When Past Sexual Abuse Affects a Marriage’s Intimacy

This is a very difficult article to write. And it is a very difficult message to deliver. If you are haunted by horrible memories from the past sexual abuse you experienced, I want you to know that you CAN experience freedom. I know. I know because I also lived in that Read More…

A Pathway to Healing Marriage – MM #129

Many people come into their marriages with deep hurts embedded into their souls. Because of the closeness of marriage these hurts eventually emerge. And when they do they can cause even more damage later on in life. When we marry, it’s important to find ways to empty our hearts of Read More…

The Journey of Forgiving Yourself

“Do you dare release the person you are today from the shadow of the wrong you did yesterday? Do you dare forgive yourself? Forgiving yourself takes high courage. Who are you, after all, to shake yourself free from the undeniable sins of your private history —as if what you once did has Read More…

Why Hurt People Hurt People

It is an old adage that says, “Hurt people hurt people.” Those who have been emotionally damaged tend to inflict their hurt and pain on other people. For example, a large percentage of those who have been sexually abused become the abusers of others. Those who suffered under an alcoholic Read More…

DESPITE BEING HURT: Gaining A Positive Attitude

When we’ve been hurt by our spouse (or anyone else) our first tendency is to protect ourselves from ever being hurt like that again. That can be a good instinct. But then temptation enters in to become bitter, and wallow in unforgiveness because of the victimization we feel. Sometimes bitterness Read More…

The “GHOST” Of Marriage Past

“The past has very little substance, but it stays close to your heels.” (Unknown) It is human nature to view new relationships in light of previous ones. It’s like putting on sunglasses that are tinted yellow or black. Everything you see has a yellow or black hue. We often view our Read More…

Self-Forgiveness After Being Sexually Abused

Perhaps the most difficult act of forgiving and the most critical one for the abuse survivor is leaning to forgive herself. She must learn self-forgiveness with the same determination with which she forgives those who brought her pain. A whole jury of self-accusations cries out against her:.“Why didn’t I say, Read More…

When Childhood Sexual Abuse Affects Marriage Intimacy

A person who has been sexually abused as a child often thinks that once the abuse stops, he or she can “just get on with life.” At that point everything will be “just fine.” After-all, the past is the past, right? Wrong. Personal Experience of Abuse I’ve been there and Read More…

A HEALING SEPARATION With Goals

A marital Healing Separation is a structured time apart. This can help a couple to heal a relationship that isn’t working. It can also help revitalize and renew the relationship so it is working. The intent of this time of separation is to move it from neediness to health. A Read More…