From time to time we like to share marriage quotes that we believe spouses can use to better navigate their marriages. We like to do this because there is something for everyone. If one quote isn’t helpful to you, the next one could be. Variety truly can be the “spice of life.”
So, here are several marriage quotes that we picked out to help you. Some of these marriage quotes are related. Others are not. Just read and glean through what you believe you can use. Prayerfully read each one and consider what God may be saying to you.
Insightful Marriage Quotes to Note
• “There are two words that contribute a great amount toward safety in marriage. If spouses engage one another from these postures, there is a strong likelihood the marriage will move in a direction that feels good. The two words are soft and slow. Slowing down and softening your tone of voice, your words, your body language and expressions, your pace, your heart, etc. can have dramatic effects. Try it on for size the next time you interact with your spouse. And then see what happens over time.” (National Institute of Marriage)
• “If you find yourself in an argument that’s going nowhere and that’s on the verge of getting nasty and personal, stop. Take a break. Pause and breathe. Then take 20 minutes by yourself to do something that calms you down. A meditative technique, such as deep breathing, will help. Or you can read a book, go for a walk, or, really, do anything that will help you pause. And breathe.” (The Gottman Institute)
We’ve used both of those marriage tips. And do you know what? They work! (They do for us, at least!) Our suggestion: Try them and see if they work for you in your marriage.
Here are a few more marriage quotes pertaining to arguments:
It is wise to argue about one subject at a time. This runs contrary to our nature. But it sure does help us to resolve the immediate problem.
• “Arguments have the bad habit of flowing from one subject to think: ‘As long as we’re discussing who caused the dent in the fender, I’ll also throw in a few comments on his snoring.’ Gently insist on one topic at a time. If you’ve decided to settle a problem, settle that one problem before going on to another. You make little progress when you are talking on one subject and your spouse is challenging you on another front.” (Caryl Krueger)
• “Sometimes pain makes us lash out. When your spouse erupts in anger that seems out of proportion to the situation, look to see if he (she) is in the grip of pain. Perhaps your spouse feels something coming on that he (she) is powerless to handle. The only thing he (she) knows how to do is fight it tooth and nail. Rather than yell back, or placate, let your words and actions send a message of compassion. Say, ‘I know you’re having a hard time. I want to understand. I’m here to help.’” (Toni Sciarra Poynter)
To truly help our spouse when he or she is in pain, sometimes we need to step outside of our wants to address their needs. This takes humility and selflessness. But applying compassion can truly be a road to bring healing.
• “When we surrender our pride, our spouse’s irritability, our need to feel vindicated, or whatever else to God we find we’re freed. We can then love our spouse first, and then find resolution second.” (Joshua Pease)
A Few More Quotes to Note
• “Both husbands and wives need admiration. We want compliments and appreciation for serving a great dinner, caring for a sick relative, getting a promotion at work, losing weight, looking amazing, hard work, intelligence, ability to provide for the family, etc. To strengthen your marriage, watch for what you can admire in your spouse.” (Poppy Smith)
Here’s something else written about that issue:
“In marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather than a critic, a forgiver rather than a collector of hurts, someone who cheers on the good rather than a reformer.” (H. Norman Wright)
And then we encourage you to give your spouse “good press” whenever you can.
• “Loving couples use every opportunity to boost each other in front of other people and to cast each other in the best light—much as they did in their dating days, when they wanted their friends and family to appreciate and like their new love. Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain —and most fools do. (Dale Carnegie)
Marriage Quotes That Challenge You
• “Read Philippians 4-8 as a couple. And then make this your prayer today: Lord help us to focus on whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, and whatever is excellent or praiseworthy. Help us to see the best in each other, even when we are at our worst. Deepen our love for you and our love for one another. Amen.” (Gary Thomas)
• “Every time you pray together, you are letting God into your lives and into the particular situation you talk about to Him. In those moments of prayer as a couple, God wraps His arms around each of you. He then bridges any gaps between you. No matter how difficult the situation, there is no substitute for the flood of peace that results from a husband and wife praying together. There is no situation so dark or problem so hopeless that God can’t shine His light and provide help. And most importantly, when you pray faithfully through an extremely painful situation, you’ll find that the difficulty actually brings you closer together instead of tearing you apart. (Cheri Fuller)
Here’s a related tip that also can help cement your relationship together:
• “Whatever your prayer styles, accept each other’s differences. Realize that if God wanted you to pray exactly the same way with the same style and gifts, you wouldn’t need each other! Discussing your differences and thanking God for them is a first step toward melding them in prayer.” (Cheri Fuller)
Just keep it simple (unless you both are comfortable praying in less simplistic styles). The point is:
• “Pray together. Take your wife’s or husband’s hand and say, ‘Honey, let’s pray about…’ And then Pray! Don’t hog the prayer; pray a few sentences and then let your spouse pray too. It doesn’t take long, ‘church-y’ prayers. It simply takes you and your spouse being honest with God. Not only will this connect you more closely with your spouse, it will connect both of you more closely with God.” (Harold Gillogly)
But whatever you do, don’t make your “prayer styles” something you fight about. What do you think God would think about your fighting over prayer? Is that’s God’s will for you… judging each other’s approach to prayer? Let God be the judge. You just find ways to marry your different prayer approaches to work for your marriage the best you can. Above all:
• “Watch what God does. And then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.” (Ephesians 5:1-2, The Message)
More Marriage Quotes
• “Accept the fact that you’re not married to perfection. But neither is your spouse. Your spouse makes mistakes that upset you (just as you make mistakes that upset your spouse). But this doesn’t make him or her a bad person. Understand that your spouse chose you in spite of your faults. Tolerating, being patient, accommodating and not complaining are wonderful ways to communicate commitment and love.” (Tony Rankin)
• “We all have our faults. And there will be times when it’s appropriate to approach our spouses about issues we see. But most of the time, we need to stay focused on the good things about each other. What does your spouse do well? What do they get right? What’s something you love about them? When did they step up and do something memorable or selfless?” (Drs Les and Leslie Parrott)
Is that difficult to do? Yes, we find it difficult too. But:
• “God wants you to be more interested in His dealing with you than His dealing with your spouse. He basically says, ‘Let me deal with them as I deal with you. Let me grow them while I grow you.’ God does invite you into the process. He doesn’t say, ‘Stay out of this!’ But the part of the process He invites you into is the part that most of us would rather not take head-on.” (Wynter Pitts)
May we continually listen to God’s leading!
“May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.” (2 Peter 1:2)
And may we learn from each other, as God works within us to improve our marriages!
Cindy and Steve Wright
— ADDITIONALLY —
To help you further, we give a lot of personal stories, humor, and more practical tips in our book, 7 ESSENTIALS to Grow Your Marriage. We hope you will pick up a copy for yourself. (It’s available both electronically and in print form.) Plus, it can make a great gift for someone else. It gives you the opportunity to help them grow their marriage. And who doesn’t need that? Just click on the linked title or the picture below:
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