. “Many marriages die because the relationship is viewed as a roadblock to dreams. Sure, your spouse may not share your exact interests, but any couple can find common ground if they really look for it.” (Dr. Juli Slattery, gleaned from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Marriage BFFs?”)

•  “Anger, and apathy are signs of a closed heart. The best weapon against these emotions is gratitude. Try noticing what you appreciate about your spouse. Look for things your spouse is doing right. Then write them down in a gratitude journal & share them with him (or her). Hebrews 3:13 tells us to ‘encourage one another daily, as long it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.‘” (Dr. Greg Smalley, Gary Smalley and Erin Smalley, gleaned from the Growthtrac.com article, “He’s Not the Spiritual Leader I Wanted!”)

•  “Strong relationships require strong trust, so don’t keep secrets. In marriage, secrets are as dangerous as lies. Your spouse should have a ‘master key’ to every part of your life. Never have a conversation you wouldn’t want them to hear, view a website you wouldn’t want them to see or go someplace you wouldn’t want them to know about. Complete transparency is vital to building complete trust.” -Dave Willis (from Davewillis.org article, “How to Rebuild Trust”)

•  “In our society, we tend to make choices based on what brings us the most happiness. But marriage was never meant to be bent to our individual purposes. That’s a shabby counterfeit of the real thing—the God-given opportunity to live out love & commitment for a lifetime. When we weigh the options, we can trade short-lived personal happiness for the contentment that grows when we shape our relationship God’s way.” (Gary Kinnaman, gleaned from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “What’s Wrong with Happiness”)

•  “We’ve heard it said that laughter is the best medicine, but few heed this advice. This is unfortunate. Studies have proven how laughter not only has health benefits; it can also have a positive impact on marriage. Plus, laughter lowers blood pressure, decreases heart strain, and boosts your immune systems. 1 minute of laughter is equivalent to 10 minutes on a rowing machine.” So start exercising: LAUGH together TODAY! (Dr Greg Smalley)

•  “God has called married couples to be one. If we seek to make decisions independently, then we benefit from only 50% of the intended resource God has placed within our grasp. In marriage, this stewardship of decisions requires two people. …Before you make a major decision, get confirmation for your decision from your spouse.” (Os Hillman, from devotional, “The Role of Spouses in Making Decisions”)

•  “In marriage, it’s the little things that count. A cup of coffee, a single rose, a whispered ‘I love You’ sets the tone for a happy day.” (Renae Willis) Be pro-active… give look for little, and maybe even big ways, to “set the tone” for a happy day for your spouse. Today is a good day to have a good day …for you AND your spouse.

•  “Kindness is more than deeds. It is an attitude, an expression, a look, a touch. It is anything that lifts another person.” (C. Neil Strait) “When the baby’s crying and the bills are due, still speak kindly.” Be kind to one another, tenderhearted…” (Ephesians 4:32) “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.(Colossians 3:12)

•  Because you made the commitment to be married and no longer single: “Your selfish days are over (or at least, they ought to be). The ‘Team of Me’ will not last in marriage. Marriage is give and take and if you only focus on taking, you will put your marriage in a bad situation. Stop being spoiled, and learn to suck it up and move on, especially when you know you’re in the wrong.” -Christine St. Vil (From the Happywivesclub.com article, “8 Crucial Things I Would Tell My Younger Self About Marriage)

•  “Here are several things you can do to make a difference in your relationship: -When you leave the room, take your shoes with you. -When you’re done using the flashlight, scissors, or tape, put them back where they belong. -Find something positive to say about your in-laws. Then actually say it. -Call your spouse’s office and leave a loving message on his or her voice mail.” (Marriage Partnership Magazine) Other ideas? (From: The 15-Second Marriage Improvement Program)

•  “Friendship doesn’t just happen. You have to work at it. Think about friends you had in college. You’ve probably drifted apart. Even though you live under the same roof, this can happen in marriage too. You and your spouse can forget to have fun, can develop separate passions and lose the art of enjoying each other’s company. You can start to exist as roommates.” BEWARE! Pro-actively invest in your marriage relationship! (Dr. Juli Slattery, gleaned from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Marriage BFFs?”)

•  “Your spouse won’t always be lovable and romantic. If you only choose to honor God and love your spouse when they’re doing the same, you’re going to spend a lot of your marriage dishonoring God and withholding love from your spouse. As a Christian, you’re called to live by faith and obedience because Jesus is faithful and with you… Regardless of your situation, CHOOSE to live righteously and without waver.” -Paul Tripp (from email message: Wednesday’s Word… A Lifestyle of Action)

•  “This week, watch for a way your spouse is writing you love letters thru actions rather than words. When you see one, say thank you!” (Marriage Tip sent from Todayschristianwoman.com)

•  “We all start marriage with different ideas about what goes into running a household and our natural tendency is to value the work we do and minimize the work our spouses do. Throughout life, situations change and require us to renegotiate divisions of chores. Each time we try to divide responsibilities, there’s potential for anger and resentment. But with the right attitude and planning, chores don’t need to drive us apart.” (Sheila Wray Gregoire, from the toloveonorandvacuum.com article, “Negotiating Chores with Your Spouse”)

•  “Defer [big] decisions until you can talk about them privately. Make an agreement with your spouse not to accept invitations, decline opportunities or give an answer to anyone until you’ve talked about it and made a decision together. My husband and I say, ‘Let me talk it over with my honey. I’ll get back to you…’ This is a pro-active way to avoid disagreements, misunderstandings and resentment.” -Maggie Reyes (Gleaned from the Happywivesclub.com article, “7 Habits of Highly Happy Marriages”)

•  “She needs you to be her best friend. Everyday, talk to her and tell her what you’re thinking. Even if you don’t think you’re thinking about anything. She needs to hear your heart. He needs you to be his cheerleader. Let him know you believe he can take on the world.” -Sheila Wray Gregoire (From the Tolovehonorandvacuum.com article, “25 Marriage Tips”)

•  “Give some Vitamin F2 every day. What is Vitamin F2, you ask? Flirt and Fun. We usually get instructions to take vitamins. How about giving some every day to the love of your life? Think of marriage like a marathon; it’s long, you’ll get tired, and you need the water of motivation to keep going. Laughing together and keeping that spark of flirtatious love alive will add a little joy to every day –even the hard ones.” (Maggie Reyes, gleaned from the Happywivesclub.com article, “7 Habits of Highly Happy Marriages”)

•  “The tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.” (James 3:5) “Can you imagine there being a fire in your home and you doing nothing to extinguish the flames? Worse, can you imagine if you were the one to start the fire in the 1st place? It would be scandalous, yet when we choose ‘fighting words’ we’re doing this very thing.” -Debi Walter (From Theromanticvineyard.com blog, “The Verbs of Your Marriage”)

•  “The rings you exchanged at the wedding altar do more than just confirm your marital status. Like the rainbow in Noah’s day, like the bread and wine of our Communion table, the ring represents a promise. It’s a visible sign of the vows you took on your wedding day. It’s more than a gem or precious metal. It never stops whispering the vows you shared ‘for as long as we both shall live.'” -Kendrick (Gleaned from the book, “The Love Dare Day-by-Day”)

•  “Love is your primary responsibility in marriage. Did you not vow to a lifelong love at the altar? Don’t break the promises you made.” Persevere in being a promise keeper. “Marriage is one of our main instructors on how love is supposed to be given and received” as it’s pointed out and taught throughout the Bible. – Stephen and Alex Kendrick (from the book, “The Love Dare Day by Day”)

•  Remember and consider: “Nothing is so strong as gentleness; nothing is so gentle as real strength.” (Francis de sales) “Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” (Matt. 12:34) “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” (Eph. 4:2) “Sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.” (Prov. 16:21) “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.(Prov. 15:1)

•  “When one’s temper gets the best of us, it reveals the worst of us.” (Renae Willis) “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.(Ephesians 4:2-3 NLT)

•  “Having a pulse is all it really takes to fall in love. Staying in love is another matter; staying in love requires a plan and some learned skills.” (Doug Fields) The question is, what are YOU doing to help your marital love to grow so you don’t become a victim of “marital drift” = allowing the busyness of life and the junk from our past overtake the love we vowed we would always have for our spouse?

•  Make an extra effort to smile today …let the joy of the Lord shine through. “Smile at each other; smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, smile at each other —it doesn’t matter who it is; this will help you to grow up in greater love for each other” -Mother Teresa. “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.-John 13:35

•  “There’s a significant bond between a husband and wife that’s unlike anything else. The truth is, you’re part of one another. Whatever touches the other, touches you. For example, you’d never cut off your own hand if it was injured, but would pay whatever you could afford for the best medical care possible. That’s because your hand is priceless to you. It’s a part of who you are. And so is your mate.” Remember that! (Kendrick, gleaned from the book, “The Love Dare Day-by-Day”)

•  “Marriage must be respected by all…” -Hebrews 13:4 “When 2 people marry, each spouse becomes ‘holy’ to the other by way of ‘holy matrimony.’ This means no other person is supposed to enjoy this level of commitment and endearment other than you. You share physical intimacy, establish a home, and bear children with this person. Your heart, possessions and life become bonded with this 1 individual.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, “The Love Dare Day by Day”)

•  When you’re tempted to focus on your spouses negative traits “remind yourself of your own weaknesses and how Christ has forgiven you. (OUCH!)” -Marie Osborne “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32

•  “Kiss. Every day. It’s not ‘kiss when you go on date’ or ‘kiss when the kids aren’t around,’ it’s ‘Kiss. Every day.’ Marriage researcher John Gottman recommends a 6-second kiss every day. It should be long enough to feel romantic and will be like a love vitamin – nurturing connection and intimacy in your marriage.” -Maggie Reyes (From the Happywivesclub.com article, “7 Habits of Highly Happy Marriages”)

•  “Talk about your day. Every day. By creating little moments of connection, you’re ensuring the ‘communication highway’ in your relationship is free of roadblocks. Having little conversations every day, makes it much easier to have big conversations when those moments come. Habits are done daily. This one is non-negotiable if you want a healthy, happy relationship.” –Maggie Reyes (From the Happywivesclub.com article, “7 Habits of Highly Happy Marriages”)

•  With your spouse: “Don’t end a conversation about a conflict unless you have agreed on something practical to do about it or have agreed to talk about it another time. If he [or she] wants to end it, you can say, ‘I understand you want to be finished talking about this, but I still think this is a serious issue. When would you like to continue our conversation?’” -Sheila Wray Gregoire (From the Tolovehonorandvacuum.com article, “The Truth In Love: Finding the Balance During Marriage Conflict”)

•  Your marriage needs special attention when: “life has been routine for too long. I’ve learned in counseling and ministry that a leading cause of marriage troubles is boredom. We all get into patterns, habits, and routines. That isn’t all bad, but over time and often for one spouse more than the other, boredom can become dangerous. Sometimes we need to do something spontaneous, adventuresome, or out of the norm.” (Ron Edmonson, in the Growthtrac.com article, “The Art of Marriage Maintenance”)

•  In your marriage relationship: “Don’t rest on your laurels. Practice the three T’s: TIME together, TALK, and TOUCH.” (Michelle Weiner Davis) Keep in mind: “Marriage is not a noun [although it’s easy to fall into that trap]; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you DO. It’s the way you LOVE YOUR PARTNER EVERY DAY.” (Barbara De Angelis) Intentionally look for ways to LOVE WELL!

•  “Love gives people the benefit of the doubt. It refuses to fill in the unknowns with negative assumptions. Let love lead your thoughts, to focus on the things you love most in your spouse —’whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable‘ (Phil. 4:8). Meditate on the positives… develop the habit of reining in negative thoughts.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from “The Love Dare Day-by-Day” – Day 90)

•  “Express Gratitude. Everyday. Expressing gratitude feels good to YOU because you are looking for the positive things to celebrate and acknowledge in every day. It feels good to your HUSBAND [or to your WIFE] because he [she] in turn, feels celebrated and acknowledged.” (Maggie Reyes) It is good to “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.– 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (Gleaned from the Happywivesclub.com article, “7 Habits of Highly Happy Marriages”)

•  When tragedy strikes, divorce rates soar… so: “Resolve now that you’ll still be each other’s greatest priority. Speak and act kindly to one another. Give each other space to handle grief differently, without passing judgment. You’ll need each other in the years ahead. Remember, if you walk through this valley together, your marriage can emerge stronger and more precious than you had ever thought possible.” (Sheila Wray Gregorie, from the Tolovehonorandvacuum.com article, “When Baby Isn’t Perfect”)

•  “The Lord asks us to view the gift of sex as a gift of building. The joy is found in creating. Regardless of the frustration and difficulty you and your spouse may face, the Lord wants to build something more precious than just a few moments of ecstasy. Unselfishness, grace, and acceptance—each can be forged in the furnace of seeking the Lord through the obstacles you face in the bedroom. Will you invite Him to build?” (Dr. Juli Slattery, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Sex: Some Assembly Required”)

•  “Many problems in marriage would be avoided or quickly resolved if husbands and wives followed the counsel in James 1:19, ‘Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.‘” (Kendrick) “Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe” (Phil. 2:14-15).

•  “Social media allows us to show pieces of our lives —the ones we choose to show. This isn’t bad, however trouble begins when we perceive these as reality and not simply beautiful moments in time.” (S. Frederick) BEWARE: we can stumble into coveting —wanting things we think others have: a peaceful and/or nicer home, more money, a husband or wife who appears to be more attentive to their spouse’s needs, etc. This is a sin. (Selena Frederick, from the Fiercemarriage.com article, “Is Social Media Causing Sin in Your Marriage?”)

• “Games are great for couple time and for evenings with friends. They can be educational, deeply challenging, or easy enough for conversation to flow. And with the holidays just around the corner, consider cleaning up your game closet so you’re ready for a little holiday fun.” Here’s a “Prayer Prompt: Ask God to help you create an atmosphere in your home where play is welcome.” -Lori Byerly, from The-generous-wife.com

•  “Perhaps you’re already a believer, but you’ve walked away from fellowship with God. You’re not in the Word or in prayer. You’ve not been an example of Christ to others like He desires. The truth is, you cannot live life without Him, and you cannot LOVE without Him. But there is no telling what He could do in your marriage as you surrender your heart and put your trust in Him.” (Kendrick) Today can be a new beginning. (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from “The Love Dare Day-by-Day” – day 180)

• “Ask the Lord to put a ‘governor’ on your tongue today, to enable you to speak only words that reflect the heart of Christ.” (Nancy Leigh DeMoss) “But I tell you that men will have to give account on the Day of Judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:37). (Quote from Nancy Leigh DeMoss, from the April 19 devotional page in the book, “The Quiet Place”)

•  “You may grow impatient with how long it’s taking your spouse to deal with some painful matters of the heart. But your job is not to be their timekeeper. In fact, God may want to use you to speed up their healing process by encouraging them. Your main role as a loving spouse is to be there, tenderly listening to what they say and how they say it. True love involves loving even the parts that are messy and complicated.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, gleaned from the devotional, “The Love Dare Day-by-Day” – Day 172)

•  “Say something like this to your spouse: ‘I want to make you and our marriage a priority every day of my life. What does that look like to you?” Asking that question may yield some interesting results. …Remember, you and your spouse are constantly changing so questions like this keep you up to date on how they feel at this time of their life.” – Fawn Weaver (In the Happywivesclub.com article, “5 Simple Ways to Prioritize Your Marriage even in busy times)”

•  The sin of pride, from an inflated ego, can cause major problems. “We need to routinely keep our ego in check. Wondering how? As a couple, you can help each other, as iron sharpens iron. In social settings you can help each other turn the conversation to others. When one of you begins to let ego drive the conversation a bit too long, the other can [respectfully] grab the wheel and put the focus elsewhere.” (Les and Leslie Parrott)

•  “If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and you protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, which causes it to grow more beautiful and precious as time goes by.” (F. Burton Howard) This is especially true as it pertains to marriage.

•  “One of the great illusions of our time is that love is self-sustaining. It is not. Love must be fed and nurtured, constantly reviewed. That demands ingenuity and consideration, but first and foremost, it demands time.” (David Mac) Are you investing the time and consideration that is needed in your marital relationship, or are you spending it elsewhere, neglecting the vows you made to your marriage partner, and to God?

•  “God comforts us to make us comforters.” (John Henry Jowett) “Few burdens are heavy when both of you are lifting. Marriage gives you someone with whom to carry the heavy burdens of life.” (Renae Willis) “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!(Eccles. 4:9-10)

•  In your marriage relationship: “Don’t rest on your laurels. Continue practicing the three T’s: Time together, Talk, and Touch.” (Michelle Weiner Davis) Keep in mind that “the most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It is focused attention.” (Rick Warren) Find whatever way you can to give your focused attention to your spouse today, “as unto the Lord.

•  “To start a conflict is to release a flood; stop the dispute before it breaks out.” -Prov. 17:14 “The wise spouse understands that when complaints are allowed to stew, they’ll simmer into a boil over time. That’s why love works to flush negative thoughts from its system, refusing to spark an altercation. It knows that the beginning of strife is like water being poured out, never to go back into the glass again.” (Kendrick, gleaned from the book, “The Love Dare Day-by-Day”)

•  “What can we do to heighten our conversational engagement and truly tune into each other? In a word, listen. And foundational to this task is increasing our awareness of what keeps us from listening. …Cell phones, TV, iPads, magazines, and all the rest are distracting. It bears reminding you. If you want to truly listen to each other, you’ve got to remove these distractions.” – Les and Leslie Parrott (From Growthtrac.com Six Reasons Couples Don’t Listen to Each Other”)

•  “Staying faithful doesn’t involve just not sleeping with someone other than your spouse. It means putting your best effort and energy into enhancing the romance you have with your mate. Faithfulness is more than saying no to others; it’s also saying yes to your spouse.” (Steve Chapman) Pro-actively find ways to say, “yes” to your spouse in words and actions = “yes, I care… yes, I love you… yes, I’m a safe place to fall.”

•  “Don’t be shy about declaring your love for one another…go out of your way to make each other feel special. Look for opportunities to fly your banner of love in public today. Find a simple way to let others know you’re excited about your marriage. If nothing else, when you’re around friends or extended family, let your spouse overhear you express your love and admiration for him or her.” (A.M.F.M Couples Devotional)

•  “In marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather than a critic, a forgiver rather than a collector of hurts, an enabler rather than a reformer.” -H. Norman Wright and Gary Oliver

•  “A good marriage takes work, and we might not see the results of that hard work right away. But ultimately God is the architect and designer and builder at the source of it all. And the tools he uses are the tools of grace… Amazing grace.” – Stephanie Rische (From the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “The Amazing Grace House”)

•  “Our lives should be more than just focusing on our marriage but on focusing our marriage toward what God’s mission is for us as a couple.” (Francis Chan) We should make sure we live our lives so we interact with our spouse in a way that Christ would have us. We are not an island onto ourselves —both within marriage, and within the world. Be mindful that there is a “cloud of witnesses” watching us.

•  Be your spouse’s cheerleader. You were BEFORE you married —it’s probably part of the reason your spouse fell in love with you. Now that you’re married, don’t stop. You’d be amazed at how much this could improve your relationship as you continue to do so. Just because we live together in marriage, it doesn’t mean that we should take each other for granted or be any less courteous or encouraging. (CDW)

•  To connect emotionally in your marriage, “here’s a suggestion: Everyday, even if you only have a few minutes to talk, share your ‘high’ and your ‘low’. Or share your biggest success and your biggest disappointment from the day. When were you happiest/most proud? When were you feeling worst about yourself? They don’t have to be big things, but they have to reflect real emotions.” – Sheila Wray Gregoire (From the Tolovehonorandvacuum.com article, “Stop Drifting Apart In Marriage)

•  “A couple who never takes the time to romance each other when things are going well, will have a harder time believing the best about their spouse when things are hard. Romance acts like a safety net when you’re balancing on the high wire of conflict. Romance gives tangible reminders of why the relationship is worth fighting for. It helps you remember the good times when bad times are screaming at you.” -Debi Walter (Gleaned from the Romanticvineyard.com article, “The Safety Net of Romance”)

•  “Studies show: “Our attitudes shape the way we view our spouse. If you give public praise to others about your spouse, you will inevitably look more favorably upon him or her and you’ll discover a deeper appreciation for your partner than you had before. …In other words, what you say about your spouse, for good or ill, shapes the way you think, feel, and act in your marriage.” –Drs Les and Leslie Parrott

•  “It’s not always easy to do the right thing toward your spouse. But Scripture didn’t tell spouses to submit to and love each other only if they were each doing their part. We do our part regardless of what the other is doing.” (T.D.) “Do not be selfish or try to impress. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too(Phil. 2:3-4). (Tammy Darling, from the Today’s Christian Woman article, “Building a Divorce-Proof Marriage”)

•  Do your part in not standing in the way of your spouse seeing the Lord in a clearer way. Please know that “your behavior can attract or repel your spouse where spiritual growth is concerned. You’re living out what you’re experiencing with God. Is it appealing? Is your relationship with Christ making you a more enjoyable person to live with –or just a more religious one?” (Rob Jackson (From the book, “The First Five years of Marriage”)

•  Today would be a good day to start a good habit. Instead of paying so much attention to things that irritate you, LOOK for humor to LAUGH TOGETHER —to bring you together, emotionally closer to your spouse. “A marriage without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs —jolted by every bump in the road.” (Henry Ward Beecher) Today can be a NEW BEGINNING for you in your marital relationship.

•  Guard your heart, so you don’t give it to anyone other than your spouse: “Bottom line: You need to put your marriage 1st and that definitely includes honoring the feelings of your spouse. If you have any qualms about whether or not an interaction with someone other than your husband [or wife] is right or wrong, ask yourself if you’d be okay if your husband [or wife] was doing the same thing.” -Cherie Burbach (from the Today’s Christian Woman article, “Dangerous Friendships”)

•  “Feeling angry and frustrated? That’s probably the worst time to have a serious conversation with [your spouse]. Anger is not wrong, but it can cloud your ability to think clearly and speak kindly/respectfully. Take the time to calm down, pray, gather your thoughts and then have that talk.”-Lori Byerly “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.Proverbs 12:18

•  “‘Consider it pure joy‘ says James 1:2-4, ‘whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.‘ Can you consider it ‘pure joy‘ when your sink is backed up? Maybe not. But learning to solve problems together in marriage makes us more mature as a couple.” (Drs Les and Leslie Parrott)

•  “In every marriage there are things that are better never said. Into this category fall statements that we utter only to make ourselves feel better, such as ‘I knew that would never work,’ or ‘My mother is much easier to get along with than yours.’ Such words often burn within us, to goad us into speaking them. That’s the time to beware, to pray to the Lord for the strength to throw them away unspoken.” (Margaret Davidson Campolo, from the book, “Husbands and Wives”)

•  “The spouse who struggles with faith issues needs a gentle partner to come home to. A holier-than-thou approach is sure to deepen the divide —not only between your spouse and yourself, but also between your spouse and God. Nobody wants to be smothered or judged or patronized. It’s human nature to pull away when someone invades your space physically or emotionally.” -Rob Jackson (From the book, “The First Five years of Marriage”, page 293)

•  “Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.” (Barbara De Angelis) Remember to apply the principles given to us in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, “Love is patient, love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs…

•  “Every marriage goes through seasons of conflict. Things can be going well and your spouse says something that doesn’t sit right in your mind. Smart couples choose to stop, think and pray before continuing the conversation. This is a good idea, especially if you’re prone to fits of anger. Giving yourself time and distance allows the Lord to help you think with wisdom, instead of reacting with foolishness.” -Debi Walter (Gleaned from the Romanticvineyard.com article, “The Safety Net of Romance”)

•  You may think you have time to do what you should later —that you can straighten out what’s bent in your relationship later, but we aren’t always afforded that time. With my Dad’s death yesterday, all the more I want to say: hug and express love to your spouse and family whenever you can, resolve issues sooner rather than later, and give love whenever possible. Thank God, I did. –Cindy Wright

•  “All of us discover things about our spouse that we perceive as negative. Yet Love refuses to DWELL on these negatives. Violation of this principle has destroyed many marriages. Few can survive the constant harassment of a spouse. It doesn’t encourage one to change, but to give up. When we focus on the positive aspects of the spouse and give verbal affirmation, he/she is more likely to continue to grow.” -Gary Chapman

•  “When I am frustrated with my husband and feel like giving up on us, I have two choices [that God would want me to have]. One: I can choose love and work on my marriage or: Two, I can choose love and work on my marriage. (Darlene Schacht) “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.(Jesus, as told in John 13:34)

•  “Ask God for wisdom on how to live with your spouse who’s different from you. Instead of trying to change your spouse and correct ALL of the bad habits, how can you accept the situation or adjust yourself? My wife Barbara realized this early in our marriage. She recalls, ‘I had to realize that God had to change Dennis. I couldn’t.’ Marriage may be an institution, but it isn’t a reformatory.” -Dennis Rainey

•  Never go to a place (physically or virtually) where you wouldn’t take your spouse. Never text, talk to, or email someone anything you wouldn’t want your spouse to hear or see. On your wedding day you vowed to be faithful to him or her for life. “Our lives and circumstances will not automatically line up to support and celebrate our marriage vows. From the day we say, ‘I do’ our job is to make sure they do.” Ngina Otiende

•  “Be more concerned about your own rough spots than those of your spouse. Jesus said we should take the log out of our own eye before trying to take the speck out of someone else’s eye. That’s truly advice made in heaven for marriage. If I’m not willing to make changes, how can I expect my spouse to change?” (Dennis Rainey)

•  “Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ” (Philippians 1:27). Are you conducting yourself within your marriage, within your home, and outside of your home “in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ”? No matter what your spouse does, it doesn’t give you a license to say or do that, which is wrong. Continually seek to reveal and reflect the heart of Christ within your marriage.

•  “Begin to pray for exactly what your mate needs. Pray for his heart. Pray for her attitude. Pray for truth to replace lies and forgiveness to replace bitterness. Pray for a genuine break through in your marriage. Pray for love and honor to become the norm. Pray for romance and intimacy to go to a deeper level. One of the most loving things you can ever do for your spouse is to pray for them.” -Stephen and Alex Kendrick

•  Pro-actively affirm your spouse: “Make a list of 10 things you appreciate about your spouse. Write each one on a separate post-it note and hide them around the house so they’ll find them over time. Hiding place ideas: underwear drawer, inside the coffee filters, around their toothbrush, on the shower wall, on their car dash, inside their briefcase, on the washing machine control panel, in the mailbox.” -Debi Walter (From the Engagedmarriage.com blog, “5 Romantic Ideas for Each of the 5 Love Languages)

•  “Watch out for parasites! A parasite is anything that latches onto you and sucks the life out of your marriage. They’re usually in the form of addictions like gambling, drugs or porn. They promise pleasure but grow like a disease and consume more and more of your thoughts, time, and money. They steal away your loyalty and heart from those you love. To love your spouse, you must destroy any addiction that has your heart.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from The Love Dare Day-by-Day)

•  “A marriage can’t be sustained with romance alone. But added to security, meaningful communication and meaningful touch, it can be a tremendous source of energy and growth. Wise husbands and wives take time to practice small acts of touching: holding hands in a walk through the mall, stopping to rub your mate’s shoulders for a moment…These important acts can work like ‘super bloom’ to grow a relationship.'” (Gary Smalley, from the Growthtrac.com article, “It Doesn’t Begin in the Bedroom”)

•  “If you haven’t pursued your spouse romantically in a long time, here are a few ideas: -Write a personal note and mail it to them. -Find your wedding picture and place it on your spouse’s dresser saying, ‘I still do!’ -Rub your spouse’s neck after a long day. When you finish kiss the same spot. -Talk to them about your desire to change and what they’d like to see change too.” -Debi Walter from theromanticvineyard.com

•  “Genuine love doesn’t necessarily spring from feelings. Although feelings of affection will follow, genuine love is initially an action directed toward fulfilling another person’s needs. Persistent love —like the dripping of water on a rock —can [usually] wear away a person’s resistance. It’s nearly impossible to stay angry with or emotionally distant from someone who unconditionally loves and values you.” (Gary Smalley, from the Growthtrac.com article, “It Doesn’t Begin in the Bedroom”)

•  In your marriage, “what makes you feel like you’re drifting apart? When you feel as if your spouse doesn’t understand the big things going on in your heart, or the big things that you do. So here’s a suggestion: Everyday, share your ‘high’ and your ‘low’. Or share your biggest success and your biggest disappointment from the day. They don’t have to be big things, but they have to reflect real emotions.” (Sheila Wray Gregoire, from the Tolovehonorandvacuum.com article, “Stop Drifting Apart In Marriage)

•  “Re-falling in love after a painful experience in marriage IS possible. But that can only happen if the couple resolves to elevate their marriage covenant beyond romance and affection. The covenant that God has ‘acted as a witness’ never changes, unlike romance and affection, which exists in one instance and fades in the next moment.” Phillip Mwaura

•  “Though situations can come up to prevent us from following thru on a commitment, our spouse should know they can count on us if it’s possible. The loyalty in keeping our word to them should be the same (or greater) as it is to our boss, pastor, or anyone. Jesus taught us to let our ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and our ‘no’ be ‘no’ (Matt. 5:37). To win the trust of your mate, start with doing what you say you’ll do.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from The Love Dare Day-by-Day)

•  “Empathy is important in marriage. It’s easy to judge or be critical. Oftentimes cultivating empathy starts with knowing God’s looking at YOU through the filter of love and grace. So why shouldn’t you have empathy for your spouse? Write down the word empathy, post it on your frig for the year and say, ‘Lord, teach us how to empathize with each other every day.’ That’s the goal: to be an empathizer of your spouse.” (Paul Baloche, from the Growthtrac.com article, titled, Paul Baloche”)

•  “How do you greet your spouse when they 1st wake up or as they’re getting ready for the day? Go beyond the routine ‘Good Morning.’ Set a positive tone for the day. “Words from a wise man’s mouth are gracious…” (Ecc 10:12). Saying, ‘I love you’ provides reassurance and comfort that you still love and are committed to your spouse. Compliments ignite passion and say that you’re ‘in love’ and still ‘attracted’ to your spouse.” (Quote from the Smalleymarriage.com web site)

•  “Your marriage vows are not to be thrown away like yesterday’s newspaper. Hold string to your promises.” (Renae Willis) “It is a trap for a man [or woman] to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider his [her] vows.” (Proverbs 20:25) “Simply let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no, no,’ anything beyond this comes from the evil one.(Matthew 5:37)

•  “Building a marriage is a lot like building a house. It is by grace—amazing grace—but it doesn’t happen magically overnight. It requires us to roll up our sleeves and let our sweat soak into the floorboards and the plaster. There are times when the task feels utterly daunting and that it’d be better to just give up. It’s then that we have to cling to the vision we were given and we vowed to love till death do us part.” (Stephanie Rische, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “The Amazing Grace House”)

•  Don’t fall into the “taking each other for granted” club, just because you’re married. Determine to show love and gratitude in big and small ways to your spouse as you should, and God would have you. Keep in mind that: “Life is just a vapor. Here today, gone tomorrow. What greater gift can you give your spouse than letting him (or her) know how thankful you are they’re here in this moment?” – Fawn Weaver (From the Happywivesclub.com article, “5 Benefits of Expressing Gratitude For Your Spouse Every Morning”)

•  “It’s hard to guess how many arguments could be averted if couples would pray about their differences and let them go.” (Romie Hurley) “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.James 5:16

•  “Whether on the phone or when your spouse leaves for work, leave well. If you’re in person, see them to the door. Ask 2 questions: ‘What can I do for you today?’ and ‘How can I pray for you today?’ Just 2 questions. In times of busy-ness these matter so much—they say, “even if I’m busy, I’m going to take the time to pray for you, and I’m going to do something for you, because you matter.’” -Sheila Wray Gregoire (From the Tolovehonorandvacuum.com article, “Stop Drifting Apart In Marriage)

•  “Working on a marriage for a long time teaches you some things about timing. You learn to ask yourself, ‘When would be a good time to talk about this?’ You learn to ask your spouse that same question. Sometimes it’s a matter of waiting for and recognizing the right time before you say anything at all.” (Queen Esther is a good example of saying the right thing at the right time in a prayerful, careful way.) (Margaret Davidson Campolo, from the book, “Husbands and Wives”)

•  “Feel like sleeping on the couch? Take yourself by the ear and put yourself in that bed. You might sleep on the edge, but at least you’re in the same bed. Feed the connecter, not the separator. Often we march out of marriage or making silly choices because we give ourselves more wriggle room than we should. To have a marriage that lasts a lifetime, we must treat it like we want it to last a lifetime.” -Ngina Otienda (From the Intentionaltoday.com article, “4 Things You Must Believe For Your Marriage to Flourish”)

•  Understand that being flexible in “making necessary marital adjustments has a divine purpose [none of us has ‘arrived’]. God uses these issues to combine two unique people into something new called ‘us.’ God apparently uses these adjustments to teach us how to love another dramatically different, imperfect human being. At prime moments, God will use your marriage to show you how to love the unlovely.” -Dennis Rainey

•  “Over-commitment and exhaustion are the most insidious and pervasive marriage killers you’ll ever encounter as a couple.” (James Dobson) Be aware and pray for one another. Also, pray for yourself and then look for ways not to get caught up in too much busyness, which can attack your attitude. Don’t give into it. “When the fire of prayer goes out, the barrenness of busyness takes over.” (George Carey) Pray and don’t over-commit!

•  “Love convinces a couple that they are the greatest romance that has ever been, that no two people have ever loved as they do, and they will sacrifice absolutely anything in order to be together. And then marriage asks them to prove it” – Mike Mason. Through it all, God asks us to prove HIM. See: John 13:34-35.

•  “Being married to someone is not about me. That person is not my Prozac. They’re not meant to make me happy but to help me grow.” (Dr John Townsend) “Marriage is a 3-dimensional relationship: spouses relating to one another and each spouse relating to God.” (David Ferguson) “Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.(2 Peter 3:18)

•  “If we lined up your actions toward your spouse with what the Bible says you should do, would your actions agree with the Bible or your culture? It feels right to do what everyone else is doing, but when we follow the norms, we end up with the same problems -Gil Stieglitz. “‘Everything is permissible’, but not everything is helpful… Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.(1 Corinthians 10:23-24)

•  “Almost every sinful action committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. It’s a trait we hate in others, though we justify it in ourselves. Yet you can’t point out the many ways your spouse is selfish without admitting that you can be selfish too. Remember, your spouse also has the challenge of loving a selfish person. Determine to be the 1st to demonstrate real love to them, with your eyes wide open.” -Kendrick (From the book, “The Love Dare Day-by-Day”)

•  “Keep this in mind: When we say a good word to the world about our marriages, we’re saying a good word about marriage itself. In case you haven’t noticed, the institution has fallen on hard times. People are afraid of becoming another divorce statistic. We could use a few voices that make it clear that marriage is no burden; it’s a gift from God that keeps on giving.” (Association of Marriage and Family Ministries) (From Couples Devotional from A.M.F.M)

•  “Marriages tend to suffer when we spend our time thinking about what we don’t have. When we compare our spouse to someone else, or focus on the weaknesses our our relationship, we move in that direction. But for today, change the flow. Focus on what you’re thankful for. What about your spouse do you appreciate? When we focus on what we are thankful for, we find more things for which to be thankful!” (Lee H. Baucom)

•  This Thanksgiving and Christmas season and throughout the year: “Be careful then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” (Ephesians 5:15-17) Prayerfully examine all you have on your schedule to do and cut back on that, which really won’t matter in the light of eternity.

•  “Real giving is when we give our spouses what’s important to them, whether we understand it, like it, agree with it, or not.” (Michele Weiner-Davis) “This is especially important to remember around holidays.” (Renae Willis)

•  Some hurt/angry spouses think the other should know what’s upsetting them and stop talking. Here’s a tip that might help in this situation: “Don’t keep asking what’s wrong. Instead, say something like, ‘I’ve obviously done something to make you feel bad and I’m so sorry. I’m guessing you’re even more upset than it’s not clear to me. But I want to make it right. Can you tell me what’s going on?'” Then Listen! -Les and Leslie Parrott

•  “Why do we have such low standards for ourselves, yet we have high expectations for our mate? Answer: we’re all selfish. Even generous actions can be selfish if the motive is to gain a reward or bragging rights. If you do something seemingly good to manipulate your husband or wife, you’re still being selfish. The bottom line is you either make decisions out of love for others or out of love for yourself.” -Kendrick (From the book, “The Love Dare Day-by-Day”)

•  “People who are deeply committed to marriage as a lifelong vow have happier marriages not only because of what they do in their relationships, but because of what they think about being married in general. Stated another way: the happiness you get from being married depends in part on how satisfying you find day-to-day interactions. It also depends on whether you see the role itself as important and valuable.” -Corey (From the Simplemarriage.net blog, “Three ways to handle an unhappy marriage”

•  “You and your spouse do not have to go to a party just because you were invited to it. Be good stewards of your time and energy. Even Jesus, the Son of God knew He had to retreat from the clamor of the crowds for quiet times with His Father to renew His strength. Pace yourselves and find the balance between togetherness and separateness.” – Deborah Tyrell (Gleaned from the Newlife.com article, “Thoughts for the Holidays”)

•  Wise marriage tip: “Forgive. No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. If you make forgiveness a habit —for everything from major mistakes to little annoyances (every day, I have to forgive my husband for leaving the wet towel on the bathroom counter) —you’ll keep resentment from growing.” (Karen Lodato) “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” -Eph. 4:32 (From the Growtrac.com article, “10 Marriage Tips Every Wife Needs to Hear”)

•  This Christmas season, take note: “When the fire of prayer goes out, the barrenness of busyness takes over.” (George Carey) When you’re too busy to be kind, you’re too busy. Pray for each other, and pray for your marriage and family life —for peace and love to be lived out. And prayerfully examine all you have to do before you and cut back on that, which really won’t matter a hundred years from now.

•  This Christmas season: “PUT YOUR MARRIAGE and FAMILY FIRST. It’s hard to take care of each other when you’re worried about disappointing loved ones. But if both sets of grandparents plan simultaneous celebrations, someone’s got to be disappointed. Don’t sacrifice your spouse’s needs. Decide together what you want to happen in December. Maybe you should say no to your uncle’s annual trip so you can skate with your kids.” (James and Heather Sells, Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Peace on Earth—and at Your House, Too”)

•  When you go thru seasons of emotional distance, your mind often “makes issues bigger than they really are…even creating issues that aren’t there. Decide that in your marriage you’ll regularly talk about issues when you have time, not when you’re both stressed. In busy times problems are magnified, so trying to talk about them will likely increase the feeling of distance. Keep them until you have the time.” (Sheila Wray Gregoire, from the Tolovehonorandvacuum.com article, “Stop Drifting Apart In Marriage)

•  Are you giving God the 1st fruit (Ezekiel 20:40) of your day —your choicest gift of your available time? A good way to start your day is to say this prayer: “Lord, each hour of this day, I’m depending on You. Let my words, attitudes, decisions, and my actions bring glory to you.” And then do YOUR part in helping this to happen —especially in your interactions with your spouse. “Turn from evil and do good.” (Psalm 34:14)

•  “Many people have unrealistic expectations about the holidays that are promoted by the media. It’s important to remember what really matters. Don’t confuse giving love with giving gifts. Although gifts can be an expression of love, so are your time, affection, words of affirmation, and your willingness to forgive an offense. Decide on a budget and invite someone to hold you accountable for keeping it.” -Deborah Tyrell (Gleaned from the Newlife.com article “Thoughts for the Holidays”)

•  “If you feel close to your spouse, it’s because you’re communicating well. When communication falls flat, satisfaction drops. Most couples need 60 minutes a day to converse. Lingering over a meal often serves this purpose, or taking advantage of a quiet house when kids are in bed, turning off the radio when you’re together in the car, or turning off the TV when it’s simply background noise–so you can talk.” (Les and Leslie Parrott)

•  “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus(Philippians 4:5-7).

•  The holidays can be especially stressful. The expectations are high, the demands unrelenting, and the pressure ever building. When there seems to be no way to alleviate the pressure, a change in our outlook is the secret to making the holidays more than just an anxiety-inducing frenzy of greedy kids, visiting family members, and never-ending church activities.” -Keryn Horwood (From the Justbetweenus.org article, “5 Secrets to Reducing Holiday Stress”)

Print Post

Filed under: Social Media

Join the Discussion

Please observe the following guidelines:

  • Try to be as positive as possible when you make a comment.
  • If there is name-calling, or profane language, it will be deleted.
  • The same goes with hurtful comments targeted at belittling others; we won't post them.
  • Recommendations for people to divorce will be edited out–that's a decision between them and God, not us.
  • If you have a criticism, please make it constructive.
  • Be mindful that this is an international ministry where cultural differences need to be considered.
  • Please honor the fact this is a Christ-centered web site.

We review all comments before posting them to reduce spam and offensive content.