Facebook Quotes – Page 18

Pixabay computer-419961_640Below are a few of the quotes we’ve posted on the Marriage Missions Facebook Page. This is the 18th page we’ve created with quotes from many different “marriage experts” giving marriage tips, which can still be used in a variety of ways:

•  A church, ministry, counseling organization, or an individual can use them to share on their Facebook site, if desired.

•  They can be used as points of discussion in marriage classes, mentoring, counseling, or coaching situations.

•  Couples or individuals can use these quotes to discuss or consider the issues raised, allowing the Holy Spirit, our Wonderful Counselor, to speak further to them.

They make great discussion points for those couples who want to use them for conversation starters for a 22 Minute Date (the guidelines are posted in the Romantic Ideas topic). Just make sure, if you use these quotes in a dating situation, you don’t get into heated arguments over them.

The point in sharing these marriage tips is to build marital relationship bridges, not construct walls of contention, causing a breakdown of communication. You can constructively disagree with these tips and with each other, and still learn more about each other and grow closer together, in the process.

It is our sincere hope that the tips below will help marriage. As you read them, please consider:

  1. Do you agree or disagree? Why or why not?
  1. Do you have further thoughts on the issue to apply personally or as a general rule? (If you’re reading them with someone else, please share.)
  1. Do any scriptures come to mind, which apply to the marriage tip given? (If so, please share.)

The following are quotes to note for your use (each paragraph we were able to glean stands on its own —for your knowledge, the original sources are noted afterward in parenthesis):

•  “Every married couple has to deal with making marriage adjustments. If you make the changes needed in your own behavior and learn to tolerate frustrating traits in your spouse, your attitude will be more in line with what James wrote: ‘Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials(James 1:2). He said to consider it all joy WHEN you encounter trials —not IF you encounter them.” -Dennis Rainey

•  When a spouse is ill, it helps us to “slow down and take inventory of our love. During sickness we discover: – How unselfish our love is–showing a willingness to serve without being served in return. – How strong our friendship is when nothing romantic is able to happen. – How much we’re willing to be inconvenienced for the good of another. – How grateful we are for time together” in sickness and in health. (Debi Walter) (From Theromanticvineyard.com article, “In Sickness and in Health”)

•  “I’ve declared this Christmas the ‘Christmas of my First Love’ where I’ll help my spouse and our family shift our focus from the mall to the manger. The manger is quiet and less crowded. It’s a place where children are always welcome. Spending time here will help our family to keep our eyes and hearts fully focused on Jesus.” (Jim Burns and Leslie Snyder) It’s a declaration we’re making in our home! How about you? (Gleaned from the Homeword.com article, “From the Mall to the Manger: Returning Faith to the Forefront of Christmas”)

•  “Better a patient man than a warrior; a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city“ (Proverbs 16:32). “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense“ (Proverbs 19:11). “Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue“ (Proverbs 17:28). This wise advice applies to both husbands AND wives.

•  “Accepting others as they are can be the best gift you give yourself. Holidays can be stressful. We’re often with people who are difficult to be around. You don’t have to like what your family members do. But you do need to show love and grace to them. Dr Minirth, a Christian psychiatrist, warns that this is not the time to try to fix your family. There are 364 other days of the year to address problems.” (Keryn Horwood, gleaned from the Justbetweenus.org article, “5 Secrets of Reducing Holiday Stress”)

•  “When you and your spouse plan your gathering of family and friends, set aside a ‘fellowship’ time when everyone can take turns listening to one another. Ask: ‘What were you most thankful for this past year? What have you learned from the past year? How would you like to grow next year?’ If you take the time for authentic fellowship, everyone remembers it far longer than if you merely socialize with them.” –Rick Warren (Gleaned from the Justbetweenus.org article, “Purpose Driven Christmas”)

•  Make it a point to give your spouse some “good press” (talking well about them) when you’re with others. “Few things can boost a person’s self-esteem more than hearing that their partner has been putting them in a positive light to others. When 2 people are doing that for each other, they reap a double dose of love. So, consider making it your mission to spread some good press about your spouse.” (Les and Leslie Parrott)

•  “When gold is mined, tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold. But one doesn’t go into the mine looking for dirt; one goes in looking for gold. That’s the way spouses develop healthy relationships. Unhealthy couples only see the dirt. If you want a great relationship, look for the good, not the bad. The more good qualities we look for in each other, the more good qualities we’re going to find.” (Les and Leslie Parrott)

•  The “leave and cleave” principle as given in the Bible, “in practical terms at the holidays, means that we take into consideration what’s good for our spouse. We stand up for our spouse if a family member gets out of line and we don’t ask our spouse to be someone they’re not at family gatherings. And, it goes without saying, we don’t treat our spouse differently in front of our family than at other times.” -Lori Byerly (from The-generous-wife.com article, “Your Marriage Is More Important)

•  “Don’t use Facebook as a place to air your dirty laundry concerning your spouse. Whether directly outing your spouse’s faults or using the passive-aggressive approach, it’s never a good idea. Not only does it embarrass and undermine your spouse, it also can make other Facebook friends uncomfortable. No one wants to watch you and your spouse fight in real life, and no one wants to watch it on Facebook either.” –Paula Reece (From Yourtango.com article, “Facebook and Your Marriage: 10 Must-Read Tips”)

•  It’s tempting to tell others about upsets “before you’ve had a chance to cool off, pray about, and work thru it with your spouse. ‘I encourage people not to act on impulse,” says [Carla] Schemper. “It’s easy to think, ‘I have to talk to someone!’ and then blurt out your story without thinking thru the implications’ …Ask yourself, ‘Will there be damaging consequences I can never undo if I share this info?'” (Janis Long Harris, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Public Disclosure”)

•  “People rarely have pure intentions when they seek out exes, says Charles Orlando. ‘Defriend, disassociate, disengage.’ The protection of the Internet allows for more forward conversation, points out Karen Sherman, PhD. Seeing what an old friend is up to, is part of the fun of Facebook. But ONLY if your partner is OK with it. If you know your spouse would be upset, reject the friend request.” –Dawn Papandrea (From Womansday.com article, “Don’t Let Facebook Hurt Your Marriage!”

•  HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! As we look forward to a new year, with new opportunities before us, we encourage you to pray this prayer with us: “Lord, help us to remember when we first met and the strong love that grew between us. Help us to love in practical ways so that nothing can divide us. May our words be kind and our thoughts be gracious. May we remain humble enough to ask for forgiveness and wise enough to freely forgive.”

•  When departing: “do you offer any kind of kiss or just a friendly, ‘See you later!’ Do you kiss like you mean it or give a pathetic little peck kiss, faux lip kiss (barely grazing your spouse’s lips), the across-the-room sound- effect kiss, or the kiss-on-the-cheek kiss? Remember: (1) That’s the feeling they’ll hold all day. (2) Kissing ‘like you mean it’ is a sign of your devotion for one another.” (Quote from the Smalleymarriage.com web site)

•  “COMMIT to working through the adjustments needed in your marriage. The apostle Paul provided guidelines for handling adjustment rhubarbs when they come your way: ‘Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself‘ (Phil. 2:3). That’s a description of a grace-based marriage—giving your partner room to be different.” –Dennis Rainey

•  “Working on your marriage is your greatest witness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Marriage is about the glory of God —not about the happiness of man.” (Dennis Rainey) Here’s a friendly marital reminder to help you in this mission: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.(Ephesians 4:2)

•  Set Facebook rules together with your spouse. “Your page may be your own, but have respect for your mate, says Dr. Karen Sherman. ‘Be aware of one another’s sensitivities.’ For instance, maybe you’re not thrilled that your husband is posting photos of you in your bikini. Or he doesn’t like when you tag him in posts that share a strong political view. Discuss posting no-nos to avoid future conflicts.” -Dawn Papandrea (From Womansday.com article, “Don’t Let Facebook Hurt Your Marriage!”

•  “There are times in a marriage that you may not feel in love anymore. Choose to love anyway. There are times when you may not be attracted to your spouse. Choose to love anyway. Marriage is a commitment, in good times and in bad. Those vows are sacred. They don’t say ‘if you have bad times.’ They say “in good times AND in bad”, implying that there will be bad times. It’s inevitable. So choose to love anyway.” (Karen Lodato, gleaned from the Growtrac.com article, “10 Marriage Tips Every Wife Needs to Hear”)

•  “Oh, what life-giving power can be found in an encouraging word! So think of specific way you can excel in building up your husband or wife today, especially if he or she is struggling with health or job issues or coping with pain. Proverbs 12:25 says, ‘An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.‘” – Joni Eareckson Tada

•  “Increase your sexual intimacy. Most men want more sexual intimacy, and most women want more emotional intimacy. Maybe if we looked at relationship more like a series of ‘trades’ this area might be better for all of us. Men tend to be more emotionally intimate and vulnerable around the times of sexual intimacy. Women tend to desire more sexual intimacy when they’ve been experiencing emotional intimacy.” – John Thurman

•  “The grass is not greener on the other side. Don’t believe the lie. Live the life you’ve been blessed with and be thankful. We all have struggles, but guard your heart from things and people that will try to convince you that your life or your spouse isn’t good enough. There will always be bigger, faster, or shinier, but you’ll never be satisfied with more until you’re fulfilled with what you have now.” –Karen Lodato (From the Growtrac.com article, “10 Marriage Tips Every Wife Needs to Hear”)

•  “No matter how much time stealing, time stretching, and time bending we attempt, we always find ourselves up against a certain mathematical law: 32 hours’ worth of tasks can’t be crammed into a 24-hour day. So, we’re busy. Nobody’s disputing that fact. The real question —the one upon which your marriage hinges —is ‘What are you busy at?'” (Les and Leslie Parrott) Is it REALLY that important? Eliminate that, which isn’t.

•  “Becoming one-flesh will not be automatic. Just because you said ‘I do’ it doesn’t mean you fully understand the ways of a wife or a husband. Both roles are learned. On the job. Sometimes it takes the same amount of time to unlearn a habit that it took to learn it. It took you years to perfect single living. It might take you some time to unlearn those ways and replace them with marriage-friendly ones.” –Ngina Otienda (From the Intentionaltoday.com article, “4 Things You Must Believe For Your Marriage to Flourish”)

•  “Romance is a state of mind. If you have the right mindset, you can make cleaning the bathroom together romantic; if you have the wrong mindset, you can turn a moonlit stroll on the beach into a fight.” (Gregory J.P. Godek) To the best of YOUR ability, look for ways to infuse fun into your marriage relationship, even when you’re tackling the ho-hum tasks you need to accomplish together.

•  “Celebrate the small, positive things in the relationship. Notice and comment on what’s going well. It’s not just that positive reinforcement is the best, fastest, most efficient way of changing someone else’s behavior,’ says Michele Weiner-Davis, ‘when partners feel valued, they are less inclined to jump to negative conclusions when something goes wrong.'”

•  Frustrated and/or angry? Here’s a prayer prompt to apply in your marriage: “Ask God to help you calm down and trust in Him to work in and through your life. Pray for kind words and clarity to speak well.” (Lori Byerly) “The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil (Proverbs 15:28). “A fool’s mouth is his undoing, and his lips are a snare to his soul(Proverbs 18:7).

•  Here’s a suggestion that may help you to connect, even in little ways, with your spouse… be intentional in making the time to do this: “You can call it your ‘check-in’ exercise. Each of you take turns, where you don’t interrupt each other, and share for about 5 minutes all the things that happened in your day. That way you’re up to date, and you feel as if your spouse does share your life.” –Sheila Wray Gregoire (From the Tolovehonorandvacuum.com article, “Stop Drifting Apart In Marriage)

•  “Don’t make assumptions. As author Miguel Angel Ruiz put it, ‘Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama.’ Nothing pushes us to grow quite like marriage when you look at it as an opportunity to learn about the person you love most, and yourself. Assume as little as possible…discover as much as possible.” -Fawn Weaver

•  Beware of “friending people who directly or indirectly threaten the marriage: The Facebook log in page says ‘Facebook helps you connect and share with the people in your life.’ This could be a good thing or a bad thing, and if they have a negative effect on a marriage, it’s even worse. These include, but are not limited to: exes, negative influences, flirts, wacky family members, and crude friends.” -Jason and Kelli Krafsky

•  Ask yourself, “Does my marriage qualify as a role model?” What can you begin doing to have it stand out in a way that would make others around you see your marriage and want to emulate it? Are you praying and thinking about ways you can do these things? The sooner we realize we’re called to be examples in our marriages, the sooner we’ll begin to follow God’s script and seeing our marriages grow in new ways. (Dr Norm H Wright as quoted in the book, “One Marriage Under God”)

•  “A strong marriage doesn’t always have 2 strong people at the same time. It’s a husband and wife who take turns being strong for each other in moments when the other feels week.” (Dr Laura) “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; when 1 falls down the other can help him up… Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.(Eccles. 4:9-12)

•  “It’s much easier to change a habit or behavior when you’re in a supportive, loving environment than when you’re continually having your shortcomings highlighted for you.” (Ken Blanchard) “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up…” (1 Thessalonians 5:11) “Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today,’ so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.(Hebrews 3:13)

•  “It’s a problem when we belittle our wife or husband for not understanding something that’s in our expertise. Maybe you have a good sense for directions, but your spouse doesn’t. Maybe you’re extremely discerning but can’t understand why they don’t pick up on cues that are obvious to you. Rather than harping on their inadequacies, help them, gently. Make your marriage an example of 2 minds coming together.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from The Love Dare)

•  “Support each other online, but don’t let it replace how you communicate. If you and your spouse gush about each other online, but barely have a conversation when you’re in the same room, make an effort to connect in real life. As Charles Orlando says, ‘People show their love in different ways. Some men talk, some men write. But never let anything substitute a real connection in your relationship.” -Dawn Papandrea (From Womansday.com article, “Don’t Let Facebook Hurt Your Marriage!”

•  “Laughter is a literal healing balm for your marriage. It has important physiological effects on you and your spouse. Of course, this isn’t news. Since at least King Solomon’s time, people have known and applied the healing benefits of humor. As Proverbs tells us, ‘A cheerful heart is good medicine”’ (17:22). So study your spouse’s funny bone and add more laughter into your relationship.” (Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott)

•  Philippians 2:3 tells us: “’Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.‘ I wish that were a complicated verse with multiple Hebrew variations. But when it comes to marriage, it’s pretty simple. Value others, in this case your spouse, above yourself.” (Andy Stanley)

•  “Whether you send an e-mail, tell your spouse in person, write a letter, talk over the phone, or write a quick note, remember that what you say today has the capacity to transform the countenance and the character of the most important person in your life.” – Joni Eareckson Tada

“God may be calling one of you into ministry or a career, and you may have the gifting, but unless you work together as a couple, you’re going to struggle. His call to you is not independent of your spouse. So if God is prompting one of you to move a certain direction, ask yourselves and Him, ‘How does this work for us together?’ Unless you’re on the same page, it may not be the right thing to do.” -Frank Pastore

•  “At Family Life Marriage Conferences, the speaker asks couples to say aloud, ‘You’re not my enemy.’ Later, the husbands and wives say to each other, ‘You are my friend.’ Do you consider your wife or husband a friend? If not, is it possible that the 2 of you are letting nit-picky issues rub away the good feelings in your relationship? Making adjustments isn’t easy, but the rewards are worth the effort.” -Dennis Rainey

•  “When we feel less connected to our spouse, it’s tempting to cultivate a closer connection with a friend or coworker to replace the closeness we should only share with our partner. Please be aware of this! Many spouses end up in emotional/physical affairs or unhealthy friendships because they’re lonely and feel disconnected to their spouse. We need to lean into our spouses during this time, more than any other.” (Ashley Willis, from the Patheos.com article, “5 Ways to Reconnect With Your Spouse”)

•  “Kindness and decency SHOULD begin at home. Why should we be kinder to strangers than we are to those we claim to love —particularly our spouse? “Like letting someone with only one item go ahead of you in the supermarket line, bring home to your spouse the same the decency and kindness you would show to someone you just met.” (Michele Weiner-Davis) “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted…(Ephesians 4:32)

•  In your marriage: “Strive for WOW…but don’t forget about the now. I don’t know if you’re guilty of this but sometimes when I’m working on surprising my husband with a ‘Wow,’ I forget the little things I should be doing now just to meet his expectations. Remember it’s consistency in the little things that will always matter most. The ABC’s of Marriage: Always Be Consistent.” –Fawn Weaver

•  It’s important to realize that if our spouse is a Christian, he is God’s son or she is God’s daughter. “We often hear pastors contemplate the fatherhood of God, a wonderful and true doctrine. But if you want to change your marriage, extend this analogy and spend some time thinking about God as your ‘Father-in-Law.’ Because when you marry a believer, that’s who He is!” – Gary Thomas

•  In your marriage: “Are you going your own way, making it look like its God’s way? Are you doing things God’s way, even if it doesn’t make sense to you?” (Ravi Zacharias) What would your marriage look like if you were more intentional about showing love by being kind –giving grace? “Love one another as I have loved you. By this all men will know you are my disciples, if you love one another. -Jesus (John 13:34-35)

•  “Like virtually anything else that’s important, non-random acts of kindness require focused, intentional discipline. Every day a couple can find literally dozens of occasions to send one or two messages: either ‘I value you, so I took a minute to take care of this for you’ or ‘Life is tough, kid! Fend for yourself because I’m too busy to be bothered!'” (Paul and Teri Reiser) Look for ways to bless your spouse.

•  “Make Valentine’s Day rock with some friendly advice… Keep it simple. If you want it done right, then ask each other what would help make the time fun. Take it easy with your expectations, be flexible with each other, and if something doesn’t go your way tonight… take a deep breath and remind yourself about all the great qualities of your special someone.” (Michael Smalley, from a February Smalley Institute email sent in 2014)

•  “Together. This is a word that describes what marriage is all about. We’re together through every situation—good or bad—that we’ll face in this life. And the only way it’s possible to stay together is through God’s grace. He is the One we celebrate most on Valentine’s Day [and beyond]. We love because He first loved us. He showed what laying your life down for another looks like, and what it requires.” -Debi Walter

•  “Open your heart and love will find its way in. Love will find its way in because God’s love is everywhere (see: Psalm 119:64). And God’s love will flow through your heart to your spouse’s when both are open. But a heart will only open up when the relationship feels safe. Therefore, make it your goal to create a marriage that feels like the safest place on earth.” –Dr Greg Smalley

•  HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! “Take the time to consider some of the many ways your spouse acts in love toward you every day, and use Valentine’s Day to express your appreciation —both by letting your spouse know that you notice what he or she does for you, and by making a concerted effort to bless your spouse through small yet meaningful acts of affection” …Every day find a way. (Whitney Hopler)

•  Take the time, MAKE the time to “stop to listen” to your spouse when he or she wants to talk to you. Make your spouse feel that he or she is more important to you than any other tasks you could be doing. “The next time your husband [or wife] speaks to you, stop what you’re doing, look up and give the attention that he [or she] deserves. -Lori Byerly. “The first duty of love is to listen.” -Paul Tillich (From The-generous-wife-.com blog, “Stop to Listen”)

•  Helpful Marriage Tip: “Make an agreement with your spouse not to accept invitations, decline opportunities or give an answer to anyone about almost anything, until you have talked about it and made a decision together. Whether it’s an invitation to the movies or a request to volunteer. This is a pro-active way to avoid disagreements, misunderstandings and resentment.” (Fawn Weaver)

•  “If marriage is like a house, then romance is the central air and heat. Think about it. A marriage can make it without romance, just as you can live in a house without central air and heat. It may be do-able, but it won’t be as enjoyable. When things get difficult, it’s nice to have a spouse plan something special to help you get your mind off the trouble at hand. Romance is NOT foreplay, but it can be.” -Debi Walter (From Theromanticvineyard.com article, “What’s the Romantic Temperature in Your Home?”)

•  “PRACTICE TOGETHERNESS [and be creative in doing so]: Never be too busy or disinterested and neglect doing things together. Activities such as driving one car, going shopping together, etc. help to strengthen the marital bond.” (Quote from: Our Father’s House) (From the womenofhiskingdomministries.com blog, “Are you in a Selfish Marriage?)

•  Here’s something to consider when dating your spouse (which sure seems like a good idea)… you DO date your spouse, don’t you? “Ron’s rules of dating: Don’t discuss issues, problems, children, or money. ‘Well what else is there?’ couples often retort. ‘That’s the point,” I reply. ‘None of those things brought you together when you were dating. Don’t let them spoil your connection time now!’” -Ron Deal (From Growthtrac.com article, “Adding Significance to Your Marriage”)

•  “The Lord intends for your Christian marriage to be a banquet: a lingering, sipping and savoring delight. If you need proof, read the Song of Solomon in the Bible. So my advice to you, and to myself, is to send the kidlets to grandma’s house, light some romantic candles, say your prayers and get cooking!” -Nancy Anderson (Growthtrac.com article, “Junk Food Marriages”)

•  “Maintain the ‘magic’ between you and your spouse. Keep saying ‘I love you.’ These 3 little words are very powerful! Few people, if any, tire of hearing that they’re loved. When you say ‘I love you’ do your best to be giving your spouse your full attention. Make sure you mean it when you say it!” -Jim Burns (From the Growthtrac.com article, “10 Tips for Treating Your Spouse Like Royalty”)

•  “It’s common for FB friends to whine about the weather, joke about a frustrating work issue or report on something new in their life. But avoid giving too much info about the annoying things your spouse is or isn’t doing, and be sure not to embarrass them in your status update, or thru posting pictures or videos. Don’t get back at your spouse for something through a public comment.” -Jason Krafsky

•  Do you save some of your best for your spouse? Here’s a great example to consider: “Years ago, when something exciting happened during the day, I’d share it with colleagues and friends. By the time I got home, I had little enthusiasm for sharing it with my wife. I purposely began keeping things to myself until I could share them with her 1st. That way she never got the leftovers.” (John Maxwell)

•  Beware when: “We care more about our children than about the one who helped us make them. Our kids should never be more important than our marriage and they should never be less important. If they’re more important, the little rascals will sense it and drive wedges. If they’re less important, they’ll act out until they’re given priority. Family is about the constant, ongoing work of finding the balance.” (Dr. Kelly Flanagan, from the Growthtrac.com article, “9 Marriage Troublemakers”)

•  “How does technology play into your private time with your spouse? Phones? Computers? TV? Do these add or detract from your time together? Like anything else, you need to make wise choices. Do you enjoy watching TV together on occasion or does it become a distraction? Give thought to these items and make sure they’re a plus not a minus.” -Lori Byerly “Technology is a useful servant but a dangerous master.” (Christian Louis Lange)

•  “Routine gives structure and stability to your life, but, if that’s all you have, it can get boring. In your marriage, you need to add a little interest by doing something new now and then. Make simple, doable changes in things you already do. You could try a new recipe, a new TV series, a new position in the bedroom, or a new blend of coffee, etc. Look for little ways to shake things up with something new.” -Lori Byerly

•  “Nothing speaks louder to our culture about Christianity than our marriage relationships. Marriage is not just love on display; it’s also faith on display. And that’s why we need to equip and encourage each other to stay in love.” (Andy Stanley) “Walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.(Ephesians 5:2)

•  “Dealing with clutter can improve your marriage–quickly. By eliminating clutter in areas where you and your spouse connect (living room, kitchen, bedroom) you immediately lower your stress level, which can do nothing but make your marriage a better place to be. Clutter is a liar. It makes you feel distracted and out of control. But once you know the truth about clutter you can fight back and regain your life.” (Sheila Wray Gregoire, in the Tolovehonorandvacuum.com article, “Top 10 Truths About Clutter)

•  “Look for reasons to express your gratitude towards your spouse. Write it down daily, because gratitude is a matter of practice. Say it out loud, too, with words like thank you, I appreciate that, I’m so grateful when you do that! You just might re-discover more to love about your other half, improve your marriage, be happier, and give the most amazing gift to your [spouse] and yourself!” –Kim Hall from Happy Wives Club (From article: “One Simple Idea That Makes Every Marriage Better”)

•  “There’s a right way and wrong way to take criticism. The WRONG way is to scream or attack your spouse; that’s definitely not the right way. If your 1st instinct is to lash out, either verbally or physically, you need to take a second to calm yourself before anything else happens. Something as simple as counting to 3 in your head is a good way to calm yourself down and take control of your emotions.” -Elizabeth Davis

•  “If we’re in a marital slump, we need to change our routine. Try something new together! If you don’t currently enjoy a date night together, start dating again. Take turns planning the date nights. Be silly. Go dancing. Do that ‘thing’ you’ve always wanted to try together but never had the time to do. It’ll take sacrificing something, but we have to be willing to change things up to climb out of a slump.” (Ashley Willis, from the Patheos.com article, “5 Ways to Reconnect With Your Spouse”)

•  “Be (or become) more affectionate – Hug, kiss, cuddle before you go to bed. Hugs and kisses of 20 seconds or more have been shown to decrease blood pressure, heart rate, and stress. Science reports that the primary benefit is due to he release of oxytocin, the body’s natural relaxation hormone.” – John Thurman

•  “Picture bringing Jesus into your home to live with you. He’ll be more than a houseguest; he’ll become a permanent addition to your marriage —the 3rd member of your relationship. When Jesus is involved, 3 isn’t a crowd. 3 is just right! And when you have Jesus Christ with you, you also have God the Father and the Holy Spirit. It’s a package deal! God is waiting for you to invite Him into your home.” -David Clarke

•  “Make it clear to your spouse and the world that your priority is your marriage. Asking a question like ‘Will this nurture and develop my relationship or take me away from it?’ or ‘Is this aligned with my priorities?’ before you make a decision gives you the opportunity to step back and make sure you’re moving in the direction you want to go before you make a commitment that can hurt your relationship.” (Fawn Weaver)

•  “Know that there is an adversary; it’s just not your mate. Scripture describes this adversary as a lion waiting to devour. That’s who our true enemy is, not each other. Remember that you’re on the same team. If you look for evidence that your spouse is your enemy, you’ll find it. However, if you want to see your marriage as a team, then look for evidence that it could be & don’t minimize what you find.” -Brett Sparks

•  “We must remove anything that perpetrates loneliness in marriage. Do we spend more time with friends than our spouse? We need to spend less time with friends, and invest in our friendship with our spouse, connect throughout the day. This can be as simple as a text saying, ‘I love you. I hope you’re having a great day’ or a quick phone call, letting our partner know they’re a priority, not an afterthought.” (Ashley Willis, gleaned from the Patheos.com article, “The Big Lie that Leads to a Lonely Marriage”)

•  During times of conflict with your spouse, “pause before responding. We’ve all said something hurtful during conflict that we regretted. Develop the habit of pausing during tough conversations and choosing your words carefully. Always ask yourself, ‘Is what I’m about to say really the response I should give?'” – Mike Bechtle (From Growthtrac.com article, “Your Best Year of Marriage”)

•  Having a great year of marriage won’t happen by accident. “It happens by intention. Whether your marriage is solid or shaky, make the investment. You can’t always guarantee what the return on that investment will be. But there’s one thing you can be sure of: If you don’t invest, there’ll be no return. Start investing intentionally. Start today. It’s your best chance for the best year of marriage ever!” -Mike Bechtle (From the Growthtrac.com article, “Your Best Year of Marriage”)

•  “Respect has no gender. Husbands, wives —the key to this trait among happy marriages is a word that goes in front of respect: Mutual. Respect swings both ways. Your spouse gave up their most prized possession —their life —and placed it in your hands the day they said, ‘Til’ death do us part.’ There are few phrases more powerful than that, and the person who said them to you deserves your honor and respect.” -Fawn Weaver

•  “Seeing our spouse as God’s son or as His daughter helps us to love them despite their imperfections. I know my kids aren’t perfect, but I still want them to be loved.” (Gary Thomas) “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. (John 13:34-35)

•  “Treat your spouse better than anyone else in your life. ‘Familiarity breeds contempt.’ It’s a cliché, but tends to be true. Keep pursuing your spouse the way you did when you were first dating, and never lose the sense of wonder.” – Mike Bechtle (Quote from Growthtrac.com article, “Your Best Year of Marriage”)

•  “You’d be amazed at how many people are disappointed by their spouses every day. Most of these disappointments could be avoided if their spouse knew their expectations. The wisest people ask the most questions. Be as inquisitive as a child when it comes to your spouse. Keep asking questions until you fully know their expectation of you, and once you know that, you can knock that ball out of the park.” (Keith Weaver)

•  “Marriage is a complex and important relationship that encompasses every area of life. Yet, despite this fact, most couples get married with little or no preparation, and continue on that way. They give their marriage far less preparation than they would give any other life-changing event. Most married people spend more hours on computer training than they do on developing their marriage skills.” (Jimmy Evans)

•  Carve out marital together time. “Make this time sacred. People and activities will try to take back the hours you set aside to be together but it’s worth the fight. During those times, practice being fully present with each other. Turn off cell phones, unplug computers and talk face-to-face. If you’re distracted by a to-do list, make a note of it and set it aside for later. Protect and guard your time to be together.” (Margaret Feinberg, from the Growthtrac.com article, “Dealing With Disconnect”)

•  “Learn your spouse’s ‘love language.’ One language is telling our spouse we love them. Another is showing them we love them by doing some special thing for them. Or we may to want to hug and hold hands and be close. We all probably like to be told and shown in different ways at different times. Which means the most to your spouse? You may want to ask.” (Thomas R. Lee, Ph.D.)

•  “Timing is everything and today may not be the right time to say what is on your mind. You may not be in the right frame of mind to convey your feelings properly; out of love, from a place of vulnerability rather than aggression. But just because today may not be the best day, don’t keep from sharing your heart soon. It’s the only way your spouse will know how to give you what it is your heart desires.” –Fawn Weaver

•  Here’s a marriage tip that’s a GREAT habit to practice: “Kiss. Every day. It’s not ‘kiss when you go on date’ or ‘kiss when the kids aren’t around,’ it’s ‘Kiss. Every day.’ Marriage researcher John Gottman recommends a 6-second kiss every day. It should be long enough to feel romantic and will be like a love vitamin —nurturing connection and intimacy in your marriage.” (Fawn Weaver -Happy Wives Club)

•  “When things get tough, don’t quit. A good friend told me, ‘When you’re in the middle of a pile of manure, you feel like giving up and going back. But it’s the same distance to get out if you move forward.’” (Mike Bechtle) “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9) (Quote from Growthtrac.com article, “Your Best Year of Marriage”)

•  “Give the gift of understanding. When your spouse is upset listen and offer support. As Stephen Covey says, ‘Seek first to understand, then to be understood.’ Listen with full attention; Acknowledge your spouse’s feelings; Check out your understanding, ‘You’re feeling upset because …is that right?’ -Say something to show understanding. ‘I didn’t know that’s how you felt…’ or ‘That must have been awful.'” (Thomas R. Lee, Ph.D.)

•  When you marry each other, “what you’re actually saying ‘I do’ to is hard work! ‘The marriage ceremony isn’t like graduation; rather, it’s similar to the first day of kindergarten! It’s not the culmination, but the beginning.’ We need to start treating it that way.” (Cindy Sigler Dagnan) When you say “I do” on your wedding day, it’s important to become students of marriage and of each other, as God would have you. (From the Growthtrac.com article, “Sweeten Your Love Life”)

•  “It’s hard to say ‘no’ to a crying baby, but as your children get older, don’t be afraid to tell them, ‘It’s Mommy and Daddy time right now.’ It’s also important to set boundaries for yourselves. It’s too easy to give our best time and energy away to everyone and everything else, other than our spouse. Let the dishes sit in the sink for a few minutes and carve out some precious time to reconnect with one another.” (Glenn and Christie Hoos, from the Growthtrac.com article, “Surviving the Diaper Phase”)

•  “If you’re new to marriage, seek out the wisdom of those with years of joyful experience under their belt. And if you, by God’s grace, have found something that works well for your marriage, take a young couple to lunch. You never know where a little bit of advice about marriage you plant may blossom into marriage—saving hope and guidance for that couple.” (Bill and Pam Farrell)

•  “If you feel 1-sided in your marriage and if you’ve been unsuccessful in bringing about change, it’s natural to lose the will. Have you prayed for God to give you the will? Christianity isn’t based solely on a bunch of beliefs; its heart and soul is based on a powerful, active God who can lift us above our limitations. God becomes the 3rd partner, the uniting presence. Let’s tap into this divine resource.” –Gary Thomas (Gleaned from the Tolovehonorandvacuum.com article, “Gary Thomas Answers Your Marriage Questions”)

•  Don’t fall into the trap of taking your spouse for granted. Make it a point to “express gratitude. Everyday. Expressing gratitude feels good to YOU because you’re looking for the positive things to celebrate and acknowledge in every day. It feels good to your SPOUSE because he [or she] in turn, feels celebrated and acknowledged.” (Fawn Weaver –Happy Wives Club)

•  “Miscommunication can contribute to a sense of disconnectedness between you. You’ll find that your spouse will say one thing and you’ll hear something completely different. When you’re in a time of disconnectedness, go out of your way to REALLY LISTEN to your spouse. Be sensitive of your location to them when you’re talking. Repeat things back to them, if necessary, to make sure your understanding is complete.” (Margaret Feinberg, from the Growthtrac.com article, “Dealing With Disconnect”)

•  “Is being married supposed to make you happy? No. Marriage doesn’t make you happy —you make your marriage happy! As the saying goes, you bring your own weather to the picnic. A happy marriage doesn’t depend on the right circumstances or the perfect person. A happy marriage is the result of two people committed to making a happy life of love together.” Drs Les and Leslie Parrott

•  “A woman may say, ‘I don’t want to have sex,’ but her husband hears, ‘I don’t want to have sex with you.’ Saying, ‘Not now’ instead of, ‘No” lets a husband grasp it will happen, just not at that moment. But be sure to make time for intimacy within the next 24-48 hours or hubby will start to believe that ‘not now’ is the same as ‘no.'” (Shay and Robert Roop) The same goes if it’s the husband who is saying “no.” (From the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Our Best Sex Advice”)

•  “Forgive and move on. Not one of us is perfect. Not you, not me. We all make mistakes. Your spouse is going to continue falling short in some areas, as will you. But the faster you can get to forgiving and return to focusing on what they do right, the sooner you’ll get your marriage to where you desire it to be, and the sooner your heart will be free to receive the things it truly desires.” -Fawn Weaver (Happy Wives Club)

•  As it pertains to marriage, look at your friends: “Is your peer pressure positive or negative? Are your friends moving you towards being loving, generous, and giving, or are they pushing you towards being selfish, stingy, and lazy? …On the other side, what kind of peer pressure are you putting on others? Make a commitment to providing positive influences, including for marriage and sexuality.” –Paul Byerly (Gleaned from the-generous-husband.com article, “Is Your Peer Pressure Positive or Negative?”)

•  “You can give undeserved love to your spouse because God gives undeserved love to you. Repeatedly, enduringly. Ask God to fill you with the kind of love only He can provide, then give it to your spouse in a way that reflects your gratefulness to God for loving you. That’s the beauty of Christ’s redeeming love.” (Kendrick) “May the Lord direct your hearts to God’s love and Christ’s endurance.-2 Thessalonians 3:5

•  It’s suggested “couples take 1 hour on their anniversary each year to dream together. According to this marriage expert, even 1 hour increases marital longevity and happiness. Dreaming together deepens the spirit of partnership. Wherever the winds may blow you, you remember you’re on the same ship. Dreaming together deepens the spirit of partnership.” –Renée S. Sanford (Todayschristianwoman.com article, “A Team of Two”)

•  “Ask yourself if you’d treat a friend the way you sometimes treat your spouse. Would you criticize or put him or her down? Sometimes if we treated our friends the way we treat our spouse, we wouldn’t have many friends. Work to make him or her happy rather than better. Nurture that friendship. You know yourself and your spouse best, so think of ways you can strengthen your friendship and your marriage.” –Dr Thomas R. Lee

•  “Don’t keep secrets from your spouse. In marriage, secrets are as dangerous as lies. Your spouse should have a ‘master key’ to every part of your life. Never have a conversation you wouldn’t want them to hear, view a website you wouldn’t want them to see or go someplace you wouldn’t want them to know about. Complete transparency is vital to building complete trust.” –Dave Willis

•  “Have tech-free times, say between 8:00 and 10:00 p.m. or a tech free day at least once a week. When you do this, you may discover that treating your partner like a living, breathing, warm person could be more rewarding than a Facebook™ friend.” – John Thurman

•  “Every positive thing you do in your marriage is foreplay” (John Gottman) “I love this quote because it’s true and if it’s true, what does the opposite mean? We shouldn’t do positive things JUST to get what we want, but being aware of the benefits is a good thing. So…Loading the dishwasher? Foreplay. Spending 10 minutes together? Foreplay. Building up your spouse when talking to others? Foreplay… Get the idea?” (Jennifer Marion)

•  “Often we think true romance must be spontaneous. That may have worked when it was just the 2 of you [without as many responsibilities], but things change. Don’t sit around waiting for a free moment—it’ll probably never come. Make your relationship with your spouse a priority and build it into your schedule. Find a regular babysitter so your minds are at ease, plan a regular date night and guard it zealously.” (Glenn and Christie Hoos, from the Growthtrac.com article, “Surviving the Diaper Phase”)

•  Here’s an inspiration to get over any shyness you may have, or neglect of praying for your spouse: “When Ron prays for me, I feel as if I’m covered by a velvety blanket of protection. Even though I still face problems, his prayers shelter me from the sharpness of the pain. He is strengthened by my prayers too and we both agree that we’re less likely to fight if we’re consistently praying together.” –Nancy Anderson (Growthtrac.com article, “Junk Food Marriages”)

•  “Don’t compare your spouse with others. Your neighbor’s grass always looks greener when you’re viewing it from your yard, because you only see the green blade tips. All you see looking down on your lawn are the bare spots and the weeds. There are a lot of nice lawns out there, but there’s only one that belongs to you. Take care of it, so it can flourish.” – Mike Bechtle (Quote from Growthtrac.com article, “Your Best Year of Marriage”)

•  With your spouse, beware of trying to “sort out conflicts when he/she (or you) are tired, stressed, or hungry. Give him/her, or yourself a little time to unwind and get into a fresher frame of mind. Talk things out after dinner [or at a less stressful time]. That way you make some real progress without juggling additional avoidable burdens.” -Ngina Otiende (gleaned from the Intentionaltoday.com article, “Are You Making These 5 Communication Mistakes in Your Marriage?”)

•  Don’t call your spouse demeaning names. The Bible says, “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Prov. 12:18). When you call your spouse names, does that bring healing or do your words pierce? Even if your spouse says words he/she shouldn’t, does that justify your stooping as low? “Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips(Prov. 4:24).

•  “Watching TV snuggled up on the couch is comforting sometimes. But if all your couple time includes a third party—the remote—then it’s time to reinvent your relationship. Take a walk and chat. Go to a coffeehouse and listen to some music. Bake cookies. Paint a room. Whatever it is, do it together.” (Christy Scannell) Make it a point to spend quality time together.

•  Are you finding it difficult to spend any time alone with your spouse before your kids go to sleep (and so do you)? “Buy yourself an extra half-hour in the evenings. How? Put kids to bed early with a book and a flashlight. They’ll think it’s a treat to read in bed —it’s kind of like they’re getting away with something —and you can start some early couch-cuddling before you turn into a pumpkin.” –Elizabeth L. Thompson (Gleaned from the Tolovehonorandvacuum.com article, “What My Two Year Old Taught Me About Marriage”)

“After you’ve had a scrumptious meal in a restaurant, it’s customary to say, ‘My compliments to the chef.’ However, we often forget to send our compliments to the spouse who washed the socks or to the spouse who mowed the lawn. Slow down and appreciate each other.” Also, don’t forgot (from 1 Corinthians 13) that ‘Love doesn’t keep score of the sins of others… and love always looks for the best.’” –Nancy Anderson (Growthtrac.com article, “Junk Food Marriages”)

•  “If you and your spouse work to become a student of each other and value each other’s differences, God will begin doing an amazing work in you and your marriage. After all, He wants to do ‘exceedingly abundantly above all we ask or think, according to the power that works within us‘” (as told to us in Ephesians 3:20) – Dewey Wilson

•  “A good marriage is something you create every day. Marriage will not erase your debt, make your cranky family member nicer, or get you a raise. Things most often work out because we work at them.” – Maggie Reyes

•  “Marriage can be a bit like wearing a portable heart monitor. The relationship comes with a built-in feedback system, and that’s good. Why? Our partner helps us see things about ourselves, which we may not see otherwise, and that can be soothing. How? Self-awareness diminishes the time you spend stewing over stressful emotions. When you accurately identify how you feel you recover from distress quicker.” – Les and Leslie Parrott

•  “In marital relationships, spouses “get their feelings hurt. Add to that misunderstandings and emotions can get raw. But grace allows us to keep loving each other, giving the best of ourselves, working so that we grow together. Hebrews 12:15 says, ‘See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God; that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble.‘” So, give grace to your spouse, whenever possible. –Sabrina MacDonald (From the Growthtrac.com article, “Learning to Speak Marriage Again”)

•  “Prioritize your marriage. It’s easy with any child to overlook the needs of your adult relationships, and sometimes children with special needs require even more attention than typical kids. Still, it will serve all your children better if you continue to connect with each other on a regular basis.” -Amy Julia Becker

•  “Checkpoints that allow me to watch out for trouble in my marriage? When I haven’t said ‘I love you’ in days —when I’ve missed more than a few meals with my sweetie —when I look for excuses to say no to sex —when I’m more interested in Facebook than him. Sometimes it’s about busyness. The occasional season of this is OK, but if it’s a drift thing, changes need to be made to reconnect.” Is your marriage ok? (Lori Byerly)

•  “The moment your spouse feels understood, they become more motivated to understand your point of view.” (Drs Les and Leslie Parrott) “He who answers before listening —that is his folly and his shame.” (Proverbs 18:13) “The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of the wise seek it out.” (Proverbs 18:15) “Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.(Proverbs 19:20)

•  “Allow forgiveness to become a vital part of your relationship. In a Christ-centered marriage, forgiving and being forgiven are essential—and often a daily experience, because it’s not always about the big stuff. It’s the he-didn’t-take-out-the-trash-again kind of thing. Or the she-didn’t-say-hello-when-I-walked-in-the-door. Small things build over time, and if not taken care of, can lead to the big stuff.” (Gary and Carrie Oliver, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “The 3 Most Important Choices”)

•  Be careful of how you speak to your spouse. “‘The human tongue is full of death-bringing poison,‘ (James 3:8). Verbal toxicity is often dispensed in subtle forms. We sometimes camouflage our criticism in humor and wriggle out of cruel statements saying ‘I was only joking.’ Or we shoot poison darts with ‘helpful’ advice meant as artful put downs. Regardless of its form, criticism poisons the human spirit.” Les and Leslie Parrott

•  “When you’re apart, dwell on the positive, and fill your mind with positive thoughts about your partner. These thoughts will intensify your feelings of love. Your heart and mind will open up. You’ll get excited about seeing your spouse [when you CAN be together]. Back when you were dating, you thought about each other all the time, didn’t you? Get back to doing this! It will reenergize your love.” –Dr David Clarke

•  “Do Not Compare —The green eyed monster is just that, a monster. Don’t let bad feelings creep up in your relationship. It’s a poison that will kill any relationship. People are different and unique, so relationships vary for each and everyone. Work on yours and lock out resentments that may cause your marriage to crumble.” -Jamrie “Love is patient and kind; it does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant.” (1 Corinthians 13:4) (Quote is from the Jamrie.com article, “Keep the Glow Going in Your Marriage”)

•  “In order to be sexually mature, you need to be SPIRITUALLY mature. The pattern for a marriage striving for both spiritual and sexual maturity is to live not only under a mutual moral obligation of faithfulness, but also under a mutual moral obligation for both the husband and the wife to give their bodies to each other in willing anticipation of sexual relations over their entire lifetime together.” -Harry Schaumburg

•  “Researchers who have searched for the difference between happy marriages and troubled ones have come up with all kinds of correlates to marital success (long courtships, similar backgrounds, supportive families, good communication, well educated, and so on). But the bottom line is that happy couples decide to be happy. In spite of whatever life deals them, they MAKE HAPPINESS A HABIT.” -Drs Les and Leslie Parrott

•  “Marriage is not, mainly, about prospering economically. It’s mainly about displaying the covenant-keeping love of Christ and his church. Knowing Christ is more important than making a living, or bearing children. If we make marriage what God designed it to be, nothing can stand in our way. This covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church shines brightest when nothing but Christ can sustain it.” -John Piper (Gleaned from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “When Love Didn’t Give Up” written by Margot Starbuck)

•  “Happy couples say they never want to make their partner feel insecure about their love. They never behave in any way to give their loved one reason to doubt their loyalty. Being faithful is an attitude as much as an action. Staying faithful is a way of saying, ‘I love you, and I will stay away from any temptation that might come my way.’” Lilo and Gerard Leeds

•  “If you find yourself on a speck hunt in your marriage (see: Matthew 7:3-5), it’s probably because your suspicions are misdirected and you’re inspecting the wrong spouse.” (Dave Harvey) “My spouse’s ‘speck’ is not my business, but MY speck or ‘plank’ definitely IS! ‘Speck-hunting’ blocks our view of our sins and mistakes.” (Beth Steffaniak of Messymarriage.com)

•  “Don’t do the things that drive your spouse crazy. You know what your partner likes and dislikes, and what the ‘hot buttons’ are. All of us have issues that may or may not be rational, but drive us up the wall. Perhaps you know that being late makes your partner see red, or drinking juice straight from the container drives your mate crazy. Don’t push those buttons.” -Lilo and Gerard Leeds

•  “The challenges that parenting poses within marriage are inevitable. But letting those challenges become relationship-busting sources of tension, resentment, or unresolved conflict? That’s not inevitable. Rather than letting parenting-related marriage tension erode away at your relationship, take steps to shore up your relationship. Know your (physical) limits, review your common ground, and prioritize fun.” (Kelli B. Trujillo, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Parenting and the Marriage Mess”)

•  “Fall in love over and over again. You constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married and in 5 years you won’t be the same person you are today. You have to re-choose each other everyday. If you don’t take care of your spouse’s heart, he/she may give it to someone else or seal you out completely. Always fight to win your spouse’s love just as you did when you were courting.” -Gerald Rogers

•  “Provide genuine, meaningful affirmations regularly. ‘Gee, your hair smells terrific’ may be appropriate, but affirmations like ‘You do so much to keep our family working. I can never thank you enough for all you do’ are powerful and meaningful for making your spouse feel special. Affirmations come in all shapes and sizes: from verbal affirmations given in-person, to voicemail or e-mail messages to notes and cards.” (Jim Burns, from the Growthtrac.com article, “10 Tips for Treating Your Spouse Like Royalty”)

•  “Pray TOGETHER. Take your wife’s or husband’s hand and say, ‘Honey, let’s pray about…’ And then PRAY! Don’t hog the prayer; pray a few sentences and then let your spouse pray too. It doesn’t take long, ‘church-y’ prayers. It simply takes you and your spouse being honest with God. Not only will this connect you more closely with your spouse, it will connect both of you more closely with God.” -Harold Gillogly

•  Within your marriage: “Don’t make room for selfishness, you’re in it together and giving back is what’s it’s all about. If one is having a bad day, a favorite dish can make up for that or even a simple hug can put a cork on it. Your hand on his or hers can go a long way.” (Jamrie) God tells us (in 1 Corinthians 13:5) that love “is not self-seeking.” Show love to your spouse, as God would have you. (From the Jamrie.com article, “Keep the Glow Going in Your Marriage”)

•  “Wives: your husband uses sex in order to connect emotionally. When you respond or initiate sex it makes him feel respected and valued. See his request for sex as a request for connection and intimacy. Husbands: understand that your wife needs to be engaged emotionally before she’ll respond sexually. She needs to be romanced and cherished. See her request to connect 1st by talking and sharing as ‘foreplay.'” (Greg and Erin Smalley) 

•  “When we follow our feelings into marriage, we can also follow our feelings right out of marriage. As quickly as you fall in love, you can fall out of love. Because feelings come and go, those who build the foundation of their marriage on how they feel will certainly find their marriage crumbling. Feelings are fickle, but faith is not. It’s easy to follow our hearts, but it takes courage to LEAD our hearts.” (Debra Fileta)

•  “Fun in marriage keeps a marriage from going stale. It keeps couples connected in a positive ways. Fun is isn’t something you merely tack on to your relationship as an extra; it’s integral to the health of your marriage. Fun is more than the icing on the cake; it’s a vital ingredient in the cake itself.” (Steve Arterburn) Make the effort and find the time somehow, to infuse fun and humor into your marriage.

•  If you’re encountering disappointment in your marriage: “Instead of aiming for an A+ marriage, aim for A+ moments. Learn to appreciate a wonderful evening together, a good talk while walking in the park, a shared prayer or a hilarious movie. Every marriage needs a good dose of A+ moments but when we expect those times to be all the time, we set ourselves up for chronic disappointment.” -Leslie Vernick

•  Start your day by praying for your spouse, before you even get out of bed. “Simply wake up and ask yourself, ‘How can I bless my husband [wife] this morning?’ Before he [she] comes home from work, ask yourself, ‘How can I bless my husband [or wife] this evening?’ For me, I’ve had to mentally remind myself of this question over and over until it becomes second nature. It’s a choice to think this way.” -Gary Thomas (Gleaned from the Tolovehonorandvacuum.com article, “Gary Thomas Answers Your Marriage Questions”)

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