Are You Prepared for a Marriage Hurricane?

“For as long as you’re alive, you’re going to find yourself being surprised by life’s events. There will always be something unexpected that takes place that threatens the level of teamwork you have with your spouse.” (Kevin Bullard)

You don’t have to be married very long before you see this truth. We’ve sure had our share of “surprises” that have taken every bit of teamwork we could grab onto to hold it together! And we know that we can expect even more! That’s all a part of living life on this side of Heaven! There are times of blessings and calm and there are also times when storms hit us head on! But the question is, are we prepared for them (at least as prepared as we can be)? And what if the storm turns into a marriage hurricane?

Here’s what Debi Walter, from The Romantic Vineyard says about this (with a few added scriptures) that we believe could help you:

Are You Prepared for a Marriage Hurricane?

It’s nearing the peak of hurricane season in Florida (September 10th). The newest families to call Florida home are the ones most likely to panic as a storm approaches.

As a native Floridian, we don’t panic, but we prepare. We have boards to cover our windows if the storm is a Category 2 or higher. We make sure we have enough essentials: batteries, flashlights, food in the pantry, etc. We bring in patio furniture and anything loose in the yard. And secure a generator in case the power goes out. Then we wait and watch.

Marriages have hurricanes as well. Some more than others, but it is imperative for all of us to prepare for them. What if we take the steps of hurricane preparedness and apply it to our relationship? How would it impact our next conflict?

First and foremost, when the high winds of adversity hit your marriage, it is good to cover your heart with the truth. Remember you are both on the same team fighting the storm together. Protection looks like thinking the best of your spouse when the situation looks otherwise.

Marriage Hurricane Needed Essentials

These are the essentials needed when a hurricane of conflict is building on the horizon:

• a listening ear

“Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” (James 1:19) “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.” (Proverbs 18:13)

• being slow to speak

“Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.” (Proverbs 17:27) “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” (James 1:19)

• shining the light of truth on every thought allowing God’s Word to be your guide

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5) “Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.” (Ephesians 4:15)

• Good counsel—this helps your marriage stay nourished instead of famished.

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.” (Proverbs 12:15) “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.” (Proverbs 19:20) “Where there is no guidance, people fall, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14)

Also:

• Quickly resolve little irritations. These can go flying when the high winds of trouble increase.

“Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” (Proverbs 19:11) “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” (Ephesians 4:26) “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” (Romans 12:18)

• Maintain a healthy relationship with the Lord. He is our anchor in every situation we will face as a couple. He keeps the lights on when darkness is trying to blind us from understanding each other.

“We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain…” (Hebrews 6:19) “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. (Ephesians 5:1-2)

Hurricanes are a force to be reckoned with in Florida [and in other parts of the world, as well], and conflict is a formidable foe in marriage. How much you prepare during the seasons of plenty will determine how well you endure the season of want.

The best part of a hurricane are the days that follow the storm. The humidity drops clearing the air of the oppressive, summer heat. The cloudless skies even seem bluer.

So too in marriage! We may kiss and make up, but the fresh air of understanding deepens our intimacy in a way only forgiveness can.

So, this begs the question, are you prepared for a marriage hurricane?

We hope so! Thanks Debi for these insights.

Need a little more help on this issue?

Here are a few closing tips from other marriage advisors:

From Lesli Doares:

“If you or your spouse thinks there is a problem in your marriage, there is one. And the sooner you deal with it the better off you and your relationship will be. No one thinks less of a person who prepares for a hurricane. But someone protecting their marriage? Often, not so much.

“While you might be able to rebuild the damage from a hurricane, even if it takes a while, the impact of not taking care of your marriage has lifetime costs. You can prepare now or pay later.” (From the article, “Hurricane Proof Your Marriage”)

Doug Fields gives this input:

“When it comes to marriage, all of us live in a hurricane zone. And since the pressures, crises, and tragedies of life seldom blow in with advance warning, it is during the calm stretches of life that we must get ready for them. Persevering love is founded on the devotion and friendship a husband and wife build before the storm strikes. If you and your spouse find yourselves in one of those lulls between storms, rejoice! And while you are rejoicing, take the opportunity to prepare for stormy weather ahead.

“Now is the time to shore up your marriage. Work on a Bible study together. Take a second honeymoon—or third, or fourth. Read some good books on marriage enrichment and discuss them together. Attend a Christian marriage conference. Seek out a biblically based Christian counselor and ask for pointers on how to deepen your friendship. The more you invest in your marriage between the storms, the better prepared you will be to endure the storms together—and even come through them stronger.” (From the article, “Persevering Love: How to Survive the Tough Times”)

In Closing

Kevin B. Bullard gives the following advice that we’ve found has helped us time and time again when we DO get hit between the eyes with unpleasant “surprises” and that, which can be termed as a Marriage Hurricane. “Make love happen.” He writes:

“When life happens, you must determine to make love happen. While love won’t immediately make everything better, it will certainly provide the strength and grace needed to make it through tough times. Moreover, it will reorient you with God’s love for you, and the love you pledged to your spouse. When life happens, make love happen.” (Kevin B. Bullard)

Invest everything within you to:

“Be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (Ephesians 5:1-2)

We pray you will!
Cindy and Steve Wright

— ADDITIONALLY —

To help you grow further, we give a lot of personal stories, humor, and more practical tips in our book, 7 ESSENTIALS to Grow Your Marriage. We hope you will pick up a copy for yourself. (It’s available both electronically and in print form.) Plus, it can make a great gift for someone else. It gives you the opportunity to help them grow their marriage. And who doesn’t need that? Just click on the linked title or the picture below:

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