The following are some quotes on the issue of leaving parents (on the husband and wife’s part) to cleave to your spouse. They come from a radio interview. It is part of an eight part radio interview series, which was put together by the ministry of Family Life Today. It is titled, “Becoming One: God’s Blueprints for Marriage.” Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine are the hosts.
In the parts of the interviews that we will be sharing, Dennis Rainey lays the groundwork with the following scriptures:
For this cause, a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh, and the man and his wife were both naked, and they were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:24-25)
In the beginning part of this interview Bob Lepine makes the following statement:
I was reading recently in Dr. Dan Allender’s book, “Intimate Allies,” and he made the statement that, in his experience, he could trace 90% of marital discord back to a failure to leave.
Concerning Leaving Parents, Dennis replies:
“Most couples don’t think they’ve failed to leave. Yet if they could see what is trailing behind them as they walk out the church, they’d see ‘apron strings’ still tied to a man and a woman by their parents. These are people who love and care about them, but simply don’t know how to let them leave. It’s awkward because there is a new union formed there. This is a new relationship that is an entity, and it’s supposed to be. It’s supposed to be a couple who are one, who are in the process of forging a marriage relationship.
“I was reading in Tim Kimmel’s book, ‘Powerful Personalities,’ describing different personality types and how different people try to control others through aggressive or passive behavior and how we can manipulate each other. A young couple that is really not prepared properly to establish this new marriage relationship —if they’re not careful, will be controlled by either his or her parents or find themselves in between two sets of parents trying to establish this relationship. The word ‘leave’ from the biblical text means to ‘forsake dependence upon.’ It means to turn your allegiance away from your parents toward your spouse.
“We do that in such a way that honors our parents but that sends a clear signal that this is a new relationship that must be established. Sometimes parents don’t realize that this command in Genesis 2: 24 is as much a command to the parents as it is to the couple who are getting married. It’s the wise parents that can understand the dynamics that a young couple is under as they try to forge the identity of a new marriage in the midst of two competing families.”
More so, on Leaving Parents, Dennis commented:
“It’s hard to turn your back on the emotional giving, sharing, and development that you’ve poured into this daughter or this son’s life to encourage them to leave. It doesn’t mean you lose the relationship, though. It means, in essence, you get one back that’s different, that has different parameters. You shouldn’t be controlling them as a young adult, anyway.
“A lot of parents need to realize you need to let your son or daughter grow up. Let them become a mature adult and relate to them more as a peer and less as a child. But some of our parents simply can’t get beyond that. In some situations, we represent the only real relationship that our parents have. They don’t have a vital marriage, and the only real relationships they have are with their children. For that reason, they simply can’t or won’t allow them to leave.”
Here’s another important point Dennis made on Leaving Parents:
“There are three areas you can run a test on to see how you’ve done in leaving your father and mother. The first is emotional. Have you left your parents’ emotional control of your life? Are you still looking to them for support, for encouragement, and for their approval?
“I remember, in my immaturity as a young man, sharing with my mom a mistake that Barbara had made in our marriage. It was a minor mistake. Barbara had hurt me, but I shared it with my mom, and it was as though I had shared this grievous error, because my mother came running over to me. And although she didn’t say these words verbally, what I felt was, ‘I knew that she couldn’t be the woman that you really needed as my son.'”
A Valuable Lesson on Leaving Parents
“I was almost 25 years old, so she had 24 years practice caring for me as her son. But what she was doing was rushing in to care for me. And in future conversations with my mom, the mistake that Barbara made would be brought up by her. I learned a valuable lesson. Be careful, as a couple, what you share with your parents of how your spouse has disappointed or hurt you. Your parents don’t have near the grace to give your spouse that you have. You’re their son or their daughter that they will naturally move to protect. They’ve been trained to do that for years.
“I don’t condemn my mom for her protective instincts. I just recognize that they’re there. But I realized at that point I couldn’t share those disappointments with my mom. It would simply play to a weakness in her life. As a result, it would set Barbara up to be a failure in my mom’s eyes.”
Here’s Another Point Dennis made on Leaving Parents:
“If your parents are trying to manipulate you emotionally, what you have to do is ask your spouse to help you get beyond this. Build some boundaries around your lives, around the holidays. Determine how long you’re going to go and when you’re going to go. Also determine whose house you’re going to go to for that first Christmas or that second Christmas or successive Christmases. Use the marriage relationship that God has given you to protect one another from being manipulated or being taken advantage of or from emotionally being clobbered by parents.
“Your spouse ought to be that person you cleave to and depend upon to really help you get free of your parents and establish your own identity as a couple.”
Dennis talks about financial decisions made apart from parents (which is quite wise) but then he goes onto “decision-making.” It’s another aspect of leaving parents, which is important.
Dennis makes the point:
“This could include the spiritual dimension of life as well —just getting advice from parents. Parents need to give advice. I think we need to go back to them for counsel and for wisdom. But the decision needs to be yours as a couple. You need to share the weight of that decision praying together and making your decision as a couple.
“That doesn’t mean you wouldn’t do what they say. It just means that you can’t give them power over your lives…”
Here are a few additional thoughts Dennis shares that are very important:
“I’ve got three quick thoughts for you as you evaluate as a couple what you’ve done in leaving your father and mother. First of all, I’d encourage you to discuss, as a couple, have you left? Each of you —have you left emotionally, financially, and for direction or decision-making? Secondly, if you’ve got some problems there, I encourage you to pray together, as a couple, for a solution. And, third, honor your parents but take action. Set a course for your marriage and take control of the future by making decisions that will create health and spiritual vitality in your marriage.”
And then, here are a few quotes that we want to particularly point out from the radio program, “Leaving Part 2.”
In this interview, Dennis Rainey is asked what a couple should do if the parents don’t want their grown “children” to leave.
To this he replied:
“You can’t make that decision for your parents. You can’t force them to let you leave. All you can do is leave. Leave your need for approval from them and turn to your spouse and let that person be the one that you cleave to and commit to, to experience approval and appreciation and encouragement that God intended in the marriage relationship.
“Many times I’ve used the illustration of the husband having a set of blueprints and the wife having a set of blueprints, and the problem when their blueprints only overlap at points. If a husband and a wife both have the same set of blueprints, and they’re both coming at their marriage relationship from the Scripture, they’re going to be building their marriage as God designed it.
We’re Told in the Bible Concerning Leaving Parents
“Genesis, chapter 2 gives us the panoramic view of the marriage relationship from God’s perspective. In verses 24 and 25 He says, ‘For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked, and they were not ashamed.'”
“I believe every marital problem can be traced to a failure to leave, a failure to cleave, or a failure to really cultivate that oneness of flesh. If we understand these blueprints in the Book of Genesis, it will help us, as a couple, have our marriage set in the right direction.”
Later in the interview Dennis Rainey refers to Genesis 2:24 again and explains why God wants the couple to “leave” their parents.
He said:
“God wants a man and a woman to become one. It’s the marriage relationship that causes him to leave his father and his mother. The word ‘leave’ here means to ‘forsake dependence upon.’ It means we no longer look to our parents for approval, support, or for encouragement. We leave one sphere of influence and move to another sphere of influence.”
In this interview, Bob Lepine asks Dennis how this couple can prepare their parents. Is there anything they can do before the wedding to prepare them on the issue of leaving parents in priority?
To this Dennis replied:
“They are in an enviable position of being able to establish the leaving to occur in the right way. They can begin to spend time with their parents and let them know that although they’re leaving them to establish this new union. Both of them are still are going to be their son or daughter, and they want a relationship. But they can send signals to the parents to let them know that their allegiance is switching. It’s established that they’re going to be committed to this new person that they’re making a covenant within the marriage ceremony.
“Parents need their sons and daughters to help them in this process. It’s difficult. Emotionally, parents don’t want to give up the investment that’s taken place over 18 or more years. It’s the wise person who can understand those dynamics. Maybe they can even talk about it with their mom or dad. Let them know that you know it may be a struggle.
Sad, But True Concerning Leaving Parents and Others
“It may be that the son or daughter is the only real relationship they have. They may not have any other relationships. They may be in a dead marriage. It’s possible, they may not be alive spiritually. They may not be plugged into a good church where they have their relationship needs met by other Christians. And so for them to say goodbye to a son or daughter who is getting married, is to cut themselves off from a living hope. It’s at that point that we need to give our parents a gift of compassion. It’s the gift of looking at your parents through the eyes of Christ. How can I so minister to them and encourage them that it will make this process of leaving palatable for all concerned?”
Bob asked Dennis:
“Let’s assume that the wedding has already taken place, and it’s 5 years into the marriage, and couples are beginning to look at one another saying, “Is this an issue for us? Maybe we haven’t done a good job of establishing our leaving from our parents.”
To that, Dennis replied:
“I think the process really begins when you realize that you haven’t left, and you haven’t done it properly. If you recognize that that’s true, then at that point you can begin to take some steps that will breathe some health into your own marriage but also into your relationship with your parents.
Some Parents Have a Hard Time Accepting This
“…Yes, there are certain parents who are manipulators, who are controllers, and they have such a pattern of controlling that they simply can’t allow their child to leave. I was reading in Tim Kimmel’s book, ‘Powerful Personalities,’ about three kinds of personality types. One is the aggressive controlling type; a second kind is a passive manipulator, and a third one is a combination of the two —a passive-aggressive controller. Tim really does a great job of explaining how you can have your life controlled by another person. But he explains how you can break free from that control.
“The first step in dealing with this as a married couple is beginning by honoring your parents. I think any leaving of your parents can be difficult. It could be done at the wedding ceremony for a couple who’s getting married where you honor the parents during the ceremony. Or it could be a married couple who have been married five years, 10 years, or more. There are ways to leave your mother and father and still bring honor to them.”
All of this gives you a preview of some important points concerning biblically leaving, cleaving, and “becoming one.”
I GREATLY encourage you to listen to or read the rest of the interviews. Please prayerfully consider what is said here because the advice given is golden. It’s very scriptural and wise concerning the important principle of leaving parents and family. You can do so by going to the Family Today web site. Ask for the 2-part series titled, “Becoming One: God’s Blueprints for Marriage” at Familylife.com.
— ALSO —
The following Family Life Today article is written by Mary May Larmoyeux. In it, she gives “ten ideas for dealing with a wife who won’t leave or cleave”:
• MARRIED TO DADDY’S LITTLE GIRL
Concerning leaving parents and extended family after marriage, here’s some good advice to prayerfully consider:
“When you married and established a new home, you departed from your old ways. You didn’t leave your first home in terms of love or communication. But you did leave in terms of authority and priority. The most important human relationship now is the one you have with your husband or wife. More than that, your marriage is a living, breathing institution with a life of its own. It’s a covenant that is a symbol of God’s love for the church, His body of believers in Jesus Christ.” (Dr Randy Carlson)
Filed under: Dealing with In Laws & Parents
(USA) I have a situation and need to figure things out. I got engaged to a woman I love very much who lives in a different country than me (Indonesia). We started out as online friends introduced by my fiance’s sister (who at the time lived in Indonesia) who was also talking to and kind of online dating a guy from Europe. We hit it off and began online dating after a long online friendship. My fiance’s sister and the European guy, who are both my friends, began traveling to see each other and then got married this Spring 2011.
I went to Indonesia and visited my fiancé this last April 2011 for almost a month (this is how we ended up engaged along with I love my fiance tons and tons). Both our families aren’t very wealthy and are middle class in our respective countries. Her mom wants her to stay in Indonesia (her mom just got divorced) and for us to live there. My mom, dad, and many others are putting huge amounts of pressure on me to have her move to the US (Everyone says we’d be better off in the US but parents also have the reason they want me near them or at least in the same region).
I understand I should leave home and be with my fiance whom I would marry immediately if I could get the funds. Unemployment has kept me from continuing to travel to see my fiancé. If I don’t get a job soon I plan to leave the US and move to Indonesia and try to work there and be with my fiancé, despite the last time I was there I ended up sick in the hospital and living there scares me.
I really want to know what the right answer might be. I think the answer is that both me and my fiancé should both leave our families far behind (she, her cousins, and mom, and me, my parent,s and relatives) but just not sure. By leaving them far behind I was thinking living in a US city or town like somewhere in California or Atlanta, GA would work. Please give me advice I just can’t seem to find a way to compromise.
(UNITED STATES) So what if its the other way around? Like my mom is needing the help with financial problems and my fiance wants me to let her deal with it herself? She says that she put herself into the situation so she can find a way out.
But I feel like I should help her out because I was part of the reason she did what she did to get herself into legal trouble because I wasnt working and neither were my two brothers. So, in order to keep a roof over our head she had to bend the rules. I guess I feel like I should help her a little but my fiance thinks otherwise.
(UNITED STATES) SERIOUS NEED OF HELP. I’m 32 and my wife wants to end our marriage of 4 years. Most of our problems stem from my chaotic upbringing by my emotionally unstable mother and enabling father. For one year I totally cut them out of my life to alleviate hurt and stress and it did help. We just had our first child a month ago and now I feel obligated to make sure they see their only grandchild often. I have been controlled by them my entire life and though I feel I want a relationship, not approval. My wife feels I put them before her.
I love my wife dearly and am very grieved by this. I thought I had left, since I moved out at 18, yet I do see where I am continually manipulated and controlled. I don’t know what to do! :(
(NIGERIA) I am Fredrick by name. I have been dating a girl for more than three year now and now we are about to get married. My parents said the marriage will never hold because they hate the girl and secondly that she is 31 years old and am 28, so I don’t know what to now, if I am to go ahead with the marriage without their approval.
(USA) I was a widow after 27 years of marriage, and I met a wonderful man who had been divorced for 5 years. His wife was an alcoholic. He had two grown sons, and I had a grown daughter and son. They each have their own lives with mates or girlfriends.
My husband and I each are very close to our mothers, both widowed at the time, and had spent quite a bit of time in the company of our mothers. However, when we met, we instantly clicked and started spending time talking on the phone and when possible, in the company of each other. This went on for a year.
My mother remarried and moved to another state to start her wonderful life with a Godly man. My husband feels that we should make the trip every other weekend and spend most the day with his mom, who has no one in her life. She is a member of a local church but doesn’t even attend. Her grandchildren and great-grandchildren come to visit sometimes but she sits on the sofa and waits and watches TV.
My husband feels so guilty that we live in another city, and he is not there to “see” her each evening. I see the guilt consume him. He forgot that this was his weekend to go see his mom, and we enjoyed a day at church and other activities before he realized that he had forgotten his phone and my ringer was cut off. His mom could not reach either of us so she called my daughter to make sure all was well. Again, she had cooked his favorite meal and told him so.
I love my husband’s mom but I am waiting on him to LEAVE & CLEAVE. He is such a loving husband. Its been four years and I frankly do not see any change in the pattern. I believe we should seek Christian counseling for us in our church. Thanks.
(UNITED STATES) Our youngest son and his wife have been married two years. They live 30 minutes away in her mother’s basement. We have seen them about 6 times since the wedding. His wife has issues with our oldest son, and we haven’t seen them since August 20, 2011 when she started yelling at our oldest son on his birthday in our dining room at our house, because she didn’t like the way he was joking with his younger brother -our youngest son.
She has always thought that I hated her, but I barely know her. Our son called us to demand that certain conditions be made or else they wouldn’t see us. I sent them their 2011 Christmas gifts through Amazon per their wish lists on it. My son wants to give me my Christmas gifts sometime in the future. My husband, his father, reminded him that Christmas was last year and this is late January 2012. Since they are a young couple trying to save money, I have offered them food and reminded my son that those torn, holy clothes that he is wearing can be replaced by the stuff he left in the drawers in his room when he moved out if he needs it. He told me to stop offering to give them stuff. Excuse me, but I recall Jesus saying something about offering to help others.
His wife was very insecure in their relationship before their marriage -demanding that our son spend all of his time with her prior to their marriage -she thought he might be meeting with other women on the sly at our house while he was here with our oldest son helping out with the pets while I was with my hubby in Hawaii. Now it is even worse.
A year ago, they asked my husband what he wanted for Christmas of 2010. He told them that we could use help with the pets when we went back to Hawaii in 2011. The reneged on the deal. We aren’t asking them to move in -just to stop by feed the 5 cats and walk the dog at least once a day when our other son was at work. Is that too much to ask after we ran up our credit card bills paying for our son’s college and he never even got a degree?
They never go to any family events on my husband’s side of the family, but do everything with her side of he family -constantly quoting the Bible verse that a man will leave his parents to cleave to his wife. Does that include her family too?
The parents of our oldest son’s girlfriend want to meet our youngest son to see what kind of family she could be marrying into. They are a very nice loving Hispanic family (we’re normal Americans), and they don’t understand why our youngest son refuses to meet them.
I am really torn about what to do. My husband who has tried really hard to like his daughter-in-law. But he is finding her control issues and insecurity making it very difficult to like her. Lately he has been telling others that our youngest son chose poorly when it comes to a wife. Any suggestions?
(USA) I feel I’m having this problem with my husband as well. Since I became pregnant with our son, he has been terrified of hurting his mother’s feelings. She is divorced and never remarried. Even when I was in labor and wanted some peace, he would not even politely ask her to leave for a while. We had told her she did not need to be in the room the entire time, but she showed up early in the morning before I had even met my nurses. I have terrible memories of what would have been a wonderful day, because the entire day became about not offending her.
Recently, I got offered a new job which is a great opportunity for us. My husband wants his mother to look after our three children when my sister-in-law is unavailable. His mother had a stroke just a few months ago and the doctors also found a dangerous arrhythmia. I tried to explain to him why I am not comfortable with her watching our 12 month old, our middle child has major speech problems and the oldest is autistic. I feel if something happened to her it would be a very dangerous situation for the kids, as none of them are capable of communicating enough to get help.
My husband keeps claiming he is not upset with me for feeling this way, but does not share my concerns at all and definitely seems to resent me for my worries. He also told me that I have to be the one to explain to her why she cannot keep them.
I am very hurt, because he seems to continuously put her feelings first, above mine and even above our children’s safety.
(U.S.A.) My spouse and I recently had a falling out and I moved back in with my parents and filed for divorce. My parents have never cared much for my spouse. After filing, I found God and so did my spouse. We have decided to not let Satan win and are planning on reconciling our marriage and renewing our vows for the first time as a Christian couple.
I told my parents that I wasn’t getting divorced and it turned into a screaming match between my mother and me. I felt horrible. She told me that my spouse would never be welcome in her home again and that she didn’t want to hear anything else about him until I was moving out. I tried to explain to her that God hates divorce, what the Bible has to say about divorce, and she refused to hear it!
I’m still living with my parents and I am waiting for God to show me my next move… I feel like he’s not done with my work here in this home. How will I know? And am I using God working through me in my parents as an excuse to stay until I have their approval?
Congratulations on your new relationship with God! I pray for you and your spouse in your individual relationships with our living God and also in your relationship with each other. I’m so happy for you.
As for how you and your husband can plan on “reconciling” your marriage, the important thing is to figure out together what went “wrong” in your marriage, in the first place. And then work on those areas. Don’t think that just because you found God, everything will fall into place. It will still be difficult, but you will be fighting FOR your marriage, rather than against it. God gives us brains to use and information is given all around us to learn and apply to help us build relationship bridges with each other. We have a lot of great articles and relationship tools and recommended resources given on this web site to start you on your way to building a better foundation for your marriage. Don’t rely upon your past “knowledge” to help you build a better marriage this time. It didn’t work before. It won’t work the next time if you don’t put intentionality in learning what you need and APPLYING it to your newly renewed relationship, now.
As for your parents. Please know that they love you and want you NOT to experience pain. And that’s understandable. But they don’t see the full picture. So, don’t get into screaming matches with them. Wisely and quietly apply your heart to learning with your husband how to grow your relationship in ways that are healthy. Don’t share this with your parents right now. They aren’t ready to receive any of this now. But who knows in the future how they will view all of this, as they eventually see that you and your husband are learning how not to have a toxic relationship?
Ask God to show you how long it is wise to stay with your parents. Don’t fight with them, instead put your energy into working on the problem areas of your relationship with your husband. I believe it would be better to wait to renew your vows, when you can do it at a time when you are better able to live together as husband and wife who are able to “be imitators of God, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (as we’re told in Ephesians 5). God will give you wisdom on the timetable on this, as you ask Him.
Learn more about the Lord through reading through the Bible (starting with the New Testament and then going back to the Old Testament, once you learn more about living in the grace and love of the Lord). We have a lot of articles you can read together and discuss together and apply to your lives, which will help you to grow together, on marital issues.
Don’t worry about the “approval” of your parents. That may or may not come in time, but right now, you are wasting more energy in arguing with them, than you really should. You can deal with that when you and your husband are stronger together. And it just may be that most of their objections will be resolved when they eventually find out and see that you are both working together on building a good life together. Your marriage relationship will never be perfect, but it can grow better and better with intentionality and time. (I know from experience.) And IF your parents are still negative in the future, at least you and your husband will be stronger and wiser to face it together.
(USA) My father in law is a very hateful, bitter man and has succeeded in driving away most of his family, except for my husband. He insists on visiting him. I have always gone with him and have been nice, even though I have been treated badly. My husband was told the last time that I am not welcome to come with him anymore.
My husband still plans to visit. I feel hurt and feel that he shouldn’t go anywhere that I am not welcome. I know that if he weren’t welcome at my parents, I sure wouldn’t be visiting them. Am I wrong to feel hurt by this?
(INDIA) Please help. I have been married for 11 years and both my husband and I love each other but the problem is that I keep facing this situation that whenever I am emotionally upset or down he is never willing to listen. At times when I have a fight or argument with anyone he will take that other person’s side even when we both are present that time.
Also he cannot take situations when we are having a bad fight. Very easily he will involve his family and prove once again that he cannot take all this fights. Even I don’t want fights but I would rather not let our fights be public and prefer to deal with it because I strongly believe that the solution of any problem will come from between us and not from others.
Am I wrong in thinking this way and if not, how do I explain it to him? These problems have happened repeatedly a number of times and now I cannot take it any more. Please help.
(UNITED STATES) I have told my wife that it is important for the health of her marriage for both of us to leave our father and mother and cleave to each other.
My wife told me to re-read Genesis 2:24-25. My wife told me that the verse says that: …a MAN shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave to his WIFE…
Does God also desire for: …a WOMAN to leave her father and her mother and cleave to her HUSBAND? Thank You!
(UNITED STATES) I simply wanted to leave a simple thoughts to state your website was awesome. I found it on google lookup, after going through loads of other information that’s not likely related. I was thinking I’d find this much earlier considering how very good the content is.
(USA) I must also agree that this website is fantastic. I am sure it is helping many that are going through tough times. My husband and I have recently married. Yet he is still emotionally bound and constantly asks his parents and sister for their opinions before making a decision. I try hard to make him understand that we, as a couple, need to establish our own identity.
The good thing is that he acknowledges that he is still bound to his parents. But he simply justifies that by saying he is closer to his family than I am. However, it is too close; to the extent that if we have (mostly I) diverging plans than his family initially discussed with us –they emotionally blackmail him by saying he does not love his parents anymore, he does not care about his sister, that his family should always come first.
Additionally, his sister lost her job and broke off her engagement. So she expects all of my husband’s attention to go to her. I understand her difficult position, yet I believe with faith and prayer, and personal strength, she must come out of this situtation on her own. Only so will she truly learn and be able to be a confident, strong woman. This is really difficult to deal with and each time some situation comes up, it ends up in a emotionally draining experience.
We as a married couple are completely happy and have no issues between us ourselves. But the issue with his family is really interfering. I do not know what else to do. Could you please give me some advice? Thanks!
(USA) It’s good to hear. What do you do? I need your advice.
(USA) Maybe someone here can help me out on a related issue I’m having. I found this article because I was trying to figure out when a man is supposed to do the leaving and/or cleaving. I ask this because I am not married yet, but my fiance and I were planning on getting married this summer. He has a great respect for his mother, and decided to give her what he calls “veto power” in our relationship, meaning that if she sees an issue in our relationship (as a third party, issues which we may not be so aware of), she has the power to say that we can’t get married.
Well, today she decided to use that power (we gave her until the end of the month to decide), and she has until further notice called off our marriage. She says that I am too manipulative for her son (only child), even though he has been telling her for the last month that we are becoming closer and closer every day and that he is terribly in love with me and he’s seeing all kinds of improvements in me (since the last time she’s brought up such issues).
I guess what I’m wondering is whether she should have been given such power in the first place. I don’t have a problem with asking parents for input, advice, and wisdom, but I wonder if a parent who is so emotionally biased should be helping so much with this decision. Please help (from a biblical perspective)! Thanks!