The following are true forgiveness testimonies of those who have struggled with bitterness and forgiveness in marriage. Some of these linked testimonies are provided in written form. Others are links to video testimonials that you can watch. We hope you will take advantage of all that is provided here.
We truly believe you will gain insight through what these spouses have to say. They have walked the walk. And they are now feeling a new found freedom apart from the imprisonment of bitterness. We hope their testimonies help you to get to that same sense of God-given freedom.
Prayerfully you will find hope through reading and viewing what they have lived through and learned through as we pass this along to you. Please prayerfully read:
Bitterness and Forgiveness Testimonies:
• FORGIVING YOUR SPOUSE AFTER ADULTERY
Plus:
• THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS IN MARRIAGE
Also:
And:
• VIDEO: Solitude Gives Wife the Strength to Forgive
• VIDEO: Scorned Wife Holds Unfaithful Husband’s Life in Her Hands
Additionally:
• AL AND LISA ROBERTSON: ‘Forgiveness Changed Everything’
If God has given you a testimony, a personal experience you have lived through, one that could help and encourage others as they deal with bitterness and forgiveness within marriage, we would appreciate it if you would write it down and send it to us. Even if what you have to write isn’t very long in length, it could still be helpful.
Please share your testimony with us by going to the ABOUT US section. Click on “Contact Us” and then type it out for us there.
If you want to remain anonymous, please let us know. We will not to reveal your name and the name(s) of your loved ones if that is your wish. Our aim is to encourage others, not to embarrass anyone.
Thanks so much!
WE APPRECIATE YOU!!!
(SOUTH AFRICA) DEALING WITH FORGIVENESS IN MARRIAGE. GETTING COUNSELING BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED IS IMPORTANT AND ALSO PRAYER IN MARRIAGE.
(USA) Thank you Lord Jesus for love and forgiveness.
(UNITED STATES) I don’t understand the concept of forgivness.
(USA) Mary, Keep praying and reading and seeking God’s heart on this. Eventually you will be able to understand more than you do now. No human being can entirely understand forgiveness — it’s a God-thing. But we must participate in it to the point that God asks or we will be imprisoned by its sinister repercussions, initiated by the enemy of our faith.
Since your Father in Heaven and Lord Jesus forgives thousands and thousand of your sins, you are here alive. It is because of the abundant mercy of the Lord. Since you are a child of God, be like him. Merciful. Then you also will receive mercy.
(NEW ZEALAND) I have found it easier to forgive my husband of his affair than I have the other woman. It is an ongoing process to walk in forgiveness toward her but I know it is something that I need to do because our God requires that of us. If He can forgive those who persecuted Him and hung Him on the cross to die a hideous death, then it puts things in perspective for me. He certainly knows what He is talking about when He commands us to love our enemies (Matt 5:43-48 & Luke 6:27-36). I know this is something I cannot do in my own strength but only with His help can I forgive the other woman fully.
I find that keeping transparent before God,in constant communication with Him about my struggle in this area and having a genuine desire to love the other woman,has helped me in this process of forgiveness. God has brought me such a long way already but I still have a way to go yet. I went to drop off one of my children at the other woman’s house the other evening and for the first time I actually went right up to the front door. I normally just wait in the car and my husband comes out. I had intended to greet her at the door with a smile and a hello, but I failed to do this. I looked at the positives from this incident and know that there will be another opportunity and I am praying that God would have done a work in my heart to the point of being able to be polite and greet her properly. I am so ever thankful that my God loves me right where I am at and He is helping me to progress forward in Him. I WILL, walk in total forgiveness for the other woman as I continue to allow God to work in my life! AMEN!
My heart goes out to you! Prayers.
(USA) Since my husband started travelling for business about 7 years ago he began to drink, eventually every night. Then after work on Friday’s he would go to a bar with friends. One night about 3 years ago he came late home drunk and puking. I threw a fit and accussed him of being with someone else. He told me he would stop going to the bar (which he did)….he had done nothing wrong and he was with no one else. He also said he would stop travelling. But, if I did not stop accusing, he would leave me.
About 3 months later he started travelling again. (Miami, this time) He has literally traveled all over the world. Then in 2011, he went to Miami over spring break. I called him on his last night there. It was obvious he was drunk. When he came home the next day he was still hungover. I went through his wallet and found receipts to places he should have never been. Not strip clubs, but close. (These places are suppossedly not like the websites or their facebook pages.)
At first his response was “I never thought I’d get caught” Then…”it wasn’t that bad, married couples were there” I said stop drinking, I can’t do this any more. At first, he didn’t. Soon, he repented. But now, I find myself on anti-depressants and angry, crying or sad most of the time. I do not trust him. I do not trust what he has (or hasn’t done) on these trips.
This is a Christian man that lived like he wanted to for 6 years. When I tried to talk about it I got shut down. Now that he has finally stopped drinking, I finally allowed myself to feel the pain, rejection, distrust and hurt I had been denying. As we are close to the anniversary of when it all blew up, I found myself coming close to booking a trip to Miami for spring break this year, to see what these places are really like.
He has changed, but I am still having a difficult time. We have been married for 30 years. Should I go to Miami? I don’t know if I want to reassure myself that he “is” telling the truth, or punish him. Part of me thinks if I go, it will put and end to my suspicions. Another part thinks I just want him to feel part of the pain I have felt. I really do love him, I just can’t seem to completely trust him again, or get past the pain and not knowing for sure.(:
Becky, Don’t go to Miami. Your God-given instincts are good. You know he went to places he shouldn’t have. He does too. You don’t have to go further than that. You confronted him, God convicted his heart that the actions were wrong, and he made the decision to stop. That’s a decision many men (and women) don’t follow through with. I hope he sticks to it. And I hope you can fight the temptation to go places, which will only add to the problems.
You’re wise to not “completely trust him again.” You need to be wise and observant. But lets face it; nothing is “for sure.” I realize that some are less sure than others. But I have a feeling you have a good guy there –deep down. I’m not sure why, because I don’t know him. I just sense this. Be careful though, in how much you trust and how deeply you allow your anger to take you. Sometimes our anger can get the best of us and take us in destructive directions –we can wipe out the good in dealing with pain in unhealthy ways. You have a lot to process. None of this is easy. He needs to know that he DEEPLY damaged your heart. Sit down and talk at a non-combative time –more than once if needed (which is probable).
I hope that you can eventually work through the pain so that your future isn’t poisoned by the past. You can both invest in working on your relationship so your future can be brighter, if you put intentionality into it. It may seem mechanical and most difficult in the beginning, but anything of any value takes work to obtain it –especially in the beginning. If you “really do love him” then fight FOR your marriage and ask him to join you in the fight –not against each other, but fight FOR your marriage, FOR your relationship. Your marital intimacy has been disrupted and disrupted badly. It needs to be rebuilt and then protected afterward so it isn’t as likely to go in a bad direction again.
Gary and Mona Shriver in their book titled “Unfaithful” wrote, “The fact is that very few of us start out to disrupt marital intimacy. Sometimes we simply fail to establish it. Sometimes we fail to maintain it. More often we fail to protect it. ‘It just happened’ is a common explanation for adultery [what your husband did was participate in a type of adultery of the mind in entertaining his lust of the eyes]. And it also exposes how little we understand the steps that got us there. When we have unresolved issues in the marriage, we make it easier to ‘just happen,’ and when we don’t have appropriate hedges in place we invite it to happen. … You have to admit your vulnerability before you can recognize the need for protective measures. Safety glasses were created because someone got hurt. Don’t let that someone be you or your spouse.”
Unfortunately, you got hurt already. But you don’t have to continue to get hurt in the future. God is all about redemption and reconciliation. I hope that the two of you can work on your marriage so that this pain does not go wasted, but rather is redeemed and used to reconcile you both together even closer than ever before. You both have difficult choices to decide upon and act upon to make that happen. I hope you can and I hope and pray for the strength for you so you will. Our web site is filled with articles and recommended resources to help. Look for what went wrong –both of you need to be honest. And the look for what you can do to prevent that from being a problem in the future. Again, I hope you will. My prayers are with you Becky. So sorry for the pain… I pray the future will be brighter eventually.
(UNITED STATES) Me and my husband are born again believers. I submitted my life to the Lord a long time ago after a long, miserable life of partying, drinking, and dealing with the pain of an abusive father. My husband gave his to the Lord around the same time (before we ever met) after a hard life of severe drug addiction. The Lord set us free from our old lives, and we were sincerely in love with Jesus when we met 4 and a half years ago. We got involved with churches together, telling everyone about the transformation that God had done in our lives, and praising God for his mercy and forgiveness in both of our lives.
About a year ago, my husband started acting different. It was a subtle change, and I didn’t think much of it. But it was definitley noticeable. He started spending time with a couple of his “old” friends, and talking filthy. I continued to pray for him and ask God to use me as an instrument of open-heartedness and love. Deep down, I felt like I knew what was going on, though. About a month after all of this started, some of my jewelry came up missing (my pearls, rings, diamond necklace) and I knew he had something to do with it. When I asked him about it, he broke down and told me everything. He told me he had taken the stuff that week to the local pawn shop and sold it for $180 so that he could get drugs.
The same night I found out he had taken my jewelry and sold it, I found some drug paraphenelia under the sink in our guest bathroom. I was horrified. I didn’t know what to do. I immediatley broke down, fell on the floor, and screamed out in shock. Everything inside of me hurt. He had stolen my jewelry, to buy drugs, to use it in our house. I went in the living room where he was and started hitting him and yelling at him. I was so hurt, angry and shocked all at the same time.
He stayed at his mom’s that night, and we didn’t see eachother or speak for about a week. When I saw him again, he had bought every piece of jewelry back from the lady, for more than what he sold it for. He started going to a local clinic for help, and graduated from the rehab program there in December of 2011. He’s a totally different man since all of this, but I can’t help but feel angry sometimes. I think about what he did to me, to us, and it brings back the same, stinging pain I felt that night. He re-dedicated his life to the Lord in the Bible-based program he was in, and we asked each other forgiveness.
I don’t know why I still deal with this though. I want so bad to let it go, and never think about it again, but just when I think I can’t remember it anymore, it comes back. I feel like I can’t entirely trust him. He’s my husband, and I want to feel safe and feel like I can really, sincerely trust him again, but I don’t know how. Advice and prayer is needed, please, from some Godly and forgiving sisters-in-Christ out there. God bless
(USA) I need help to know how to forgive someone I used to love (my spouse). I have been married for 18 years and my husband has cheated on me twice already. The most recent one was pretty close to marking our 19 years marriage. I have never felt so betrayed in my life. Both times I had to be treated for STD because of the women that he slept with. I have so much anger that I wanted to get revenge by sleeping with somebody else as well; so much madness that I do not want to see his face nor hear his voice to the point that I want a divorce, and feeling dirty about him since he gave me STD. I need lots of prayer and I am wishing to have the Holy Spirit cleanse my mind, my heart, and my body. I am afraid that it’s going to take some time before I forgive but cannot forget what he did to me. Please pray for me.
What if it is Aids next time? You are endangering your health by staying there.
(USA) I really want to encourage Marsha that she immerse herself in scripture. Please start by reading 1 Corinthians 13:1-8. Please believe love never fails. We have an enemy that is ripping marriages apart left and right and the greatest weapon against that enemy is love. Another thing that is helpful when going through those verses is putting in the name of Jesus in place of love. Love never fails. Jesus never fails. I pray that God open your heart to receive what He has to offer.
This whole thing is not easy. Far from it. But we cannot do it alone. And we don’t have to. May the Lord grant you peace and also the determination to become victorious in this battle. Again, the word says love never fails. Also God is Love. God never fails and He will not leave nor forsake you especially if you are walking in obedience to His will.
Secondly, focus on the Lord and His word. A very proactive way to do this is by working through The Love Dare
by Stephen and Alex Kendrick. It is intense and but totally worth it.
(U.S.A.) I have been married 60 years to a man that I thought was the most wonderful husband in the world. We have had many problems due to children with very serious illnesses. He was always there to help me. When we had been married about 12 years he told me he had been unfaithful and was leaving us. He proceed to tell me in great detail about his one night stand with some woman. I was devastated. After about a year of sheer misery he told me it hadn’t happened he “just wanted to hurt me.” I was so happy and believed him.
About a year later he had an emotional affair with a women in his office. We moved and that seemed to be over. I thought the intervening years were wonderful. About a year ago I walked into our office and he was watching porn. My whole world fell apart. In one afternoon I found out he had had an affair but had lied about all the details, has lied to me our whole marriage and has been addicted to porn for years. This from a “supposedly” Christian man who has held a great many jobs in the church. He says he is sorry and wants to “start over” but how do you do this after 60 years of marriage? I am heart broken and terribly angry at the same time!
I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this. I’m praying for you.
I have been married for over 12 years. I have forgiven my husband but what makes it difficult to forget & move on is that the woman he hit on is my adult daughter. He had been lusting after her for years. He felt her up once when she was a teen, I did not report it, we forgave him & worked/prayed thru the trama. My daughter’s forgiveness towards him was a miracle. She grew to love him & treat him as a step-dad but he betrayed it all.
He is very remorseful & repentant, he’s also going to therapy but I’m struggling to not lose my mind. My daughter & I have always been very close & I hope his actions haven’t destroyed our relationship. Staying in this marriage makes me feel guilty like I’m not loving my daughter. He is devastated by his actions & has been open/honest about everything. We have 2 children together and the first reason I stayed is because I didn’t want to disrupt the kids lives. This is the only home & family they have ever known. They cried at the plan of me packing up & leaving their dad. They felt like I was taking everything from them.
My adult daughter is married & doing ok so I made the decision to focus on what was best for my 2 young kids. But where does that leave me? My husband is sorry & I believe him. I forgive him. I can’t help but forgive him because the LORD has forgiven me for so many sins. But how do I go on & how do I keep from causing my daughter pain?
Her husband has told her not to step foot in this house. She hates even the sound of my husband’s voice & I don’t blame her. I don’t even blame her if she starts hating me for staying with him. Her possibly disowning me is what breaks my heart. I’ve cried so much & have been so angry that I feel like I’m losing my mind. I don’t know what to do & all I can do is ask GOD to direct my path & help make sense of all this carnage.
Lupe, What a heart-breaking, difficult situation. As a mom, how my heart goes out to you. As I read what you wrote, what comes to mind as I pray about it, is for you to contact the ministry of Focus on the Family (their web site is focusonthefamily.com). They have counselors on staff that can talk with you and hopefully guide you in ways you may not have considered. Right now, your first consideration is for your children. Your husband’s counselor can help him work through his sin issues, and whatever. But your daughter, above all, needs a mom who shows care and sympathy.
I’m thinking the counselor at Focus on the Family might tell you that your husband needs to pay for counseling for your daughter. Yes, she is married, but she still is understandably traumatized by this whole thing. She needs help. Even if you have to go into debt for it, she needs to know that you will go the extra mile in helping her. It is especially your husband’s responsibility (even though you will also be financially affected by it). The Focus counselor could probably refer you to a good counselor for her. They have a GREAT counseling referral service. The local counselor may even want to have you come in and talk with you and your daughter together at some point… I don’t know.
Also, I believe you should find ways to spend time with your daughter –NOT at your house, but either at hers or elsewhere. Talk, do some mother/daughter things and such, if she is open to it. Let her know that you respect her boundaries, but that you still love her and want to help her in whatever ways you can. If she wants to see the other children, then again, let her decide the location. But above all, lavish love on this daughter. She is horribly confused and conflicted over this whole situation, no doubt. Keep your husband away from her for as long as she and her husband decide.
I have to tell you that this situation happened to me. But it happened with my own dad. I was also a teenager. It was horrible. My mom never found out. I almost told her several times, but didn’t. I handled it alone, which made it harder in some ways, easier in others. Only by the grace of God did I get through it. I had horrible nightmares, and flashbacks, etc. But eventually, I forgave my dad (you’re right about the forgiving part), and we reconciled, even though my dad never told me he was sorry. However, I came to a place of reconciling, but it was on my terms, just as it has to be your daughter’s as far as whether she will ever want to see your husband again. Forgiving and trusting, and seeing each other, are totally different things. Please read through the Quotes in the Bitterness and Forgiveness topic posted on this web site. It may help you.
This whole situation will take time and GREAT effort. It will change the course of your lives forever. Sin can do that. But you CAN come to a better place than you are now. I hope you can get there with your daughter. Please prayerfully consider what I have written. I can’t tell you what to do, but I can sure tell you that your daughter is hurting in ways that no one could ever imagine. I encourage you to do what you can to help her through this painful time. Oh how I wish my mom could have helped me… but because of different circumstances, it just couldn’t happen. I hope you can do this, and hope your daughter can allow it to happen, now or later. It may help her get through this a touch easier. It will still be a painful journey for her, but maybe just a little bit less painful. Please know that my heart goes out to your family. I’m praying for you. May God lead, guide, and help you.