It’s so easy within marriage to become disconnected from your spouse. You can become like ships passing in the night. The two of you barely see or make contact with each other. The marriage disconnection is huge as you tend to other matters.
Sure, you may sleep in the same bed. And sure, you may occupy the same house and even occupy the same room at times. But do you truly feel connected to each other? Do you feel loved and cared about within your marriage relationship? Are you growing together, rather than separately, in different directions?
The Marriage Disconnection
I have to say that there are times when my husband Steve and I have “missed” each other, as far as truly connecting with each other emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. Sometimes, as you run here and there trying to make life work for you, you end up neglecting that, which you claim you care the most about —your relationship with your spouse (and often, with your God). That’s happened to us too at times, for sure!
Fortunately, when that has happened, we’ve learned to look for ways to connect again. Our goal is to keep our marriage as a partnership. We want it to be one in which we both feel connected to and loved by the other.
In writing on this issue, I’m not going to go into a big dissertation here about the importance of romancing each other. Although yes …it is important to romance each other. I’m not going to write on the importance of finding ways to connect with your spouse so your relationship doesn’t get off-track (if it isn’t already). If you don’t realize the importance of this point, you should. That, which you want to remain alive needs to be fed and cared for or it will die. It’s as simple as that. This is especially true as it pertains to your love relationship with your spouse.
A Wake Up Call
Instead, this is just a simple wake up call to those who can and should respond, in finding ways to make it a priority to go beyond loving your spouse. You also need to show that you do. Show love in such a way that your spouse feels like he or she matters to you.
I believe what Dennis and Barbara Rainey write in their book, Moments With You: Daily Connections for Couples is important for us to take to heart:
“There are a lot of barriers to romance in your marriage —primarily the hectic pace of your lives. But you married each other to become intimate partners, not traffic controllers. And that requires time just being together.
“…Don’t let romance slip out of your life. It isn’t dependent on the newness of your marriage but on the freshness of your heart. It depends upon the tenacious desire not to let the crush of life keep you from having a crush on each other.”
Tenaciously Love As God Does
As we’re told in the Bible,
“Be imitators of God, as dearly loved children. And live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (Ephesians 5:1)
Look for ways to “freshen” up your relationship. Work on not allowing so much of the mundane to eat up the time you should be spending with each other. Work on your marriage so it truly reflects the love of God in word and deed.
If you need help in doing that, look around this web site. Ask God to show you what you need to read and apply to your marriage relationship.
May the Lord bless you and your marriage, as you apply yourself to this important mission!
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this blog.
Filed under: Marriage Blog