Marriage issues — we all have them! If you’re married, there will be issues! Obviously, we can’t tackle them all. We can’t even make a big dent. But we can try to help in some way. So, we’re going to highlight several tough marriage issues and you can look at each one and see what you are dealing with and need to address. First:
• What if you are dealing with illness within your marriage? Myrna Pugh gives the following insight into this situation: “Sometimes ‘sickness’ can be the ‘healthiest’ place to be if God is present. That is because He can change us there.” And it’s true! But how do you get to that “healthy” place emotionally when you and your marriage are hit with this reality? Here’s an article that might give you some tips:
WHEN ILLNESS INTRUDES UPON YOUR MARRIAGE
Additionally, there are links to several other articles that deal with this issue, posted on the Marriage Missions web site. Just choose the article you believe will be most helpful. Pray, read, glean, and use the info you can (tossing out that, which won’t help):
Tough Marriage Issues
Here’s another one of those tough marriage issues:
• What’s love got to do with it? Have you or another spouse you know ever heard the words, “I love you but I’m not in love with you”? You’re probably heartbroken and confused if you’ve heard those words — particularly, if they’re aimed at you. It’s been termed as “the kiss of death” and that’s probably pretty close. It HAS to be devastating!
Obviously, we can’t give you a quick formula that will totally solve this problem for you. But we can lead you to some info that the Lord may use in your life to help you in some way. We pray so! First, here are a few quotes and then we’ll give you the link.
Marriage expert and counselor Joe Beam says that when a spouse says that to their marriage partner, “It typically means, ‘I have emotions for you, but it’s not what I want.’” It’s a confusing spin on what “love” is all about. Pastor Mark D. gives this insight on this matter — it’s something for you to prayerfully consider:
“People may fall out of repentance, but they don’t fall out of love. God tells us we can love our enemies. How? Because love doesn’t begin with or emanate from us; God is love. Even when we’re not feeling particularly friendly toward our spouse, we can still love them with the love that God gives.”
For more (which we pray will minister to you), read:
I LOVE YOU BUT I’M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU
More Tough Marriage Issues
• Next, is the marriage issue of marital abuse. As Rob Jackson has said, “All marriages are sacred, but not all are safe.” Sadly, that’s true.
“Most people think ‘abuse’ is solely physical attacks such as hitting, punching, kicking, pulling hair, twisting limbs, pinching, slapping, biting, etc. But there are many other types of abusive behavior, which hurt just as much or more than physical abuse. Just because an abuser stops hitting his spouse doesn’t mean he [or she] has stopped being abusive.” (Brenda Branson)
For a more info on this topic, please read:
Next:
• What about bitterness and forgiveness in marriage?
“Marriage becomes a series of surprises for most of us, and one of them is how frequently we need to forgive and be forgiven.” (Dr Ed Wheat)
“Every husband-and-wife combination needs the healing touch of forgiveness. Where else could there be more opportunity to annoy, insult, offend, or ruffle another person than in the intimacy of married life when we’re constantly under foot, get in each other’s way, and have to share all things in common (whether we like it or not)? That’s just ordinary living, without taking into account the astonishingly hurtful things husbands and wives do, which demands more forgiveness than any of us could work up on our own.” (Dr Ed Wheat)
While there are a lot of twists and turns to this issue within marriage, we can recommend a few articles that might give you much needed insight. First:
DON’T LET BITTERNESS POISON YOUR MARRIAGE
And then, to dive deeper into this topic the following is a link to an index page, which gives you a list of linked articles you can choose to read, glean through, and prayerfully learn more that can help you.
Lastly (for this Marriage Insight):
• Are you enjoying marriage? Are you enjoying your marriage as much as you thought you would before you married your spouse? That’s a tough one! It’s difficult when so many things invade our lives that work to separate our harmony. But even in the “midst of the grind” or in the midst of turmoil, we hope you will dig in deeper to find ways to get through the tough times together and then find ways to enjoy the journey of marriage.
“Like cupcakes that are missing sugar, there are too many Christian marriages that are missing a key ingredient. This missing ingredient in too many marriages doesn’t mean they’re not marriages, just as a cupcake missing sugar doesn’t mean it’s not a cupcake. But neither ‘tastes’ good. When we realize that what is at stake is not a bad batch of baked goods but potentially a poor reflection of the gospel through our marriage relationship, we will do all we can to put the ingredient of joy back into our marriages.” (Tim Counts)
We have a video posted on our web site that addresses this matter (with laughs along the way) and then more recommended afterward. First, we encourage you to watch:
ENJOYING MARRIAGE IN THE MIDST OF THE GRIND
And then here’s a video link to more that Ted Cunningham has to say on this subject, and then what Dr. Marcus Warner & Rev. Chris Coursey say about this marriage issue. We hope all of this helps.
REDISCOVERING THE JOY IN YOUR MARRIAGE
Plus:
FILLING YOUR MARRIAGE WITH JOY
We know this Marriage Insight is a bit different than other ones we’ve posted, but we believe it can be helpful. And that is one of our goals. We all struggle with tough marriage issues, but they don’t have to be unsurmountable. If we commit them to the Lord, look for wisdom that God leads us to, and then apply what we learn we can get through the tough times as marriage partners, rather than opponents. We pray that for you.
“And this is my [our] prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ —to the glory and praise of God.” (Philippians 1:9-11)
Cindy and Steve Wright
— ADDITIONALLY —
To help you grow further, we give a lot of personal stories, humor, and more practical tips in our book, 7 ESSENTIALS to Grow Your Marriage. We hope you will pick up a copy for yourself. (It’s available both electronically and in print form.) Plus, it can make a great gift for someone else. It gives you the opportunity to help them grow their marriage. And who doesn’t need that? Just click on the linked title or the picture below:
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