School teachers know the first two weeks of school set the tone of the classroom for the rest of the year. Likewise, newlyweds need to establish healthy patterns of behavior at the outset of their marriage. Here are six ways to give your marriage a positive beginning.
As Newlyweds:
Practice Patience
I wanted everything to be done just right when Selma and I first married. In essence, I tried to microwave our marriage development. But fulfillment, trust, and joy are best built over time. The intimacy God wants for a married couple can only mature over time. Cook your marriage in a Crock-Pot —slowly, with low heat!
Don’t Expect Perfection
No one has ever played the marriage game perfectly. In spite of that sobering fact, God does allow us to participate in this wonderful institution. As God shows you His grace, extend grace to your mate and to yourself when needed. This means offering forgiveness as well as seeking forgiveness. Offering forgiveness says you recognize and accept that your mate’s not perfect. Seeking forgiveness acknowledges you’re not perfect either.
As Newlyweds: Approach Finances Proactively
Good financial practices don’t happen by default. Talk about finances, and establish a financial plan. Avoid going into immediate debt. Alleviate stress at the outset of your marriage by maintaining a conservative approach toward money. Too much debt, too little money, and too little conversation about finances add up to conflict and marital strain.
Affirm Your Mate Daily
Commit to give a genuine compliment daily, and see what it does to your relationship. A word of caution: A daily compliment sounds good, but the challenge comes when you get to day 17 and think: “OK, I’ve got to think of another way to affirm him.” That’s when you pray, “Lord, open my eyes today to the mate You have given me. Show me how You want me to affirm him today.” Then watch God reveal to you the wonders of your mate.
When practiced daily, affirmation will transform your marriage. You’ll see the positive more than the negative. A positive spirit and warm support are like daily deposits into your marriage account.
Talk About Your Sex Life as Newlyweds
Although our world talks, sings, and shouts about sex, this topic is one of the most neglected in marriages. These conversations open up a deeper level of vulnerability. While your marriage is fresh, take a healthy step to discuss sex. Share your likes and dislikes. Then share together how this part of your marriage could be better.
Almost every marriage has room for improvement in this area, so don’t get defensive when your mate has a suggestion. Make sexual fulfillment an ongoing discussion. Get comfortable talking about your sexual relationship; it will be easier to discuss adjustments and improvements as the years go by.
Pray for Your Mate Daily
Ask your mate how you can pray for him or her. This simple daily ritual bonds me with Selma and strengthens our relationship. It solidifies our belief in God’s love and care, and it confirms we care enough about each other to take our concerns to the Almighty.
This article is shared with us courtesy of HomeLife Magazine and was originally posted on the Lifeway.com web site. It is written by Rodney and Selma Wilson who are authors and speakers on marriage and family.