The following are “Real Life” unbelieving spouse testimonies we have gathered for those who are married to someone who doesn’t live for the Lord. We believe you will learn through what they have to say and will prayerfully find hope through reading what they have lived through and have learned through.
It’s not just what you live through that is important but what you live through and learn through and pass onto others. That is why we encourage you to read these testimonies.
Please prayerfully read through these testimonies and see how God speaks to you as you live with your unbelieving spouse.
May you be blessed as you apply what God teaches you.
Unbelieving Spouse Testimonies:
• MY HUSBAND DOESN’T SHARE MY FAITH
• ISSUES OF ENVY AND LONELINESS AND LOW SELF ESTEEM
• INTERVIEW WITH NANCY KENNEDY
• WHEN YOUR SPOUSE DOESN’T BELIEVE
• MISMATCHED MARRIAGE: When One Spouse is an Unbeliever
ALSO:
• THE ARDUOUS JOURNEY OF BEING MARRIED TO A NON-BELIEVING MAN
• UNEQUALLY YOKED: A CALL TO PRAYER
• 10 PRAYERS THAT I PRAYED FOR MY HUSBAND
If God has given you a testimony, a personal experience you have lived through in living with an unbelieving spouse your marriage— one that could help and encourage others, we would appreciate it if you would write it down and send it to us— even if what you have to write isn’t very long in length.
Please share your testimony with us by going to the CONTACT US section. After clicking on “Contact Us” then writing it out for us there.
If you want to remain anonymous, please let us know. We will not to reveal your name and the name(s) of your loved ones if that is your wish. Our aim is to encourage others, not to embarrass anyone.
(SA) I’ve been following the notes, as it’s nice hearing what other people think of their own circumstances. I am a Christian, my husband is also but not born again.
We have been separated for the past 7 months now. He’s been very much in touch with me and kids financially, 2 events. But we had this disagreement for years of him coming home late every evening which resulted in us being cold towards each other at home. I in the end found that he was having a serious affair and he moved out.
He came to me 2 weeks ago asking if he could come back home as he misses the children. I however rejected that because I needed a commitment from him that he will change his ways which he couldn’t give.
Last week he asked to come to church with us, which I agreed to. We went for an altar call and he was holding my hand. It looks to me that he wants to be with us, but something is holding him back to commit.
I’m now questioning myself on whether I must let him come as this move came from him. Maybe God is finally working on him. I want to handle this matter in a Christian way, but do not want to compromise my standards. Am I right.????
(NIGERIA) I can imagine your hurt and pain but PLEASE, I am sure this is a way the Lord is using to bring back your home. Your husband may not want to commit himself in any way right now but follow the word of God on obeying your husband to the last. Even if what you really want to do is work away. I am sure you will see a turn around. It has worked for Christians in the past and I am sure it will work for you. God bless you.
(US) Response to Jacqui… "that which you compromise to keep..you will surely lose."
Don’t compromise. Let the Lord work on him and he will show you and give you confirmation in your spirit whether to let him back in or not. If you have to think too long about it, keep praying. Until you get a peace in our spirit about it don’t act on anything. Wait in God!
I am saved and I’m in a relationship with a non-believer whom I have known for a few years. Prior to our relationship I have been through so much with saved and unsaved men. Dragged through the dirt. I finally have a man that loves me and shows me. He treats me like a queen. He is everything that I want in a man, except being saved :(. He does not desire Jesus but states he believes in God. I am older and I feel like if things don’t work out then it’s never going to happen. I come from a family where no one is married. I love the lord. He wants to get married and so do I. Just keep me in prayer. Thank you and God Bless Everyone . Trusting the lord.
(UNITED STATES) Jacqui, pray over your husband, and your marriage. Plead the blood of Jesus over him and your union… and read 1 Corinthians 7:12-14.
(USA) I’m a reborn christian and I have been dating this guy for a few months now. He is unsaved… at the time when I met him I had walked astray from the word of God, but while dating him I slowly began to find my way back to the Lord. He knew that I used to be a Christian woman before I met him but had stumbled in my path. When we met I told him that and that I eventually would get back right with God; and that I surely did.
I’ve been praying for his salvation and he also has a son from a previous relationship… which kind of makes me emotional because he loves his son so dearly and gets so happy when he talks about him. But I get sad because I’ve come to realize that I’m unable to have children… the other day he made an agreement with me that he would go to church and I was so excited to hear that but he had worked the night before and was to tired to wake up in the morning.
I am trying all that I possibly could and I’m asking now that others will join me in prayer for his salvation as well as his son’s salvation.
(GERMANY) When I met my husband, I was a Christian but unsaved. We were both using drugs at the time. I knew he was an atheist and it did’nt bother me then. I became a re-born Christian whilst being separated from him more than a year ago. We are back together again and have a 2 year old daughter. I have 2 other children from previous relationships.
He has finally decided to go for rehab and therapy but he is still using. I am continuously praying for him to have his eyes opened to what he is doing to us and also for his salvation. It has been a year now and I don’t know if I can take this much longer. I know what the Bible says in 1Peter 3 verse 1-6. Will I be sinning?
I am living in a country where I know no one except his family. I have no means of income and totally dependent on him. He even refuses to open a bank account for me. I really love him and praying for a miracle!
(ENGLAND) I became a Christian when i was 17. I had a deep desire to serve God with my whole heart and to live a life for Him. I had many amazing experiences with God, but despite that I fell away and got pregnant and married an unbeliever at 22. I never gave up my faith in God but I turned my back on living according to the word. The results were detrimental and I was very unhappy in a very emotionally abusive relationship. I had no trust for my husband and was sure he was cheating on me. He was also emtionally absent which can be as painful and the cheating. After 3 years together I gave my life back to God whole heartedly and agreed to follow him in obedience even if that meant walking away from my marriage. I can imagine that many people are thinking in their head that God would never ask us to walk away from a marriage, but bear with me.
Giving my life back to God happened in the August and in the December I had a dream/vision of where my husband had commited adultery. It was 6 in the morning and I woke him up and told him. He had stayed out all night back in the July. The following two weeks he told me I was crazy and even screamed at me in front of our one year old son. At the time I was training to be a nurse and my husband had an office job but often didn’t go to work. I felt that another reason he was with me was because I had helped him out of debt when we first met. After the horrible two weeks he stayed out all night again.
The time this had happened previously I had rung the hospitals and stayed awake all night crying but this time I cried for a few hours and then prayed. I felt the Lord asked me would I forgive him if it meant his salvation? In my heart I answered yes, then I fell asleep. In the morning he returned home and I kicked him out. God provided somewhere for him to stay. This was 18 months ago. During that time I knew if I had begged him he would have come home, but I have not felt this is right. God has taken me on a big journey of faith and showed me many times through many different prophecies that he will save my husband and our family will be reconcilled and even serve him, which is my hearts desire, but I know that God does not advocate abuse and especially in the same house as children.
It grieves me so deeply that I read many testimonies of women being advised to take back an adulterer, abusive husbands before they have repented, often to leave again. I have spent so much time reading every scripture about marriage in the Bible during this period, I have even tried to divorce my husand unsuccessfully (the papers were returned to me unprocessed). I believe God can restore marriages and heal broken relationships, but I believe this is something HE will do. No man can ever be saved by our good deeds or by complete submission. Not that these are bad things, but it is God who needs to open the eyes of their heart. I believe that God wants to bind up the broken hearted and heal women who have been in abusive marriages not throw them back into the frying pan befre they themselves have drawn near to the Father for healing.
I am not saying there is not a time where we will have to take back husbands who have caused much pain. But I think it’s only right when God opens that door and a truly repentant man returns to you. Without Christ in his heart no man can change, no matter how hard he tries. I also think God cares deeply for the children in these circumstances. My little boy is 3 now and he is so much happier than when me and his father were together. I do my utmost to never let him see adults being abusive. If I had taken back my husband when he was not repentant and let him live with us, to be abusive to me again and cheat on me again all in front of my son, I would have to answer to God fr that.
God is showing himself faithful in the restoration of my marriage and I can see many many changes both in my heart and my husband’s. But I thank God he has kept me and my son in his safe dwelling away from the battle in my husbands life. God showed me that I had once gone after my husband before, in an attempt to share the gospel with him and bring him to Jesus and I ended up married to an unbeliever. So this time I am staying with my heavenly Father while Jesus goes to the darkness to save my husband.
I have learnt so many lessons about submission, holding my tongue, being encouraging etc to my husband but while I am still safely dwelling in the shadow of the almighty. God is LOVE and he is our healer and our restorer. That does not mean we have to be abused and say we are doing it for Christ. We are showing our children how to love and be loved and by permitting abuse we are saying to them that is ok. In Hosea it is after God takes Gomer into the wilderness and hedges her in and speaks words of loving kindness over her, that Hosea takes her back. The prodigal son, leaves his father’s house when he is in rebellion and returns with a repentant heart. There may be other Christians in the dark that can reach out to your spouse, but we have to be at that place where we would still praise God even if they are never to return before God can bring them back.
It took over a year before I tried to stop fixing it myself and gave my husband to Jesus in my heart. That is when I started to see God’s miracles. When I said I would follow Jesus to the ends of the earth even if my husband never returned home, that’s when I started to feel healed. Many times we cling to our husband because we can’t face the rejection. But if we let go and trust God that is when he can give us back healthy marriages. I have read many testimonies of restored marriages where it seems the emotional abuse still takes place and it really upsets me. When God does a work it is full and complete and brings new life. I want to encourage anyone who is waiting for a marriage to be restored that God can make all things new and is our healer. But he does not want his children to be abused and say it is for him they are bearing it.
I hope and pray that I haven’t caused any offence. I have felt this on my heart since I came into my situation 18 months ago but didn’t know what to say. I was still in the place where I thought that I would have to accept back my husband before he had repented and live a horrible life where I was a doormat and my husband might at some point become a Christian and then maybe life would get better. Since then I have read some wonderful books that really helped me. Redeeming Love
, by Francine Rivers, How to Pray When He Doesn’t Believe by Mo Tizzard, to name a few. The Bible does ask us to submit to our husbands and in the same sentence it tells our husbands to love their wives like they love the Lord. We must put scripture in context. The Bible tells children to obey their parents and this is correct, but there are circumstances where we would overide that for the sake of the child’s safety. If a child was being abused we would of course help them and take them to a place of safety and the scripture would be overridden.
When Jesus healed on the Sabbath and religious leaders condemned him for it he said to them don’t you understand the sabbath is for you and not for God, can you not use to do good? God gave us the Bible for our good and he wants us to have a life of freedom in Christ. You are God’s child and he loves you so much. Please before accepting abuse consider, am I suffering because I can’t let go or am I suffering because Jesus has asked me too? That is all I am asking.
(USA) I started dating my husband as a freshman in high school. We dated and lived together for 6 years before I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart. This is when I became saved. We married 2 months later due to my conviction of living in sin. He had a choice, we split or we get married. I knew we should not have been unequally yoked and went against Gods word, believing that because my husband said he was saved it was enough. In my heart, I knew he was truly not. 1 child, and 15 years or marriage later he walked out.
After 21 years he walked away and is having an affair that he still denies to a wicked woman that at one time I called my best friend. During our marriage I was still walking in the way and path of unbelievers and it doesn’t take long for sin and the enemy to overpower a person who is saved but not walking in grace. It took me losing my husband to get this. I know God has allowed this to happen to draw me closer to him. He has called me! He wants me to rely on him, trust in him, pray to him, worship him, yield to him. This my friends is not easy unless you truly give it all to him. God can do great things when you surrender it all and lay everything at his altar.
Our minds are the biggest obstacle we have to overcome. Satan, will fill you with fear, doubt, anxiety, and condemnation. If you want your marriage to survive pray and ask God to lead your actions. Live in peace and joy knowing that he loves you and will work it out. You have to submit to His will. Rest in Him, praise Him and put on His full armor. If you have no hope, you hope in faith. Have faith. It’s not easy, I know.
Remember your spouses are being attacked by the enemy. He seeks to destroy. Don’t let him win. Meditate on things that are true, noble, just, honorable, worthy of praise, etc. Pray without ceasing. Ask God to deliver you from this darkness and he will. Read his word. Listen to Him, when He speaks to you. He told me to wait, when I wanted to file for divorce. So I wait, and I have hope only in faith that my God who speaketh things into existence can draw my husband to him and can reconcile my marriage and can create new love and life where it has died. He says, I AM!
Before I was a Christian I would roll my eyes at anyone who mentioned the name “Jesus” in not a swear word kind of way. Now I am a full on believer of Jesus and The Holy Spirit dwells within me. I have been a Christian for all of 6 months but I seek him everyday. I met a guy…and he is everything I imagined myself wanting in a man. Everything except he’s not a Christian. I have been on two dates with him and I can see myself with him and I want it soooo badly it’s not even funny.
I have to now tell him that I cannot date non-Christian men and I just don’t want to drive him away from God further by appearing like I think I’m so much better than him or something. A part of me hopes he will just become a Christian to be with me but that is such a shallow thing to say. What I’ve learned from all this is not to even dip your foot in the water with a non Christian man! Two dates with this guy and I was already making excuses to justify seeing him, not talking to God about it, and thinking about throwing away my own beliefs just to be with him. What a mess guys! Don’t even bother.
I’m proud of you for doing what you believe God would have you, even though it is painful. Please pray for this guy, even if it leads to no where that you want as far as dating. You may be the only one who cares enough to pray. I pray for you that God helps you to guard your heart. May you be eventually see the benefits. Believe me, there are many.
I am married to a guy who was a non believer and I’m sorry. I was taken by the fact that he asked me to say the sinners prayer with him and I did. Since we have been married 5 years I haven’t seen anything Christian about him. I’m thinking that he just knew the right things to say to me. I don’t know whether he was sincere or not when he prayed the prayer. But it has been one of the most difficult relationships I’ve ever been in. I’m feeling stuck. At times my feelings overwhelm my ability to pray. I have confessed how sorry I am to God. I believe what I need to do now is, just release him to God because only God can save anyone, and focus on feeling less sorry for myself and get deeper with my relationship with God.
So, what do you mean “just release him to God?” Do you mean you’re going to leave him, or let him leave you? Or do you mean you will live with him and apply the “Duck Principle” where you duck, pray, and get out of God’s way (while living together)? You can see more about it in the following linked article: https://marriagemissions.com/to-say-something-or-not-that-is-the-question/.
God bless you. I have suffered by choice with this same type of situation for over get 5 years. The word says it’s better to marry to be honourable in Gods eyes. I know in my heart I am not willing to give up my church family of 14 years, so that my male companion can find a church home because I shared things regarding my church which is called gossip. I don’t want to keep disobeying God by being sexually active and we are not married. My point, spiritually we are not equally yoked. He wants to marry me. I need and want to follow Christ now more than anything. Signed, Don’t want to hurt the sheep.
This is a life testimony, thank God. I am very happy about that.