The following are true-life sexual issues testimonies. They are written by those who have dealt with various sexual issues that effect marriage. We pray they will minister to your own marital situation.
If you have a testimony that TRULY DID HAPPEN —one in which you have gained victory over, can you send it to us? Please write it down and send it to us so we could post it on our web site. It could help and encourage others. And for that, we would all be most grateful.
Also, if you find a great testimony of victory over sexual issues that cause problems in marriages, please let us know. You can do this through our “Contact Us” feature and we will get back to you.
Sexual Issues Testimonies of Victory:
• CONFESSIONS OF A (REFORMED) “GENEROUS GATEKEEPER”
• JOURNEY OF CHANGE: In the Beginning
Also:
• HOW ONE WOMAN FOUND HEALING FROM PAINFUL SEX
• KISS ME AGAIN (Family Life Today Radio series)
(Barbara Wilson tells how she found freedom from her sexual past.)
• CRAWLING OUT OF THE PIT OF REFUSAL
If God has done a special work in your marriage that could encourage others, we want to hear from you. Even if it isn’t very long in length, please send it to us. Who knows? It could inspire many. Please share your testimony with us by going to the CONTACT section of this web site. Click then on “Contact Us” and then write it out for us there.
If you want to remain anonymous, please let us know. We will not to reveal your name and the name(s) of your loved ones if that is your wish. Our aim is to encourage others, not to embarrass anyone.
(PHILADELPHIA) My husband and I have been married for over 20 years. About a year ago I found out that he has been looking at gay porn. This disturbed me greatly. I admit to having faults and have had affairs and I have repented to GOD and turned away. I blame the both of us. My husband and I have not been intimate in a couple of years. I have prayed, fasted, and still nothing. What do you suggest?
(USA) I used to think that it was my fault if my husband didn’t make love to me. I have loved this man since I was 13 years old. Most of us women assume that it’s automatically our “fault”. I am very patient with him and I DO PRAY A LOT. But I do know it’s NOT my fault. And we have talked about things and there is possibly a medical reason for his issues. Just be patient and love them. Just as women, men also need our understanding and love.
(US) Dear Tia, I can understand why you are worried. I would be, too. The plain fact is, you have both made mistakes and both been hurt by the other partner. However, that does not mean that you can not work thru the difficulties that you are facing.
I read that you have fasted and prayed, and have repented of your past mistakes. My question to you is, have you prayed for HIM? Rather than assigning blame to yourself or to him, take a moment to realize that we are all human, and therefore subject to temptation. Forgive yourself, and forgive him, then find a good and knowledgeable spiritual mentor (that you KNOW you can trust), then, let God have His way. I pray that all things will work together for your good.
May the Lord grant you peace. Sincerely, Bee
(ZAMBIA) Dear Tia, God always answers our prayers when we pray in faith and truth. I have come to know that certain answers don’t just come there and then. Instead, positive confession of God’s promises concerning that area/ problem is very helpful. Remember it’s the devil, our enemy, we deal with, so attack him with the word of God daily and I can assure you – your answer is just around the corner. God has already answered your prayers just claim what belongs to you.
Also remember that God is a God of new beginnings. He does not dwell in our past life. Once you confess your sins before God your past is gone and your new life has come so don’t condemn yourself. Instead bless yourself, your husband and our heavenly father. Amen
(USA) I need Help!!! My wife and I have been married for almost 5 years. We have two children, a 2 year old son and a 3 year old daughter (11 months apart). Kelly is a stay at home mom.
After my son was born (two years ago) my wife stopped having sex with me. The only way I could have sex with her was to wake her up in the middle of the night. Once the process was started, she wouldn’t stop me. Well, she had been unhappy and analyzing the marriage last Dec. She was working through some personal issues. I asked if we were o.k., so she started analyzing us. Big mistake. She decided she was unhappy with us.
To make things worse, she went out drinking with a girlfriend one night and came home drunk and then passed out. When I got up for work, I carried her up the stairs and then thought about our usual sexual process. I undressed her and commenced to have sex with her. I am way out of practice, so it only took two maybe 3 seconds for me to finish (embarrassing enough). Anyway, she did not wake up as I had hoped. (She is usually a little fun after a few drinks).
So, bringing up some past I was unaware of, she had been raped twice before she ever met me. Once was when she was drunk and her girlfriend never woke up from her screams. I had no idea about that. Anyway, she views what I did as rape. I don’t blame her, but it was not my intent at all. I wanted a nice sexual moment with my wife. Had I wanted to rape her, I would have done things I know she doesn’t approve of. I didn’t. I just wanted to be with her.
So, long story longer, she has not and says can not forgive me or move on. She says she wants a divorce. I have since reconfirmed my relationship with God (should have never left him). I am trying to give this up to Him to help, but I’m afraid she may be too far gone. It was a one time mistake, that could destroy our family of 4, our marriage, and my life. Please give some advice, and please pray for us.
She has already gone to see a counselor (once) about 4 weeks ago. She said he called it rape as well. Well, we are supposed to go as a couple and see him tomorrow. After he hears my side, I’m hoping he will be able to help. (He is a former Navy Chaplain). However, she told me two days ago that she wants a divorce. Please HELP!
It’s not all about sex but, really it is all about sex. We as men have a hard time conveying this but let me entertain you to what I mean. Women love confidence, men draw confidence from sexually satisfying their partners. When there are slumps performance, satisfaction and confidence fade out too. It’s a delicate balance that we have to acknowledge.
I have a situation with my husband of 20 years. He is into porn and his obsession of inviting a third person or couple into our sex life is disgusting to me. I’m not Bi nor do I see a women attractive in that way and I can’t get it through his head I’m not interested. He gets mad at me for not even being open minded and meeting people who swing. He now has gone as far as getting on AFF searching for couples/women/men wanting to have sex with us. His reason is more hands, more fun and I explained we have the best relationship and sex, why ruin something we have like no else?
He’s my best friend and soul mate. I get sick thinking about it. He also say’s it about you and you’ll get more pleasure then me and I know you’ll like it. I made a mistake when we got together and he convinced me to have a threesome with his best friend. It did nothing for me and I don’t even look back at it! I feel he thinks I owe him something! Please anyone out there who has dealt with this please give me some pointers. I don’t want a divorce.
Lori, Please go into the “Pornography and Cybersex” topic of this web site and read what you can. Your husband has reprogrammed his brain, just as drugs can reprogram a brain. Making love is no longer something he feels satisfied doing, as he did before (just as a person addicted to drugs needs more and more to get satisfied). As you read more and more about it, and look into some of the ministries we recommend, you’ll have a better understanding of this. It’s not that he can’t reprogram his brain bio-chemically back to “normal”, but it will take effort and denial of that which he craves right now –getting more and more of a high from that which can kill your marriage. Eventually, you’ll get more and more disgusted by all of this and will feel terrible about it all, and he will crave more and more outside of your marital two-some, killing the love you have for each other, replacing that which is real –your marital love for each other –making love instead of making sex, and will increase the urge to grab onto that which is fake and harmful for your marriage, not to mention immoral. Sadly, we’ve seen this before all too many times… it’s really tragic and addicting to those who have a weakness in this area.
Please read, go into other ministries we recommend, and possibly contact one or more of them to see what help you can get from them. Your marital relationship still has a chance at this point, but if it all keeps going in the direction it is, you’re headed for real trouble. Even if he won’t go, you should go get help and hope and pray that eventually he will join you.
Also, please, no matter how much pressure your husband puts upon you, please don’t give into joining him in this behavior. Making love with just the two of you is great, but if you lower your standards to participate in what he is asking of you outside of just the two of you, you’ll live to regret it big time. This is adultery. That’s not what you got married for. He’s playing with fire; please don’t join him in this. You WILL get burned, and your marriage will go down in smoke, as well. It’s not sustainable to build or maintain a healthy marriage doing what he’s tempted to do, trying to drag you into it, as well. Please talk to one or more of the counselors from the ministries we recommend in the “Cybersex and Pornography” topic in the Links part of it. They will be marriage-friendly, and also will want to help you with this dilemma. Please reach out to them. For your sake, and the sake of your marriage, I hope you will. I’m praying for you, Lori.
Thank You so…much for the response and I’ll look into the link you said!
Has anyone dealt with a situation where their spouse doesn’t have a desire issue, and while they are attached to you, they just don’t see a point in being sexual anymore? They want to stay married, but want to be celibate. She says she is ok if I can’t accept that and want to divorce. Of course I don’t want to divorce, but I truly need her affection. It’s not even sexual; she just wants to live as platonic companions.
Is that ever changeable; is it a phase….is she not in love with me anymore? I am so confused. Can we ever get it back? We were so affectionate and loving in the beginning; now she wants me to sleep on the couch for the remainder of our days. It’s psychological torture.