Marital Biblical Advice

You can get all kinds of marital advice from family, friends, pastors, counselors, and different kinds of resources (including the Marriage Missions web site). And much of it can be GREAT! However, the best advice you can get is from God Himself as you pray and read the Bible.

The Bible is a wonderful guide that can help us love our spouse as Christ loves the church. After all, the principles for living, that God gives us in the Bible, are also the principles for loving in our marriages.

“For all the problems we face, it’s still true that God’s way is the best way. When you buy a new car, you take the owner’s manual out of the glove compartment, and you read it. We need to do the same thing today. The Bible is the ‘owner’s manual’ for marriage.” (Dr Ray Pritchard)

With this in mind, a friend of the ministry named Debbie sent us the following insight that she found in her father’s pocket Bible after his death. We believe it to be very true and inspirational as well.

It reads:

“The Bible contains the mind of God, the state of man, and the way of salvation. Its doctrines are holy, its precepts binding, its histories true, and its decisions immutable. Read it and be wise. Believe it to be safe, and practice it to be holy. It contains light to direct you, food to support you, and comfort to cheer you.

“It is the traveler’s map, the pilgrim’s staff, and the pilot’s compass. CHRIST is the grand subject, and the glory of God is its end. It should fill the memory, rule the heart, and guide the feet. Read it slowly, frequently, and prayerfully.”

In every aspect of life, you can use the Bible as your map, compass, and sword of Truth. It cuts through the garbage that the enemy of our faith tries to get us to embrace. And when you use the Holy Spirit as your Wonderful Counselor to help guide you through the truths given throughout the pages of the Bible, you will learn principles for living that will help you in your marriage.

Helpful Marital Biblical Advice

So, below are just a few of the many truths you can use to guide you:

“Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.“ (1 Corinthians 7:27-28)

If you think you are marrying to ESCAPE trouble, think again. Or if you believe that marriage will be the beginning of an easier life because you’ve found your “soul mate,” think again. Everyone of us has a sinful nature (see Romans 3:23). And all of us come into marriage with our own expectations, temperaments, personality quirks, differing habits, and emotional baggage.

Some of this we know beforehand. But many of these differences will show themselves later in the marriage as we bump into them. For this reason (and many others), building a good marriage can be challenging. It can be wonderful… but it can be challenging. Please recognize this. “Those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.“

Also note:

“Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.“ (1 Corinthians 10:24)

That’s tough advice! But it’s important not to marry unless you are prepared to live by this principle. However, if you ARE married, you are not the exception to the rule in living out this principle in your everyday life.

In Your Marriage, Apply This Biblical Mandate:

“Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God —even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saves. Follow my example as I follow the example of Christ.“ (1 Corinthians 10:31-33, 11:1)

The question is, are you living your life so that it displays what the Lord can do within marriages? Do others see the love and grace of the Lord displayed by your actions? Or are those who don’t know the Lord in a personal way shown a picture of hypocrisy? Are your actions such that the Lord can use you to draw others to Himself?

Now, that doesn’t mean that you’re a perfect spouse. Your intentions may be perfect (or not); but sometimes even YOU are surprised by your thoughts and actions.

That’s why we’re told, “Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20) This includes your spouse, but this also includes you.

The Apostle Paul wrote about this.

Words We Can All Relate To At Times:

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate I do. …I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do, no, the evil I do not want to do —this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.“ (Romans 7:15-20)

Isn’t this true in marriage? Don’t you sometimes do what you know deep inside that you shouldn’t? And then other times you DON’T do what you should. That is our sin nature rearing its ugly head. Sadly, we give into it, over and over again.

But we hope that you will fight that sin nature. Try to live in such a way that you do not contribute to having a marriage lived out like it says in Philippians 2:21 where, “Everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.”

Our marriages should so reflect the love of God that when others see how we treat each other they want to know our ‘secret.’ When you tell them it’s because of the inspiration and power of the Love of God, it very well may spur them on to want to know your God.

We also hope that you work to give your spouse the grace and space you expect your spouse to give you. He or she is also fighting against his or her sin nature, as well.

Justifying Our Sin

It never ceases to amaze us how, when someone is telling us of the terrible things his or her spouse is doing, the statement is made, “I know I’m not perfect either but…” And then they somehow excuse their own sin! It’s amazing how we can be so quick to justify our own actions and try to minimize their importance. And yet we are so quick to condemn the actions of our spouse.

It reminds us of the man in the Bible who was forgiven a HUGE debt. And yet he was quick to hold back from forgiving the smaller debt of someone else. WE want grace from our spouse and from the Lord. But we hold back from giving it out when we are the ones who need to forgive. However, we are told to:

“Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.” (1 Peter 2:12)

And if you don’t think you can do this, remember:

“In 2 Corinthians 2:14-15 we read, ‘But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing.‘ Now the question for us is: What does it smell like in our homes? If folks walked into our houses, would the fragrance of Christ be present? Do people look at our marriages and see and smell the aroma of Christ?” (Bob Lepine)

So, here’s more biblical advice for your marriage and everyday life:

“Put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” (Colossians 3:14) “Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for one who loves another has fulfilled the law.” (Romans 13:8) “So now faith, hope and love abide, these three: but the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13) “Through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself [and of course, your closest neighbor is your spouse].’” (Galatians 5:13-14) “May the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another.” (1 Thessalonians 3:12)

In closing:

“As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly love, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.” (Colossians 3:12-15)

Follow the principles in the Bible for living, and you will love as Christ does. The Bible truly gives the best marital advice of anyone anywhere.

“May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” (Romans 15:5-7)

Cindy and Steve Wright

— ADDITIONALLY —

To help you even further, we give a lot of personal stories, humor, and more practical tips in our book, 7 ESSENTIALS to Grow Your Marriage. We hope you will pick up a copy for yourself. (It’s available both electronically and in print form.) Plus, it can make a great gift for someone else. It gives you the opportunity to help them grow their marriage. And who doesn’t need that? Just click on the linked title or the picture below:

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