Fixing Irritations That Come Between Us in Marriage

“Isn’t it usually the day-to-day, wash-the-toothpaste-down-the-sink, close-the-toilet-seat kind of irritations about living with someone that can drive us crazy? It’s funny, but you can love someone deeply and still become easily bothered by the simple act of sharing space with them.” (Kristine Carlson, from book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Read More…

Is What You’re Doing the Wisest Approach?

You want change to happen in your marriage, but you don’t change what you’re currently doing about it even when you see it’s not working. Hmmm… the question comes to mind, “How’s that working for you?” If it’s working, then don’t change anything. But if it’s not, perhaps you need to make Read More…

Right Fighting in Marriage

Are you a “right fighter?” When you’re conflicting with your spouse, do you keep fighting about the issue at hand until you feel you’ve made the point clear that you are right and he or she is wrong? It’s that “winner takes all” attitude, making you (think you’re) the winner and Read More…

S.T.O.P. Arguing

It’s extremely rare (if ever) that spouses can live together and NOT disagree at times. But do we need an audience? Is it possible to argue and not involve others? Of course, the answer to the first question is, no, we don’t “need” an audience. The answer to the second Read More…

Division and Strife

We’re going to take this week and next to talk about two different —and very important —models for marriage. This week we’ll focus on the DIVISION and STRIFE model and next week on the UNITY and OVERCOMING model. At the outset let me (Steve) say Cindy and I KNOW that Read More…

Before Conflict Arises in Marriage – MM #352

“The best place to start dealing with conflict is before conflict arises. That’s right, BEFORE a conflict arises. Every couple has their own combination of attitudes, emotions, and circumstances that set them up for conflict, but most couples are totally unaware of what they are. As you identify the factors Read More…

Good and Angry Marriage – MM #351

“You used to be MADLY IN LOVE, but now you’re JUST MAD!” (Gary and Carrie Oliver) Does that describe you, in how you relate to your spouse? Do you find that before you got married, you used to see so many things that you loved about him or her? But now Read More…

Healthy Conflict in Marriage – MM #349

Healthy Conflict … Do those two words go together? A lot of people think that a good marriage is one where there ISN’T any conflict. But that’s not true. It’s a natural occurrence in marriage. “What most spouses are surprised to learn is that marriage probably generates more anger than Read More…