Give It Over to God Today – Marriage Message #91

Pixabay prayer-1308663_640Are you feeling defeated in your life and your marriage? Give it to God today? Does it look impossible? We encourage you to read the following true testimony, which was sent to us from a friend of the Marriage Missions ministry.

She wrote:

“One year ago, my husband was off to rehab, my future was bleak, and my kids were stuck in the middle of a torn home. My home was about to be taken by foreclosure. I could not afford to pay it for a whole year. My next day was uncertain and not promised to me.

“In all my efforts I failed. Everything that I thought I could do, I failed. I was not as in control as I thought I was. My TV sold for drugs, and my van was pimped out for more drugs. A guitar that was meaningful to my husband and his father was pawned for even more drug money. My job was really meaningless to what God called me to do, other than the fact that I got to witness to others. I felt unappreciated and not cared for. I felt like I was in the middle of a hurricane watching my life just being ripped from me.

“God was the still small voice inside of me releasing peace into me. He gave me Romans 15:13 May the God of your hope so fill you with all joy and peace in believing [through the experience of your faith] that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound and be overflowing (bubbling over) with hope (Amplified Bible).

Hope?

“I answered him with, ‘Hope what was that?’ Darkness filled my life yet once again. How could I have Hope to go through this again? This was like the seventh time. I was answered by Matthew 18:21, Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. OK, but I am a righteous person.

“I was and am redeemed through Christ, a child of a King —the King of Kings. Why could this not be held from me? I was scared to death of what could happen at every moment. I was trying not to walk in fear. God then gave me 2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

“So, I refused to accept my life this way. I refused to accept my husband being beaten by this. As well, I refused to accept that my home, my marriage, my family could be taken. I refused to think that God gave up on me. He then gave me Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

Fighting the Darkness

“So how do I fight against darkness? How do I fight against something that I can’t see or really understand? Through Ephesians 6:10-18 God told me:

“‘Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground. And after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

“That’s how. Then he gave me Philippians 4:13 ‘I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me. And he gave me power!’ Luke 10:19 I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.

Our Amazing God

God is so amazing! He has done it all! Why should I feel sorry for myself? Why should I let the devil have the victory?

“My husband is home now. God restored my marriage, and it’s better than I asked for. I’m not saying we won’t have trials, but we’re both looking to God and that makes a big difference! My children are reaping the benefits of my hubby being back. He’s stepped into the role of being a great father and man of God. Oh, also God had the mortgage company send me a modification (that I didn’t request) with a lower interest rate than we had before. SO I got to keep my home!

“My future is only looking brighter from here. I have been able to get out of a dead end job and go back to school and also volunteer at something that I am passionate about doing. Take that Devil! You can’t have US! We are children of GOD!”

Believing God

Does this encourage you? We hope so. We also hope it encourages you to pray, believing God for the “impossible.” I’m reminded of something I learned from the Beth Moore Bible study of the book of Esther. Even though this study is directed toward women, it applies to everyone. It emphasizes the point on how we sometimes give up trusting God when things get tough (which often happen in marriages).

She wrote:

“Once we are in Christ, Satan has no authority to destroy us. So he settles for the next best thing: THREATENING to destroy us. Based on our histories and behaviors he deduces what we are most convinced would raze us. To the Devil, the irony is delicious. Our distrust of God tattles on us, telling our enemy exactly how to get to us. Many of us habitually rehearse, ‘If ___ ever happens, then I’ll just ___.’

“Our fears become like long, bony index fingers pointing at our vulnerabilities. Once Satan sees what we believe would be the end of us, he threatens and torments us with it.

“Our natural human defense is to grovel before God. We plead with Him not to let those things happen. Our conditional trust makes us an open target for enemy torment. It also positions us as negotiators and beggars before God instead of secure children who trust their lives to their faithful Father. Those times when our fears become reality we feel devastated. We think God is unfaithful, and Satan essentially gets what he wants. That is for us to believe that life is over. Unless our belief system changes, for all practical earthly purposes, it is. After all, as a man thinks, so is he (Proverbs 23:7).

Praying For Our Desires

“Don’t misunderstand. I’m a huge proponent of praying AGAINST what we fear and FOR the desires of our hearts. I also believe we’re free and safe to voice our worst nightmares to God. In times of crisis and demonic attack however, our vulnerable souls need something more. The most critical breakthrough of faith you and I could ever experience is to let God bring us to a place where we trust Him —period. We don’t just trust Him to let us avoid what we fear most. We determine to trust Him no matter what, even if our worst nightmare befalls us. As a result, we have no greater victory and can render Satan no harsher blow.”

Prayers Unanswered?

Why are we sharing these thoughts? It’s because over and over again, we receive emails and see comments posted on our web site from those who think God has abandoned them. They feel their prayers aren’t being answered in the timing and the way they were sure it should be done.

But as Pastor Jim Pace challenges us to consider:

“If God were to do what I asked him to do, which is stop this, and then if he did what other people that are hurt asked him to do, which is stop the next thing and the next thing, where does God stop stopping? Is there any pain that is acceptable? Is there a point where we would say, ‘Yes, you can let this through?’

And I don’t say that to minimize the suffering families went through. I can’t imagine… I am getting choked up now. But the issue that God must deal with, that he has to, is where the end of the list is of what he allows. And if he doesn’t allow any suffering, then what are we left with? (Crosswalk.com article, “Should We Fire God?”)

Dealing with Difficult Issues

It’s not that we don’t understand why those who question God have a difficult time hanging on or understanding why God doesn’t do things differently. We’ve been there ourselves, over many very difficult issues. But couldn’t most of this be happening because we live in a fallen world? Could it be because God allows us to have a free will? Even with freedom, there are consequences to be paid.

Sometimes a spouse freely chooses to do wrong.  Tragically the other spouse and children suffer as a result. But it’s not God’s way to take over his or her mind, MAKING him or her do what is right. We have to allow God to be God. We cannot box Him into our timing and ways of doing things. That’s what it is to “live by faith.” We have to trust, and keep trusting, looking for the redemption God will eventually bring in some way.

Deborah McCarragher talks about this in her book “Mission Possible.” It is written for wives whose husbands are not yet followers of Christ. (You can find more information about this book in our “Unbelieving Spouse” web site links topic.) What she writes can apply to anyone struggling in this situation.

She says:

“There are times when you might question God’s timing. Don’t beat yourself up by asking why your prayers haven’t been answered yet. Don’t let the terrible trio of FEAR, DOUBT, and UNBELIEF do a number on you. The enemy loves to torture you with those, so don’t be double minded (James 1:8). Take authority and just believe. Try not to analyze why your spouse won’t ‘take hold of the cross.’ We are not the Holy Spirit. Only God searches the heart and tests the mind (Jeremiah 17:10). God knows the perfect timing and plans He has for your husband. “’For I know the plans I have for you’, says the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11). Give it over to God today!”

And we hope you will. We pray that whatever you are trusting God for in your marriage, you will not lose hope. For: We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters in the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf… (Hebrews 6:19-20). Again, give it over to God. P.U.S.H. Pray Until Something Happens.

May the Lord direct your heart into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance (2 Thessalonians 3:5).

Cindy and Steve Wright

TO HELP YOU FURTHER:

You may find the following links to articles posted on the internet helpful to read:

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Comments

31 responses to “Give It Over to God Today – Marriage Message #91

  1. (ZAMBIA)  This message is insightful. I have been praying for God to restore marriage for the last 4 months. I have cried, I have prayed, and it seems the more I do that the more my husband shuns me. We do not speak at all. We are separated. This made/makes me feel that God has abandoned and forsaken me. I have lost hope in my situation.

    I suppose I should take it that God is able, and I will let all my problems to him. I want a smile on my face once again. Pray for me. I have only 2 weeks for court hearing. My husband wants a divorce and I dont want a divorce. Do I have a chance to stand? I don’t have enough strength left, I just want to end it all.

    1. (AUSTRIA)  God is faithful and He shall not put those who trust upon him into shame. He will help you, guide you and give you comfort because He knows your willing heart and desire. Be peaceful and let Him do what He will. He is almighty. Be strong because I know you are a strong woman. Continue to pray for your hubby and still trust in God no matter what. In my prayers.

      1. (ZAMBIA)  I sent a text message to my hubby this morning. As usual I got no reply. I felt so distressed. I felt so hopeless.

        Later on I opened my mail box and found mail from a friend telling me to be strong and that God is not man that he can lie. It was more less like your post, Farajah. Thank you. Even if it seems discouraging, I will still trust God to intervene. I pray God gives me strength to stand firmly for the restoration of my marriage.

        1. (ZAMBIA)  My dear sister Mary, I realy feel for you. I know exactly what you are going through and how I pray that I may have an opportunity to communicate with you in depth. Whatever you are going through, no matter how strange or new to you, it isn’t new and there’s always someone in a worse off situation. Thank God for all the blessings you have recieved and He those He still has in store for you.

          I was married in 2000 and to date my marriage has remained troubled. I’ve leaned to trust only God because only He can fully understand your situation and change things in your life. No person, friend, relative, court official or anyone under the sun can give meaning to your life-ONLY God, who knew you would exist understands your potential and limitations… trust and rely on Him only, and wait to see what He will do.No matter how long it takes… Remember, He is a perfect God and all He does at His own time in His own way is the best for us. Stay blessed!

          1. @ Kalunga. Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. Indeed only God knows understands n can help. I’m also drawing my strength in God. Looking to Jesus the Author and the finisher of our faith. God bless you.

      2. (AUSTRALIA)  I will trust God. Its been 15 mths and I was so angry I left him and did a property settlement because he was unrepentant, having sex with a prostitute. This is too much to bear. I forgive him now and ask that Jesus softens his heart to repentance. Amen.

    2. (USA)  Stand firm, put all your hopes & trust in GOD. Forgive him for all the troubles & sorrows that he contribute to your life. Try to be nice instead of trying to be right; just listen instead of trying to be heard. Even if he’s not being a good husband right now, try to be a great wife. Serve him the way God want us to serve our spouse. Try to do everything for the glory of God.

      Hopefully sooner not later, he will change his heart towards you & your marriage. Try to make him feel that he’s your world, & without him you are a less a person that you are now. Make him your 1st priority. Stop what you doing when he’s around… take care of him.

      Lets just do P.U.S.H., hopefully he’ll notice what he’s going to miss if he leaves you. Pretend that all the troubles never happened. His heart will change, if we change our heart 1st. Help us Lord… God Bless you & your family… Good luck to you.

    3. You stand firm. I am in the same situation. Keep standing for your marriage. Don’t give in. God does hear you. HE feels your pain. Please keep praying keep standing.

  2. (ZAMBIA)  In my case I am not with my hubby anymore. We have separated. We don’t see each other. I wish I could behave different towards him, but we don’t ever meet. My parents tried to contact him yesterday so that his family and my family meet as per the tradition. He would not pick up the phone. At some point he could cut the phone just after a few rings.

    I cried myself to sleep last night. Maybe it was never meant to be.

    All along I have been praying for the restoration of my marriage and that God should open my husband’s spiritual eyes so he sees what he has made me go through. I have been praying that God remove the stubborness and pride in my hubby. That my hubby should come to know God and have a personal relationship with him.

    But last night I prayed to God that I have released my husband. If he is happy with whatever he is doing or if he has found somebody else, let it be. I give up.

    1. (ZAMBIA)  My dear sister, it’s not over until God says its over… I know it’s hard, humanly impossible as well! But rather than let it go, leave it to God to do His will. It may not be how and when you want it, just leave it to Him. In the mentime, I just pray that may He give you streglth and patience untill His will is done. We only have one life… try and be around things and people that can make you happy and carry on with life for as long as God allows…

      1. (ZAMBIA)  I am crying right now after reading your post. I believe you do understand what I am going through. Thanks for uplifting me. I guess it’s not over with God. I will get in touch with you.

  3. (BOTSWANA)  I think you should keep on praying hard and fasting. You need to petition your problems to God with a desperate prayer so that God will remember you. You remember the story of Bartmeo and that of Hannah those are good examples of desperate prayers. Tell God to reveal all the dark corners in your life and your marriage could it be pride, or what God is able.

    I am also facing some problems that my husband was having an adulterous affair with another woman and they have a baby. He is still seeing that woman behind my back but he tells me that he is not married to her of which I think he is lying big. I have tried to tell him to leave that behaviour and follow the right way but I have since surrendered. I am busy praying and fasting coz I have realised that only God can change the character of any man. May God really see you thru as you pray. We are together in prayer Isaiah 43:5; Psalm 37:7-9.

    1. (ZAMBIA)  I do really feel for you too Erica. The devil is busy destroying marriages. I have been spending much time in prayer. I have been checking on Christian channels on television, and usually the message I find is “what we think is humaly impossible, is possible with God.” I have to trust him and let his will prevail. I know sometimes it’s hard to see that God is working, and I easily give up. But I will try to be persistence until he accomplishes his will. Thank you for the scriptures. I will remember you in prayer too.

  4. (USA)  Thank You for printing this. I have recently found your website and I am very happy for that. My husband and I have known each other since the 2nd grade (8 yrs old). We grew up as friends and then after we graduated, we I realized I did love him after years of him trying to date me. We were married when we were 19. After a year of problems, we accepted defeat. His parents didn’t like me because my family was not good enough. I was from a very broken home and had severe issues going on in my life. We divorced even though we were soulmates.

    After our divorce, I found out I was pregnant with our child, now 20, but I did not tell him. I raised her myself. She made me promise when she turned 18 to tell her who he was. I did so and in our correspondence, we realized that we always loved each other and had never wanted anyone else. Now we are back together again, we have our 20 year old living with us and her new baby. We also have a 7 year old from a previous marriage of his. We have a home and there seems to be great stress and chaos in our lives. We both work very hard and go to school full time. We have grown apart to say the least.

    I have had some of the old issues creeping back into our lives, as well as his inablity to deal with them. I am currently on medication and waiting on an appointment for counseling services. I lost my temper one time with the baby and although not physically agressive to her, I raised my voice and was very upset. He will not forgive me for this. I was sick and no one was helping me with her insistent crying and I lost it for a minute. He became very distant and would not talk to me for weeks. He started texting on his phone and staying gone away from home all the time. I assumed he had found something else to occupy his time and assumed it was a female. We are very jealous also. I snooped several times and he caught me looking at his phone. He said he cannot trust me any longer and he refuses to sleep with me, have a conversation with me or return any calls. He does tell me he loves me, but only if I tell him first.

    After all that we have been through and been apart for 20 years, I can’t believe he is willing to throw it all away. I have apologized and begged for forgiveness. He keeps pushing me away and that only makes me more frustrated. Please pray for my marriage. We are meant to be together and we are soul mates. We just need to get our marriage back to the way it was before I lost my temper and caused distrust. I have almost given up on my marriage. I have been praying and very upset, but I realize that I have not given this completely over to God. I still am hanging on thinking that I am in control. Please pray that my husband will open his spirit up to me again and we will not lose what we have worked so hard to find again after 20 years. Thank You and God Bless.

    1. (ZAMBIA)  It’s such a trying situation. I feel for you. I will remember you in prayer. I wonder why we sometimes go through such moments in life. Only God knows. As much as it hurts, we have to put trust in him.

      1. (ZAMBIA)  My husband declared it publicly during the family meeting we had between his parents and my parents. He says he does not want to get back with me. He is ready to file for divorce.

        Do I have to keep praying for him or should I pray to release him as he wants solitude? My friends and family are encouraging me to let go and move on. But it’s difficult, I love him and hope my marriage will be restored in God’s time. It has been 5 days now and I have not yet received any divorce papers from the court. Is God still saying something?

  5. (ZAMBIA)  I have been reading comments from time to time. I really want this pain to go away, but for a reason I am still grieving my husband who has not filed for divorce yet, but I hear he has moved on. Is it really necessary to stand and pray for a spouse who said point blankly that he is not interested in reconciliation? How would I know it’s what God wants? Should I just pray so that I release him from my grip and learn to move on myself as I seem to be in denial?

    I am so confused, I don’t have enough strength left; all I do is cry…

    1. (USA) Mary, How I wish I had a way to take away your pain. I can only imagine how much you are suffering. My heart cries with yours. I want to be as sensitive as I can as I answer your questions. You ask if it is “really necessary to stand and pray for a spouse” when he’s not interested in reconciliation. And all I can say to that is, what do you think God would say? By standing and praying, that does not mean you put your life on hold. You are looking to God, lining your will up with what He sees for your future and asking Him to prompt your husband to do what is right. You’re headed in the right direction when you do as you ask, and that is to “release him” from your “grip.” I call it ducking. It is praying and ducking and getting out of God’s way, so He has full access to work within your husband. Your husband can still deny God, but that is his choice, not yours. You aren’t standing in the way.

      I believe Dr David Hawkins gives good advice in the Crosswalk.com article, “Don’t Divorce on a Friday: 7 Ways to Save Your Marriage.” He wrote: “Don’t sit around waiting for your spouse. Don’t act as if your life depends completely on your mate. This gives your mate have an unhealthy sense of power.

      “Do keep yourself strong, attractive and outgoing. You want to put your best foot forward, using every opportunity to make a positive impression. Every situation counts. Every encounter, even if few and far between, makes an impression.”

      This and other advice given in the article might (or might not) help you save your marriage (I provide a link to it in the title). But whatever you do, don’t put your life on hold while it appears that your husband has moved on. Pray, stand faithful and build your life into the best it can be under the circumstances, and watch and see what God does.

      Don’t put your focus on other relationships so your heart grows heavier and don’t get involved in one yourself. (We’re working with a couple that is SO glad neither of them got involved with anyone else while separated because now they’re reconciling, even though it looked hopeless in the past, but they are now glad that they don’t have that added complication as they build for a new future together.)

      This is a time to allow God to be your husband to the degree that your husband won’t. Watch and see how God will unravel this thing. You’ll know in the future if things change, but right now, stand, pray, and work towards a new “normal.” A few principles that Bible teacher Beth Moore points out might help you, if you keep them in mind: “If God puts a stay on things, something is up… things in heaven are coming into play with things on earth. So be patient.” … “We will lose our strength when we wait upon the event, but our strength will be renewed when we wait upon the Lord.” … “We can find our significance and satisfaction in the shelter of the Most High.” I hope and pray you will, Mary.

  6. (ZAMBIA)  Your reply to my post really encouraged me. Thank you Cindy. I will tell you that I have not been myself, I am just a shadow of myself. I have become so enclosed and don’t move about for fear that people will laugh at me. I feel so ashamed to be walking as a divorced woman.

    As hard as it has been, I will try to change the way of thinking. I read “Don’t divorce on a Friday, 7 ways to save your marriage” It was quite inspiring.

    In most African cultures, men rarely file for divorce. They even marry without formally divorcing the previous wife. In this case I hear my ex is involved with someone and he says he is happy. He says my marriage with him was a mistake to begin with. 9 years a mistake!

    I will try to stand firm and also try to live my life as I have been sitting and waiting that my ex hubby is coming back. Thank you again.

  7. (USA) I Need to know if anyone whose husband went to a Christ centered rehab or any rehab was told that they need MORE separation. We are still early in our marriage but God has given me much strength.

    But recently we were told by the center we need MORE separation… my husband has been in the center 58 days. I have only seen him 3 weekends so 5 days today. We talk 1-2 times a week for 10 mins and I write him everyday sending him scriptures to encourage him and pray for him and tell him I love him. It’s nothing dirty or anything truly, just supportive… and they say we need more separation? WHAT DOES that mean from a biblical stand point? I don’t think that is God’s will for our marriage… We have already agreed to be separated, why more?

  8. I’m so glad I found this website. I’m battling the terrible trio of fear, doubt and some unbelief as hard as it is to admit it. I pray and fast and cry out to the Lord but my mind is yet a battle field with the enemy. However, I won’t give up. I will continue to stand for my marriage, which is in peril.

    However, we’re still together, to God be the glory. I believe God can restore my marriage but I must continue to pray for God to help my unbelief as well. I struggle with “casting all my cares of the Lord.” I say I’m giving it to him but I continue to put my hands in it, trying to help a God that needs no help.

    I’ve been blessed to find awesome spiritual and scriptural based websites for encouragement with my marital issues as I’m too consumed with the troubles of my marriage but again, giving up is not an option for me. When I say giving up is not an option I first mean, giving up on Jesus and my salvation then secondly my marriage. One thing the enemy can’t trouble me with is God’s love for me, I know he loves me and these trials come to make me strong but I need Gods help so badly. This is hard but I’m desperate for spiritual growth. I’ve been a born again believer for years but I never grew. I remained a babe in Christ and wasn’t the submissive wife that I should have been. Please keep me in your prayers.

  9. I have been married 15 years and together 17 years; we have 4 beautiful children and 2 months ago my wife told me she was divorcing me and did all the paperwork so it’s ready to go. Out of nowhere, really, this all has just come up in September. We celebrated our anniversary and it was awesome to say the least…these last 2 months have been the worst for me as she has completely cut me off with literally everything even to the point where it says she is single on her facebook. We still live together and it’s hard not getting as much as a hug from her or anything at all like we used to do.

    My kids are really upset by this and don’t understand why mom is doing this even some of her own family don’t get it. I have been praying nonstop and fasting…and still take the kids to church every Sunday by myself because she stopped going and took all our church friends off her social media. Her heart is so hardened and God doesn’t go against her will. I pray at least 10 times a day for her…and see no change…or hope.

    I’m learning to just step back and trust God but it’s hard. My faith is big though. She says lets just get through the holidays for the kids but that makes it so much harder on me to deal with. I have asked God to give me hope and to speak to me and minister to me but I haven’t really heard anything yet. I do believe it’s God’s will for us to be married because of the 4 little kids we have. I have been non stop practicing the fruits of the spirit and literally doing everything for her and the kids….just frustrated right now!!! Will everyone pray for our marriage?

    1. Yes Richard, I’m/we’re praying. May God minister to your needs and the needs of your children. May He talk to your wife’s heart and open her eyes to the destruction she is causing to your family. I pray He speaks to your heart and shows you anything you need to work on in the meantime in your heart and actions –to make permanent, positive changes. I also pray that He speaks to your wife’s heart, reminding her of her wedding vows and the example she is to your children. I hope with all of my heart that she opens her heart and eyes and makes the positive changes that SHE needs to make. My heart goes out to your whole family. Your wife and family needs all the prayers you pray. May He bring light in a very dark situation.

      Richard, you may also want to post your prayer request on the Prayer Wall on this web site so more people will join you in prayer. I pray hope for you!

    2. Richard, I will pray…Oh father, I lift up Richard and his wife and their family to You in this difficult time, knowing that You are the Creator of all and You are fully able to heal and restore any broken marriage. We know that it is Your desire that all marriages be restored and become strong and bring glory to You, for You designed marriage in the beginning. But marriages are under much attack, and the marriage of Richard and his wife is under attack from the evil one. Bring Your hedge of protection around Richard and his children during this time. Strengthen their faith and give them an abiding hope of restoration. Bring Your great power and love down upon Richard’s wife. Do whatever You need to do to stop her in her tracks and drop her to her knees and cause her to cry out to You. Do whatever it takes, Father, by Your great power! Capture her attention and draw her focus back towards Richard and her children. Give Richard soft words of reconciliation and Your perfect wisdom to know the path that You desire him to follow. Show him how to reach out to his wife in a way that draws her back to himself. Give him the insights that he needs to be successful. Bring Healing and restoration to their marriage in a miraculous way that brings great glory to Your Name. Give them a marriage more wonderful than they have ever before even imagined! I ask these things in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus, Amen!!!

  10. Please pray for my husband and I. He left on January 27th after only 4 months of marriage, although we were together for 5 years. He said he felt trapped, that our marriage was not good for him. That he didn’t love me anymore. I have since found out that he started texting someone right after he pulled out of our drive way; she is his co-worker going thru a divorce herself. This past weekend (2/12) he and her are spending time together away from work and he has kissed her. On Monday (2/13) I moved forward with the lawyer. I felt that I was either going to be married or not.

    That night I gave my marriage over to God to work his will in it and my life. It is a daily struggle, sometimes minute by minute. But I am praying for His will to be done. I do not want the divorce, I want God to heal us both and restore our marriage. To make it what He wants it to be. This is not easy.

    Yesterday, he texted me regarding our phone plan. I told him that I loved him and did not want this divorce, that I think he’s a good person and a wonderful husband. Then I told him we would split the bill. I told him I still believed in us and that we can get through anything together. I asked him to soften his heart and let us try. He replied that he didn’t know what to say other than he thinks I’m a good person too. He’s sorry for putting me through this. That I don’t deserve this.

    He doesn’t want to sound like he is changing his mind and mislead me. He still wants to move forward with a separation, but he does feel terrible for putting me through this. He’s so sorry. I just asked him for a chance, to slow down, and not to run into someone else’ arms. Later he said he does care for me and hates seeing me hurt. He said he’s so sorry for hurting me. Then replied that he knows what I want him to say and what I want to hear, but he can’t tell me those things honestly. I did not text him back. I don’t know what to say.

    After reading posts and replies here, I think God may have touched his heart. Maybe working on it? Please pray that this is so and that he would follow God.

    1. Felicia, God has not left you and you feel alone but you are not. Jesus runs to those who are broken and in need. He hears your tears and saves them. Though it is natural for us to put our everything into our spouse, as a once divorced Christian woman with two small children, I learned to never put anyone over my Lord. As humans, we will always disappoint each other. Yes, God hates divorce and I ask Him for restoration in your marriage and for a new identity to be revealed to you as to who you are in Christ, (a victor) and that your husband will discover emptiness in sin and value in his marriage. This is a very fresh wound for you and trust me, he is not as happy as he thinks he is by violating God’s laws in regards to marriage. I pray that you will see the value you have as God’s daughter and that no spirit of rejection can have it’s grip on you. As for me, though my marriage was not restored, I learned how to live life fully trusting God in every situation no matter how bad it looked. I remarried a man who for 33 years we have had a very blessed marriage. I pray that you will practice thanking our Lord everyday for all that He has done for you in life. This sacrifice of giving thanks when we are in the midst of brokenness will bring healing and clarity to your spirit. Pray for your husband and keep an attitude of forgiveness in your heart towards him. Thank the Lord for hearing your prayers and leave it at His feet. Walk in faith and focus on God’s love for you and REST in the knowledge of His ability to handle your situation. I will keep you in my prayers dear Felicia.

      1. Dear S… Thank you for your reply, it was heartfelt, full of love and truth. You are correct, I placed my husband over God and I am deeply sorry for doing that. I need to ask for forgiveness, I really didn’t realize that I had done that, but that is exactly what I did. He left me in April, 2016 and I deeply sought God, He helped me through it and brought him home. At that time we were living together and he insisted on getting married, I finally consented and we were married on October 1st, 2016. After his return I found myself too busy to go to God daily, I was distracted by work, him and the upcoming wedding. Eventually, I stopped going to church, but continued to go to my bible study, however I was just a warm body in the room. I didn’t study outside of class, but loved what we covered in class. All during this time, I didn’t give God all my heart, only what I wanted Him to have pieces of it. I though I could handle all the rest of it.

        I am learning to trust God with my whole heart instead of only giving him some of it. It scary for me as I am a control freak. I pray for God’s strength to get thru this, for His guidance and wisdom, for my husband to turn to God and accept him, but mostly I still pray for reconciliation with my husband even thou he is not saved. Yes, the spirit of rejection does have a grip on me. I do have some questions…you said to “Pray for your husband and keep an attitude of forgiveness in your heart towards him. Thank the Lord for hearing your prayers and leave it at His feet. Walk in faith and focus on God’s love for you and REST in the knowledge of His ability to handle your situation.”

        What should I pray for my husband? My prayers are for him to open his eyes and ear to the Lord (along with other things like I want the God to send his Holy Spirit to touch his heart and soften it towards us, to fill it with much love for me) I have also prayed things to make him feel the weight of his choices and for God to take the other woman out of his life because she is not good for him. How do I leave it at his feet? I pray many of the same things over and over, but I believe that God can do this…I know He can. God is who He says He is and He can do what He says He can do.

        S, I am so happy that God brought someone in your life to spend the years with and blessed you with a wonderful marriage. Per your advice, I will thank God everyday for all He has done in my life. I am so thankful that you replied.

        1. Sweet Felicia, as promised I prayed for you last night as we need God’s counsel daily not just when things get difficult. I want to say that we both share a few similar experiences and personality traits. My first mistake was that I did not follow God’s principles. I was a Christian who who moved in with her boyfriend who was not a Christian. I was living in sin by not being married then made it worse when I married him as an unbeliever. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Bible tells us not to be unequally yoked but I thought He would change in time with my help of course. Lesson learned, only God can change hearts.

          After a short time and two babies, I realized that I had drifted so far from fellowship with my church, my friends, and my Lord that there was no more joy in my life. I leaned on my husband for my happiness, self worth, and to fill a void of loneliness and he became more absent from our home and emotions. This is why God tells us to fellowship with one another so we do not loose our way. For me, it had become clear that I never should have engaged in my relationship with my husband in the first place. I, having the need to be in control of everything and person, got exactly what I wanted and paid a price for it along with my children and everyone who knew us as a married couple. It took a while to learn to stop looking at other people to replace my needs instead of going to God. It was wrong of me and selfish to look at others to be my everything.I was putting myself above the Lord and He let me have my own way because He gives us a choice to do so. How foolish I was.

          Getting your husband back would not be the answere unless you were both changed. My first prayer is that he comes to know the Lord in a personal way. This is more important than anything! Pray for his heart to open it’s door when Jesus comes knocking on it. Do not pray for him with a wrong motive behind your prayer, one out of selfishness . Rather because God loves him as much as He loves you and wants us all to come to Him. When I say pray and leave it at His feet, it means trust God that he heard you, believing and make sure it is a prayer that is prayed according to His word, not your wants or will. That all goes back to letting go of being a control freak. If that had worked for you, you would not be in this situation the same way it did not work for me. I was reduced to nothing. All I could do was run back to Jesus and repent of my selfish ways. Lesson learned, always put God first!

          Lord I pray that her husband will hear Your voice, even in his sleep he will be stirred up to cry out to you for help. We ask that he will realize there is no peace without knowing the peace of God. May he hunger for it and chase after it and as your word says those who seek your face will find You, may he be driven to seek your face. Lord, you say in your word that you can not lie and we believe you hear our petition for this man’s salvation and believe that it will in time, come to pass. We thank you for hearing our prayers and we REST In the knowledge that you alone God, can do all things. I pray for Felicia Lord, that though her heart is fragile, you are willing and able to shield her from emotional scars. I pray that she will learn to examine her heart and motives daily and that by doing so, she will be changed and delivered from old ways, thoughts, habits, patterns. Lord may your will be done in her marriage and may all wrong thinking and motives be exposed and driven out with right thinking. You, Father God, command us to love and we choose to love others and to love ourselves the way you value and love us. You Lord, do not play favorites with your love and we thank you for your mercy, kindness, and for everyday being a new one. In Jesus name we say Amen. Now sweet Felicia, go back to church, find time for fellowship with others, read your bible and find someone else who has a need that you can fill or pray for.

          There are so many people who God wants to minister to but He needs servants. When we serve we not only bring about God’s will here on earth but we are blessed as well. I know this because I live it from my sick bed with a bad heart. I ask the Lord everyday what can I do for you today Father? He was thinking of you all along Felicia and I was the blessed one to happen on this website for the first time and felt your pain. I won’t forget to pray for you. God is good and I will bless Him at all times and in all situations. You are not alone.

          1. S, Thank you for replying. There are so many similarities. Also, thank you for praying for me and your beautiful prayer. I do want Chris to know the Lord and to have a relationship with him AND I do want my husband back. Your reply that I read today was very soothing to me. I know at this time I need to pray for him but concentrate on my relationship with God.

            Yesterday I was so emotionally crazy inside, it was like I was on withdrawals. It was the first day that neither of us contacted the other for any reason. I cannot say how many times I gave it to God. On the way home from work I lost it, literally! I called a friend and when she answered the phone I cried. She must have thought I was nuts. For 5 years, my husband and I have had each other. After work either he called me or I called him to say we were on the way home. Now, no contact. It kills me as he contacts her by text and spends time with her. What I think in my mind hurts the most.

            After I got home I went to her house for a little counseling. She told me I was crazy to even think about taking him back. In fact she said he has already closed the door and has left me with no choice but to move my life forward without my husband. She feels it would be a worse decision then when I took him back in May, 2016 because he was only going to do this again. Later I went to my deacons’ home. We talked about my desire to have my husband back and what that reality might look like. He told me that what I really wanted was what I thought our marriage was. He told me that he felt if I took him back that Chris would do this again and I had two choices; 1) take him back and live in this pattern for our lives together, or 2) Let go and move forward waiting for God’s best in my life. I asked about option 3) God changes his heart and mine! He asked me to pray to God to let Him take control, to take the longing away for Chris if he was not to be in my life or if he was to do what ever it took to reconcile us as quickly as possible. I did and it did bring some peace. Of course I prayed for him as well from The Power of a Praying® Wife
            and The Power of PrayerTM to Change Your Marriage both from Stormie O’Martin.

            Today (2/18) he is in Florida. He arrived late last night on the ticket I bought him so he can see his father. And of course the texting has begun again although it’s a different number, she probably changed her number. His brother, sister in law and his father know what is going on. Chris is there until Sunday night. I have prayed that if Chris is doing anything against our marriage that God will reveal it to his family and they will confront him. I have prayed for God to give his brother the right words for Chris to hear and that Chris will have an open mind and heart to receive them. I pray this visit will convict him to accept God. I also pray God will touch his heart and he would contact me.

          2. Felicia my friend, I was unable to view the end of your last post but from what I read on page two, you are going in the right direction but still trying to steer the car. This is what us control freaks do, keep taking the steering wheel back from God. I can not interfere with counsel you are seeking elsewhere, only trying to add to it. Notice I did not pray against you and your husband, I prayed in both of yours favor. Restoration is a work in process. I learned that from decades of life experience. Seeking too much advice from too many can cause anxiety upon the anxiety you already have, creating mass confusion and unrest.

            I can only pray God’s will in your direction and REST in the knowledge that He knows your needs and the needs of your husband better than any wise counselor. If this was my story, I would wait for the divorce papers to come to you from him while I am seeking God’s wisdom and praying for healing and restoration. If after a time, he wanted to have his cake and eat it to then there would be nothing wrong for you to file for a legal separation. This sends a message that you can no longer live under as man and wife but that you are still relentless in your hope of reconciliation. This puts you in control without violating God’s love for your marriage. Only God knows the intimate details of your lives and how long enough is enough for you. That is neither the call to make from a friend, deacon, counselor, ect. I have many years of life experience and need to be considerate of yours be they many or few. Do not lean on others to influence your decisions.

            Lean on what the Holy Spirit is prompting you to do. I will meet you in heaven one day and introduce myself as one of your prayer warriors. You are not alone and neither is Chris. Jesus paid a high price for all of us and sits at right hand of The Father. Jesus intercedes for us to The Father. Life is not about us, it is in the end about The Father’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

          3. Dear S, This weekend I found he did not go and see his father. He said he got on the plane and panic came over him, that he had to get off. We spoke several times this Sunday. I let him know that I had filed and though I didn’t want it, his decisions led me to mine. He called and told me he didn’t want a divorce but needed this time of separation to work things out. That this other person was just a distraction to him and nothing more. He said he was open to us and sorry for everything that he had done to me. While he asked for my forgiveness he wasn’t wanting to come back home. He said he felt nothing in his heart for anyone at this time.