The following are “Real Life” surviving infidelity testimonies from people who have dealt with the destructive force and heart-break of what infidelity can do to a marriage. They have dealt with it head on. And they have learned how to survive and thrive, despite the heart ache involved.
We believe you will learn through what they have to say. And prayerfully you will find hope through reading what they have lived through and learned through.
Keep in mind that no two experiences are the same. But as you prayerfully read through (and watch) what they say, God will show you how to hang on and apply at least some of what you learn.
Surviving Infidelity Testimonies:
Plus:
• A MARRIAGE THAT SURVIVED INFIDELITY
• REBUILDING TRUST WITH EACH OTHER AND THE CHILDREN
Also:
• HEALING MARRIAGE FROM ADULTERY AND OTHER SERIOUS SINS
• HOW WE FOUND FORGIVENESS AFTER AN AFFAIR
VIDEO TESTIMONIES:
• THE RUGGERIOS: Learning to Trust Again
Additionally:
• THE ANDERSONS: Forgiving the Prodigal Spouse
• THE SHRIVERS: After the Affair
If God has given you a testimony —one that could help and encourage others who are living with the horrible pain of infidelity, we would appreciate it if you would send it to us. Please do so even if what you have to write isn’t very long in length. You never know what God can use to help others. We’ve seen true miracles. Your story may be just the light they need for the step they are on at that particular moment. It’s amazing what God can use when we say yes to His nudging.
Please share your testimony with us by going to the CONTACT section of this web site. Click on the “Contact Us” button. Then just write it out for us there.
Lastly, if you want to remain anonymous, please let us know. We will not to reveal your name or the name(s) of your loved ones if that is your wish. It’s important that you know that our aim is to encourage others, not to embarrass anyone.
(USA) I was with my Husband for 4yrs before we got married. We were married for only 6mos and I found out by a knock at our front door that he was cheating on me! We were having problems with him not keeping a JOB! I suspect something was going on with him so I asked him if he was cheating and that cause a big argument. Therefore I did not bring it up again. I assured him that if he came to me and told me we would work it out.
But when I found out from the other woman, my reaction to finding out that way was not a Godly. I had accepted Jesus as my Personal Lord and Savior a few months before we met. I was not living accordingly though. Being that I was 6mos pregnant I physical beat the !@% out of him. That experience took me to a place I had never been in years.
I went to my pastor a month after the incident and that still was helping me. I finally just went on a total fast after I had my baby and I prayed day and night. I went from blaming myself for being too hard on him to just hating him. I had to do something. The only one that could help me was God Almighty. I had never done a total fast and prayed before. It real opened me up to what God’s Will for my Life was and what my will was. I had a very hard choice to make. Forgiveness is the only way to save yourself!
I love that. I started a daily fast but I do it have day, one time all day. How long do you fast? I hope God honors what I am doing for a deeper intimacy with Him and I hope my ex-wife will change and return to me as I have really changed spiritually.
(SOUTH AFRICA) Hi. My husband is a cheat for the 11 yrs we’ve been together. He cheated with lots of women. And now for the past 6 yrs or more there is this woman he cheats with and I was even admitted in the Hospital for depression as she claimed to be pregnant. We confronted her. She told me how sexually weak my husband is and the pregnacy was just a game and my husband is an old man who has no value.
I showed my husband what kind of a woman he is destroying his marriage with. He was upset for that day but believe you me, he went back to her. Please, how do I live with such a man and how do I forgive him for what he put me through?
(AUSTRALIA) You don’t. Once maybe, but remorse must be present and a will to rebuild the relationship. Your husband clearly is not interested, nor is he remorseful for the hurt he caused you and your baby. He has no love or conscience.
You don’t. He didn’t respect the sanctity of your marriage in the first place. You deserve more than that.
(AUSTRALIA) I just want to put my testimony out there for the encouragement of others. My wife and I are in our late twenties and have been married for 1 and a half years. I found out 6 months ago that my wife had been having an affair with a co-worker for 6 months and the pain was unbearable. Obviously the hurt was MASSIVE and I honestly felt like the walls of my life were caving in.
I suffered panic and anxiety attacks and my confidence levels went down to zero. I was a Christian but had distanced myself from God over the previous years but this experience put me straight back into his arms. I relied on God for my validation and put all my perspectives back into what he said and believed about me.
At the same time I chose to forgive my wife and we decided to give our marriage another shot. My wife was only half willing to work on our issues as she was also wrestling with feelings she had for this other man. As you can imagine, this was a hard scenario and to put it bluntly, my life just wasnt fair. But I believed that while there was still hope, I would fight for my marriage. I surrounded myself with godly counsel (Our Pastor, My best friend and also a marriage councellor) and I started working on things that I could contribute to making our marriage better. This wasn’t easy and there were days and weeks were I failed at it, and took my eyes off Jesus and let fear into my situation. But God pulled me out everytime. Also, every situation where the emotions got to much, I realised that whereever my strength stopped, Gods begun, so I never fell short as God had me the whole time.
Over this last 6 months, my wife has been extremely irrational and said things that I know weren’t true but were just her feelings. I had to choose to believe that one day she would wake up and realise just how stupid all this was and that she had a great husband who was willing to go through hell to rescue their marriage. I can say after 6 months of hard work, my wife is in love with me, she is working hard on our marriage now and God is doing miracles. It doesn;t mean its easy, but it’s worth it.
My advice to those going through an affair, is first of all find out what you mean to God. Once you realise his unconditional love for you is sufficient then your perspective changes. Also realise that your choices are more important then your feelings. Feelings come and go, but you have to choose at to forgive and choose to love. Its a commitment too. Get your validation from who you are in Jesus and who you are as a person. Just because your partner chose to be unfaithful does not make you worthless, don’t even take it as rejection.
Also one more important thing, fight for your marriage. Even when you feel its unfair. While there is hope, you fight. I am 6 months into fighting for my marriage, and my wife has gone from seeing me as a weak emotional man, to a brave man who will fight for what he believes in.
Always keep your eyes on Jesus and you cant go wrong. And even you do fall, even if you try do things in your own strength, even if it all falls into a piled heap and seems lost, God is there. He will never forsake you. Love you guys. And remember because of Jesus’ victory on the cross, you already are victorious and you fight from a position of victory!
(USA) I totally can relate to this infidelity. I’m trying to fight for my marriage also and staying spiritually connected with myself and God. My husband and I sleep in separate rooms. He says he needs time to get over this woman and that he only texts on a daily basis. I want to get my things and leave but something is holding me back. He goes through the day looking calm and happy while I’m in rage and jealous. I don’t understand how he continues to have a relationship with her and a marriage with me.
And then I tolerate it, I am letting him step all over me by staying. He says he loves me, but I don’t think so. Friends and family tell me to stand in my power and leave him because he’s not in a hurry to win back my trust and respect. Infidelity destroys an individuals self-esteem, families, and homes. Please support me with some advice because I don’t want to storm out of my home and regret losing everything later.
Honey, first of all if he loved you he would have broken all contact with this woman. “Get over her”! Get over her for what? You are his wife and he is obviously still not over his relationship with this woman. You are only second best to him. And as much as your family will lovingly advise you, they can’t separate you from your husband. You have to do that; forgive yourself and your husband and refuse to be anyone’s second best and own your power. Good luck.
This is such an inspiring story. I, like your wife, betrayed my husbands trust with infidelity. I was so caught up in my selfish desires, I put him to the side. He has been going through the same emotions as you did. He lost his connection with God. His heart is filled with anger, grief, anxiety and hurt. I’ve been on a journey for the past few months, understanding now that the Lord is my saving grace.
My husband and I have arguments talking about the affair. He doesn’t think I’m honest (while he has every right to think that considering the pain I caused him). I have been open and honest. I see a therapist twice a week (for about 5 weeks now), and today will mark the first day we finally go to marriage counseling with a military Chaplain. I pray everyday for my husband. I feel awful when we argue, he says the most hurtful things to me, but I understand that he is still hurt.
I pray that the actions and the words I say will someday mean something to him. I am a child of our one true king, and because of that I love my husband unconditionally. “And even though my illness was a trial to you, you did not treat me with contempt or scorn. Instead, you welcomed me as if I were an angel of God, as if I were Christ Jesus himself.” Galatians 4:14. I live on this scripture as well as many others. I admit, I can feel low at times, but I know that through Christ, all things are possible.
What I would like to know… are there things that I can do to help my husband be comfortable? I have cut ties with anyone and anything that led me to me horrible decision. I message him all day through out the day and send him GPS pins through messenger. I come home every night and I treat him with a smile and kindness. He tells me that he sees no changes in me. He proclaims that we’ll never be able to work though this. There have been countless late nights where he flip flops between his emotions. I feel as though he has no hope for us, but then he tells me he loves me.
Last night my husband told me that he couldn’t be with me anymore. I pray that the counseling session this evening can help us. I know that God is with me and everything will work out to his plan. I love my husband and I am so sorry for all the pain I caused him. I hope he can learn to listen to God’s words again. Thank you for the uplifting words. Lauren
I am like you, I cheated on my husband of 7 years. He tried so hard to win me back for almost 4 months then said he was done and I finally saw the light. I have begged, pleaded, asked for forgiveness from the Lord. Almost 2 months later he says he is still done but no progress has been made on the dissolution. Easter is right around the corner and I pray we can resurrect our love and commitment by then. My advice is, hold on to your husband and keep faith. Show him what the Bible says, show him these stories about other people and affairs and make sure he reads them. Be strong. I hope everything works out.
I admire you for realizing your mistake and working so hard to gain back his trust and I truly pray your marriage is restored. However, I don’t think it’s a good idea to whip out your Bible and show the one you wronged verses on forgiveness. This will cause more anger guaranteed. There are plenty more verses to throw back at you as well, and that’s not what God wants us to use his word for. I pray it all works out.
Thank you Lauren for sharing your story. I am a Christian and my wife too claims to be one. We have been married for nearly six years now and like most people, we have had fights now and again, mostly over my lack of money (not enough, compared to my friends and other people she knows). Well, just a week ago, she told me she was pregnant. Apparently she had gone to attend a wedding, met an old friend who was whispering “things” to her, later escorted her to the car, they sat in his car and talked about “love things”, then somehow he “forced” himself on her. Thing is, she says it was not rape exactly. She came back late that night, nothing was unusual about her and for two months behaved normal, until I accidentally fell on a tin of folic acid and then noticed she was spitting, generally the signs of an early pregnancy.
Long story short, she says she is sorry. I find it hard to believe her because she never puts on her wedding ring, likes staying out late with her “friends,” all of which I have complained about in the past. Our relatives have been trying to reconcile us, but she somehow wants to blame me for her wrongs, claiming I had ignored her. I am so angry and feel betrayed and do not think I can trust her again, let alone forgive what she has done to destroy the marriage and hurt our two little girls. My friends and family are advising that I divorce her. The only thing stopping me to do just that yet is our little girls that will suffer in all this. I am praying to God to show me direction and give me the grace to live on.
Is it totally inappropriate to get in touch with your husband? I could really connect with him and maybe help him because it sounds like we’re very similar.
Laura I don’t know if you will read this or how this situation turned out for you but I am going through something very similar right now. I too had an affair. My husband discovered it four months ago. I have tried everything under the sun to make amends for the pain I have caused him. He is still undecided at this point. I have repented for this horrible sin and have been forgiven by God. Through counseling, I am working on forgiving myself. We started marriage counseling last week. He has said he is still undecided. I have been praying daily and continuously. I want to fix what was broken and fight for my marriage. I pray that he decides to do the same as we have been married for 17 years. I can’t take what I’ve done but I hope that maybe with others praying for us we can overcome this.
Stop beseeching him. You have apologized; now be your self as long as you know you won’t do it again. Continue to pray and give him time to process what happened and heal. Stop bombarding him with too much attention….he sees it as manipulation.
Awesome words of encouragement, thank you, you have blessed my life.
This is beautiful and inspiring. I’m 2 months after my husband’s affair and we are in the same spot. I feel exactly how you do and have faith in God to lead me through.
Thanks for sharing. I feel that God led me to this site to read this specific passage. My wife & I have been married for about a year and half now, & have been together for 3 years. I have a 7 year old daughter from a previous relationship, & she has a 3 year old son from a previous relationship (her & the guy just “hooked up” & she got pregnant; I met her shortly after & felt like God had brought us together; after the father didn’t want to work it out with her, I felt like it was God opening the door for us.) FAST FORWARD TO SEPTEMBER THIS YEAR…married for a year & a half; 7 & 3 year old step children; 10 month old daughter. We had our normal marital issues (not enough time spent together; who should clean; watch the baby; money; what’s for dinner; disciplining the children/step-children/ co-parenting; etc.), but I was happy having my family & routine.
We got into a lot of those little “well I’ll show her/him” moments when we did things just to be spiteful. I always felt like it was her fault & vice versa. Neither of us had the mindset or the wisdom to be the “bigger person” & just do the right things. & all the while I just assumed that this is married life with a newborn, & it’s how it’s supposed to be… stressful & tiring. I would constantly look forward to the days of children being old enough to not need every little thing handled for them, just to be independent enough that I could sit down for more than 2 minutes at a time without getting up to play peace maker or clean up crew. I just looked forward to the future so much, that I became boring in my routine. Everyday was just passing the time by, until I could have “my time”.. when the kids are in bed & the wife is getting ready to lay down, I can watch whatever I want to on TV & have no interruption. HAH! that was what I looked forward to.
We both know God, & have a relationship with Him. I don’t always go to church or do the right thing, but we’re good people who always try to do our best…same as 99.9% of all other Christians. lol. But we were nowhere near where God wanted us to be. I see that now. But just “getting by” or “looking forward” doesn’t cut it. Where I was content to get up & go to work 10 hours a day, come home, figure out dinner, entertain/wrestle with the kids for 30 minutes, feed the dog, shower, & do it all again tomorrow. Though I wasn’t doing “wrong” in that scenario, what could I have done better? I’m trying to learn how to live each day at a time; to find joy in all things, to be happy with myself, to give more of an effort with all aspects of my life, instead of just “doing enough to get by”.
As for my marriage now, my wife had an affair & became pregnant in early fall of this year. she says it was just someone she knew & started messaging & texting, & one thing lead to another at a friend’s house one night… & you get the picture. But in finding out from an old friend who just happened to hear my name in a conversation, I felt extra hurt. So many details & accusations come out from people who appear to know more about your life than you do. & after learning through all my past experiences, I turned to God first. I asked “why me?”… not so much worried about my wife’s infidelity yet… but wondering what God had planned for me to learn from this. Because every storm we face, is a chance for God to show us the way to calmer seas, not just “Band-Aid” the problem, but FIX IT! so right now, my struggle isn’t really with my wife yet (because I’ve yet to decide whether or not I’m willing to go through these next few years of heartache & rebuilding) but my struggle remains with myself…to see if I’m supposed to become the man that God wants me to be by working on things with my wife & being an example of His grace & love…or am I supposed to “do me” & be the best man/dad that I can be to my daughters without the help / support of my wife. I’m in limbo.
The question isn’t whether or not God can fix it, because I already know that if I do what is right by me & I continue to seek him first, then my marriage will resolve itself. Because whether or not I try to work on things with my wife, I’M THE ONLY PERSON I CAN CONTROL. GOD WILL SEE THAT I’M DOING WHAT IS RIGHTEOUS & THAT IS MY REWARD. I just hate the idea of doing all that work & providing a life for my family, to only be hurt again/worse in the long run & I know God will be there, but to willingly submit myself to this level of devastation again (possibly) is still mind-boggling to me.. not to mention all the subtle reminders of the affair that just randomly pop into my train of thought.. so many questions & feelings that’s it’s hard to even know if any of this will make sense. But I know that God has a plan & He will never fail, it would just be nice to know for a fact that what she says isn’t just “words”, but that she actually means them & this is what I’m supposed to try to do…save my marriage…because no father wants to miss out on seeing his children everyday. So, prayers are appreciated & I, again, am so thankful for this page & these testimonies. I really needed to read these today. GOD IS GOOD! 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 Romans 12:17-21
Hey. How are things in your marriage now? I’m asking because I just recently found out that my husband had had two affairs in our first year of marriage, had flirted with women throughout our marriage and had had one big full on relationship with a married colleague 5 years into our marriage. Your message is exactly how I feel. I don’t know if I can or even want to continue fighting for this marriage when this can happen to me again. When do the images and thoughts of the affairs go away? Do they go away? Does it begin to hurt less?
My husband cheated on me for about 2 years. I found out about it November 1, 2017. Someone found out and was going to tell me so he came forward first.
I’ve been reading all these testimonies and they are all so heartbreaking! Not one is exactly the same as the other. We were called to a marriage ministery 16 years ago. We helped a few marriages and people as God brought them our way. I won’t go into all of the details but for me I never felt God released me to leave my husband. God had to show me that I Truly loved my husband even though he destroyed me completely. It was a long few months with huge weight lose because I couldn’t stomach food. I had to hide it from everyone to protect our kids for now and the girl he was with was a friend of my daughter. She was my friend too, I thought.
We had compromised in areas of our lives with some drinking and watching rated R movies with language and the Lord’s name in vain. I had no idea how messed up my husband was emotionally and spiritually. He was a very angry person which our kids and I paid a high price for. I went back and forth to loving him and not being able to stand him. I always thought I trusted God and He could get me through anything. I remember about 5 years into our marriage I was done being manipulated by fear and his anger and figured someone else could love me and our kids better. I even thought I would have an affair because I knew in Gods eyes that was my way out. I came close but never did it. I thought I will love him through his faults because God knows I have mine.
I have fought for 26 years of trying to get him to change and have a stronger walk with God and be healed from whatever he needed to be healed from. I told God whatever it takes to help our marriage but please let it not be an affair because I couldn’t forgive or survive an affair. All my life I have been rejected. I was abandoned by my dad when he left my mom. He had many affairs on her and chose that life instead of his family. I didn’t want a marriage like my moms.
I have so much to tell to this but will cut a lot out for time. So to get to the point you are so right about you can only fix you! For me I had to figure out who I really was in Christ. I had to learn to trust Him like I have never had to before. What satan means for bad God will always turn to good for His name sake. I thought I knew who I was but you never really know what your made of until your put to the test.
I have always said to friends and family, trust God He can get you through anything. And now I felt God is looking at me and asking me to prove what I have been saying. So I chose to stay and work it out. Half the time feeling I was losing my mind. I’m going to be 52 this year. The enemy will tell you everything he can think of to destroy you and your family through this. I went to a SOZO class to help get through some past childhood hurts and young adult hurts. It was amazing. My husband went too. I had no idea how angry I was inside from my past hurts. The devil starts on us when we are children to try to destroy us. SOZO helped me move mountains. After that we went to A Love After Marriage 3 day class. It was the next step to our healing and restoring our marriage.
The betrayal of an affair is one of the worst things to try and come through. I had a hard time trying to trust my husband. But you need to trust God and the Holy Spirit to take care of your spouse. It’s not in our power nor is it our job to trust them and try to make sure they won’t fall again. I tried and it kept me stuck in suspicion and anger. But there can’t be any compromise in your life or your spouse. Not even the little things. You need to put the Armor of God on every morning and change your thinking. Remember bible verses that help keep you strong in your thinking to fight a good fight. Gods word is the only thing that wins against satan and his lies.
I believe that we’re are called to use our pain to help others. I want the devil to pay for trying to destroy my marriage and take my life. There is healing in your testimony and in helping others through the pain you have gone through. Work on yourself and be the best you can be as a believer and God will take care of you. Before this happened to me I had a different outlook on spouses that cheat. There is usually a reason. Hurting people hurt people. My friend went through this years ago. I was so mad at her spouse and didn’t have a lot of grace and probably was very judgemental towards him. I tried helping her through this best I could. I had no idea how to help her. I couldn’t even have the compassion to understand what she was going through because I have never been there.
But now I have the tools and confidence to help others by the grace of God and the leading of the Holy Spirit. God allows us to go through pain so we can have compassion for others who are hurting and tell them what our Lord and Savoir has loving brought us through. I am a stronger person, I have a stronger relationship with God and so much more. God is so faithful. I won’t tell more on my husband, but our marriage is better than it ever has been. If it wasn’t for this affair we would still be back where we were. That makes my stomach turn. I am so thankful for this heartache that God has brought me through. We are both better for it. When we can tell our testimony in our small town it will bring even more healing and the chance to help others.
I will be praying for you. I still have a ways to go but I know if it was easy I wouldn’t know how to fight and be able to help others to fight because God is teaching me and giving me tools. I am FEARLESS and determined to make the enemy pay by helping others if they choose to save their marriage and having my own story of how God help me become a warrior for His army. Check out a SOZO class and Love After Marriage or 4 day intensive class. You won’t be sorry.
TO ALL MARRIED COUPLES: My name is Jeremy. I got married in 2006. I loved my first wife so much but accidentally, I don’t know what happened she betrayed me. I was so, so mad and depressed. Everyone who knew her spoke about how bad she was, how bad her behaviour was. But I never took time to know or understand that maybe all those men that told me that my wife was bad, maybe they wanted her and she rejected them. Maybe all the ladies who told me how my wife was bad, maybe they were jealous because of the desired attention my wife was given with every man around her.
So I tried to fix my marriage. Yes, she changed, but because of the anger I felt I judged her based on her weakness. Everyday I used to speak very harsh words to her but not even a day did she speak bad words towards me. One day she gave up and left. I was happy because that’s what I thought I wanted. But it was one extremely big mistake to let go of my wife. I used to tell her I will never get married again.
I got born again. I went to church and after two years I met a very beautiful girl, a worshipper, a girl that all men in church wanted to marry. I tried to date her and she accepted. I proposed and she said yes. She got married to me. I thought that I got married to an angel this time that I was the luckiest man to married this girl.
7 years later we had the three kids. I was very happy; I never doubted her. Then in 2014 she was badly sick with brain cancer. On her second semester we were doing our best to try to save her but when the doctor told us she cannot be saved my world got broken. Then she called me; she wanted to talk. I went to her and she gave me the worst news in this world. She told me in those three kids I was not their father. I didn’t have a child with her; she was cheating on me. I never noticed, imagined, or even thought she could do that. She kept herself so clean; at the age of 30 she was still a virgin. So that was something that I didn’t have in my brain that she could do that.
She died and we did the funeral. The three men came for the children, my three boys. Work and my desire of life was gone. Then I went for guidance counseling for years. Then I was fine and I decided to go fetch for my wife. I was looking for my first wife to see if I can have her back in my life if she can give me a second chance to love her.
While I dumped my first wife I thought that I’d never get married in my life. At that time I was showing her how much I hated women. I planted the seed of hate in her. She hated men with all her heart. She raised our two kids of which my older daughter tried to commit suicide in that period of separation. She was so sad because of my selfishness. Without any support from anyone she’s very successful but not married. I truly wish to reconcile, but it is hard.
To all married couples: you have to think twice and know that your child will be the one to get affected, more than you know, that it is not a relationship; it’s a marriage. It’s something that you gave up and she gave up her life and accepted married life.
My name is Jessica and I have been married to my husband for 20 years. We have had our ups and downs through our marriage but we loved each other very much and our two kids beyond words, so I thought. We always said we were each other’s soul mates. Unfortunately I discovered that my husband has been having an affair for 7 months and it just turned my world upside down. We met in boot camp 21 years ago. He stayed in and I got out to go to school and take care of kids while in school.
My husband has always been my biggest supporter and always showed me how much he loved me despite our disagrements at times. Unfortunately in Sept 2016 I discovered my husband had been having an affair with another service member. I have been living 4 hrs apart for a couple of years until our youngest son finished high school. He came home every weekend religiously and we always had a great time together and as a family. I started to notice some changes in his behavior towards the kids and I. Phone calls, text messages, face times, etc. were diminishing and sometimes he was not as loving as he has always been.
I have found text messages and he was always on his cell phone. He finally moved us to where he was stationed at in Feb 2016. Some days were better than others but there was a lot of tension because I even saw him getting dropped off by her at his job. He kept denying it and made me feel that I was going crazy and it was all in my head. I have been suffering so much. I lost approx 20 lbs and my anxiety level was to the roof. On May 12, 2017 he told me he was going for a drive to clear his mind and never came home. I knew in my heart that he was spending Mother’s Day which was his birthday with her and finally found an excuse to walk out on his family.
I can’t describe the overwhelming feeling of betrayel and sadness I felt in my soul and could not make sense of what was happening to me. I went to his job looking for him and ended up letting the command know what has been going on for 7 months. Now him, family and his friends are very upset with me because they think that I have tried to ruin his career which is not the case at all. I feel so humiliated and embarrassed but I continue to pray for a miracle and hope that God brings my husband back to us. I cry my self to sleep and can’t even think of moving on without my husband. We all miss him terribly! Our hearts are broken into a million pieces but I continue to have faith and pray that God restores my family. Please keep us in your prayers during this difficult time.
Amen I’m standing.
WITH GOD ALLTHINGS ARE POSSIBÑE!! Amen Geared! God bless you!
(GHANA) I love this. God bless you.
(RSA) I do admire you for your strength, patience and trust in God! After 39 years of marriage, (totally trusting my spouse) I had a rude awakening -as my husband works all over the world, my trust was always in God and thought the same about my husband (or so he made me believe). I feel betrayed by both God and my husband. He says everything he did was just a fantacy and enjoyed flirting! But why then, with girls younger than his own daughter? Thousands and thousands of rands was spent on gifts like perfumes, shoes, gold chains going to discos (at his age) buying expensive drinks etc. Whenever he was home, he was always tired. I always felt sorry for him having to work off-shore and then always ended up pampering him! Meantime, he was tired from all the partying!!! What a joke. Hes begged me to forgive him, but I am hurting soooooo much. In any case, I will keep on reading your stories for inspiration, and pray for all of us! God Bless to all whose been hurt. (My husband also asked God to forgive him.)
(USA) My husband and I are Christians and have been married for 29 years. He strayed when our children were around 6,8 & 9. I stood believing the Lord would bring him home and He did. However, there were many gaps in the relationships and roles he had with me and the children. Things we didn’t know to fix, and if we saw the problem, we didn’t know how to fix them. Fast-forward 20 years. Our oldest and youngest girls are married. There has been a certain measure of restoration with them and their dads relationship. The younger girl, because of a stressful situation of getting married one month and the next one, her new husband, a marine officer, starts flight school. There’s not ample opportunity to spend the time together that a newly married couple need to get to know each other on an intimate level as having never lived together. She’s working and finding new friends to keep herself busy with all of the school and study time her husband is having to put in. They are going to church most Sundays, but not there enough to develop relationships with people of like faith.
One thing leads to another and all of a sudden, after 1.5 years of marriage, and he still in flight school, she says that she is not happy and wants a divorce and moves out. She refuses to talk with any of her family and shuts us all out. All I can do is send her little encouraging texts and say things to make contact, but keep it light. She responds occasionally. She has blamed many things on her dad and I, him for living the way he did and being hard on them, and me for not taking or standing up for them more. Her husband graduates from flight school about 4 months later and convinces her to go with him to his next duty station and start things over. Because she knows what the Bible says about divorce, she decides to go with him and try to work on their relationship.
They have been at Camp Pendleton for 2.5 months, where he is doing his transition phase of his flight school… still a tremendous degree of school and study. Things are still tense between them, but they keep working on it and start going to counseling. One day he discovered some info on her computer that solidifies what he has thought since things began to go awry in their relationship… that she has had an affair with her boss. He confronted her about it, and she admitted to it and was repentant. But after a couple of weeks, the guilt and sin that the devil has trapped her in is too overwhelming; she packs up one day while he is at work and leaves. That was one day last week. Her dad and I and the rest of her siblings just found out Sunday night. 9-9-12
After many tears and heart breaking realizations, I know much of what she is going through is stemming from how many things never got resolved when they were young. Don’t misunderstand me, she is an adult and is answerable to God for her own actions; but none of us are islands unto ourselves and when one hurts, the whole body hurts. We definitely have had a part to play in all of this.
We are praying for her and I know how God can turn things around. For the most part, I have stopped crying, because that is a position of defeat. I know I will still shed a few, but I have decided to fight the devil with the truth of the word of God. I know that God watches over His word to perform it. All we have to do is have faith sand peak the word only. Just like Jesus told Jairus when the report came that his little girl was dead. Jesus paid a price for every transgression ever committed. The Bible says that when we do wrong, we condemn ourselves, and the devil is right there to fuel it. Sin makes us want to hide which is a large part of the reason she moved out and shut us all out of her life. We don’t condemn her, but she and the devil has; so she thinks we are party to it. We don’t agree with the sin, but we don’t condemn.
In looking for good sources of scriptures and what Christian perspectives are concerning these types of situations, I found this site and another one that I would like to share. Reading all of the stories of what these brothers and sisters have gone and are going through, especially for those that are believing for the other spouse to return or to forgive them and restore their marriage relationship, I found a site with the best explanation, through scripture, that I believe, accurately gives us the verbal ammunition that we can use to fight the adversary of our homes, marriages and families. Our battle is not with flesh and blood; it’s not with our spouse. It is our adversary, the devil, roaming about seeing whom he may devour.
I have news for him, this moma bear is not about to sit back and let him devour the precious girl God blessed our family and her husband with. I am going to use the word of God, my two edged sword, my tongue to take back what he has tried to steal. And God will watch over it to perform it. And I believe the same for all of you in your relationships and homes. I speak in faith for God to Bless you all!! http://www.cprmarriageministry.org/CPR_God_Restores_Marriages.html
PS: I believe walking this out in faith and prayer, will resolve and restore all of the unfinished business and ugliness that has been left dangling all of these years between my husband and I and with all of our children. Our homes will be as God has said they should be, heaven on earth. Amen
Hello everyone, My husband and I have been separated for almost two months and we have had by the grace of God one very close call to being completely reconciled even after my husband’s affair. He said he ended it with the other woman the same day we THOUGHT we had come back together once and for all but he wanted to take things slowly. I was hesitant. What would be the reason that HE needed more time?
Needless to say, he called it quits with me once again. This was just a few days ago! Following an awful argument and his family trying to counsel us through it due to my discovery he had yet again resumed his affair, I went home and dropped to my knees. I went home and prayed like there was not another moment I’d live. I felt it wasn’t enough so I cried out at the top of my lungs! Then it dawned on me that I had not because I asked not. In other words, I wasn’t being specific enough. “One thing at a time my child” is exactly what I heard the Holy Spirit tell me. I couldn’t throw out all of these demands to God and expect it all answered all at once.
SO… I stopped, took a deep breath, and realized I needed to trust God with the timing too, no matter how long it takes for my prodigal husband to be returned to me and our Lord, I laid it all down at God’s feet and surrendered it all once and for all. I prayed hedges of thorns around my husband, which I still will do every day. I pleaded the blood of Jesus over our marriage for protection from evil, and by the power of God, I commanded any evil forces of adultery, lust, lying, and other forms of sin away from my husband and my marriage, back to hell with satan and his influences.
Then my first specific request- Lord speak to my husband so loud and clear that he cannot sleep, eat or do anything until he turns from his offenses. Some time went on and I felt another nudge to pray for my husband again, asking for another request (you can’t see what the Lord is doing on behalf of your wayward spouse but believe me the faith you have WILL be rewarded, He is doing amazing things you can’t imagine behind the scenes). I said, Lord, soften my husbands heart that he agrees to counseling with me today.
Before I was even done praying, my mother in law wrote me on messenger and said, “he agreed.” My mouth wouldn’t stop trembling and my eyes filled with tears in joy. How amazing is our God that He delivers before we even finish our thought? With all of this being said, Jesus and our Father in Heaven have both made their amazing abilities so tangible in my life through this journey. I do not speak to my husband and haven’t since I left the other day. BUT GOD. My mother in law said she told my husband to end his relationship with the other woman to be sure if there is a fighting chance that our marriage is something worth saving. She didn’t pressure him so clearly, the Lord spoke to him. Please don’t lose hope for your lost spouses. I am not 100% sure my husband has ended his affair but I do have my confidence in God and my faith. There is power in the name of Jesus, anything you ask.. you will receive.
Hi Jane. Thank you for sharing what you did. I pray the Lord keeps speaking assuringly to you, and speaks conviction to your husband. I’m thankful with you that his mother doesn’t side with her son in his sin, but is trying, along with you, to wake him up. I’m not sure if your husband says that he loves this woman, but we have an article posted on this web site that came to mind to have you read. I doubt whether he would read it or not, but we can both pray that it will help in some way, so you can stand all the more firmly. It can be found at: https://marriagemissions.com/choosing-spouse-lover-love/.
I pray God’s comfort for you, and strength, and hope, despite the darkness surrounding your husband. May you feel the Lord’s love, and experience His grace and peace.
Hi, I am in pain by my own hand. I cheated on my wife and it hurts me so much. Here is my summary of my story…I hope you will read on and I hope it will help you to know you are not alone. I still need some help and request any guidance from hopefully some who have gone through this.
I met my wife when I was 16 and married at 23…I am now 33. We have two kids ages 6 and 3. I would be a liar to say that our relationship was bliss…it was undoubtedly rocky, but we married and have two beautiful kids and a beautiful life. I have struggled for many years with the lack of affection and intimacy in our marriage. She is not one to hold hands, cuddle or even hug me in a way that I felt valued. The hug a loved one deserves. Sex was not often, but it did happen and although I enjoyed it and she enjoyed it, I felt like it was an item on her list to be checked off for the week or month. I spoke of this many times with her(not just sex, but my emotional requests), but her response was “this is who I am, either accept it or leave”.
She loves me and I never doubted that, but I always felt I was missing out on something. I would see other couples gazes, touches and I would be jealous. I lusted heavily…whether it was a woman that passed me by or a figure of my imagination. Regardless of my inner feelings, I knew deep down that I was above cheating on her and doing so was not an option. Outside of my emotional needs she and I are great parents. Our kids get our undivided attention daily. We raise them well, work life is wonderful and blessed and our health is blessed. So why did I make such a mistake?
My wife and I never spent time together unless it was at home watching TV. She is a homebody and I am an outgoing person…it would clash, but I would settle because she has so much to offer on the family side of things versus the relationship side of things. Deep down I “felt” that I would leave her if we did not have kids. She never held me back from going out. I would go to local games or hang out with friends respectfully and honorably, but I would remember my drive home looking at the empty passenger seat just wishing she or someone was sitting there. In the month or two leading up to this she had started being more exposed due to kids after school activities. She was forced to be out more, converse more and it was great for her. She was changing. (I feel I have been typing for some time and if you are still reading this then I greatly thank you!)
I am a Christian man with faith in God. I would be a liar to say I prayed daily. Although I would thank God for my kids, my blessings, ask for their safety and prayer for those in need…I look back and feel as if my prayers were just words pouring out of my mouth as if I had not felt God in me yet, but just had been raised to know he was there. I do go to church every Sunday and for the past year I have been the volunteer for the childrens church. I have always been an honest person, a do good person, charitable, helpful, a yes man, a smile in the room, etc, etc. I felt highly of myself…maybe too highly.
I have never been a judgemental person nor a person to hold grudges. I am trying to paint a picture of myself for whomever reads this, but enough about me. So, in November of 2016 I went out of town to a college football game with a few friends. This was my first time ever experiencing a “guys trip”. I drink alcohol on occasion, but was never one to get drunk…never liked the feeling. That day I drank a lot. Watched the game, it ended very late and we went out on the town to enjoy the victory.
To sum up what happened next, I met someone who showed interest in me, was willing and then the unthinkable happened. I had time to stop it from happening, but I remember being thoughtless. I didnt think of my wife, my kids, God, or even a condom. It was very quick and then she was gone. I remember it happening, but luckily don’t have an image of her, don’t have a feeling of what it felt like or anything. I had drank over 12 beers over the course of 11 hours, but I don’t recall having drank too much to blame that…I cannot blame alcohol. Immediately a wave of guilt rushed through me. I had broken something in me. I failed my values, my kids, my wife and what I see now most importantly is God.
I tried to sleep, but could not. I was in the darkest place I have ever been and never knew a dark place like that existed. I drove home the next day not knowing what my next steps were, but knew I needed to think this through. I had come to the conclusion that I was going to keep this a secret, why? Because I knew that I had made a horrific mistake, but knew it was not a mistake that would ever be repeated. The thought of thinking of another woman disgusted me. I got tested a few days later and the test came back clean. However, not 30 seconds would go by that I did not think of what happened…counting my steps and wishing I could turn back the hands of time. This lasted a long time. I feared karma, God, felt that something was going to happen to my family because of me, because I had disrupted my life and created a ripple in everyones around me.
Inside I was struggling with the notion of telling her. I felt that something in our marriage needed to be fixed and keeping this to myself would never fix that nor would I be able to fix myself. I was numb on the inside, but still was able to maintain the great dad, coach, husband and childrens church teacher on the outside. I did come to realize that I needed to tell her. My values were too high to keep this to myself. I’d rather risk losing everything and be thrown out in the snow than to be unfaithful and dishonest.
A planned to wait til after Christmas so to not ruin my kid’s Christmas and forever in their lives they would be reminded of their parents separation at Christmas time.
I didnt make it. I broke down to her 3 days before Christmas. I didn’t mean to. The truth did not come out clear though…I told her that I stopped it right as it happened. I think I lied her because I meant to hold this til after Christmas. She was upset and hurt as expected. We talked that night and to my surprise she did not kick me out. The day after Christmas I confessed to her that it did happen, that I could have stopped it. I told her what I had learned from this though. I told her I did not intend to do this and that I am a changed person. I stopped finding all the negative in her and focused on the positive. I was able to let go of some of our past that I deep down was not forgiving although I though I had. I was able to love her for who she is and that God put her in my life for a reason. I realized what I had and how valuable it was. I was not sugar coating this to make her stay with me, it’s real and I feel for her in a way I have never.
It has been over a month now…we are doing great. My new found love for her was not just an emotion from the event. I truly love her more and thank God for her which I don’t know if I ever did before. She hugs me differently…it’s not just part of the routine.
I truly pray to God and thank him for these new feelings. I wish I could have learned them without this awful experience, but I am a different man and would not want to be the husband I was prior to this. I was a good husband, but inside my thoughts I was already cheating on her.
So yes…all seems well right? However, I still struggle with the guilt of this. I have cried even in the past week. She was aware of this and tells me I have to be strong for her and the kids. She cannot deal with her own emotions and then mine on top…especially when she was not the cheater. I speak to a pastor and he helps me and I know in time consistent peace will be upon me, but as of now I still struggle to ease the weight of guilt. I have repented, I have accepted what has happened, I have praise for the good coming from this…many times daily. I have asked God for forgiveness and I truly know he has granted it to me. I feel that I have forgiven myself, but is it normal to still be feeling the pain I feel? Sometimes I struggle to free my mind of going back there, constantly thinking of “if I only this or if I only that”. Seeing a picture before that day and wishing I could go back, etc, etc.
Any guidance would be greatly appreciated. I have guidance in my life right now, people to trust and our Godly to lean to but still struggle. Perhaps it is expected. It has been only 10 weeks since the incident, this takes time right? To those of you going through this, please share. for those of you who have gone through this then please share. For those of you who are the victim and are working things out, please know if your spouse is truly sorry then they too are deeply wounded by their actions and in need of healing and support. It should not be your job to give this to them, but I would suggest that if you are working it out with your spouse then let them know that they are truly forgiven by you, by God and they need to let Jesus carry the weight as is his promise.
I have faith in God and Jesus, but holding hands and praying is not something my wife does. I pray that to change. I dont expect us to throw I Love Jesus bumper stickers on the back of our cars, stop listening to mainstream music or avoid a curse word here or there…but I do hope I find pure peace and secondly hope that God talks to her heart.
I have been writing for some time and do not even have time to proof read. I love the world, respect its living things both human and animal. My morals are so high that the weight of this is crushing. Pray for me and once again I ask for any guidance or story to show that I one day will wake up and my first thought not be what it is. With much Love – Me!
I am replying to my own post. The simple answer is letting go. Accept what has happened and that it cannot be changed, be honest with those whom were affected by it, ask for forgiveness from them and from God, accept his forgiveness (I mean really accept that it is pure and true). Then move on from the past a better person. God does not want a broken soul. He wants a clean soul and regardless of your history, he looks at you clean. If God can forgive you then who are you to not forgive yourself? If you cannot forgive yourself then essentially you are saying that your standards are higher than Gods…are they?
The person who made a mistake is not you anymore. I am not a worse person for my mistake. I am simply a good person who made a mistake and I will let this mistake turn me into a better person. I will not repeat the mistake in no way shape or form, nor will it even be a thought in my mind as it once was. I will help others around me who I see going down that road…or any road that can bring so much trouble to the clear conscience.
Day by day I will continue to be strong and look forward. Even though my past will come to mind…I will thank the change it brought. I do not want to be the person I was prior to that one life changing event. I thought of myself as being a good husband prior to this, but now realize how much more I have to offer. It truly is a wonderful feeling that came from an unfortunate event, but I am happy to be who I am.
Good luck. Please still post if you come across this. I will check back from time to time in an effort to be there for someone. One last thing. Whomever you are in this world you will compare your situation to others, you will wonder why you are so troubled yet so many men and women cheat and easily go about their day. That is not a gift they have …remember that. Your troubled heart is the gift! Grow it and let it beat on!!!
To the person who manages this website – any comment? You clearly read a lot of posts and I would love to hear your reply. Please do not send me an email…I do now know the password to the email I used to post this. Feel free to erase this portion of my comment. Thanks!
Wayne, Cindy and I thank you for sharing your story/testimony. We hope you realize just how fortunate you are that your wife was willing to forgive and extend grace to you. This is pretty rare after a spouse confesses adultery to their partner. But don’t be surprised if there comes a time when she starts to struggle with her emotions/feelings over this. Often times there is a delayed reaction, much like PTSD. And don’t forget that Satan will do whatever he can to stir up these feelings in her in an attempt to still divide your marriage. At some point she may need to be included in your counseling sessions with your pastor, or even go alone.
What you wrote serves as a warning to others of how vulnerable we all are to fall into sin; especially a sin we “think” we would NEVER do. Your testimony is living proof of 1 Peter 5:8, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” And there’s no doubt that any use of alcohol can set us up even more to fall into the enemy’s trap as our defenses are lowered.
Wayne, if you continue to put the Lord first in your life, learn from His word, learn to cherish your wife and pour into her life, a day will come when you wake up the furthest thing from your mind will be what “happened in the past.” But the Lord will always use what happened to serve as a reminder of how dependent you will need to be on Him to never repeat your behavior.
One thing Cindy and I believe you can do to really rebuild your marriage on a solid footing is for you and your wife to read together the book Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?
by Gary Thomas. It will give the both of you the strongest foundation to move forward in a new way.
Thanks again for sharing here. We know that while you may never hear from anyone else who reads your story, it will still have a great impact on anyone who reads it and God can use it in a powerful way in someone else’s life. Blessings! ~Steve Wright
Hello Wayne, After reading your post I realized that I could not relate more. I am also the cheater and can recall God telling me that it was going to hurt me if I did this (and I did not believe Him). We are trying to use this book called Torn Asunder by Dave Carder, hopefully this may help you too (although this is about 3 years later).
My response will also be my testimony. Although he is still currently my boyfriend, this situation was as serious as if we were a married couple. It is my prayer that we can still get married and have kids but it is overall up to my boyfriend.
So I have been introduced to sex starting at a young age and from then on have engaged in sexual immorality on/off for years. I considered myself to be saved at some point, but did not confess these sins to anyone but God. Therefore, I convinced myself and others (mainly my boyfriend), that I was an innocent and exemplary Christian. In the beginning of my relationship I assured my boyfriend that I wanted us to last. He told me at some point that if I wanted to date around in college and come back to him, I could. He was very mature, but I did not think about the bigger picture and told him that I would be fine even though we were long distance.
I worked at a Christian camp one summer that I lived at for a few months and some of the male counselors flirted with me and I did not handle things well. A friend of mine shared with me how I have the ability to lead people on because of being too nice/friendly. Nothing happened, no kiss, no sex, but someone was trying to convince me to be with this dude knowing that I have a man.
Finally, my boyfriend and I had a conversation about this situation but everything was not resolved. My boyfriend has told me that he would still love me if I cheated, and me not considering my past and how it could potentially affect me told him “me and you are like married; I can’t cheat on you.” But when I realized that I was toxic and wanted to take a break from our relationship so that I can change for the better and not hurt him, he feared that I would use that time to cheat.
So I went with his emotions and fears and stayed with him. Soon I began to get a little tired of him, have less patience for him, and since he was my best friend and lover (and the person I would spend the most time with since my friends sucked), I started treating him as a friend more. He would be the one to show more affection (even spoiled me), and I just knew something was missing in how I would normally act in relationships (but I didn’t know what it was). My boyfriend and I were so close because we were so transparent with each other. Unfortunately, I kept my sexual past from him so he fell in love with me not knowing the full real me.
This whole time my boyfriend and I were long distance. At one point we were in different states and visited each other when we could. So he would drive and pay tolls to see me when he could. I would travel to see him by commute but it was always easier if he drove. Once we were both in the same state he was at home with his parents and I was still dorming on campus. On campus I became lonely and it brought me back to a time in my life where I was forced to be independent. His mother would bother him if he was with me, and that is something I got fed up with.
Since my boyfriend and I could not be together as often as we wanted to, I began searching for new friends. I was the outgoing one in the relationship and was tired of doing things by myself when he was not with me. As the people on campus I called friends canceled on me 3 weeks in a row I got desperate and recalled a past friend telling me that I could make friends on Tinder. I put myself in an environment of lust without realizing it. Told my boyfriend about me being on Tinder and there were mixed messages sent/received between us. I tried deleting the app multiple times but was often bored as all my classes were online and I enjoyed texting a bunch of people. I made some female friends but they did not hang out with me in person.
I caught feelings for one of the dudes I was talking to and he was the first person I met up with. I told my boyfriend about him because he was supposed to be my friend. He canceled on me last minute and I told my boyfriend. Then in the morning we ended up linking and I did not tell my boyfriend. After that one time I spent with him I was so interested in spending more time with him and I told an older friend in a relationship about what happened and all she said was “don’t do it”. I was going to her for accountability; she was agreeing with me that what the boy did was nice (gave me a lot of money for food and paid for my train ticket).
He started to text me less after and it seemed impossible to hang out with him again because of him. I only wanted to do it with him at the time but I knew I would not be nearby him for long. I ended up meeting with one other boy (wanted to have sex but did not) and had 2 one night stands (the second one felt pressured but I should have deleted the app). I opened the door to the old me by listening to certain music, cursing, not attending chapel, not praying to God or reading my word. I was falling out and became numb as well as dead inside. I did not think about the bigger picture of how any of this would affect my relationship because I made a selfish plan to never tell him.
After the 2nd one night stand (which happened when I first returned home from campus after not being with my boyfriend and canceled going to the movies with him), I told him what happened. I never heard someone cry so heart broken-ed :(. We stayed together because who else to cry to and discuss things with than each other. But he began treating me as if he did not want to be with me. And my unhealed self made the mistake of not cutting off everyone that was convincing me to cheat on my man. During the time I would talk to these people I was only focusing on the negatives surrounding my boyfriend (things that were and weren’t even his fault). I wanted to confront my boyfriend himself about the thing he did that bothered me but he was overall nice I just told myself to forget it (but I only put it to the side).
After he was aware of me cheating (2 one night stands) I linked with another boy (no sex but we made out), my boyfriend knew about him and told me not to see him. But I did see him thinking that I had to hurry up and live my life doing the most because Y.O.L.O. Again, I was going to try to keep this to myself because we did not have sex.
But yeah, now everything is on the table. I am hurt looking back on how I could have gotten a better job that summer and spent more time with my boyfriend or how I was given an opportunity to move back home (and again make more money/spend more time with my boyfriend) but I did not pray about my decisions.
I love my boyfriend and am so aware how rare he has always been especially now as he stayed with me. I embarrassed him and I do not want to be without him. I am changing for the better as you read this (turning over a new leaf). I have been receiving counseling on this, and reading what God has to say about this. I try to see this as we love each other but we are still growing as people (we went through so many things as a couple, wrong on both ends but mostly mine).
And as far as me cheating I did not leave him before and after doing so, even though I talked about doing that with two people because I did not want to be without him (toxic ik). I also feel like God told me to never leave him, but I think I forgot the part (never forsake him). I see how much I hurt him and affect him and pray for him and try to find ways to help him heal. I want him to heal from this regardless if we stay together or not (although I want to be with him still).
I appreciate ANY replies. I want to write a book on how to not cheat and how to not give into temptation whatever the circumstance may be. God Bless as I am praying for the people on this portion of this website for what pleases God and what God wants for our lives to happen as we obey.
Hi, My name is Ewurama and I’d like to share what I’m currently going through with others. My fiancé and I started dating 4 years ago. It was a good start until after a year when he suddenly changed towards me. He wouldn’t pick my calls, wouldn’t let me visit, will call once in 2 weeks. I was confused and felt rejected but I just wanted to do everything to save the relationship. I held on an extra year and decided to give up so we broke up for about 3 months.
Within those 3 months an old friend came around and I quickly jumped into his arms. Honestly I started dating my friend because of the loneliness and rejection I felt. After the 3 months, my fiancé came asking me back and since I love him I went back to dating him. Under normal circumstances I should have stopped seeing my friend but I couldn’t. He was always there for me, showed me all the care I could ever get. And he wanted to marry me but I refused and stuck to my decision to go back to my fiancé. I prayed to the Lord to help me out of the situation. Eventually I was able to break off with my friend. We stopped seeing each other. My fiancé did not change much after we got back together but I kept praying for him and having faith that things will get better.
I was also dreading the fact that if he finds out about my friend and I it will be disastrous just when God answers my prayers and my fiancé and I are having a perfect relationship and we are preparing to finally get married, he finds out about the affair. And now he just so hates me and doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. I have pleaded with him several times and prayed to God to help save my relationship but everything seems not to be working. I’m beginning to lose hope that things will ever get better. I need help.
My husband and I have been separated for 8 months. We parted due to an alcohol addiction. He has had multiple affairs and began abusing cocaine and crystal meth since he left. He shows remorse but continues to abandon us. I have been standing in the gap for 8 months praying for his salvation and marriage restoration.
When I first found out about the other woman I fell to my knees and cried unto God to take my pain of betrayal away. God healed my broken heart. I surrendered my life and marriage to God and asked for healing. He has taken all my pain and healed my brokenness. My husband is still abusing drugs and filling his void with women but it does not hurt for me. God is amazing. I will keep praying for my husband and wait on the Lord to bring my husband home. In the meantime I am learning to live while God works on the both of us.
Patsy I’m praying for you and your husband. Praise the lord for keeping your faith alive.
I’m waiting on the Lord to heal me and take my pain away. I’ve asked, I’ve prayed but the enemy is working hard to keep me trapped in my hurts, fear and doubts. My husband and I are both turning to God and working on growing our relationship with Him both seperately and together. The enemy knows through this crisis my husband has found salvation and freedom from internal hurts that he bottled up for years and a childhood incident that left him completely broken for over 35 years. Married for 25 years and just now hearing about his story in painful detail it brings some light to how some hurts can manifest into bad choices but it doesn’t make it easier. The enemy is working on reclaiming the man who turned his back on God for many heart breaking experiences in his life. If this happened for my husbands salvation, so be it. The Lord will see us through.
I wanna be a member of this forum; someone should show me the link to register.
Hi, Donna. Well, there is no “official” membership. If you would like to subscribe to our weekly Marriage Insight just go to our home page and click on the “Subscribe” button top submit your e-mail address. Then you would receive it in your inbox every weekend. Other than that all you need to do is read an article and then post your comments, if you feel so inclined.
Mine is a long post. I was in a relationship with a man I love so much for 3 years. We were madly in love as I thought. He did my introduction on 2nd week of January 2017. We were both planning for our wedding, which he fixed the date to be on August 2017. Prior to the month of the wedding we started having minor issues, which were from him. He kept on complaining and saying lots of things that his friends and family people said he shouldn’t marry me and so on. I said okay, no problem. He begged me and said he only formulated the lies to know what I will do. I accepted his apology and we continued with the wedding preparation.
After one week, he called me that he is not sure if the wedding will commence in August that we should shift it to December 2017 on the grounds that he doesn’t have enough money with him. I accepted wholeheartedly. We have gone for marriage course, our names have been called in the church (Bans for marriage) and just last two weeks he broke up with me officially.
I keep asking him why the breakup, he couldn’t give me a genuine reasons. I asked him again if people ask you why did we broke-up, what will be your reason? He couldn’t answer. I was so devastated. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t do anything. I feel like dying. My heart was paining me to the extent that I thought I won’t be able to survive that night. I haven’t witnessed heartbreak before and I wouldn’t wish it to my worst enemy. I thank God that I survived that night, days and week and I am still surviving.
I told him one thing that night. I told him that I will be celebrated and it will be in a bigger way and I keep making this declaration every minute of my life and I pray that God Almighty will see me through and as Esther in the Bible was celebrated and favored. I too will be celebrated and favored. Thanks for reading. I am sorry for the long post. Esther
Esther, I am so sorry for your broken heart. There is no doubt that you were wronged, from what you wrote. And for that, I am truly sad for you.
But I also have to say that you are also blessed that he has not married you. If this is how he approaches matters that disturb him–by lying, tricking you, plus shutting you out, not giving you explanations, etc… he is showing you that he does not want to partner with a wife but more or less wants to do things his way, and doesn’t care what his wife/partner would think. At the very least, he owes you a truthful explanation as to why he doesn’t want to marry you. I wonder how much future heartbreak you were spared by not marrying him.
I pray the Lord brings a GOOD man into your life–one that loves God and will love you as God would have him.
Hi my name is Amanda. Next month will make 11 years of marriage for me and my husband. A week before Christmas I found out that my husband has been cheating on me for about 2 1/2 years. He has been having short affairs with a few woman and says he ends up breaking things off with them because he feels bad and hates what he is doing to me and our family (we have to small boys). I love my husband dearly. We don’t have a bad marriage. At least I have never thought so.
He is begging me to forgive him and somewhere deep down in my heart I know I want to too. But I am just so crushed and heart broken. I dont understand how he can say that he loves and wants to stay with me after all that he has done. I have prayed, he has prayed but I am just so lost. I stumbled across this site in search for others who were about to fix things in there marriage after such devastating news. I need some assurances from both the faithful and the unfaithful side. I can’t trust his word anymore. I feel as if he is just so scared to lose his family that he is saying anything to hold on and once this passes he will be back to cheating again. Help please!
My husband and I have been married for 5 years and He he has had an affair for the last 2 years with another woman with me just finding out a about 10 months ago. He said he ended it. However I am finding out that he didn’t. He got into some trouble and is currently in jail. Prior to going in we agreed to give our marriage another shot about 8 months ago. There wasn’t any contact that I know of until recently.
We have been implementing God in to our lives daily trying to create a stronger bond between God and ourselves, individually and collectively and I felt more connected to him than ever before. However this past week has been a struggle. I found out that she went to visit him and his calls have stopped but I have gotten letters. The last time I talked to him on the phone I could tell something had changed as the conversation was not the same. He was short with me and he’s never like that; he a talker.
I’m really debating on leaving and moving on with my life but something keeps me longing for him. I know God does not approve of divorce. Please help pray for our marriage. I know nothing is impossible for God.
(CANADA) Hello, I am the one who cheated in my relationship and we haven’t even gotten married. We had two kids together and we have been together almost FIVE years now. I cheated for 3 years of our relationship with multiple women including escorts. I received a really great promotion at my job and I had to live at a family members place temporarily 2.5 hours away.
We had been living at my parents place up to this point and with COVID 19 going on and me actually catching it I had to work remotely from my family members place. I felt really convicted, as before I met her I let Jesus into my heart. Now, I sent her a really long detailed letter of all my transgressions and how I wanted to marry her and make it work. I was delivered from my lust and I became free from so much. I don’t live in the shadows anymore and I feel God working in me every day to try and help her forgive me and men. It’s crazy. My work payed first and last at my new basement apartment and she really wanted to get out of my parents place and now we all live together with her brother as well. Every day is difficult as moods change and things are said. But as Christ moves to be the centre of my life slowly each day her words effect me less.
I love my family more then anything and I want to make this work and be the person she deserves to be with. God saved me and I hope he can save this relationship so we can be together and get married. Until then it’s no fap no sex for a very long time. No matter how hard things are the truth always sets you free. To anyone reading this I hope you can find forgiveness in a cheating spouse because for me it was an addiction. It does not justify anything but God is very real. Thanks for reading.
Hi there, I’m currently facing divorce. I cheated repeatedly on my wife, and now we are facing a divorce and I’m trying to restore my marriage. I really, really need help how can I or… Please help.