I Don’t Even Like Him—How Can I Pray for Him?
Have you ever been so mad at your husband that the last thing you wanted to do was pray for him? So have I. It’s hard to pray for someone when you’re angry or he’s hurt you.
But that’s exactly what God wants us to do. If He asks us to pray for our enemies, how much more should we be praying for the person with whom we have become one and are supposed to love? But how do we get past the unforgiveness and critical attitude?
Honest with God
The first thing to do is be completely honest with God. In order to break down the walls in our hearts and smash the barriers that stop communication, we have to be totally up front with the Lord about our feelings. We don’t have to “pretty it up” for Him. He already knows the truth. He just wants to see if we’re willing to admit it and confess it as disobedience to His ways. If so, He then has a heart with which He can work.
Power of Praying Wife
If you’re angry at your husband, tell God. Don’t let it become a cancer that grows with each passing day. Don’t say, “I’m going to live my life and let him live his.” There’s a price to pay when we act entirely independently of one another. “Neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:11).
Instead say:
“Lord, nothing in me wants to pray for this man. I confess my anger, hurt, unforgiveness, disappointment, resentment, and hardness of heart toward him. Forgive me and create in me a clean heart and right spirit before You. Give me a new, positive, joyful, loving, forgiving attitude toward him. Where he has erred, reveal it to him and convict his heart about it. Lead him through the paths of repentance and deliverance. Help me not to hold myself apart from him emotionally, mentally, or physically because of unforgiveness. Where either of us needs to ask forgiveness of the other, help us to do so.
If there is something I’m not seeing that’s adding to this problem, reveal it to me and help me to understand it. Remove any wedge of confusion that has created misunderstanding or miscommunication. Where there is behavior that needs to change in either of us, I pray You would enable that change to happen. As much as I want to hang on to my anger toward him because I feel it’s justified, I want to do what You want. I release all those feelings to You. Give me a renewed sense of love for him and words to heal this situation.”
A Challenge
If you feel you’re able, try this little experiment and see what happens. Pray for your husband every day for a month using each one of the 30 areas of prayer I’ve included in this book. Pray a chapter a day. Ask God to pour out His blessings on him and fill you both with His love. See if your heart doesn’t soften toward him. Notice if his attitude toward you doesn’t change as well. Observe whether your relationship isn’t running more smoothly.
If you have trouble making that kind of prayer commitment, think of it from the Lord’s perspective. Seeing your husband through God’s eyes—not just as your husband, but as God’s child, a son whom the Lord loves —can be a great revelation. If someone called and asked you to pray for his or her son, you would do it, wouldn’t you? Well, God is asking.
There is a time for everything, as it says in the Bible. That’s never more true than in marriage, especially when it comes to the words we say. There is a time to speak and a time not to speak, and happy is the man whose wife can discern between the two.
Pray Rather Than Say
Anyone who has been married for any length of time realizes that there are things that are better left unsaid. A wife has the ability to hurt her husband more deeply than anyone else can, and he can do the same to her. No matter how much apology, the words cannot be erased. They can only be forgiven and that’s not always easy. Sometimes anything we say will only hinder the flow of what God wants to do, so it’s best to, well, shut up and pray.
This is an excerpt from, The Power of a Praying® Wife
— TO HELP YOUR FURTHER —
Below are linked articles to read to guide you to pray for your husband in different ways than you might have otherwise thought:
• 10 Things Praying for Your Husband Does for You (the Wife)
• 30 Days of Praying for Your Husband
Filed under: For Married Women Spiritual Matters
(SOUTH AFRICA) Dear LT, Thank you very much for your response, now I understand more of what God wants to do in my life and why He is keeping me in that place.
I am going to practice not to complain anymore. I believed in my heart that I was not bitter but hurt and angry. But now I can see reading through my own post that I am bitter. Lord, I pray in the name of Jesus that you deliver me from this bitterness in my heart and in my life, because I do not want to be a bitter person at all. Your words says that the Joy of the Lord is our strength and please Lord give me your Joy and your peace that passes all understanding. Please give it to me and my children — all three of them. Lord, Bless each and every person on this website and undertake in their trials, raise them and lift them up so that we can encourage each other daily through your Holy Spirit.
Thank you very much LT. I love all of you very much and I appreciate and thank God that there is people like all of you in this world.
I have one question that I would like you to answer me. Does this mean I look on and be prayerful or does this mean that I interact with them? Because the Bible says that we must keep away from negative people. My ex-husband wants me to be friends with his girlfriend. I don’t have a reason to be friends with her at all. Is that wrong of me? I can be civil and greet her and that is as far as it goes, but being friends with her is a different thing. My pastor always says that if you befriend people, whatever is on their lives transfers onto you, and I am praying and striving to live a pure live in the eyes of God so I do not want any transference to take place from anybody. Please tell me what to do. God uses all of us to answer each other.
I have a beautiful message again for everybody. Be blessed. Love Leonie:
Honor and majesty are [found] in His presence; strength and joy are [found] in His sanctuary. —I Chronicles 16:27
Emotional trauma drains people of their energy. But the Word says, “Be not grieved and depressed, for the joy of the Lord is your strength and stronghold” (Nehemiah 8:10). The devil wants to steal your joy because he knows that joy is your strength. He wants you to be weak so that you won’t resist the turmoil he sets against you. That is why sometimes we need each other.
Some days God will send messengers to build you up in faith and renew your joy. Some days He will send you to someone else who is in a weakened condition because Satan has been pounding on them. Be someone’s friend today. They may need a friend to stand beside them and encourage them and to lift them up and pray for them.
Thank you LT, Thank you Lord for sending all these friends on marriage missions to encourage each other and to lift us up each and everyday. Amen.
This is a prayer a friend of mine sent me, I hope it helps some of you because it helped me.
DEBT OF LOVE:
Oh, Holy God …Help me to approach Your throne With humility,
Ever mindful of the grace I never earned,
Continually thankful for the mercy I don’t deserve
And the awesome debt of love I can never repay.
Let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe.
Hebrews 12:28
The God of my rock,in Him will I trust.
He is my shield, and the horn of my salvation,’
my high tower, and my refuge,my savior." 2 Samuel 22:3
(USA) Cheryl, That’s the devil. Have you ever heard of the saying "the honeymoon is over?" Well, there is a reason why because the devil doesn’t like the fact that you to are living righteously and have gotten married. It really makes that little devil mad. Don’t worry just keep praying. Every one fights and questions what choices they made after returning from the "moon". The devil is just attacking you pretty hard right now, and just try and recognize that every time. Don’t stop praying for your husband. Don’t give in or the devil wins and he can’t ever win you when you have God in your corner. By the way nice to meet you Cheryl and God Bless you. You’ll be in my prayers. Love ya
Leonie, While I agree with LT, there is one thing I’d also like you to consider. What do you mean by complaining? If you’re telling the Lord your woes and heartaches then that is what you should be doing according to Matthew 11:28-30. But if your complaints are against God, then that is wrong. Don’t complain about the life He’s given you or the tasks He asks of you. However your feelings of disappointment with your self, anger, or sadness belong to Him. Because if you can’t bring them to him then you’ll never have rest. Just make sure that your grateful for what the Lord has blessed you with and don’t let your neg. feelings overshadow that.
By the way how is your oldest boy doing? Is he getting along better now? I pray for you and your family and protection. Love ya
Love, Lynne
(USA) Dearest Leonie, I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to respond to your plea for an answer to your questions. I was gone from morning until night yesterday, and this is the first opportunity I could take to write you. But you have been on my heart and in my prayers. I want to tell you that I deeply grieve for you and your sons. Your husband and his family have betrayed in a horrible, inhumane way and my heart, and the hearts of many others who read of your situation, cry and pray with you and for you. It is absolutely understandable why you would be so hurt over this.
You ask, “Is it wrong to complain to God about what you are going through?” My answer is, there is a difference between complaining and NOT trusting God, and grieving for a horrible experience you are living through. From everything you have written, it seems like you are working through grief — not distrusting God’s ability to provide for you. Even King David, called “a man after God’s own heart” grieved. You can read it throughout the Psalms. He didn’t just sit back and say, “Go ahead and run over me and I will act as if I’m just fine with it.” He poured out his heart to God.
Psalm 73 is a good example of Asaph crying out to God. In it he questions why some people who do evil are allowed to get away with all kinds of injustices, and yet they are prospering. In verse 12 he says, “This is what the wicked are like — always carefree, they increase in wealth.” And then he questions whether living “right” is worth it. He says, “Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure; in vain have I washed my hands in innocence. All day long I have been plagued; I have been punished every morning. If I said, ‘I will speak thus,’ I would have betrayed your children. When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me…”
He TRIED to understand and even questioned the wisdom of living in God’s ways. It shows that God can handle it when we cry out like this. But then he goes on to say… “when I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me TILL I ENTERED THE SANCTUARY OF GOD; then I understood their final destiny.” He goes on to say what God revealed to him of the “slippery ground” they lived upon.
He also says, “When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.” Again, this shows that God allowed Him to process through his emotions, even to the point that he was “ignorant” and a “brute beast” before God for a time. It shows God can handle it. I believe that this was because even though he was a “brute beast”, God knew his heart. He knew that this was all a part of Asaph’s humanness, but He also knew that Asaph still trusted him and still loved him — he just needed to process through his confusion and his hurting heart. But he acknowledged that God led him and realized “Whom have I in heaven but you?” He goes on to acknowledge what God did for him. And then he said, “Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you” (notice that he doesn’t say that this will be done in his timetable, but in God’s). “But as for me, it was good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;” (as you have) “I will tell of all your deeds” (as you do).
God knows your heart Leonie. He is your Heavenly Father. If we can’t grieve and cry out to God over the injustices that happen to us and plead for His help and look to Him for comfort and help, who can we cry out to? Asaph did, David did, and that makes me believe that we can also. This is ESPECIALLY true since your own parents are no longer living on this earth. You don’t have the same human support system of having empathetic parents that is available to many, so it’s all the more reason to lean upon the Lord during times of injustice and times when your heart hurts.
A good thing to do is to pray through the Psalms. When you feel led, use the Psalms that God leads you to use, as outlines to pray up to God whatever the Spirit impresses upon your heart to pray and cry out. Allow the Spirit to guide you and help you to get the garbage out of your inner being. Just pray and cry out what is on your heart — unload and pray for everything and everyone that comes to your mind. He can handle it. You’re not questioning His character, you’re asking God to help you get through something that people are unfairly putting upon you and your sons.
What loving parent wouldn’t want their child to bring their hurts to them? And if one of your sons brought his pain to you, would you punish him? No. But you might correct them if they questioned your love for them or were blatantly rude and tried to demean you. But most of all, you would love them and understand that they need to work through their feelings with someone that loves them. And sometimes, you might even be able to change things in their eyes, but you don’t for reasons you can’t fully explain to them in a way they could understand (like making them go to school, or going to the doctor when you know the doctor is going to hurt them in some way, etc.). That would make you all the more sympathetic to their pain, as I’m sure it does with our Heavenly Father.
I don’t want to belabor this side of what you are asking. But I hope you understand. You love your sons and want to be there for them to process through and comfort them when they need you. God is your perfect parent. He loves you and is there for you as you need him. “Cast your cares upon Him for He cares for you.”
As for your sister, bless her heart! I know she means well. But she just doesn’t know how to best handle the enormity of what you are going through. I’m sure she feels like she is justified in telling you to “trust the Lord” — but you are doing that. LT gave you a good answer on this.
But also keep in mind that many people don’t know how to handle huge hurts when we bring them to them. They don’t know how to comfort in the ways that we need it. They don’t realize that just because we grieve, it doesn’t mean that we don’t trust. And in their humanness, they can’t handle how uncomfortable it makes them feel when we unload on them something that they can’t fix. They just want your pain to go away so badly that they resort to making statements like your sister made to “trust God” and don’t talk to her anymore about it. That way she doesn’t have to feel uncomfortable anymore in hearing about your pain. She also doesn’t understand the enormity of the pain you’re experiencing. You aren’t asking her to do what God can do, but to be a human ear and give empathy from a human perspective. But she hasn’t gone through what you are experiencing (thank God) and obviously, she doesn’t know how to empathize and put herself into your shoes so she could give you human comfort. It’s easier to give those kinds of answers when you aren’t living it.
I’m not questioning her love for you, or whether she’s a wonderful person or not. I’m sure she loves you and is a great sister. This is just an area of her life where she just isn’t able to give as much as you need from another human being. And my heart goes out to you that you can’t get that from her.
You also ask about interacting with your ex-husband and his girlfriend. The verse came to mind when I read that. “Be ye separate from them.” Read 2 Corinthians 6:14-18. Also, 1 Corinthians 15:33 that says that “Bad company corrupts good character.” That’s probably what your pastor was talking about. It does rub off on you and you’re living through it. It is not unkind to find ways to separate yourself from the sin they are practicing. You can be kind but firm in not allowing their behavior to come into your living space.
LT is right about bitterness. It’s only natural that it would find ways to try to invade your being. These circumstances are ripe with poisons that can lead to bitterness. And your husband and his girlfriend and his parents are all living in total denial as to the toxicity of the sinful circumstances they are allowing themselves to participate in. You need to fight bitterness with a vengeance or it will poison your life. (We have more on this in the “Bitterness and Forgiveness” section of our web site that could possibly help you with this journey.) You will have a daily journey in fighting this. Just be patient with yourself, but aggressive in fighting it. It will harm you and your sons more than anyone else.
I want to say one more thing, and that is to keep praying about moving away from the home of your former in-laws. Pray about whether it was the Lord that told you to stay there beyond the day of the divorce finalization (and not the enemy of our faith posing as an “angel of light” to confuse you). I say this because it flies in the face of scripture (like in 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 and others) for Him to tell you to stay and yet be separate. You are in an unequally yoked situation when you are yoked with them in living in the same house. They are putting fire into their laps (as the scriptures talk about with adulterous situations) and you are in the same vicinity with them so you could be in danger of being so close to the fire that you can get burned. Each day is a new day. It also causes tension and adds to the confusion — especially for your sons who see all of this contrary-to-truth behavior, going on with their father. They are seeing more than their young minds can comprehend.
And it lends itself to bitterness for you as you have a prodigal husband living his sinful lifestyle in front of you. OF COURSE it would hurt, and of course you would see so much that would give the enemy of our faith room to plant unhealthy thoughts in you. It’s one thing to have a vague idea of what’s going on; it’s another thing to see the specifics lived out in front of you.
So, unless it is a “Hosea” situation where God has a different purpose that we don’t see, I would question if God told you this specific point to keep living with them after the divorce was finalized. The other things that were said to you might have been from God, but I would question this.
However, if you feel like God IN TRUTH, I would pray for His mercy to release you and your sons to live away from the sin they are practicing. I would keep asking for mercy (as the woman who kept petitioning the judge until he finally gave her what she asked for because of her persistence) and then act upon it quickly when God gives it. For your sons sake I would do this. But I trust that you will know what to ask and how often to do so. I see God definitely working in your life.
I pray the best for you and your sons under these horrible circumstances. You are doing amazingly well considering all you have been through and are going through. I know that is because of your faith in God and His faithfulness to help you to stay sane through all of this. You are very loved. Please know that many of us care about you and are praying for you. My love to you in Christ Jesus, Cindy
(SOUTH AFRICA (CAPE TOWN) Good Morning Everybody. Thank you very much Cindy and Lynne. I understand fully now, God gives me time to grieve and to hurt. When I feel hurt I tell him that I am hurting and why I am hurting.
I know Cindy, that my sister loves me very much and she cannot stand to see me hurting. God allowed her once in church under His anointing to touch my hand and feel my pain, and that was the same time His anointing allowed me to cry. Whenever I am under His anointing I just cry and I could not understand why, until that evening when she told me that God is healing me and through this He lets me cry. I trust God with my whole heart and and I know that He is in control.
LT, I read the whole chapter of Philippians 4 last night. It is a beautiful chapter. The whole Bible is fulled with beautiful scriptures. I am thankful that God wants to bring me to be the person He had in mind before Adam and Eve sinned in the garden. I prayed last night, and for the first time I felt like I was being lifted off and transported into space. I felt like I was flying. I prayed with a thankful heart for everything. My heart is in anguish and God knows that, but He also knows that I trust Him for the circumstances that I am in.
Bitterness? I do not want to be bitter, not at all, I experienced bitterness when I was young with my mother when my father left, it is not a nice thing. And like you said Cindy, it effected me and my other siblings. But God delivered her from that and she and my father got back together again as friends.
My sister does not understand my pain. There is a saying that goes that you have to walk a mile in somebodies shoes before you understand what they are going through or where they have been. She tries to help me but some days she breaks me down more than she helps me and I feel inferior to Gods love.
Is it a nice thing to see the man that you loved, was married with for so long, and shared beautiful children with, caressing somebody else? I have to endure that and say nothing. I feel something yes, but God lets me see everything and I hear everything.
Me and him had a discussion the other night and he warned me not to talk to certain people because they go back to his girlfriend to tell her what I said. I asked him when they are getting married and very reluctantly and after a minute he told me he does not know.
I sometimes feel so sorry for this girl because I know what she is gonna go through with him and his family. They are all takers. They take emotionally and spiritually. It is their way or the highway. I never wanted to convert to their church, I cannot serve a dead God and betray my Living Saviour, the God of Abraham and David. I am sorry, if that one thing cost me my marriage, then so be it. They believe in their Apostles and their priests, not me, you can trust no man, but you can always, ALWAYS, trust God. That is the way I feel and it will never change. I love the Lord and He is not a man that He should lie.
You see Cindy, the one thing that I have learned in my life is that people think because you serve God, you are without sin. They do not understand that we are still living on the earth and we are not in heaven yet. We do not have wings yet. We are all born with sinful natures, but have to strive to perfection. Yes when we serve God it is going to cost us, but with God everything is a process, nothing happens over night. God gives us our trials to build character. I need to be real to God and to myself and cannot hide that fact that I am a human being that is hurting for me, for my boys, and for my daughter.
I feel very sorry for them when the switch of things is going to come, because I know that it is going to happen, God revealed it to me and I believe Him.
Thank you for your encouragement. Have a blessed weekend and I will only be able to speak to you on Tuesday again because we have a Long weekend here in the SA. I pray for peace in mine and my boys lives.
PS: My baby of 3 was swearing when his father was here and when he left, it stopped. But last night I heard him saying the same word again. I am praying that God blesses his mouth, his eyes and ears and that he will speak, see, and hear good things and that God delivers him from swearing.
Lynne, my older boy is ok. He is angry with his dad and his girlfriend, but I am praying that the Holy Spirit will make him bold enough and give him the words to speak to his dad about how he feels about this whole ugly, horrible situation that this child has to endure. I believe that God is gonna come through with everything that is good in my boys lives.
Cindy, what is a Davids calling on your life? God showed me that my 3yr old son has a David calling on his life. I need to get a bit of an understanding in that. My eldest son has been called into ministry. God showed me his heart. he has a heart for God. He loves the Lord. he has a gentle spirit. I just need to understand the David calling please.
Thank you all, love you very much. Be blessed. Leonie
(USA) Hi Leonie, Thanks for the update. I wanted to first comment about your living situation again. I agree with Cindy – keep praying for new "digs." I agree with her whole message to you and I believe it is good to find the opinion of more than just one Christian because God gives different pieces of different puzzles to all of us. None of us corner the market on God’s knowledge.
I wanted to clarify my position on my writing about the reason for you being in your current home. I’m operating on the assumption that you do not have a choice. In other words, that you have no other place to go. In which case, it is a trial to live there and God always uses that to strengthen our character. Cindy mentioned that you might be there because you feel God told you to stay. If that is the case, then I was unaware of that and then I would say what she said – pray for God’s will in that matter. I do agree that if you have a choice and could choose another place to live tomorrow, you should prayerfully seek that.
Another thing I wanted to write about was David’s calling. I know you posed the question to Cindy and I’m sure she will have her own answers that God gives her but I wanted to share with you what God has shown me about David. I’ve never heard the term "David’s calling," but I’ve read I Samuel and parts of II Samuel. This is where David’s life is really laid out in detail.
Part of the reason I read this was because I was told it is a good reference for wives who are living under "harsh rule" by their husbands (i.e. abusive husbands, either verbally, physically or emotionally). Saul was David’s "head" or boss. Then he became jealous of David and started to literally track him down to kill him. Throughout all those ordeals, David fled when he felt his life was in danger but he NEVER disrespected Saul.
The other big thing to note about David was his total unabashed zeal for God and he would stand up to people, even his superiors, when it came to his God. He was STRONG for God, despite trying circumstances. He was small compared to his brothers and the Israelites who were camped out on the front lines of battle with the Philistines. Those men, all physically bigger than David, were afraid of Goliath. He’d go out and mock the God of the Israelites and David, the smallest (the runt) was the one who ended up getting angry that Goliath had the audacity to mock the one true God AND that these other Israelite men were sitting by, in fear, and doing nothing to stand up for their God. Obviously God gave David this zeal and strength to go out and stand up to someone mocking his God, but still – he answered the call. All of this is in I Samuel -a REALLY good book in the Old Testament. II Samuel is more of David’s life after he Saul died and he became king of Israel.
I wanted to finish up in applauding you that you are standing up for your true God and not going along with a church you know is teaching false doctrine’s (your husband’s church). If that is what is ultimately the cost of your standing up for what is true then you did the right thing, as hard as that is, and then no wonder your boys would be feeling calls into the ministry. They are watching their mother stand up for God in a quiet type of strength, befitting of a Godly woman.
God bless you for your faithfulness and your children, Leonie.
And to all the other ladies, including Leonie, if you ever want to read a book about people giving up everything and paying VERY DEARLY for their faith, read the book The Heavenly Man by Brother Yun. It will make you less sorry for trials you are going through after reading what this man and other early Chinese Christians went through. It was one of the most inspirational books I’ve ever read. God bless.
(NAMIBIA) Hi Ladies. We are still receiving the silent treatment at home. I decided to change my focus from my marriage and concentrate on my spiritual growth and my kids. The thing that still hurts the most is the effect all of this is having on my kids.This weekend I felt as I was praying that divorce will be the best option for now. I want some advice please. In the beginning we talked about the affair, but we didn’t see someone together to guide us through this mess. My husband doesn’t want to talk about this issue anymore. I feel we must see someone but he doesn’t want to. Is this really ok? The is some stuff that I found out that he didn’t tell me. I must I let it go or can I confront him? I think its fair that he tells me everything and he think we must just move on. This is a sign of not wanting to deal with the problem.
My emotions are running away with me cause I feel so unloved. I can’t believe that he is the same man that loved me so much and now whenever we talk about his moods he keeps on saying "What you see is what you get". I think his biggest problem now is that me and the kids are on a separate spiritual level than he is.
I keep on praying that God will help me understand why he is treating me like I’m the culprit. From where I’m standing now I believe that to divorce him, I will be free of all this emotions and my kids will feel better if he is not around. Please help, I’m so low today. Thanks for all the support. Luv u all. Stay blessed.
(SOUTH AFRICA) Hi Everybody. I hope you had a good weekend. It is good to be back. LT thanks for your message, I just need to clear up something. I do not have a choice living there because I do not have anywhere else to go. I am sure what Cindy meant is that I kept on petitioning God to move me and by God I have faith in Him. Those that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.
I cannot afford to move out because I do not get any financial help from my former husband. He is not working yet. The places are expensive here to rent. So I have to wait on God to give me a place that I can afford and I do believe that place is being prepared for me and the kids, all three of my kids, not just my boys.
I just want to share this with you guys, my one brother in-law’s girlfriend told me that a lady approached her and told her that she must be careful because somebody wants to take her boyfriend. They are planning on getting married and have two kids before they got saved. She phoned me yesterday and told me that God showed her that my former mother in-law is busy with witchcraft and that she wants to have happen with them that she had happen with me and my husband. She is the one who did all these things, but then I knew that. What I also know is that she wants me to die. She wants me dead and she wants this friend of mine also to die in her car with her two kids, because she is jealous of things in our lives, because of the love we have for others, our kids and other people. She never had that. I cannot help that; all I can do is pray for her.
I prayed last night in the place I am living in and God took me to a new height. The Holy Spirit took over and I started speaking in tongues and started kicking out the demons that are in my place and I anointed my kids with oil and with the blood of Jesus. I prayed for them when I opened my eyes again this morning. The first thing I said was “Thank you Lord for the night, Lord cover these boys with your blood.” God is sooooooo faithful. He gives us love that we never earned and do not deserve. I love Him so much.
LT I do not know what a David’s calling is, because David was a warrior and he praised and worshiped God so it is a bit confusing to me. Yes my baby has that calling on his life. God really blessed him like He does all of us. My baby likes to sing and He is not afraid of people. He is only three years old but he stands up to his brother of eight and he comforts me when I am crying. God has really given me three beautiful kids and I am grateful and thank Him for them. I will do the best I can to bring them up in His way alone. God Bless you all. Love. Leonie
(LATVIA) Dear Lande and all others, I’m visiting this page almost every day for more than 2 months since I’m going through very serious marriage crisis – my situation is in a way similar to all of yours. I’m married for 8 years, we are Christians. When we married my husband was a pastor (not anymore for 6 years) and we dreamed of serving God together. But things went quite not the way we were hoping.
My husband told me he loves me as a person but not as a women already many years ago. We tried to solve it somehow but nothing changed. Only now I found out it is because of his porn addiction which has become more and more serious and has been part of all of his life and our marriage. As a result he committed adultery on his business trip, came home and said is considering a divorce. I was in shock and absolutely desperate.
In the middle of all this I cried to God and was looking for relief and answers how to live forward. I started to search on internet for any advice or help because my Christian friends just couldn’t help me. God has lead me in all this and has provided with great blessings through people serving in internet. This is one of the forums where I have received great encouragement to survive, to come closer to God and fight for my husband’s salvation and redemption of our marriage.
Recently I found out one internet page which is so helpful to me at the moment as things are still rough in my marriage (my husband decided not to leave, stopped the affair but he hasn’t repented from porn yet. Nevertheless things have tremendously improved because at least he is willing to look for a way out with God).
Dear Lande, finally I decided to write my comment here, because I just felt I must share what a tremendous help I receive from one more internet source http://www.rejoiceministries.org. I feel your pain because I’m going through the same feelings of pain and abandonment from my husband. http://www.rejoiceministries.org is created by couple who has went through adultery, even through divorce and then through reconciliation and remarriage. They encourage everyone to stand for their marriage, not to give up and to come close to God, because these trials are exactly all about repenting, growing closer to God and laying all trust in Him like never before.
I can testify that through this trial in my life, I have come closer to God like never before. I can shout loud "Thank you God" for what has happened in my life because I was very back-slidden from God and this was His merciful wake up call to save me. As he saved my from my sins, I believe he can and will save my husband from his, because our God is a Mighty God and sent Jesus to save us. We fall and this is just human. Even David fell in adultery. A lot of Christian couples suffer from these kinds of experiences. We just have to hold on to God and not let divorce even be considered as a solution. God can heal the most impossible situations. Just go to God, cry every pain to him and ask for his mighty strength to come in the middle of all this and save you, your husband and your marriage. And do not punish yourself. Your husband sins not because of you but because of Satan who has captured him and wants to destroy you and your marriage.
One more source you can benefit tremendously is http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com. Remember, you are not alone in all this! God is with you and all other women and men going through this. Just hold on to God and Jesus our Saviour and he will show you the way out of despair and joy the future holds for you!
I will be happy, if this somehow ease your pain and give a hope! With love in Christ, Lilita
(SOUTH AFRICA (CAPE TOWN) Hi all, Hope everybody is doing ok. Cindy I am waiting for a reply from you on my question please. But in any case I have a story for you guys again.
TEENAGER’S VIEW OF HEAVEN
17-year-old Brian Moore had only a short time to write something for a class. The subject was what Heaven was like. ‘I wowed ’em,’ he later told his father, Bruce. ‘It’s a killer. It’s the bomb. It’s the best thing I ever wrote…’ It also was the last. Brian Moore died May 27, 1997, the day after Memorial Day. He was driving home from a friend’s house when his car went off Bulen-Pierce Road in Pickaway County and struck a utility pole. He emerged from the wreck unharmed but stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted.
The Moore’s framed a copy of Brian’s essay and hung it among the family portraits in the living room. ‘I think God used him to make a point. I think we were meant to find it and make something out of it,’ Mrs. Moore said of the essay. She and her husband want to share their son’s vision of life after death. ‘I’m happy for Brian. I know he’s in heaven. I know I’ll see him.’
Brian’s Essay: The Room…
In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read ‘Girls I have liked.’ I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.
This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn’t match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.
A file named ‘Friends’ was next to one marked ‘Friends I have betrayed.’ The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird ‘Books I Have Read,’ ‘Lies I Have Told,’ ‘Comfort I have Given,’ ‘Jokes I Have Laughed at .’ Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: ‘Things I’ve yelled at my brothers.’ Others I couldn’t laugh at: ‘Things I Have Done in My Anger’, ‘Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.’ I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.
Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.
When I pulled out the file marked ‘TV Shows I have watched’, I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn’t found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.
When I came to a file marked ‘Lustful Thoughts,’ I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content.
I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!’ In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn’t matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it..
Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it.. The title bore ‘People I Have Shared the Gospel With.’ The handle was brighter than those around it,seemed newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.
And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.
No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn’t bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.
He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn’t anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn’t say a word. He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. ‘No!’ I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was ‘No, no,’ as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn’t be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.
He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, ‘It is finished.’ I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written. ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. ‘-Phil. 4:13 ‘For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.’
I hope you enjoy it. Be blessed. Love Leonie
(USA) Hello Ladies, Last night my hubby and I had an argument because he has been crossing my boundary for over 6 years that I am unbearable. He makes decisions without me that I truly dislike and feel dishonor. He yelled at me to pack my stuff and asked me to leave in front of my stepson. He has been pushing me to leave the house since last year. I feel terrible about him especially because he disrespected me by using nasty words and asking me to leave the house in front of the children.
My friends from church have been praying for him because they realized my hubby is very broken after he shared his life story with them. They felt my hubby doesn’t not have God in him. Every time when he talked about God, they felt there is no spirit in him and his words were not sincere.
My marriage did not go well not long after we got married. He had married twice before and had a kid from each marriage. During our early relationship, I didn’t know he had a second child who was a baby. When he disclosed the second child with me, I was shocked and even angry because he was dishonest at the beginning of our relationship. I guess I was too in love and naive that I couldn’t see the future being with him. His second child has ADHD and I have a hard time handling him. That causes extra waves in my marriage.
Our lives have been revolving with his ex-wives and kids because he was afraid his ex-wives would use the children as a leverage to ask for a large amount of child support. He quit his job in 2004 because of them. I became the bread winner in the family since then and I have trouble looking upon him. Recently he gained employment, which I am happy. Meanwhile, I am so afraid because I don’t know when he will quit for his reasons. Can you all imagine the fear I have in my heart?
I have been praying, asking, seeking, begging and crying for God’s help for a long time. I feel hopeless in my marriage because I really don’t see that he has God in him myself. He told me he would be better off finding another woman in front of his son. I want to move out sometime because, all in all, this really affects my spiritual growth, work and mental health. He spent my equity and now he wanted me to leave without a dime. I feel I am being used. Even he tells me he loves me when he is calm. I just don’t feel loved at all.
I have been visiting a counselor that he refused to go to because he didn’t think he has any issues and the problem is me. The counselor and the church friends commented that my marriage will stay the same until God changes him. Ladies, what would you do if you were me? Gigi
(USA) Dear Leonie, Thank you for your patience in my getting back to you. You asked me a question a few days ago, but I just haven’t been able to answer. I’ve been extremely busy. I greatly apologize for the delay.
I have been praying about the answer I am to give you because frankly, I have never heard of the term “A David’s calling” before. I’m not sure where you heard it, but I’ll do the best I know how, to answer your question. It was: “What is a David’s calling on your life? God showed me that my 3yr old son has a David calling on his life. I need to get a bit of an understanding in that. My eldest son has been called into ministry. God showed me his heart. He has a heart for God. He loves the Lord. He has a gentle spirit. I just need to understand the David calling please.”
In praying and reading, I believe that “A David’s calling” would be: to live your life in such a way that you declare that “the battle is the Lords” –participating with God in the deliverance He can bring in helping you to overcome the “Goliaths” you encounter. As you put your faith and trust in Him, you are freed from the strongholds that could enslave and bring you down, and are empowered to live beyond the potential of what men may think possible.
I believe it is living your life in the center of God’s will, mindful of who He is, with the determination to glorify God in all you do (no matter the difficulty of the obstacles you face)– participating in the work He has ordained for you to carry out. It’s not that your life will be free from trouble as you live out your calling — quite the contrary, but you will live beyond the tribulations you encounter and God will be glorified. Light will overcome darkness. The weak are shown to be strong through the power of the Lord. “So David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and with a stone” (1 Samuel 17:50).
Your sons may or may not have this calling upon their lives (I tend to think they could), but it will be up to them to grab onto their calling and not listen to the giants they encounter or be intimidated, but participate with God in living a victorious life through the power of Jesus Christ. However, there’s one other thing you should be mindful of: if they do have a “David’s calling” upon their life, they very well could face many of the temptations that David faced. It will be important that they are “on the alert” as the Bible talks about in 1 Peter 5 because the enemy of our faith will look for ways to take them down. God is able to help them escape temptation, but they will need to be mindful of their vulnerabilities and stand strong in the Lord. Your prayer support could also be important.
I know this is a long, multi-layered answer for a short question, but this is what came to me as I was praying about my answer to you. Pray to see if this is what God is telling you and pray beyond my immediate words as to what this could mean. I wish I could give you more of an answer than this, but this is the little I have to give. I pray the Lord speaks to your heart and mind beyond these words.
“May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing His will, and may He work in us what is pleasing to Him, through Jesus Christ to whom be the glory for ever and ever” (Hebrews 13:20-21). Blessings in Him, Cindy
(SOUTH AFRICA) Hi Gigi, Firstly I am not going to tell you what to do. You should pray about it and let God’s Spirit lead you.
As I was reading your post I saw such a lot of my marriage in it. My former husband also started off our relationship on lies, not just one but a lot and right through our marriage it was filled with lies. Because he was hurt all his life he could not handle somebody that genuinely loved him. I want to give you a post that I have received and I hope it helps a little.
Why Hurt People Hurt People
It is an old adage that says "hurt people hurt people." It is well known that those who have been emotionally damaged tend to inflict their hurt and pain on other people. For example, a large percentage of those who have been sexually abused become the abusers of others; those who suffered under an alcoholic parent often themselves cause their future family to suffer because of their drunken stupors. Until we as a church deal with the whole person as shown in 1 Thessalonians 5:23 our congregations will be filled with people who are spiritually gifted but act like emotional infants. In other words, the church must deal with emotional health and not just spiritual health and power.
The following are common traits hurt people display in their interactions with others.
I. Hurt people often transfer their inner anger onto their family and close friends.
* Often those around them become the recipients of harsh tones and fits of rage because they have unknowingly become the vicarious recipients of transferred rage.
II. Hurt people interpret every word spoken to them through the prism of their pain.
* Because of their pain, ordinary words are often misinterpreted to mean something negative towards them.
* Because of this, they are extremely sensitive and act out of pain instead of reality.
III. Hurt people interpret every action through the prism of their pain.
* Their emotional pain causes them to suspect wrong motives or evil intent behind other people’s actions towards them.
IV. Hurt people often portray themselves as victims and carry a "victim spirit."
* Often hurt people can cry "racism," "sexism," "homophobia," or often use the words "unjust" or "unfair" to describe the way they are being treated, even if there is no truth to this. (That is not to deny that sometimes there really is racism or sexism; this is just used as an example.)
* Hurt people have a hard time entering into a trusting relationship.
* Hurt people often carry around a suspicious spirit.
V. Hurt people often alienate others and wonder why no one is there for them.
* They often continually hurt the ones they love and need the most with their self-destructive behavior.
VI. Hurt people have the emotional maturity of the age they received their (un-dealt with) hurt.
* For example, if a girl was raped by a man when she was 12 years old, unless she forgives that man and allows Christ to heal her heart and allay her fears, in that particular area of her life (sexuality with a man) her emotional growth may stop; even when she reaches her later years she may still have the emotional maturity of a 12 year-old.
VII. Hurt people are often frustrated and depressed because past pain continually spills over into their present consciousness.
* In many instances, they may not even be aware of why they are continually frustrated or depressed because they have coped with pain by compartmentalizing it or layering it over with other things over time.
VIII. Hurt people often erupt with inappropriate emotion because particular words, actions, or circumstances "touch" and "trigger" past woundedness.
* I have been in situations with people in which there was a gross overreaction to a word I spoke or an action that was taken. Although I was shocked and thought this reaction came "out of left field" it was really the person responding to an accumulation of years of hurt and pain that could not help but spill over in various situations.
* I myself have been in situations where I felt hurt, troubled, or overreacted to something because it touched a nerve with what I was still dealing with because of a wound I received in the past. In these situations I have attempted to reason through the situation as objectively as I can with much prayer and introspection so I would not say or do anything damaging to another person or myself.
IX. Hurt people often occupy themselves with busyness, work, performance, and/or accomplishments as a way of compensating for low self-esteem.
* Often ministers are not motivated by a love for Jesus but a drive to accomplish.
* It is important that pastors and ministers be led by the Spirit instead of being driven to succeed.
* A minister should not preoccupy himself with making things happen. He or she should walk in integrity and humility and allow God to open up doors and provide a ministerial platform according to their assignment for their life and ministry.
X. Hurt people often attempt to medicate themselves with excessive entertainment, drugs, alcohol, pornography, sexual relationships, or hobbies as a way to forget their pain and run from reality.
* Until the church learns to deal with and emphasize the emotional life and health of the believer, the church will be filled with half-Christians who pray and read the Bible but find no victory because they do not face the woundedness in their souls.
XI. Hurt people have learned to accommodate their private "false self" or "dark side" which causes them to be duplicitous and lack integrity.
* Often their private life is different from their public life, which causes hypocrisy and compounds feelings of guilt, condemnation, and depression.
XII. Hurt people are often self-absorbed with their own pain and are unaware that they are hurting other people.
* They are often insensitive to other people because their emotional pain limits their capacity for empathy and their capacity for self-awareness.
* I have been in numerous situations when someone hurt me and kept on going in the relationship without ever apologizing because they had no clue about what they were doing.
XIII. Hurt people are susceptible to demonic deception.
* I am convinced that most of the divisions in the church are caused by saints who lack emotional health and project their pain onto others.
* Satan works in darkness and deception, and stays away from the light. Hurt people often have destructive habit-patterns that are practiced in the dark. Hence, their mind becomes a breeding ground for satanic infiltration and deception.
* If the church would deal more with the emotional health of the individual, there would be less of a foothold for demonic infiltration. Also, there would be stronger relationships, stronger marriages, healthier children, and a more balanced approach to ministry with less of a chance of pastoral and congregational burnout.
XIV. God often purposely surfaces pain so hurt people can face reality.
* Whether it is because of a marriage problem, or continual personal conflicts on the job, God often allows conflict and spillover because he wants the infection to stop spreading and the person to be healed.
* Often Christians are fighting the devil and blaming him for conflict when in essence God often allows conflict so that people would be motivated to dig deeper into their lives to deal with root causes of destructive thought and habit patterns.
* God’s purpose for us is that we would all be conformed to the image of Christ. (Romans 8:29). This does not just happen with Bible studies, prayer, and times of glory but also in painful situations when we have to face what has been hurting us for many years.
* I have noticed that these periods of surfacing woundedness often take place when people transition into the mid-life years of their upper thirties and later. Perhaps this is because by then they are old enough to understand by experience that there is something wrong and also that it is not too late to redeem their pain and restore relationships and maximize their purpose. Rarely is a person able or even willing to deal with and face pain when they hit their senior years (in their sixties or older). Most at this age have already become cynical, hard-hearted, and/or become so depressed they have become hopeless even though God is able to help them at any age.
XV. Hurt people need to forgive to be released and restored to freedom.
* The Gospel of St. John 20:23 says that we have to release the sins of others if we are going to be released. This means that if we do not forgive others then the very thing we have become victimized with will become a part of our life. For example, alcoholic fathers can breed alcoholic sons if their sons do not forgive and release their fathers.
* The good news is that, through the efficacious blood of Christ, we can all be healed and set free from all past hurts so we can comfort others with the same comfort we ourselves have received from God (2 Corinthians 1:4).
Truly our mess can become our message!
Lastly I just want to tell you that if you read my previous posts you will find that I went through an abusive relationship with him too, mentally, emotionally and physically, he cheated on me so many times and now we are divorced because us being hurt is not in God’s plan. God wants us to be happy. He has plans to prosper us and not to harm us. Pray and ask our Heavenly Father to guide you my friend. It is not easy, not at all, I know. Please ask God’s guidance, only He can carry us through our storms in live.
There is a saying that goes: To have God in our lives does not mean sailing on a boat with no storms. It means sailing on a boat that no storm can sink.
I hope my post helped you a bit, Remember that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind and remember that God loves us, no matter what. He even loves your husband and is hurting that he is hurting you and himself. Be blessed, Love Leonie
(USA) Leonie – this is a GREAT post!! I love these things you write – I don’t know where you find them but they are great. It is SOOOO true to life and I really like it. I think anyone dealing/living with someone who has this problem (and many of us are) should read it and take it to heart. It think it is very applicable. I’ll probably email this to my friends as well – it’s just priceless wisdom. Thanks!!
(SOUTH AFRICA) Hi Cindy, I subscribe to Keith Overturf’s website and get daily mails from him. This is his mail address: liverite@christianchallengeandblessing.com and this is his website address: http://www.christianchallengeandblessing.com
His messages are very encouraging and the last three I had was the three primary strategies of the Devil which is the very truth of how Satan operates in the world. He sends me your marriage messages too.
I just want to share with all of you how faithful God is. Last night I felt very down and hurt again, my former husband and his girlfriend bought the kids toys and when I asked him for money for food he told me that he is not working. She bought the things for them. I told him that it is still a week to go for me to pay day and that the food is finished and I am not going to
borrow money from anyone because financially I cannot do that. I was upset because I have to do everything with the little I make, pay everything from school fees to chreche fees, transport fees, clothes and food. I love my boys but sometimes things just get too much for me. I prayed and cried again to our Father and then this morning I got a mail message from another married couple that I subscribe to, Andrew and Vanessa, Psalm 6:9 The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer.
God is really faithful, He uses Andrew every day to send me the message that I need. I am getting the flu and don’t feel so well because the winter here is starting out very cold and we still have two more months of winter to go till spring, but my spirit is soaring even if I don’t look it.
If you are interested in getting mail from Andrew and Vanessa too you can mail them at: subscribe@mail.a2gadmin.alivetogod.com or you can visit their website at: http://www.alivetogod.com
Here is another message from Keith that can encourage someone.
I REFUSE!
I refuse to be discouraged, To be sad, or to cry;
I refuse to be downhearted, and here’s the reason why:
I have a God who’s mighty, Who’s sovereign and supreme;
I have a God who loves me, and by grace I’m on His team.
He is all-wise and powerful. Jesus is His name;
Though everything is changeable, My God remains the same.
My God knows all that’s happening; Beginning to the end;
His presence is my comfort; He is my dearest Friend.
When sickness comes to weaken me, To bring my head down low,
I call upon my mighty God; Into His arms I go.
When circumstances threaten to rob me of my peace;
He draws me close unto His breast, Where all my strivings cease.
When my heart melts within me, and weakness takes control;
He gathers me into His arms, He soothes my heart and soul.
The great "I AM" is with me. My life is in His hand.
The "Son of the Lord" is my hope. It’s in His strength I stand.
I refuse to be defeated. My eyes are on my God;
He has promised to be with me, As through this life I trod.
I’m looking past all my circumstances, To Heaven’s throne above;
My prayers have reached the heart of God I’m resting in His love.
I give God thanks in everything. My eyes are on His face;
The battle’s His, the victory mine; He’ll help me win the race.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!
All I can say is I REFUSE TO BE DEFEATED!!!!!
Be Blessed and have a Blessed great wonderful weekend.
Love you all Leonie
LT, I wish I can be one of your email buddies. If you want my mail address let me know and I will get it to you.
(USA) Good Morning Ladies, It’s been awhile since we last spoke; how is every one? Well things with me have been up, then down, then up again. My cousin whom I have mentioned before recently tried to commit suicide. I had to file a petition to have her forced into treatment and have been practically living at that hospital. Please pray for her and for God to work in her heart. She is such a loving, compassionate person that I am sure her illnesses are of the devil.
My husband and I have also been fighting a lot lately with all of the stress going on in my family and because he’s just very selfish. He admits it. However lately, I got the apology I was waiting for from him. He had some time to think about how unsupportive and mean he has been to me over the past few weeks. His words made me cry because he just said what I needed him to say. He’s not that type of guy usually so this was big.
Gigi, It’s a pleasure to meet you. I am so sorry to hear about how you’ve been being treated. Don’t stop praying for him. Live your life and get closer to the LORD but don’t forget to keep praying for him. Things in life have to happen for a reason and if you don’t believe that then you do not trust the LORD. Read Isaiah 45. It’s a beautiful chapter and it will help you. This helps reaffirm God’s promises to you. He is faithful as Leonie said. You have to believe that he will give you what you need and complete control over everything….even your marriage. Trust HIM!
Your husband should not be lashing out at you like he does. Pray for his anger to be taken away and pray for his pain to go with it. Have you ever read the emotionally distant spouse? It’s under the "married woman" section of this site. I recommend this article all the time. It’s so helpful in understand why men/women lash out in the situations that make them uncomfortable. His being rude to you is only to distract you from the problem you and he may have been trying to address. It’s really quite good. Check it out and don’t stop praying; it does work.
Leonie, I love you girl and I will keep praying for you. Hope everything gets better really soon. God will provide for you and I am so glad you trust that. Love you ladies, Love Lynne
PS How is Anne doing? Any one heard from her?