The strength of your marriage depends on the choices you make to improve it. Unfortunately, many couples have lost the spark they shared before they married. Instead, it has been replaced with a humdrum routine. Dating and romancing your spouse can change those patterns, and can be a lot of fun. But it will require some hard work. Planning and energy are imperative for making romantic things happen.
Is it worth the trouble? I’m convinced that the lack of dating and romance in marriage is one of the major causes of broken relationships. Marriages usually don’t collapse overnight. They become bankrupt gradually because they lack daily deposits of love, communication and affirmation.
[Below are a number of ideas that could help you in your romantic expression with each other.] A few of these ideas may be too outrageous for your style. That’s okay. Read the ideas, shake your head in wonder, and mutter, “Some people are really bizarre.” I developed this list with the hope that each couple would add to or subtract from it in order to meet their individual ideas. You may find the outrageous ideas are helpful in stretching your imagination and pushing you toward becoming more creative.
Now—for the ideas! Here they are:
1. Sketch your dream-house floor plan and talk about the possibilities.
2. Take a bath or shower together.
3. Write the love story of how you met. Get it printed and bound.
4. List your spouse’s best qualities in alphabetical order.
5. Tour a museum or an art gallery.
6. Park in a secluded area and kiss in your car.
7. Make your own movie scene—stop and kiss on a bridge as the sun is setting.
8. Place emphasis on the little changes she makes concerning her appearance.
9. Give your wife a bath and wash her hair.
10. Float on a raft together.
11. Take a stroll around the block.
12. While your wife is cooking, “sauté” her with kisses.
13. Bring home foods she loves to eat but won’t buy for herself. (Don’t do this if she’s dieting!)
14. Give each other a back rub.
Other Suggestions for Romantic Things You Could Do:
15. Rent a classic love-story and watch it while cuddling under blankets.
16. Give your spouse a body massage.
17. Walk through model homes and dream about your next house. Steal a kiss in a closet.
18. Stroll around a nearby lake.
19. Sit in front of the fireplace and talk.
20. Read to one another in bed.
21. Take a horse-drawn carriage ride.
22. Turn the lights down during dinner.
23. Make a surprise call to your spouse while you’re out of town (in addition to your scheduled calls).
24. Play music in your bedroom.
25. Go swimming in the middle of the night.
26. Shave your wife’s legs.
27. Shave your husband’s face.
28. Write a poem for your spouse.
29. Run through the sprinklers on a hot day.
30. Remember to look into your spouse’s eyes while she tells you about her day.
Also:
31. Make up nicknames for each other.
32. Go the extra mile to please your mate.
33. When you’re the one who’s correct during a discussion, give your spouse a kiss. Focus on your love rather than who’s right.
34. Tell your spouse, “I’m glad I married you!”
35. Fulfill one of your spouse’s fantasies.
36. Hug your spouse from behind and give a kiss on the back of the neck.
37. Stop in the middle of your day and talk to your spouse for 15 minutes.
38. Create your own special holiday.
39. Place your hand on your spouse’s leg when you’re riding in the car.
40. Send your wife a compliment through one of her friends.
41. Ask for an isolated booth in a restaurant.
42. Become your spouse’s cheerleader when she’s had a terrible day.
43. Tell your wife, “I love you because…” (Finish the sentence.)
Plus:
44. Show your wife affection while she’s talking to a friend.
45. Sleep in a sleeping bag together.
46. Do something your spouse loves to do, even though it doesn’t interest you personally.
47. Go horseback riding on the same horse.
48. Photocopy a cartoon and write your own romantic caption.
49. Write out romantic notes and leave them in places your spouse will find them.
50. Cut out romantic photos from magazines and write your own messages on them.
51. While driving, pull over for scenic sights and get out of the car to enjoy God’s creation.
52. Write your spouse affirming love letters.
53. Mail your spouse love letters instead of leaving them in the house.
54. Feed ducks together (you can feed any type of animal as long as it’s not a house pet—the idea is to get outside together).
55. Build a snowman together.
Additional Suggestions:
56. Watch the sun come up or go down.
57. Go fishing together with only one pole.
58. Sit on the same side of a restaurant booth.
59. Spontaneously spend the entire day together away from the house.
60. Picnic by a pond.
61. Give your mate a foot massage.
62. Put on perfume or after-shave before going out.
63. Go Skinny-dipping.
64. Develop a code word for sex to use when you’re a part of a crowd.
65. Buy your spouse a new outfit.
66. Sing a song to your spouse.
67. Let go of helium balloons and watch them rise out of sight.
68. Buy her a stuffed animal.
69. Write “I love you” in the dust around the house instead of complaining about it.
70. Set up a surprise manicure, or spa appointment for your spouse.
71. Put together a puzzle on a rainy night.
More Ideas to Consider:
72. Read a romance novel together.
73. Rent a boat.
74. Take a train ride.
75. Ride bikes in the rain.
76. Read poetry to one another.
77. Build sand castles on the beach
78.Take a moonlight canoe ride.
79. Make your spouse a greeting card.
80. Swing together on a playground.
81. Go for a midnight dip in a hot tub.
82. Give your wife a balloon bouquet.
83. Plant a tree together in honor of your marriage.
84. Make heart-shaped pancakes and serve them to your wife in bed.
85. Bring home flowers.
86. Surprise your wife when she’s busy by saying, “What can I do to help?”
87. Take a hot-air balloon ride.
88. Walk through a housing construction site and kiss each other in each of the houses.
89. Count the stars.
In Addition, You Can:
90. Prior to a “work day” at home, hide gifts for your spouse in places where they’ll find them.
91. Bring a late-night snack and drink to bed.
92. Order different kinds of food at a restaurant.
93. Whisper something romantic to your spouse in a crowded room.
94. Have a candlelight picnic in the backyard.
95. Play tennis at night under a full moon using no lights.
96. Develop a weekly dining spot to meet for lunch.
97. Share a long piece of licorice without using your hands.
98. Make cookies by candlelight.
99. Unscrew the table-light bulb at your restaurant booth to dim the lights.
100. Put perfume on your bed sheets.
101. Leave encouraging notes for your spouse that he will find at different times through the week.
102. Put on old clothes and go out and play in the mud together and then shower together.
More Ideas:
103. Hold hands while roller skating.
104. Write out 50 reasons you’re glad to be married to your spouse.
105. Tickle-wrestle in bed.
106. Go on a walk together and pick flowers.
107. Put an “I Love You!” message in her lunch.
108. Place a rose on her pillow.
109. Set candles above the bed (carefully!).
110. Serve breakfast in bed.
111. Hide small gifts that your spouse will find throughout the week.
112. Sit and listen carefully to one another.
113. Tuck your wife into bed, read her a goodnight story (or scripture) and kiss her on the forehead.
114. Remember how you used to laugh at things he thought were funny? Do it again.
115. Write a song for your spouse.
Other Ideas For You:
116. Go for a walk barefoot.
117. Go kite flying.
118. Splash each other.
119. Spend an entire day in the “middle of nowhere.”
120. Dance in your candlelit living room.
121. Walk on the beach.
122. Play a board game by the fire.
123. Reminisce through old photo albums.
124. Go away for the weekend.
125. Go for a moonlit walk down a street of beautiful homes.
Additional Suggestions:
126. Rub feet under the table.
127. Kiss in crowded area.
128. Sit on his lap even when there’s sitting room elsewhere.
129. Surprise your spouse with an ice-cold drink while he/she is working on a hot day.
130. Kiss in the rain.
131. Join him, unexpectedly, in the shower.
132. Mail a love letter to your spouse’s place of work.
133. Create a trail through your home with a string leading your mate to a gift you have for them.
134. Buy your husband a negligee that you know you’ll look great in.
135. Brush her hair.
136. Ride a carousel or a merry-go-round.
137. Take a bike ride—on the same bike.
138. Hug while you roll down a hill (if you want to do this again you’d better choose a grassy hill).
139. Leave teasing notes around the house to create an atmosphere of anticipation.
And/Or You Could:
140. Use a tender-touch as you pass one another around the house.
141. Share a milk shake with two straws.
142. Take the phone off the hook, turn off the TV, turn down the lights and kiss on the floor.
143. Put fresh flowers in front of her bathroom sink and write a love note with lipstick on the mirror.
144. Dedicate a song to her over the radio.
145. Break away from the chaos of the family long enough to share an intimate conversation.
146. Wink and smile at your spouse from across the room.
147. Kiss your spouse’s fingers.
148. Celebrate for no reason.
149. Leave a photo of yourself on his dashboard.
150. Give your husband a manicure.
Additional Romantic Tips:
151. Using plastic cups, create your own miniature golf course by placing the cups in different locations around the house and have fun creatively playing the game together.
152. Fill your bed with rose petals.
153. Play strip canasta.
154. Remember something she thinks you’ve forgotten.
155. Stand together in front of a lake and watch your reflections.
156. Hug for an extended period of time.
157. Leave your lip-prints on a note.
158. Sit in front of the window during a rainstorm.
159. Do something together to help someone else.
160. Take a fun class together.
161. Go rock-skipping.
162. Ride a bicycle-built-for-two.
163. Fall asleep holding each other.
You Could Also:
164. Draw your spouse a stick figure picture of something romantic.
165. Tell your wife you will take her anywhere she wants to go.
166. Call your husband during the day and remind him of your love for him.
167. Get up some morning and head out in the car together without planning one single thing.
168. Have a hot bubble-bath ready for her when she comes home from a hard day.
169. Ask your spouse, “What can I do to make you happier?”
170. Buy new satin sheets.
171. Try to go away for the weekend and spend only $20.
172. Break your after-dinner routine and go sightseeing.
173. Mail a love letter to your spouse’s place of work.
174. Reminisce about your first kiss or your first date.
175. Drop everything and do something for the one you love—right now!
This article comes from the book, “Creative Romance… Hundreds of Ways to Say, ‘I Love You’ and Much More.” It is written by Doug Fields, and is published by Harvest House Publishers. Unfortunately, this book is no longer being printed. Hopefully you can find a copy of it at a used book store or elsewhere. As Doug says, “Super romance isn’t just for Hollywood. Now every man or woman who wants to be more romantic can be! And this article (and the book, if you can find a way to obtain it) can help you in this venture.
Filed under: Romantic Ideas
(USA) This is what happens when people have too much time on their hands.
(USA) What happens Allen, two people live in a happy marriage full of romance and love for each other simply because they read this list and did a few of the items on here? If that is the result of having too much time on someone’s hands then I say thank God they did!
(IRELAND) Too much time for their spouse??? Ok some of these require time out but a lot of them are just small gestures that can really make all the difference…
(USA) I feel bad for any person you date. God help them.
(USA) Love it!
(ROMANIA) Great!
(USA) Most of these are what a husband can do for his wife to make it romantic. I’d like to see a list of what a wife can do to spice things up a bit. It’s not always our responsibility to make things romantic, but it seems like it is expected of us.
(USA) The vast majority of these are not specific to either the male or the female. Besides, whatever you give a woman, she’s going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So – if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton more of it. (I don’t know who said this originally, but it is very true).
(NIGERIA) I love that. You know naturally women give love, so if you want a multiply of their natural love, show them care and love by applying these principles and you will see yourself dancing the music that Angels sing.
(USA) It’s too bad they don’t naturally give that love to their husbands.
If I accept that women naturally give love, and I’m hesitant to do so, but let’s assume it’s true. There is still no guarantee that her husband will be the primary recipient of that love. It may be his children or her lover who gets the bulk of her love.
Rules like this, while they sound nice, are seldom true.
If your wife isn’t giving you the love you think you deserve you need to look at how you are treating her. Try some of the suggested things and see what happens. What do you have to lose?
(USA) I beg to differ. I gave my ex-wife love, she gave me betrayal. I gave her a house, she left it and had an affair. I gave her my sperm, she took custody of our child so she could afford to continue her affair. I gave her the treadmill and gym membership she asked for, she didn’t use them until she was having her affair and wanted to look good for the other man. I gave her groceries and she ran up debt eating out. I gave her my smile, she gave me the finger. I gave her compliments, she ran and hid.
Basically, she turned that little saying upside down and the one who got hurt was me, not her. It is NOT true at all in my experience.
(USA) It goes back to what I said earlier, you must find a suitable mate that has good fruits and not bad fruits, if she comes from trees that are rotten and infested with parasites, then use common sense; don’t taste the fruit and never eat it! We sometimes pick the wrong fruits and therefore we end up with a “fruitcake” of a person and not a sweet healthy fruit of the spirit type of person. Sound like she was not Christ-centered and she was a self-centered person. You will know them by there fruits.
(KENYA) It’s good you finally realize what is expected of the men. It works like a trigger, you do a few of these small gestures, she will feel loved and the returns will overwhelm you. It’s about the woman feeling secure and loved and respected and appreciated and she will reciprocate in a big way.
(ZIMBABAWE, AFRICA) Great resources.
(AUSTRALIA) It is great that you have put such time and effort to provide some ideas, I will add your site as a reference site to my blog link “Christian Marriage Resources” http://christianfindings.blogspot.com/p/resource-links.html
(USA) I noticed some of the comments consider this list to be too much. But just think about it if you had to write a list of 100 wonderful little things and moments you have done for your spouse, could you do it? I found all too often people are negative but they do the opposite. In their minds they write a list of everything the person has done wrong to them.
The key is to re-arrange your thinking. Many of us don’t realize it that these things don’t have to done in one day, but rather a little day by day. How hard it is to say, I love you, when your spouse comes into your presence? How hard it is to call your spouse when you’re at your business just for a 15 minute warm talk, or bring home their favorite take out food, or sit in the living room playing love music and a board game on the floor, or rather yet watch a romantic movies and share some moments of quality time together?
Heck, you don’t even need to talk while you watching the movie, hug and kiss each other. How hard it is to cook breakfast in bed and share some warm quality time together? How hard it is to get up from the dinner table and go out for a walk around the block or drive to a fast food joint and order 2 dollar menu ice creams, sit together and pray a 1 minute prayer and talk intimate to each? Let each other know you love them. For heaven’s sake, get yourself a planner, note it down if you have a hard time doing this. I guarantee you, if someone was to pay you $20 an hour to be an escort, you’d work it like a pro. Would you not?
Well, just think about it, every hour you spend with your spouse is worth more than you will make in this life. It is priceless. And if you can’t master these child-play solutions, well, you’re going to need to meditate and visualize yourself doing many of these romantic solutions, and then write them down in a journal in a creative way. This is how you start to rearrange your thinking. Get out of the negative mode!!!
(SOUTH AFRICA) Calvin, love your answer. If God is in your marriage everything else falls into place. If you are perfect don’t think everybody else is. We all have flaws but work on them and appreciate life. Everyday with the person you love is a gift from God.
(INDIA) Wow… These ideas are great. I am surely gonna try them.
(UNITED STATES) When GOD and his ways are included in your marriage you can never do enough for your spouse. This is what our Lord wants from us: to put other people’s feelings before our own and hopefully the spouse wants the same and puts our feelings first! It should be a happy medium if we both see the same of the LORD! It makes me very happy to know that I make my husband happy and even happier to know that I am submitting myself to my LORD!
I can do all of that without religion.
(USA) At 57 we tend to forget the wonderful things about our spouse. I am going to try some of these ideas. Hoping I will get the caring and love I want in return.
I’m working in another state and need romantic ideas other than calls, flowers. I want her to know how much I love and miss her but not send trivial gifts. Ideas?
Hi Mark. There’s no doubt that you have a challenge on your hands. But it IS possible to find some good ways to connect and be romantic at times, despite the miles separating you. I’ll be looking for additional articles to post, but in the meantime, please go to the article found at: http://host.agencysrvr.com/~marriage/staying-connected-when-your-spouse-is-away/. And after you glean through that article and the ones linked to within it, scroll down to the feature we offer where it says “Tagged With.” You will find additional articles posted in those linked tags. Some of the will be for military spouses and missionary couples, but even with those, you can glean through the information and see if there are tips posted within those that you can use and/or even adapt for your marital challenge of being geographically challenged. I hope they help!
I need more romantic words and will be reading to advise myself or to satisfy my love whom the families are trying to separate from me.
I love these idea …perfect. You are appreciated for your wisdom and sensitivity. Thanks.
Thank you Grace. We pray they are a blessing and will give you ideas you can use. :)
Greetings, Long story short my hubby and I have had a rough six months, he works out of town a lot but due to some of my own health issues, I come home for weeks at a time now, our conversations don’t go well or we miss calls and texts and there’s a few trust issues I guess. I’m leaving to go be with him again for at least 3 weeks, I want it to change our lifestyle and marriage. Any hints, besides the obvious? PRAYER, will be greatly appreciated! Thank You.
Kind Regards.
Try saying I am going to refuse to argue with you today. Let’s just relax and try to never a nice time ok?