Please answer this question of how to show love to your spouse
when geographical distance is separating you
by leaving a comment below
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(USA) Well I am not married yet but I am soon to be engaged. My fiancé and I live 4 hours apart but that doesn’t stop us from have a wonderful, loving connection. Early on in our relationship (like the very first date) he made it a must that we call each other every day and we do so even if it is for a few minutes to say hi I love you on his way home from work. I in turn have started a habit of texting him each day with a good morning. This habit has evolved into sharing scripture and calling each other throughout the day when ever we have a minute. I text a midday I love you he calls when he has a second.
I don’t know what your situation is but when David and I get married we will live together. Maybe your spouse travels a lot maybe you live in different cities or even states because of work. I have learned that it takes diligence and then the habit becomes something so much more, something even I couldn’t imagine. I asked my fiancé David if when we get married and we are right in bed next to each other can I still text him good morning? It’s funny but when we are together everyday I am going to miss that special sound only his text makes when it comes in everyday.
(USA) Stay in touch via web-cam, send gifts, and pray for each other.
(NIGRIA) Communication is key. Call at every available time (morning before work, break time and close of work). Also, make time to come together for vacation, just the two of you, no intruder. Pray for each other.
(UNITED STATES) I am not married yet, but my girlfriend has been overseas for almost 3 months now on a missions endeavor. Before she left, she gave me a post it note dispenser in which she had put a post-it note for everyday she would be gone. Every note is just a sentence or two, but each has special meaning to us. Everyday, I pull a new note and read it. It keeps me thinking about her.
Also, I set up a YouTube account where every week or so, we can upload a video to each other, expressing our feelings and telling what is going on in our lives. Schedule prevents us from Skyping (this is great though when it works out) since there is over a 12 hour time difference. We e-mail often, and when we are down or feel the emotional bank account is getting low, we can go back and reread the e-mails. Having something in hand that reminds you of them is huge! We traded hoodies before she left and each of us wears the other one’s hoodie to bed each night. My girlfriend has three freckles on her arm in the pattern of Orion’s belt, so she told me that every time I see Orion in the night sky, he has a message for me (he told me his message and now he tells me every night). I cannot emphasize how much having a reminder of her here with me has helped! Also, PRAY PRAY PRAY! God knows what you are going through and He will carry you through.
(INDIA) Four POINTS TO EXPRESS YOUR LOVE WHEN YOU ARE AWAY—-
1- proper regular communication …where, what you do, and so on…
2- connectivity and availability to speak …never give a gap or disinterest…
3- we have many medias by which you can see or speak or write …express your love and say that you love…
4- ask your partner what you want me to buy when I return, that makes the heart waiting and longing.
May God bless you, Rev. Santhana Peter – Chennai, India
(NIGERIA) Make time to talk with each other EVERY day. When you call one another, make a conscious effort to ask about each other’s day and encourage one another about the challenges you faced during the day. Even when you are sharing how your separation is affecting you, try hard not to blame each other. Close your conversation by expressing your love to one another. Also pray as though you were together.
My husband and I had a period we lived apart, because of work. At this time we made it a point to speak to each other twice in a day. In the morning and in the evening. There were days when this wasn’t possible because of our schedule, but we didn’t get too upset, we just looked ahead to the next day.
(SOUTH AFRICA) Call each other everyday, before and after work. Talk about almost everything, work, church, challenges and your love towards each other.
(UK) There is a great communication tool called Watsapp, it allows you to text at no cost, and send short video messages, pictures, so if you wanted to be intimate and send each other pics. Then also if you download viber – you can call each other at no cost if the other person also downloads viber. Skype in some countries is quite difficult due to network issues.
The most important thing is to communicate. I know people will say everyday -it’s not as practical in some cases. But when you do, make it meaningful, talk about things that reminded you of him, talk about the jokes you would have shared if the other person was around, and remember to keep your shared interests. Ask about his/her work, what’s been happening, what meeting they have, are they ready. Remember to wish them the best if they tell you of a pending presentation etc.
Don’t assume you know when they’re going through; ask, and don’t assume they know what you’re going through, do tell. Assumptions are bad, they result in communication breakdowns.