Have you ever sat in a restaurant and noticed a young couple sitting together talking, and talking, and talking? And then have you noticed that you and your spouse have little to talk about other than what is going on with the children?
Do you need a “jump-start” as to some things you can discuss together that doesn’t involve the children or problems? Would you like some things to discuss so you feel more connected? Maybe you’re looking for something to discuss on a “Date Night” you may have together. Or perhaps during a “22 Minute” time you spend together you just can’t come up with fun questions on your own.
There are different communication starter resources out there that can help you. Below you will find a few of them. Actually my husband Steve and I have used some of these tools. We agree that some of our nicest conversations have been when we’ve used these types of tools. Not all of us are as creative in thinking about things to talk about (other than talking about the children and work and problems).
So, with that said, we want to provide a link to articles that will help you with conversation starters. You won’t (and shouldn’t) try to ask all of the questions at one sitting. That is, unless you want to have a marathon talking time together (which most couples wouldn’t enjoy). You can make a time to be together and agree to ask a set number of questions to each other and save the rest for other times.
And NO arguing! Don’t let this be a contentious time. If you need to have a more serious conversation at some point, don’t let it happen now. This time is supposed to connect you—not spiral into an argument. So keep it light!
This is NOT a Test
And don’t think about them as “questions” as if you were taking a test or something. Think of them as a discovery and connection time together. Even if you’ve been married more than 40 years, you’ll find out some new things about each other.
So, below you will find several web site links to a number list of questions. You may even want to make a copy of them so you can have them for the next several times you spend this kind of time together:
— ALSO —
Debi Walter, from The Romantic Vineyard web site came up with some fun questions to ask each other. How about asking “What’s your favorite…?” She gives a list of 25 “favorite things” that you can both share with each other. Just go back and forth telling your favorites. Here’s the link:
Paul Byerly, from the web site The-generous-husband.com discovered a list of questions, which could also bring you closer together in your relationship. To read the articles and then the questions, the following is a link, which will lead you to them:
And then here are 50 additional questions, written by Pastor Zach Terry and his wife Julie, which you may find fun to ask each other at a time you want to find out even a little bit more about each other. Some of your answers may come as a surprise, which can be a good thing :)
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions wrote this blog.
If you have additional tips to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
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Filed under: Communication Tools