“Do you swear to speak the whole truth, and nothing by the truth, so help you God?” That’s an oath used here in the United States that is asked to those who are going to give a testimony in a court of law. We’d like to ask you a similar question, “Do you want to LIVE BY the whole truth, and nothing but the truth as it pertains to marriage, so help you God?” To live by truth it’s important to look at Myths VS truth.
There are a lot of myths we can grab onto that need to be exposed to the truth of the God’s Word, the Bible. So for this Marriage Message we’d like to share with you 10 of the myths and truths concerning marriage that are listed in the book, Marriage! The Journey written by Anne Trippe.
Anne includes in the book more explanations concerning these myths, but this is a good start. You can read more, if you obtain the book. And that way you will know if you are living by “the whole truth” and not just something you assume is true. Here’s what Anne wrote:
10 MYTHS VS. TRUTH
1. MYTH: I am responsible for my spouse’s or another’s emotional well-being. I must apologize if he or she isn’t okay or if they do something wrong (or) I am accountable to God for my spouse.
Each one shall give account of himself to God. (Romans 14:12) I cannot rescue my brother by any means. Each person eats the fruit of his own way. (Proverbs 1:31 and Psalm 49:7)
2. MYTH: Real men do not show they need help.
When I humble myself before God, in due time He exalts me. (1 Peter 5:6) Pride comes before a fall. (Proverbs 16:18)
3. MYTH: I must get respect from my mate and others to know I am of worth.
I am called to love and to serve others and consider them better than myself. (Philippians 2:3) Pride comes before destruction and shame. (Proverbs 11:2; Proverbs 16:18) I am to become of “no reputation” and be a servant. (Philippians 2:5-8) He has made me accepted and perfect. (Ephesians 1:6; Hebrews 10:14)
4. MYTH: My peace is tied to my spouse’s and/or others’ opinions and to my being treated fairly. To be fulfilled, I am entitled to my spouse treating me the way the Lord commands him/her to.
Jesus Christ is my peace and gives me peace. (John 14:2) I am in perfect peace as my mind is fixed on Him. As I humble myself, I’ll enjoy peace. (Psalm 37:11; Isaiah 26:3) I will remain lonely unless I die to my own way of trying to make things work for me. (John 12:24) He wants to fill me and my loneliness with Himself. I am to find my completeness in Christ. (Colossians 3:3; Ephesians 5:17-18) I’m not entitled to others meeting my needs. My needs are met in Christ. I am complete in Him. He will fill me. (Philippians 4:19; Ephesians 5:17-18; Colossians 2:10)
5. MYTH: Husbands and wives should complete each other.
Each has been made complete in Christ. (Colossians 2:10)
6. MYTH: I can’t help being depressed and without hope if my circumstances don’t change.
Christ gives me hope and a garment of praise for a spirit of heaviness. (Psalm 16:11; Psalm 27:14; Isaiah 61:3; Psalm 31:24; Romans 15:13). Hope is not based on circumstances, but is only in Christ. (Romans 15:13; 1 Timothy 1:1; Colossians 1:27)
7. MYTH: If I am treated unfairly, it makes me a doormat.
Even though trials and unfairness will come to all, the Lord has made me who I am. Tribulation and trials will come to all, beginning with God’s people. But Christ has overcome these things on my behalf. (1 Peter 1:6; 1 Peter 4:12; John 16:33) He has plans for my good and desires to satisfy me with good things. (Psalm 103:5; Jeremiah 29:11) After I have experienced a trial, trusting Him, He will establish, strengthen and perfect me. (1 Peter 5:10)
Those reviling my good behavior shall be put to shame. (1 Peter 3:17) As I walk in righteousness, no weapon formed against me shall prosper. (Isaiah 54:17) I am perfect in Christ, and one in Spirit with Him. (Hebrews 10:14; 1 Corinthians 6:17) I have been made accepted by Him. (Ephesians 1:6) Christ died that I would be the righteousness of God in Him. (2 Corinthians 5:21)
8. MYTH: If I punish my spouse or others, then they will love me and give me what I need.
I will eat the fruit of my own way. I will reap what I sow. If I sow to the flesh, I will reap corruption! As I am unselfish and love my spouse and others (sow to the Spirit), I will reap that eternal life of Christ’s sufficiency for me. (Matthew 5:46; Galatians 6:7-8; Proverbs 1:31)
9. MYTH: I must “fix and direct” if things are to go right for me and if I am going to be secure and at peace. (I must control interactions and circumstances.)
God will work all things together for me if I love Him and am called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) He is faithful and will cause it to happen. (1 Thessalonians 5:24) God works His will in the army of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth. (Daniel 4:35) God will accomplish that which concerns me. (Psalm 138:8)
10. MYTH: If the Lord cared about me, He would give me a person to fill my loneliness —make me complete and fulfilled. I need a person to complete me.
I will remain lonely unless I die to my own way of trying to make things work for me. (John 12:24) He wants to fill me and my loneliness with Himself. I am to find my completeness in Christ. (Colossians 3:3; Ephesians 5:17-18)
We hope the Lord exposed the myths you may have held in the past and ministered in His Truth. Today can be a new beginning in your marriage as you allow the truth of God to set you free to become the spouse God knew you could live up to all along.
Cindy and Steve Wright
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