How can I get past the tremendous sadness that my spouse’s extramarital affair has caused me?
“Impact! Dead on impact. Maybe I have confused separateness with the feeling of being dead. The tears fall like rain drops.”
“The pain is physically exhausting but I am still here.”
“Lord I give up. I am not even going to pretend to be brave because I am actually totally broken. I give up. Please, I don’t want this anymore. I can’t take this anymore. Really… I can’t Lord; I can’t. My heart is completely shattered.”
Will I Ever Be Happy Again? I Feel So Much Sadness!
These are the feelings of sadness expressed by those who have been betrayed. It is the feeling of death, except one is still alive and must continue to live. But how? When will it ever go away? Will I ever feel happy again? It seems impossible. And my family tells me to just ‘get over it!’ That hurts me even more. My friends don’t understand.
When I discovered my husband’s affair, I felt as if I had gained a new companion, a companion whom I didn’t want, who wasn’t welcome, who had not been invited and who would not go away.
That companion was pain. For me it was 2 ½ years until I felt happiness again, and I distinctly remember feeling it again, and I remember why.
Feeling Unloved
The feeling of sadness for me was caused by thinking that I was unloved, perhaps even unlovable. Surely if I was a lovable person, the one I loved the most would not have hurt me so deeply with betrayal, abandonment, deceit and lies. The problem was that what I believed about myself, about my life and about the people around me was untrue. The truth is that I am lovable and therefore I will always have lots of love in my life.
I wanted a guarantee. I wanted to be guaranteed that I would never be betrayed by my husband again. He gave me his guarantee, yet I still didn’t feel guaranteed. After all, had I not been given a guarantee the day we exchanged our wedding vows? I thought what I needed was to throw away the old and start over with the new.
Start Anew?
“Yes, that’s what I needed,” I thought to myself, “a new relationship with my very own husband of 18 years.” Yes, we should redo our wedding vows. Yet others have redone their wedding vows and been betrayed again! Wedding vows are no guarantee.
Then I realized that I can never be guaranteed what all of the future choices of another individual will be. Neither can anyone else on the planet be guaranteed that their spouse will never have an affair. There are no such guarantees in life. I wish it were different, but that is reality. One thing no person can take away from another is their own right to choose. And really…would we want to?
But How Can I Get Past the Tremendous Sadness?
How loved would I feel if another was forced to love me?
Prior to our meeting this week, I put out an email to the Beyond Affairs Network asking other coordinators, how they got past the sadness. Here are their responses which I shared at our meeting:
“It was the hardest of emotions for me to overcome, but I finally accepted the fact that it happened and that I had no control over the actions of my spouse. I continually reminded myself that unless I controlled my own actions, I would be bound by my own stubbornness to remain in the anger and resentment stage. The constant dwelling on what happened is what keeps people stuck there. Again I had to control my own thoughts and move ahead. It’s not an easy thing to do, but it can be done especially if you choose to stay focused.”
Another wrote:
“I think, hard as it is to accept, that ‘tincture of time’ is the best way to get past both the hurt and the anger. I also know that it is possible to get stuck in either place. So what I did, instead of trying to rush the process, was to really LET myself be sad and then to LET myself be angry for a while. I had spent so much time and energy trying to move on, that I found I was denying myself the right to feel what I NEEDED to feel in order to heal.
Once I acknowledged my feelings and that I wasn’t crazy for feeling them, it was much easier to let them go. Now when negative feelings come, I can acknowledge them and put them away much faster. But it doesn’t happen overnight. It has been nearly 3 years for me and I’m finally getting there.”
Another affair survivor wrote:
“For me, the greatest skill for dealing with sadness is gratitude. Define it. Practice it. It seems trite to say count your blessings when you’re in the midst of such pain, but there is no denying the practical benefits of just doing. It’s scriptural and I think it’s psychologically sound. This is NOT denial. It’s perspective and coping until time has had the chance to work its magic.”
Then I read Peggy Vaughan’s article “Moving from Pain to Recovery”, where she talks about the importance of controlling your thoughts. What we feed grows. If we allow ourselves to replay the pain over and over again in our minds, we don’t move forward, in fact, it can get worse with time, if time is spent nursing and rehearsing the wound over and over again. This is where it becomes so important in the healing process to educate ourselves and to share with others who understand, which is the purpose of Beyondaffairs.com, constructive ideas and efforts to get beyond the painful emotions.
NOTE: Anne writes further about this particular marriage in an article (that we encourage you to read):
• KEY #1 TO GETTING UNSTUCK: Whatever You Focus on Expands
Managing Pain and Sadness
One woman shared how taking anti depressants (only for 6 months) had helped her to cope with life at somewhat of a normal level during the initial discovery period. Others managed their pain, and often depression that accompanies discovering marital infidelity, through cognitive therapy (which is learning to understand, recognize and control your thoughts).
During our meeting, one individual brought to our attention the value of a good comedy!!! What a great, but often overlooked point! Sometimes you’ve just been dealing with the darn stuff too long.
Need to Laugh
You need to go out and have a good laugh. Give all those serious, deep thinking, tragedy moments a rest. Search for things that make you laugh. A good laugh is medicine for the soul.
Getting past the sadness, it’s a choice. We choose whether we will read books, educate ourselves, increase our understanding, learn from others and most of all whether or not WE will control our thoughts. Can you get past the sadness? Absolutely! But it takes time and it is YOUR choice.
This article was written by Anne Bercht and is featured on the web site for PassionateLife Seminars, which is a dedicated to helping others survive marriage affairs, infidelity, adultery and betrayal. Anne’s book, My Husband’s Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
This particular article is one of many they have posted on the subject of surviving infidelity and healthy recovery from extra marital affairs. You may want to visit their web site to see what else they offer which might further help you in some way with this issue. You can visit their web site by going to Beyondaffairs.com.
Filed under: Surviving Infidelity
Since the day that I found out that my husband was looking for somebody else but me, he was flirting in front of me disrespecting our marriage in all ways possible. I haven’t been able to get over it. I’ve tried to pretend that everything is fine. We’ve been in counseling for a while and it helped, but I don’t trust him anymore. This is killing me. I want to be the same person I was full of energy, positive, and happy. I look myself in the mirror and all I see is sadness, anger and hopelessness, please help me.
Betty, this is a severe, deep wound that cut into you. It’s not something you will easily recover from, nor will you ever be the same, as a result of what happened –whether you’re with or without your husband. Your innocent trust has been taken from you. But that doesn’t mean that you will never smile again or get back to being a more positive person, it just means that now, you will see life through eyes that have cried and a heart that has been broken. You will filter things differently.
Please give yourself grace and patience in getting to a better place emotionally. You have been traumatized. It’s a type of Post Traumatic Stress that you’re recovering from… you need time, and the eyes and a heart that are wide open to healing –doing healthy things that will get you there. Prayerfully, your husband will help in this journey to healing. But please don’t expect any type of trust to build overnight. It’s step by step. If you lean into healing, as the Lord directs you, you will get there eventually and your energy and positive attitude will be restored. I join you in hoping and praying that for you.
I can’t even believe it but I guess just putting it down will help me accept it. My husband had an affair. His AP is married also and called me at work to let me know that for a year my husband and her were meeting in hotels. This was last year however it feels like yesterday. He and I have been together since 15… 24 years. He said I ignored him… denied him of sex….made him feel insecure… it’s because I worked too much… had our son in the bed… liked the attention… this happened.
For me, I have a million justifications to leave but why am I still here!?!?!?!? I am so angry that he could be soo selfish and so creepy. Why couldn’t he have just told me?!!! Why don’t people just leave and not cheat and just be honest before they destroy everything in the path of families and honesty? I am angry and feel forever heartbroken.
I agree JW… so sad for you –so much loss. There is NO justification for this. If he was unhappy, then he needed to say so and do something about it in an HONEST way. There is no excuse for this… he did this because he was tempted and allowed himself to do what he shouldn’t. Yes, those things could have made him more vulnerable, but they NEVER justify cheating. This tells more of his character than anything else. I pray the Lord helps to heal your broken heart as you lean into Him.
I was in a relationship for ten years and it will be a year on Valentines day, that I realized he was having an affair. I’m still so sad and don’t understand why I’m not angry. It still hurts like it was yesterday. I feel really depressed and helpless. I put on a good face for work and family but feel like I’m dying inside.
The anger will come after the hurt. It’s a process. My advice… get out while you can. Been riding this roller coaster for 33 years. Tired…
I found out a year ago that my husband was having an affair with his cousin’s wife. Don’t know how long it’s been going on. He is my rock; my love of my life. We’ve been married for 36 years. My high school sweetheart. I Am lost. I am broke, my heart has been ripped from me. I’ve been praying and asking God to please give me hope. And to please guide my husband on the path to his wife and. Family, and that God comfort him and shield him from Satan. I have three grown daughters that are devastated. He tells me he Loves me. I do know he is on meth. He is lost and has a disease. I am just torn. I do believe in miracles. I’m so lonely without him. But right now I put this in God’s hands. I pray for you too as you are going through this …
Meg I know exactly what you mean. Family and friends tell me I’m so strong. But I’m dying inside. Put on a Happy face. But tears fall every day and night. I’ve lost 35 pounds in 8 months. My heart has been ripped from me.
My husband had a 3 year (on and off) relationship with another woman. I discovered this when she came to our door to confront him for breaking up with her. I choose to forgive him, but I cannot forget. I find myself looking at pictures of them on her Facebook. I truly love him and he tells me he loves me. I know I need to break it off and go on with my life, but the pain keeps me chained to him. I feel degraded and humiliated, yet, I can’t let go. We have been together 15 years. Well, 12, since I don’t count the years of the affair. Trouble is, I suspected and confronted him several times. He always denied and all his friends knew it was going on.
Jaybe, your story is very similar to mine. The only difference is the way I found out. Out of nowhere I get a phone call while driving my daughter to lacrosse. It is the husband of the other woman. I had to somehow pretend everything was ok since my daughter was in the car and ask if I could call him back. My life just came crashing down on me. Now I live in fear of caught off guard all the time. He was so good at hiding the affair for 3 years, he could easily do it again. We are still together, mainly because our youngest daughter, 16, has been going through a very difficult time and we both needed to be here for her. I still wonder if I am making the right decision in staying, I feel as if part of me is slowly dying. I miss being confident, secure, and happy.
Good day, maybe I can get help. I’ve been married for ten years now. And since we’ve been married my husband has been cheating until in 2012 he had a baby with another lady. We spoke about it and I prayed. He promised not to repeat again and we both agreed that we will support the child and he will separate from the mother.
As time went by he started to refuse to engage me in supporting the child. He said the mother of the child is not comfortable. I suspected that he was lying; maybe he doesn’t want to tell the lady the truth and he is still in love. We continued living like that. I have been feeling this pain. On 2015 I realised that the lady is pregnant again with the second child of my husband. After confronting him he never denied it. And he said he wants to marry the lady. I’m a Christian. I don’t agree with polygamy and feel like just quitting as he has been betraying me. Now he is saying to me we have to plan for our anniversary in August 2016. I’m confused on how to handle this. Please help.
I found out in October that my husband had been sleeping with my best friend. I don’t know who hurt me more, him or her? It’s been 5 months now and I’m still so angry and untrusting towards everyone. I have no friends anymore; I can’t trust them. I’m trying so hard to forgive him. I know that he’s sorry but I just feel so down, anxious, frightened and very lonely all of the time. My husband says I’m pushing him away; maybe he’s right. I’m not the same happy fun person I was before. I want to be. I want my marriage to make it and the hurt to go away. I want to stop crying any suggestions?
Sarah, I’m so sorry for what you are suffering. It’s absolutely horrible to have your spouse do this to you, but then to have your best friend do this with him… that has got to be so very much worse. Please know that my heart cries for you. I can’t even imagine the pain.
The best we can do for you is to encourage you to read and glean through the articles and quotes and testimonies that are posted on this web site as it pertains to infidelity. This is a very difficult journey for you that you will need to go down –one you never thought you’d have to… but what your husband and best friend did to you by cheating as they did, put you upon this rocky road. Use the articles as vehicles to help you process this in healthy ways, leaning upon the Lord to be your “Wonderful Counselor.” He knows very well what it is to be betrayed by those He loves, so He can guide you. Also, you may want to go to the web sites we provide links to because they have additional info that could help you. Many of them have dealt with being cheated on, so they know how to best minister to your hurts.
Please be patient in this process. There’s no doubt that you don’t want to be… who would? It’s painful. But you were stabbed in your heart by those you love. That type of trauma doesn’t go away over night. But healing IS possible. I’ve seen it over and over and over again. But those who do best are those who lean into the healing process. I encourage you to do so. Please know that my prayers and hopes are with you that eventually you will find your smile, and eventually your laugh again.
It has been almost 2 years since learning of my husbands 3 year affair. I hear what everyone is saying, about moving on is a choice, I just don’t understand how to do that. The pain and insecurity are breath taking at times. I really would like advice on How to choose.
I don’t think my story is like another! I met him, and we fell in love in the blink of an eye! We were soon married and trying to have kids! But somewhere, something went wrong! Soon I felt neglected and alone! We sometimes even slept apart! I felt as though I begged for affection! We both started seeking interests outside of our marriage! And before you know it we were divorced! It happened so quickly!
After only three months of being apart, I realized we didn’t fight hard enough and I loved him regardless of what we’ve been through! And soon we got back together, I was a better woman, more loving and understanding! Throughout 2015 I fought hard this time to save and keep our relationship! Only to find out he was having MULTIPLE affairs! I tried being understanding and soon forgave him! Only to then find out (two weeks ago) one of the women was having his child!
I became devastated, crushed, hurt! I’m in physical and emotional pain! He then ended the relationship! I’m not sure if he is with her or not! But I feel betrayed, seeing also that we were trying to conceive all the while! I’m so ashamed to even speak about it! Some days I beg God to call me home, others I cry myself to sleep! I haven’t even had a proper meal in weeks! I can’t even see the end to this pain! While I was trying to fix my family he went ahead and just started another! How can I ever cope with this! I need help!
I am so hurt, my husband was cheating for about 6 months, I found out today when she texted him. Our marriage of 23 years is over. I want to drive and drive and leave this world. He betrayed me.
Dear Elizabeth, You are not alone. I’ve faced my husband’s infidelity for years. I believe he has a personality disorder, i.e. narcissistic personality disorder. I realize this is a Christ centered site, and God doesn’t view sin as a personality disorder, it is merely sin, but all I’ve read about narcissistic personality disorder seems to fit so many of the profiles here of those that have cheated.
I’ve never experienced such pain as the pain as a result of his cheating. I know your heart and stomach are on the floor. I know you are so sick about it you may not even be able to cry. Your grief is a trillion pounds. No one understands except for those who have been through it. Please know that you are not alone.
I have cried out to God for help, for deliverance. But I’ve also felt myself pull away from God in order to seek a worldly answer to the pain. I know this isn’t the answer but I find myself doing it.
Your grief though won’t last forever. I suggest you read as much as you can about other woman experiencing similar situations and pray. Really, there is nothing else to do to control what happened. What he has done, and continues to do is ultimately his free will choice. No amount of crying, yelling, screaming, asking, begging, obsessing, snooping, manipulating, or raging will change it. Now or ever. Embrace this and don’t allow yourself to wallow in it. It’s his crime; try not to do the time.
My husband cheated on me for the past year I just found out 2 weeks ago and it has been the worst pain I’ve been through. I’m still in shock and can’t believe he did this to me. I trusted him so much because I knew in my heart he wouldn’t cheat since he always talked about God and read the Bible. But it was all a lie; he knew how to hide it so well.
I came to find out by one day that I looked through the call history since he was receiving a private call. That is when I saw the number he was making phone calls to from work. This was going on for a year. I don’t know if he had intimacy with her but why erase the phone calls? Why lie? Right now I’m lost heartbroken and have so many thoughts. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about this. I spoke to her one day and she swore on her kids that they did not do anything, that they were just friends. HE also swore on the Bible that he did not cheat but I can’t believe him. I just can’t. Something inside me tells me different.
I hope that one day I could forget about this and move on but for now the person I am is no longer inside me. I became a sad, distrustful person. I no longer enjoy the things I used to do and I pray that I could forget about this and be myself again.
We are all collateral damage from immature men/women, unhappy with THEMSELVES who choose the EASY way out of fixing their OWN issues. Affairs are lies and selfish and have nothing to do with us! Remember that. The betrayal is brutal and the loss of trust and belief in what love is, is shattered. I am one year post affair and feel like you all. I find huge comfort in reading your words as we all share this same experience. Feel the feelings; don’t run from them. We are all beautiful people who deserve to be loved and cared for and helped by our betrayer in our healing.
I have found that the pain does not go away; but trusting in God has done wonders for me. My husband and I are trying to work things through but it is knowing that my God who loves me beyond my imagination & still has me safely tucked in His arms that keeps me going. The entire world can desert me; my husband, my children, my parents, but as long as God still loves me and is there for me, am comforted and can face any battles He allows in my life, to build me up to be Christ-like. He asks me to extend the same grace He gave me on Calvary to my husband, on a daily basis and also whenever the memory of his infidelity comes back.
It is the HARDEST thing I have ever had to do in my entire life. But His ‘grace is sufficient’ and He promises to ‘Never leave you nor forsake you.’ He says, ‘nothing can separate you from His love.’ He asks us to give Him our heavy burdens that He may give us a lighter load. He has faced much worse betrayal and mistreatment than us. He knows what we have been through. He gave us free will and cannot interfere in our bad choices. He was therefore not a party to the hurt that we have gone through. He is trustworthy and is willing to walk this journey with us. I am staying in my marriage because my husband is remorseful but largely because God wants me to act out my faith and OBEY Him in extending His grace the same way He extended the same grace to me. If you do not know God or have a relationship with Him, i want to assure you that it would make a world of a difference going through this with Him. God bless you all and may His love for you be tangible enough for you to experience it.
I can’t believe I am sharing this, but I feel alone and I just don’t understand. Next month my husband and I will have been married for a year. We are having the wedding that we couldn’t afford last year on our anniversary. One night in December I couldn’t sleep and felt pulled to his phone. I opened and what I found changed my life. My wonderful husband had been talking inappropriately, and sending picture to girls online.
When I confronted him the next day I found that it had been going on since before we were even married and that he was also addicted to porn. We are working hard to get through it and he hasn’t relapsed in a few months but trusting him isn’t getting any easier. I have no idea how to work through this. His work hours don’t time for counseling and we can’t afford for him to take time off. I also have clinical anxiety and depression, which makes things that much harder. Any advice is welcome.
Hi Sara, I could not let such a plea for help as yours go unanswered. I am a husband married 36 years with 2 adult children. You have been through a terrible and unexpected experience which has shaken you to your very core. From your short text I surmise that your husband was not defiant in his response to your confrontation, but instead remorseful, and, as you say, you two have been working through it now almost 6 months. The fact that you are working through it together is already a major step in the right direction. I believe that recovering from such a thing is done little by little- small steps at a time, as trust is slowly rebuilt.
I would marshall all the help you can as soon as you can. Trusted friends, family, the counsel on this site, support from your church if you are part of one… people who know you and care for you…those people would be very willing to step in and support you. Professional help is very likely needed for a porn addiction, as this habit can be extremely difficult to break.
Your husband needs to understand and appreciate the hurt this has caused you. Until he “gets it,” I think it will be hard for you to fully recover. Honest talking, praying, more honest communication…can only help.
I am ashamed to say that I had on-line affairs until about 11 months ago. I knew this was wrong, but the attraction was very hard to break. It was only when my wife and I talked about it, and when I fully understood the effect this had on her, that I knew I had to summon all I had to “make the break.” Together we wrote letters to the online affair partners, and sent the letters together. I agreed to delete my social media page and did so. (This was VERY difficult to do!) The fact that my wife trusted me with the deletion of my page enabled me to forgo re-activating it (which I could easily have done.) I wanted her trust, and did not want the guilt that I knew would plague me if I went behind her back and got in touch with the affair partners again. I was fully aware that I was risking the destruction of my family. Had I not been very aware of what was at stake, I doubt I would have succeeded. Prayer and reliance on God was key.
I hope these comments help. Hope is not lost, not at all. Many marriages have come through such times and not only survived, but have become stronger. This is true Sara.
I hope we hear from you again. Many on this site have been through similar situations…we all have had our battles to fight. Here you are among friends. WP (Work in Progress)
I’m in the same boat as you all, but my story goes back to 2006 when I was pregnant with our first child. I was about 2 months pregnant when I found out my husband of 3 years had been having an affair for couple years (that means he started cheating on me about 1 year into our marriage). Wow!!! This alone hurt so bad now, imagine going through this while being pregnant. When I confronted him he couldn’t deny it the evidence was there. He told me I’m leaving you for her and her 3 kids. It hurt me so much that he was willing to leave us for someone else’s family.
Anyway, I was going through so much I literally begged him not to leave us. He ended up not leaving and he never really apologized for it he just said he would never again do it and he wanted to be here for our child. I didn’t really care; all I wanted was for him to stay and be there for our child and try to get our marriage back. It took me about 6 years to really forgive him and give him my full trust again, which he did really work hard to get.
Things were going great between us. We had finally reached that awesome relationship we had always imagined, or so I thought. But about 10 months ago (Aug 2015) I started having this feeling something was going on with him. I just couldn’t pin point it. I thought maybe it’s just his stressful job. He also started becoming a little distant but, not enough for me to see any red flags. I would always ask him “what’s going on; tell me. I know there’s something going on.” He always denied it and it turned into an argument about how I’m insecure, crazy, bipolar imagining things.
Anyway, So I kept asking here and there just very casually, never getting through. Fast forward to May 2016. I was logging into my FB page and saw that he had deleted me from his friends so, I thought I’d ask him. He said he deleted his Fb page therefore that’s why we weren’t friends anymore. But something told me he was lying. I had an uneasy feeling about all this so, I decided to look into it since I already knew his user name. I just had to figure out his password, which was easy… our sons name and date of birth.
So I logged into his account. I didn’t find anything suspicious except that he had an unusual amount of lady friends. “Ok, I said, that’s not enough for me to suspect anything.” That is until I opened his messages and that is when I found out he had been messaging with one of his guy friends and Lo and Behold they were talking about girls. My husband was flaunting his many flings, affairs, and sexual encounters with women. Then I found out another message from a lady saying how much she missed him and other sex talk between them. I can’t believe it!!! Maybe I don’t want to. How could he after everything we went through the first time!!!? and knowing how many years it took me to get over it and trust him again?
He took advantage of me knowing he had my full trust again. I can’t comprehend why??? I’ve given this man everything of me. I’ve been there for him when no one else would. I supported him, never gave him any reason to doubt my love and loyalty. I forgave him!!! I just keep asking “what did I do”? or was it something I didn’t do? Why God!? Why!!!?? I feel literally sick, tired, depressed, and angry. I’m asking myself if our marriage has always been just one big lie? I gave him everything including 2 beautiful children.
I hate him for what he has done to us. I don’t think I can forgive him again. I plan on moving out as soon as he finishes school in about a month. He doesn’t know that I found out about all his cheating. Now I’m concerned; what if I have an STD? He has shattered my whole world and also I can’t help but somehow blame and be angry with God. I know it was my husband’s choice to cheat and not God’s but I just can’t help blaming him. I’m in a deep dark whole of depression yet again. I cry all day when he’s not here to see me.
I just think my instincts were correct and he tried to make me believe that it was all in my head. I even started to doubt my mental health. He’d rather see me go crazy than admit his cheating. Now I know he really never cared or loved me. He stayed for pity; now I know this. He never loved me, he played me so good and I fell for it. I think he messed me up forever. Now I will never love the same or trust any man again ever.
I am married to a person who is more than 20 years older than me. It was an arranged marriage; since the beginning he used me to party with his female colleagues and enjoyed drinking. I was only 20 and was unable to understand what was going wrong but not very happy with all this. We have two kids; he is providing everything to the family. Now it’s almost 18 years of my marriage and I know very well that my husband is never with me emotionally. He is with me only if I go to him and beg for love. He parties and calls other women and lies to me I feel betrayed. He puts all his energy into partying.
So, so sorry that your husband is treating you this way. I will never, ever, ever understand how a person could be that selfish to marry and then fool around with others on any level. Either you marry and stay true to that person or you stay single so you CAN party with those you want to. I hope you find ways of building your life so you have things to smile about, and pray for you that the Lord comforts your lonely heart. My prayers are with you.
He tries to be nice but he is emotionally very distant and never approached me for love. After office hours most of the days two to three times he is with his friends which I don’t approve then he lies. Now I had a big fight with him about these lies and secrets. I can’t bear these any more.
I feel much better now because before reading the article, I just felt like killing myself. But I have realised that love cannot be forced and I have to move on with my life and be the best mother to my children. I will forget about the pain of betrayal from my husband.
Thank you for your comment. I pray the Lord continues to give you hope, and helps you to reject thinking about killing yourself. Choose life. Your children will forever be grateful. Please don’t allow the enemy of our faith to convince you that your life is over. Yes, it has been horribly hurt, and the pain HAS to be tremendous. But God has a plan for you. Your life is not defined by this horrible event. Do what you can to get through each day, by leaning upon the Lord for His restorative help. Look for blessings and ways to smile and make your children smiles –even under rocks there can be blessings. You will not forget what happened, but eventually, God can redeem the pain and turn it around to bring blessings in some way. I’ve seen it over and over again. I pray for you and am asking the Lord to help you in the ways you need it, and give you comfort in ways that will be healthy and restorative.
I am a practicing Muslim. I thought my husband was too. I discovered 8 weeks ago he has been cheating on me. I couldn’t speak to anyone except the local Christian chaplains wife. She is a neighbour and good friend. She has given me her Bible on loan to read. I have gained much comfort from the words and helps me to put balm on my wounds.
Thank you, all you good caring people.
I have been cheated on about 5 times. It feels like I am dead, but still on earth. I feel like nothing matters to me. I feel like I should die.
So, so sorry Sylica, that you have been betrayed like this. I pray the Lord ministers to your heart and comforts you. Right now everything looks so dark, and understandably so. But trust that the sun will shine in your life again. No one deserves to be cheated on… I’m sad for you, but pray you will realize that you didn’t do this. You shouldn’t be ashamed; he should be. The fact that he could break your heart like this speaks horribly about his character. Please know that someone cares very much that you open your eyes each day… God cares, and so do I.