Does your husband feel you love him? And does he feel romanced by you? Are you sure? Both are important to you and to him. Have you asked your husband about this lately? We’re asking you these questions because we’ve found the following to be true. And it may be true for your husband, as well:
“A husband considers romance to be one way and the wife considers it to be another. The wife may make many romantic gestures, which go unnoticed by her husband. That is because it wasn’t romantic to him. He didn’t feel the love in the same way it was given.
What is wrong? Are the gestures extended not romantic or thoughtful? No. Are the recipients ungrateful and self-absorbed? No. The wife is simply not romancing her husband in a way that is romantic to him!
“This is a great truth that once practiced is sure to produce lasting fruit. Study your spouse. Find out what romance means to him or her? It may surprise you! But if you do your homework you will become the master of what really turns your spouse on!” (Debi Walter, from The Romantic Vineyard)
Show Your Husband Love His Way, Rather Than What Makes Sense to You
So, we have a challenge for you! You may feel you do a good job of showing your husband that he is loved. But is it TRULY the way that he best feels loved? That’s what this challenge is all about. It will reveal what MOST speaks love to your husband.
So, to begin, we encourage and challenge you to look over the list below. And then make up a copy to share it with your husband. (Make sure you do this when you are alone together. Plus, make sure you do this at a time when he is not preoccupied with something else.)
And then discuss this list with your husband. Have him check the most meaningful suggestions listed below. He can then point out the ones that are most importance to him. Use this list as a basis for learning his views. Your relationship can be greatly strengthened as you use the suggestions.
But keep in mind that these are ONLY SUGGESTIONS. Don’t feel pressured that you have to use all of them. But look at them as ways to bless and romance your husband.
(ALSO… there’s a list in the “Romantic Ideas” topic, which gives husbands 100 ideas. It is titled, 100 Ways to Show Love to Your Wife HER Way. So don’t feel slighted. Just share it with him.)
SUGGESTIONS on How to Show Love to Your Husband:
1. Respectfully communicate with him.
2. Let him know in big and small ways that he’s important to you.
3. Plus, purposefully try to listen to his feelings—even when you disagree with him.
4. Show interest in his friends, giving him some time with them (if they’re trust-worthy.)
5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey)
6. Make sure you tell him you love him AND that you like him.
7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely. (D Ramsey)
8. It’s important to protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9. When confronting him, realize he has feelings also.
10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.
Other Suggestions:
11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion. And then give him time to adjust.
12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems. Have FUN!
13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of continually focusing on the negatives.
14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
15. Give him special time with you apart from the children.
16. Ease into the negatives when he first gets home.
17. Give him time to unwind after he gets home from work. Your evenings will be more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey)
18. Don’t allow family members to treat him disrespectfully. Defend him to anyone that dishonors his place as your husband.
19. Look for things you can compliment about your husband. Show your appreciation often.
More Ways to Show Love:
20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
21. Talk with him about having specific family goals to achieve together as a marital team.
22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.
24. Find ways to show him you need him.
25. Give him time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect at other times.)
26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.
27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk about him. Love protects (1 Cor. 13:7).
28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.
29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.
Other Ideas:
30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk (schedule it when necessary).
31. Initiate going out on romantic outings.
32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him.
33. Surprise him with a fun gift that he’d really enjoy.
34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.
35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is.
36. Talk in loving, not in nagging or belittling ways.
37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head at home (without “lording” it over him).
38. Reserve some energy for him so you’re not so tired when he wants you sexually.
39. Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.
40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life.
Remember, all of these “ways to love” are only suggestions:
41. Take special notice of what he does for you and the family.
42. Brag about him to other people in front of him and when he’s not there.
43. Keep conversations brief when he’s tired—so he isn’t “flooded” by too many words.
44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
45. Honor him in front of the children (differ in private when necessary).
46. “Look into your husband’s eyes when he talks to you. This makes him feel that you’re interested.” (J. Clain)
47. Get up with him, and pray with him to start your day together.
48. Be his “help-mate” in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
49. Participate in shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk.
50. Be a student of his ways so you show your love in ways he best comprehends it.
Plus, here are More Suggestions of Ways to Show Love:
51. When your husband is in a bad mood give him time and space to recover.
52. You can bless him by helping him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education.
53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: “Handle With Care.”
54. Work to get rid of your own habits that annoy him.
55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don’t make him choose between you.
56. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank him for things he has done around the house. We all want to feel appreciated.
58. Don’t expect credit for all you do for him. Do these things as “unto the Lord.”
59. Make sure he agrees with everything important that you’re planning to do.
60. Do little things for him. This may include letting him sleep in, bringing him coffee, etc.
61. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.
Want more suggestions? Read on…
62. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.
63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to “work” at home.
64. Get to the point in your discussions. Spare him details unless he wants them.
65. Discover his sexual needs (as long as they do not violate God’s ways).
66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.
67. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out at a group function.
68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he mis-speaks.
69. Don’t quarrel over words.
70. Be kind and courteous with him. (Don’t be kinder to strangers than to him.)
More Suggestions to Consider:
71. When things go wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better.
72. As a kindness, don’t say, “I told you so.”
73. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.
74. Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.
75. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public.
76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones.
77. Tell him you love him more often.
78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.
79. Sit with him while he’s watching TV—even if the program doesn’t interest you.
Here are the Last 20 SUGGESTIONS… Keep Gleaning:
80. Don’t expect him to read your mind (despite your thinking he should— extend grace).
81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone.
82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff, when possible.
83. Put effort in to keep yourself in good shape so he’s especially proud to be with you.
84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words. Remember to “speak the truth in LOVE.”
86. Don’t criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity in tact.
87. Visit his childhood home with him.
88. When you’re angry, express it in respectful ways. Don’t give the silent treatment.
89. Pray for him.
90. Make him homemade soup when he’s sick.
Other Suggestions:
91. Look your best—dress to honor and make him proud to be seen with you when you’re out together.
92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer leader.
93. Don’t disagree with him in front of the children.
94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.
95. Cheer his successes whether in it’s related to business or other areas of everyday living.
96. Graciously teach him how to demonstrate his love for you.
97. Give him coupons to redeem. They could be for a back scratch or a shoulder rub, etc.
98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet.
99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.
100. Thank him for just being himself.
The author is unknown, for the list of “100 Ways.”
— ALSO —
In addition, below are links to other web site articles centering on this subject. We encourage you to glean through them, and apply what you believe will work for both of you:
• 50 IDEAS TO INSPIRE YOUR HUSBAND
• 50 THINGS TO SAY TO YOUR HUSBAND TO MAKE HIM FEEL GREAT
Filed under: Romantic Ideas
Amazing tips… this will be useful for the ladies to lead their life in a success and happy manner… salute.
Thank you for such wise words. I have truly learned.
Guys, this is just a good way of learning how best we can treat or husbands. I really appreciate this for I have learnt a lot. You tend to even realize most of the things you were failing to do for your husband. If you check closely though, it is meant for us women. It can also be used by our husbands on how best they can treat us. Thanks a lot.
I agree.
I read BOTH lists (this one and for the wives) and I realised we have so much work ahead of us! I, too, am the so-called ‘bread winner’ in our marriage (for language reasons) and also a student. I can use many of these suggestions (that I have not been doing) to make things easier for my husband. I will show him this list, encourage discussion then show him and translate the Wives list.
I hope this will help us grow closer together in Christ, as our mighty Creator of the Universe intended. Please pray for my awesomely wonderful husband and I. YHWH will know who you are praying for. Oh, and thank you for these guidelines and prompts. God bless you.
I see some things I am doing right and those I too need to pay attention to. This is such a helpful list. My husband is worth it. I believe God led me to this web page when I asked God to show me ways to Love my husband.
Love your 100 ways to loving your husband. Keep up the good work God bless
This is so awesome, I was actually showing my husband ways that he can be a better husband hahahahaha and then I found the list on how to sho. your husband you love him his way… Shux I have a few things I need to work on- lol what I thought was for him has turned out to be for me just as much :-) Awesome tool. Thank You.
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My husband and I both work so we share everything, whether it be helping with homework or cooking, but after 10 years some of these techniques just don’t work. So we have found a common ground for everything and either make a decision together or support the other while they work their issues out. But the main thing we use is communication and support to get our family through whatever it is that they need help with.
Thank you and may God bless you exceedingly, abundantly above all you may ask or think. This wisdom has blessed me today. Thank you for the light you have shared so that we may continue on a path that reflects the love God has for us.
Read both lists. Men’s says let women spend time with her friends. Women’s says let men spend time with their friends, “if they’re trustworthy”. Really??
Thank you for pointing that out… we have made the appropriate changes. We appreciate you letting us know.
#101. Ladies, stop keeping a scorecard of everything your husband has said and done wrong, and stop reminding him of it on a regular basis. God gives us a new day every 24 hours. If He can forgive us and let us start anew every day, then please let your marriages build on the good and positive notes. This goes along with not using the words “always” and “never” when you preface a statement. Husbands are really not that complicated. May His peace be with us all.
SO true! Thanks for sharing this. It’s an important point.
It’s taken me 22 years to figure these things out. Act on these suggestions and watch your marriage transform! The best part is that your husband will reciprocate. Be patient. It won’t happen overnight, especially if you have a history of approaching your husband with negativity. Unlearning takes time and consistency. May the Lord bless your journey!
I think you have such great information and you will help a lot of people to get closer to the love of their life. Someday I will be married and I will be able to use this website. Be blessed. Still just dating.
All of what you have said is a blessing. Being a husband I feel this is exactly what I need to feel appreciated. I would love it if my wife would give me the feeling of being a God grace to her. Personally I do all it takes to make this happen. Marriage is a challenge and we both should work on it together… With love and respect all is possible. Thanks for the hope you gave to me.
Number 4. The husband can have time with his own friends If they are trustworthy?
I would have thought the husband would have already decided about his friends trustworthiness otherwise they wouldn’t be his friend. Or did you mean the husband’s trustworthiness?
Lois, you would be surprised concerning how many emails we receive, and comments we have posted on this web site where the husband (or wife) have friends that are anything but trustworthy. And yet they still hang around with them, even though they cause problems. Go figure! As a result, these friends have a horrible influence on this spouse. It’s so very sad, and shouldn’t be, but just because they appear to be a “friend” it doesn’t mean that they are a friend to the marriage. So, for that reason, the wife certainly wouldn’t want to encourage her husband to hang out with those types of friends.