No one can guarantee anyone that they can “save their marriage” but we can sure offer a helping hand. That’s the mission of this web site. Our marriage sure has needed helping hands at certain times. That need has inspired us to extend helping hands to others who need an extra push in a healthy direction.
So one of the things we offer on this web site is “quotes” from marriage “experts” on various topics. We provide quotes within almost every topic we make available on this web site. One of them is the “Save My Marriage” topic.
For example, here is a tip from Gary Thomas’ book, Devotions for a Sacred Marriage. (It’s a great book that we highly recommend to couples, by the way.)
If you’re in a difficult season in your marriage and you start to think, “How can I take another 10 or 20 or, God forbid, 30 years of this?” you’re headed for trouble. You’re asking God to give you the grace for something that hasn’t happened. Instead, break it down to a single unit — a single day: “Just focus on this: Can I love my husband [or wife] for this day?” Don’t think about ten years down the road, or even ten months! Can you love your spouse for this one day?
Some friends who knew I was running the Seattle Marathon asked me, “How did you do that for twenty-six miles?” My answer? “One mile at a time.” How do you stay married for twenty-six years? One day at a time. Break it down. Focus on the here and now. Put the future in God’s hands. Some miles will seem easy, and some will feel hard, but you need to focus only on the ones you’re currently running. Let the others remain in his care. Can you love your spouse for this one day?
Bite Sized Pieces
Breaking it all down into bite sized pieces sure can help when everything seems over-whelming. I’ve done that so many times when I just didn’t think I was capable of handling it all in a healthy way. This tip works when you’re trying to save your marriage, and also can apply to difficult situations we face. Sometimes just viewing it as a “rough season” or so truly does help.
I’ll give you another tip that was posted in an article on the Familylife.com web site. You may find it helpful too. The title of the article is, “Emotional Abandonment: When Your Spouse Shuts You Out.”
Dr Dave Currie with Glen Hoos writes:
Somebody has to break out of the negative cycle of eye-for-an-eye, poor treatment for poor treatment. You need to step out of the insult-for-insult cycle and respond differently. You cannot control your spouse’s behavior, but you can control your own. Regardless of how your spouse responds, you must choose to treat them with love. This is not easy to do when your partner is not reciprocating. However, it is what you vowed to do when you promised to love each other “for better or for worse.” Nothing breaks down emotional barriers like unconditional love.
Dr Emerson Eggerichs calls it, “Getting off the crazy cycle.” Someone has to gather their whits enough to stop going around and around in arguing about the same thing. Steve and I have both had to do this at times in our marriage. One of us needs to pull back, and start “speaking the truth in love.” Or sometimes, it is best to give it a rest, maybe not bringing it again. This is a decision you need to prayerfully make. You don’t want to “win” the battle and lose the war.
For additional tips and quotes that may help you with your marriage problems, please go to the following linked quotes:
You may also want to read and watch the Testimonies and review the Links and Recommended Resources in that topic. Lastly, there are insightful articles to read in the following topic (as well as others within the web site):
I pray they help.
“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ —to the glory and praise of God.” (Philippians 1:9-11)
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this blog.
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