My wife and I have been married for 10 years, divorced for 1 year, and remarried for 4 years. This, of course, is to each other. Ours is a marriage that has been put back together after the divorce.
You may ask, how is it the second time around? It’s absolutely marvelous. We never argue, never say the wrong things to each other, and we are always happy. If only it were so! No, we do argue, and we do miscommunicate with each other. We are not always happy. But that’s all part of having a successful marriage.
First Marriage
In our first marriage God was not a part of it. I rejected God and was the most inconsiderate man that any woman could ever have been married to. I was an alcoholic and a drug addict. Eventually I became a gangster. My wife had to live ten years of absolute hell with me.
She, however, loved me. She told me continually that the reason she stayed with me was because she believed the man that she had met 10 years before would return. Despite all the ways I hurt my wife, she did not divorce me. I left her for a younger girl and divorced her.
It was my six year old daughter who was the one who helped to bring us back together. She had never been into a church, nor did she know much about spiritual things. But one day she found out from her teacher that she should pray for God to bring her daddy back. God answered her prayer.
Lastly, I want to say that if you are having marriage problems and want to get divorced, I don’t recommend it. I believe with God any marriage can be successful. To sum it all up, success in marriage depends how much you are prepared to sacrifice. My precious wife was prepared to sacrifice everything to keep our marriage together. I thank God for her.
This is a true testimony given to us from a subscriber from South Africa.
(USA) My husband filed for divorce in July of 2011. We were separated by August and are officially divorced as of January 9th of this year. He wanted the divorce and he told me that God told him we should get a divorce. We don’t have any children and there wasn’t an affair on either part. He blames me for all the negative things that have happened to him. He told me that he wants to “push the reset button” on his life.
I know I wasn’t the perfect wife, but I’ve loved him with all my heart. We were together for seven years and married for 2 1/2 of those seven. He was even the one that told me, before we got married, that God told him we should get married… now it’s a different story.
I believe that he is (or was) the person I’m supposed to be with and I know everyone has free will, so I can’t change my ex-husband’s mind. I’m so hurt and confused, because deep down, I still believe that God can fix this. I don’t know what to do. I know this is not God’s will.
You’re right Sara, it isn’t God’s will. It’s amazing how we can put our own spin on God’s will for our lives. “When we do wrong, we set in motion a cycle of complications” (Chuck Swindoll). So sorry for this heart-breaking situation. All I can recommend is to work on your own issues, pray, and see if your husband will somehow open his eyes and ears to Truth and the ways in which God can bring positive change when He is allowed to be the one to “push the reset button” FOR marriage, rather than away from it.
(SOUTH AFRICA) Hi, everyone. This is surely the worst pain you can ever have. My heart literally pains! My wife loved me so much. I cannot get my head around this! What did this other man do and say to her? How can she just forget about me? She was a woman with good values. I sometimes think that satan got into her.
The Lord says that no man is allowed to break up a marriage! I’m in so much pain and all I can do is pray that my wife’s stone heart can become soft again. What have I done wrong to deserve this? Please Jesus, help me. Please, please, please Lord.
(UA) TONY, Dear Lord, you said “ask, and if shall be given”. I understand that answers come in your time BUT PLEASE, this man is in so much pain. I am asking, along with Tony, to please heal his (and his wife’s heart) and restore their marriage. Lord, you also stated that where 2-3 are gathered together, anything we ask, of course, in reason, it shall be done. I gather from across the world with Tony and ask that you restore their marriage. Please clear her mind of whatever leads her astray and reunite them stronger than before. Tony and I ask this in your precious name, our Lord Jesus.
(USA) I’m sorry Tony, I’m going through something very similar now in my life and I can totally relate. The best advice I can give is to stay strong and pray constantly. It is a hard road to travel but God will be by our side.
(USA) I would like to ask for prayer for reconciling after divorce. My former wife left almost four years ago in March and it will be two year divorce in April, which also was our anniversary month. 15 years on paper. Well, since she has had several lovers, job related. Work for police department. Recently she has a younger lover, which was in high school when she gave birth to our youngest son. They have been off and on for two years now. She moved down the street from where I live so now when I go to work in the mornings or come back from work I often see his car there. It’s sickening!
Just two months ago she was talking about reconciling. Even calling me up before she came over telling me she doesn’t see herself with him in the future. He has no kids. Works as bouncer and bartender. Set up by her gay co-worker which is his twin. We have three sons together which grew up in the church.
She is a third generation of women that left their husbands. Grandma did it (stories told when she let Grandpa back in he mistreated her the rest of their days), and mother did it (her excuse was her husband was on drugs). I figure the outcome can be different because of my relationship with my Father God. I received Jesus as my savior 7 months after I was married. She professed to already known him.
(INDIA) I was in a relationship for 2 years and we were close to being engaged. But astrologers told him and his family that we would separate if we married, and now he has left me.
I badly want him back in my life,and I hope the Lord will help me. Everytime I try to reach out to him, he responds very negatively, often making me feel alone and miserable. A few days back he stopped talking altogether. I dont know how things can change despite all my prayers, things are getting worse for us.
(USA) Dear LVM. I will pray for you and your “confused” boyfriend BUT, I’ve seen and heard of this before. The time you are spending waiting for this “confused and mislead” man is only keeping you away from the true love that awaits for you somewhere out there. Give others a chance and you will see that the time you are spending waiting for this ex-boyfriend was wasted time. If he is to come back, he will. If not, get out there and find your true love. You sound beautiful. I think your true love will be very easy for you to find. In fact, he will most likely find you.
(UNITED STATES) I have been praying for the last 13 months for my husband & I to be reunited. We have been apart for a 1 1/2 years & divorced for 11 months. We were married for 19 1/2 years & have three kids 12, 14, & 16 years that live with me in another state.
I recently wrote to him (2 weeks ago) & told him I still loved him & wanted to put our family back together. He has been dating another women for 13 months & living with her for 8 months. He loves his children very much & is trying to find employment so he can move to be by them. He says his feelings for me have changed.
I have asked him several times if he loved the other women & is happy with his life but he refuses to answer me. She has had 2 previous marriages & neither one lasted more than 2 years. She spends a lot of money taking him places & pays for everything, including letting him live with her & pay nothing. She doesn’t have any of her own children but has a foster son that lives with them, the same age as our son, 12 years.
I left him because I suffered from depression for 15 years while living in the cold dreary north east weather & moved out west where I was from & we had originally met. Other than my desire to move back out west we got along very well, rarely having any disagreements. There was no cheating, abuse or any other problems. The kids would also like to be a family again & have told him that. I told him I would never give up hope of us being together again but wonder if I even have a chance. I have no interest in meeting or dating anyone. All I do is think about him, I love him so much. Please pray for us to be reunited.
(US) My husband and I have been together for 12 yrs. This past weekend he said he wanted a divorce. He said that he cares for me and I will always have a special place in his heart but his feelings have changed. Our marriage was great and this was out of the blue.
I noticed him pulling away when we found out his brother is dying and they both have CF so I thought it was because he is scared of dying too but he tells me no. He told me he got drunk and slept with a coworker 21, he’s 39, and that now he just wants to go out have fun, meet girls and have sex. He doesn’t want to be married. He said this girl is just a friend with benifits now. I think she is falling for him. He’s beautiful.
I look at the phone and she texts him from morning till night. He said he would never be interested in her and the sex was bad. He told me to get my own place, go hook up with guys and live. He said there is no passion in our marriage and he doesn’t want to try. I am crushed he is my soulmate…
I want only him so I moved out and told him I wouldn’t call or text. I’d give him his space to see if this is what he wants. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. He has to miss me. I am praying to God every night to please fix my marriage to get into my husbands heart. This man is so different than the one I married.
Please tell me what to do. I want this to work. I can’t picture myself with anyone else and I never will be… I’m soooooooo scared I’ve lost him.
He also wants photo albums and won’t give them back to me. He found letters and cards and keeps them and has them out. He left a photo of us on the counter and said that I can’t take it. Why does he want that stuff? He wants a divorce. He said it’s for the memories. But if you don’t want us together, why keep it? I’m so confused.
(USA) I was married for 10 years. After years of feeling like he was not helping, his verbally, and physical abusive mother… I began to have an emotional affair. I filed for a divorce and even though I was very involved in my church… but I felt myself slip into this euphoria. The devil comes in many disguises. I divorced the father of my three children we had prayed to have. 7 weeks after filing for the divorce I wanted him back. I guess you can say… I had a wake up call. I missed him.
But he would not take me back, he had found someone new. I fell into a depression and sought comfort not in Christ, but in a man. I fugured if he wasn’t coming back I needed to move on. I never asked God what he wanted or stood still waiting on his answer, or when I asked and he didn’t answer soon enough, I moved on. I began dating a man and after 9 months together I became pregnant. I became even more angry because I knew I was still in love with my ex-husband.
My ex-husband told me that he always thought we would get back together, but now that I am pregnant it would never happen. It broke my heart. But I have began to seek out God -to show me love for myself again. To love with the love I was born with and to mend my heart one moment, one thought at a time. I realize not so much the wrong my ex-husband did while we were married, but I realize how I failed as a wife. I have forgiven myself.
I do believe there is hope for my future with my ex-husband. If God can answer prayers from a disobedient man in the bottom of a whale, can’t he hear me? Please share your thoughts. Do you think he can get past the past and can a divorced couple become married again? Thank you in advance for your prayers and your words.
Dear Danyel, I know that some marriages are restored after divorce (go into the “Testimonies” part of the “Save My Marriage” topic and you will find several testimonies of it happening). We have friends who this happened to after 12 years of being divorced. But whether it will happen with you and your husband, I just don’t know. You both have made some poor choices and have put a lot of hurdles up between you.
We will help you pray about this. But please know that whatever happens, you need to choose to go God’s way, and not your own. You sure don’t seem to make very good decisions on your own.
And even though this pregnancy and the baby were not planned by you, it didn’t escape God’s attention. He or she is of value and IF your husband can get past the fact that neither of you chose this child but God did, then you may have have a chance of reconciliation. Please don’t make this child pay for your sins.
If your husband won’t reconcile, PLEASE don’t go an opposite way of God’s design for your life. It doesn’t work out well at all. God has already shown you that. And when He brings something to our attention and we go an opposite way, there are even higher consequences to be paid. I’d hate for that to happen to you or this child. May our God of Reconciliation, shine favor upon you and guide and help you now and in the future.
(UNITED STATES) My ex husband and I were divorced 10 years ago. He was a good Christian man but a little too strict and stuffy for me. We both had children from previous relationships and our children fought constantly. We went our separate ways. I gradually started reading my Bible and relying on Jesus to guide my life.
I started dating a very nice man only to find that he had emotional and drug problems. I would pray for Jesus to guide me and show me what to do because I did not want to live in sin. Well, my boyfriend went away for a month for drug treatment. Out of the blue, my ex husband contacts me and says that he wants to catch up. I have not seen him for six years. Well, he has since received his Phd and is a very successful business man and college professor. We went out on a couple of dates when he stated that he came back to marry me because he is too old to date.
Jeremiah 29:11 states that For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. My ex husband is still a Godly man. I have learned to seek God’s guidance and counsel in all that I do. Our children are grown now and all are doing well. Our God is an awesome God. Oh, we plan to remarry very soon.
(INDIA) I am Alfred. Its been just 6 months of my marriage with my wife. She left me after a minor argument 3 months ago. All the attempts to convince her and persuade her to come back to me yielded no result till now. Now her family members want a divorce. I love my wife a lot. I do not want to get separated from her. All attempts to contact her was of no avail, she has barred all the incoming calls from my mobile number.
Another man has entered in. He was working in the same company where my wife worked and he wanted to posses her, but my wife got married to me. In a fit of anger and jealousy he met with some Witch Doctors who do evil magic and black magic and cast evil magic upon our beautiful family, that my wife should get separated from me and he could possess her. He also has cast evil magic on me, as a result of which I am still suffering.
God knows all. Let God destroy all the evil that has been done by this man, Michael. God should talk to my wife, give her clarity of mind. God should talk even to my in laws, let my wife come back to me. Destroy all the evil deeds of Michael. God should show his wrath on him. Please punish him for his evil deeds, drive him away from my beautiful family, and destroy all the evil deeds he has done.
I love my wife a lot. Have her come back to me. I cannot live without her. God Jesus Christ, with your blood please destroy all the evil done by Micheal and punish him severely. Cast him out of my family, and my in laws. Cleanse my wife and my in laws with your holy blood and give them clarity of mind. And let my wife, Charulatha, come back to me, for I love her more than anything else in this world. Please do this miracle God, Alfred
(USA) I also am having issues with my marriage, it’s actually already a divorce. I am working to repair it and I hurt her so bad that she is resistant to say the least. I would appreciate any and all prayers for Bon and Curt.
(PHILIPPINES) I read all post here and it gave me a courage to write and tell my story and yes, to hear advice. I and my husband are both Christians. We are got married here in the Philppines last July 9, 2011. He is from California. After our wedding he went back to the states because he was working there. I am studying here in my country. We decided that I am to finish up my studies before I move to the U.S.
But before our marriage he filed a fiancé visa suddenly, because of our excitement and because we miss each other. He decided to continue my fiancé visa that he filed and I was granted to have it. I’m very excited that we will reunite after 7 months.
But he was changed now. He said he doesn’t want to marry me in the U.S. because he is not ready for married commitment in the states. I really feel so alone and lonely because I love him so much and I really miss Him. He bought a ticket for me for this March 10th and according to him I can stay with my relatives, but not with Him.
Please help me pray that we reunite and let him know that marriage is a lifetime commitment in the Lord anywhere the ceremony was held. I really love him. I know God turns impossible things to possible. And I know within myself as a believer, that when two persons bond in matrimony, let there be no man who will separate them. Please help me to pray for us… to restored our marriage.
(UNITED STATES) Today is February 21, 2012. Tomorrow is the final date for divorce. My husband filed for a divorce. I didn’t want a divorce. He gave me no choice; but God did.
He said He would restore. I don’t know when or how. All I know is that tomorrow at 11 am if God allows it, I will be divorced. I have never known anything so painful. I love my husband. He is full of excuses… I have never heard such stupid excuses.
Would you please just pray for me, for us? I am still standing. Wounded! BUT STANDING. Thank God for this journey because I have gotten closer to Jesus.
I am excited about the outcome. About what God is going to do. I am absolutely sure God is Sovereign in my life. If my husband’s heart was hardened… I believe God did that too. Because the Lord said that what He would do for me no one else could do, and He said that everyone will know it was HIM who did this for me. Just the way He did it to Pharaoh. Just to show HIS mighty power!!!
He WILL RESTORE! HE WILL USE MY HUSBAND. IT IS NOT OVER. FATHER SAID THAT YESTERDAY. IT IS NOT OVER, TILL HE SAYS IT IS. You know what? Divorce aint so bad. Divorce is NOTHING in the sight of my God. My God’s specialty is RESURRECTION!!! AMEN!
(USA) Please pray for me and my family. I have been separated since December 17th (living apart since Feb 5th) and I acted like a total jerk during those 2 months and pushed my wife even further away from me. We would have celebrated our 11th anniversary on Feb 9th. We’ve been together for a little over 13 years. I was not the greatest husband and I made some really stupid accusations for about 5 years.
The last 2 years were good, or so I thought, but she had never forgiven me and she was still hurt by the false accusations. I thought things were fine because she never told me anything different. In fact on Thanksgiving day she told me how thankful she was to be married to her best friend, soul mate and how much she loved me. 2 weeks later we got into a fight and 1 week after that when I chose some really poor analogies to describe how I was feeling she said she was done; it was over and she was tired of being hurt.
I was devastated and I tried to get her to come to marriage counseling with me but she refused. She said her heart wasn’t in it so it would be a waste. I was angry, and bitter and lashed out at her every chance I got until 3 days ago when I finally asked God to take away my anger and bitterness. If there was any chance of us reconciling before I’m sure I destroyed any chance with my behavior during these last 2 months.
I love her and our 2 kids so much (5 and 1) and would do anything to work through our problems. I have already filed for divorce (not what I wanted, but I felt I needed to protect myself since I don’t know what kind of game she’s playing). I pray that God will intervene before the divorce is final as I’m certain that with God in our lives we can absolutely make our marriage work. I’m putting my faith and trust in him and asking him to soften my wife’s hardened heart and allow her to forgive me and come back home.
I’d appreciate any advice. I’m asking for prayers to save my marriage. God bless you all and each of you in your families are also in my prayers.
(NETHERLANDS) Visit http://www.rejoiceministries.org for people who all stand for their marriage forever (even after divorce or your spouse married another one, which is making the adultery legal). God wants all marriages to be healed. Let Him first transform you and after that your spouse and the situation. With God everything is possible!!! Bless you.
(UNITED STATES) I am so sorry to read all of these posts. Some are good, but in most cases, all I can see is disobedience to God. I pray that all prodigals come home and all marriages and relationships are restored and reconciled for God’s Glory. Blessings and Love
(USA) I am going through a divorce. We been married 20 yrs now and have been separated almost two years now. We have both failed each other. We have both sinned against each other. I’ve separated many times before but this time has been the longest.
Since I’ve retaken my vows with God I’ve been reading the Bible. I’ve come to realize the wrong I’ve done as well as my husband. I recently asked him if he wanted to try to work out our marriage. He said yes, but he wanted sex first. The problem I have is that since he is not a Christian and hates God that our marriage will fail again.
I told him that in order for marriage to work we would have to do it God’s way. I need giudance and I need to know what steps to take and what should I expect from him. Please advise. Thank you and God bless you all!